Is Someone You Love Suffering in Silence? Here's What To Do | Gus Worland | TED
Жүктеу.....
Пікірлер: 85
@tricia_music10 ай бұрын
i lost my best friend 3 years ago to suicide. she was the only person whom i truly could entrust everything to. you just don’t know what someone’s going through. please be kind and spread kindness. it doesn’t cost anything
@AMYINRSM Жыл бұрын
Lost my mother to suicide. We tried everything to help her. Sometimes, you just can't help someone to want to live. Not to say that you don't try. I'm just saying from personal experience that sometimes you just can't fix things. That being said, good on him for reaching out and trying to bring awareness to the suffering that people are quietly enduring.
@JR-zm2yu
Жыл бұрын
💜🙏
@mcfunwow
Жыл бұрын
I'm so very sorry.
@van_dutch
Жыл бұрын
What he says at 9:00 is key; get to them when they are at the stage of not wanting to die but need or want help. There's a point of no return.
@surabhik9521
Жыл бұрын
I also lost my mother to suicide. I was 9 and never knew it can happen to us. Wish people care each other so much that this thought never occur in anyone’s mind.
@JR-zm2yu
Жыл бұрын
@@surabhik9521 💜🙏
@pathummel4876 Жыл бұрын
Lost my cousin ,uncle and brother to suicide. It will never be the same again. Sending hugs to all!
@maggiekelley259 Жыл бұрын
I'm that person. I'm not attractive, but I know or can figure out problems easily. I've been through enough therapy to know how to communicate effectively and directly. I rubbed shoulders with people at the state house, know how to look confident, how to approach the person you've had a crush on without being creepy, and am a rock for quite a few people. I learned all of this through extensive therapy after I attempted to take my own life several times. I know the answers, but only for you. I don't know the answers for myself. I feel meaningless and directionless in a lot of ways. I give all this advice and help, but there's always this undercurrent of wanting to unalive myself. I wish I knew how to reach out and be vulnerable to others like they are with me.
@mooniswani1873
Жыл бұрын
Do you want to change ?
@hanswoast7
Жыл бұрын
I am in a very similar situation. It started to make sense when Chris Williamson said "the persona cannot receive love, only praise". If you do not allow yourself to be yourself, you will starve to death. You need to "be yourself", open up, be vulnerable, talk about your wants, needs and feelings. This can only be achieved by not trying to be someone else, by not being driven by expectations of others, by acknowledging your feelings and being real to your heart. You can only truly connect to others when you are connected to yourself, e.g. when you are vulnerable and honest and you accept yourself. Being disconnected from oneself and others is the essence of trauma (see Dr. Gabor Mate). I might also point you to Jordan Peterson for the importance of meaning. Best of luck!
@maggiekelley259
Жыл бұрын
@@hanswoast7 Interesting you mention trauma.... There's been a lot of that. I've been going through a real bad streak, and seem to have them in my life? Loss and trauma have dotted the landscape for quite some time, but I'm not sure exactly how to stop that tide. I'm of a pretty low social class as well, so qualified help and a safe place to heal have been very difficult to come by.
@fekeetsa
Жыл бұрын
Are you near a teaching hospital or university? Often free assistance can be found at these locations? BTW "being attractive " I've found has no bearing in these situations. What is in your heart will shine through. But if you are a goto person maybe as an experiment... respond with how you are going through something similar. You may find the person needing help has tools to help you. It's not an easy process. ..especially if you are a very private person.
@michellehenderson42 Жыл бұрын
This is never really talked about or spoken of until it’s too late nine times out of ten… so thanks for sharing this!
@farrah5469 Жыл бұрын
I definitely have a life of battle of suicide. Unfortunately now my depression is grief now. My son was murdered not to long. Now I just want to be of service to help those that are struggling with perspective. Life is so meaningful until life feels meaningless. At that point is when you find your inner self. I've learned to center myself and say things that are fearful out loud. I hope that you have an amazing day on purpose.
@lynlacey6678
Жыл бұрын
Aw I'm going through a depressing episode too take care of yourself x
@user-fb1dr6be4y
Жыл бұрын
It takes a year every day to work on grief and that's devastating that your son was murdered I couldn't even imagine the pain
@adeola08
Жыл бұрын
So sorry for your loss.
@nicklong709 Жыл бұрын
This is artwork 😢. Thanks Gus! As soon as I thought of my son, I broke down in tears. Keep your head up, chest out, and keep going! You've got this 😊
@MH-rc6dr Жыл бұрын
Bless you Gus. You’re a true icon.
