Why Thinking About Death Helps You Live a Better Life | Alua Arthur | TED

As a death doula, or someone who supports dying people and their loved ones, Alua Arthur spends a lot of time thinking about the end of life. In a profound talk that examines our brief, perfectly human time on this planet, she asks us to look at our lives through the lens of our deaths in seeking to answer the question: "What must I do to be at peace with myself so that I may live presently and die gracefully?"
If you love watching TED Talks like this one, become a TED Member to support our mission of spreading ideas: ted.com/membership
Follow TED!
Twitter: / tedtalks
Instagram: / ted
Facebook: / ted
LinkedIn: / ted-conferences
TikTok: / tedtoks
The TED Talks channel features talks, performances and original series from the world's leading thinkers and doers. Subscribe to our channel for videos on Technology, Entertainment and Design - plus science, business, global issues, the arts and more. Visit TED.com to get our entire library of TED Talks, transcripts, translations, personalized talk recommendations and more.
Watch more: go.ted.com/aluaarthur
• Why Thinking About Dea...
TED's videos may be used for non-commercial purposes under a Creative Commons License, Attribution-Non Commercial-No Derivatives (or the CC BY - NC - ND 4.0 International) and in accordance with our TED Talks Usage Policy: www.ted.com/about/our-organiz.... For more information on using TED for commercial purposes (e.g. employee learning, in a film or online course), please submit a Media Request at media-requests.ted.com
#TED #TEDTalks #death

Пікірлер: 240

  • @AskAMortician
    @AskAMortician10 ай бұрын

    Alua's authenticity and sincerity are the real deal. She's one of our greatest advocates and thinkers around death.

  • @emilywhittle1420

    @emilywhittle1420

    10 ай бұрын

    Big fan of all your work dealing with Death Positivity and I love the videos you made with Alua she is such a bright soul

  • @peterfang4363

    @peterfang4363

    10 ай бұрын

    ​@@emilywhittle1420😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊

  • @peterfang4363

    @peterfang4363

    10 ай бұрын

    ​😊😊😊😊😊

  • @peterfang4363

    @peterfang4363

    10 ай бұрын

    ​😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊

  • @peterfang4363

    @peterfang4363

    10 ай бұрын

    ​@@emilywhittle1420😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊

  • @SS-ke6oq
    @SS-ke6oq2 ай бұрын

    A life worth dying from. These are going to be the words I live by. Thank you.

  • @deesimzz
    @deesimzz10 ай бұрын

    I sobbed so hard at her description of what she believes death to be. Unbelievable talk. So grateful for her wisdom.

  • @user-wq1kz9lq1e
    @user-wq1kz9lq1e6 ай бұрын

    I have died. You give permision. It is peaceful. It is like floating through a bright eyeball. On the other side there are only those that came before you. I am currently pregnant AND dying. So I live life. I show love. I smile so largly at the moon and sky I have given myself more wrinkles. Love life! Death does not hurt!

  • @mmirafuentess1990
    @mmirafuentess19905 ай бұрын

    Looking forward to my first day or lecture of Death doula course! I am 58, retired Pharm Tech, slightly depressed due to fibromyalgia pains, thoracic outlet syndrome, etc. However, there is time still to serve others.

  • @lubysisters2040
    @lubysisters20402 ай бұрын

    Her talk is beyond beautiful! I listen to this talk about once a month and I ugly cry every single time. But it inspires me and reminds me to live every single moment and second of my life to the fullest! She is such a gift!!

  • @arthurslouro
    @arthurslouro10 ай бұрын

    I'm literally in tears as I watched this TED talk. It felt as if I was listening to a poem that touched me so deeply. Thank you TED for sharing this. What an amazing speaker.

  • @debracrews5216
    @debracrews52166 ай бұрын

    As@death doula, I applaud this Ted talk 110%. So right, like Barbara Karne’s said, “in real life people don’t die like they do in the movies”.

  • @Bise270
    @Bise27010 ай бұрын

    I learned alot from this talk but the most that i will take from this is to "hold life lightly",nothing lastly forever.

  • @kevinwilliams3272
    @kevinwilliams32727 ай бұрын

    Alua, I really liked the somewhat humorous tone of this talk about a subject that scares so many people. But my God, where did you get those sublime high heels? ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

  • @karinablaz981
    @karinablaz9813 ай бұрын

    I’m so moved by Alua !! I sobbed when she shared her story of her brother in law .

