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I’m Antoinette, a New Zealander living the expat life in Germany. 🇳🇿🇩🇪
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I can only say why I have never spoken to my or other children in a baby voice. Because I take my children seriously. I take their sensitivities, fears and insecurities seriously, but also their tantrums etc.. I hated not being taken seriously as a child and never wanted to treat my children like that. Now I have the opposite problem, my children think they don't have to take me seriously now that they are older. I am an old mom. My 16-year-old said the last time I told him that he wasn't allowed to do something he had done, but before I could even explain why, he said: "Yes, that's another one of those things that only you think that way because you're old. Everyone else doesn't care." Oh, that made me a bit more serious. I told him how much that had hurt me and that it definitely wouldn't work between us. I think he was a bit horrified to have hurt me because we have a great relationship. He apologized and gave me the opportunity to explain why he shouldn't do what we were talking about at the beginning, regardless of whether others do it or not. I think part of taking someone seriously is an explanation. Of course, this is difficult with small children. It's difficult to explain complex relationships and you can't pass on experiences, but it's important that you try. Because the explanation puts the child in a position to understand and only learn through it. If someone tells you that you have to do what I say because I want you to, without explanation, that makes you angry too, doesn't it?
1) I think designer outfits are not for kids. They grow out and are expensive af. That's why most people won't even consider it. Also you usually give away clothes if the child outgrow it. Pratical clothes are easier to give away, also more environment friendly. I remember I had two girls living in my neighboorhood that around my age and I always had the opportunity to grab the clothes I liked when the parents gave away their kids clothes. Same - of course - happened to my clothes when I outgrow them. 2) Why apologize? Everyone was a kid once and probably did the same thing. It might take a while but a kid learns it that way - that they can't buy everything every time. Everyone learned it that way. It's hard, but I think that learns you being in charge with your money, especially when they get pocket money. Of course they can blow it once and buy an expensive item... or they handle it wiser and only buy smaller things once a while. 3) Children aren't dumb. And they aren't pets. It's helpful for their development to understand so they can learn. One day they will be an adult. And I think giving the kids to think like an adult at very young age, it makes them more responsible. 4) Praises should be used sparingly and not all the time. I agree with you that constructive criticism helps the child. I also think as an adult you'd be advised to give constructive criticism. I think if you do it all the time, you do it to your kids too. I think the most awesome thing I can remember and I think this is still very much today: When you have a good full year certificate you get goodies in stores. It's a thing here in Austria, and I think also in Germany. It's like the ultimate surprise and praise if you did good in school. 5) I think it's not that different. Smaller kids will have trycicles but when you grow up parents won't buy an bigger trycicle. It's expensice and why? So they rather buy a real bike but you put on bicycle supports (the mini wheels on the rear front). The thought behind it is: If the kids not needing any bicyle supports you can mount down and you have a real bike for the kid. It's actually more pratical (and cheaper) that way. You can used it beyond the trycicle. But then again there are trycicles that you can use with even 10 months, or some that grow with you. Or even for adults...but I think most kids in Germany or Austria (or Europe) learn it they way I described it.
If you constantly tell your kids in an over-the-top way how amazing everything the do is, you are in a way manipulating them. It is not about not praising them enough so they aim higher or work harder. It’s about being realistic about yourself and the world around you. If you’ve been taught your whole life that you are so talented that everything you do is amazing, it’ll hit hard once you realize your parents have been lying to you. Many times those are the kids, especially teenagers, that then can’t cope during this already vulnerable time, that they start to question everything about themselves. What I’m trying to say is, by praising your kid over the top, you are not necessarily improve their confidence because it’ll come and hit you harder in the end and really damage your confidence in an big way. Just be real with your kids. They don’t have to be perfect. They have to be happy and know their own worth!
German playgrounds are build to prepare our kids for war! Just kidding! ^^ In my opinion, it's a healthy part of learning, to get used to tricky situations and how to deal with it to stay safe!