@cop12345 Жыл бұрын
Great message Gussy. Onya brother!
@ardy7729 Жыл бұрын
What a powerful message and will definitely be sending my text. Thanks so much Gus.
@adeola08 Жыл бұрын
I really wish I had someone like this in my life. Would make a world of difference.
@fekeetsa
Жыл бұрын
Where do you live. Not exactly but the general area. There are more people that do want to help than you can imagine and out could be there for you. Open up and maybe the magic will happen for you. Be careful of the crazies but the honest truth shines through
@BrettGrady-vf4kx Жыл бұрын
Great message Gus!
@brains7733 Жыл бұрын
A message of LOVE delivered with passion and sincerity. Thanks Gus.
@adeola08 Жыл бұрын
Very touching story. Thank you so much for sharing and your bravery.
@tralamont Жыл бұрын
Thank you for sharing.
@Jonathan-UN Жыл бұрын
Wow, what a deep talk. Many thanks for that.
@easterkim35313 күн бұрын
I've been suffering in silence now bc i cried and cried out to my friends and peers to just listen and they wouldnt! Now my only hope is to just forward this to these people before i think of something stupid!😢
@ITB108 Жыл бұрын
Because most people have "self interest" only. And 90% never ask the givers how they feel.
@davidfortier6976
Жыл бұрын
Compassion doesn't really cost anything, but so many people are so stingy with it.
@rjrjrjj4461 Жыл бұрын
Thank you GusWorland, you are amazing
@venup6390 Жыл бұрын
Thank you so much ❤
@jacobcory414 Жыл бұрын
Thank you.
@K8319M Жыл бұрын
best ted talk ive ever seen
@gonfaraway Жыл бұрын
Words mean nothing without action. Kiss, hug
@winneryeahmate11 ай бұрын
Miss you on the Grill Team... Mick and MG are good but just feels incomplete without you there
@fekeetsa Жыл бұрын
I'm the go to person in my group. I have cancer, SPS, AVN partly deaf and blind in one eye.. over 20 years now. I would want a single day without pain. It will never happen. I would like a vacation. I would like to not worry something in my house doesn't break down . But i always smile everything is fine I say. I lie constantly. I'm poor and in debt. But I'm always there. No one has ever offered to help me because I'm superwoman. It's exhausting. But if I didn't get involved I'd have no purpose So a choice is made. Be there or nowhere. I choose be there for whoever needs help and I have purpose
@m2pozad Жыл бұрын
Men need to learn how to provide emotional support to each other, somewhat like women do for each other.
@user-fb1dr6be4y
Жыл бұрын
No I don't want that Vinny
@m2pozad
Жыл бұрын
@@user-fb1dr6be4y What do you think it is that you don't want? Did you mean Vinni? (Vinni as a girl's name is of Old English origin, and the meaning of Vinni is "elf or magical friend". Vinni is a variant of the Old English names Alvina and Elvina.Mar 15, 2023)
@jayd.o.t
10 ай бұрын
@@m2pozadvinni 🧙♂️🪄
@mikalyonsoneal9890
10 ай бұрын
News flash..... women don't support each other either.
@Mike-pg6gs Жыл бұрын
Inspiring
@nishapalagolla7267 Жыл бұрын
Best TED talk I've ever listened to. Many many thanks Gus 🙏
@ronoldcross8189 Жыл бұрын
It would be nice to have a "Gotch for life". But no giving up on the people I know. NEVER GIVE UP!
@makkapoya11 ай бұрын
very beautiful speecb ❤
@matthew-jy5jp Жыл бұрын
I have lost many many people I have loved family and friends. It's so important to say the things you need to say to people you love. Because nobody knows what's coming tomorrow. The world would be a better place if we could all just be a little kinder to each other. This is for everyone who's feeling like the day is always going to be dark, Don't give up. There is no darkness that The light of hope and love can't break through. Don't give up even for all its UPS and Downs life is a beautiful thing. And live each day like it is your last because it very well could be.
@268Jamal Жыл бұрын
Faith, hope and love; these three, and the greatest of these is love.
@vivianjones5904 Жыл бұрын
HAPPY FOR YOU!!!❤😂
@DavidHanniganJr Жыл бұрын
Fucking Right On Brother!
@therockpavankumar Жыл бұрын
Thank you love you anna
@missdhee Жыл бұрын
❤
@hhairball97 ай бұрын
What if the person you love more than anything doesn't want you to be part of their life anymore?
@CsillaMolnar-vj5ce Жыл бұрын
Is there a ted talk to people who literally have no one?
@ashrafzulhelmi1851 Жыл бұрын
How about that someone is myself?
