I was never as anxious, jealous, insecure, unstable, confused, restless as I was when I was with him. I've been cheated on before but there was a finality to it all. A narcisstic relationship is different. It literally takes your entire being.

@Veronicae266

Жыл бұрын

Yes… 😮

@bereal4761

Жыл бұрын

For real, was soul and energy sucking.

@tamonivo

Жыл бұрын

I know how you feel. I hope one day we will be strong and be happy and get what we deserve.

@Steff579

Жыл бұрын

I lost my whole life i lost my personality my spirit. It's taken 9 years to be not anxious on a daily basis.

@mimi-lg8lo

Жыл бұрын

God bless you Richard Grannon these wise insights will help me face the narcissistic victimization I've experienced my whole life and I can begin healing!

They don’t just break your heart they break your soul. That’s why recovery is so difficult. But worth it. Persevere and everything changes for the better.

@healthyforpurpose1898

Жыл бұрын

Will I heal I threw him out 2 days ago god I feel awful trying to be strong

@mistymac9345

Жыл бұрын

My son has recovered, it took almost 4 years.

@Tomgood1984

Жыл бұрын

@@healthyforpurpose1898 if it makes you feel better my brother buried my dad and didn't tell me (who I carried for not him) I gave up my top job to nurse him out of a crack addiction and he stole all my inheritance money. I'm 3 years into no contact but I still get days when i think about him but I trained my self that reminds me that I'm still human and hence no go back. ♥️ Your not alone ...

@dinekevinke3384

Жыл бұрын

That is what I feel in relationship with my colleges

@hankhill3417

Жыл бұрын

Your pain will be melted into psychological bullets they shoot at you. Shaddenfreude

You lose your self identity. Your very foundation of who you are. The confusion and self doubt is overwhelming and the pain devastates you to your soul. See, most people that get into narcissist relationships are very caring and loving people. A lot of times they have very prestigious positions, are nice looking, have money, are very intelligent….something that the narcissist desires to have or be seen with. You go into the relationship having no clue that you are being set up by a con artist, a psychotic person which in reality despises you. They only want what you have to offer, not you. So they systematically set out to take what they want and dump the human soul that would have gladly given it to them. Leaving you devastated. As the narcissist first floods you with attention and unbelievable love bombing they are secretly disarming your defenses. Then once in they are like termites chewing away your very foundation, all your boundaries, self worth, love, compassion, career, social standing, family, money, whatever it is they were attracted to you to begin with. Secretly destroying every emotion and self respect you had. Then without you even knowing it everything collapses. And like the insects they are they move on to destroy someone else’s foundation. You have been lied to, taken advantage of gaslighted, humiliated and feel lower than you ever have in your life. You have been through so much cognitive dissonance you question everything, mostly yourself. You blame yourself at the same time the narcissist is blaming you. You have no idea who you are or have become. You no longer see the loving, successful person you once were. You are deeply traumatized without even knowing it. It takes time and self discovery to realize that the loving, successful person you once were, is still within you. The good news is that in reality the only thing that changed within you is you now see evil, you have been through hell and survived. Now you are on a mission, to not only be with and around non-toxic people, but to love and take care of yourself. You now know who you are: a wonderful, caring, sweet soul. Your spirit grows and flourishes like never before. Additionally, That feeling when your narc partner cheated and you don't have the courage to leave him / her so you just death with the pain and live everyday asking questions about your worth. This pain is different from the cheating one_living and seeing him everywhere anticipating when him or she do it again. The best thing is to hire a private investigator MetaspyHub@gmail. com to help you spy on their cellphone remotely just like he did for me...

@junecoleman9030

Ай бұрын

Your explanation resonates with me…still married to one ..but walked away with difficulty…so much info on narcs now which is positive ..why are there so many of them …have they always been with us but only recognising that now helped by internet ..its like a contagious disease

@seattlerunner

19 күн бұрын

SCAM

@vrgamedev247

2 күн бұрын

Best ad ever

Part 2 - That overwhelming feeling of guilt when you have to go no contact (discard/abandon) this 'child' in an adult's body in order to save yourself - Again this is excellent teaching!

@Nikelaos_Khristianos

7 ай бұрын

This experience is VERY tough, but in retrospect, I’ve found that it can validate one’s own humanity and goodness. Like if you found it hard to abandon someone who is struggling, then you are probably a good person. This dynamic I think is most damaging if it’s a child of a narcissistic parent. As the child has to effectively “parent the parent” and eventually make that decision about abandoning their “child” (parent) because they won’t grow up.

@shellsbells3335

6 ай бұрын

My dad is the narc and although I’ve gone no contact I feel stuck in my recovery/healing. This duality explains why.

@hrhtreeoflife4815

5 ай бұрын

Going no contact 😢

@lindalou4858

4 ай бұрын

They make you look bi polar maybe worse in smear campaigning. Choosing self being ❤😂🎉 Healing traumas hasn't been easy. Trusting until there is proof of no trust. Stay calm watch for the signs Words and actions must match. Unhealthy patterns I see and need to exit silently. No discussions ever now, scapegoated all my life. Sucks.

@Hustle.central

4 ай бұрын

@@Nikelaos_Khristianosthat’s hard to tell there fam

It’s incredible how deep their disfunction and cruelty runs. What a nightmare for those of us that loved who we thought they were.

@rickrussell6188

Жыл бұрын

Well said my friend ... and so true..

@stepfaniehawkins205

Жыл бұрын

Realizing I was in love with someone that didn't exist was the worst.

@Siameezkattwo

Жыл бұрын

Yeah the potential for what it could have been (never!) is the saddest

@Earthylovingurl

Жыл бұрын

It’s such a mind fuk u can’t even put it into words ever .

@MrsIndy-nh1yd

Жыл бұрын

Absolutely! I lived if you were the last man on earth. But I did instead of didn’t!

A good way to look at recovery from narcissistic abuse is like ripping out the wires from your internal programming and untangling them to plug them back in where they belong.

@rolandgervais154

Жыл бұрын

Well put!

@Quarce1

Жыл бұрын

Hard facts

@gwendolyn1694

Жыл бұрын

This!

@Rachel2428

3 ай бұрын

I loved your analogy !

As of today, I'm 97 days NC. I moved across the country. I signed petition for divorce paperwork as I was leaving town. My family keeps telling me how brave I was. After 26 years, I didn't feel brave at all. I felt like an idiot, a coward, a total narc, scared, hurt, a waste, done, used, a liar, lied to, etc. It was and has been a good/bad emotional mess. Some days I swear I can hear his every thought. I'm working my butt off (50 plus hours a week at a job I stand and move non-stop for 9 hours a day) to stay aloft, barely. I'm exhausted beyond what I could have imagined. I'm drained emotional, mentally, financially, and physically. I'm so angry. I was angry before, now it's worse. Which, I honestly didn't think was possible. I'm so angry, all I do is cry and want to curl up in a ball and just take bread crumbs. And my family says, "I'm so brave". If they only knew.

@octavia9464

5 күн бұрын

I believe if you keep on the road you are now on, it will pay off!!! A lot, lot more than where you were before!!! You are on your way out of a nightmare!!!!

This is so true. After my narcissistic relationship of over 10 years I begin to act just like him. I was in narcissistic rage and everyone thought I was the crazy one. I’m so glad I was able to break free this year, it’s been so hard and it does feel like an addict in rehab. They are not human!!

@xxmaybememoriesxx667

10 ай бұрын

feel ya. but yeah about them not being human... this goes along with demonic attachments to these "ppl" very interesting the connection

@Padraigp

9 ай бұрын

Well if you were screaming in rage you were the mental one at that point ...you cant say it was all somone elses fault. You were there with your free will and you got whatever you got from it and you chose to behave that way. Its all great when youve bene in a shit relationship to say well he was a bleep ..but to say he was such a bleep i turned into a bleep and that was somone elses fsult. There was two fo you in it. A sane person a healthy minded person would have had. The first disrespect and walked away. We stayed. We are just as bloody mad as they are to put up with them. Tp love them. To start screaming instead of like a nornal person would walk away. Dya know. Ya gotta own that shit ..and also recognise that its possible that when they are eith somone else it will bbe different for them too. A narcisisitic relationship is a narcisisitic relationship. Which you consented to be in. Which you actuvely participated in creating. It may be that they were much better at it and did more damage but at the end of the day we engaged in that narcissistic relationship just as mcuha s they did.

@Intangibleinspirations

9 ай бұрын

@@Padraigp Your response is about as narcissistic as you are! Carry on!

@Padraigp

9 ай бұрын

@@Intangibleinspirations hmmm... so taking responsibility for your own behaviour is narcisisitic? Well i havent heard that take before. Lol! To me it sounds narcissitic to say you behaved badly shouting and raging but that was somone elses fault?

@Intangibleinspirations

9 ай бұрын

@@Padraigp To me you should use your energy more wisely than commenting a book under my post. Maybe you should practice what you preach and remember when it comes to self accountability everything YOU point out with everybody else, EXIST within! I have done self introspection!!!

After several years of insanity and denial I came to the realization that the person I considered to be my best friend was a bloodsucking jackal of narcissist. Later I understood that having called it a friendship was a stretch - an entanglement would have more accurately described it. I'm disgusted by the amount of abuse I allowed myself to be subjected to before enough was enough.

@bouchetouche

Жыл бұрын

I hear you. I was scapegoated by my childhood friend group for 20+ years until I finally had enough and walked away over a year ago. One of the flying monkeys tries to reach out and guilt trip me for leaving every now and then still.

