I wish more adults would spend time watching things like this instead of scrolling around on social media.its never too late to grow and learn together.

@redlotusqueen

4 жыл бұрын

So true.

@FABIOLINDOCC

4 жыл бұрын

DAMN YOU SAID IT!!

@nirvan1617

4 жыл бұрын

Well Said 🤝 I have become a 👍 fan of Tedx Talks.. It has helped me overcome my 😈 devilish addiction..

@MegaLadylove2012

4 жыл бұрын

Shevani S Right! More specifically, men

@justincoats7236

4 жыл бұрын

@@MegaLadylove2012 Men handle things different than women but I disagree with you. It's 50/50. It's like saying, "Satan mostly tempts men to sin." Men are incarcerated 11 to 1 to women. This seems to prove you right but women just do other things to make life difficult. Dr. Phil, "No matter how flat you smash a pancake, there are still two sides." Yes, he does this that drives you crazy but I bet you do things or withhold things that drive him crazy. Really best wishes, my relationship has been so extreme: happy, sad, rewarding, frustrating. I've never gave anything so much effort and been confused at her response. It's a work in progress. Truly best wishes.

‘People go where they feel welcome but stay where they feel valued.’ That says it all.

@jonathantc-the4habits157

4 жыл бұрын

One of my favourite quotes too! :)

@syckindahead

4 жыл бұрын

My fave part! I came back to time stamp it. 👍🏾

@ndabenhlengcobo8741

4 жыл бұрын

👌

@vladimirtelus9360

4 жыл бұрын

I really like that

@MaggieVaz

4 жыл бұрын

So true

Did y'all hear her whisper "mental health" to help him get back on track? That's a partnership! And the way they look at each other while they speak is kinda beautiful.

@andreeaboloca4440

4 жыл бұрын

I found that cute 💖

@titysardonyx207

4 жыл бұрын

I thought I was the only one that heard that. I was looking for this comment!

@jonathantc-the4habits157

4 жыл бұрын

Haha... yes Bon Bon ! She’s always got my back. 😊

@shawnomalley323

4 жыл бұрын

That was a true indicator that these two are a team

@ambricajohnson9514

4 жыл бұрын

yes ALLAT!

1. Be curious, not critical = appreciate difference 2. Be careful, not crushing = fight or flight is selfish -> conflict boundaries -> care for the other 3. Ask, don’t assume = discussing issues 4. Connect, before you correct = communicate value and appreciation, holding back on criticism, people stay where they feel valued

@jonathantc-the4habits157

4 жыл бұрын

That's a pretty good summary right there, @Clyde! I could suggest a handful of tweaks but the point is once you understand WHAT to do, the next and more important step is to build understanding of HOW to actually develop the habits and then start practicing them daily. We have a range of blogs, free and discounted resources on our "the4habits" site that can help. Wishing you all the best in all your relationships.

@krystinmetz5944

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you

@precyrose823

Жыл бұрын

100% thank you for the Ted talk. I am sure it has helped and influenced many people !

@pridas3986

Жыл бұрын

great!

@DavidaSackmanButterfly

Жыл бұрын

I suppose maybe just be you and make sure you tell you, what you really want and need too. Thank you for these talks!

1. Be curious, not critical 2. Be careful, not crushing 3. Ask, don’t assume 4. Connect, before you correct You’re welcome! (The speech is great nonetheless)

@ericbashir7275

4 жыл бұрын

Thank you.

@MStar10

4 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much Sara!

@cholhoknaam1539

4 жыл бұрын

Saviour I don’t have enough data 😂😂😂

@bk4of4

4 жыл бұрын

Thanks ! The intro goes on forever

@moonshadow6430

4 жыл бұрын

thank you, the speech is confusing, 15 min for tax payers or so and rachel and idk, didn't have the patience.

*This also highlights the importance of choosing a partner with values and beliefs that are compatible with yours. Attraction and even love isn’t enough to maintain happiness in a relationship.*

@CanberraGuy28

2 жыл бұрын

You're so right about that and I've found the best way to know is to listen to the early signs during the dating stage. It can be hard to admit when someone's not right for you but it's a great fence at the top of the cliff, and hopefully avoids having to call an ambulance at the bottom. Another good TED Talk is called Select the Right Relationship....I recommend checking it out if you haven't seen it!

@tatianagonzalez-argoti9497

2 жыл бұрын

Not according to The Lobster

@ogochukwuumeaku2509

2 жыл бұрын

Its hard to dig deep enough into a person's value system in the dating phase, you'll get some valuable insights but never enough or all. Its part of the reason why even people who've dated for donkey years still have marital issues around values.

@mabelw7

2 жыл бұрын

What are similar values and beliefs

@nathalie5238

2 жыл бұрын

Hard to find someone with same values. Been looking for 8 years. Compatible values AND attractive are rare gems apparently

MY PARENTS!!!! I am so proud of what you have achieved. Keep it up. Edit: For those wondering, my mother is indeed Jamaican, my father is from Sierra Leone.

