Note that the tactic I share in this video also applies to plans that aren't in-person as well. If you can't get together physically (distance, lockdowns), you use this strategy for things like Discord game nights (something my friends and I do quite often) 🙂 Here are some other videos I've done on friendships: How to make more friends: kzread.info/dash/bejne/pJZkqZKOp5CYgZs.html Build deeper friendships: kzread.info/dash/bejne/fJ16msarptLUlps.html Beat social anxiety when meeting new people: kzread.info/dash/bejne/e2F9rcaKk7utcZs.html Hope these help!

@athullnexus5450

2 жыл бұрын

How is this comment 7 minutes old if the video is 1 minute old?

@genghisgalahad8465

2 жыл бұрын

Scrolling Instagram clip: (points in DiCaprio gif: that’s why right there!) also the social environmental context in which one meets new people is what provokes anxiety I believe. Will dive in...

@Thomasfrank

2 жыл бұрын

@@athullnexus5450 made it when the video was unlisted

@athullnexus5450

2 жыл бұрын

@@Thomasfrank thanks for explaining

@iamsh4r106

2 жыл бұрын

@@Thomasfrank nah it's time travel

Friendships nowadays feel quite forced it would be nice if someone was genuinely interested in hanging out I'm sure many people can relate

@ClumpypooCP

2 жыл бұрын

yup. Totally know what you mean. Its hard to find genuine friendships man.

@spoons7092

2 жыл бұрын

i totally feel that, it should be an equal amount of making plans from both parties.

@kirali6185

2 жыл бұрын

@@spoons7092 exactly, if you’re really the proactive person in every relationship and they never reciprocate it feels like you’re bothering them, you’re needy, or they just have better things to do/people to hang out with.

@MegamiTenchi

2 жыл бұрын

@@kirali6185 So this. I had a mental breakdown in July, people had hurt me, took responsibility, and then did nothing about it, or others just steam rolled me/my boundaries and didn't even care. I'm disappointed and trying to get past the hurt, but I don't know how much longer I'm willing to "chase" someone who helped blow a hole in me, said "sorry, my bad" but done zero to repair the relationship. So. Tired. Sad to have asked for help/support from people and then learn how many people actually care at all past the like button. So many hard lessons this summer.

@hareemixx

2 жыл бұрын

Sad reality when you realize your friends no longer show mutual interest

One cause of loneliness not talked about in this video, is that you are friends with people who don't properly understand you. People who you can sort of have fun with, but you don't really connect on a deep an emotional level. Highlighting the importance, of being yourself, putting yourself out there, even if it's just online, to find the tribe of people who like you for you, and who you genuienly connect with. Life is too short to worry what other people think 💙

@mysteriousme3006

2 жыл бұрын

This is true, yet most people wouldn't understand because they're not looking for a deep connection. They're looking for what they are and do. Which is not hard to find. On a more positive note, deep connections exist, just not so popular.

@MM-ei7xv

2 жыл бұрын

Agreed!

@szatanica1

2 жыл бұрын

This is another issue - it’s a pandemic of not carrying.

@lkun9051

2 жыл бұрын

Literally how tho? I have struggled with this almost my entire life by now

@pratimapradhan2348

Жыл бұрын

Then you need to keep trying to come across people and you might come across people who do understand you and whom you can closely connect to. The point is, if you would never try, you would never know. So never stop trying, that's it.

Bro the loneliness of suburbia is such a real thing. This is great advice!

@Thomasfrank

2 жыл бұрын

Dude I can't wait to move closer to the city where it's more walkable again (these Denver price though)

@CMols

2 жыл бұрын

@@Thomasfrank same here....Denver housing is absolutely absurd right now. Best of luck!

@lauralove1119

2 жыл бұрын

It’s so true I thought it was just me hating where I live but I really like being away from the chaos of the city. It’s just so hard to make myself get ready and do anything but school or work.

@Thomasfrank

2 жыл бұрын

@@lauralove1119 are you US-based? I’d never live downtown, but I’d love to live in one of those rare first-ring burbs that are more walkable and within biking distance of the city

@slimii275

2 жыл бұрын

haha, you and thomas put out kinda similar vids today!