Keen observing eye as always Antoinette! But balance bikes in NZ are definitely a thing! Every little kid rides around on one. Not sure since when, but at least 5 years plus! (My eldest is nearly 5) Keep up the good work! We've since moved back to Germany and i was actually surprised seeing so many balance bikes. I never heard of them growing up(in Germany)
He is using this sliding pole safely and as intended, good for him. But wait until another kid shows him how to balance hands-free on the support beam or do stunts on the sliding pole! Then you'll need Beruhigungstee. 😅
We should talk about every thing you think can happen. Because a lot of thought is behind these playgrounds. Ex this equipment is a bit high - so it is only allowed on sand. Because if the fall on sand - rarely anything happens. ;) Also it does not invite to do extra dangerous things etc etc. The design is not by chance like it is. ;) All is well !
Having seen Your video and having read the comments I wonder if I am the only german who unlocks the trolleys with a trolley key instead of a coin. Google "Einkaufswagenlöser", "Einkaufswagenentsperrer" or "Einkaufswagenentriegeler". You can get them from Amazon and many other shops.
Waschküche ist im Keller 😊
Al five things sounds perfectly reasonable to me, being the proud Dutchie. Our neighbours are quite similar to us after all!
I'm German but always have to use a bottle opener. If I try opening a bottle with something else, I will most definitely hurt myself. My mum (as well as apparently everybody else in my family) can do it and she is very ambitious about it. 😄
Anyone who uses a bottle opener is either cheating or drinking Flensburger. But I have to admit, I cheat too. Ever since my father bent my front door key in this way and I had to wait three hours in the rain for him, I've had a bottle opener on my key ring.
hahah dobrze jej poszło ale śmieszne 🤣
Balance bikes weren't really a thing in Germany until about 20-25 years ago, I would say. Tricycles weren't a thing either. Before balance bikes came up, the usual thing were kids bikes with training wheels. Something you barely see anymore. Which is great, because it completely lacks the balancing which is the hardest thing to learn for kids when learning to ride a bike.
If you hear a german speaking in baby voice it's most likely to the dog 😂
Knives: totally normal 🔪, learning to handle tools from a young age: totally normal, going to school on our own from early age : totally normal, we get taken to school on the first day and that’s it ! Taking the bus 🚌/ train/ crossing big roads at age 4 : totally normal, running errands , doing little local shopping 🛒 as a lil kid: totally normal...so, yeah...chill, watch & learn 😅😅😅😅 one thing though that absolutely grossed me out ( and still does) are those dirty feet - barefoot 🦶🦶 people in New Zealand 🤢, I lived there for far too long 😂 and I’m sooo glad to be back in Europe , relieved beyond words to be out of Kiwiland for good 😊,,,
Thank you for this interesting video! As a german mother and now grandmother for about 1 year, I can say that you are right and you are not right. 😁 In Germany parenting has changed in the last 20 to 30 years. I don't know if anybody outside of our country knows about the evolution of parents from parenting to over-parenting. In Germany we call those parents helicopter-parents. They are overprotective, overanxious and they always kind of "circle" over their kids like a helicopter. They want to control everything and always try to arrange the best situations for their kids - even if it causes a disadvantage for others. And as always - it depends on the person. Some do parenting in one way and some in another way. It's okay for me, as long as they do not harm their kids. Sorry for my english, I hope you can understand what I wanted to say - I don't think that there is the Germany parenting or the New Zealand parenting. Depending on the different circumstances and cultures there is perhaps a usual way for parenting
My two younger children learned bike riding on a Balance bike. IT startet to be trendy in the early 2000. I found it quite good and they learned it quicker than my two older children on their bikes with Stützräder ( extra helps )😅 Balance Bikes are in ( trendy)
To a baby you use less words, speak more slowely, bit you usually use the normal voice. On the one hand, it is important for the kid to understand and learn the "tone"(?) of the voice, if you are nice or angry. So there is a difference between an annoyed "no" or a harsh "NO". Second, as kids learn fast and learn that adults speak in a different tone on "serious matters", how will you explain to them, that this is a serious matter, when you talk to the kid in a totally different tone? Standard reply on a kids drawing: "Nice ... what is that?" And if you understand, that there are people on the picture you may ask: "Nice, ... who are they?" Well, the tricyle or a Kettcar, were you have to tunr the pedals and the balance bike is a good combination. First the learn to turn the pedals and then they learn to keep balance. And shortly after you can start with bike without additonal wheels.
