Herzlich willkommen. Es ist schön, daß du in Deutschland angekommen bist. Manchmal dauert es etwas länger, bis man merkt, daß man zwei „Heimaten“ hat. Aber „doppelt hält besser“.

Ich habe den Eindruck, dass ganz viele native English speakers Schwierigkeiten haben, sich mit der Zweitsprache anzufreunden. Ich war selbst nach der Schule AuPair in Neuseeland und mir ist erst dabei so richtig klar geworden, dass Englisch-Muttersprachler daran gewöhnt sind, sich in ihrer eigenen Sprache einfach überall verständigen zu können. Für die meisten ist es einfach unvorstellbar, eine andere Sprache sprechen zu müssen. Dein Deutsch ist so gut - jeder deutsche Muttersprachler wird dich dafür bewundern, denn Deutsch ist eine schwere Sprache und du hast sie erst als Erwachsene gelernt. Ich denke, du solltest versuchen mindestens genauso viele Kontakte zu deutschsprachigen Leuten zu haben wie zu englischsprachigen. Das ist der einzige Weg, sich nicht mehr fremd in der Kultur zu fühlen und diese unsichtbare Barriere abzubauen. Erst wenn du engere Kontakte auf deutsch hast, wirst du lockerer und kannst dich entspannen.

@helilebon614

2 жыл бұрын

Da viele Deutsche zumindest etwas Englisch sprechen und auch den Anspruch haben, es zu zeigen, sind native English speakers nicht genügend motiviert, Deutsch zu sprechen. Leute, die eine "kleine" Sprache sprechen, zum Beispiel Finnisch, lernen viel schneller Deutsch.

I totally understand all of this! I have felt anxiety so many times since moving here, and it largely has to do with not speaking German really well yet. I also feel badly for making a German speak English with me - I always start a conversation in German, but then it usually changes to English. I’ve not encountered a person yet who was annoyed with me - they’ve all been so kind, patient and understanding. We’ve got mostly on German friends here, but maybe that’s because we’re in a small town and there are hardly any foreigners here. So it’s forced us to not live in a bubble and integrate faster. But I’m so glad to hear you’re feeling more comfortable and confident!

@meisen1988

2 жыл бұрын

Also a point: Many germans with at least decent knowledge of the english language take the opportunity to actively speak to native speakers, to improve their own english, and to make it easier to communicate for you guys. We appreciate your efforts, if you put any in learning german, but to us it´s no problem to speak english to make you more comfortable.

@quo33

2 жыл бұрын

I wouldn't worry about that, we're used to humouring Americans. XDD

@AntoinetteEmily

2 жыл бұрын

You're doing a fantastic job of integrating into German life. SO proud of you my friend!! xx

@MyMerryMessyGermanLife

2 жыл бұрын

@@quo33 🤣🤣🤣

@MyMerryMessyGermanLife

2 жыл бұрын

@@meisen1988 that’s so kind. I’ve never had anyone be rude to me when I’m stumbling around in German. They always try to help, and I’m so grateful for that.

Kids from Germans don´t experience the lifes which their German parents had as kids either. Times are changing that much even within a certain society and their culture. Today the life circumstances are simply totally different than as it was in my childhood...and my childhood was totally different in comparision to my parent´s childhood and so on. All you have to do is to offer a joyful life for your kids where ever you are. And I think in that aspect you are making a tremendous job according to how your kids appear in your vlogs.

You shouldn't worry so much about the level of your German and what people think of you. Your German is so good and you are such a lovely and genuine person. You are an asset to Germany and to your community and we can call ourselves lucky to have you here!

Establishing close friendships among local people always helps one to feel more integrated in the culture. As I was a young child, my family moved from the U.S. to Germany. My father was born and grew up in Germany, so he didn't have a problem. But it took a long time for my mother to adapt and it was very difficult for her; she was homesick all the time and felt socially isolated and depressed. But eventually she made friends in Germany and it became easier for her to accept her new home.

Those who don't want to close a door behind them end up spending their lives in the hallway.

@Amalung54

2 жыл бұрын

Wow, well said...

@slidenapps

2 жыл бұрын

Love it!

@agnes15101968

2 жыл бұрын

A good saying!

@AntoinetteEmily

2 жыл бұрын

Love this!!