Adult friendships are hard but sometimes you have to make the first move to put yourself out there:)

@monochromesoul5873

2 жыл бұрын

So many people will rehect you tho its annoying and heart wrenching, everyone is so busy and tired, etc.

@erikas.6790

2 жыл бұрын

@@monochromesoul5873 yeah, at one point they'll not feel the need of creating a good excuse for leaving you down anymore, it will be just a "nah" and you have to deal with it

@monochromesoul5873

2 жыл бұрын

@@erikas.6790 yeah 😔

@IsaacJoshi

2 жыл бұрын

But the important thing to try and remember is most of the rejections have nothing to do with you. And the people that won't reject you make it worth it. I know it can be discouraging but you can do it :)

@omarfarhat567

2 жыл бұрын

@@IsaacJoshi I think that if you want to be successful you shouldn't have friends but later maybe yes after achieving your goals

There's a massive gap in this video. You talk about how everyone feels lonely these days because they aren't involved in communities then go on to explain how spending time with people you currently have relationships with counter act the negative consequence of that happening. Even if that does work, the glaring flaw in that advice is you need to have those relationships to begin with and not everyone does. What I'm saying is, I was really hoping for advice on where to go to find new communities to be apart of to fill the void that school left or just good places to meet new people to build relationships with.

@Thomasfrank

2 жыл бұрын

Check the pinned comment - I added some links to other videos I’ve done that answer these questions! The main issue I wanted to tackle in this video is the very common problem where people drift away from friends after college or high school. I turned 30 recently so I’ve been thinking about that a lot.

@littlejimmy2825

2 жыл бұрын

See of there are any local groups you can meet with that share a common interest as you, something like a book club for example. A library is a good place to start, my local library has all types of clubs, robotics, anime, gaming. Just get out there.

@belenlg5978

2 жыл бұрын

I put this in another comment, but having moved several times, I met a lot of people and had a lot of fun doing these: art lessons, dancing lessons like salsa, hiking or climbing groups, yoga classes and retreats, a skateboard group for adults, and traveling solo, staying in hostels with common spaces and organized activities

@johannesminge

2 жыл бұрын

You can find a local church 💁🏻‍♂️

@zyaicob

2 жыл бұрын

Play a sport (rugby). It's that simple

I agree with what you're saying here, however, I recently stopped being the person to reach out to one of my friends from school as I would be the only one to speak. There was zero effort on their part and I grew tired of it after years of doing it. I felt the relationship must have run its course and cut my losses. I think there are times where you need to stop being the person who reaches out all the time and accept that you're fighting to keep a relationship that is already dead.

@077di6

2 жыл бұрын

That is why the tip is useless for most people, it is not the act and not what you think you are doing, it's not a problem to solve, but the way your mind works- in other words what are your thoughts about relationships and about your so called "friends"

@79464f

Жыл бұрын

I am kind of stuck in this situation right now. I am out of school and I really really miss my old friends. I tried to Set up a Meeting last summer but there want much coming Back from their part. They Said they could meet Up but in the end didnt have or didnt make any time and I really feel hurt. Some people will never understand what you meant to them I guess. Well I don't know If I should reach out them again or Not...

@TheYazmanian

9 ай бұрын

It gets really old when you're the only one reaching out first the only 1 making plans and then eventually the people who would show up they stop showing up and then you have to find a new group of people it's exhausting and I'm So Sick of it Whatever happened to loyalty

This summer I realized I had to be the proactive one. I was tired of everyone saying "yeah we should do something" but nothing ever happening. My tactic was to make a list of things I wanted to do with friends, reaching out to all of them, and selecting a day we could all commit to. It would be weeks or even a month in advance, but it worked! I hung out with family, high school friends, and college buddies :) but being the proactive one can be tiring

@YumiesoYummy

Жыл бұрын

its until your the only one reaching out to them and it becomes a one side friendship

@user-in1fv6nv3e

Жыл бұрын

I know, it's tiring as hell 😅 but we'll :)

@ggmu5732

10 ай бұрын

You guys have friends?

Friendship today seems like a forced social get together where everyone is trying not to offend each other. Everyone is dressed nice and polite. What happened to friends popping up with a beer and just flopping down on your couch eating the last of your chips and your ok with it. The best friendship is more like a brotherhood/sisterhood of people that accepts each other's imperfections as genuine and unique. They drink too much or talk too loud or is always late, those are the things that give friends value. Their uniqueness.