@squeaks27

4 жыл бұрын

Usually it’s the parents who are proud of their child, not the other way round!

@tic9563

4 жыл бұрын

@@squeaks27 Lol

@louiseattzs

4 жыл бұрын

Random Commenter it goes both ways for this family

@arthurgold517

4 жыл бұрын

Isaac Taylor-Cummings they came to lochinver

@LD-mv3bk

4 жыл бұрын

Awww love this

We need more dating/relationship coaching like THIS instead of all these male and female "dating coach" profiles teaching you how to string the other along or manipulate each other emotionally. This was refreshing!!

@jontaylor-cummings4068

3 жыл бұрын

Glad you liked it, @Frederick Kitt. Wishing you all the best...

@tcewmg3430

3 жыл бұрын

VERY TRUE!!

@irenemendoza7691

3 жыл бұрын

100%

@amarachichinenye21

2 жыл бұрын

Very true

@ms.e195

2 жыл бұрын

I agree

U can't solve a problem with the same level of thinking that got u there - Einstein

@shawnomalley323

4 жыл бұрын

Not sure that was Einstein Tijaduno

@nascentnaomie

4 жыл бұрын

Tijaduno wow. This is the first time I heard this. So simple but so profound

@minseokim5781

3 жыл бұрын

È

@llClassifiedll

3 жыл бұрын

“Insanity - doing the same thing over and over but expecting a different result” -also Einstein

@EpicRobloxTomboy

3 жыл бұрын

I just came from another Ted Talk which had that quote. Co-ink-e-dink.

Wouldn't it be so good if we would learn this at school ? My life would have been a lot easier and less painful. Who agrees?

@windsofmarchjourneyperrytr2823

3 жыл бұрын

This would be WAY more useful than algebra. I never used it 35 years ago and going back to school was the ONLY time I did.

@ayjanannageldiyeva6058

3 жыл бұрын

Yeahhh precisely there should be some academic subjects on things like this

@jonathantc-the4habits157

3 жыл бұрын

I couldn't agree more, @Womens Wisdom School! In fact, that was precisely one of the drivers behind the charity we recently registered with the UK Charity Commission, with a vision to get this kind of equipping into Schools, Colleges and Universities, as well as lots of other local community groups. Find out more and perhaps even get behind our efforts to equip as many adults and children as possible with essential relationship skills - starting with the first 1 million people over the next 10 years - at our "Soulmates Academy Foundation" website. Meanwhile, thanks for anything you can do to help us get the word, and the equipping, out there...

@elizabethellis4759

3 жыл бұрын

Yes, I agree that we need some curriculum about relationships in high school.

@michaelzeller2542

3 жыл бұрын

@@windsofmarchjourneyperrytr2823 But Algebra, respectivly maths in general, did help you build up to think in a certain way, further it helps people really understanding and applying concepts, generalize problems. I dont wanna totally defend our school system, but i also do not think we should teach stuff like this instead of algebra, altough i may understand, even not fully, why this could be helpful taught in school

My husband and I have been together for 10 years and without knowing it, we put ALL these guidelines into our marriage. We talk about our values, we put each other first, we pull closer to each other in hard times and cherish the good times. My Alun is my best friend and I'm so crazy in love with him xx

@jonathantc-the4habits157

4 жыл бұрын

Awesome, Janet Hill ! You guys appear to have landed on your feet. Would love to know, did you have great parental role models or learn some other way? Either way, keep up the excellent work.

@kymcoote4493

4 жыл бұрын

Janet Hill yes it is magic when you don't have to WORK at the relationship you LIVE FOR EACH OTHER! Each and every day is about rejoicing in our love!!!

@SoAnesu

4 жыл бұрын

You got yourself a good one!

@schawnettarobinson8584

4 жыл бұрын

I’m so happy for you. You are very fortunate. He is very lucky to have you. May God continue to bless your union. All the best always 😀

@darknightstalker

3 жыл бұрын

Is he really your best friend or do you have a girlfriend whos also your best friend? The title of "best friend" is usually only supposed to be occupied by one person

Man, this is true. My husband and I broke up after four years together, were apart for three years, and then we got back together and have been strong af since. We decided right then that we were gonna go balls to the wall with honesty and love. We went to a therapist and got alot of this information, how to fight constructively, how to stay calm, how to communicate without anger. He is my best friend and we love each other deeply.

@jonathantc-the4habits157

4 жыл бұрын

Ahhh... how lovely to hear it, @Sarah Pedro! In 20 years of working in this space we've come across another 2 other couples with not too dissimilar stories - although they went the whole 9-yards of going through divorce and having other partners... before getting back together again! The funny part is they never stopped LOVING each other... they just had to learn how to start LIKING each other again! Once they did that, living together wasn't such a problem anymore. All the best to you both...