Es ist schön, dass Sie diese Stufe erreicht haben und sich besser fühlen. Ich stelle es mir nicht einfach vor wenn man feststellt, dass die Kinder ja hier aufwachsen und sich dementsprechend auch hier mehr verwurzeln, auch wenn man sich das vorher vielleicht etwas "verteilter" vorgestellt hatte. Ich wünsche Ihnen weiterhin alles Gute und Glück mit Ihrer Familie und in Ihrem neuen Haus. Ach ja: die Sorge, dass man wegen seiner Sprachbemühungen komisch angesehen oder gar ausgelacht wird, ist völlig unbegründet. Ich habe öfters im europäischen Ausland beruflich zu tun gehabt und dabei festgestellt, dass die Sprache im Grunde nie ein größeres Problem darstellte. Interessant ist auch zu sehen, wie ähnlich man sich doch im Grunde ist, denn gerade als Deutsche haben wir oft große Zweifel wenn wir uns in einer Fremdsprache unterhalten sollen, die wir (vermeintlich) nicht gut können. Selbst wenn unsere Sprachkenntnisse dafür völlig ausreichen - wir sind eben ungern "nicht gut" in irgendeiner Sache... Andererseits bin ich jedesmal begeistert wenn jemand aus dem Ausland deutsch spricht, egal wie holprig, und bewundere denjenigen dafür und kann ihn nur bestärken weiterzumachen, auch und gerade weil ich weiß dass die deutsche Sprache relativ schwierig ist.

Of course, the mothers like talking to you! You are such a nice and friendly person and it's interesting talking to some one from such an interesting country. I think they are thrilled that they can meet you and talk to you - and it doesn't matter at all if your German isn't absolutely perfect. On the contrary: it can be quite charming.☺

I'm a German living in NZ, Hawkes Bay. And I felt the same for a really long time. Thanks for sharing.

@AntoinetteEmily

2 жыл бұрын

Wow, you live in my beautiful hometown. Oh, how I miss Hawkes Bay!

Oh Antoinette... German people will admire and respect you for integrating with them and speaking their language (even if your German was bad they would still respect you for trying), and you will never lose your NZ identity....you simply have dual identity now. Your kids were born and raised there and that's their normal life, so they won't feel like they are missing out on anything to do with NZ....having family there and visiting will just be a big bonus to them, something that your average child doesn't have. I am British ( English) and used to live in France many years ago, but although I fully integrated with the French and their way of life ( there was no one at all there with English as their native language) I never felt like I was losing my English identity. People told me they admired me for fully mixing and speaking their language, and living like them. This pandemic is a total pain but it's not going to last forever. Love you and your family....keep your chin up 💖

Extra für Dich auf Deutsch: Du bist auf dem richtigen Weg und ich freue mich so für Dich! Ich denke nicht, das irgendein Deutscher perfektes Deutsch von Dir erwartet - die meisten werden Dich dafür bewundern wie gut Du Deutsch sprichst. Ich finde es immer total interessant, mich mit nicht-deutschen Muttersprachlern auf Deutsch zu unterhalten, weil es Spaß macht ist und ich gerne helfe, wenn es mal hakt. Außerdem kann ich so auch meinen Horizont erweitern, weil ich etwas über andere Länder und Kulturen lernen kann. Ich freue mich sehr für Dich und wünsche Dir und Deiner Familie alles Gute ❤

Oh wow, so timely! Thank you so much for opening up about your experience, I had to pause it at minute 3 to stop and reflect at how you just gave me the advice I needed to hear. I'm a US expat in the UK with my German partner and I've felt so displaced these past 2 years, we moved here right before the pandemic and it was not the welcoming we were hoping for. I've spent so much time wishing I was somewhere else, wishing that things were different, and this is the wake up call I needed. There are great things around us, and great people, spending all this time wishing things we can't control were different steals it all away! Thank you

Vielen Dank, dass du deine Gefühle mit uns teilst. Du hast sehr verständlich erklärt, worum es geht. Erlaube dir, dich hier wohl und angekommen zu fühlen ohne deine Identität scheinbar zu "verraten". Du bleibst deswegen trotzdem, wer du bist. Deinen Kindern gibst du ganz viel von dir und den "Kiwi-Wurzeln" mit, auch ohne in Neuseeland zu leben. Alles Gute für Dich und deine Familie! Liebe Grüße Kerstin

Wow, just wow, dear Antoinette. How heart warming it is to listen about the journey to your inner self, and by doing so bringing *visible* peace to your soul. This video is really breath-taking, at least to me, guest #1 since the beginning. ,) Take care bella, and enjoy life with your beautiful kids and your handsome spouse. BTW, did I mention that I do adore women turning wise? ,)

Thanks for this video. I Can relate in so many ways. I am from Germany and moved to Ireland when I was twenty. I loved it there but avoided to get to know irish people and stayed for many years in my german bubble. In my mind I thought don't want to get "to" Irish since it wasn't a permanent stay. Reality was that I stayed 8 years moved back to germany and missed Irelanf terribly so I moved back to Ireland. This time I joined clubs and gained really good irish friends... After about 7 years I startet to miss Germany and idealized it.. Moved back and missed Ireland... So now I am in Germany - married with kid... I love my life here but part of me will always miss Ireland and my Irish friends. And who knows maybe once my husband and I will be retired and our son lives on his own we both will be living in Ireland. And if not - it will always be the greatest place for Holidays 🍀 All the best to you ❤️

Congrats, Antoinette ☺️ It's so enjoyable to see you happy!