@innerwestie1446

Жыл бұрын

Me too!

@OnTheEDge2011

Жыл бұрын

Me too. But that ok, Lets go on with our lifes, its a great thing that they are no longer with us. Big hug from Portugal

@francesmartel7948

Жыл бұрын

I hear you too. I came to the realization that I was a “scapegoat” to this narcissistic monster after several years of crap.

@AceGunnerManEIR

Жыл бұрын

I have went through this with multiple friends not really realising what I was in for years. Always being the butt of the jokes etc. This education has glass shattered and showed me the truth. I have lost two of who I thought where my best friends now. Still wondering if I did the right thing going no contact

This is the best explanation I’ve heard yet. And exactly where I’ve been in the prolonged grief that I’ve been clawing my way out of physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and financially. A covert is much more damaging than an overt.

@kittykat632

Жыл бұрын

Totally agree... I'm not even sure how to recover some of the things I once had in all 4 categories

@Daily4Jesus

Жыл бұрын

i can't agree more . They can literally push you to an early grave,

@detjaggillar8081

Жыл бұрын

@@Daily4Jesus Yes a covert narc can do that. But my ex covert narc died first ... for two weeks ago. I had discard him for a couple of years ago and I got NC - after 12 years of toxic relationship.

@xxxMixedGenreFavs

Жыл бұрын

Right. The covert ones are more venomous. Knowing is half the battle. When you know an overt, you can maneuver better around them. But with the covert you wouldn't know as they plot your demise.

@deanarjones9114

Жыл бұрын

@@kittykat632 just start from where you are. Somethings will never be the same, and that’s okay. It’s not always restoration, repair, rebuild. It can be starting from scratch, new construction, different paths, and new behaviors.

This made my blood run cold as I totally identified with this. I was the mother, the sacrificial lamb and scapegoat, I also recognise that I started to behave like the narcissist but only temporarily as he mirrored me to start with and then I mirrored him. I’m 101 days NC. Feeling stuck and need to know how to move on and heal. I blindsided and discarded him first. So now I’m giving him the ultimate silent treatment which is narcissistic in itself as that is what he did to me throughout the relationship. I’ve physically left the relationship but I haven’t left it emotionally. Got to kill the shared fantasy and individuate. Thank you Richard.

@christycomer373

8 ай бұрын

Ughhhhh me too

@staceystrukel1917

6 ай бұрын

It is NOT narcissistic to stop communicating with an abuser.

@Hustle.central

4 ай бұрын

Just deprive them

@Narc_Hunter

3 ай бұрын

You have to look at no contact, as the ultimate, ethical, counter narcissism. It makes you number one in your priorities again, and it sends the message to the narc in their own language, that you see their abusive, plausibly deniable, sadistic, shit clearly, and are sending them straight to narcissist jail (hell).

@Rumination_Vertex

3 ай бұрын

​@@staceystrukel1917Exactly! Enforcing boundaries is NOT narcissistic at all. Making you feel guilty is just one more tool they use to knock you off balance which is what they need to get you to react! They know that if you are a balanced, healthy individual then you're not going to be as easy to have your buttons pushed or get triggered or be manipulated. People shouldn't feel bad at all about this. I've had my scapegoat family use my guilt for being a bad kid against me until one day I realized that I was the ONLY one in the family to recognize his own bad behavior let alone apologize for it. Pay attention to how much you give in every element of your relationship and if the other people you're dealing with are not giving back in kind get rid of them asap! I know it sounds petty but it is necessary if you're a giver cause people will take advantage at every turn while you don't notice cause you're not a petty person! This shit is crazy!

Unfortunately, I have lived among so many narcissists in my life. Both parents, ex-husband, two daughters, and a sister; they all are malignant narcissists. And many relatives who are narcissists! If it was not for the Grace of God, I would be six feet under. I continue to heal, daily. It’s a lifetime commitment to live drama free and narcissist free. Only because of God, I’m alive and well today!❤ Thank You Jesus Christ! 💯🙏🏽♥️

@user-it3ce8rv1l

3 ай бұрын

It’s wild to read my life through your experience! Praise God that we are still alive, getting better, and will help others as we heal!❤ Blessing❤🙏🏽

@jaywatson6261

2 ай бұрын

@WeR1bodyNChrist - All the best to you. God is in control. Some of your content also resonates with me! The most frightening of all is that those personality types are also in the church!🙏🏾

@MI6-W

Ай бұрын

Matthew 10:34-39 NKJV Do not think that I came to bring peace on earth. I did not come to bring peace but a sword. For I have come to ‘set a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law’; and ‘a man’s enemies will be those of his own household.’ He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me. He who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for My sake will find it.

@irisrose4732

Ай бұрын

I relate on so many levels. I pretty much have very little family left in my life due to this, BUT I am very much enjoying my peace of mind, and the freedom and growth that I am experiencing. The healing journey has been long and arduous at times, but so worth it. I am learning to truly love myself at this point in life, the rest will follow naturally.

@loriandfaith

3 күн бұрын

Same! I am still breathing because of God only

Thankyou so so much Richard . I’m a clinical psychologist and have ended a brief marriage to a narc , the label clinical psych I threw in to show that this can happen to any of us . I had a particularly abusive childhood into adulthood and gravitate towards the familiar because that’s what my brain likes . No amount of education changes that , it can only happy through the body and creating new pathways in the brain . The info you went through is just brilliant and so grateful you share online , you’ve helped me so much far more than any one on one therapy I’ve had because unfortunately majority of therapists and psychs are not very well educated on narcissistic abuse and it’s prevalence

@yagushka

Жыл бұрын

❤

@oh2887

Жыл бұрын

You are right anyone can be affected by this no matter what we know on a professional level. And when in those relationships it is hard to stand back and selfreflect because the copious drama that the NPD causes means that there is no space to self reflect. Thank you for saying that as I could put into pratice with service users what I am trained to do ( CBT) but yet was not "practising what I preach". I felt like I was living a lie, and I was. Anyhow I took a step back and did a different job for a while and worked through what childhood experiences left me open to an NPD relationship. And yes not enough professionals understand the dynamics. Richard Grannon and Sam Vakin are pioneers . 💖

@HahaT634

Жыл бұрын

Thank you Catherine for sharing your experience. People who say choose a better partner next time or you should have in the first place are the most clueless. Narc/BPD usually target well educated, resilient partners. I went to see my family doctor, while she was going through my meds , I told her I have had a DV incident and going through divorce, first question she asked was ‘ is he a Narc? I was shocked, I asked her how do you know she said she was married to one. 😢and he nearly destroyed her career. Btw I am training to be a doctor too. So I totally agree that anyone can be a victim of narc abuse, the higher you climb, the more vulnerable you are.

@monikamona6844

Жыл бұрын

Catherine what could you recommend for creating new pathways in the brain? Since I've become aware of the dynamic of narcissist games I can seen through them but still I get caught and feel traumatized.

@JB48632pointfour

Жыл бұрын

@@monikamona6844 exercise (cardio) has shown to increase the amounts of BDNF which is what increases grey matter in the brain.

Richard, you're saving and rescuing good people from anguish, mental and emotional stagnation, grief, and spirit-death. Thank you for all that you do. Thank you for every video, every word, every logical outline, every explanation, and every moment of what you do.

@bonnsterthemonster

8 ай бұрын

That's not including when he poops, right?

@kerethajackson2435

8 ай бұрын

You're right 💯 Sir . Thanks, and God bless you always ❤❤❤❤❤❤

@lgd4247

8 ай бұрын

Yes, spirit death.

I agree with all of this!! Ugh! 😖 I’m in a state of constant confusion between hating him and wanting revenge and then empathizing with him and hope nothing bad happens to him… He really messed me up, but I know now how deep this toxicity runs in myself. I’ve grown up with a highly covert Narcissistic mother who made me an anxious codependent yearning for love and closeness. He brought out all the wounds from my childhood while cutting even deeper wounds into me, to then leave me used and broken. I really wish that I could allow myself to hate him for all the hurt he knowingly caused

@jenynz5334

6 ай бұрын

I can fully relate, but at this point, the hate is uncovered. But I am unfortunately stuck in the same place, so wish me luck!

@aniqabano1582

6 ай бұрын

Forgive him for the sake of God and move on. Tge uktimate healer will heal your soul and that's the reward you need. All the best wishes for you

@HereticDBD

6 ай бұрын

I do this exact cycle every day. The whole range, this is torture. I pray you are doing well. 😢

@finsen215

5 ай бұрын

Just rewatched the video three months after writing that comment. I’m doing better. Thinking of him less and less, but there’s def days where the matrix is still very strong! I’m happy that I went NC and blocked him back then. That has been the rule I promised myself not to break. The dual Mothership and especially the part about worrying about him like a mother would, is spot on and the thing thats still difficult to let go of. Give yourselves time to heal and know that you’re strong and resilient! ❤ These “relationships” are so far from normal.

@jenynz5334

5 ай бұрын

@@finsen215 So glad you're doing better ☺️

My wife, divorcing, has serious mother issues and this is making crazy sense. Praise God for delivering me from this ridiculous oppression.

What you describe about the target being viewed as the mother so the narcissist can individuate is precisely what I experienced. I had not been able to put into words this experience, but hearing this now, I feel validated. Thank you.

@MrSamadolfo

11 ай бұрын

Confirmed here as well, but as a dude I call it being her Father Figure, which is why its much harder to let go. Im also a Father as to my Son as well.