If only it were that simple... In reality, if I were to say "we're doing top golf Friday at 8pm, want to join?" and sent that message to, say, four people, then one would say yes, two would say "I can't do Friday, but I can do Saturday," and one wouldn't respond at all. And then I'd be stuck with deciding whether I want to do an awkward one-on-one activity with a person I didn't really want to hang out with one-on-one, trying to change the activity to Saturday, or giving up entirely. And that's just a simplified version of what's likely to be much more complicated logistics.

@belenlg5978

2 жыл бұрын

one of my best friends is great at having a huge network of friends and acquantainces, and she tells me that she always gives anyone she meets a one-to-one chance, even if they just met randomly, she will go for a beer or a coffee. she has met a lot of cool people giving chances and has a lot of fun stories of weirdos too

@QuesoCookies

2 жыл бұрын

It kind of defeats the purpose of giving someone a yes/no answer if there are conditions on their answer. Probably don't invite anyone you wouldn't want to be alone with if there's the possibility that only they will say yes, and probably don't invite anyone if you don't plan on going even if no one says yes, because people might change their minds and then feel disappointed or guilty that you'd cancelled because they didn't say yes. The key is to cut off all attached strings before even extending the invite. Decide when works best for you, take whoever can go then, and then create the FOMO for anyone who missed, who now know that you're not a flake when you make plans and what times you're available. They'll rearrange for next time with more confidence in you.

@nourhammahmoud2818

2 жыл бұрын

Hey i want to improve my speaking at english and want to learn from a native american speaker by voice chatting on messenger, can any body help please!?!

@Goldenmaskduets

Жыл бұрын

You gotta expand your friend circle, and go after talking to people. It’s that simple! A good friend of mine he came up to me, and now we are best friends. They reached out to go to friendgiving. And it was all because I made it a point to interact with more people! 😊 You have to put effort into anything in life to reap the rewards. People who are naturally social are putting the effort in. You just gotta talk to new people, if someone doesn’t want to hang out, someone else will, and you gotta put yourself out there so more people know you exist and only go after the ones who are down for your existence.

@Katrina13J

Жыл бұрын

@@Goldenmaskduets Oh, simple! Making an effort, I should have thought of that. 😆

I'm lonely because I don't have friends, not because I don't speak to them. But I appreciate your advice it is genuinely actionable and useful in future.

He's talking about loneliness when you aren't in college or high school, but I've felt lonely for most of my high school life and I'm off to post secondary in a week. I just don't feel like I blend in with people due to me not drinking and doing drugs. I just feel different because I never tried to blend in with other people. I tried to be the person that my asian family wanted me to be. Now I'm trying to figure out who I am, but its so uncomfortable for me. Edit: Thank you for all of the support! I really hope that I can figure out who I really want to be in University.

@guywithsocks

2 жыл бұрын

College can be a very different experience from high school. If you have the desire, try to have regular interactions through clubs, meals with dorm mates, or in study groups. Friendships can develop organically when you are regularly face to face. As you continue your college career, keep in mind this is a good time to “figure it out.” Internships and research can add a strain when you’re dealing with homework and tests, but it will help you identify if you like a particular subject or job and wish to pursue it. It also helps you create relationships with potential mentors who can help guide you. Best of luck and hang in there!!

@WatchingNinja

2 жыл бұрын

College is a lot better because you can find people who have similar interests. I also socialized with people I didn't think I would hang out with. I struggled with anxiety but I wanted to be friendly to everyone and most people in my complex knew who I was.

@rusinsr

2 жыл бұрын

You gotta meet friends at places where other like-minded people would be. I met most of my friends at activities like the programming club, bouldering gym, an advanced placement class, online forums, etc. I also try to organize events for my friends that don't involve drugs or alcohol, so that way I avoid the awkward moment when everyone else becomes boring from sedation. It's possible, just have to put the effort in!

@kaitlynrunion4192

2 жыл бұрын

I've had a lot of trouble finding friends because I don't drink as well. I think it's what a lot of people center hang outs around so I don't fit it. I hope you find a group that's right for you!