As a native English speaker, remember all those times you met foreigners in NZ that often did not speak English perfectly? Now you're in their position in a different country and the native speakers will react just as you did back then and not mind if their language spoken by you isn't perfect. In fact, they'll probably be happy you break the ice (and perceived language barrier) and be rather curious to learn more about NZ as they probably don't meet a Kiwi often. :)

@Mirabellism

2 жыл бұрын

You nailed it. That's exactly what I was thinking during the whole video.

This is such an upbeat video, dear. It’s great to listen to you being so confident telling us about such positive moments you had with German people! It made me smile 😊 I‘m sorry though that you can’t see your family, that must be so hard 🥺

Thank you for opening up and sharing your emotions! So many are struggling right now, so it's wonderful that you help normalize the conversation 💕

I just saw your post today. It makes me happy to hear you are liking living in Germany. I came to Germany 46 years ago from the U.S. Having a German husband and living with my mother-law I Had to learn German fast. After a year my husband said we will only speak German until you can speak it well. I love Germany but I will always have a connection to America. I enjoy watching what you post.

Such an honest good video. Straight from the heart. Don't the down turns of life make you relish the ups even more? So glad you pulled yourself out of the minset of missing where you couldn't be. One of the most important things to do is focus whole heartedly on what you are doing at that moment to the exclusion of all else - even if it's carrying a cup of water, it forces the mind to stop wandering to things that are not real in the moment.

I really love the openness and honesty of this video. I can relate a lot to this, especially with language and deciding where to live due to having a partner with a different nationality. I had similar worries when speaking German but one day I decided to stop blocking myself from progressing further and now I have improved a lot and actually enjoy trying to speak (even when I know I'll make plenty of mistakes). I think you should be so proud of your progress and this video helped me to reflect too! So thanks for making it! :)

Good morning 🌞☕ Thanks for your lovely impressive and honest videos. One of the best I've seen in last couple of years about that topic. You have done so many wonderful things and you are about to raise three adorable kid's. I've people give us a chance, people could find out that we are not that bad and we have more to offer than expats would believe, even if we need sometimes a little bit longer to come closer. And like you said it in your video, I've you don't think so much about it, your German skills are much better than you believe. Have the self-confidence, don't be afraid of making a mistake, important is to talk and with the experience you will improve your skills. You have done so many things in your life, i will do that as well. Thanks for letting us being part of life and telling us your thoughts. That's very interesting 🕯️🍀 Please stay safe and take care.

Sounds like a bad dose of homesickness. I experienced it too when I lived in Germany, even though England is a lot closer. Sometimes on the spur of the moment i would leave work slightly earlier on the coming Friday, then I rushed home to my apartment, threw a few items of clothing into a holdall, then drove to Ostend in Belgium where I parked my Beetle in a side street for the weekend and then travelled by ferry to Dover as a foot passenger. The channel crossing took 4 hours and it was always an adventure standing at the prow on deck as the ferry approached Dover. Once in Dover, I took the early milk train (5:00 am) to London, which stopped at my local station. Then I had a 2 mile walk to my mum and dad's house. It was always a great feeling to see my mum peering out of the kitchen window to see who was coming up the drive at such an hour. Then she'd recognise me and a look of joy came over her face. The trip was worth it just for that. But I only had Saturday to enjoy at home, and then on the Sunday I left for the railway station to catch a train back to Dover and the ferry to Ostend. Then I had a 4 hour drive back to Cologne in order to start work again on Monday morning. I must have done that trip several times during the years I lived in Cologne. But it was always cathartic and would tide me over until the summer, or Christmas when I went home to England for much longer and took the car on the ferry. On all those short trips home my car was parked in that back street in Ostend all weekend and never got broken into, stolen or vandalised. It was the 1970s.

Great!I like your approach and wish you many,many more wonderful and memorable moments with friends and family here in Germany

you shouldn't be embarrassed of a few grammar mistakes - but be proud of all the words and languages you already know

Thank you for this honest video! I am so happy for you! Expat life is full of difficulties and emotions, and you don't need to make a decision one way or the other for forever. About two years ago we decided to remigrate back to the Netherlands from living as expats in New Zealand for three years, and it was also very hard, it felt like a failure to not be able to stay, and when we got back things were obviously not the same as when we left, everyone had moved on with their lives, and cultural things were different from what we remembered. All in all, I am now slowly settling back in, enjoying the moment like you said.

You are living what I call “in the meantime “. When I go through uncertainty or rough times or actually all or any times, I tell myself “in the meantime” I will live my life and embrace all my joys, big and small. I know I am here to learn many lessons about life on this planet. Hang in there until you can get to your other home and “in the meantime “ enjoy your life and give yourself permission to own your feelings. You are inspiring to many viewers. 👋 from Tennessee USA

Aww that's so nice to hear 😊

Wie schön, dass Du "eventually" angekommen bist! Herzlich willkommen!

One of your best posts ! Take Care.