@rimaruttempest6109 Жыл бұрын
I’m that person
@kanjoA4 Жыл бұрын
Hello from spexy fam
@RichardShift Жыл бұрын
Honest question now for Gus and everyone: how can I help you helping?? This is sincere! Please, let me know!
@van_dutch
Жыл бұрын
He says at 11:00 how you can help.
@DanceUnderInfluence Жыл бұрын
Make housing affordable.
@matthew-jy5jp Жыл бұрын
We all need someone to talk to you. We all need understanding and compassion and most of mercy and love. Not love of a great or spouse. But love for all humanity even the ones we don't like or understand. It's dialogie that changes people lives. Walk in someone else's shoes and understand That all pain is universal and true compassion comes from sharing in someone's pain and not pushing the person away whose pain you cannot bear the deal with.
@5flapjacks468 Жыл бұрын
With all the trials and tribulations we get in life, i have found that Jesus brings me comfort in said tribulations. .... Jesus brings us joy and hope, knowing that He removed all of our sins at Calvary. If you need some teaching on the matter, the you tube channel, 'faith cometh by hearing' has a fine teaching series titled, 'change of mind' which helped me understand the matter.
@geraldmerkowitz436011 ай бұрын
That would be great if youtube would just let me WATCH THE DAMN VIDEO
@user-fb1dr6be4y Жыл бұрын
How could Robin Williams the most funniest man on the planet take his own life he's suffered in silence
@marcanderson9211
Жыл бұрын
His brain was being slowly destroyed by a horrible disease. He knew it; he knew it would only get worse; and he knew it was terminal. That’s a hard thing to carry.
@marcanderson9211
Жыл бұрын
Also, as different areas of your brain deteriorate and die, your capacity for rational thought and reasoning can go with it. Dementia in any form is just horrible, for the patient and the family / friends.
@user-fb1dr6be4y
Жыл бұрын
@@marcanderson9211 he suffered in silence yeah the loving daughter that was devastated you don't know what you're talkin about you're fired
@neen42
Жыл бұрын
@@user-fb1dr6be4y he absolutely knows what he's talking about. Anyone who has had a loved one suffer and linger with dementia before dying an unrecognizable shell of a person would know that.
@funnytv-1631 Жыл бұрын
Recommend them to get professional help
@annie8230
Жыл бұрын
A friend is worth 1000x more than a stranger therapist
@isaurogomez6752
Жыл бұрын
No TRUST. " WE " , the OLD PEOPLE, NOW VERY WELL HOW " THE DOCTORS AND EXPERTS" WORK. I'LL GO TO A DR., ONLY IF THERE IS NO OTHER WAY. ALL THEY WANT IS %$$$$$$$%%%%$$.
My friend tried, but the psychologist she went to the first time went off telling her his own story and she felt she hadn't been helped at all. She hasn't tried again. 🙁 and she has been miserable recently and saying worrisome things. And she has chronic disease as well.
@JimBoom92
Жыл бұрын
If you cant solve your inner problems yourself then you must be stupid to think that some therapist could do that for a lot of money... i would rather learn to live with it or kill myself before visiting such an 'expert'. But maybe stupid people can be helped to see what they are not able to see on their own... i somehow learned to enjoy my suffering, its called living.
Пікірлер: 85
i lost my best friend 3 years ago to suicide. she was the only person whom i truly could entrust everything to. you just don’t know what someone’s going through. please be kind and spread kindness. it doesn’t cost anything
Lost my mother to suicide. We tried everything to help her. Sometimes, you just can't help someone to want to live. Not to say that you don't try. I'm just saying from personal experience that sometimes you just can't fix things. That being said, good on him for reaching out and trying to bring awareness to the suffering that people are quietly enduring.
@JR-zm2yu
Жыл бұрын
💜🙏
@mcfunwow
Жыл бұрын
I'm so very sorry.
@van_dutch
Жыл бұрын
What he says at 9:00 is key; get to them when they are at the stage of not wanting to die but need or want help. There's a point of no return.
@surabhik9521
Жыл бұрын
I also lost my mother to suicide. I was 9 and never knew it can happen to us. Wish people care each other so much that this thought never occur in anyone’s mind.
@JR-zm2yu
Жыл бұрын
@@surabhik9521 💜🙏
Lost my cousin ,uncle and brother to suicide. It will never be the same again. Sending hugs to all!