  • @zeyadrezk7108
    @zeyadrezk710810 ай бұрын

    "We highlight what we have to do to feel worthy rather than who we get to be"

  • @shawnkeller8954
    @shawnkeller8954Ай бұрын

    Amen- Dad in Hospice Care and your spirit is beautiful. Thank you for being you .

  • @user-le7rf8ms7r
    @user-le7rf8ms7r7 ай бұрын

    Alua did an amazing job, she inspired me to a new life motto, which from now on reads: 'Don't wait for things to happen, make them happen, because life doesn't stop for you.'

  • @MrTJBelasco
    @MrTJBelasco10 ай бұрын

    How is it I just discovered Alua? This talk is poignant and powerful. I left it thinking more about living than dying. She drives home, our lives are a series of transitions preparing for the biggest transition death. She inspired me so deeply and transformationally.

  • @octaviasithole3621
    @octaviasithole362110 ай бұрын

    I cried😭! Not because of sadness but because what she said makes so much sense. I am making it my goal to live fully in the years that I have left. Thank you ☺️ so much for this talk. 😊

  • @fkmyoutube
    @fkmyoutube8 ай бұрын

    This video has been in my Watch Later List until today, as I got busy with life, thinking I will come back to it later. But today I just needed something to speak to me. My life has been a mess, with wrong decisions in life and work. I know I am mildly depressed. So I just decided to watch this video today, and I am glad I did. It changed my perspective on the problems that I am facing in my life, where they are not that important anymore. I want to live, to try to experience what else life has to offer, good or bad, with no regrets, until the very end of my life. This could be the one moment that changes my life.

  • @narceliankrisa3769
    @narceliankrisa376910 ай бұрын

    I love how she speaks with kindness, poetry, confidence and wisdom. Its been pleasing, funny and VERY touching to listen to her.

  • @plumpcosplay8562
    @plumpcosplay856210 ай бұрын

    Just beautiful.

  • @Willzd
    @Willzd10 ай бұрын

    Wow wow wow wow wow - she is incredible! What a fantastic speaker, storyteller and thinker. I feel like I just experienced something very special.

  • @abenaoffeh-gyimah8265
    @abenaoffeh-gyimah826510 ай бұрын

    A life worth dying from ❤❤❤

  • @YaelAmare
    @YaelAmare6 ай бұрын

    I’m incredibly happy I came across this video

  • @mostguitarswins
    @mostguitarswins10 ай бұрын

    "It is complete, and I am safe" Thank you for turning and facing the things that matter. Thank you for speaking ❤‍🔥🙏

  • @clinkedylinkedy1
    @clinkedylinkedy19 ай бұрын

    This is the best Ted talk I’ve ever seen. Thank you for gifting us profound meaning, Alua.

  • @SugarAnnie2
    @SugarAnnie29 ай бұрын

    I attended Alua’s classes. No one can express it better. She is such a gift and a complete and utter delight!

  • @ebereo234
    @ebereo23410 ай бұрын

    I love her energy. Thank you, Alua, for serving humanity.

  • @itzallan
    @itzallan10 ай бұрын

    An amazing and emotionally moving Ted Talk! I love the humor, which is not easy to have when talking about the subject of dying. Alua is an amazing orator!

  • @user-le7rf8ms7r

    @user-le7rf8ms7r

    7 ай бұрын

    I completley agree with you. She kept it light-hearted and at the same time thaught us something very valuable.

  • @alexandraspinner6906
    @alexandraspinner69069 ай бұрын

    As a woman with MBC- when I asked Drs is there a calendar or calculator that determines my end of life- well no…That is when I began pondering how do I really want to go- ever more so, accentuating how I really want to live- until that time. Alua Arthur spoke an absolute truth with soaring compassion, mostly she validated how my perception of life and death has taken on an entirely different meaning. Poignant and vulnerable and purposeful, thank you.

  • @sm5773
    @sm577310 ай бұрын

    Ted made this talk happen for me. I have had these questions for some time now. I wish I could meet someone wise like her in real life. Why is this not that popular. Death is the ultimate truth and will happen to all - why don't we talk more about it.

  • @nicholasharvey7039
    @nicholasharvey703910 ай бұрын

    Alua’s work with the Order Of The Good Death has always inspired me to live my life exactly how she describes it. Live life so that when you die, you’ll be remembered how you want to.