Schön, den Titel zu lesen. Jeder Mensch sollte leben können, wo er sich zu Hause fühlt. Natürlich stellt sich dabei die Frage, was Heimat eigentlich genau ist. Darüber denke ich seit längerem nach...

Thank you for your honesty. And yes, I can fully understand that probably the greatest border is the mental one in your head. And, as the Borg would say: resistance is futile! It seems you are starting to assimilate. But you will still remain a real „Kiwi“! Simply take the best of both worlds!

Thank you. My mother was english, mooved to germany in 1963. Listening to you Made me understand her more. Times where different then. No Internet, phone calls very expensive. The differences where greater between England and germany, for example regards to Child care. I Think it was hard for her.

Antoinette don't be so hard on yourself when it comes to your german! You live in franconia!!! I love Accents

Thank you for sharing your experience. It is very relatable and helpful to hear. As a fellow language learner I appreciate everything you said. Sharing your truth is so beautiful. ✨

So relatable. You've described so much of what I also feel as a Brit raising a family in Germany. Thank you!

Thank you for sharing this. This just opened my eyes to a similar situation I am seeing in my life. I did not move to another country, but, still made a drastic culture change when we moved out of the amish culture into modern culture. There are definitely some good things about growing up amish that I wish that my children could experience and I found myself yearning for those things so much that I became distracted and unfocused to the here and now. The here and now is of ultimate importance because it will determine the future. Today is a special day because it is the first day of the rest of my life.

That is fantastic and I am so happy that You realized certain things about your Feelings or situation. If You are YOU , ppl will see you for what you are and you are definately a wonderful Lady. You Rock Lady 👩‍👧‍👦👌

Hallo Antoinnette, ich bin mir sicher, dass Du sehr gut deutsch sprichst und dass Du hier in Deutschland sehr gut zurecht kommst. Und ich finde es toll, dass Du endlich in Deutschland "angekommen " bist und Dich hier zuhause fühlst. Und das alles trotz der doofen Nachbarn. Liebe Grüße aus Düsseldorf. ❤

Wonderful video!!! I'm sure when the time comes when you can take them to New Zealand, they will love it. For now, from their point of view, having lived most of their life there in Germany, it feels like their natural home.I came to the US at 5 years of age from Germany, have been to Germany many times and love it. I'd love to visit New Zealand!!!!

Congratulations! ❤️ What you experience sounds very healthy.

Wow, what a wonderfully honest and personal insight! I hope it's ok if I point one thing out: You're pretty harsh towards yourself: Hosting a birthday party in another language and country is not a "small thing"! Your thoughts about losing touch with New Zealand aren't "rubbish" - I mean, of course you will over the years forget little things here and there. And that can be sad sometimes - and at the same time, you're having a great time in Germany, which is more important to you right now! Both things can be true at the same time. I hope I didn't make too many assumptions. Again, great video!

Glad to hear, that you feel more at home now. There is always a time needed for adjustment. Sometimes it takes longer than what you secretly expected. I was born and raised in Germany and now live in the States. As a German, it was expected of us early on in school to learn not one but sometimes 2 or more foreign languages. Since English is considered the business language around the world, it is essential to know it well and most Germans do, especially the younger generations. Whereas in English speaking countries, it is more taken for granted that everyone else speaks English too, and why should I have to learn another language attitude, especially in the States and then, when they travel or even move to another country, they are intimidated and feel isolated, instead of embracing their new world and language. Granted, German is not an easy language to learn but the more you immerse yourself in it, the better you get and the better you will feel about living there. Wishing you many new friendships there.

I'm so happy you had these nice experiences with the parents of your kids and that you found the strength and courage to talk german more casually. So happy found more joy in your life 🧡

I want to thank you for this update on your personal feelings and thoughts and I'm happy for you to this positive outcome to be "finally arrived" at your new home country. You are right, establishing close friendships with other local people to become integrated is the key. The hardest part about feeling like you've arrived is, of course, your own feelings. Especially as an adult, it's hard to accept yourself as you are. You always want to be perfect and don't want to admit your weaknesses. And the more educated you are, the harder it is to let go and to accept this. Children have a much easier time of it here; they accept the situation as it is, don't expose themselves to their own pressure, and still continue to develop. It's not about perfection or denying one's origins. Be proud of being a kiwi and of what you have achieved in your life. Everything else will come naturally. Just take it as it comes, think positive and don't put too much pressure on yourself. We love you just the way you are. Regardless, I am of course happy for you when you can hopefully visit your family in NZ again next year. And if you need a laugh in the meantime, check out the YT-channel of "Shirley Șerban", a kiwi who uses that sad time due to covid and parodies popular songs. Simply hilarious.