@kimberlyestes3978

9 ай бұрын

My narcissistic husband fits the description so well. When he lies and I know, he looks like a little boy who has been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. If we were in an “argument “, he would mock me. I knew that I didn’t sound like that. Finally realized that he was imitating his mother. Same tone of voice. Same cadence in speaking. Very strange experience. Very scary. Very sad.

"It's because I couldn't stand abandoning her. I couldn't deal with the guilt." So spot on! Oh! all the stories we've told ourselves to keep a distance between ourselves and the guilt which, for some of us, is a direct ticket to shame. Thanks.

@luper432

Жыл бұрын

YOU PEOPLE REALIZE WHAT THE FUCK THIS IS... LITTERELY YOU BE CHEWED UP AND THE SPITTED OUT. IT IS ASSIMILATATION BY BORG. HOW IS THE HUMAN PROGRAMED TO DO SUCH A THING TO ANOTHER. SOUNDS. N O T OF T H I S W O RL D

@luper432

Жыл бұрын

Better start watching STAR TREK. then you figure all out.

@kevinbissinger

Жыл бұрын

ugh, this just reminded me how many times she used to threaten suicide whenever I started getting strong enough to leave...

@OkieDokie-ft5pm

5 ай бұрын

@@kevinbissinger That reminds me of that Pearl Jam lyric "Push Me/Pull Me" from their last album of their classic 1990s era, 'Yield'. An ironic album title because that's where I nearly co-destroyed myself with the narcissist, by YIELDING too much. I'm not just talking about romantic stuff, that's one thing. I'm talking about family of origin nonsense I was still ingesting BEFORE I finally went NO CONTACT with my 3 EX-SIBLINGS. Despite moving from DC to AZ, after too many times from a rather to semi-open SMEAR CAMPAIGN, they were crucifying me, basically. I initially moved out here for the few better women as a then 27-year old dude. And I got that totally! But as a 50-year guy, I am SO GLAD to be 2300 miles away just for the sake of not ever having to be within psychical proximity of those bullying back stabbers. (who have been cyber stalking me for years, by the way. Phone hacking me like the little proverbial BITCHES they are! The women aren't the only one who are the "SHORTIES" here in this case! I had to take a shot!!. PS If you are one of those "I am a BITCH and PROUD OF IT" neo feminist types, I'm so glad that you're some other dude's PROBLEM and not mine! (I fortunately never chose to date a FemiNAZI... But my sister and mother are covert ones, NOT TO MENTION rather OVERT NARCISSISTS at times and I can't stand them!)

@OkieDokie-ft5pm

5 ай бұрын

This is exactly how I felt when I struggled to keep a relationship PERMANENTLY ENDED with a woman who was horrible for me in the last decade. I used to justify it with my ego that was "only in it for the sex" and that I was "getting laid!" BUT SHE WAS JUST USING ME FOR DRUGS/MONEY (if I'm honest with myself.) YET my heart of heart knew something was amiss! I USED TO GET HER BEST AND NOW I WAS ONLY GETTING THE REST BASICALLY. It's tough to admit to myself that I settled for someone who is just evidently transparently using me as a virtual beta provider boy. Like yourself, I kept myself in the "I don't want to abandon her" TRAP. So I as well as you hear have to agree with Richard as much as I hate referring to myself as a co-symbiotic mother or whatever. At the end of the day, only I could end things. The next time she shows up at my place unannounced (have not talked to her in like half a year), I have to RESPECT MYSELF and not even answer the FUCKING door

Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.

@patriaciasmith3499

5 ай бұрын

Does anyone know any good source to get them? I put so much on my plate and it definitely affects my stress and anxiety levels, would love to give shrooms a try.

@APOLLINAIREBARTHOLOMIEU

5 ай бұрын

Yes, dr.sporesss

@patriaciasmith3499

5 ай бұрын

Is he on instagram?

@APOLLINAIREBARTHOLOMIEU

5 ай бұрын

Yes he is. dr.sporesss

@twinfred3160

5 ай бұрын

DMT was definitely the best trip I ever had. It was amazing!

I’m Currently in the discard stage of my narcissistic marriage to my husband and I’m so happy that I am smart enough to watch these videos and educate myself enough to not take his horrible treatment to me personally and get out of this marriage asap. It’s truly absolute insanity and watching you tube videos about narcissism is what I do to stay focused on my future without him and I feel so sorry for the people who had to endure narcissistic abuse before digital era and inability to research and learn to understand what they were dealing with . I think this model Is very accurate.

@redonionsyummy

3 ай бұрын

How are you doing post divorce?

"A mother abandoning a child" hit the nail on the head. I had a dream about him once that I broke up with him, then he shrank into a 5 year old, and I had to explain it to him all over again. I was in a relationship with this grandiose narcissist for over 2 years, and finally left after I saw what it was doing to our kids. Now, I've attracted 2 vulnerable narcissists. The first one, I didn't know it existed until I finally told a friend what was happening. This last one, I just broke up with him a week ago after just 6 months. It was like after month 4, everything changed, and my nervous system noticed before I did. Then, when I brought up an issue, he became a child. He wanted to sweep it under the rug instead of having a resolution, which I cannot compromise ever again. Any way, thank you for your videos. I understand so much more when you draw everything out. I just need to figure out how to stop attracting men like this.

@mrichards7849

9 ай бұрын

It’s not so much that you are attracting them, it’s more they are exploiting your weaknesses and vulnerabilities because that’s what they do. If you can learn to be tougher, they may stop trying. I’m in the same boat.

@bonnsterthemonster

8 ай бұрын

Sympathetic waves.

@Jomarcor1982

8 ай бұрын

I had to check the authorship of this comment because I thought I forgot having written this. It’s absolutely mind blowing to see that your experience is exactly the same I have lived. I hope you are ok right now. I send you all my positive vibes from Spain. You are not alone.

@englishmadcow7461

8 ай бұрын

So many narcs online especially dating sites. Many are married n need a new source. But I know my boundaries n will not compromise. It's saved me from a lot of further trauma. I live a happy content n proactive life now I've put the past to bed n forgiven my ex husband for my benefit. I don't care about him any more but I still mourn the loss, which I see as my brain telling me to not forget or repeat the destructive cycle he caused. I loved him completely and at 55 with poor health that I believe he exacerbated cos of the damage n upset, I doubt I'll love again. But have to have hope that I might 😀

Not weird at all if you understand spiritual warfare!! Best video on understanding the process of narcissistic abuse I’ve ever heard!! 🎉

@dustersinternational221

11 ай бұрын

Yes, weird it popped up. I recall on my nights and years of healing to understand was unanswerable. But I do remember my Tower Moment and being reborn, like a Phonix rising from the ashes🔥

@Shelah-zb3yo

11 ай бұрын

Lord knows trying translate.. Spiritual warfare is a Battle for the mind🙏

@She-Ra-db7eg

9 ай бұрын

What do you mean?

@CeebarSuzy

6 ай бұрын

Yep! Spiritual warfare 100%! End goal, you can have the Lord or someones who want to be your lords in the flesh; the someones sneaking around seeking who they can destroy.

Oh Lord when he said enter my place to be sacrificed to Moloch … wow. This is the truth. Thank you for showing me the spiritual truth behind this abuse I survived. I knew it was satanic but didnt realize how twisted and contorted of a reality I was in. I praise God for deliverance and healing. It took Christ himself to free me from a 17 yr marriage with this demonic oppressor.

@deirdremorris9234

2 ай бұрын

It surely is demonic.

This is very good. Feeling responsible - I would say to others “you can’t just throw people away”. That phase of not existing- I would say to him “you want my life without me in it” so basically wanted everything that I provided for him and everything I have without having to be around me, participate in the relationship, dismiss anything I needed or wanted or cares about and turned those thing into something wrong with me or me being controlling. He would say “you shouldn’t give me things and expect something back, you do things because you love me” it was mind boggling. But I knew it was him. That he was wrong. I didn’t know what a narcissist was, if I did I would have been gone then. I rationalized that we were just taught different, we just think different. But it’s all down hill from there. But this particularly explains the early interactions that was going on.

@inspiredbydior5447

8 ай бұрын

It's so crazy people like this exist! I didn't start doing narcissism study until mid 2021 and for 2 years I was able to connect the dots, but was in major denial! I didn't want to believe the person I thought was the love of my life for 12.5 years was really this evil. I made so many excuses and the more work and healing I began to do on myself, the more I realized I wasn't the problem. He started doing the work too and I thought we could make it even after all the betrayal...it would be good for a little while and then the same thing over and over. It exhausted me and I felt like a zombie and like I didn't know who I was. I began to need validation from him and he became my go to person. I gained weight and he told me I wasn't happy and I was confused and went along with it. I am now out of it and I haven't lost the weight I gained, but I am happy! I feel content in my skin and if I want to lose weight then I will, but it doesn't make me less valuable, even though he tried to make me feel that way. He always used to say "You expect people to treat you how you treat them" and said it as if it were a bad thing to expect to be cared for, loved and treated with respect by your partner. I now practice indifference and am focused on my own childhood trauma. I cry when I need to and feel every emotion. I embrace my good days and I crawl in bed on the bad ones. Each day it gets better. Blessings to anyone reading this. You are enough and you will leave when you are good and tired. Take the lesson from it and become the best version of YOU!

@poofurgone78

6 ай бұрын

It sounds like you are describing the long marriage I'm finally able to end. I feel devastated but living like this is just hell on earth.

