"So that the bride can pretend to be a PRRRIIIIIIIIIINCCEEEEEEEESSSS AND MARRY HER PRIIIIIIIINCE" That part kills me every time lmao

"You need to clean it with a kitten." Best line ever, I can't stop laughing!

@christys8445

Жыл бұрын

.....a WHITE kitten!!!!!!! 😂

“Pretend to have a kingdom” genius.

@AnnaPxx

3 жыл бұрын

Living The King & Queen Fantasy 😂😂😂

@paulet990

2 жыл бұрын

The wedding thing is -- it's pretty much true! Spending ridiculous amounts of money to make a day "Instagram worthy," then starting a marriage in debt. He makes it so funny, though!

@craigsecor111

2 жыл бұрын

The best part is that his wedding probably had over 500 people and cost an extremely high amount of money.

With the Brooklyn Italian accent: “Hey you know the bride throws the bouquet? How bout’ something for the fellas?” 🤣

@jenniferbarksdale7924

4 жыл бұрын

That was hilarious did you see the subway one with tuna water

@mrnonsense1031

3 жыл бұрын

I wonder why that guy pitching all the sales is from Jersey. 🤣🤣🤣

@clarissagiles734

3 жыл бұрын

😂🤣🤣

@kanethompson708

2 жыл бұрын

😂

I love the fact that Jim can make you laugh without using swear words or unnecessary energy. He maintains a low tone throughout his bits and his sentences just flow really well. He has his own unique style of comedy and I can really appreciate that#!

@adamthobajr8597

3 жыл бұрын

He's #1 G rated -- comic!

@quickdeuce

3 жыл бұрын

@@meldonovan7902 Yer too sensitive Mel,, however,, you're respectfully entitled to your opinion pard. It's comedy and most likely Jim wrote that bit long before Epstein was discovered.

@williamgomez5876

3 жыл бұрын

No he's not that low energy he changes tones and accents quite frequently that takes effort and it's hilarious.

@markdemell3717

3 жыл бұрын

Yeah ,cursing comedians get tired real quick.

@matthewgarettyconnorlinkme3429

3 жыл бұрын

All comedians have no use to curse in their acts. I’m sure they will still be funny. One example is a pint sized comedian, I forgot his name, that was funny and then later in his stand up special he turned vulgar constantly and he sunk so low to not being funny at all.

As a wedding planner, this was hilarious LOL

@fucuszullanti7877

Жыл бұрын

we were all waiting for your opinion

@Ms.Delphine1204

7 ай бұрын

He is exposing your grift 😅

*Awesome hearing Gaffigan being far more brutal without profanity while shredding the narcissism of couples and their weddings.*

I finished it because I’m an American Killed me with that one 😂😂😂

This is the first time I've ever heard an honest description of what attending weddings really feels like. The only thing to look forward to is getting sloshed and dancing like a fool. I appreciate the honesty Jim.

@PolishBehemoth

2 жыл бұрын

Lol getting sloshed and danving like a fool xD

@emiliebova

2 жыл бұрын

Really!

@fucuszullanti7877

Жыл бұрын

Still makes u a clown

@barbarabrennan1753

Жыл бұрын

So what important who is getting married THIS weekend.

@fern10011

7 ай бұрын

Yeah-I thought it was just me who felt that way!

The last wedding I went to was in a public park (with beautiful scenery for wedding photos). The bride and groom wore nice clothes that they already owned and had spent a couple hundred dollars on wedding rings. The guests all brought food for a pitch-in lunch instead of bringing gifts. It was the most relaxed and fun wedding I ever attended. It was also the only wedding I ever attended that was good for children because they could play games and use the playground equipment.

@amygalvin1799

Жыл бұрын

Playground? I go to weddings to get away from children.😁

@LucidDreamer54321

Жыл бұрын

@Amy Galvin That is sad.

@user-yw4fh4pw3q

Жыл бұрын

Are you really a lucid dreamer?

Not only is the material hilarious, You ACE the delivery.Thank You again Jim.Dont ever quit.

Jim Gaffigan is the solution to nearly all of our problems right now.