  • @sandyb-adventurer_nature
    @sandyb-adventurer_nature10 ай бұрын

    This is beautiful, We should think about dying it helps shape what we do and how we relate to our society 🙏🏿🙌🏿🙌🏿🙌🏿

  • @llerretjazelle
    @llerretjazelle7 ай бұрын

    That was so beautiful. Thank you for this offering

  • @2killnspray9
    @2killnspray98 ай бұрын

    I can't stop thinking of the fact that death may be an infinit emptyness. It terrifies me when I start overthinking of it. My mother died young (41) brutally when I was only 11. The fact that she may not be here somehow to see me grow it's an absolutely scary and sad thing, that she will never see my future kids etc. Something I can't fully accept and I can't just accept infinite nothingness, so I just try to have faith that there is "more".

  • @marinad894
    @marinad8947 ай бұрын

    You are an Angel⭐️ thank you for sharing your gifts. I’m feeling inspired to become a death dula. 💕🌈🙏

  • @olimpiasilva9268
    @olimpiasilva92686 ай бұрын

    This talk is life transforming! Thank you

  • @VIKASHMADHUKAR
    @VIKASHMADHUKAR10 ай бұрын

    This is one of the best Ted I have ever listened to. Absolutely stunning.

  • @drhymanwritesandspeakes
    @drhymanwritesandspeakes7 ай бұрын

    Beautifully given, so inspirational, so affirming. Thank you for the lesson learned, and the experience shared! 🙏

  • @micahroberts8383
    @micahroberts83838 ай бұрын

    Wow. More wisdom in this than I can hold onto. Going to be reflecting on this for a long time. Thank you for sharing this!

  • @MillhouseSpeaks
    @MillhouseSpeaks10 ай бұрын

    In Islām being conscious of death is vital! Everything we do will it please god and result in a good death a good rest in the grave and heaven or not in the afterlife

  • @FaceFcuk

    @FaceFcuk

    10 ай бұрын

    Is that why they blow up themselves and children at pop concerts

  • @0PR0t0ZER0

    @0PR0t0ZER0

    10 ай бұрын

    Stop trying to scare people. You preach the wrong God.

  • @MillhouseSpeaks

    @MillhouseSpeaks

    10 ай бұрын

    @@0PR0t0ZER0 I’m not trying to scare anyone!

  • @KayyAhmad

    @KayyAhmad

    10 ай бұрын

    Exactly

  • @0PR0t0ZER0

    @0PR0t0ZER0

    10 ай бұрын

    @MillhouseSpeaks yes you are and that's what you're doing whether you know it or not. Vengeance is of men, not the divine.

  • @Fromthelaurels
    @Fromthelaurels9 ай бұрын

    What an extraordinary talk, thank you so much Alua!!!! 👏👏👏👏

  • @abenaoffeh-gyimah8265
    @abenaoffeh-gyimah826510 ай бұрын

    Listening to this felt like life intimately touching my face and reassuring me to live full ❤😊

  • @Kglviews
    @Kglviews9 ай бұрын

    Wow, so succinctly spoken…thank you Alua, for this wonderful and enlightening piece

  • @misscarpone2
    @misscarpone210 ай бұрын

    Wow, Mrs. A., that talked was so touching. I cuurently feel my mom may pass this year, and think about my own life and death to come... I've tried to live life from the perspective of death, and yet, there is so much living in the glittery instants that I haven't plumbed yet. Thank you for your work. And btw, your beauty was a joy to behold.

  • @leonaisaac1368
    @leonaisaac136810 ай бұрын

    One of the most profound talks I have ever heard!❤❤❤

  • @mishya_8968
    @mishya_896819 күн бұрын

    the thought of death actually comforts me. not that i want to end my life but rather it is in knowing that our limited time here makes me more grateful for the time i get to spend with my loved ones, and for the experience i continue to have no matter how big or small they are. we'll all be gone someday. at the end, it is all about how we made others feel with our brief moment on earth

  • @annemarieosborne2787
    @annemarieosborne27878 ай бұрын

    Alua's extraordinary talk is a profound reminder to be present to the experiences and the richness of life and to those we love. In the end, that is all that matters.