I'm that person. I'm not attractive, but I know or can figure out problems easily. I've been through enough therapy to know how to communicate effectively and directly. I rubbed shoulders with people at the state house, know how to look confident, how to approach the person you've had a crush on without being creepy, and am a rock for quite a few people. I learned all of this through extensive therapy after I attempted to take my own life several times. I know the answers, but only for you. I don't know the answers for myself. I feel meaningless and directionless in a lot of ways. I give all this advice and help, but there's always this undercurrent of wanting to unalive myself. I wish I knew how to reach out and be vulnerable to others like they are with me.
@mooniswani1873
Жыл бұрын
Do you want to change ?
@hanswoast7
Жыл бұрын
I am in a very similar situation. It started to make sense when Chris Williamson said "the persona cannot receive love, only praise". If you do not allow yourself to be yourself, you will starve to death. You need to "be yourself", open up, be vulnerable, talk about your wants, needs and feelings. This can only be achieved by not trying to be someone else, by not being driven by expectations of others, by acknowledging your feelings and being real to your heart. You can only truly connect to others when you are connected to yourself, e.g. when you are vulnerable and honest and you accept yourself. Being disconnected from oneself and others is the essence of trauma (see Dr. Gabor Mate). I might also point you to Jordan Peterson for the importance of meaning. Best of luck!
@maggiekelley259
Жыл бұрын
@@hanswoast7 Interesting you mention trauma.... There's been a lot of that. I've been going through a real bad streak, and seem to have them in my life? Loss and trauma have dotted the landscape for quite some time, but I'm not sure exactly how to stop that tide. I'm of a pretty low social class as well, so qualified help and a safe place to heal have been very difficult to come by.
@fekeetsa
Жыл бұрын
Are you near a teaching hospital or university? Often free assistance can be found at these locations? BTW "being attractive " I've found has no bearing in these situations. What is in your heart will shine through. But if you are a goto person maybe as an experiment... respond with how you are going through something similar. You may find the person needing help has tools to help you. It's not an easy process. ..especially if you are a very private person.
This is never really talked about or spoken of until it’s too late nine times out of ten… so thanks for sharing this!
I definitely have a life of battle of suicide. Unfortunately now my depression is grief now. My son was murdered not to long. Now I just want to be of service to help those that are struggling with perspective. Life is so meaningful until life feels meaningless. At that point is when you find your inner self. I've learned to center myself and say things that are fearful out loud. I hope that you have an amazing day on purpose.
@lynlacey6678
Жыл бұрын
Aw I'm going through a depressing episode too take care of yourself x
@user-fb1dr6be4y
Жыл бұрын
It takes a year every day to work on grief and that's devastating that your son was murdered I couldn't even imagine the pain
@adeola08
Жыл бұрын
So sorry for your loss.
This is artwork 😢. Thanks Gus! As soon as I thought of my son, I broke down in tears. Keep your head up, chest out, and keep going! You've got this 😊
Bless you Gus. You’re a true icon.
Great message Gussy. Onya brother!
What a powerful message and will definitely be sending my text. Thanks so much Gus.
I really wish I had someone like this in my life. Would make a world of difference.
@fekeetsa
Жыл бұрын
Where do you live. Not exactly but the general area. There are more people that do want to help than you can imagine and out could be there for you. Open up and maybe the magic will happen for you. Be careful of the crazies but the honest truth shines through
Great message Gus!
A message of LOVE delivered with passion and sincerity. Thanks Gus.
Very touching story. Thank you so much for sharing and your bravery.
Thank you for sharing.
Wow, what a deep talk. Many thanks for that.
I've been suffering in silence now bc i cried and cried out to my friends and peers to just listen and they wouldnt! Now my only hope is to just forward this to these people before i think of something stupid!😢
Because most people have "self interest" only. And 90% never ask the givers how they feel.
@davidfortier6976
Жыл бұрын
Compassion doesn't really cost anything, but so many people are so stingy with it.
Thank you GusWorland, you are amazing
Thank you so much ❤
Thank you.
best ted talk ive ever seen
Words mean nothing without action. Kiss, hug
Miss you on the Grill Team... Mick and MG are good but just feels incomplete without you there
I'm the go to person in my group. I have cancer, SPS, AVN partly deaf and blind in one eye.. over 20 years now. I would want a single day without pain. It will never happen. I would like a vacation. I would like to not worry something in my house doesn't break down . But i always smile everything is fine I say. I lie constantly. I'm poor and in debt. But I'm always there. No one has ever offered to help me because I'm superwoman. It's exhausting. But if I didn't get involved I'd have no purpose So a choice is made. Be there or nowhere. I choose be there for whoever needs help and I have purpose
Men need to learn how to provide emotional support to each other, somewhat like women do for each other.