“Bring thy wallet” 😆🤣

@KuueenKumi

3 жыл бұрын

*wallet

"Don't get that wet, you have to clean it with a white kitten", 😆😅😂🤣😭

@kanethompson708

2 жыл бұрын

😂

I can't help but hear "Hot Pockets" in the background of every show

@katiewagner9047

4 жыл бұрын

Seven Streams i can never un-hear that

@dasmith36

3 жыл бұрын

Caliente Pocket!! 😂😂😂

@samw6048

2 жыл бұрын

Me too. However, it made me finally try them, the pretzel ones with peppers weren't too bad.

"I would've eaten so much ice cream, why did I consume so much Kale " hilarious 🤣🤣🤣🤣😂

Instead of watching so much soul sucking news during quarantine, I've decided to watch more stand up comedy and Jim Gaffigan is my favourite by far! Thanks for taking the edge off Jim--I can't wait to see your pandemic routine one of these days! :)

"Weddings started off as these crude medieval ceremonies where women- daughters- were exchanged as property. Yet over the course of centuries it got worse." Truest statement ever!

@markdemell3717

3 жыл бұрын

Yet ,Jim is married ,hahaha.

@haleyhusk6129

3 жыл бұрын

Ya so true

@kanethompson708

2 жыл бұрын

Lmao 👌

@johnmorgan2619

Жыл бұрын

Yeah NOW " WOMEN ARE MARIYING WOMEN.. . PROGRESS?. . REV . 20:10

@krellerj1111

Жыл бұрын

To bad it didn’t stay that way

“Don’t get that wet, you need to clean it with a kitten.”

@beedotsl

4 жыл бұрын

It needs to be a white kitten.

@marlaholmes6706

4 жыл бұрын

🤣

@alainzheng1008

4 жыл бұрын

I think i see what you did there

@powerofone1645

4 жыл бұрын

I accidentally cleaned my crystal with a black kitten... :(

@MaxLennon

3 жыл бұрын

IMO the single funniest line from any of his specials!

There has never been a wedding in my experience where I didn't want to jump up and scream, "RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!!!!" I'm usually imagining screaming this to the bride, but have several times wished to rescue the groom from a lifetime of misery.

@andrewfigueroa8069

Жыл бұрын

That is why Queen's song "Another One Bite's The Dust" should be the first dance song at the reception!!!😆😆💞💞💣💣

@drjanines3301

5 ай бұрын

That song comes to my mind every time I attend a wedding ❣️​@@andrewfigueroa8069

You've really nailed that wedding thing! So funny but so true!

The bride's garter belt crack me up

Jim Gaffigan is one of - if not the only comedians that can always make me laugh. Every time.

“...Because the theme of the wedding was waste...”

@AnnaPxx

3 жыл бұрын

"...At what point are we supposed to jab this in our throat? During the first dance?..." 😂😂😂

He would be a self-quarantine champion

@MissAmesha

4 жыл бұрын

Correction: He IS a self-quarantine champion.

“Where daughters were exchanged as property, over centuries IT GOT WORSE.” Brilliant

The bit about eating ice cream during the day 😂😂😂

He had a show on the same day as our wedding and my wife was like if we went do you think anybody would notice! 😜😂

@ProudPapaJD

2 жыл бұрын

Keeper!

@kanethompson708

2 жыл бұрын

😜

@ediewall6360

Жыл бұрын

LOL

Mr. Gaffigan is my spirit animal.

@ediewall6360

Жыл бұрын

LOL

This guy never fails to make me laugh 😂

When my brother got married. A very poor member of the church gave them a package of Fig Newtons as a gift. It was their most memorable.

"white kittens" That is hilarious. My son and I use my grandmother's fine china saucers as plates for the cat food cause there are so many of them and I ended up with them and we just put them in the dishwasher cause neither of us cares. Last year at his graduation party someone took the pile of plates out of a cupboard (they were separated from all the other dishes because we don't use them for food) and started serving sushi on them. Little pools of soy sauce with 2-3 rolls on each plate. My son and I locked eyes in horror and he slowly shook his head. It really added a layer of interest to the party from my perspective.

@CocoOPNY

4 жыл бұрын

Awesome comment 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏🤣🤣🤣🤣

@tanyabeede8450

4 жыл бұрын

M G this comment should be a scene in a movie😂😂

@MG-sy8pj

4 жыл бұрын

@@tanyabeede8450 Really, it's been two years and I still scramble to hide the cat food dish whenever I see a sibling pull into the driveway, especially if it is my older sister!

