Toxic boss: doesn't set clear goals, then penalizes you when you don't read their minds. They are also vindictive, and tend to micromanage. Toxic bosses also gossip/ bad mouth team members with each other and cause conflict. They also don't share or communicate clearly, i.e. intentionally don't provide you with the information or tools to execute your role so that you fail

@ThisisBronwyn

2 жыл бұрын

Perfectly articulated!!! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

@TheBatmanjb

Жыл бұрын

I work with a horrible woman manager I'm getting ready to leave the company. she's a disgrace, disrespectful to me causes gossip, backstabbing, just to protect herself, I do a tremendous job with my personality and selling and she's jealous of it. she's a sick individual that needs help. one day she's going to get what she deserves terrible woman. And the staff around her just as bad ever seen anything this bad

@bjorn19

Жыл бұрын

Ugh, not setting clear goals and penalizing you for not reading their mind is exactly the issue I ran into with a previous boss. She berated me at my performance review for not doing things that she had never told me to do.

@ThisisBronwyn

Жыл бұрын

It is infuriating and so very very confusing. We blame ourselves and wonder how we missed the signs!

@sugarandspice2136

Жыл бұрын

This just happened to me yesterday. And my boss definitely ramped up her behavior when I told her I accepted a job offer the other day.

Great video. My former boss gaslighted me. Fortunately, I escaped quickly enough, before it started impacting my mental health. 🙂 Now I am in a much better place. You are right that most toxic managers are insecure and feel threatened by you, so they employ these dirty tactics to shatter your confidence, and disempower you.

@ThisisBronwyn

2 жыл бұрын

That’s exactly right … it’s sad, but still infuriating to be on the receiving end. I am so glad you got out!!

Something to keep in mind: Toxic bosses are numerous because they tend to like positions of dominance and control, but their lack of empathy and since of entitlement makes them highly ineffective in managing people interpersonally. Therefore, it is very likely that you may find yourself employed by a string of toxic bosses. I suspect all three of my former bosses possessed this trait, but their behavior was not always directed at me so it took time for me to identify the unfortunate target who was usually someone who challenged their authority.

@ThisisBronwyn

2 жыл бұрын

It’s very very true. But, at least for me, it took about 10 years into my career to come across a truly toxic boss. Maybe I was lucky!

@lianas3593

Жыл бұрын

@@ThisisBronwyn You were very lucky.

@KiraHelenRose

Жыл бұрын

I will also add that if you work in retail there’s a high likelihood of toxic managers and supervisors. Retail environments tend to be full of drama and petty behavior. Oftentimes it feels like a big high school. And even if you are contributing on some level, it doesn’t mean that the boss’s response and manner in which they handle it isn’t toxic. If a boss can give clear feedback in a kind way that doesn’t leave a worker feeling confused, insulted, or abused, then the boss isn’t toxic. However, even if they are speaking gently and come across as nurturing, but what is coming out of their mouth is gaslighting statements, then they are uber toxic and you need to be careful. These types are the worst because they will make it look like it’s all you and everyone will think they are amazing, when in truth there is something shitty under the surface. You will be labeled as the problem and they will be praised.

@Manonthemoon777

3 ай бұрын

Each job I have had I have been bullied. The end of the video resonated deeply. I have thought about how I am possibly manifesting these toxic colleagues. I don’t know how to change it for the better. Maybe affirmations? Positive thinking? I’m a very easy going guy but get treated like a doormat at work

- Vague and shifting expectations. - Self contradiction but blaming others - Complete and absolute inability to listen. - Constantly distorting the sequence of events in their favour The last one was really the nail in the coffin. For a long time i chalked this up to misunderstandings, but when the misunderstandings always go in one direction you have to question their honesty.

@MilanElan

6 ай бұрын

THIS!!!!!

I love the part about good leaders empower and toxic leaders disempower. Truth bomb

@ThisisBronwyn

Жыл бұрын

Thank you DB!!