@creativityjune3591

2 жыл бұрын

While there’s a stereotype that college kids drink and party a lot there’s actually loads of different people including people who don’t drink or only drink a little. You’ll be able to find people who’s interests and personalities match yours! That’s how I found university to be. It was so much bigger than my high school that I was able to meet new people and form a new friend group

I’m very proactive and constantly reaching out to people. It’s mentally and emotionally draining to ALWAYS be the one one reaching out to people. Yeah I get ppl to go out and do things with me on a regular basis but that’s literally the only time I hear from people

See now we need a video explaining Martin's system for tracking his interactions with his friends!

@SLiCkJo

2 жыл бұрын

That’s what I was waiting to hear!

Saying "I'm going to X, hope to see you there" is actually quite a good tip, assuming you're not completely exhausted from always making the first move and getting no or "some other time" as a response. I get people are legitimately busy or something may not be their cup of tea, but once in a blue moon it's not unreasonable to want to be asked first.

@JupiterMuffles

4 ай бұрын

Yeah, like it's tiresome being the only one reaching out and making plans. As if the other person really doesn't give you a second thought and can't be bothered to reach out

I'm not lonely, over here is me, other there is myself, and right other is I.

"It's easy to stand in the crowd but it takes courage to stand alone" - Gandhi

@iamsh4r106

2 жыл бұрын

Alone ≠ Lonely

@9Nikko8

2 жыл бұрын

@@iamsh4r106 exactly, I hate it when people misuse quotes

*Most great accomplishments were achieved by the people, who at first had no idea what they were doing.* Keep going my friend. I am cheering for you. 🙂

My dad gave me this exact advice as a teenager. I think I was moping about not having any weekend plans and he told me, “If you want to go out, you are going to have to call other people and make a plan.” This is back in the time of landline phones when you had to call people and there was no simple texting. It was some of the best advice I have ever received. It made me take more responsibility for my socializing instead of depending on others.

Loneliness is such a serious thing and I hope everyone here conquers it! Thanks for the awesome video Thomas! Another banger in the books! :)

I can relate heavy with being lonely. But how does one even form such relationships? Most people might be lonely, but I honestly can't agree that people are wanting to make connections and spend time together. Worst still, when people already have their little communities, they have absolutely no interest in getting to know anyone new. People just aren't that interested in forming relationships with people to do things with. That's what my personal life experiences have taught me anyway. I'm always alone. It's my default state of being. I've never known real friendships. People don't want to get to know new people. That's the real issue. I can't even believe anymore that real friends even exist. More like something from a fairy-tale or movie. But real actual friendship? I can't believe that people are even capable of that anymore.

@amandam480

Жыл бұрын

I agree with some of what you've said. I do feel that past 30 most people feel they have all the friends they need. Also even today people prioritise getting married and coupling up, so focus on this. I think after uni most make aquatainces and casual friends. But mainly temporary friends. It gets harder as we get older. All we can keep doing is reach out and hope someone responds

@patricia071

6 ай бұрын

Finally a comment to relate to. I personally tried to go over the discomfort and maybe I didn't try everything or the best bit the town I'm with has no chance of oferring the possibility of making new connections. Everyone already has main friends who can connect them to others or they are in communities that kind of flourish but no one talks about those hermits that still try and are often given a good conversation but no other further contact. I might me doing this out of impulse but if I learned something until jow, tey everything you can that can show you what you want. Im going nuts not having any drop of randomness by calling someone at 8 pm and them agreeing to go out because they think 8 pm is early (just for context Im 25 and they are younger) And makes you wonder if you are the problem hut honestly ? I think the place can influence a lot as well. If you have the chance, move cities.

During the pandemic, I discovered that I actually disliked most of the human interactions I apparently had to go by every day until then. I'm not in any sense a shy person. Turns out the pandemic was a blessing in disguise to me - I found happiness in solitude I never considered possible before.

It takes a lot of energy to reach out to people constantly, especially when the friends you know don't like to do the things you like to do. I love to go hiking and be outside none of them do, so I would tell myself well, maybe I should make new friends who like to hike and be outside. That is a whole other ball game...

Thomas, thank you as always for the sincerity of your advice. Your channel is an absolute inspiration to me. Much love from Brazil!