Imagine telling a monkey that they are not allowed to climb
It's pathetic to think that some patents even do that, dress them up to show them up...🤦🏼♀️
The use of baby voice is something rarely seen outside English-speaking or Spanish-speaking countries, for any child of speaking age, and is not normal even for babies. My experience after 50+ yrs in paediatrics is that male relatives hardly ever do this. I have never understood this trait.
What did you do to your eyes in this video. They look weird, like some of those South Korean influencers.
Germans also don't put big bows on baby girls' heads.
Gummistiefel und Matschhosen im Kindergarten - wo würde ich wohl selbst am liebsten aufwachsen wollen?...
There are a couple of weird parenting methods I've seen in English speaking folks (mostly Americans): they love to tell their babies and toddlers say this, say that! Even though they can't speak yet and it makes no sense. No German parent ever does that. They also tell their kids what to feel, by asking rhetorical questions that leave no choice, for example when a kid meets his newborn sibling, most of those parents will ask "do you love him?!!". This is a behavior you would never see here. A two year old cannot possibly love the new little intruder he's just met and who takes away his mommy, but he is told what answer is expected of him. German parents respect their kid's own feelings and boundaries much more, which is again why they don't force their children to share things that belong to them. And lastly, those parents love to mention work; so when a toddler has been drawing for a while they might say something like "you're working so hard!". This is very non-German, again they're telling the kid how to feel, and turn playing into work (which probably reflects the typical American work ethic). So bottom line I'd say that Germans see children more like sensible individuals who have their own rights and can be trusted.
Very good show.
Training wheels are better. You can buy 1 bike and only 1 bike until they are 8 or 9. My daughter had a trike and then training wheels and she was riding her bike with no training wheels at 3. The trike we taught her how to pedal and use the hand break (it was on the side). Then I guess we treated the bike as a balance bike (sort of). We had the wheels raised as high as possible right off the bat. Our daughter knew how to pedal so we didn't have to worry about that. After she had her balance, we totally took off 1 training wheel. After that se was riding her bike. It took 6 months of everyday training to get her to riding in a 2 wheeler. Now we'll have this bike for another 6 years. My nephew had a balance bike and he didn't learn to ride a 2 wheeler until he was 7. My brother gave him the 2 wheel bike to use, but my nephew was to overwhelmed with learning to pedal, brake, and keep his balance. Finally last Christmas he learned to ride his bike. My niece is the same age as my daughter and is still on her balance bike despite having a 2 wheel bike ready for her. All kids are different when they learn to ride their bike and different things overwhelm different children. *Edit you look at the way my husband learned to ride a bike you would say trikes, balance bikes, and training wheels are unnecessary. My husband was taught on a regular 2 wheel bike. His older friend ran next to him to keep his balance. Eventually the friend let go and my husband was riding on his own.
I am 28 and from Germany and I learned biking with trainer wheels :) I think the balance bikes are quite a new thing. For the babyvoice: I am studying to be a teacher and we learned that a baby vioce or speaking to "easily" indeed isn't the best thing to do, because children copy their surroundings, especially the parents and if they don't speak in full sentences, where should they learn it from?
Children deseve an honest feedback. Otherwise you do not give them a chance to improve their skills.
I think it's all true what you say about German parents, but the "baby talk" thing really is complicated. Sometimes I overhear people still using baby talk, but they're definitely getting less. That probably has to do with the German health care system, as women who are pregnant with their first child are encouraged to visit courses to prepare for birth and the early time, and it's paid for by their health insurance, and how you should talk to your child is part of that. General rule is, use normal phrases and speak in a calm voice. There are official suggestions by psychologists, and many more "less official" by friends, relatives, and from books, so in the end I think all you can do is trust your feelings.
It is true, even though it would result in me not being german as I do not possess this talent sadly.
