Unfortunately getting a new job doesn't always remedy the situation because from my personal experience I have applied to other jobs that actually have a stronger toxic work environment than the job that I am currently engaged with.....It's the common dynamic for today's work force.

@joycewatt800

9 ай бұрын

Exactly!!!

@Masxu2

2 ай бұрын

Exactly what stops me from leaving.

There are gaslighters everywhere, so "go find another job" is not a real solution. It's just kicking the can a little further away, not actually dealing with the problem (which is the gaslighter).

@MrsTruthTeller

20 күн бұрын

Sadly this is so true. They are everywhere because they work the hardest to get to leadership positions. Its sooooo frustrating!

Bronwyn's got a great personality. Some KZreadrs are boring, but Bronwyn isn't.

If you ask a question... belittling will ensue... everytime!

@ThisisBronwyn

Жыл бұрын

That can absolutely be the case. It’s horrible.

@pilarq7886

6 ай бұрын

Wow youre 1000% right !!

@jackcarraway4707

Ай бұрын

Meanwhile when you make a mistake they'll tell you that you should have asked.

My boss is way younger than me, sets me up whenever possible. I have been trying to get a new job. Age 63 is tough to find one

I believe whenever you apply for a management job, you are asked of how to build a trusting work environment, how to nurture your staff and how to ensure health and well-being of yourself and those you will manage. Could you please explain to us why such horrible people are promoted or employed to be the bosses while they are so toxic?

@ThisisBronwyn

Жыл бұрын

Because some of them are very good at “managing up” and the only way to stop that is by companies doing 360 reviews … asking for anonymous feedback from those “below” in the hierarchy and not just above.

My boss is a true company man, as well as being objectively the most fake personality I've encountered in recent times - without pathologising too much, he's the definition of toxic positivity! Always dismissive of any thoughts offered which he considers are outside the box, these go straight into the too hard basket. Despite my performance never slipping, I'm always ethical in meeting the needs of the service users I'm working with (I'm a social worker), he consistently pulls me into a separate room with no notice, and talks AT me, no room for shared understanding, no room for negotiation, it's always turned around on me, it's my issue that I'm 'not resilient enough'

@ThisisBronwyn

Жыл бұрын

Sounds like a real gem … I’m being sarcastic here. That toxic positivity is the worst.

@pilarq7886

6 ай бұрын

Please seek a legit metaphysical store to manifest better boss & job & pay...i like Dragon something in MESA/GILBERT AZ ...yes i Love Jesus the Holy Son of God

Does this count as "toxic boss"? My supervisor basically insulted me to my face today. She was upset when I had signed up for a shift where there was nobody there to work with me. I'll admit, I am MUCH better with a helping hand and guide, and that I'm kind of a slow learner, but come on, that's no excuse for how direct and opinionated she was. Has that loser ever heard of a thing called tact, or even faith or potential? You shouldn't underestimate people, especially to their faces! When she asked me if I thought I could do the shift by myself, I said, "yes," and she disagreed. She said she didn't think so, was all "I've told you not to sign up for shifts by yourself, I've been very clear about that" (something like, that, so I'm not perfectly quoting her), and she told me I need someone there to give me instructions and guide me. She was basically saying directly to my face that I was not independently capable. I guess you could say she was implying I was helpless. Either way, she TOTALLY indicated she had no faith in me. I'm mad at myself for not standing up to her. She intimidates me when she's in a bad mood, but still, at the very least, I should've told her I believed in myself, to subtly hint, "Unlike you, so stop with the underestimation, you bigot." Was she indeed being toxic, or is the idea all in my head? Is this a good reason to quit the job?

My boss highjacks meeting with him and constantly misunderstands me ( kind of to a comedic degree where he hears the opposite of what I say)First I genuinly thought that we just use different styles of expressing ( choise of words and proffessional background) I always tried to explain in a different way, try to find common language so that it is easier for both os us. But it doesnt help. He is the ONLy 1. that does this ( Im a consultant so I work with a lot of different people. I have obviously experienced different kinds of resistance to the point where some people yell, and of course, also a lot of positive experiences in managing difficult communication) But never like this. First couple of months I really thought that it was me who didn’t know him that well, and thus miscommunication. But the level of misunderstanding, I am experiencing right now, so either that he really doesn’t know the topic we’re discussing or that he is actually gaslighting me. To the point where I thought that there is really something wrong with me and my communication skills and was starting to be afraid to say anything. But then again, I remember that somehow everybody else gets exactly what I’m saying. So now I’m thinking, maybe it really is gaslighting. Can you help - I don’t know what to think anymore

@ThisisBronwyn

Жыл бұрын

Sounds like classic gaslighting to me, my friend.

