Omg.. I was in a trauma bond with a covert narcissist of a boss. Soon I felt like walking on eggshells, feeling wrong about everything, brain fog, extreme fatigue, fibriods, anxiety. So grateful out of that mess!

@soufwesthoustontx

3 ай бұрын

I had the same issue minus the fibroids. Two years of toxic environment and walked away with nothing, but damaged mental health. Thank goodness I left. They kept trying to communicate with me after.

Never contact HR they work for employer not on your side. Get a lawyer.

I just want to add that narcissists tend to gravitate towards leadership positions due to their sense of entitlement and need for control. This is why we are far more likely to have them as bosses. All of my bosses exhibited toxic narcissistic behavior towards me or other coworkers who challenged or questioned their policies. It’s scary out there.

@ThisisBronwyn

2 жыл бұрын

So verrry true. But there is a trend toward “servant leadership” and it gives me hope!!

Asking HR to be there is the WORST thing you could do. They will lie for the boss because that's who pays them. They are NOT your friend or even a unbiased observer. Trust me, I learned the hard way with a lawsuit and the things HR was saying behind my back that came out in discovery was shocking.

@soufwesthoustontx

3 ай бұрын

Did you at least win your case?

@2Bluzin

3 ай бұрын

@@soufwesthoustontx Unfortunately no, it was kind of a draw. The company separated themself into 2 legal teams, one for them and one for HR. They had unlimited funds to fight it, my lawyers were working pro-bono. My one mistake was that when I physically handed HR a paper with my complaint, it mysteriously disappeared, HR did "not recall" meeting with me and I did not think ahead of time to bring someone with me to prove they had physically received it.

@soufwesthoustontx

3 ай бұрын

@@2Bluzin Yeah it's always best to scan a paper document before submitting, or send an email. If handing a paper document in, then it's best to send a follow up email right after saying something like, hello this is a follow up to our meeting earlier in which I submitted xyz." That way even if they claimed it didn't happen you have the email for documented proof.

I just broke up with my narcissist boss today and it felt absolutely amazing! It was during our regular 1:1 meeting. It started with pleasantries, moved into him triangulating and trying to gaslight me at which point I cut him off saying I’m done with the conversation and verbally gave my resignation. He immediately switched from tarnishing my professional reputation to begging me to stay. It was immediate sweet retribution. I stood firm, emphasized my commitment to a seamless transition and ended the call. I did incorporate some of your advise so thank you very much!

@ThisisBronwyn

2 жыл бұрын

Boom!!!!! Crushed it!! Congrats!!! It is not easy what you did.

@Rrrrcc4666

Жыл бұрын

OMG, i did last night. I slept like a baby after 2 months literally. The stress started to affect my sleep and my health. Thank God to give me insight and courage to do this, so many people don't have choice to do so.

@ThisisBronwyn

Жыл бұрын

Yes!!!!!! Yes to all of this!! 👏

@gradydl

4 күн бұрын

Oh boy tomorrow is my day...AND she is giving me my formal review...I will smile through the list of her nitpicking accusations, maybe even agree, Yes, I take 3, not 2 minutes to pee, you're right. Then hand her my letter and say" This is as far as I'm willing to take this relationship"

I resigned over a zoom call. I had not planned it. We were having a conversation around my deliverables and he says to me ‘we haven’t been able to built a rapport and i over complicate things ‘ . I got thrown off got a little agitated and said ‘this is not working for me either and I think its best I leave I’ll put in my resignation after this call’ . He was quite for 5 to 8 seconds and then said ‘that’s the approach to take’ and told me to see the HR lady. He cut my access off within minutes (vindictive) and then called me to say he doesn’t expect me to work for the notice period and I can come and say bye to the team when I hand in my assets. I put in my heart and soul into this role. Worked my arse off. I cried yesterday as I felt a mix of emotions shame, loss and deep sense of failure. This incident has made me learn many lessons and I’m now working on healing myself. This was my first time exposure to a narcissist .

@happyone444able

5 ай бұрын

Oh my goodness! I had very similar experience. Tolerated this covert narcissist CEO for 6 months. I was getting sick, walking on eggshells, ALWAYS wrong according to his stupid self. I told him that we are NOT compatible, I am resigning. On a Zoom call. Within 2 minutes, like a spoiled rotten child, he signed me out of everything and terminated access. Then sent a horrible email to my home account. Thing is, his clients see his ignorance and they also are terminating business with him. But now I am trying to heal all this, while trying to secure another job. I’m beyond weary. Also: this was a Start Up company, so HR was his wife. I was the first US employee. Never again.

I'm applying/interviewing for jobs, but while I am still working with the narcissist i have resigned my responses to the most benign one word answers as possible. I stayed too long for my mental health, though, and feel pretty traumatized. I knew something wasn't right 5 years ago, and tried to get transferred away from them, but I didn't know it was narcissism or what narcissism was until 9 months ago. All the chaos, entitlement, confusion, irrationality, sabotage, etc suddenly had legs for me to understand I was right all along. I'm in therapy now, getting put on meds, seeing an HR leadership coach, back in school (something the narc had sabotaged) and actively interviewing for other jobs. I could use a year off, though. It is exhausting to work under someone with a mental illness that renders themselves and everyone around them incompetent. Too bad they aren't the one ones getting help.

@ThisisBronwyn

2 жыл бұрын

I am so sorry this happened to you… But it sounds like you’re on the right path! Unfortunately narcissists are the least likely to benefit from therapy. It’s the rest of us that have to do it. It is hardly fair but what can we do? Hang in there you are doing great!

@jmfs3497

2 жыл бұрын

@@ThisisBronwyn thanks for the content, kind words, and the very good reminder. The only one we can ever change is ourselves.

@gladiammgtow4092

Жыл бұрын

Personality disordered actually.

@jillfoley6834

11 ай бұрын

I had 17 years of his abuse. Seizure from Xanax, pulmonary embolism, quit before I had a heart attack. I still have pts after six years.