I think the pandemic has really been a catalyst for a lot of people living abroad, especially from NZ seeing as the borders have been closed so long and the way those living abroad have been talked about in media. Personally, living in Germany, I also had a similar tendency as you to say 'well maybe I'll go home at some point', but not having the option of going home anymore has made me really re-evaluate my life in Germany and fully invest in it/put myself out there so I really feel at home here. I thought I felt at home before but now it's on a whole other level. I no longer need the prospect of going 'home' as an endpoint (either for a holiday or permanently) for me to be happy. I'm glad you are also able to find new ways of feeling at home here too!

Man merkt dir an, wie sehr du Neuseeland vermisst, und es tut mir so leid, dass du zurzeit nicht deine Familie in NZ besuchen kannst! Ich hoffe sehr, dass die Situation bald ein bisschen besser wird. Bei mir ist es fast umgekehrt. Ich bin in Deutschland aufgewachsen, aber wollte mein ganzes Leben lang nach Großbritannien ziehen, aber durch den Brexit ist alles ziemlich kompliziert und jetzt habe ich eine neue Arbeitsstelle in Jena (Thüringen), über die ich sehr glücklich bin. Es steht erst einmal nicht in Aussicht, dass ich auswandere. Wenn man immer daran denkt, wie es wohl wäre, wenn man dort ist, wo man sein möchte, dann kommt man nie richtig an. Ich umarme dich (unbekannterweise) und wünsche dir einen schönen Winter in D!

Freut mich für dich als auch deine Familie, dass Du nun angekommen bist. Welcome to germania.

Tolles Video! Ich kann dich total verstehen! Du machst es super! Du packst das Problem am Schopfe ;)

No worries about the German grammar. Even we Germans struggle sometimes. Speaking in a foreign language (no matter which one) is for anyone difficult, especially at the beginning. As we Germans say "den inneren Schweinehund ueberwinden". And Germans have the reputation to be unfriendly, and always lifting an eyebrow if someone doesn't speak perfect German (and yes, you have always the chance to meet someone like that), but overall, Germans are much more open minded. You did a good step in inviting people over for the birthday party, or Halloween. Be prepared, that you will get invitations too from your kids friend's parents. And don't say "no", be open, and embrace that. The German parents might be as hesitating towards you, as you are/were towards them. You did the first step towards them, they will do the same with you now (as much as Covid will allow of course).

Sweet cool video on the fly

I can only congratulate you on your capability being able - and feeling at ease - to fully participate in German conversational talk! Emerging oneself into another culture is never easy - but it can enrich one's personality, insights and - last not least - happiness! With it you do not have to loose your own identity, though - its an additional treasure, which I hope you can pass on to your children! 🤗

Don't ever worry again about not speaking german well enough! We don't really care if it is perfect as long as it is understandable and we appreciate tve effort. And I think next year you should definitely be able to travel to New Zealand to meet all your family and friends. Stay happy!

Hi, similar experience here. My daughter's Kita gave me so many opportunities to make German friends.

Hey Antoinette, I'm really happy you had this experience! It's exactly what I feel when talking in Spanish to my husband's family or when I'm around Spaniards. Not caring so much and relaxing is the key! I wish I could always do that in those situations! Hope you can, you seem so happy and glowing! :-)

Who would NOT want to come and hang out with you at your place?! You are such a positive person, and as an expat you have interesting perspectives to offer as well. Add coffee and cake - well, the success is guaranteed! I know what you mean, though: I am new in Germany (3 months), and even though my Germany is good and getting better, I still have "issues" with phone calls - making them and answering them. Writing in German is an adventure as well - every so often I wonder what, exactly, I am saying when I text people... ;) Hang in there, Antoinette - you so obviously have all the best times ahead of you in Germany! Don't get too hung up on how good/bad your German is: language is for communication, and those around you will want to talk to you! Also, you don't have to make any big decisions like "Germany forever" or "Never again New Zealand." I left my home country (Denmark) nearly 30 years ago and have since lived in different countries, the US being the longest stint. I never felt the urge to stay and grow old in the US, but I also did not have a definite "always and forever country" in mind. The expat community is an interesting territory with a lot of fun and interesting people, and lots of us will always have some issues with where we live vs where we believe we might feel more at home. I think the trick is to view your life as an opportunity to learn and grow, and then maybe some day you and hubby will look at each other and realize that you are ready for a change of scenery. Or you will become hybrids like so many of us - fitting into more than one country and being ok with that. Also, you might realize that no matter where you are at, you might always miss another country, be it Germany, New Zealand or another country.

I love this so much I m a german living in New Zealand.. and struggle with the exact same issue. Panic of losing my identity and myself if I allow myself to accept this place as my home.. still so homesick for my family in germany, after 9 years and 2 kids still not fully here. Still holding myself back instead of letting go and accepting :/

Herzlichen Glückwunsch! Sie verlieren hier nichts, Sie gewinnen vieles hinzu und genauso Ihre Umgebung wird durch Sie bereichert, also für alle eine win-win-Situation!