@staceystrukel1917

6 ай бұрын

I used to say the same thing! That’s crazy how they make us all feel so similar.

Thank you so much. I wondered before why it felt so uncomfortable to leave narcissistic people. GUILT. Even though they are openly abusive to you, their victimhood and dependency make you feel guilty.

@emilykathleenn

Жыл бұрын

Definitely true and they are very dependant on us , yet they treat us like nothing at times and twist it around and say we need them!!!

@annaolausson6862

Жыл бұрын

Hmm lhbmo

@leahflower9924

11 ай бұрын

I didn't really actually deal with much victim complex from the narc maybe because they weren't covert they were some other variety but I had a hard time leaving because I was convinced I was so unworthy and also given that feeling like the world was fine until I came into it like if it rained or someone got hurt it was my fault kind of like OCD so I thought I didn't deserve to leave if that makes sense

@gaylaken

11 ай бұрын

Yes it does

@paulacol2142

3 ай бұрын

Love is gentle ,love is kind ,love is patience ,..love is compassionate ,love is understanding ,. love is empathetic,.love is faithfulness ,love is not lying , love is selflessness ,.. love is every thing a narssisst is not ,..at first you cant believe how charming and almost perfect they are, because they have mastered the art of copying empathetic people ,. But unfortunately the pretense can not last as it is unnatural,.. Once the mask has slipped it is off and will stay off ,this is their true self ,,there is no love there,.nothing ok they will never change ,after you leave ,you will be slandered they seek revenge ,.. please learn all you can about these evil creatures,,,i thank God above giveing me the strength,.to go into solitude for long time i studyed about narssisim ,.i got all narssistic family and so called friends out of my life ,surrounded myself with animals and nature and yoga and trauma therapy,..please be kind to yourselves you owe it to your self ,,and your mental and physical health is precious ,..I say to myself now Silence is golden ,,,im sending blessings of peace ,light ,and love ,and protection for all you brave souls ❤

Richard, thank you for this very clear explanation. Several months ago, you got through to me with your video “five steps to leave”. I’m 7 months NO contact after 10 years with malignant narc. Working with a trauma therapist. Broke the trauma bond. Let go of the guilt. I don’t care if the PARASITE is ok or not. Have become indifferent. He continues to hoover. My old fantasy of the perfect family is dead. You said this would be extremely difficult, and it has been. Healing is a slow process but I keep pushing through. Anyone out there who is still in a toxic relationship, YOU CAN LEAVE. Richard said it is a test of your will. Watch his video five steps to leave a narcissistic relationship. Watch it over and over again. It is beautiful on the other side!

@RICHARDGRANNON

Жыл бұрын

Glad to hear you are doing better, Thank you for watching 😎

@tp6299

Жыл бұрын

Thank you for your comment 🙏 Watching next!

@mmnde12

Жыл бұрын

Do you have kids with him? I’m separated for 7 months with small kids and it’s hard to set boundaries and not to worry myself sick about how my kids will grow up..

@lazycatdayz4ever905

Жыл бұрын

@@mmnde12 I don’t have kids from this last relationship. This ex boyfriend is truly pathologic, and he has been my wake up call. I have a pattern of choosing unhealthy partners. My ex-husband of 12 years is definitely on the spectrum, not diagnosed NPD. My kids with him are now 20 and 16 and they are wise. They can spot toxic behavior a mile away. They only see their father when they absolutely have to for holidays, and they gray rock him. Here’s my advice to you. Don’t try to coparent, parallel parent instead. Communicate with him only about essential issues regarding the children. Document your conversations in a journal. Document every incident that occurs. That really saved us when after being divorced nine years, he try to get custody of my younger child. Fell flat on his face since I had everything documented, even had recordings of his rages. And most importantly, remember to be the rock for your children. You are the safe place for them to land. When my kids would come home from their fathers, I would give them time to decompress then we would return to our routine. Our house is full of love and laughter. One strong parent can raise healthy children. Keep learning and watching Richard. Also Dr Ramani, The Little Shaman. Remember to stay out of the FOG (fear, obligation and guilt). Best of luck on your journey.

@jmashack1

Жыл бұрын

Congratulations and good for you. It is a slow process. The pain gets less as the healing continues. Number 1 rule for me, no matter what do not go back. It has been 1 year and 8 months.

Rich has saved my life through this ONE video! I’ve been seeking help for months and felt absolutely hopeless that I would ever recover from this. Even if I discovered this video in the throws of narcissistic abuse I would’ve turned a blind eye, that’s truly how powerful the colonization is 😕. But with the help of family and friends, I was able to take a giant leap and get out of there.

@karenpeatey6226

8 ай бұрын

Please let me know how they broke through - my father won’t leave I’m at end of my wits

I'm at the start of my journey of breaking away from a narc after 34 years. I feel so stupid for not seeing it sooner, but I'm grateful for people like you, who are helping people like me get free from this abuse. Everything you said makes perfect sense. I often said how being with him was like having an extra child, and in my coming to terms with it all, I have already experienced the feelings of abandoning him as a child. Thank you so much for making this information available. God bless you.

@CheryleZissulis

10 ай бұрын

I am also at the beginning of this journey . We can learn to heal together

@daniel_belongs_to_christ

9 ай бұрын

I spent 17 years with my wife and it took the Lord Himself to deliver me. Yet He has been healing me so quickly its been a miracle. I pray you heal and grow from this. You deserve freedom and happiness. The fact that you are done with the toxic cycle is a huge blessing. God bless you.

@theUmovement

8 ай бұрын

I hope you’ve found happiness and peace. ❤

@jenynz5334

6 ай бұрын

I'm now starting myself. I can't go NC, as much as I desperately want to.

@daniel_belongs_to_christ

6 ай бұрын

@@jenynz5334 what part of you wants to and what part doesn’t

This was fantastic. Left my ex-narc 2 months ago and I've been walking around recently in a daze, wondering what the hell happened. It was like when I was with her I had entered some kind of an alternate reality - I lost my self; everything I thought or did was related to her in some way. I became an extension of her. Talk about colonization. After I left her I would read books or watch videos and think "Oh, this would help her." or "She'd like to know about this." This has been slowly getting better, but there have been some painful backsliding. This model brings out what was going on in bold relief. Thank you so much for this!

@paulread4865

Жыл бұрын

Exactly my experience too. I wish you well.

@brittanyalonge

Жыл бұрын

Same. We got this!

@deehyatt5173

Жыл бұрын

I have not escaped yet.. but I had two months where he had left to ‘stay with a guy friend’ - Jan 1st 2022 - it was a female he had obviously been sleeping with well before he left me.. my mistake ? Letting him know I was feeling good, going to the gym, enjoying my family & friends.. because he ran back and I’ve been in a horrible battle with myself for him to leave for good. It is so hard when you think of them, just want to say something, share something.. and during that two months I was able to do that.. soon I won’t be able to. I am watching this video ten times and going to work on being stronger !! Positive vibes to you, hope everyone is safe and doing well.. 🦋✨🕊

@kristen9827

Жыл бұрын

Your statement is so very true, resonates with me so much. I became a shell of myself, didn’t understand my own actions anymore. It was like I was truly “infected” with his traumas, pain, anger, rage, contempt, jealousy and pain. I completely lost myself. Never again. What a mind f*ck

@foosmonkey

11 ай бұрын

“Oh this would help her see my point of view” “hey this is interesting, I should show it to her” Is met with “ugh! You’re reading *that* ? Why would you be reading that trash? You know that book was written by a (insert derogatory term here), right?”

I was married to two narcissists (for a total of 39 years). You have perfectly explained how I was crushed with guilt after escaping. I stayed alone 9 years and healed before meeting a good, normal male. Thanks.

@katyflame3668

Жыл бұрын

Best wishes!!

@priscillahelson700

6 ай бұрын

2 narcs 35 yrs

Omg! I’m still in the pod 😱 “that’s why you’re still watching you tube videos on narcissistic abuse” …now that was a wake up call.

@daniellestaley9432

6 ай бұрын

Me too

This was my life as a child, through adulthood, I am the oldest between me and my brother. She blamed me for everything that went wrong in her life, I knew from a child that something was wrong, when I asked Grandma, she said baby that 's just your Mother, but I love you. I miss my Grandma so much!❤😢

It's so hard to root this out and differentiate yourself from them when it occurs on such a deep subconscious level. In my experience, you have to learn to validate yourself internally and adopt the position that your own actions and values define who you are. You are your own unique person and are both good and bad independent of them in or out of that relationship. Gaslighting is such a powerful tool they use to undermine all of it and play on your lack of internal validation and paint you as that "incapable mother who failed them."

@TaintedLoveofaNarc

Жыл бұрын

Again nail on the head. It's all because of childhood trauma that we have to pay for.

@kennethsilvestri5874

Жыл бұрын

@@TaintedLoveofaNarc Oh yes, their own childhood trauma as well as our own. You tolerate and rationalize their abuse because it seems familiar, normal, and safe to you from childhood. Understanding the source of it all can help with healing and becoming that better version of yourself.

24 years of being groomed by a narcissist and it is it not easy to get past this but it is possible. I am aware now, I am doing the hard work dealing with MYSELF and my own issues so I don’t walk in unaware and unprepared to run away! You don’t even know it’s happening until you are in their cult and happily beating yourself up for them in no time flat. Recognize you deserve better. This isn’t about you and this isn’t your fault. Leave the narcissist to their own reality and work on being in yourself. Love yourself the best and the most. Hugs!