I resigned twice from a narcissist boss: two weeks notice last Thursday, and effective immediately this afternoon citing my mental health and my psychological safety around her.

@ThisisBronwyn

2 жыл бұрын

Good for you. Hopefully those reasons were documented so there is some accountability! But so often these things get “lost” conveniently right? Glad you are safe!

@ShortbreadPug

2 жыл бұрын

@@ThisisBronwyn HR was carbon copied in the email exchange. However, HR sounded unhappy when I had the offboarding call like I totally inconvenienced them.

@ThisisBronwyn

2 жыл бұрын

I’m sad to hear this. But it’s all too common. Looping in HR is always a necessary step but sometimes has no effect other than simply covering all of your steps, so that you can know you tried everything. If the boss is narcissistic and HR allows it, it’s time to dust off that resume. Which it sound like you did! Bravo. You will find something better!

@alexramos1502

5 ай бұрын

I did the same, resigned twice the second time I quit was immediately through HR email over a weekend. They were trying to give me options to stay even called before they accepted the official letter but nope I stood firm. I’m so much healthier now.

Imagine having a narcissistic hr manager whilst you are a hr administrator and this was your first hr role! Yup that's me! I quit after a few months. No thank youuuuu. I just acted confused like i didn't know what I want to do with my career and she kept asking me the same questions and staring into my soul because she wasn't satisfied with my answer. She even asked me if it was her!! She is a hr manager! Lol!! Unbelievable! She gave me the ick. Have never felt so anxious and stressed in a job in all my life!

@ThisisBronwyn

2 жыл бұрын

Good job getting the hell outta there!!!!!

@sugarandspice2136

Жыл бұрын

Me too! Some HR bosses are the absolute worst 😡

@ThisisBronwyn

Жыл бұрын

Truth!!!!

@jackbauer562

8 ай бұрын

My first meeting with my new manager (HR Director). She doesn’t set any single goal of the Department. She treated my like 💩. .. then 2nd 1on1, sane thing. I complained to my CPO, didnt do anything. I planned my exit, got an offer from a company and new position. Im starting on Monday, while on time-off with current company. If everything is good with my new company. I will resign immediately.

@gradydl

4 күн бұрын

That not being satisfied with your answer tactic is my ex 30 year marriage. So he would badger me for hours to get what he thought wanted to hear. I am leaving a job tomorrow with narc manager AND assistant director. I made it 7 months.

The last part of this video resonated with me so much I had to comment! Over the past year in my string of “bad jobs” I had to do some reflection on the fact that maybe it’s not just the boss or the company, but maybe this role/career path is just not how/where I want to spend my energy! Despite people telling me how great I am or how much potential I have and choosing my path for me…I am deciding to a different direction to find what makes me happy!

Just gave notice today at work. I used the phrases you suggested. Worked beautifully. I feel strong and have a mental clarity that I haven’t felt in years. Before I gave notice I felt shut down, dead inside, my brain had difficulty functioning. Today, now I feel free. I have two weeks left but I feel strong and assured. Of course she accused me of being selfish and not a team player.

@ThisisBronwyn

11 ай бұрын

Of course!! So happy for you … the best is yet to come!!!

Thank you. I am writing this from home, at the time I would normally be expected in our morning stand-up meeting. I'm crying. I packed up my office and walked out Friday night after everyone else went home. It's bittersweet. I love my job, my patients, and my co-workers. But my peace and serenity, along with my physical and mental health, were deteriorating on a daily basis. I wish I'd discovered your videos last month. Maybe I could have been stronger and pushed through or resigned in the way you taught in this video. However, after watching this and a number of your other videos, I will retain this knowledge and take it forward into my next journey. I wish I'd had the guts to tell the truth about how I was treated. But I'm free now and need to decompress and restore my serenity and sanity! I'll keep watching 👀

@ThisisBronwyn

Жыл бұрын

So proud of you for doing the work and trying to understand what happened and how to protect your spirit!! You will find something infinitely better. Sending love!

A recognizable pattern that I’m seeing from exes to bosses. I’m ready for my nervous system to not be in fight, flight, or freeze.

@ThisisBronwyn

Жыл бұрын

It’s the only way to fly! :)

This is an excellent video. I need to get rid of a narcissistic employee. I actually have 3 narcissists in my team, but one is the narcissist guru of all of them all. So much toxicity, mad accusations, self-centred approach, talking behind my back, absolutely crazy ideas how to get the job done, always "no" to anything which comes from others, zero enthusiasm unless it's their ideas. 3 years in this. Enough.

I quit my job yesterday. They have the audacity to say my performance was shocked the longer I stayed instead of accepting my resignation. However two weeks earlier they tried to make you stay in the company and even wanted to give me a pay rise.

@ThisisBronwyn

2 жыл бұрын

Good God talk about mixed messages! Glad you are free of that place! Onto better things!

In dealing with this type of situation, this is EXACTLY what I needed to hear, especially the ending message about what my own part in this situation is. To the point, concise and honest. Thanks!! Will not let the pattern repeat again

Also, one more important thing to remember for how to spot a Narcissistic boss. This is just my advice, you can take it or leave it. Anywhere you go to work. (Specifically if you are starting fresh with a NEW job) There is no way of knowing who at your new job are Narcissists. Do NOT let "anybody" (whether they are narcissists or not) at your work-place know how intelligent you really are. "Just play dumb," this is important. "Say nothing, know nothing." Do not give them any brilliant ideas, your opinions, personal outside-life information, etc. Do not give them anything to *work* with, to use against you. The more quiet you are, the more the Narcissists (if they are present) will be attracted to you. And then should have a good general idea of who in the workplace might be a Narcissist. A Narcissistic boss WILL ask you questions or watch you in order to try and gauge how smart you are. When they don't percieve you as a threat, they will begin trying to control you. When this happens (through words and actions) start slowly letting it become obvious how smart you actually are at dealing with the problems and obstacles that they try to throw at you. Very subtly... make it *seem* as though you knew all along, and were on to their game from the start. This will then, take them by surprise AND frustrate them. Their reaction, when they realize that you were more intelligent than YOU led them on to believe, will be priceless. It will make them feel dumb and their ego will shatter. When this happens, you can definitely expect "retaliation" in return. It will be at that point that you should make the important decision of whether you want to "tough it out," or "quit and find someplace else." Hope this helps.