@kieramonahan9574

4 жыл бұрын

I am so happy for you. and hopeful for tomorrow... thank you!

@jonathantc-the4habits157

4 жыл бұрын

That is just awesome to hear! It is always so great to see love winning out. As the ancient text puts it "People perish for lack of knowledge". If only more people could just learn & start practicing these habits. You guys keep strong and keep fighting the good fight...

@windsofmarchjourneyperrytr2823

3 жыл бұрын

I'm of the "Trust no one, Scully" school of relationships, myself. I only buy it if I see physical proof of such. Lol

@IvonaFlakus

2 жыл бұрын

I hope something similar happens to us too 😩 We have been together for 6+ years and we had a really hard year this year - financially, emotionally, each one personally with childhood trauma and triggers.. - so I exploded and left him.. And he ran away into a new relationship.. 💔 And I have been doing the healing for the past couple of months.. and I hope that I get the chance to help him too ~ couples therapy would be magical for us. Because we are sooo good together. And live is there.. but we just had a fallout.. 😩💔

Communication. That's it. That's the only thing everyone needs to do to have good/great relationships, assuming you have a certain level of compatibility of course. My wife and I have the best relationship there is and much of that has to do with the fact that we tell each other EVERYTHING. We never ever lie (not even about tiny things), we never fight (not the same as never arguing), and we have a rule that we always assume the other is acting out of helpfulness and love. It is utterly impossible to have a good relationship of any real depth without communicating well. Communication requires vulnerability, which I think is a big reason why many people aren't great at it.

@jonathantc-the4habits157

4 жыл бұрын

Couldn't agree more @B May... at the end of the day, the 4 Habits do each help couples improve the way they communicate 1) when expectations are unmet, 2) in conflict situations, 3) when they don't see eye to eye on important matters, and 4) in the face of different emotional needs. Sounds like you guys have it all together! Keep shining.

@bmay8818

4 жыл бұрын

@@jonathantc-the4habits157 Thanks! Yeah, we have one of those one in a million relationships; we've been together 6 years and miss each other every day before we come home. Few couples have this thought: we both have felt that we'd rather die before the other person, just so we wouldn't have to be without the other, and we consider this a selfish thing. Anyway, yes, communication is the most important thing in all relationships, and you're right, the stuff mentioned in this video is essentially stating that, just with specifics. It's sad that people just assume that fights are a part of all relationships, but they're not, they're evidence of a breakdown in communication.

@asha_vere

4 жыл бұрын

I'd go even further to say proper and healthy communication. Because you can be very clear in what you're trying to communicate, but that doesn't mean it's in a proper or healthy way.

@bmay8818

4 жыл бұрын

@@asha_vere I'm not sure what you mean. If you're saying that communication needs to be done with each others' communication style in mind, then sure. But if you mean that people need to sugar-coat things, then definitely not. I am usually a very straightforward/blunt person, as I think that the best way to handle difficult truths is head-on. I don't shy away from such things, because changing how they're talked about doesn't help the problem, it just obfuscates. I do recognize that others aren't the same as me, and I try to keep differences in mind when communicating, but I consider sugar coating the truth to be a form of lying.

@EEEEEEELE

4 жыл бұрын

That's it!!

True! But it’s only work when both sides have self-awareness and willing to make a change!

@jonathantc-the4habits157

4 жыл бұрын

True that you get the best results when both parties are open to learn and change. That's why we strongly encourage that couples learn and start practicing these habits as soon as possible and ideally before they start facing major challenges.

@alinehalischak536

4 жыл бұрын

DANA SHEMESH IFBB PRO - Miss Israel yeah you have to have two pretty open willing people.

@alexdavidovic2673

4 жыл бұрын

Yes !!!

@pjlove76

4 жыл бұрын

DANA SHEMESH IFBB PRO - Miss Israel absolutely

@RainbowInBloom

4 жыл бұрын

This is the missing piece. I tried this approach with my last boyfriend - it's just how I am - but he's a narcissist. There was no hope.

I did not know healthy relationships were a benefit to public health. I like this video. It’s very important.

@jonathantc-the4habits157

4 жыл бұрын

Absolutely @E Williams! And the silver lining to the cloud is that it means governments are finally beginning to take investing in helping people develop healthy relationships seriously. We had the privilege of sparking a debate in UK Parliament earlier this year when Mental Health Awareness Week and Marriage Week coincided in the UK for the first time ever. You can find more details on our website (under the What's On section) if you search for Soulmates Academy.

@silverlinings3946

4 жыл бұрын

@@jonathantc-the4habits157 .I'm interested how the figure £51 bn a year was arrived at. Seeing that mental health is starved of funds.

@jonathantc-the4habits157

4 жыл бұрын

@@silverlinings3946 sorry for slow response. It's a good question. The bulk of it is social housing. Check out the full details in the actual report produced by the Marriage Foundation. You should be able to find it by googling Marriage Foundation research 51bn. All the best...