@olivia6063

2 жыл бұрын

😂😂😂😂

@janhusung8368

Жыл бұрын

@@MG-sy8pj : I loved your story about dishes and cats. My ADHD brain scrambled it, but I like it anyway. 😊 “… we ended up with them b/c nobody wanted them…” 😢 (- wait! The cats or the dishes?🧫 How many cats do you have???) “… We… threw them in the dishwasher…” (Wait, WHAT??? You threw the CATS in the dishwasher??? 🙀How Could you DO such a thing? 😾 Oh yeah, you “…HAD so many of them….” 😿 But Do you have any of them now??) 😿 Thanks for the LOL! 😂😻😹

I can watch this over and over and always have a good laugh.

LMAO....had to stop and show my apprentice this while at work..

The honorable king slayer lmao....

“Sure you don’t want us to buss some tables?” At my aunt’s wedding a few years ago, the groom (a creep who, thankfully, isn’t her husband anymore) actually asked the guests to help clear the empty plates and glasses. The first time we saw this sketch, we immediately thought of that bizarre moment and couldn’t stop laughing! 😂🤣

This was the first Gaffigan video I watched several months ago and was HOOKED.

@linshanhsiang

9 ай бұрын

Still my favorite Gaffigan video, second is the one about horses. Oh, and Dateline "as one does" so effing funny!!!!

Jim Gaffigan, you make me smile and laugh. Thank you! 😀😄🙂

You absolutely found your call, you're HILARIOUS

Omg he’s so right about weddings 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

He is my favourite at the moment. Making me laugh in histerics

I'm literally laughing so loud----my roommate thinks I've lost my mind. Had to subscribe. Love the clean humor, now I'm binge watching.

@ediewall6360

Жыл бұрын

You are gaining wisdom!

thank you jim for bringing laughter back into my life after losing a family member . . u r awesome

Hey. I had a pint of ice cream for breakfast today! In my defense, we are living in c-19 days! 😆

No party should cost as much as a house.

@windsofmarchjourneyperrytr2823

4 жыл бұрын

What wedding is that much?

@sonnyburnett8725

3 жыл бұрын

In the early seventies you could buy a house for less than $20,000 in Arizona and probably into the eighty’s in the Midwest. Weddings are a huge waste of cash for everyone except the chick.

@robertschwartz4810

3 жыл бұрын

@@sonnyburnett8725 When you go to a wedding (of young people), and there are more than 100 guests, (I've been to weddings with 500), you know that daddy and mommy are paying back social obligations and networking with potential business associates.

@z.deutch1334

3 жыл бұрын

Your houses cost half of what we pay as a house deposit

@robertschwartz4810

3 жыл бұрын

@@z.deutch1334 Probably, but there is a huge difference in house prices among different cities in the US.

I’m married and I find this hilarious. Glad we did a solo wedding. No guests. Just a photographer and the person performing the ceremony. Whenever someone makes fun of weddings i get to tell myself “they’re not talking about us” haha.

@ediewall6360

Жыл бұрын

Wise woman!!! Mine was VERY minimal too.

@sandray7609

Жыл бұрын

Never married just common law for 33 years 😂

@saul2007t

Жыл бұрын

​@@sandray7609Congratulations, the more you spend...the more it jinxes the outcome...IMHO!

@jessicaharris1608

7 ай бұрын

We eloped. We told my parents 45 minutes beforehand that we were getting married so that they could witness it but not argue about getting married without having lots of money in the bank already. Since my parents didn't pay for an elaborate "dog and pony show" of a wedding, the money they would have spent on a wedding was used to buy us furniture and useful things for our first apartment. I say we made out great! (They didn't buy us super expensive brands, but it was all new furniture at least, plus a few end tables and kitchen table and chairs that were hand me downs.

So great! Thanks Jim. My niece is getting married next month and this made me feel better and more prepared 🤣

@janhusung8368

Жыл бұрын

😂

My Dad could eat a pint of ice cream after dinner, and he had a saying whenever he found that there to be only a normal bowl or so of ice create in the container, he would say “It’s just enough to piss you off!”

@tracyhale8336

4 жыл бұрын

Ha...my dad says the same thing!

@grouchygurl5466

4 жыл бұрын

Called the other half just to say that I ate the last of the Rocky Road... it just made it more satisfying. 😂

Jim. You are hilarious. I love how your comedy leaves me feeling happy. You don’t use vulgar language and your jokes don’t put people down. You never make fun of people but situations.