I just quit a job with a narcissistic boss and he did everything you said. Luckily I had a witness when I quit because I knew things wouldn't go well if I didn't. Later, he kept cornering me in my office with the door closed and trying to talk me into staying, and then he'd tell everyone in team meetings that I agreed that I wasn't really leaving. Eventually, he did just tell me to leave before two weeks was up. The other thing you might want to note is that the boss will likely say he/she fired you or pushed you out. You probably don't want him/her for a reference later. I'm not sure if my ex boss said he fired me yet, but another guy quit with no witness, and it went from "I didn't fire him, but I pushed him out" to "I had to fire him" but I know for a fact that the guy completely voluntarily quit.

@ThisisBronwyn

Жыл бұрын

This is absolutely correct. So we’ll said and so infuriating. Glad you got out.

Thank you so much for your help! Corporate narcs are no joke. My health has been so badly affected that I've literally thought and said, "wow, all this stress and disorganization is putting me on the track to a heart attack before I turn 27...". Thank you for this great advice! I'm gearing up to leave a toxic work environment and micromanaging, gossiping boss.. it's been so terrible as an empathetic person...I tried my best and trying further, I've learned, is hurting me. Freedom here I come!🎉

@ThisisBronwyn

Жыл бұрын

Go get em!!! So happy you are taking care of yourself!!

@AuspiciousTarot

Жыл бұрын

@@ThisisBronwyn Thank you for your encouragement! Bagged an offer today, whoop whoop!

@ThisisBronwyn

Жыл бұрын

🎁🌺🌟💃💯🌴🙏🤗🔥🤗

Thank you! I was able to resign from a toxic boss w/o blaming myself. Life is short!

@ThisisBronwyn

2 жыл бұрын

Go Eugene!!!!!!

@biapia9879

Жыл бұрын

2:50

Make no mistake, HR is NOT an employee's friend. When my toxic boss at a large pharmaceutical company misquoted the vacation policy (from 4 weeks down to 2 weeks), I contacted the HR department for backup. Even though I was right, the first thing HR did was to call my boss to tell him that I called them.

Thank you thank you thank you!!! I am "Breaking up" with my narcissist boss tomorrow and it has been such a stressful idea for me because I am his only employee.... And I am actually scared he will hurt me. But I have gotten pepper spray, and will be recording on my phone through my pocket. Anyway... I really appreciate the "this is as far as I'd like to take this relationship" comment. I cannot wait to be free! Yes! Thank you again!

@ThisisBronwyn

2 жыл бұрын

If you don’t feel physically safe, have someone there with you!!!! I’m worried for you! Glad you’re getting out!!

@KatWest20

2 жыл бұрын

Just wanted to update you. I gave my notice the following day and he asked me what he did wrong to deserve me leaving. I told him that I didn't want to go into it but he insisted and so I said "to sum it up, you have disrespected me as a person and that isn't something I'm willing to compromise." And then... He turned it back around on me and said me leaving is my own fault because I didn't communicate. Se-la-vi, I stayed there three days and completed a big project and when that was done he yelled at me, threw my check at me and told me to get out. I can laugh now though because there is nothing he can do to me anymore! He has texted me a few times, but I've got him on block so I can't see the messages. Thank you again! If it weren't for the confidence I got from your video I wouldn't have been able to do this!

@ThisisBronwyn

2 жыл бұрын

@katina king I am so freaking proud of you!!! You know you’ve got a narcissist on your hands when they throw a full on tantrum. Go celebrate!!!!

This is excellent advice! However, I saw this video after my resignation. I resigned. However, I had a lot of things in my office. She said that I could leave immediately and told me to come at the end of the week to clean out my room. I arrived on Friday to clean out my room and she would not let me enter. I had to call PD to get an escort to get my stuff!!! Unreal! The power dynamic was really strong with her. I was able to peel back her mask and I don't think she really liked it!

HR receives their paycheck from the employer not the employee. They are not there to protect you. They are there to protect the company from a law suit. So, you can document all you want. But unless you have the means to seek legal counsel, your documentation does nothing.

Wise words! In my experience Narcissists are so destructive. Their businesses could do so well except for that fact that they are their worst enemy. The one I know even has imaginary conversations with people and then pick fights when those people get off the script he had on his head. Pure craziness!

@ThisisBronwyn

2 жыл бұрын

Total insanity!

@biapia9879

Жыл бұрын

1:38 1:38

@biapia9879

Жыл бұрын

1:47 1:47

I really appreciate the compassion you expressed. 8 years. 8 years. I can't begin to unpack the trauma. I am planning to quit on Monday. Very powerful, malignant narcissist. HR works to cover THEM. I am thinking about lying about my mother being sick. Allow me to share some alternate takes. You can't bring a witness with you - the boss will view that as negative and it will trigger them. Your best bet is to lie and pretend you are leaving for a reason that has nothing to do with them eg spouse must move across country, must care for sick relative. Any hint of "this is happening to you" will trigger a narcissist badly.

@ThisisBronwyn

2 жыл бұрын

You are so right… In malignant narcissist situation your best bet is to get out! Find another gig. Do whatever you can to extricate yourself! Some situations are beyond repair and they don’t deserve you.

@toujoursici1675

2 жыл бұрын

@@ThisisBronwyn Thank you for taking the time to respond. Hearing from people who have been in similar situations is incredibly fortifying. I appreciate your encouragement!

@ThisisBronwyn

2 жыл бұрын

“Fortifying” … what a great word! That’s what this channel is all about. Go forth and shine, my friend!