@silverlinings3946

4 жыл бұрын

@@jonathantc-the4habits157 that's a bit disingenuous to make the connection. It is not convincing to me that it should be treated as a cost allocated to mental health. And it is possibly in the interest of Marriage Foundation to choose this figure to frighten people away from relationship which makes them very unhappy, to actually make them feel guilty if they seek to remove themselves from a very unhealthy situation. If people are unhappy in marriage and stay in this situation, there grows a next generation of people unsuited to healthy partnership. As my friend, with a PhD in child psychology said, it is much better for a child to see separated happy parents than unhappy parents living together. That child then has a better chance to enter in a relationship with someone better suited for them, than try to mould himself or herself into a relationship with someone incompatible.

@jonathantc-the4habits157

4 жыл бұрын

@@silverlinings3946 you appear to have blended two points. What I believe we said was that apart from the obvious emotional impact on the individuals concerned and their nearest and dearest, relationship breakdown is a huge problem, costing the government c£51bn p.a. And that relationship breakdown has also been highlighted by the Mental Health Foundation as a huge contributor to Mental Health, especially in Teens. Find their 2016 report by Googling mental health foundation relationships 21st century. I totally agree that it is better for children to see their parents apart and happy than together and constantly miserable. Unfortunately though, a great many couples don't know HOW to live together happily - we believe many people get stuck like that and the work we do shows them how to get over inevitable hurdles in relationships so that they benefit, any children benefit, their employers benefit, society benefits, etc. Hope that helps clarify.

Intentional Relationship Habit 1. Be curious, not critical (invest in the time to consider the different thinking ability) 2. Be careful, not crushing. (learn how to work together, honor, respect vs react) 3. Ask vs assume (communication we respect) 4. Connect before you correct (be deliberate to find a meaningful moment in the relationship)

@jontaylor-cummings4068

3 жыл бұрын

Good summaries in general, @Anastasia J... but suggest #2 is more about taking care of each other when emotions are running high, and #4 is more about finding ways to, on purpose, show them how much they mean to you.

She quietly whispered “mental health” to get him back on track while still nodding in agreement. That’s love ❤️

@drasnikov4754

Жыл бұрын

Hi Vanessa. You look interesting to talk to Can we be friends if you don't mind

I am a highly spiritual women. I am now 28months a widow after 35 yrs together. As I reflect on our time together the most significant action I took when ever we were in trouble over my head, was prayer. Asking for the higher power to help. It worked like magic. There is a power greater than ourselves. Compassionate, merciful and wise. One need not be religious to call on this remarkable awesome force for intervention.💗💕🙏

@Hwoman1123

4 жыл бұрын

Im not highly spiritual. But I agree 100%.. Prayer gives some power and wisdom somehow

@jonathantc-the4habits157

4 жыл бұрын

With you on that, @Joanne Goodman! In my experience, prayer is often a very useful time out to reflect on situations, remember a bigger picture and come back with a better mindset.

@RetirementbyDesign26

4 жыл бұрын

Beautiful and so very true

@imraanmia8001

4 жыл бұрын

Agreed.. but it's also our duty to seek knowledge.. seek and find out more about our one true Creator.. the oneness and beauty of God Almighty. For this material world is but just a short distraction and our ultimate goal should be to be happy in the hereafter.

@marieclaire1662

4 жыл бұрын

“The function of prayer is not to influence God, but rather to change the nature of the one who prays.” ~Kirkegaard

“You cannot solve a problem with the same level of thinking that got you there” ❤️❤️

@RadislavPirgozliev

21 күн бұрын

Way to be a pro - inter talking and here's the secret to an ideal relationship - maths: 51% one partner, 49% pair partner. 60%/40% maximum rarely. 😇

The Irony is most people here don't have enough patient to go through 16 minutes video but want to keep a good relationship. POOAAAA

@jonathantc-the4habits157

4 жыл бұрын

That is precisely one of the thoughts I found so odd initially! Sadly we live in very much an "instant" culture. Keep investing and you will reap the rewards.

@visionsofaseerministry991

4 жыл бұрын

😂😂😂

@mitchellhammond4509

4 жыл бұрын

I can see where you are coming from, but would really hate to generalise or group all people as just a whole instead of individualizing them as they should be. Some may not be working on just for example, "Relationships," so as you said, would not spend the 16 minutes to watch said clip, but if you were to fill the same 16 minutes with information on "Rock hunting" and that was what they felt they needed, well I'm pretty sure that not only would they watch, listen, and hear the information presented to them, at some later time, incorporate in their own lives and also share the value gained with others.

@cindys9491

3 жыл бұрын

@@mitchellhammond4509 yes. They aren't in a committed relationship with TEDx or this KZread video, for example.