Jim is like bacon and fries. I can’t get enough.

I love your wedding riffs - that bit about china was me; finally I got the unwashable dishes gone ! Love your whisper voice too. Keep up the amazing writing.

This beautifully summed up why I don't want a wedding. Long-term relationship yes! Crazy expensive ceremony so everyone I know can fawn over me noooooooooooo

Still LOL about the look on old peoples face🤣

Slacker. Who buys ice cream by the pint?

@edithdlp8045

3 жыл бұрын

I do because it's cheaper, but I bearly tast it because I have 3 kids 😥 😔

@janeprescott980

3 жыл бұрын

3 words Ben and jerrys

@denisemay6807

3 жыл бұрын

Ha ha! Yeah! You’re only a novice ice-creamer!

@quintintapia8742

3 жыл бұрын

I am eating Ice cream right now out of a 5-gallon bucket.

@Enr227

3 жыл бұрын

Me. I eat ice cream by the pint and I hate weddings. Love JG

"I was eating a pint of ice cream, in sweatpants, like a MAN." That is exactly my dad.

@kurtellsworth6273

2 жыл бұрын

the best time to eat ice cream is not in the summer but in the winter then you can really enjoy it :p

Totally agree, we got married in the woods. Just like eight people. Bam.

@ediewall6360

Жыл бұрын

Smart!

Love these clips, makes “sheltering in place” so much more bearable. Thanks Jim!

@african4allghana655

4 жыл бұрын

Hi

@african4allghana655

4 жыл бұрын

How are you

@fidilkid

4 жыл бұрын

Melinda Lee amen sister!

@lovesilk1

4 жыл бұрын

It's time this charade ended. Don't want to put a damper on things but this is a must see: plandemicmovie.com/

@missmary2877

4 жыл бұрын

@parrotprodigy productions The term is "crisis actor." You know, because we ALL want to lie about our grandparents DYING.....

As a wedding DJ this is hilarious 🎧🤍

@48musicfan

Жыл бұрын

I used to be and there was always the one drunk guy who wanted to sing or say something to the bride and groom.😆

My price for my subscription was a laugh. What a deal! You're funny. We love you! Cheers!

Jim.... I don't know if you read these comments or not... but either way... you are one of the funniest people I have ever encountered in my whole life you're awesome .....I love you man

Bringing laughter to as many people as Jim does is "a great gift' all!!

“Hey you know the bride throws the bouquet? How ‘bout somethin’ for the fellas?” Jim your stage game, your voices, subtle references, your acting and writing all of it is a big tutorial for greatness in standup and a delight to watch.

@AnnaPxx

3 жыл бұрын

He's ace. Glad you have noticed the subtle references too, he's brilliant. And the voices, lol. It's like watching several characters, he makes them come alive

I love how Jim perches his hand atop the other… so cute!

When I was growing up, we would watch El Chavo. It was a Mexican comedy show that made the whole family laugh, without any dirty words Jim is the closest thing to it I ever saw. Brilliant comedy! You're a genius sir

First time I’ve seen him.. he’s bloody hilarious x x

I love Jim’s humor. It doesn’t matter what he talks about, it is really funny!🤣🥰🤡🌟

Laugh 😂 ing in the middle of the night! You are a dream come true Jim! Gifted!

Jim Gaffigan is easily becoming my FAVORITE comedian. He hasn’t said ☝️ curse word and has my complete attention! So funny!!!

I was just at my brother’s wedding a few days ago. It was a beautiful Jewish ceremony, and I was glad to be there. But I absolutely felt the “spending money” part. 😂 My parents paid for my dress, my hotel room, and parking in downtown Chicago, and I still spent way more than I could really afford to! But I did it because I love my brother, and my new sister-in-law.

wedding gift- always get them a bucket. Who doesn't need a bucket. You can put things in it, carry things somewhere else, throw them away, bring them back again, holds liquids or solids. It can even carry pets from place to place. If it is fairly strong you can even use it to stand on for a short period. It also really irritates moles.

@elmarobberts5128

4 жыл бұрын

Lol. And after all has been said and done, you kick it.