Most important is that you like who you are. Don't think you loose yourself, cause it's not an either or question. It's about gaining a new perspective of things and how they are handled. Don't be disappointed if they are not 10 new bff within a second. Like in marriage and social intercourses it's about give and take, to spend time and create shared memories. Sometimes it's even work. Like helping with moving.🙂 Your direction is right and your mood will become better and better, i'm sure. Ciao

I loved the video and so much of what you said I can absolutely relate to. I am a German currently living in Australia but have been living overseas, also in the USA and different countries of the UK, for the past 12 years. Parts of integration are very easy and other parts are harder. I found for example in Australia, that it wasn't easy making friends with Aussies. I have a lot of international friends but not as many Aussie friends. I think parts of that stems from the concept that foreigners come without a support system and existing friend circle when they move to a new country, whereas the natives have their support network and friend circle, so they do not as actively seek out new circles as foreigners, or people new to a city/place etc. Also, I think we tend to gravitate to where we feel understood and other foreigners understand the struggles of living in a new place, new culture with new rules, potentially new language and so on, whereas a lot of natives who haven't themselves lived overseas, do not understand it. They often try and are empathetic but shared experiences bind differently. I learned to not be too hard on myself and let integration flow at its' own pace. However, I agree that being friends with the natives helps feeling at home in a country and once you got some native friends, they usually love sharing their culture :)

Hallo Antoinette, es ist schön zu sehen, dass du in Deutschland Wurzeln schlägst und dein Baum Blüten treibt. Das wird nun jedes Jahr schöner. Genieße es. 🙂 Und denk daran: Stelle in deiner Straße am 2.advent gut sichtbar einen Grill auf und grille ein paar Würstchen. Einfach so. Warte ab, was passiert.

Welcome!;-) Just jump into our language and have fun! We all learn english in school-so, if you miss some words in germany- just ask. Everyone will be proud, if he can help you. I think, you are not loosing your identity, staying here. You will get some new, what can be very inspiring, interesting and exciting. So i hope you will enjoy it.

Hallo! Ich kann mir vorstellen das diese Entscheidung sich hier niederzulassen nicht ganz einfach ist ! Aber ich verfolge schon seit langer Zeit ihre Videos,und ich muss Sagen sie sahen immer glücklich aus ! Neuseeland ist ja nicht Grade um die Ecke und sicherlich hängt die Heimat noch an ihrem Herzen ,was die Sache nicht einfacher macht sich hier niederzulassen! Ich Wünsche ihnen und ihrer Familie hier in Deutschland nur das Beste! Mögen alle ihre Wünsche in Erfüllung gehen,und sie nie enttäuscht werden diese Entscheidung getroffen zu haben ! Mit freundlichen Grüssen !

I'm glad that you've had this realization and can enjoy enjoying your life in Germany. I'm not sure if I'll always live in Germany, but I've had a similar realization in the past year, which is that if we do stay here, I'd be fine with it and I can love a life here, despite missing home.

I think you’re doing great.

I'm an Australian living in Finalnd (with husband & 3 kids). I try to see the positive side of things. It calms me to think that Finland is a safe place in which covid is not hindering me from living live to the fullest. We travelled abroad recently (Estonia and Latvia), no lockdowns, hardly any need to wear a mask.... so I feel blessed to be here

@slidenapps

2 жыл бұрын

Exactly. I am happy I don't live in Germany, France, the UK, Canada, Australia or NZ right now.

@aguafria9565

2 жыл бұрын

New Zealander in Poland. Life returned to normal here about 6 months ago.

@theotherwayofstopping4717

2 жыл бұрын

This NZer wishes he was in Poland right now....although I think Ardern did a decent job initially, they seem to have lost control and it's fast becoming a sick joke here. Would love to visit Poland though!

@aniinnrchoque1861

2 жыл бұрын

@@aguafria9565 Poland is due to have rising case numbers. I've just come back to Germany from Ukraine and both countries are experiencing the first of the expected winter waves. Spillover effects have already manifested.

@aguafria9565

2 жыл бұрын

@@aniinnrchoque1861 Yes, we've had some increase in daily cases, but personally I don't see how this is going to affect daily life. Vaccination rate is about 50% and the rest are likely to have natural immunity. My experience as someone vaccinated is that you'll get sick the second time, but it's no where near as severe. My partner and daughter are unvaccinated and they have been sick for a few months (not tested, could be winter illness, but my guess is it's a combination of both). Life for them more or less continues as normal. Preschool attendance is unaffected, but kids are sick and not always attending. We had severe restrictions last year, but I wonder whether we've learnt from that and can instead still be a functioning society without completely isolating people.

Congratulations, you did the right thing. Get out of your comfort zone and show some effort and you will be wellcomed everywhere. I live in a town with a US Army Post and I knew many spouses who 've be afraid to leave the Post and go downtown because of the languagebarrier. They started counting the days till they could go home again on the day they arrived. What a waste of livetime. Your german is good, don't be shy.