@1.88.3.9

3 жыл бұрын

So me.... I was wondering when they would get to the four habits already.

My husband and I have been together 14 years. I'm always willing to hear and learn new things on becoming a better wife.

I love how she feed him his line...Have each others back!! Great talk.

@DoItNow346

4 жыл бұрын

teamwork

Ask and not assume is a huge one for me.

@The4Habits

4 жыл бұрын

Glad to hear it resonating, Marvin! Keep building all 4 habits and you'll reap the rewards.

@natalieboult4726

4 жыл бұрын

They all work together.. you must fill in the blanks to get rid of assumptions.. we all assume to a certain degree.. and rightfully so

I love the mutually supportive body language ... walking the talk

@fluffyclouds555

3 жыл бұрын

Good point. Love how they hold a space for each other by turning towards the other & listening intently with eyes & ears

@luccarroy8254

3 жыл бұрын

It is as you say, where are you from if I may ask

My parents are in a hard place right now, they are constantly angry at each other, fight about silly things, and be disappointed in each other. They are taking zero effort to work it out. So, my elder sister, my younger brother, and I took it on our hands to solve the issue. We cannot bear this any longer. I am watching these videos to prepare myself to talk to them about it and help them understand the problem and solve it. I really hope they can work it out. They cannot have a proper conversation or understand each other. Instead, they will just lash out at each other which always ends with either one or both of them being hurt. I am going to suggest these habits and hope it will work out. The talk was really useful for preparing myself, hope it will solve the issue too.

@mariamalhotra8228

3 жыл бұрын

What a lovely daughter you are to them! :)

@huydoan1101

2 жыл бұрын

great kid, hope it went well

@dianecatanzaro1704

2 жыл бұрын

I found that recording them and showing them later when they have calmed down helps one to fully understand the impact.

@melmel7011

2 жыл бұрын

How did it go?

@kayanclarke5216

2 жыл бұрын

You are a brave and intelligent child. Your parents are doing something right.

what you said makes total sense. thx for your epxerince !! my experience from bed is trying natural drops spanish fly (my best friend recommended it to me) and i feel like god after 5 drops of it . i thought it is nonsence but actually it hepled me a lot

@mayacornwell7291

Жыл бұрын

wow i also tried these natural aphrodisiacs w my husband actually. i just have to say that i can see great results and potential there. for me and others it's the future

@drasnikov4754

Жыл бұрын

Hi Heather,you look interesting to talk to... Can we be friends if you don't mind

both people must be committed to growing together otherwise someone gets outgrown

@jonathantc-the4habits157

4 жыл бұрын

Agreed. It is absolutely the commitment to "growing together" and especially through the inevitable challenges of life, that's important.

@DoItNow346

4 жыл бұрын

agreed and that hurts

The Four Habits: 1. Be curious, not critical Invest in the time to consider the different thinking ability Helps appreciate each others strengths 2. Be careful, not crushing. Reprogramming fight/flight to go from self-centric to us-centric Learn how to work together Respect vs react Boundaries/rules of war 3. Ask vs assume Communicating what respect/love ect means to us What are our expectations What does our ideal relationship look like Getting good at having productive conversations 4. Connect before correct Be deliberate to find a meaningful moment in the relationship Learning how to listen/have a good conversation Holding back on the need to give “constructive criticism” Reminding yourself how much you value the other even when you're around them all the time -"People go where they are wanted but stay where they are valued " Find meaningful specific ways that bring warmth into the relationship

@The4Habits

Жыл бұрын

Nice summary there, @zzleigh128. Next step, make those principles into habits that show up in your daily interactions. Wishing you all the best in your relationships. ADDED: We now have a bunch of free resources available over on our channel to help people go deeper and actually start developing those habits in their relationships. Hope that’s helpful…

@puritynjeri2270

3 ай бұрын

Amazing thank you

People simply don't know how to love each other which is why videos like this are essential. And not loving yourself leads to choosing the wrong partner. love in action is a constant practice let's keep learning 💗🙏

I appreciate every single one of the last 16 minutes and 42 seconds spent on my smartphone

I also love how he looks at her EVERYTIME she speaks... This was powerful...

@-rainbow-froggie-672

Жыл бұрын

Shows he really cares

When she helps him with his train of thought at 3:33 and whispers “mental health”.....I drank the kool-aid. ♥️♥️♥️

@dantonicabowers4386

3 жыл бұрын

I hope you used sugar lol ❤️

@charlenerobinson2965

3 жыл бұрын

“Drank the kool-aid”🤣🤣🤣 I love it

Unhappiness in marriages also affects children.

@The4Habits

4 жыл бұрын

Totally agree, Itzel. Finding a way to work things out has benefits on multiple levels.

@labrigful

4 жыл бұрын

Divorcees are still unhappy with their relationship with the other parent, still fight at times, and might even talk bad about each other in front of the kids. So getting along is what is best for the kids

@jonathantc-the4habits157

4 жыл бұрын

@@labrigful We've found that helping people understand WHY other people do/did what they do/did (even if they are a former spouse/partner) brings greater healing to the relationship and everyone benefits.