A ring. 💍
true stories 😃
I clearly remember an evening at a talent show at the Apollo in Harlem, NY, back in 1999, where there was a girl of about 14 or 15 years, who performed a song and she could not sing or hold a tune had her life depended on it. People thankfully were polite and did not laugh at her, but, by God, she was awful and of course, did not win the competition. I clearly remember having a discussion with my NY friends afterward, expressing my (German) shock at this girl taking part in a singing contest when clearly, she had zero skill in that area and probably excelled at completely other areas and I voiced my assumption that, as I had witnessed among my AuPair family and many American friend‘s families etc. that the constant parental oooohs and ahhhhs that children are given for every minor display or effort in anything, really, will at some point backfire when they are met with a) a professional environment that does not pamper their every move or when they are met with serious competition by real experts at what they are doing and they will then find out the harsh way that - honey, you‘re talents OBVIOUSLY lie somewhere else… So, I also really prefer the honest and constructive criticism from parents to being complimented over the moon for every mediocity. It is somewhat like telling your child lies and keeping them from finding their real talent. Of course, very young children should not be discouraged from something they like, but I feel quite strongly that parents who know their children and their cognitive capacities will know the point in time when castles in the air must be met with a reality check… BTW: I likewise feel about putting your children down in areas in which they do show talent or have not really explored a talent. One should always be open to have children try out everything and I do not consent in PARENTS telling their children, they should NOT try to learn to play the piano, learn knitting, take a watercoloring class or get a snowboard because THEY assume their child will not develop some talent in a skill they themselves don‘t care for…
Thanks for the video. On hyperbole praise: If everything is amazing than nothing is amazing.
My boyfriend opened a bottle with a baseball bat. You never have seen me so turned on. It’s not that hard once you get the physics behind it
Yes practical clothes better than trendy stuff kids esp.
Yes comfort helps w headphones
It's extremely important to dissapoint kids from time to time.the ability to deal with dissapointments is the most valuable gift you can give.
Dissapointments come anyway, there is no need to produce them, children should be able to rely on their parents.
@@B.Pa.yeah, but you should not cater to their every whim either. Saying no to their 20th stuffed bunny is OK! That is the kind of disappointment emilia was talking about.
At the very start,baby voice is good,because the vowels are easier for the very small kid to pick up.but when they start to talk,just talk properly.
I agree. Speaking baby voice to a newborn up to one year child is still very common and I guess it is absolutely okay and natural in some situations. When they start talking is the point where it at least should end.
It's also quite natural, we do it automatically to hrlp babies pick up not just the vowels, but also consonsnts, and befreundet that the melody of sentences, the end of words and sentences and , of course, emotionslos 😊 @@Herzschreiber
You're back!😅❤
Headphones look great more than 1 colour
Yes a new video
"Temper Tantrum", most children go through this phase, with one having a "movie-worthy" outburst of anger, the other having theatrical tears and sighs. Sometimes anger because you really want something, sometimes exhaustion (for example, when mom or dad don't carry you after a long walk) As long as the parents react calmly and prudently, everything is fine.
My daughter is 17, she had both a tricycle and a balance bike. She was always small for her age so she rode the tricycle until her legs got long enough for a balance bike
I think many people also don't do baby voice and instead focus on speaking clearly but simply, especially when children begin speaking.
In my experience the "baby voice" is a female thing.. idk, my little sister does it and my mother too. I only talk to cats this way xD
Balance bikes are a thing that came up in Germany after the time I learned how to ride a bike. But I'm nearly 44 years old.
I grew up in the early 2000s, and back then balance bikes were basically u heard of. I had a bobby car, a tricycle, then a scooter, and later a bicycle with detachable training wheels. My parents tried so hard to teach me how to ride the bike without training wheels but I was always scared to fall off and I had never learnt to balance, so it took forever. Until one day the penny suddenly dropped when I was dared to ride friend's bicycle (who had no training wheels!) and suddenly got the hang of it. Then when my younger brother was 3 he got gifted a balance bike by our neighbours and it was a HUGE game changer. He rode it to and back from KiTa and when it got time for him to ride a pedal bicycle, it took him maybe one week to get the hang of it! I still remember me and my dad tossing my training wheels in the bin immediately afterwards. 😂
All my German kids had balance bikes. They’re aged 25, 22 and 20 now. Started cycling on normal bikes aged 3 & 4. We live in a very cycle oriented city though.
I think we do sometimes use "baby voice" for kids, but rarely ever in public, and rarely above a certain age. To some degree, changing your tone and cadence when talking to little kids is actually an instinctual behaviour (called "motherese"), but I personally always feel very silly using it on kids over 1 year, especially kids I don't know. Also, once a child can talk, it's probably better to model "natural" speaking patterns instead of imitating their speaking style, as they might feel mocked especially when you underestimate them / simplify your speaking too much.
I sometimes still speak to my 4 year old like that, but only when he's feeling low and behaving like a baby like crawling onto my arm.