Thank you so much Bronwyn. I have watched over 50 videos or more on what to do about a narcissist boss and this one was more truthful and realistic than them all. The other videos mostly dealt with staying at the job and beating them at their own game, that is unrealistic and dangerous. A year later and I am not sleeping well and I am struggling with anxiety, depression and hopelessness. The script idea is perfect, along with having someone in the room as a witness. In the past my female boss has been known to scream at me and send me belittling text messages while leaving me alone to do a project that requires 4 to 5 people. She sends me texts on my days off even though I ignore most of them. I do have unresolved trauma and I am seeking professional help that is much needed. I grew up with a narcissist mother and I was married to a narcissist. Thank you again and I really appreciate listening to a realistic view on how to resign from a narcissist boss. Great video!!!!!

@ThisisBronwyn

2 жыл бұрын

Oh LISA! I am so sorry this is happening to you but it sounds like you were doing all the right things! Stay strong, know you are loved and keep moving!

I worked for a well-known paper company that seemed to have an abnorally large number of toxic employees. The sales trainer asked me to buy film for his company camera - then kept the film AND the receipt which was in effect stealing from me. He tried other ways to steal from me after that, but I was wise to his ways. He also had an affair with one of his trainees, which ended her marriage. My sales manager protected the underperforming male employees in my work group and looked for ways to harrass his top performing female employees. His boss was no different. My hypothesis is that there were toxic people in top management at the company who condoned bad behavior down through the ranks. I was thrilled to give my notice when I received a fabulous job offer from a highly respected company in the pharmaceutical industry. The look look on my bosses face when I resigned was truly priceless. 😂

I love that line. I was somewhat robbed of the opportunity when the narc boss, no doubt sensing the jig was up after her deplorable behavior yesterday (yes I did this today). She called in sick haha. So I had already cleared my things out in preparation but for one item. I ended up asking another key member (a board member) to join me in the office where I indicated the item was the last of my property left for me to remove and handed him my entry card saying “and this is the last of of your property to give to you.” I’be taken another position and am leaving today” The end. Then I walked out and felt lighter than I have in the 3 months I worked there. I took my power back. It is true that I’ve had more than my share of narcs in my life. I did hire a therapist during this time and will be taking a look as to why this may be.

@ThisisBronwyn

2 жыл бұрын

Wowwww. Triumphant exit!!!! Brava

@catherineromero1862

2 жыл бұрын

@@ThisisBronwyn thank you. Feels good!

❤ the impromptu singing! I resigned from a narcissistic boss only after 4 weeks of working with him! He did a great job in absolutely killing my joy in work. Unfortunately, I worked in his house so he was verbally abusive as much as he wanted. He found out I was applying elsewhere (my mistake - long story). That probably infuriated him and prompted him to fire me before I could fire him. When i sent him my resignation letter giving him 2 weeks or immediate notice, he quickly sent his TERMINATION letter to me onky minutes later! It also included a nice threat to sue me if I tampered with his IP. Thankfully he said he wanted immediate notice. BEST thing ever - Good riddance to BAD rubbish! I did a lot of unpaid work and went beyond my job scope for him as well. But as soon as he, a narcissist finds out that you dont need them, they'll either try to lure you back or axe you like you were nothing all along.

@ThisisBronwyn

Жыл бұрын

That is truth right there! So glad you’re free!!

The problem is when Narc boss recruited hr and they ganging up on you

@ThisisBronwyn

Жыл бұрын

Yep. It’s the classic “flying monkeys” strategy. Once this happens it’s very hard to win. Find a better job ASAP !

@leratogao2267

Жыл бұрын

@@ThisisBronwyn thanks a lot dear, I’m handing in my resignation on Tuesday

@ThisisBronwyn

Жыл бұрын

Brava. Be clear, be brave and be BRIEF. Do not overexplain. Just do your thing. Sending you strength!

My belief is that the best way to deal with a narcissist is to avoid them. They don't have any credibility concerning anything work-related or otherwise in my life. I don't value their opinion at all. I don't let them get under my skin too much. Send an email to HR. You don't have to cc your boss. It's just like a family member that is narcissistic. You greyrock them.

Good advice, sistah!

I wish I would have come across this sooner! My narcissist office manager had me crying on the way out the door, telling me, How dare you leave, look at all I’ve done for you, the raises I got you. And yet she gave her notice before I did to the company and got understanding, no yelling.

I resigned today by email while being harrased by my bosses on my sick leave. It was 7 pages long resignation 😎💪

@helloyello8744

10 ай бұрын

i resigned over email this weekend! and promptly shut my phone off for 4 days bc i was so scared of my angry boss harassing me lol

@helloyello8744

10 ай бұрын

i think my boss is a communal narc with an obsessive compulsive personality

@smoothiecutie2277

6 ай бұрын

@@helloyello8744 Ha! 👍👍👍. I resigned last week 1.23.24

Why resign? Sue him and expose his BS before moving on. He will regret it and cry his eyes out.

I work in HR, my boss is Head of HR, has a Masters degree in Psychology and is a total covert narcissist. Why are so many psychologists, coaches and therapists Narcs?!? How do i quit her?!?

I wish I had come across this video yesterday before resigned. This was my first experience in my legal career of over 30 years with a narcissistic boss. There was nothing I could do right. He would barge into my office to criticize my work. I began to get really stressed whenever he was in the office. Every time he said "knock knock" I would begin shaking. Never felt like that before in my life, He did not respond to my resignation letter. Instead, his wife who is the office manager, sent me an email letting me know the resignation was accepted and I would not be allowed to stay out the 2 weeks. I am still trying to wrap my head around what happened and how it happened.

@beauthentic7493

Ай бұрын

You might have dodged a bullet.

I am having this conversation TODAY, so thank you 🙏🏽 I found it helpful.

@ThisisBronwyn

2 жыл бұрын

Sending you strength and grace. You’ve got this!! Let me know how it goes!

Bronwyn, wow what a great video, but more than that congratulations on venting out into KZread. You're doing fantastic and the likes and subscribers will roll in, you have a magnetic personality.

@ThisisBronwyn

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much for this wonderful note!!! I need all the encouragement I can get!! 😂 shine on!

This can be tricky when you're a federal employee transferring to another. The gaining agency must ask for request for release date. The covert narc can always reach out to the gaining boss and spread doubt about you.