@titysardonyx207

4 жыл бұрын

Exactly my thoughts!

@ajen1270

4 жыл бұрын

It is the foundation of problem child

I love how she helped him out when he forgot his part ❤️

@The4Habits

4 жыл бұрын

Haha, yes Tundi! Teamwork makes the dream work! :)

Investing in relationships · More curious than critical · More careful than crushing · Asking rather than assuming · Connecting more than we correct

1. Be curious Not critical => No one is perfect. Don't just look to negative side, see the positive beauty too. 2. Be careful Not crushing => fights are very common and very normal. Don't be me center (my life, my interests,..) Be off center. 3. Ask Don't assume => Instead of making all stories (assumptions) just go and have a talk (ask) 4. Connect Before you correct => understand him/her, understand the situation, the feelings, the things they are going through Before you judge them. Line 1 -> You can't solve a problem with the save level of thinking that got you there. Line 2 -> People go where they feel welcome But stay where they feel valued. Those are things I understood Feedbacks are welcome.

"You can't solve problems with the same level of thinking" - Einstein

"We invest on things we value". Indeed!

omg look how they listen to each other

@kayanclarke5216

2 жыл бұрын

Great modeling

Preparing for my future husband by educating myself with the opinions of others is awesome! I had no idea that so much information existed!!! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

@jontaylor-cummings4068

3 жыл бұрын

Well done you for repairing yourself early, @Pia Love. The better prepared you are the better the journey. We've got some free resources on our the 4 habits . com site. Wishing you all the best!

@change4thebetter211

2 жыл бұрын

Me too! God bless

Such an important Talk and one of the best TedX speeches I've seen in seen in quite some time. Couldn't be more perfectly timed with where my wife and I are at in our marriage. Thank you Dr. Andrea and Jonathan!

@The4Habits

4 жыл бұрын

Thanks Kevin! Really great to get the feedback and hear it spoke to you. In our experience, the sooner people equip themselves and start practicing the habits, the sooner they start getting over the inevitable hurdles of relationships and actually get to really enjoy spending time together. All the best with putting the theory into practice...

@andreatcsoulmates2765

4 жыл бұрын

That's great to hear Kevin and really encouraging to know its making a difference, which is our hope and prayer. Thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts and all the very best to you and your wife in living out the habits for each other.

@DrTLKillens

4 жыл бұрын

Kevin Fremon I agree

@The4Habits

4 ай бұрын

Conscious it’s been a while now… but if you’re looking for practical help to actually develop the habits, we’ve now got lots of free resources available over on our channel. Wishing you all the best in your relationships…

I found this a much more refreshing offering than the typical: "We keep on telling men to be better men, and we just simply can't figure out why relationships keep breaking down," one-sided diatribe. Thank You! 🙏🏼

I needed to hear this more than this couple knows. Extremely insightful & something I will share with my significant other. Thank you ❣️

The respect they have for one another is everything, it made their love stronger. Thank you!

Great advice for all relationships. Fantastic! Thank you!

I wanna comment again and say thank you so much you two for this video and this speech. I agree that relationships are so worthy of being invested in rather than chanced upon in the world. I wanna put forth that effort in my life. Thank you ❤️

This woman has such a pleasant voice. I can listen to her whole day.

Truly love yourself at first then you can love others.

Thanks for this great talk. I added the 4 reminders on my phone. it's very important especially with our children ❤

Cultivating mindful habits like this are so crucial for a healthy and passionate relationship. Thank you for sharing this! Would love to see another few million views to ensure the message impacts more of our world. ❤❤

Thank you! This really gave me some great places to start 💕

People go where they feel welcome but stay where they feel valued..just beautiful..

@jontaylor-cummings4068

3 жыл бұрын

Wishing you all the best in keeping the people around you feeling valued, @Sumati. _/\_

The lady speaks so calmly, so comforting

'We all invest in the things that we value' well said 👏

Such a great talk! "People go where they feel welcome but stay where they feel valued.", so many good points made here! ❤️

@jonathantc-the4habits157

4 жыл бұрын

Ahhh... thank you, Jill. It was a real privilege and joy preparing for and delivering the talk, but so much more satisfying to see it resonating so well now.

@The4Habits

4 ай бұрын

It’s a while ago now, but if you’re looking for help to actually develop the habits, we’ve now got lots of free resources available over on our channel. Wishing you all the best in your relationships…

This is amazing to hear familiar voices on KZread! Well done you two! You've been an inspiration to me from young 🔥👏🏾

Dear Dr Andrea and Jon Taylor-Cummings, thank you. I thank you both immensely. I found your talk on the 4 habits of all successful relationships absolutely uplifting, educative and so insightful. Thank you ever so much for sharing these amazing habits with us all.