  • @veronicajackson6607
    @veronicajackson660710 ай бұрын

    This was so graceful and beautifully conveyed 🥰. Life-changing talk! Thank you Alua ❤️

  • @carinm.bonifacino
    @carinm.bonifacino10 ай бұрын

    Absolutely stunning talk, message, and delivery. Thank you, Alua!!

  • @elvytan4682
    @elvytan468210 ай бұрын

    Thank you, Alua & TED, for one of the best talks ever!

  • @sterlthepearl1000
    @sterlthepearl10002 ай бұрын

    Time offers us opportunity, and demands a sense of urgency. As our present moment must be embraced, or our rewards for the future will be with held.

  • @trishag.971
    @trishag.97110 ай бұрын

    I love this!! The visual imagery, the details, thought-provoking questions.. just incredible talk all around.

  • @diegofarias4485
    @diegofarias44858 ай бұрын

    Thank you for this video. It really helped me to think about my life.

  • @ValentinGao
    @ValentinGao10 ай бұрын

    Thank you Ted for making this happen, Thank you Alua for sharing such a magical perspective and lesson. I am forever changed in the perspective of how I look at death and face it. 💛

  • @jenniferwilson1937
    @jenniferwilson19372 ай бұрын

    Beautiful - so glad that I listened. Thank you for sharing! ❤️

  • @christinasealy2424
    @christinasealy242410 ай бұрын

    My favourite TED talk - never heard such a talk . Thankyou

  • @jh3755
    @jh37559 ай бұрын

    Absolutely amazing. I'm floored. What a blessing I found this.

  • @kiiza.s.hussein9092
    @kiiza.s.hussein90929 ай бұрын

    What it means by confronting the reality! She is fantastic and articulate on idea of coming to terms with death and live a better life!

  • @ree7726
    @ree772610 ай бұрын

    I am in awe. Just wow. Alua, a gift.

  • @neemaloveslife6846
    @neemaloveslife684610 ай бұрын

    ❤❤❤❤make meaning out of the magic of the mundane! Thanks Alua!Thank you for sharing this!

  • @hannaisGOLDEN
    @hannaisGOLDEN10 ай бұрын

    Probably the best Ted talk or speech in general I’ve ever seen. Amazing work Alua 🏆

  • @kimbillanderson1315
    @kimbillanderson131510 ай бұрын

    Stunning!!! Thank you for touching my life!!

  • @rishitaandahana
    @rishitaandahana8 ай бұрын

    This is beautifully touching and inspiring!

  • @sherephajohnson3616
    @sherephajohnson36166 ай бұрын

    So gracefully spoken!! Thank you for sharing your knowledge and wisdom on bridging the gap between life & death❤🌻

  • @edde290
    @edde29010 ай бұрын

    I am in awe Thank you 🙏🏾

  • @AB-mz2ev
    @AB-mz2ev10 ай бұрын

    Amazing talk. Poignant. Thank you, Alua.

  • @robertaswhite4939
    @robertaswhite4939Ай бұрын

    This is what I help people do for a living as a Death, Dying, Grief Specialist. 💙

  • @Awesovven
    @AwesovvenАй бұрын

    This was a really great lecture. I constantly find myself imagining my own death. Whether I'm hit by a car, suffer a heart attack, trip and smash my head in, or go peacefully in my sleep, my death itself never concerns me. I always picture the next few years after my death and the impact it has on those around me. I picture my moms eyes filled with tears, even after so long. I picture my dad silently struggling in pain and the dullness in his eyes. I picture my brothers, the oldest growing numb to life and contemplating suicide and the youngest traumatized over it. I picture my aunts and uncles telling all my cousins they'll never see me again and the pain they hold hiding me as just gone. I picture my girlfriend finding it hard to move forward in life, and her staying that way until another young man finds his way into her heart. It's a sobering experience facing death, and it gives you a clear impression of the impacts you've made. I've never enjoyed facing my death, but acknowledging the significance of my life is oddly comforting. It gives me the direction and motivation to make my life into something more. Hearing this lecture has been freeing as I feel I've gained permission to choose how I die. I want to pass away holding my future wife in my arms. Our children, grandchildren and a few great grandchildren will be close, but respectfully giving us space. I'll kiss her for the last time and after kissing me back she'll peacefully pass in the comfort of my arms. I'll hold her softly, finding comfort in her lasting warmth as my eyes slowly close for the last time.