Love this!

I am watching your video very early in the morning because I could not sleep at all last night. I am in my mid 50s, with a masters degree, and I’m terrified. I have been working for a controlling lying manipulative narcissistic boss (and owner of the company) who has made my life hell for the last three years. I have stayed while I looked for another job, but I have not been able to find anything. I’ve applied, but I have not gotten any calls. For the last month I have been having anxiety and panic. Yesterday I felt my heart racing and pounding so fast. I was hyperventilating. I want to resign but I’m scared because I have nothing else. I will lose my home, my health insurance, etc. I have to resign, to protect both my physical and mental health, and hope that I can find something else soon. Thank you for this video.

@ThisisBronwyn

Жыл бұрын

Reach out to your network of friends and family for leads on jobs! Those almost always yield more than blind applications!!! Stay strong and hang in there. You are not crazy and you are not alone!

@AJ-jy5fv

Жыл бұрын

You will get something.. keep hope 🙌☀️

@Expansion1111

Жыл бұрын

I’m in the same boat my friend your not alone

@smoothiecutie2277

4 ай бұрын

I hope that everyone is doing well. 3.7.24

I left my toxic job with a narcissistic boss in December. It was so hard and I am an empathetic person so it took my so long to do it, I actually gave 4 weeks notice and I was told that wasn’t enough time (it was at at will position). I was guilt tripped all the time. This video was exactly what I needed at the time, it’s empowering funny and I really used some of the techniques they really do work! The love bombing is real. I felt much more confident in my last meeting because of this video. Thank you so much for sharing. Stay strong people you’ve got this.

This is, hands down, the best relevant advice I’ve seen after watching dozens of videos. We come from the same industry and “you get me” - thank you Bronwyn!

@ThisisBronwyn

2 жыл бұрын

Yeyyy!! So glad it’s helpful and thank you for watching!!

You had me with the Flavor Flav reference, Well done

@ThisisBronwyn

Жыл бұрын

😂

Thank you so much. Not only am I dealing with a narcissist client, I run my own business. They are also a raging alcoholic. When she started rage texting me at 2 a.m. telling me not to drink her bottle water? That's it. Of course the next day I am supposed to pretend she didn't display any bad behavior. Again

@ThisisBronwyn

11 ай бұрын

So brutal. She’s in a lot of pain and causing a lot of pain as a result. Stay strong and make sure your side of the proverbial street is clean. And release the rest!

Yes girl! I needed this help 🙌

@ThisisBronwyn

11 ай бұрын

Here for ya sister! 🙌

Thank you!!

Thanks for the energy and optimism, this is great and super useful for me. I’ll try to have your same smile next Monday when I’ll say bye byeeeee. And I might be watching again this video just as energy booster a few minutes before the call.

@ThisisBronwyn

2 жыл бұрын

You’ve got this, Elisa!!!! Stay grounded, know that you are loved. Shine on!

Thank you for this video, you will never know how much it has helped me.

@ThisisBronwyn

Жыл бұрын

This makes me so happy!

TOMORROW IS THE BIG DAY FOR ME. So nervous but this has given me peace of mind. Let’s hope I can stick to the script and not be manipulated into staying like last year. 😭

@ThisisBronwyn

11 ай бұрын

Praying for you!!! 🙏 you SO got this.

Thank you so much for this video - the content was extremely helpful - much love from 🇦🇺

@ThisisBronwyn

2 жыл бұрын

Amazing Kim! I’m so glad you found it helpful! Thank you so much for leaving a comment it means the world!

I love your advices, I will say what you shared to my boss very very soon! Deep breadth….

@ThisisBronwyn

Жыл бұрын

You got this!!

Sending blessings for your channel to grow. 🌺 I learned a lot from this video 🙏

@ThisisBronwyn

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you, Lady Bee! I truly appreciate and feel the blessings!!!

Fantastic advice! Thank you!

@ThisisBronwyn

Жыл бұрын

So glad u found it useful!!

Also, love this video and your energy! I totally did all of these things 👏🙌 I do feel attacked about the patterns of picking crappy bosses from past trauma though 🤣🤣 spot on! X

@ThisisBronwyn

2 жыл бұрын

Love that you are doing this work!! It’s not easy and takes courage!! Shine on and thank you for watching

Very enlightening. I feel like life is speaking to me and begging me to also get into coaching. I'm looking into this now ❤

I'm preparing to resign from a toxic workplace with a narcissist boss. I left the military after 16 years, started this job last year, and this boss is more autocratic, micromanaging, and toxic than any boss I ever had in rhe military! She doesn't like me because I dont get involved in drama and don't react to her tantrums. We have to give one month's notice so I'm sure she'll try and make thar hell for me.

Loved this video! I'm about to leave a job with a narcissistic boss next week and needed this sort of guidance (especially the script). Fingers crossed that I stay strong and don't react.

@ThisisBronwyn

2 жыл бұрын

Sorry for the late response … how did it go??? I’m rooting for you over here!!!!

@hstark9209

2 жыл бұрын

@@ThisisBronwyn It went surprisingly well. It felt awkward for a second, not explaining myself, but I was direct and clear. I typed up my resignation letter before meeting, expressing how long I am willing to stay for the transition and outlining the tasks I would complete before my exit (added that I understood if they wanted me to leave immediately). She asked me to think about it, but I told her I am firm in my decision.

@ThisisBronwyn

2 жыл бұрын

@@hstark9209 bravo!!!!!!! You nailed it!!!! So happy for you and thank you for sharing your story!!!!

@hstark9209

2 жыл бұрын

@@ThisisBronwyn Thank you for sharing this amazing approach!

@angelaroberts2882

2 жыл бұрын

Wow, congratulations!!! I am here for the Same reason. Your courage is inspiring and I am going to resign today from my job at a local gym. I am an independent contractor so two weeks is not needed.

I love you so much for this video it’s like you just narrated my life

@ThisisBronwyn

Жыл бұрын

So glad you’re here!! Sending you strength!