Thank you so much. I need to apply these four habits to my relations today. So I may have a successful tomorrow.

I just love the way you guys talk, wow wow wow, I definitely practice these rules not knowing how important they are until I got myself listening to you both. This just strengthens every thing

brilliant . the world so need this to correct breaking away of marriages , mental health issues on teenagers and adults , breaking away of ideal moral values ,. and look what equality and mutual respect can achieve. bless you two

@jonathantc-the4habits157

4 жыл бұрын

Thanks Jane beatrice ifeanyi Ejim. The dream is for as many couples as possible to start practicing these habits. We have some FREE resources available (and others at nominal cost) to help people learn HOW TO start developing the habits. Check them out on our website by searching “learn SoulMates Academy”. All the best to you in your relationships...

What a great presentation Ted X.

The timing of this Talk is impeccable. I asked my husband for a divorce and he's not taking me seriously. When your efforts don't feel valued and the kids are grown, there's no need to stay. Nothing kills a relationship like poor communication.

@jontaylor-cummings4068

3 жыл бұрын

Sorry to hear of your current challenges, @Cadella Henry. Sounds like you could both do with more of Habit #4 in your relationship, but I would encourage you both do develop ALL 4 and see how quickly they change the way you feel about each other - especially in the empty nest. Wishing you all the best.

Ace! Yes relationships are so hard but rewarding when you value each other’s intentions and commitment

@jonathantc-the4habits157

4 жыл бұрын

Absolutely @Yewande YorubaGyal! If you can get over the inevitable hurdles, they can be amazing! If you'd like to find out more on the HOW TO front, while we wait for our book to come out in the new year, you can find some free & nominally priced resources on our website... search for "Soulmates Academy".

Wow indeed an amazing insight in relationship issues,, it has helped me understand more on some if the little things we neglect in relationships or the fears that then inhibit the four guidelines thank you for the session 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

Very informative and helpful. Thank you.

Thanks. Appreciate hearing this. I'm on it.

Yes. When families breakdown the cost to society is great. The impact on children in volved can be devastating. We all have expectations before marriage but the reality is it's hard work and requires a lot of love, commitment and tolerance. Ultimately one makes choices. It's easy to give up when the going gets tough but sometimes you have to bite the bullet and leave. Two people united by the bonds of marriage who are pulling in opposite directions are doomed to failure. It always takes two to tango.

This couple's talk is so seamless. Love how they lead and balanced each other. Great speakers.

@jontaylor-cummings4068

3 жыл бұрын

Bless you, @Holly Herald. We do try to walk the talk. :)

I feel like #4 has kept us together, when other 3 have broken down. We starting to learn to use #3 more and ask for help (far from perfect but we are getting there). We both struggle on different levels with #1 and #2 (I blame the fact we both come from divorce families, with very little examples long and happy marriage, but we determined to be one of them). But we know not to stand in each other way and encourage each other to find our inner happiness and be there for one another when that’s a struggle. Thank you for reminder in where we need to work on, because at times that can be struggle to pinpoint too.

06:36 Be curious, not critical 09:01 Be careful, not crushing 10:31 Ask, don’t assume 12:06 Connect, before you correct

I can not thank you enough! I am fascinated by the way you explain everything! Calmly, without hurry! It was a heart-to-heart communication rather than face-to-face. I guess your ability of connecting with so many people can tell a lot about your own relationship and your professional experience! I can not wait to be a Part of Your Soulmates Academy))

@jonathantc-the4habits157

3 жыл бұрын

Ahhh... bless you @Muyassar Sarrarova! Here's hoping some of our resources will add real value to your relationships.

This is a great discuss. Being intentional

Thank you for this information.

I’ve been searching for solutions to help in my relationship. I’m also a Senior TED Fellow. I’ve been watching TED and TEDx talks since 2007. This was an excellently crafted talk for two. It exemplifies the content they communicate so well. It also offers simple yet valuable insights and lessons through a simple story arch. Excellent TEDx talk worthy of the TED mainstage. Do you all have a book out? It reminds me of a fav quote. “Intentionality without habituality is empty. Habituality without intentionality is dead.”

@Andrea-4habits

4 ай бұрын

Our book is now available from all good bookstores. Same name - The 4 Habits of ALL successful relationships 🙏🏽

It be great to bring this into the work environments

These things don't apply to abusive relationships. Always remember that.

Great example of assumptions from past experiences "What planet are your from???" Loved it

Congratulations again to my fellow TEDx SquareMile speakers, truly an inspiration to watch and know how genuine your love and strength of relationship is in person.

@jonathantc-the4habits157

4 жыл бұрын

Aww, bless you Jillian Kowalchuk! It was such an inspirational day. Real privilege to meet and speak alongside all you guys.

I was really touched of their speech...I was just crying of listening of their life performance 💔❤

@jonathantc-the4habits157

4 жыл бұрын

Awww... bless you!