  • @OngSamuel
    @OngSamuel10 ай бұрын

    Thank you for this ❤

  • @krystalyoung8849
    @krystalyoung884910 ай бұрын

    Loved this. I always come back to her stuff when I’m struggling with life.

  • @Rocco6161
    @Rocco616110 ай бұрын

    "Eat the dessert you want, you will die" This one will get a lot of views, great talk.

  • @ceciliaz2208
    @ceciliaz220810 ай бұрын

    Preciosa intervención. Graciasssss

  • @shashikanoria1231
    @shashikanoria123110 ай бұрын

    Simply brilliant !

  • @reneengelbrecht-xj4eu
    @reneengelbrecht-xj4eu8 ай бұрын

    Really beautifull thank you I really needed to hear this❤

  • @edwardagtavarez
    @edwardagtavarez10 ай бұрын

    Wow,I loved this talk! 💗

  • @elevenscorpio
    @elevenscorpio9 ай бұрын

    I love this, thank you

  • @nevibalezdrova6636
    @nevibalezdrova66369 ай бұрын

    Incredible, had to pause a few times .. so so moving

  • @Jashanpreet-nj3lu
    @Jashanpreet-nj3lu10 ай бұрын

    Beautiful Ted thank you ❤

  • @shambalifewithgathegugatun8889
    @shambalifewithgathegugatun888910 ай бұрын

    Brilliant! I wish she was there at my father’s end of life. People with cancer need more dignified care at the end of life. Thank you for the colorful celebration at the end of your life.

  • @KhangNguyen-qj6ew
    @KhangNguyen-qj6ew9 ай бұрын

    I really love this talk❤

  • @Pokemon-Master
    @Pokemon-Master10 ай бұрын

    Best TED talk i’ve ever heard. ❤

  • @nroosafs
    @nroosafs10 ай бұрын

    I cry A LOT, but now I will try do that, thank you so much to share this ❤❤❤

  • @naomiantonius
    @naomiantonius10 ай бұрын

    Jep. Needed that! Thank you❤

  • @ArthurAnymoredonuts1
    @ArthurAnymoredonuts110 ай бұрын

    I love her, I love her work, and let's also talk about that ORANGE. dayum!

  • @BrettRiley-kk9zh
    @BrettRiley-kk9zh10 ай бұрын

    This is so beautiful

  • @toloughanavatifar5129
    @toloughanavatifar512910 ай бұрын

    So heart touchin✨

  • @user-ll7pd2qb7j
    @user-ll7pd2qb7j6 ай бұрын

    I’m glad one day this will be over. Life is hard, but living is harder. I’m a Man I’m tired of this places. I apologize to all the people I hurt. ❤

  • @teriscallon
    @teriscallon10 ай бұрын

    that was fantastic! thank you

  • @lindajohnson2816
    @lindajohnson281610 ай бұрын

    This is amazing work ❤

  • @ItsAliciaK
    @ItsAliciaK10 ай бұрын

    Love this 💜

  • @andrewpinnell1172
    @andrewpinnell11729 күн бұрын

    Thank you for sharing your heart experiences and growing wisdom. ❤️

  • @letsbetrees
    @letsbetreesАй бұрын

    This video was riveting! BRAVO

  • @sageofthesun
    @sageofthesun10 ай бұрын

    Thank you, Alua ❤

  • @marquiezjennings9134
    @marquiezjennings91343 ай бұрын

    AMAZING!!!!!!! THANK YOU!!!!!!

  • @danalynart
    @danalynart10 ай бұрын

    Thank you Alua. ❤

  • @TheMrmoc7
    @TheMrmoc74 ай бұрын

    This was a good one TEd, well done.

  • @DaniellaOfficial
    @DaniellaOfficial9 ай бұрын

    This was so beautiful

  • @ninsennansen
    @ninsennansen10 ай бұрын

    I really needed this video. Thank you, TED❤ Thank you, Alua❤❤

  • @jasjacob2751
    @jasjacob275110 ай бұрын

    Thank you Alua Arthur ❤

  • @sterlthepearl1000
    @sterlthepearl10002 ай бұрын

    Yesterday is history tomorrow is a mystery today is the present and that's why it's A Gift

  • @heidisilver
    @heidisilver8 ай бұрын

    Wow, thank you Alua absolutely beautiful ❤🌟