@Illenwyn1

Жыл бұрын

@@ThisisBronwyn Thank you! Its good to not feel like Im loosing my mind 😩

@King_Kassie

3 ай бұрын

Exactly what I’m going through right now. For some reason, he understands the other paralegal PERFECTLY- the first time but when it’s me it’s a different story.

@MrsTruthTeller

20 күн бұрын

Yep! I am going through this as well. Constantly being misunderstood but will have a conversation with someone else they understand me perfectly fine. Yes, this is gaslighting and also an emotional manipulation tactic to make you feel insecure and insignificant.

This hasn't happened to me at work, but at kindergarten with my baby who can't speak and couldn't tell me what's going on. There aren't videos on yt about gaslighting with kindergarten staff or as a parent with your kids' teachers. I've watched other gaslighting videos and try to apply them to my situation. Your video was fantastic! Specially no other video said the phrase "They talk you out of your needs" instead of telling you that they can't meet your needs. Still, it's difficult for me to 100% think that yes 100% I've been gaslighted, still a part of me wonders if I'm the problem and they're just good people trying their best and they make mistakes. My situation involves: We enrolled our daughter in kindergarten because we work and need someone to watch her, we don't have family who can do that. We also paid a monthly bill for her to eat lunch there. For 6 months, this happened: + I'd take her there in the mornings and I needed to leave for my formative courses, which I told them multiple times I was taking these courses, they would tell me every morning "You can't leave yet, you have to stay at least 30 minutes with her, otherwise it's not good for her mental health, she'll have abandonment trauma". So I'd stay because I'd get so worried and scared about traumatising my daughter. I'd watch the other parents leave, but they would insist everyday that I stay. I would tell them everyday "I have to do these courses otherwise I'm getting fired, can I go now? Can you hold her if she cries?" and they'd say "Don't leave yet, I'm too busy with the other kids, stay longer for your daughter's wellbeing, because she'll be traumatised", they kept scaring me about my daughter's wellbeing, and I even stopped showing up to my courses for a few weeks, because I was spending up to 2 hours with my baby in the classroom caring for her. + The day of my exam I told them I'd be at an exam and wouldn't be available. And as always, baby was staying to be fed, as we pay a fixed monthly fee for lunch. During my exam they called me. After the exam I was called again, and they urged me to go pick up my daughter saying she was very ill because I had left her that morning and I shouldn't have. I said "But I told you I have an exam" and they insisted "Yes I know, but you choosing the exam over your daughter has its consequences. She's very ill, please come get her now that you've finished the exam". I ran to get her, took me over an hour to get through the city. When I arrived there, my daughter was playing, she wasn't ill at all. I also learned that they never gave her lunch, despite me paying for it. They told me they were waiting for me to feed her at home, because I said I was on my way there. So they blamed not feeding her on me, saying I said I was on my way there, instead of looking at the clock, seeing how late it was and that they DID feed her classmates, and they just put her alone in a corner to play without eating with the others. + I started to suspect that they weren't feeding her as a regular thing. I confronted the tutor and he confirmed to me that they didn't feed her. All along the headmistress told me "Your daughter is perfectly well taken care of here, you have nothing to worry about, this is all a misunderstanding" and she told me this every single time I went into her office to talk with her. + I confronted 2 of the staff plus the headmistress in the same room, asked questions and also told them I don't think it's normal that they demand I spend my day here when I have courses to attend. They all said "Aw this is all a misunderstanding, I'm so sorry, we assumed that since the few times we offered food to your daughter she didn't want to eat, we stopped offering any food to her because it was going to waste, so we assumed that you would come pick her up in the afternoon and you'd give her something to eat at home". I was livid and said I'm paying for you to feed her, and the Headmistress said "Don't worry, I have a solution: We'll have a table and chair ready for you, and when everyday after your courses you come here and feed her yourself, we'll provide the food, the table and the chair" I was so angry and told them I'm not going to come here to feed my daughter which I'm paying them to do, and they responded that I should value more my daughter's wellbeing than my courses or my job. They would say "I'm so sorry about this misunderstanding! We assumed XYZ because you were doing ABC" and they'd blame me for not doing enough, for not leaving my job and my courses in order to be in the classroom, etc. They'd also deny that they ever called me on the phone and told me repeatedly that my daughter gets sick because I leave for courses too quickly and I don't stay there 2 hrs with her. If I could afford 2 hours, I'd be AT HOME with my daughter for 2 hrs, I wouldn't need kindergarten. I neglected my studies and work due to mom guilt. I had enough and I'm done with them. My husband and I have already started changing our whole life so our daughter can be safe with different people, not them. I even got an apology email from the headmistress, saying it's been all 6 months of misunderstandings. The thing is... do these people think malignantly, or do they truly believe that they are doing the right thing by involving a parent so much in the classroom? Instead of telling me "We can't meet your needs, we can't hold the baby if she cries, we can't feed her with her classmates", instead they constantly talked me out of my needs "But your daughter's wellbeing should be more important than your work", I'd tell them "I'm literally getting fired if I don't update my education" they'd continue to say "Yeah but... you signed her up for kindergarten and this is just how kindergarten is, you must spend hours a day here even if you have work or exams". It went on for 6 months, talking me out of my needs. I was paying them to do a job that they weren't doing, they actually wanted me to do their job. And still the mom guilt made me question my own reality, and a small part of me still wonders if maybe they just made mistakes. I wonder how many parents go through this with their kids' teachers and it's not talked about publicly.