Interesting analysis. Yes, life is short and unpredictable. You have to enjoy where you are when you are. Glad that you are in a better mental space.

I soooo feel you! Me and my daughter are Germans living in India and as much as we love it I was missing Germany soooo much during lockdown esp. We haven’t been in Germany for whole 3 years also due to Covid. I was in such a bad mood, kinda like depression, online classes going on for the 2nd school year which makes me crazy! I can’t do this anymore. I just hope it gets better in some way and looks like that now we gonna see our German family during Christmas this year, coz we also really need the German Christmas spirit! Sending you love and strength from India!

Ich freue mich so für Dich. 😊💕

I know how you feel. I'm living in West Virginia and my family is in Michigan. I miss them but I try not to let it get me down too much

I am a German of 58 years. Congratulation you are getting wise!

Yeah, makes perfect sense to feel that way. To think living in Germany or any other foreign country will just be a period in your life, and that you would finally settle in your home country in the end. It will always take a while to really arrive somewhere.

Good for you Antoinette

Christmas in summer (like in New Zealand) is inconceivable for me. I would miss the Christmas atmosphere. *Maybe it's all a matter of habit!?* 🎄🌟

@jessicaely2521

2 жыл бұрын

It is habit. I cant stand having Christmas in the cold. I grew up close to Miami which is the warmest city in the US. Now I live up North. It's disgusting. It's cold and it generally snows. You cant enjoy the outdoors without bundling up.

Ich bin ein stiller Zuhörer - wollte dir aber mitteilen das es mich absolut freut dass du diese Einsichten hattest. Ohne eine stille permanente Selbstüberzeugung in seinen Gedanken sondern das tatsächlich empfundene Gefühl von Zugehörigkeit, Akzeptanz und "zu Hause" wirst du somit (außerhalb des Familienalltages) noch mehr von DEM empfinden, auf das es runtergebrochen seelisch ankommt: Glück und Zufriedenheit

Your video title is basically what I've been thinking about lately.

Wow, that's such an achievement you have come to! Some people never get there. True, committing does not mean giving up your identity, but it means taking things as they are and making the best out of them. Living your life now instead of waiting and being unhappy. My partner is from Finland and we are living in Germany. I hope he will also come to the point were you have come.

Antoinette, you sound like a German with a kiwi accent 🤭 Great video!! The biggest piece of advice I received 12 years ago, moving from South Africa to New Zealand, is "submit to a new culture" . Just be YOU🧡 Lots of Aroha from Aoteoroa 🧡

Your kids are happy. They're really more German, and they're having a great childhood. Central Europe is a great place, central, lots of diversity, different countries and cultures, cute towns, the prettiest holiday locations, the best food... and yeah, great Christmas! Also I think a more healthy lifestyle in general. And anyway, life today is not like 30 years ago anyway. Anywhere. Life today is different, that's just how it is. But you can always go on very long holidays in NZ with the kids. I wouldn't move there with kids though. Emilia will soon be grown, and then Nz is so far from everything. Who knows where she might want to study or something.

We were in a similar situation after we moved into a new Dorf. And the situation was broken up the same way: Contact with other parents with kids with similar age, similar mindset and similar problems. The solution was similar also, parts of the group we shared our time with changed and we became locally known. Seems to me you are just going through that same integration process into your community. In 25 years you probably will be telling this to your daughter as well, when she is in the process of settling down.

of course you give up a part of your personality while integrating in another culture. but the good side is you can choose wich part it is. for your new-zealand friends you're "the german" and for the german friends you're "the kiwi". But with that your personality grows and evolves. And the other cultures are enriched by your experiences. So all in all it's a good thing. Good to hear you're feeling better. have a good time and enjoy!

Feeling at home in two countries is something great. Otherwise you could as well say: "I feel guilty to love Luca, because he's taking away some time that I would be able to spend with Rob or Amelia or Matheo." You can part your love between all of them and they all feel this love as if it's just one person. Love isn't something that gets less intensive when you spread more of it. Same thing with the love for your two "homelands" ;-)

Wow. I watched your report with great interest. It is interesting to see that people who live here from other countries and enjoy life here are a little torn where their hearts are beating. But it's kind of natural. New Zealand will always be your anchor. And as for the language: I've had the experience that it doesn't matter whether you speak the language perfectly or not. A good friend had his girlfriend from Canada over here. I also tried to pronounce everything perfectly. At one point she said to me: "Don't think about the individual words and whether they fit perfectly. Just talk to me. I think I will understand you in most cases." After that I had a great chat with her.

@martinduften9429

2 жыл бұрын

Thanks for your Heart.