@user-fb1dr6be4y
Жыл бұрын
No I don't want that Vinny
@m2pozad
Жыл бұрын
@@user-fb1dr6be4y What do you think it is that you don't want? Did you mean Vinni? (Vinni as a girl's name is of Old English origin, and the meaning of Vinni is "elf or magical friend". Vinni is a variant of the Old English names Alvina and Elvina.Mar 15, 2023)
@jayd.o.t
10 ай бұрын
@@m2pozadvinni 🧙♂️🪄
@mikalyonsoneal9890
10 ай бұрын
News flash..... women don't support each other either.
Inspiring
Best TED talk I've ever listened to. Many many thanks Gus 🙏
It would be nice to have a "Gotch for life". But no giving up on the people I know. NEVER GIVE UP!
very beautiful speecb ❤
I have lost many many people I have loved family and friends. It's so important to say the things you need to say to people you love. Because nobody knows what's coming tomorrow. The world would be a better place if we could all just be a little kinder to each other. This is for everyone who's feeling like the day is always going to be dark, Don't give up. There is no darkness that The light of hope and love can't break through. Don't give up even for all its UPS and Downs life is a beautiful thing. And live each day like it is your last because it very well could be.
Faith, hope and love; these three, and the greatest of these is love.
HAPPY FOR YOU!!!❤😂
Fucking Right On Brother!
Thank you love you anna
❤
What if the person you love more than anything doesn't want you to be part of their life anymore?
Is there a ted talk to people who literally have no one?
How about that someone is myself?
I’m that person
Hello from spexy fam
Honest question now for Gus and everyone: how can I help you helping?? This is sincere! Please, let me know!
@van_dutch
Жыл бұрын
He says at 11:00 how you can help.
Make housing affordable.
We all need someone to talk to you. We all need understanding and compassion and most of mercy and love. Not love of a great or spouse. But love for all humanity even the ones we don't like or understand. It's dialogie that changes people lives. Walk in someone else's shoes and understand That all pain is universal and true compassion comes from sharing in someone's pain and not pushing the person away whose pain you cannot bear the deal with.
With all the trials and tribulations we get in life, i have found that Jesus brings me comfort in said tribulations. .... Jesus brings us joy and hope, knowing that He removed all of our sins at Calvary. If you need some teaching on the matter, the you tube channel, 'faith cometh by hearing' has a fine teaching series titled, 'change of mind' which helped me understand the matter.
That would be great if youtube would just let me WATCH THE DAMN VIDEO
How could Robin Williams the most funniest man on the planet take his own life he's suffered in silence
@marcanderson9211
Жыл бұрын
His brain was being slowly destroyed by a horrible disease. He knew it; he knew it would only get worse; and he knew it was terminal. That’s a hard thing to carry.
@marcanderson9211
Жыл бұрын
Also, as different areas of your brain deteriorate and die, your capacity for rational thought and reasoning can go with it. Dementia in any form is just horrible, for the patient and the family / friends.
@user-fb1dr6be4y
Жыл бұрын
@@marcanderson9211 he suffered in silence yeah the loving daughter that was devastated you don't know what you're talkin about you're fired
@neen42
Жыл бұрын
@@user-fb1dr6be4y he absolutely knows what he's talking about. Anyone who has had a loved one suffer and linger with dementia before dying an unrecognizable shell of a person would know that.
Recommend them to get professional help
@annie8230
Жыл бұрын
A friend is worth 1000x more than a stranger therapist
@isaurogomez6752
Жыл бұрын
No TRUST. " WE " , the OLD PEOPLE, NOW VERY WELL HOW " THE DOCTORS AND EXPERTS" WORK. I'LL GO TO A DR., ONLY IF THERE IS NO OTHER WAY. ALL THEY WANT IS %$$$$$$$%%%%$$.
@isaurogomez6752
Жыл бұрын
@@annie8230 ABSOLUTELY 💯 !!! SALUDOS CORDIALES. 🙏
@sharifaa.8887
Жыл бұрын
My friend tried, but the psychologist she went to the first time went off telling her his own story and she felt she hadn't been helped at all. She hasn't tried again. 🙁 and she has been miserable recently and saying worrisome things. And she has chronic disease as well.
@JimBoom92
Жыл бұрын
If you cant solve your inner problems yourself then you must be stupid to think that some therapist could do that for a lot of money... i would rather learn to live with it or kill myself before visiting such an 'expert'. But maybe stupid people can be helped to see what they are not able to see on their own... i somehow learned to enjoy my suffering, its called living.
❤
❤