Brutal, but finally explains indepth what is going on in a narcissistic relationship. Thank you for this information and all of you and Sam's insight into this mental prison of a narcissistic relationship

I pray for everyone who has suffered from this. The depth of my pain from this has been excruciating. God is bringing me through a healing process through a lot of different things. But I still have a lot to go. But 100% it is working. It is just a gradual process, but God has made a tremendous difference in my life. He has brought me amazing loving people that are the most kind and gentle and intelligent people I have ever met. I swear I have never met people so kind in my life. It is so amazing how he has made people find me instead of me finding them. Look to God, he needs to heal you from this horrible excruciating pain. I care and I love you as my brother or sister in Christ. You are worthy and you are strong. Do not give up no matter what. ❤

@laurelnicholson6710

3 ай бұрын

Thank you this message gave me chills. I have also turned to God and to Jesus to heal from a traumatic relationship with a narcissist. I ask God why this happened to me and they have been most merciful in their response, and have reminded me in a good way that this healing will take time and I will always have a scar to serve as a reminder in future to stat away from dangerous people. I pray to Jesus to help me discern between who is dangerous and who is good, as unfortunately my previous partner seemed so good in the beginning that I now doubt my ability to know - though I know God will endow me with answers over time.

@deirdremorris9234

2 ай бұрын

​@@laurelnicholson6710I hope and pray you become more and more powerful in your discernment, love, forgiveness.

This makes so much sense. Ironically, the (covert) narcissist is my mother. We even used to joke that I was her mom since I took such good care of her. Makes me feel sick knowing all of this. I'm currently in the middle of trying to break away.

@SilvijaKatarina

Жыл бұрын

Same here. It was completely rude awakening, but I know deep inside this was/is last episode.

@CarolynCreed

Жыл бұрын

Same here. When I finally set a boundary and said No for the first time ever to her, I literally thought I was killing my own child. So messed up. But 3 months now no contact and I’ve never felt lighter. Wishing you well as you break free from your chains and learn how to give yourself the true love you never got. 💞🌟

@natiagogichaishvili3556

Жыл бұрын

Same. I even joked that he had some characteristics of my father. Now I'm getting that him AND my father are both covert narcs. And I'm dealing with the guilt about both of them AND abadonement from them because, well... )) Talk about being messed up )) But it's getting better. And this video helped to clear a lot of things up.

@linhuang5267

Жыл бұрын

My narc father used me as his “mother” since I was a teen. He asked me to praise him when he thought he did a good job. I still vividly remember the strong nausea I felt in those moments as a teen.

@Sophiedorian0535

Жыл бұрын

Same here. Now that my mother has died, my father has taken to calling me by her name. I have already donned my parachute. I’ll be bailing out, soon.

Raised by a truly narcissistic mother who I divorced on the advice of a psychologist. Sadly I seem to attract narcissist into my life as an empath like my dad. Getting better at recognizing them now and taking my energy back. Thankyou for this video.

@sharonrosesullivan1192

Жыл бұрын

Me too. I’m learning early boundaries are key in weeding them out!

The "mother" thing hit me like a lightning bolt! I've been watching videos like this for about a month because I'm breaking off with my ex and your video cut into the truth of the matter better than anything I've seen. The "mutual fantasy" thing is also spot on.

@aniqabano1582

6 ай бұрын

I recommend you watch Sam Vaknin's video of shared fantasy and life cycle of narcissistic relationship

@katmariemichellereiner2708

5 ай бұрын

I am going through that and there is a child of there's that I have taken care of for 5 years that is autistic and the only reason I am steal around cause she panics when I try to leave. So a 3rd party included I am not playing his game any more. They are being more thoughtful and chamging.. We are like a family already. Therefore, I am stuck. I did that with my x husband who died. He was more than that . He was also a Sociopath and I still have that.

@katmariemichellereiner2708

5 ай бұрын

I am understanding.

@katmariemichellereiner2708

5 ай бұрын

I have bern trying to be a new person.

@katmariemichellereiner2708

5 ай бұрын

I have been trying for the last year. But also and going through grieving loss,to death at the same time . I am up and then go back down. And just see no light and just call it another day.

We discuss narcissists and recovery all thr time. But we never discuss our own part in the abuse. We all have reasons within ourselves that allow abuse, and then blame others for doing their thing. We need time to heal from nearly EVERY lost relationship/friendship not just narcissists.

@inspiredbydior5447

8 ай бұрын

You are so correct! It's our own internal struggles that we allow these people to stay in our lives. Sometimes we don't see the red flags, but most of the time we do and make excuses. I realize the back and forth and instability became my normal...it's because that's exactly how my childhood was; very unstable and inconsistent in many ways. I went to about 11 elementary schools and I remember having some really tough days and nights of crying because my Mom left me by myself in a dark basement. Wow smh but I am 38 years old and I'm discovering why I've done the things I've done and working on healing for sure. I have a lot of great qualities and overall, I turned out to be a decent human being...just a few scars along the way. It really does start with us and once we can come to terms with that, that's when the game changes.

@ThePossumone

6 ай бұрын

Yes and recognise we became unsafe for ourselves we walk out on ourselves - we have to forgive them and forgive ourselves and keep moving forward

@maxsheerin8219

6 ай бұрын

@@ThePossumone so did they usually. We all have a story no matter what diagnosis. I think they seem to do better at life than us.

Ye must be born again not of the flesh but of the spirit ❤❤

This made me cry for all that gets lost and harmed in these terrible relationships. Thank you, Richard, for your intelligent, articulate, compassionate explanation of the turmoil, and for making Vaknin's ideas so accessible.

I felt like a bystander in my own life, powerless in making my own decisions. I craved structure yet was bound to the comfort of his chaos.

Wow. I feel that the hundreds of hours I have invested in studying and understanding narcissism were all preparation for me to receive this information. It all makes sense to me now, but if it had been the first video I had watched on the subject, I don't think I would have accepted or understood it. It appeared at just the right moment. Thank you so much for these invaluable insights. They won't have been wasted or lost on me. Somehow I know that they will bear fruit. Thank you...

Yes! In my experience, entering the narcissistic "reality" tunnel entrains one to argue with and reject reality. You are entrained to embody a false reality and must grow out of it to recover. Excruciating.

@rolandgervais154

Жыл бұрын

Near the end, when she realized she could no longer control me she said to me, "We are not in the same reality, we are not on the same page!" I knew nothing about "N"s until about a year after I left my 20 year relationship.

@e.m.4866

Жыл бұрын

@@rolandgervais154 Yes; and we know what happens when we stop reading our lines from the desired page: banished from the set (or we "simply" flee).

@kennethsilvestri5874

Жыл бұрын

Spot on, they construct an abusive reality that makes you reliant on them for validation where you do anything they want to get the nice person and the affection back as well as the peace and calm. You have construct your own reality, inner peace, validation and calm to heal from the narcissistic. Accept it, learn from it, and even be grateful for how it shaped you into a better person and more in tune with yourself.

Very Helpful, thank you. Just got discarded by my fiancé and she monkey branched to her "male best friend." I went from being the best thing that ever happened to her to not wanting to see or talk to me. So disorienting but getting better every day!! Of course she denies it all and I'm the crazy one.

I have only one word for this video - WOW.

DUDE WHY ARE YOU THE ONLY ONE WHO UNDERSTANDS THIS ON THE INTERNET!!!!

This makes a lot of sense.But when the incredibly painful process ( death of the relationship) is over, why do they so often go off and find someone else almost straight away and carry on as if nothing happened? Ive seen this not just with my ex but with others too. Not only that, but their lives seem so abundant and happy. Makes healing from it so much harder.

@EMichaelBall

Ай бұрын

You asked, so here’s the answer: From a red pill perspective, it’s far easier for a man to find a new woman than it is for a woman to find a new man, mainly because men tend to look for younger women as younger women tend to look for older men. It’s also very common for a woman to feel envy or jealousy over the ex being so fast to a new relationship, regardless of who caused the prior breakup.

Took me about 5 years to get THROUGH the last narc relationship, with a lot of Spartan videos and now Richard Grannon.....plus many others, self study and reflection. THANK YOU Richard I finally can breathe and enjoy life, now at age 62. Blessings dear heart and everyone whom is on their path to truth and freedom. 💞 Individuate, YES, that describes the metamorphosis completely.

I did everything in my marriage to a narcissist. Absolutely everything. The ex-wife just went to work and came home. I cooked, took the kids to school, picked them up, took them to after school activities, took them out at weekends, everything, everything, everything. I never had any time out. We rarely did anything as a family. I was so chronically stressed. I am 3 years out now and so calm and collected. I've done a lot of healing work. I have got back into watching Richard Grannon videos again and also started watching Sam Vaknin videos this last week. It seems I wasn't mentally ready to listen to either teachings before but now I am 100% in. I understand what it is they are trying to teach. I think previously I just need to understand narcissistic behaviours and relate to that. Now I am ready to learn the why and wherefores for it all to make sense. It took a while but I got there in the end. Raised by a narcissist father and then married a narcissist wife. 47 years of narcissistic abuse takes a lot of learning and unlearning.

@peggynarcsuvivor9073

7 ай бұрын

I can relate 45 yrs did it all w my kids schooling lessons n never expected as he wanted me home so I tried to be grateful for his sacrifice to provide. Now he filed over 5 yrs ago n dragging divorce its a nightmare n of course alienated some of my kids with lies. What a piece of work.