One of the most amazing video I’ve seen so far!

COLD HARD FACTS & COMMON SENSE... I loved this, and I found it right on time.. Thank You for the knowledge.

This was so helpful. Thank you.

@jonathantc-the4habits157

4 жыл бұрын

Thanks for commenting, @L Newman. In case you'd like to find out more detail on HOW TO actually develop the habits in your relationships, we have a number of resources available on our website which you can find by googling "learn soulmates academy 4 habits courses". And to celebrate hitting 100,000 views yesterday (21 Aug 2019) we currently have a special 7-day offer going! Hope that helps...

*romantic relationships are not the only kind of relationship. there are all kinds. the common* *denominator of successful relationships are trust, respect and loyalty.*

@jonathantc-the4habits157

4 жыл бұрын

Fair to say romantic relationships are not the only kind, @monica Webster, although for most people personal relationship are generally their most important. That said, in our experience, having also worked with parent-child and work colleague relationships, we've found the 4 habits apply equally well there. I'd agree that trust, respect and loyalty are common characteristics of successful relationships - in our experience we've found practicing the 4 habits helps people build each of those.

This is a really good Ted Talk. Recently, I found myself agonizing on how I could keep my relationship with my best friend. He was the first one to approach me back when we were strangers and opened up and the rest was history. We talked a lot, chatted, and called. The thing is though our work’s nature required us to be flexible to be reassigned on places at least once every six weeks. We were only together for 3 months before I got transferred. We still kept in touch, maybe even more so. Fast forward to now, and I find myself insecure in our friendship as circumstances arose. Just had a fight a week ago (Right after christmas! Ikr?) and I started it because I felt like he kept dismissing me when in fact I just miss him dearly. Maybe I was bordering on codependency or have an anxious attachment style but he’s known me as an overthinker as I do know him as well. These habits hopefully would make me a better friend to such an incredible guy. I know you won’t see this bro but I love you. You’re a brother to me.

Thank you for an insightful message!!

This was so BEAUTIFUL!!! Thank you so much for Sharing this video,and thank these two for sharing their gifts!!!💙💙💙

@jonathantc-the4habits157

4 жыл бұрын

Thanks TheMmiguelito! The dream is for as many couples as possible to start practicing these habits. We have some FREE resources available (and others at nominal cost) to help people learn HOW TO start developing the habits. Check them out on our website by searching “learn SoulMates Academy”. All the best to you in your relationships...

Excellent talk. This should be prerequisite material for all relationships. Great work🙏🏾.

This is so life altering and practical. Thank you

Great Talk. Thanks for sharing.

I have a strong belief that in order that the relationship thrives, each stake holder must take care that the other one grows personally and for that to happen they should, first of all be okay with the way the other person is. Wanting the other person be your way is a subtle way of controlling him/her and then there's no opportunity to grow on a personal level.

@jonathantc-the4habits157

3 жыл бұрын

Totally agree that we need to learn to respect and value differences and not try and change people to be more like us! It's very difficult to take responsibility for someone else's growth though. Better that each person takes responsibility for their own, albeit we support each other through the process. Thanks for sharing.

Albert Einstein "You cannot solve the problem with the same level of thinking that got you there." Love that quote.

Daym that's deep. I love this thank you for this great share ❤️

I absolutely loved their teamwork; great talk! Thank you

Sometimes personal background , how someone way raised contribute so much in how to handle relationship. If you passed from one family to another without settling with one can really affect how to behave in your marriage esp if your other partner comes from a well organized family. I am living this right now but I have learned to accept that weakness and work with him through it slowly. It's just that he doesn't know how to deal with simple family issues not because he doesn't want but because he never experienced such things before. So background matters alot and always try to know your partner backgrounds. It can save you time to just ignore some things not to fight over.

@jonathantc-the4habits157

4 жыл бұрын

Totally agree! In our experience, most people are good... they only know what they have seen around them and how their parents and other family members behaved. If they have good examples, great. If not... That's why our drive is to help as many people as possible develop the habits that we have observed really make a difference. All the best in your relationships...

I can listen to you for hours

I like his last statement, leave the world a better place for the generations to come. Truly our behavior and choices have an effect on our children.

Outstanding, thanks much.

Lovely talk....I guess it all comes down to being respectful, which often gets eaten up by anger and sadness. I have been working on not reacting - it is a good start.

Thank you for this brilliant talk!Its so easy to understand and the message is profound!

@jonathantc-the4habits157

4 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much, @Thresia! It is so encouraging to get feedback like this and to see the talk continuing to resonate so well. If you'd like to go deeper with the content, we have some blogs and other free and discounted resources on our "the4habits" website which can help. Wishing you all the very best in your relationships...

This is amazing talk. I realized that relationship (couple) is need of good communication. Next is to be curious and balance. Thanks