You're great. Thank you.

@ThisisBronwyn

Жыл бұрын

Thank you!!

Thank you for this video I said that to my boss he wanted to bite my head off. It's a very bad situation I have never encountered this 😞rules changes regularly no updates and knit picking all the works

Excellent Video

My boss told me after the first two months that I asked my colleague in another country for help every five minutes, which was not true and got me mad and a week later repeated that infront of another colleague and put that in my KPIs. What should I do? Should I quit?

@iwastubed96

6 ай бұрын

Ask for proof of their claim?

Thank you for that. It's very helpful to clarify things. Do I get this correctly: Gaslighting is the perfect strategy to get rid of employees seeing that the gaslighter always wins and the victims are recommended to just leave? My takeaway from many similar videos is: start gaslighting yourself and you will win. This can't be it, right?

@ThisisBronwyn

Жыл бұрын

Ha! Love this. The takeaway is that if the ones in power are gaslighting consciously and have no interest in changing, you can’t “win”. If by “win” you mean “do your best work with integrity and be rewarded for it.” So you have a choice: stay and endure or leave and find your good elsewhere.

@IsabellaMaria15

Жыл бұрын

@@ThisisBronwyn thank you. I will continue to search for a method to win. Otherwise gaslighting must be named the one most-effective way to eliminate anyone. And to be honest: This can't be it. Very sorry to say but giving in is not a concept.

@ThisisBronwyn

Жыл бұрын

Well good luck and thank you for engaging with me!

@girlgrg

3 ай бұрын

I completely hear you Isabella and completely agree that this can’t be it. However, I am facing a scenario at work where I have been delivering non-stop, giving my blood, sweat and tears at work and the results are clear like night and day (for eg 8 sets of reports which were only delivered by Jul last year have all already been issued this year ie by April. The reports are purely managed, reviewed and issued by me, therefore the efficiency can only have come from me. Despite this, they called me into a meeting this past Thursday and asked why I wasn’t doing “more”…?!?! The reports aren’t even the only thing I’m working on!!!!! They even acknowledged this report workstream is a significant and complex workstream…). After the meeting, I realised that these people will never change. It is not a “misunderstanding”, it is their management style. No matter how much evidence you provide them with, how many times you prove them wrong…they will NEVER change. They already know what you’re telling them…! Therefore, I will have to agree with the creator of this video on seeking a new job. I have been with the firm 4 years and it’s the same comment every year from my bosses. My bf told me this sounds like a tactic that firms use. They find overachievers and hard workers and tell them their work is not up to par and no matter how much they are delivering, keep telling them the same thing which will keep yielding better and better results. But…sadly…the bosses will not change. The firm loves it because they are getting more for less. Therefore, unfortunately, I agree with @ThisisBronwyn that the only way those not in power or those not in a position of influence can “win” is by taking their sanity back. And sadly, most of the time, this is achieved by removing oneself from the situation, ie by leaving the job…which I am seriously considering. I am very well paid in my job but no amount of money is enough for this kind of treatment. No doubt I will find another gaslighter/liar…and my search will continue. Hope you do find a better way to deal with these kinds of situations. I genuinely mean it. Good luck :)

So the advice is to leave? I was hoping for more

@fallonrappaport5270

8 ай бұрын

That's the best solution

What can you do when you are 6 months in and you discovered this??? How is that explained in a job interview???? 😢

Dont

Should be titled, 'How to be more confused than you were before you clicked' Thumbnail promises HT cope, then asks if we're sure we're being gaslit. Maybe make a separate video and deliver what you promised, here.