@gongoozleriam9783

4 жыл бұрын

I have a friend who's face is covered in moles I'm going to get her a bucket to put on her head that ought to irritate her moles lol jk

@Chococat_Ariana

4 жыл бұрын

I hope my friend who's getting married soon likes the Home Depot bucket! 🤞🏼

@phyvo

4 жыл бұрын

I actually bought a bucket instead of a wastebasket and that was definitely one of my smarter life choices.

@dswcnn

4 жыл бұрын

I favor a nice, metal colander. Been married almost 25 years and still use the one we received as a wedding gift. And it doesn’t cost $300 or need to be washed with a white kitten.

It’s always fun to laugh again with Jim Gaffigan.

Your subscribe pitch is on another level. Seriously this is how you get someone to subscribe.

This is my moment of zen.

Nailed it! You made us laugh so hard, now thanks to this sketch I will have to change the almond covered candy that I was planning to give at my daughters wedding for something else. LOL 🥰

I am laughing so hard I am crying! Jim is just hysterical. Happy 4/20 day everyone. Stay home and be safe!

I love it when he does the Brooklyn accent and iam from texas

HE'S THE BEST !!!!!!!

Thank you Jim. I, as countless other people, have enjoyed what you do. Huge respect man.

I feel the same way about weddings. Always despised them...Spend tons of money on people you hardly see... and really don't care about... only to NOT get a simple Thank you note...

What a tonic during quarantine

My three year old daughter laughed so hard at this (as did I). You know you're funny when...

Jim I Love you. I listen to you so much and you always pick me up. God gave you a gift and that gift is to be shared. You have been a great steward of this wealth of joy and laughter that you give us all. God Bless you Dan Bianchi Canada

I heard that laughter is medicine for the soul. If laughter was medicine for the body too then watching this video would make us immune from everything, including Covid-19.

Sister in law had an entire dinner service that has never been used!

Love how you brought in a kale joke at the end

I have 4 weddings to go to this year, one of which is a destination wedding, and one of which I'm standing up in. My financials, time off work, and general free time is basically based on other's weddings. Not like I'm trying to buy a house, find a gf, or enjoy free time for myself. Maybe next year...

@Mary_O

4 жыл бұрын

You must be at peak wedding age, or I didn't have enough friends.

@ryanturner8577

4 жыл бұрын

@@Mary_O 28 years old, so I'm in the middle of the wedding era of my life. I wouldn't say I have a ton friends. A lot of them just chose the same year to get married haha.

@Mary_O

4 жыл бұрын

@@ryanturner8577 - I think it was my entire 20's, and a lot of weddings were highschool classmates I would run into occasionally. I wouldn't even call them friends. At least you don't have to go to wedding or baby showers. Of course I didn't have to pay anytime I went out with a guy, so I guess we're even. 🤣

@catherine8789

4 жыл бұрын

Lol so true! 😂

@shaifromnz

4 жыл бұрын

Have any of those weddings been postponed yet?

Love it. You know everyone over 40 at a wedding is rolling their eyes, just don’t get caught.

@kateyare4708

3 жыл бұрын

And those under 40 are only there because they're hoping it will soon be their turn, and the bride and groom will owe them big time.

Thanks for the relief in these trying times

You need to clean it with a kitten.... fell outta my chair! Watched that 4 times

First 30 seconds & already laughing my ass off. Lol

@ediewall6360

Жыл бұрын

Sounds better than dieting. Will it work for thighs too???

jimgaffigan thank you for being a light in the darknrss, and a man who isn't a Yetti

This is the best routine I've seen from Mr. Gaffigan. Hilarious! I think he's better when he's edgier like this. My sister and her husband got married just by signing papers at the courthouse then they had a simple get-together with close freinds and family. They didn't even want gifts. But a cash contribution to their "Disneyworld Vacation Fund" was encouraged.

@ediewall6360

Жыл бұрын

Smart!!!

@eyesuckle

Жыл бұрын

So they declined gifts. . . except for cash. Charming.

He is the funniest guy....really.

thanks for the laughs I really need the lighthearted feeling and a few giggles today.

Frighteningly accurate!! LOL

" A princess.... cause magic is exist...that's why people cry at wedding"

Comedy genius . He has been doing comedy for a long time, yet his stuff is always fresh and funny!

My favorite comedian!

@dannyspitzer1267

2 жыл бұрын

Mine too

Extra funny because my son got married 3 days ago :-) But the wedding was nothing like Jim's jokes -- thank God