The first subtle sign of a toxic boss: 1st Interview my boss is telling me stories about other coworkers that are not her stories to tell; 2nd Interview she is gossiping with another coworker in front of me… I was dumb for not reading my gut and turning down the job. Over a period of weeks and months I could feel the initial love bombing and manipulation (dangling a carrot to keep me invested - golden child) then as problems arise no feedback or support. Slowly I feel my self-esteem going and my will going (Why am I here?) no development. Finally I got out and immediately felt the relief. It’s was subtle but insidious overtime. Listen to your gut. Your enthusiasm or lack thereof in the 1st/2nd interview says everything.

@ThisisBronwyn

Жыл бұрын

Amen x 1,000 to this. Classic signs but so easy to miss them or explain them away! I have been there. Thanks for watching and commenting!

Soon after starting a job, one of my coworkers warned me about the leadership. Every day he said "watch your back with them" and looked miserable. Two weeks later he just vanished like he was sent to the Gulags. Later got a dept wide email from the director that this guy was placed on "unpaid leave". Another coworker told me "Like a lamb sent to the slaughter." That same day I left my badge and work phone on my desk and vanished myself. Called my boss from my previous employer (who is a good dude but the commute was awful) and told him about the situation and he managed to get me back on the team.

@ThisisBronwyn

2 жыл бұрын

God … talk about a toxic work environment. It’s sad because this behavior guarantees that they will always attract mid to low level talents. The real talent walks out the door!

Love the video. I went through this a year ago. My boss would literally make me question my sanity. They would twist conversations I supposedly had and made me look like a complete idiot. It was horrible. Anytime I tried to defend myself she would say I need to accept what I did(on things I didn’t even do!!) she would berate me constantly infront of her higher up as if trying to impress him. I’m floored I put up with it for so long. I should have nipped this early on but I wanted to impress her. I stayed in this environment for about a year. I kept thinking it would get better but it only got more excruciating. I realized I was working for a complete sociopath and decided to walk away from it. It saved my mental health. I think since college (13 years ago) I have let my bosses in various jobs have complete power over me to the point I was scared of standing up for myself. I have just put up with unnecessary and cruel verbal and bullying abuse. I now realize the importance of standing up for yourself. Through therapy I’ve worked on this

@ThisisBronwyn

Жыл бұрын

That is brutal and a cycle that has to stop if you want to realize your potential. I love how aware you are now! That is half the battle!!

@maxalberts2003

Жыл бұрын

Where the hell did you work (and what was your job) to be in such crappy places?

yes i have a toxic boss very bad one

My toxic boss was an extremely jealous glory hog who both made me the golden child while simultaneously refusing to manage, give feedback or direction etc. When I received praise from leadership for my work she made a rule that I wasn’t allowed to talk to anyone in the company except her. She went so far as to maintain a tracking spreadsheet of anyone in the company who said they talked to me and would confront me about what she heard and insist that I tell her the topic of the conversation. Then she dangled a raise over my head and invited herself to my apartment two days after I moved in and just got drunk, acted inappropriate (literally snooping around in my bedroom and peeking in my closets), discussed no raise until later that week where she told me to explore my other options if I wasn’t happy with it. She is the one who initiated the conversation, told me my job was supposed to pay $15K more than I was making and told me to toss out a number so we could negotiate my pay. Two months later I took on all of her work and she didn’t even consider, discuss or acknowledge the salary negotiation slide deck she asked me to create. She would publicly put me on the spot to agree to work that made no sense and wasn’t feasible with my current workload. I no longer work there.

My boss gas lighted me. I called her out on it she went crazy so I quit

@ThisisBronwyn

Жыл бұрын

Best to find your good elsewhere! 👏

My other boss, did not listen. Shut me out. I called him, out on it.

I’ve learned toxic environments seem to breed toxic bad attitudes….the overly disgruntled coworker, the manager who disowned one of his kids because of money, the coworker who had a kid and divot and not in panic mode to get any job

@ThisisBronwyn

Жыл бұрын

True!!