Oh wow. This was the most accurate lecture I have ever heard. It hit me so hard. I literally just suffered through this

This sounds like a really valuable course and an eye-opening perspective. This model helps explain why so many people who escape narcissistically abusive relationships keep asking the question, am I the narcissist? Realizing how reactive my behavior had become as a result of merging with this other person is one of the most humbling experiences I've had. The metaphor of rebirth is completely appropriate. After coming to terms with the fact that I had been in 68 years of narcissistic relationships of various flavors from birth to old age, it was quite the eye opener to realize everything I had learned subconsciously about relating to other people was dysfunctional and unhealthy in the extreme. The individuation process can mean reinventing yourself around the scraps of core identity that you manage to heal. If you are a serial participant, the matrix pod and combined fantasy can include all of those previous abusers. It's a lot to heal from. I have likened myself to a double amputee. The emotional and psychological wounds have done deep damage and disabled me in some respects. Becoming healthy involves finding workarounds, and coping prosthetics that allow me to be functional again. But neuroplasticity has its limits. I have no delusions about growing my arms back.

@katiewarren443

Жыл бұрын

Beautifully put friend 🙏

@dawnkikong637

Жыл бұрын

Who, in your experience, is the best type of partner for you? Another CPTSD (wounded) warrior, a "normal" (relatively non-dysfunctional/non neuro-divergent), celibacy?

@dianadiehl

Жыл бұрын

@@dawnkikong637 I don't think in those terms. I don't pre-categorize people. I am more interested in empathy, kindness, tolerance, consideration, respectfulness, healthy boundaries, and similar qualities. Neurodivergence or past history of trauma are somewhat separate. On the other hand, I am acutely aware that people who have never had abuse or trauma in their life to any significant degree are less likely to understand the severity with which it impacts our lives. When that is significant is when they don't seem to demonstrate empathy or understanding. So one may affect the other, but I don't put them on a checklist.

@1Wendy_Woo

Жыл бұрын

@@dawnkikong637 ~ Very interesting and valid questions. Personally I have been celibate for the past (almost) 7 years. While married. He just stopped. Had ed issues and figured I would be fine without sex ever again. (?) Who knows?! However, I did find a couple dic pics on his phone. He never had an answer as to why. So, I guesstimate he was seeking elsewhere. Certainly had nothing to do with me anymore. I laughed just this morning. I actually had a sexdream last night. It was very real. I was excited for about as long as the guy lasted. (seconds) 🤣 Thought to myself: WHY?! WHY would I ever want another man? Clean and cook for him, then have absolutely unfulfilled sex with him. That's a big HELL NO! I am NOT interested in teaching anyone Anything, or enduring mood swings, drama, and disappointment, or deception, ever again. I am already enough to handle. 😉 At 57 it looks like celibacy it is. Not interested in the viagra type either. 😅

@seriouscat2231

Жыл бұрын

Having studied these things for a decade now I see this model is a quite good summary, though the individual parts were not new to me. The real challenge is to know what mental health and sanity is made of. And I don't think any of these KZread coaches and therapists get it right, so they usually have two wrong answers. One is some kind of mythical "true self" that will appear once the narcissist is gone. Another is some kind of mythical "community" that will make you into your true self.

That's exactly how my life was with my Ex narcissistic husband. I had codependency and psychological problems and I'm still traumatized to this day.

My relationship with this narcissistic women just ended today and her last words before leaving with another guy(of course) were,."I had you on a pedestal"... Great video!

You do explain this so well! I have been with this person for 42 years. He was gone for 3 months helping his parents move. By myself for the first time to see that it was not me😆so many signs over the past 2 years. Struggling to leave him after this long of a relationship. I am the “bad guy” of course. I started taking care of myself and woke up to this crazy dysfunctional marriage🤷🏻‍♀️time to move on and be free!

Still healing 32 years ,I left , at the end I was punched in the face a few times , I can't believe someone can be so mean , very painful to take 😭

Every-single-sentence applies to me and my story. I know the theory, I've been reading and watching lectures on this topic for almost 3 years now and still cannot get them (the narcissists whom I had merged with) out of my head. Yes, definitely it"s a form of colonization. The anxiety and coming back to the square one is awful. I'm determined to break free .No way I'm spending the rest of my life with these ticks stuck in my mind.

@dianadiehl

Жыл бұрын

Ticks! What a great visual metaphor. Blood sucking mental parasites draining our time and energy.

@superdeeptom

Жыл бұрын

I feel all of this. It feels like every direction is toxicity and every natural inclination a landmine:((

@monikamona6844

Жыл бұрын

I see you. Though I recognize the pattern now, still it affects me greatly. I'm glad I made some steps out of that mud thanks to Richard Grannon sharing on yt and Dr Ramani but on an emotional level, it goes so deep. There must be a way to heal completely.🤔

@jmashack1

Жыл бұрын

It takes time but it does get better. I had to really emerge myself in watching videos such as this to understand what the relationship really was about and what happened to me as well as why he did what he did. It has been 1 year and 8 months and some days I don't think about him or the abandonment that he did to me and his son. I've noticed that the more times go by the less I think of him during the day each day. Because of that I truly believe that there will come a day when he will no longer be on my mind at all. The greatest thing I did was I didn't go back and I am so indifferent as to what happens to him or what's going on in his life. I really don't give a damn

@b.blue111

Жыл бұрын

@@janetgd I'm happy you have chosen well and managed to free yourself. As for this meditation, is there a particular video that you recommend?

the instability aligns with the struggle between believing what you believe or believing the false reality.

Dynamic of childhood trauma (both desperately wanting to be seen, be loved in a safe way). This made so much sense. Thank you for your clear guidance.

Love you Richard. I’ve followed you for years, your content is a godsend. I remember you doubting your future with the channel, but I just wanna say that you sticking it out is saving lives and waking people up. We need to heal, and you’re here for us ❤

@RICHARDGRANNON

Жыл бұрын

Thank you for your kind words and for watching 😎

@deborahguest1184

Жыл бұрын

Please help me stop checking on him ie peeking he's blocked but I can't stop am obsessed even his ex wife said he's a serial cheat liar etc

@bigol7169

Жыл бұрын

@@deborahguest1184 what helps me: Before stalking your ex, take a deep, slow breath, and simply ask yourself ‘is this going to make me feel better or worse?’ Suddenly you’ll feel no incentive to search anymore

@annastyles6217

Жыл бұрын

@@RICHARDGRANNON How to GO AWAY FOREVER from my BIO SATANIC NEPOTISTIC GLOBALISTIC CAPITALISTIC FAMILY WHO ARE THE SECRET NARSISTIC PSYCHOPATIC RULLING ELITES from my COUNTRY????Please help me😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭All COUNTRY HATE ME....

@deehyatt5173

Жыл бұрын

@@deborahguest1184 - this is so me !! As the wonderful lady responded to you .. stop and think before.. My therapist said please write down what you think you’ll find .. It’s so so so hard.. I have found EIGHT WOMEN .. in least then two years. It’s sickening. I’m not even out of this shitshow yet.. it’s four years over due 😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢 I have to call a friend or come watch a video so I don’t check anymore ❤

Spiritual growth and spiritual ascension helps become you own person again 🧘🏻‍♀

All of this makes so much sense. Add to the anguish of abandoning him, that he had cancer and I had to abandon him to save myself. During the discard of me, his wrath was all about his mother, not me. All the name calling and abuse was describing her. I was used as the scapegoat to his ultimate estrangement from her. It’s surreal how all this is coming together now, after years since breaking up with him. This is so interesting to learn. Thank you

@daniellestaley9432

6 ай бұрын

Wondering was it colon cancer? The ex narc I dated had the same - twice in fact. The first time after his ex-wife asked for a divorce; he was given a clean bill of health two years later the month of our first year anniversary. He was diagnosed with stage three two months later after I broke up with him. Coincidence ? I think not.

Dual Mothership points make sense. Intensified guilt when it’s the child abandoning the mother. Tying this in with Dr. Adam’s work on MEM (mother enmeshed men). Finally, and I mean finally, NPD, BPD, and HPD women aren’t as attractive to me as they used to be. Getting better ODAT. Thanks Richard. You and Sam have been a key part to me emerging as my authentic healthy adult self. I can now take care of my inner children. The can finally be children, not pretend adults, and I can be their responsible, safe, and protective parent. Finally integrating.

This is amazing. Thank you. I'm 5 months into the throws of the most cruel discard, filled with chronic dehumanisation, gaslighting, silent treatment and blame-shifting. (Suspected communal narcissist) I've never experienced so much pain or isolation in my life and my insomnia (new development) has slowly trickled into severe stress, anxiety, depression and PTSD according to my therapist Having lost my job to Covid, I went back to grad school and so am currently completely financially dependent on my partner... and so feeling entrapped and utterly paralysed. It's horrendous. I've watched hundreds of videos over the last year (incredible ressource) but this one really really gives a clear explanation and path for healing. Currently about halfway through the Tamie M course but will join you when this first phase of healing is completed. Thank you!

@dantesbegins

Жыл бұрын

I went through something very similar this year Sakura. I wish you all the best in your healing.

@sportsman4545

Жыл бұрын

Yes, night time can be the worse because you've been busy all day. Your head hits the pillow and wham, you're trying to solve it and make sense of it all. For me, I started to write a novel in my mind instead of remuneration. Just kept rewriting the first chapter in my mind until I got it perfectly right. Had nothing to do with my trauma, it was a love story novel. It worked great for me. I was uncontrollably crying 3 hours a night for 12 months before I came across this piece of advice.