Even after years of trauma work in therapy, I still seem to attract narcissistic bosses, but I really like what you said about trying to understand what my life might be telling me. I will explore that, thanks! Please wish me luck in getting the heck away from this person.

Fk that he's gettin an Email :D

I should have seen this video a couple of months ago when I resigned. I took the NUCLEAR option after an awful, violent meeting he make me shut up, so I wrote a mail saying he was unprofessional, rude and erratic, reason why I was leaving. But due to my kind of contract I had to wait 4 MONTHS! (otherwise I should pay the company for leaving before). Needless to say he was furious and tried to blame me but I responded without engaging too much and saying "Yes, I'm all that you'r saying. Are you Ok with me sending this to HR?" and soon I did. I sleep very well that night but the next months were challenging, including increasing amount of responsibilities, projects and proposals to stay. But I finally left and now I'm recovering doing some gardening. You're right, I will need to do my due diligence on my job seeking and being more aware of toxic environments. Have a great day!

Thank you for being mentioned Rebecca zung

Thank You for this Video. I don't have a narcissist boss but I was with someone who was a narcissist.. he messaged me many years later and apologized for what he had done. He didn't even know that he was a narcissist when we were together. He has since met someone and got married, I believe. I actually believe it was a genuine apology too. It felt real and he hasn't even contacted me since then. This is the 2nd Narcissist video I watched by you (1 more to go, I believe.), but I also am the type that they like to pray on. I am very kind, caring, I give my full self, I also think communication is extremely important, people should talk everything out and understand each other's perspective. I have realized that I am easily manipulated. (Started to realize that over the last several years but until today I didn't fully realize it, not truly. I always believe the best in people and always give people the benefit and all. But, I think I was leading to these videos by you (because it has been quite a while since you popped up on my videos and I was supposed to be watching videos about helping homeless, but you popped up. The best and longest relationship I had, I taught him how to communicate and that being 100% open and honest about everything and that communication is super important. Well, after that, he started to wonder (I guess the 7year itch, it was 7-8 years.) And then, he leaves me and it traumatized me.. (over 2 weeks of my memory went blank. He and his family were living with us in my parent's place that I was renting. He met a girl online FAST, on a game. Through a friend of ours. And they started "talking" he manipulated me (since then he has admitted that he dis manipulate me, "in a good way") but he manipulated me into moving her into MY place, because supposivally she was in a dangerous situation. (Note she was supposed to get a job ASAP and move out. Oh, and on top of that, his mother and sister who lived with us didn't work, only income was my SSI, and my daughters. We both are disabled.. he didn'twork and originally ge wad supposedtobe writing a book but he got writers block then quit, all he would do is play video games. Not even help me raise our child, those are the only reasons we ever argued. Other than his family not working. And not moving out. His mom had a job at first, his sister was taken from her when she was young, unfairly. She was acting out in school and all and she when she was in foster care found out she had Aspergers. But, when she was in college she moved to live with us and was supposed to go back to college but she never did. She for years didn't even get a job either. But his mother did get a job for a few years but THE DAY his sister moved in she quit her job, so I had both of his family members living there not paying nothing.. my family was pissed. I was unhappy about it too. And it was AFTER we split up and I couldn't deal with it that his sister even got a job at all but still no money or anything from her at all. Then on top of that they move in another person who was going to be homeless.. (Though, they regretted it. He was a genderest pig! Ignored all the females and only spoke to my ex.) Note: He said before he came he would be okay with sleeping on the couch and he would get a job ASAP. Nope! Another lie! Because, he turned around and didn't get one or even look for one. No one even wanted a job at all, except for his sister who now years later is the only one who works. Though, his wife and mom now gets disability. Also, it took them 6 months to move out. And it was a living nightmare for me. I was more than depressed at that time. It was the darkest point in time of my life. But, I found out why his mother never moved the whole time.. it was because though he was telling me she would move, he was telling her not to move. I also found out why Ari or Forrest didn't get a job. It was because he was telling them not too. (For Forrest it was not too until they move and for Ari was because jer Anxiety. Well, my Anxiety is much worse than hers. But anyways, yeah. I realize now what all he has done to me. -- this is not the Narcissistic Ex BF, I was talking about. There was one guy after him and then this guy.. this one was the love of my life. But, I realize while I type this all of the lies he told me and I realize he isn't the man I always thought he was.. Then after him was a guy that was great and all, but younger than me and than I ever thought I would be with.. he is my baby sisters age. Then there was this guy who told me he had Narcissistic Tindencies. This guy was extremely toxic for me and supposivally I for him? (From what I think someone told him. His aunt said I was good for him, I helped him alot. Helped him get his life together but he is also disabled and was homeless. I helped him have a place to stay and my father helped him put applications to get a job, but over all it did take his aunt to contact a friend of hers and help him get the job. But, the push from my Dad to get the job got him off his behind and show his aunt he was willing to try. So, that was why she and her friend helped him get it. But he was a recovered adict. Things happened and he ended up in a wreck and in an apartment and his homeless brother that got him hooked on it, was staying with him and got him back on it. He did it infront of me (which was something he said before that would happen. He said he might slip a couple of times but he told me that when it happens in front of me I would punch him. I am not a violent person, I am a passivest. I hate violence, but if someone is attacking someone I love, I might do something about it. I am afraid of violence. Anyways, when he did it, I didn't know what to do I just sat there thinking "this isn't happening", I was so out of my element it is unreal. I was wanting to just vanisj. I shook my head no and tried to say no but I had no idea what to do. I was unsure what to do. I was scared. I was at his place and all 3 people there were doing stuff and I didn't like it at all. It was sooo scary. I didn't like it at all. I was scared. Sorry for telling you my life story. I guess I am on a journey to some kind of self discovery but I do not know what yet. I do not see the pattern yet. I guess, maybe it is that I um am Manipulated to easy. Still trying to figure this one out. Also, maybe I need to figure out why and fix but I don't know how to fix.. the fact that people scare me. Why am I soo afraid of people? Why do I just sit there when I am scared and uncomfortable? I feel this may be a little bit of not but not all of it. Anyways, sooo very sleepy. I need to sleep now. Take Care & Stay Safe! I wish you a Good Health! Love and Peace. I wish you all the best in your, Current and future endeavors! LOVE AND LIGHT!