Thanks for the lovely video. I would appreciate if you could talk about how to let go of the fear after having been thru a toxic boss. I would like to know how to get my confidence back.

@ThisisBronwyn

2 жыл бұрын

This is so GOOD. Will absolutely do a video about this!!! Thank you!

This was really on point! My first toxic job and I feel like I’m in a 4x2 cage. Like the toxic boss want to take my 1st amendment away also trying to change me from being a sweet girl that I am! I’m trying to escape now

@ThisisBronwyn

Жыл бұрын

Good GOD get yourself out of there!!! Get that resume fired up and start looking because you are too precious to let someone tear you down. The world needs you lit UP. Sending you a huge hug!

@Misses.keys1

Жыл бұрын

Thank you soo much ! I’m finally FREE🦋

@ThisisBronwyn

Жыл бұрын

Bravaaaaaa

Query: why do most employees consider most of their managers to be "toxic bosses"? I have noted through the years that healthy managers who support their direct reports are often disparaged by their own higher-ups for not doing their jobs properly. This isn't just some idiosyncratic, anecdotal story: this narrative is a common thread among the vast majority of office workers in the USA. In 99 out of 100 cases, management = power OVER. That's why talking back is called insubordination.

@ThisisBronwyn

Жыл бұрын

You make an interesting point and I’d love to see the research on this. I agree that management as power “over” creates a cascade of issues! I always say … “never confuse hierarchy with existential worth.”

Keep going, been there so many times

You nailed it absolutely described the situation perfectly. Question I asked myself I'm aware of narcissistic behavior I don't have cognitive dissonance or codependence issues. But I have consistently strong a few bad bosses together. I think it comes down to being needy I'm wanting to get back in the work environment. I interviewed with a general manager of a construction company for a controller role. The General manager at one time was the former controller. He was incredibly negative on the interview saying things such as that the CFO was a control freak. He doesn't care if he gets fired. At corporate headquarters management team is clueless. He was the most difficult person I've ever come across. Wasn't prepared for how he would set me up or as they say moving the goal post back. After 3 and 1/2 weeks I quit. I'm bemused by how I didn't recognize his negativity on the interview ? Again thanks you really nailed this one. Brad

@ThisisBronwyn

Жыл бұрын

So sorry this happened to you … you got excited for the gig and ignored the red flags. We have all been there. Forgive yourself, learn and move on which is exactly what it sounds like you’re doing! High five!

What can you do, when you get your work done well, but your boss doesn't like the way you did it? There were no instructions on how to get the project done.

@rockstarofredondo

8 ай бұрын

Just came from a place like this. Walked away shamelessly.

Great video ❤

@ThisisBronwyn

Жыл бұрын

Thank you Maria

I don't let bosses make me crazy, I make them crazy.

I had a boss walk into the room and at random say “Don’t give me a fucking…..” And I’m thinking huh? Is he being serious or teasing?

@ThisisBronwyn

Жыл бұрын

Hideous!!

I have to look good for MY boss. Pretend to be working. That was my boss' solan. I told him, put that on. T shirt

I have a toxic boss which is making me doubt myself, I’m seeing a therapist to help me. Any help I can get here?

@ThisisBronwyn

10 ай бұрын

Yep. Every video is going to help. Bravo for doing the work!

I guess 5 out of 5 is pretty clear.

@ThisisBronwyn

Жыл бұрын

Knowing is half the battle right?? Sending you strength!

@kristynsotelo1452

Жыл бұрын

@@ThisisBronwyn thank you. And thanks for this video. ❤❤

@ThisisBronwyn

Жыл бұрын

My pleasure! Thank u for watching!

My toxic boss has a moving plan on how to implement our software.

@ThisisBronwyn

Жыл бұрын

The worst. It’s probably because they are overwhelmed and not sure how to execute.