@sakuraayurveda5559

Жыл бұрын

Thanks @@dantesbegins. What got you through it? Any tips?

@sakuraayurveda5559

Жыл бұрын

Wow @@sportsman4545, that's amazing. Thanks so much for the tip. I find writing both soothing and overwhelming. I keep writing the story in my head and long to get it down on paper... but then go through days/weeks of avoiding my journal. Thanks so much again for the tip!!! Good luck with your journey

@spamela357

Жыл бұрын

I understand what you mean by dehumanization. I was dehumanized and everyone cheered on my evil, vile, dispicable ex-husband and the cruelty he inflicted on me. I have withdrawn from society because it is very cruel. I do not think I can ever recover. The cruelty, the intensity of his attacks, and everyone just cheered him on. Right now I am only alive because my pets are with me, and we take care of each other.

I have not ever experienced thos before my last relationship. Horrific. A narc and a sociopath. Think im finally out amd free. But this helps me understand the dynamic. True. He kept coming back and I took him back because of the mother abandonment. It's been over a year and it's a day at a time. He has caused so much damage that he made me look like the bad guy to everyone after we broke up. Friends fam neighbors see ME and then the other way. Continual abuse. Hate it. You are a big help. Thank u

You’ve just saved my life, dear Mr. Wizard! I can’t be thankful enough

Thank you for translating Sam. I'd like to add that by using us as a scapegoat, they are peojecting their repressed shame onto us and try to get rid of it that way. I really shudder to think what my narc will do when he looses the court case against me. Most likely he will have to decompensate.

I have been watching these narcissist videos from you and Sam since 2018. I have favorited and saved hundreds of them. This one is, by far, the best well-packaged explanation of what happened in my relationship and thank you so much for nailing it when you speak about the guilt and abandonment anxiety. I recall telling my ex after some of the discards that he made me feel like a baby that had been abandoned in a dumpster. I never had abandonment anxiety prior to this relationship; not ever. He infected me with it. I, too, also felt so guilty going no-contact and compelled to check on his whereabouts as I was sure he would die without me there to babysit his sobriety. It is both disturbing and a relief to know that this is normal.

@lindseylush

Жыл бұрын

Honestly I find it incredibly disturbing. The fact that we don’t realize what’s happening while we are in it, and that we need to protect ourselves from being infected.

@michellefucoff4631

Жыл бұрын

​@@lindseylush😢

@almohvn33

Жыл бұрын

Thank you for sharing.. WOW!

@ATeitter

11 ай бұрын

@@lindseylush I was totally insane when I think back on it. Im totally sober now and doing Medical Medium protocol from Brain Saver. There are recipes and formulas to heal from trauma, betrayal and relationship break ups in the protocols book and they work amazingly! I am sleeping well for the first time in my life at 48! Never thought I would see the day. I might be dead without Medical Medium protocol. I've joined so many programs but I'm too hyper-vigilant to participate in them. My ex did so much financial damage that i have to make money around the clock to stay on top of my debt. This is very anxiety-provoking and reminds me of my mistakes every day but I am 1000Xs better now that I am healthy, sober and sleeping

You are very right this is the next layer, a deeper core to healing. It’s been two years and when I leave my house , new house ,new car when I leave to go out I feel like I’m going to get in trouble I feel like he’s going to show up and tell me where are you going?😂 and I tell my mind dude relax. It’s this feeling of being supervised. “You are a free human being belong to no one, but to God and to yourself. This is how I reframe my mind.”

yes, my mind was definitely colonised

my mom Narcissist, my whole family Narcissist, I am their scapegoat, I need cut off all those demons to heal

@healing-for-all5349

Жыл бұрын

Just do it!! There’s other family out there! :)

This is fascinating and makes so much sense. I'd like to think I'm over them, but like you said, I'm still here, watching these videos. Though not as much. I have been breaking away from the narcissistic information feed because I realize it brings them up more in my mind and I need to put other stuff in my mind and get back to life. I have an entire person to work on and rebuild. Gotta stop dragging around a smelly, rotten old corpse in my mind. This is really good. Thank you Richard.

OMG!!! WOW! I get it! That makes SO MUCH SENSE! What I didn't realize until now is that I've already started on this path to healing without knowing it. I've felt guilty for not feeling guilty, not caring. They've made their bed. Let them lie in it! Their choices and the consequences are not my problem. And... When I was moving out, I only had time to take what was necessary to live. I had to leave behind various aspects of my old life- represented by specific items (a piano keyboard and music, prized cook books and my favorite recipes, all my fabric most of my notions and sewing supplies, etc). But I have the sewing machines - and all My skills to build my new life. And one of the things I said was, " Behold, old things are passed away. All has become new". This, I now know, is good! It was hard to do at first. But looking back. I'm free!!!

I accept this model. One of the things that I became aware of was the risk of taking on his narcissistic behaviour and I didn’t want to go there. He was warm and loving only until we got married. He is naturally a very indifferent cold person. I realized later that there was never any real connection. I was 19 when we got married. We have been married 50 years. About 4 years ago I made a casual comment about something unrelated to us at all. I can’t even recall what I said but I know it was innocuous. He went into arguing mode and I backed up what I thought with my rationale and I knew he was just trying to back me down. So I looked at him and calmly said “I’m not backing down.” Well, he lost it. He went into a total rage and his pupils constricted and then expanded and were not round but hourglass shaped. Medically, this is not possible. It was horrible to see and shocking. And he screamed his hatred! For me it shattered any belief or trust in him. Completely. I started reviewing our life together with this lens and realized it was the most truthful thing he ever said to me. It fit! He was devastated initially but then consoled himself by denial and minimization. Pretty amazing to observe. I was shattered! It took me a couple of years to regather but the configuration is very different. I am thinking of requiring him to move to the house he inherited from his mother and renovated, and selling this home and getting something more manageable for a single woman. I’m done! I’m a Catholic. I don’t believe in divorce but I think soul murder is good reason to separate.

Just…unbelievably…wow. I cannot believe this has actually happened to me. This is an incredible explanation and helps in many ways. Thank you.

You did it! I finally understand why I began such narcissistic tendencies when I married my ex. It's hard looking back at what I did and said, and assimilating that into who I know myself to be. I've been divorced a year, and it's been nagging at me; why was it so easy for her to revert to her baseline, yet I'm struggling so much? Thank you, my unmet friend

@LilCaseyCupcake

Жыл бұрын

It was harder for you because you actually loved with all your heart!!! 👏 you will again too.. she never will

@louisegarner8888

Жыл бұрын

Facade management on the narc's part, it's not real ... look at that little duck's feet paddling hard beneath the surface ... 👀 Mathew 19:6 "So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” 1+1=1 equally yoked and well aligned 🗝 🙏💞⛪🔥🕊️ You became enmeshed, she stole parts of your soul and character traits and you gave yourself away. You need to see how her good, bad and spiritual versions weren't whole or vibrationally aligned with yours so she stole from your energy and degraded yours and >>you let her

@louisegarner8888

Жыл бұрын

And when you are back in the sadlle again ... invest then test to meet and match levels of reciprocity first! Know your worth! 💯💞👌

@stardust1593

Жыл бұрын

@@LilCaseyCupcake No his "love with all your heart" was in fact being engaged in a shared fantasy!

I went through this with my own mother! I was young and had no idea this wasnt normal. This is top class teaching! You can definitely relate to this spiritually . These people are "unconscious witches " . Spiritual sap that ingrains itself into your pysche. Takes a higher power to break off! " we wrestle not with flesh and blood, For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world. Ephesians 6: 12. These people operate in " ranks ". If we could see that, we could take them down more easily . This is why they attack our identity first by " gaslighting ". Richard, you are a gem. Absolutely groundbreaking teaching. You have a great gift. Thankyou.

@deirdremorris9234

2 ай бұрын

Hard to do if your loved one is trapped with one of these people.

@MI6-W

Ай бұрын

Matthew 10:34-39 NKJV Do not think that I came to bring peace on earth. I did not come to bring peace but a sword. For I have come to ‘set a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law’; and ‘a man’s enemies will be those of his own household.’ He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me. He who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for My sake will find it.

Thank you for this, it really opened my eyes to a part that I've been saying a lot lately - that in the end, you can't tell who the narcissist is anymore because of the behaviors and responses learned from this abuse. I have been incredibly down on myself, telling myself I should just accept that I am totally to blame and that I truly am the narcissist after all of these years... mainly because of who I've turned into in the end of it. Things I never would have once done are now shrouded over me as if I am those things that I've learned in retaliation. Knowing that I don't have to be stuck like this forever, and that I see my own faults and narcissism in the end, gives me hope that I am on the right path regardless of "who is the narcissist" at this point. I hate what I've become, because it's nothing like I've ever been and to easily see how (and constantly admit to myself) I've turned into the people/traits I despised and fought so hard against... devastates me. I haven't been able to stop crying over it, but thank you for giving me some sliver of hope.