@ThisisBronwyn

2 жыл бұрын

Oh my goodness! Big hearted people can sometimes attract users. Remember that you can have an open heart but also have good, strong boundaries. Thank u for the comment!

I’m in the process of resigning from a boss that I suspect has narcissistic tendencies. I put in my 2 weeks notice on Wed through email and I tagged two other supervisors that I trust. I will utilize these tips throughout the process!

Love the pig quote 😂 oh that’s so good !!

@ThisisBronwyn

Жыл бұрын

Isn’t it the best!!??

Thank you! This is exactly what I needed to hear. And exactly what is happening. I am transitioning to teaching because my field is full of big egos, but I need to hang in there before I can have this conversation. Do you have a video about how to handle this in-between time?

@ThisisBronwyn

2 жыл бұрын

Great idea!! Will work on this!!!

Just this this today, May Day! May Day!

@Poliflix76

Жыл бұрын

The narcissistic owner and enabling HR manager have given me cold shoulder for two days since I submitted my resignation. Proof positive I made the right choice. I watched your video after I resigned, but my letter was just as you suggested. Leaving on my terms, not theirs!

Great video it’s a super tough situation for me. I work for my father and have my whole life. It’s all I know is working for him but the veil is lifted it’s time to go but I’m terrified

@ThisisBronwyn

Жыл бұрын

Being terrified is understandable! Take it a single day at a time. Keep doing the “next right thing.” That’s your entire focus. If you spin out on the long term, it will drive u nuts and keep you trapped! Sending you love and strength. And EXPANSION

Good info and funny 😄

@ThisisBronwyn

2 жыл бұрын

Thanks for watching!!

When I was leaving, he tried to falsely accuse me of a bunch of stuff I of course didn’t do, insult me, drag me into an argument, etc. I just kept saying “ok” and agreeing and circling back to final payment of invoices which he of course tried to weasel out of paying me. So glad to be away from that loon and all the flying monkeys!

HR is the boss's husband- can't 'pull in hr'

I went into full blown depression as a result. Also i asked for a transfer and my boss still retaliated against me

I've seen my narcissistic boss do all of this. He did actually get me to stay last time I resigned. I've also seen him punish people by screwing them around with their annual leave pay and changing their departure date without consulting them. He gets super emotional when someone leaves, drags them into a meeting and makes them explain everything and why they are leaving. Its ways the same responses. Micromanaged Talked down to like a child Constantly moving goal posts He then comes out the meeting and talks everyone one by one about the meeting and how the other person got emotional and crossed the line. He's constantly gaslighting and implying we've done something wrong when we've followed his orders. He just forgot or changed his mind... but the same task is different every time because his only consistency is inconsistency. Currently actively looking for another job but it's hard in a smallish town to get a good paying job. (He pays people a premium to stay, because he knows hes hard to work with)

@ThisisBronwyn

2 жыл бұрын

Jared this is so hard … so emotionally exhausting and deflating. Hang in there and trust that you will find something!!

@rockstarofredondo

9 ай бұрын

This is exactly how a boss I just left was. My husband worked there too and witnessed all of this craziness. We are so happy to be free of the crazymaking!

What about when the industry seems to be full of narcissists?

Just subscribed. Would you happen to have another channel for karaoke? Decent voice control. JS 😂

@ThisisBronwyn

2 жыл бұрын

Genius idea!!!

Why do employees feel trapped when they work for a narcissist?

@ThisisBronwyn

Жыл бұрын

Great question!! I think it could be a lot of things that contribute to feeling trapped, but one is that the narcissist is very good at creating a reality that seems difficult to escape. What do you think?

Yes but you can’t determine who is a narcissist boss! They could love bomb in the interview .

🙏🏻✨

Every boss is a narcissist just about

@ThisisBronwyn

Жыл бұрын

Oh man! I’m so sorry this has been your experience!! I have had a majority of great bosses and a few that were narcs

Last week after 5 years I could take my narcissistic boss/owner of the company I burned the bridge and danced on the ashes.it amazing to finally be free

@ThisisBronwyn

2 жыл бұрын

Byeeee!! Amazing and congratulations 🎉🎈🍾

I'm a teacher with a narcissistic division director that no one above holds accountable. I was recently given a contract for next year. My dilemma is completing the school year, which is 2 more months. The type of school that I’m at requires me to have my students for a 3 year cycle. So I have returning families under the impression I will return. I’m so confused as to what move to make. I hate feeling as if I’m duping the families and students when I know I am done with this school. We have an open house soon and I feel they have the right to know…

@ThisisBronwyn

Жыл бұрын

First of all, just by hearing how you’re thinking about this says so much about you. You’re a person of real integrity. That is worth celebrating. As for what to do, I really can’t advise you. But what I can do is remind you that if the situation is starting to impact your health, you’re of no service to anyone. But I don’t know enough (and am not arrogant enough!) to assume I have the answer for you. Get as quiet and still as possible and ask for guidance from your highest self, or God, or however you want to call it. This isn’t easy but is an opportunity to connect with your own Knowing. Sending you strength!!

@Ms.Delphine1204

Жыл бұрын

@@ThisisBronwyn thank you so much for this response. Your channel has been so helpful to me and many others. You are right because I know the answer lies in my heart and I need a good old fashioned meditation session and check in 💙

@ThisisBronwyn

Жыл бұрын

Yes!! And take *exquisite* care of yourself. Your sanity and ability to shine depends on your ability to love and nurture that sweet self!! Sending you huge hugs and positive energy. 🤗

You cracked me up. But I was confused with why are attracting narcissistic bosses how are we to know if all we do is apply for the job?

@ThisisBronwyn

2 жыл бұрын

We can’t always know unfortunately. But if we have unresolved patterns with people like this, they sometimes continue to show up.