@fabulouslife4646

Жыл бұрын

@@ThisisBronwyn thank you for that perspective. It's true that there is just too much to do

there are a lot of rude vulgar people in the workplace I work with a toxic woman manager and I'm getting ready to leave the job. she has no respect for herself, no respect for the organization. I'm very intelligent I know exactly what's going, there are a lot of people in position that should not be managers and unfortunately I'm working for one of them. Her district manager came from the same company with her so there's a conflict of interest of anything happens he's defending her it's ridiculous she's an awful manager terrible personality. I've worked in great places but today's workforce is crap. the Young generation don't want to work, we're a big trouble in this country.

@ThisisBronwyn

Жыл бұрын

It’s kind of depressing isn’t it? But there are always clusters of people focused on excellence. We just have to find them and/or BE them. Are you going to stay or are you actively seeking a new role elsewhere?

@TheBatmanjb

Жыл бұрын

@@ThisisBronwyn I'm leaving. I don't understand why my female manager, won't appreciate my value. I've been in the retail business for 40 years, but she's got the whole staff against me. 18 year old 20 old kids that have no experience in life, talking behind my back, spreading false rumors. unbelievable. kids who don't even know what they're doing. I can't understand her reasoning why she would do this but she's very incompetent one, an insecure two. I still don't understand why would she hire me and then do this to me do you have any answers ?

@ThisisBronwyn

Жыл бұрын

I don’t, John. I really don’t. The answers don’t matter. What matters is you and what you want to envision for your next move. That’s where all of your focus should be. Release this gal to her path and focus on you and what you want to do next.

@TheBatmanjb

Жыл бұрын

@@ThisisBronwyn I am focused on me and I'm moving forward. I'm going to leave this place as soon as I can. I have some other opportunities coming hopefully soon this week. I can't wait to tell her I'm putting my two weeks notice in. I'm praying to God so I can say those words and leave

@ThisisBronwyn

Жыл бұрын

You nailed it! Keep it short, focused and then get outta there!

I would like everyone's advice on this. I work as cashier for b&m stores. I was badly verbally abused by my manger and ill treated. I know my challenge 25 and when a customer turns up at my till with no id and underage... I refused the sale as they were underage... I did nothing wrong...but my supervisor went and told my manger ive had a serious incident...and to my horror my manager pulled me aside and began shouting at me....he was not listening to me :-( his done this abruse before on my first few weeks at work where the area manager arranged a meeting... and my manager then apologised . Coming to here and now, I reported the incident to HR and sent my witness statement too alongside the mangers ill treatment to me and other staff too. He also called his hard working staff retards this hurts me so much as the staff work very hard i was horrified bern told this.... my team members are not retards:-( and work amazingly well...I have been waiting for HR to contact me and resolved my issue.. instead my letter was passed down to a team leader and no managers.... this team woman kellie calls me and tried to force words into my mouth to my horror and said i gave in my notice in and told my manger I'm leaving the b&m store and she has terminated me.... I never gave any written statement or verbally and it been disturbing how she tried to force words into my mouth and tried to fool me. In my 9 letter page plus and statement I wrote to HR all thats been happening ij the store....not once did i write or mentioned about my termination of my contract or mentioned it at all...instead been pleading with them to resolve my issue as the manager has a bad behaviour and reeks of heavy alcohol at work. I have tried to find the directors details to email all letters and the log email dialogue from HR today to tell them what' HR has done and my store managers too... I feel betrayed HR have covered it up consideringi i also sent in a witness satement too... I am 55 year old and never had an experience such as this its left me mortified. I am very genuine and heal people and encourage people in life....and to experience evil people is a eye opener. Beautiful souls who reads this please give me advice what further I can do. B&M HR have terminated my contract without my consent and no reason as to why and have listened to the lies of a branch manager instead with jeckle and hyde traits...taking into note I did nothing wrong... its was a no id no sale... I couldn't sell acholol to underage but got punished instead of being praised for not selling to underage. He's shouts at you infront of everyone...its very humiliating. He has behaviour problems. I have won star performer certificates twice for outstanding customer communications and to be treated this way by a bad managers where HR agrees and supports a bad manager with behavioural problems. I have found it to be very shocking how HR handled it and shurved it under the carpet as if nothing happened. I'm deeply mortified how cunningly HR dealt with it... and to lie I handed in my notice of termination. When I never did. :-( B&M owners are not to blame but I strongly believe they need to be aware what's happening behind their back as they employ managers HR and unaware these people are treating employees in a bad way. .