@daniellestaley9432

6 ай бұрын

I feel you on this. I’ve been no contact with the ex narc for almost two years now. My healing trajectory was pretty good until a month a 1/2 ago when his daughter reached out to me under the guise of wanting to reconnect. Total trigger and threw me back into trauma mode as if things just happened yesterday and it’s been pretty awful. I had to really sit with myself and consider the behaviors that were coming up for me; I.e., being overly suspect of people’s actions vs. words, cutting people out of my life, taking on a victim role in many instances… I started to tell myself I was a narcissist. Looking back at my relationship w the narc, I believe on some level, this is true - I can honestly say I saw what was happening and went tit for tat - I took on his behaviors as my own looking to beat him at his own game (By the way, I discarded him as soon as the second devalue hit…) But then I re-assessed myself ... I don’t manipulate people for my own purposes, I am actually highly empathic , I can accept criticism and be introspective, and I most certainly take ownership when I have done someone wrong. The narc can do none of these things. So don’t be hard on yourself - the healing process after being involved is highly complex and difficult. If it wasn’t, you wouldn’t have some expert up here drawing a diagram of how the whole things works… I mean really insane right? And that is how they survive, so be glad you are out and know you are capable of more on your own than you could have ever been with narco.

@ThePossumone

6 ай бұрын

Same - you can be healed and forgiven and released from that too Forgive yourself Ask God for forgiveness Be free of guilt and shame

I can confirm experiencing that abandonment anxiety and - curiously - equally, if not more painful, in spite of being the one who was discarded, that abandonment guilt as well. I was fortunate enough to have a healer rewrite my DNA. There was no other way to heal than to become brand new, be born again, do a complete restructuring without the narc. That was done for me in April. It took me until today, this very day, to delete his contact numbers from my phone. I did have him blocked, but I couldn't get myself to delete him as a part of me thought I might unblock him again at some point out of a false sense of responsibility. During meditation today I saw a mechanical digger grab him by the bottom of his pants and lift him until a crane took over, lifting him higher, up up to the heavens, all the way to God where he'd recieve the ultimate care without me having to touch the narc so I'd avoid getting infected by him. God has taken over. My duty is fulfilled now. Numbers deleted. Thank you for this video.

This is the best, scariest and most revealing video about narcissism I've ever seen so far. After 19 years of living in the bad dream I have hope now, thank you Richard.

Jesus, this is so spot on....I understand the construct now....this is so painful to watch... the truth always hurts

HOLY SHIT!!! I have been seeing 2 different counselors 2x a week with the thought that I need at least 5x a week because this trauma from a NPD husband has REALLY screwed me up (mentally, emotionally & physically). Having said this, I follow up counseling with 3 different perspectives of individuals expert on this subject (several times a day) to REALLY wrap my brain around what I have endured! Mr. Grannon, YOU are the 1st person I have listened to on the subject that HAS given me the aahh ha moment I have been looking for! Everything you have said here in this video makes PERFECT sense to me and I feel as if I may start some REAL healing now! Damn, I wish I had found your channel much sooner! I AM SUBSCRIBED NOW! I can't thank you enough! Sincerely, S.

Thank you so much for this. I often felt like I AM NOT YOUR MOTHER. It all makes so much sense now. I also often felt like this guy needs to LEAVE the clutches of his "mother". Then I felt bad for thinking that. I did not ever say to him why can you NOT leave your "mother"? So sick. The emotional abuse was unbearable. I was so exhausted and if not at work, I was at home and slept as much as I could for an entire month.

This makes so much sense. My ex actually said in an argument with me, that he chose me because of my mother qualities. Also, he would constantly ask me to run his bath for him and if I refused, he’d say things such as “if you cared you would” the same applied to making lunches to take to work. At the time I knew it was odd requests, but I still felt slight guilt and anxiety for saying no.

@sylviealexandris6696

Жыл бұрын

My ex use to compare me to his mother and sisters. He always put their ‘feminine’ skills on a pedestal. They cooked better, kept house better, were better wives and goddesses for being mothers ( I am not able to have children- those comments to me were cruel). He even said his sister was his soulmate and spiritual guide! 🙄 It was crazy making.

@judyjones6304

Жыл бұрын

Yes they enjoy comparing and dumping and competing others for their approvals. Jerks

@finleyscotland

Жыл бұрын

Yes, I was supposed to make lunches too for him. Never thought of it being like mother. He hated his mother and eventually I left.

@Renee_N

9 ай бұрын

My narc would tell me he was his moms favorite but he never went to see her. One night after relations he told me he was thinking of his mom 🤮 I passed it off as she was very sick at the time. When the s@x stopped he told me it was because he thought of me as a mom. We didnt have kids so i was thinking he meant as a future mom to our kids but now i think he meant he thought of me as his mom not a mom. 🤮. When he was angry he would slam doors and crank rock music in a bedroom like a teenager (he was in his late 30s) so much is making sense now. Mind blown.

@rainbowvisionart8025

9 ай бұрын

@@Renee_N oh wow 😲 I feel for you when you heard this! Thank god you're not with him anymore.

All of this is true for me. Ready to exit the matrix

Have been no contact for the last 3 months, yesterday i have been diagnosed by a clinical psychologist with complex trauma! Hallelujah! Will look at the course ...alongside the therapy with the spychologist.

This really sucks. You are so correct about feeling sorry for the individual , and feeling as though i am abandoning him. I am so tired mentally, physically , and emotionally . Thank you so much for helping me to understand what is happening with me. Sending you lots of love and light .🙏🏽❤

Richard, Barely three minutes in and you already HELPED my heart. Very recently I was utterly crushed by fem covert narc. Your video brought both clarity and COMFORT. The "Dual Mothership Model" was SPOT ON! Although I didn't think this could happen in a fem to fem friendship and never saw it coming. This experience was FAR more painful than any romantic partner "break up." The depth and variety of perplexing emotions and sense of emptiness is incomprehensible. Now the healing journey begins. Thank you! Blessings and light to ALL who have been harmed by this type of toxic dynamic. 🙏💙🙏💙

@sunray8136

10 ай бұрын

It can happen with any type of relationship. I have a sister in recent months I've had to fully accept that she's that narcissistic person. I was always her target. But as I finally stood up to her now she targeted our oldest sister. And knocked her off the mother pedestal really hard. Now my older sister can finally understand what I've been telling her all these years

@deirdremorris9234

2 ай бұрын

​@@sunray8136 Same here! I kept accepting my sisters garbage because of religious teachings. I do forgive her and only want good for her, but she cannot be in my life. Totally blocked. And the weird part was once I went no contact, I started feeling powerful and wondered what else I needed to deal with. ❤

Good talk . Good explanation. Too many sick people after for selves who were neglected by mommy.

This explains why there's so many "narcs" and why we meet them time and again. We have to look at ourselves. We are the common denominator in all of this. Only we can change and get rid of them. When we change and spot them from the get go, theyll have no supply and treat people like this. Happy healing

This might be the most important piece of information for my life now. May God cut through all the illusions for us all and gives us clear insights to heal and Thriveand the strength and capacity to endure all of that.

I was laughing out loud and having flashbacks as you were talking. They always viewed self care and agency as abandonment. And I still worried about their decision making after they were gone. Excellent video.

I feel so weak dealing with this. I feel so dumb for falling for it.

My two sisters are narcissistic, all you say also applies to relationships with my sisters. So many times over the years I told my sisters, why you are treating me as your mother.... now I understand and know I was right! Watching your videos only for few days. Thank you very much.

It's been 6 months since I "abandoned" my friend I've known since Middle School. I didn't really know how narcissistic he was until we became roommates and I'm still trying to recover. Gotta say, this video hurts to watch but I'm very grateful for the advice

@OkieDokie-ft5pm

5 ай бұрын

Hear hear! One of the main reasons I'm here is not for heartbreak hotel recovery, but BECAUSE I also had to get rid of a former close friend too (who I found to evidentally be a flying monkey for my hateful family of origin while pretending to be a fellow scapegoat all that time)

Just divorced my NPD ex-wife of 20yrs. I didn't have the dual-mothership issue with my ex. I was always willing to walk away from her. Her behavior was unbelievably disgusting. What kept me for so long was our children, strict religious shame, bad counseling advice, etc. But the trauma from being triangulated against with all of her family, death threats, etc. took a toll on me. She made sure to alienate me from every single person in my life before leaving. I literally don't have a single person for support. I have an incredibly hard time making basic decisions. I was smoking marijuana all day. Just stopped two months ago. I wish I had half the support a woman does when she bangs her knee against a cabinet door... No one wants to hear your problems as a man. Completely alienated from my kids. Struggling to put one foot in front of the other.

@chrislawuk

Жыл бұрын

I hear you man - not on the rest of your problems but on the fact that nobody gives a single shit about (particularly) single men’s issues. We’re like the unloved donkeys of society - useless unless we are being put to work. Are you sure there’s no charitable organisations or free counselling you could get? Sending you love bro.

@priscillahelson700

6 ай бұрын

Go to a celebrate recovery meetings or addiction recovery meetings, you are a recovering addict and everyday free is worth celebrating

@antithesespistopheles8112

3 ай бұрын

There’s lot of us it seems.

@Blessingsallaround22

2 ай бұрын

You got this! Keep going!!!

This makes me cry all over again. This makes so much sense. I accept this as it makes sense. i will not deny need to heal

I don't feel guilt or anxiety for cutting the narcissists out of my life, I feel guilt and anxiety about their old and new victims that don't know what has happened to them or don't know what is happening to them. That's the part I find hardest to let go of. I want to be able to help others see and understand so that they can have the chance to break free. Thanks for this video, it's always great to have new ways to understand and explain this complex topic.

For me to heal is to totally remove myself away totally. I moved out and to another city many hrs to over many 100’s of miles away. Having family support and submerging myself in bonding and catching up to re-know my grand babies. Also to keep myself busy working. The time everyday gets easier and easier. I’m getting to reknow myself, which I work on everyday.

@SilverEaselArtist

7 ай бұрын

I did the same.