I learned so much from this video. I have a totally different life but some parallels and there the same "psycho traps". Far too few people talk about this (or the similar) topics, although thousands of thousands of people experience this.

you are such a nice person, I do understand all of your emotions about living in another country, with another language, but YOU do that very well, your kids will help you with that very much, kids have friends, this friends have parents.... so, that will work very fine, like you 👍

Just learn from your kids. It's so easy for kids to connect with other kids, regardless of heritage or language. We all can learn a lot from them cause they are free of fear and prejudice and don't care whether they might embarrass themselves by using a wrong word. Hell, I have an American friend and the language barrier hits me all the time as a German but we laugh it off and in the end I end up learning a new word, lol. Don't be afraid of communicating in German. After all Germany has always been an immigration country, so in a lot of supposed to be German families you'll find foreign roots. We're much more open minded than you think we are. You should give both, yourself and the German people a bit more credit =) Glad tho you're finally feeling more comfortable. A great way to spend time with German friends are game evenings with board games for example... In case you and your hubby are into that :)

Thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings. The most important realisation was 'it's all in my head'. Yeah, most Germans are not going to be annoyed if someone they know is not native here ( and i doubt you try to keep that a secret) doesn't speak perfect German. They will rather be astonished how well they already do speak German. Germans are all aware that their language is hard. So they expect mistakes like using the wrong articles or stuff like that. I am really happy for you that you finally feel as ease when you speak German with other Germans. Thats really a big step. Best wishes for you and your family.

I am so happy for you.

I think I've gone through a similar process recently. I've only been in Europe for five years (Germany 4.5) and I don't have a family here but until recently (probably a few months to a year ago) being from NZ was a core part of my identity but recently I feel less of that connection. We are experiencing a global pandemic in an entirely different way than people back in NZ and I've come to understand that NZ has this very insular view. I feel less connected to being from NZ now because I have a very different experience now. And I can relate to being terrible at social German! I can have a whole doctor's visit in German but I can't chat with someone in a queue.

Schade, dass man nur einen Daumen hoch geben kann. Vermutlich macht das jeder irgendwie durch, der woanders lebt, als er aufgewachsen ist. Egal ob man aus einem Land weit weg stammt mit komplett anderer Sprache, wie Du oder nur in Deutschland umgezogen ist. Jeder Landstich in Deutschland hat andere Mentalitäten. Das ist glaube ich normal, dass man "seine" Kultur vermisst, ev. auch das Essen oder sonstige Dinge/Kultur. Irgendwann hat man zwei Heimaten - eine aus der man stammt und eine die man sich gewählt hat. Man kann beide gern haben. Viel Unterhalten hilft mit der Sprache, ist egal ob man Fehler macht. Entweder werden sie (freundlich) verbessert (wir sind Deutsche) oder ignoriert oder drüber gelacht. Weiter so!

Wow! Thank you for sharing! Enjoy the NOW, it is all that you have and it is all that there is, no mater where you are geographically. If you can not enjoy the NOW, then every moment is wasted and perhaps even held in contempt. It is good to see that you are recognizing the NOW.

Hi Antoinette you are a really cool person. You are such a nice woman everyone should like you. Once you get rid of beeing afraid talking German, conversations are much more relaxed. I made a similar experience the other way around but without living in an English speeking country. In my case it is to work in an international operating company and always having contact to people from other countries. First I was afraid to talk because my English was terrible but I was forced to communicate. At some point I thought I do no longer give a shit what foreigner think of my English I am not a native speaker so they have to live with my grammar and basic vocabluar. Since then it was much easier for me and as well to the others as I noticed later.

Hey, communicating with people around you is all about contact! And not about being able to speak "perfectly". I work with foreigners, in Germany, and I am perfectly (!) HAPPY if they understand me and I understand them - I don't care if they make grammer mistakes, I don't even hear these mistakes anymore. Thank you for sharing your insights with us!

Being oneself in another country in another language is hard and brave and terrifying and lonely, all at the same time and you’re doing great! Nobody expects you to be perfect in German, you can be you and people will just come to terms with the odd language hiccup or you feeling insecure, you’re lovely the way you are. Have fun and make friends!

Hi Antoinette, I wanted to add my perspective on keeping your options open as an expat. I'm from South Africa (Living in Germany now), and I'm sure you would know that things are really quite bad in South Africa in terms of crime and other socio-economic issues. This fact makes it very easy for me to accept the idea of not going back to SA, simply because I would be putting myself and my family in danger, not just physically but also financially. I think its so much harder when you come from a country that is quite stable socially and economically. Because really, what reason is there to not live there? Its just something that has been on my mind lately. I'm glad you're at peace with your path in life and know that Germany has so much good to offer you and your family.

Von einer, die sich selbst oft im Ausland ins kalte Wasser geworfen hat: Es ist so schön, zu hören, dass du dich in Deutschland zuhause fühlst. Du kannst sehr stolz darauf sein, dass du deine Angst überwunden hast!

It's good you put it off your chest, feels like sb took the weight of your shoulders. No need to worry! You'll be fine. It's Not a mutual exclusive, you can keep your expat group and make friends with Germans. Your kids already there grown up bilingual, enjoy the best of both worlds. You can, you already do.