@ThisisBronwyn

Жыл бұрын

This is awful and I’m so sorry it’s happening to you! It sounds like you are making every effort to do the right thing.

@Lucky-vx5gm

Жыл бұрын

@@ThisisBronwyn Thank you for your support and ind words. Yes I have been because I didn't do nothing wrong.

@lllaugh2515

Жыл бұрын

Sometimes its just not your train. There will be a much better one along soon. Sometimes the best choice is to smile, and walk away. HR's function is to preserve the status quo.

@rockstarofredondo

8 ай бұрын

Never go to HR. HR is there to protect the company from lawsuits, not to protect you from the people they hired.

lol. that is all i can say.

Does this count as "toxic boss"? My supervisor basically insulted me to my face today. She was upset when I had signed up for a shift where there was nobody there to work with me. I'll admit, I am MUCH better with a helping hand and guide, and that I'm kind of a slow learner, but come on, that's no excuse for how direct and opinionated she was. Has that loser ever heard of a thing called tact, or even faith or potential? You shouldn't underestimate people, especially to their faces! When she asked me if I thought I could do the shift by myself, I said, "yes," and she disagreed. She said she didn't think so, was all "I've told you not to sign up for shifts by yourself, I've been very clear about that" (something like, that, so I'm not perfectly quoting her), and she told me I need someone there to give me instructions and guide me. She was basically saying directly to my face that I was not independently capable. I guess you could say she was implying I was helpless. Either way, she TOTALLY indicated she had no faith in me. I'm mad at myself for not standing up to her. She intimidates me when she's in a bad mood, but still, at the very least, I should've told her I believed in myself, to subtly hint, "Unlike you, so stop with the underestimation, you bigot." Was she indeed being toxic, or is the idea all in my head? Is this a good reason to quit the job?

@ThisisBronwyn

Жыл бұрын

I’m so sorry this happened to you… It must’ve felt awful hearing her speak that way. It sounds like she struggles to regulate her emotions and is letting her emotions run the conversation with you instead of having a calm conversation with you. Definitely toxic behavior but probably not intentional… She’s somebody who never learn to manage big emotions. In a sense I feel sorry for her.

@johnrainsman6650

Жыл бұрын

@@ThisisBronwyn yeah I consider her a bigot. People who question and underestimate those with learning disabilities are simple minded. Don’t have my context and logical point of view? That’s because she’s not digging deep enough to find treasure. A shallow hole only has dirt, as far as she can see

@ThisisBronwyn

Жыл бұрын

Amen to all of this. Bravo and you’re confidence and awareness are inspiring

@johnrainsman6650

Жыл бұрын

@@ThisisBronwyn i I think I might know what would really help. A woman in the downstairs dining office used to be the manager below my boss. I think she’ll understand. I remember expressing my anxiety when the boss confronted me for not serving my tables when, long story short, there was a misunderstood delay. Said manager was sensitive and remarked how everybody makes mistakes. On the day my shift was replaced with someone else, I sat near the office in case she would come out, make conversation, and ask if I was working. I was gonna say I WAS until the boss got all strict and annoyed and said she didn't think I could do it. You know, to make the complaint in casual conversation, not formally. She didn't stop by to chat, and that particular day I couldn't work the shift is over, so that conversation can't happen. I still might encounter her at my job, but I don't know how to casually mention the boss's words. The _"are you working today?/I was, but the boss was upset"_ can't be used, so I don't know how else to start the subject about her now. Do you have any suggestions?

@ThisisBronwyn

Жыл бұрын

@@johnrainsman6650 Before we get into scripts and conversation strategies I find it is very helpful to begin by asking yourself this question what do I ultimately want out of this conversation? What does success look like for this conversation for her? What does successful this conversation look like for me? Let’s start there. What do you think?