@family7545

2 жыл бұрын

@@ThisisBronwyn … indeed you are correct. Thank you 😊

@ThisisBronwyn

2 жыл бұрын

🤗

She made my life a living hell the last two weeks that I couldn't even fulfill them. I went in on my shift and the whole staff was ignoring me. they're running off the floo.r I was trying to get them to do stuff, so I went back to her I said come to the back office gave her my keys and said goodbye. now, human resources is calling me after I left and they want to know what's going on. I think they're taking this to the top and this the company needs to know what's going, the North face store. you cannot have a narcissist psychopath woman running a store like it's a bunch of kids in a candy store. it was the most unprofessional setting I worked in 40 years of retail. and I'm not a young kid if I was the owner of that company I would have fired her on the spot.

@ThisisBronwyn

Жыл бұрын

JEEZE. Sounds like an untenable situation. And like all untenable situations, it does have to resolve … either she leaves or the people who speak out against her leave. Typically there aren’t many other potential outcomes. Sad when this is allowed to permeate a culture.

Conversation over. Walk out the door. Then two weeks later that boss goes to the cops and accuses you of stealing. That cop believes them and proceeds to inform any and all other employers. You and your reputation lie in tatters. Lawyers ensue. Finances dwindle....and he wins again.

@vickimann3262

8 ай бұрын

Video meetings are revolutionary

Im gonna quit tomorrow wish me luck!

@ThisisBronwyn

Жыл бұрын

Sending you strength and luck!! 🤗

Thank you!!! May I ask additional advice? In my work we have 3 months notice, and I am afraid my boss will try to dig up legal mistakes I may have made just to get revenge out of me and throw the most mud he can. Is there a way to NOT make him revengeful?

@ThisisBronwyn

2 жыл бұрын

Anna that is hideous! But also totally possible and worth considering. If I were you, I would play out a worst case scenario and really figure out what your options are. Do you need to get outside support? You can’t let someone hold you hostage but you also might need to be ready to fight back with facts. Or accept your mistakes and own them. But don’t let someone hold you hostage like that. What do you think?

@DrAnnaPrengka

2 жыл бұрын

@@ThisisBronwyn thank you for your response. It’s indeed a difficult situation, I may be exaggerating the worst case scenario just to be prepared, but in Italy it happens quite often.

@ThisisBronwyn

2 жыл бұрын

@@DrAnnaPrengka I’m so sorry to hear that. Stay strong and know that I’m thinking of you and sending prayers that all goes well. You’ve got this.

@nurfatinshafiqah94

6 ай бұрын

Before you decide to resign, seek professional advice from legal authorities. They will help you figure out the solution as much as you can.

I worked full-time for almost 40 years so I came across several narc bosses in that time. First one engaged in all kinds of control stuff and it came to a head when he canceled my vacation time and rescheduled it. There was no reason for this other than showing me he was boss and could do it. I used the vacation time to look for a new job and got it. More money at a more prestigious company in a bigger city with more life to it. When I got back from my vacation, I asked to speak with him but he kept putting me off until I stood by his desk to give notice along with my written resignation, including the fact we were several days into my two-week notice, so I would only be working there 10 more days. I cherish the look on his face at that moment. Yes, love bombing went on after that and it sickened me. Second one, I left the department for another department within the company. Narc boss who did everything she could to disparage me and other high-performers went into a rage at the news of the switch, but there was nothing she could do about it. She lost so many good people -- the revolving door that can kill a manager's career -- that management noticed and demoted her. She stalked me, by the way, repeatedly calling my new manager to keep tabs on me until new manager called HR to get her to quit. Third narc was a bully toward me and others. She was warned and didn't stop so her manager title was taken away. She still had sway over decisions at our small company and continued to abuse people. Eventually, those responsibilities got taken away. She's still at the company but she's been warned that if there's one more incident, she'll be let go. (She brings significant money to the company, which may be why it's reluctant to fire her outright.) When she was still a manager, I switched hours so we wouldn't be working at the same time. That narc stalked me, too, changing her hours so she'd be working with me again. This factored in her getting demoted as it was so weird and creepy that people took notice and would comment "fatal attraction" about her. She gave the new hours up because they made her schedule difficult, but it still amazes me someone would go to such trouble to keep being a bully. This has been awfully long, but my message to those getting bullied at work is to remember you always have options. And DO NOT engage with HR as that creates the drama narcs feed on -- they have to be the center of attention -- though it's OK if others take their observations about what you're going through to HR on your behalf.

No love bombing with a lawyer

I put my 2 weeks in with my boss on the phone, i wrote up a simple letter and she still wants to talk on zoom. she wanted me to come to her house for a face to face! WTF. Should i still give her this zoom? i feel like its a waste of time, even if i am on the clock on my last week.

@selenazc

Жыл бұрын

side note, i have never had a boss like this. ive always left a job on good graces. she is a drama queen , and ive been on the side lines untill my supervisor became pregnant and i was willing to jump in for her on leave but the switch flipped and i had a target on my back.

@ThisisBronwyn

Жыл бұрын

So sorry happened to you!

@selenazc

Жыл бұрын

thank god i already have my new job ready! so if it gets nasty ill just leave

Working with a narcissist boss. IS Intolerable detrimental and unsafe and a hostile work environment. Grounds for unemployment.. video record everything. You can take it to the unemployment. And yes it is legal.

Hie Browyn, I wish to talk to you personally need your advice ,how can i be in touch

@ThisisBronwyn

2 жыл бұрын

DM me on IG! @bronwynsf

@shantelm2013

2 жыл бұрын

@@ThisisBronwyn thankyou I will definitely DM you

When the work environment becomes intolerable detrimental unsafe and hostel that's grounds for unemployment. Video record everything yes it's legal and yes you can take it to your unemployment hearrings.

HR is not there for you...

The power play where the narcissistic boss tries to trap an employee in a position is next level sadistic 😮 😵🫨😮‍💨 It's a setup for false promises, contrived acceptance and further abuse. DO NOT fall for it.