@brayansobral8313

2 жыл бұрын

os melhores crossovers são os que a gente menos espera KKKKKKKKKK

@michagabo8819

2 жыл бұрын

The Book of Truth When things were at their very worst: 2 Suns, Cross in the sky, 2 comets will collide = don`t be afraid - repent, accept Lord`s Hand of Mercy. Scientists will say it was a global illusion. Beware - Jesus will never walk in flesh again. After WW3 - rise of the “ man of peace“ from the East = Antichrist - the most powerful, popular, charismatic and influential leader of all time. Many miracles will be attributed to him. He will imitate Jesus in every conceivable way. Don`t trust „pope“ Francis = the False Prophet - will seem to rise from the dead - will unite all Christian Churches and all Religions as one. One World Religion = the seat of the Antichrist. Benedict XVI is the last true pope - will be accused of a crime of which he is totally innocent. "Many events, including ecological upheavals, wars, the schism in My Church on Earth, the dictatorships in each of your nations - bound as one, at its very core - will all take place at the same time." "Arab uprising will spark global unrest - Italy will trigger fall out"

@rakvian

2 жыл бұрын

Caraca não esperava você aqui

@thestormrage888

2 жыл бұрын

ludão da massa

@matheusmacieldesales5337

2 жыл бұрын

Teus vídeos são muitos bons Ludo!

What if there was a group like AA for lonely people? Me: Hi, I’m Felicia and I’m lonely. Lonely Anon Group: Hi Felicia!

@ameyaachivukula

2 жыл бұрын

Yessss…I thought of something like this too. But i guess lonlines is not a big enough problem for that to happen 😭

@DKMiti

2 жыл бұрын

Hi Felicia, I am also lonely. welcome

@mysteriousme3006

2 жыл бұрын

😂😂😂😭😭💀💀

@jayesha18

2 жыл бұрын

The gang's all here, it's called the internet lol

@mysteriousme3006

2 жыл бұрын

Honestly, I am apart of this group. I tried making plans with a few humans and no one wants to hang out with me. I just let them know that I don't drink or do drugs and everyone runs from me, sadly 😪.

I remember a video you did a while ago mentioning all this, and as a shy introvert, it blew my mind and i'm thinking about it everytime I want to catch up with a friend (like, I don't expect them to text first or to offer to hang out, I do it). I believe this advice impacted my social life in a very positive way, because I'm more inclined to make efforts for people I reallly care about now. Thank you Thomas !!

Imagine sharing this to someone 💀

@swift_sa

2 жыл бұрын

🤣🤣

@Thomasfrank

2 жыл бұрын

I dare you 😛

I needed this! I’ve always been the proactive friend since we all graduated, but I’ve been doing the mistakes you described since the begginning. I know for a fact this is going to help!

Loved that idea about keeping track of when we last spoke to the people we care about... we so often take them for granted and realize only too late how much we have missed.... have to start taking personal connections as seriously as we do our work 👌🏼

I've been watching your videos for 4 years now and I must say your videos did me wonders with note taking, time management, using technology effectively and for personal needs, and also gives perspective on how to view life This video i can relate that time is short and we as people and someone that were close to needs to cherish every moment here on earth, once time is gone you can't get it back. You my dear sir just earned a subscriber.

I appreciate this video, its great to spread awareness so others know a lot of people are feeling this way. Thank you for making this video. 🙂

I've been thinking about this a lot! I'm trying to message first, arrange impromptu meet-ups, or video chats at the very least! Since leaving uni, all my friends have dispersed, esp as most are doctors working crazy shifts/rotas all across the country. Will definitely consider keeping track of the last time I've contacted people I care about!! 😊

Hey @Thomas! My main hobby has been collecting coins at coin shops. I've met all sorts of people and the hobby in itself is amazing. Also celebrating one year sober; I used to be a terrible alcoholic and cigarette connoisseur, lol. Anyway, thanks for the video!

@Thomasfrank

2 жыл бұрын

That's great to hear on both counts! Getting into hobbies like that is great way to meet people - I can say the same for playing Magic the Gathering and rock climbing :)

Great video! As a recent college graduate, I can definitely relate to this. Reminds me of a quote from Matthew Kelly, "Our lives change when our habits change."

I lost interest in everything that use to make me happy earlier because of a lost struggle with anxiety your video resulted in gaining some positivity. Thanks a lot messiah.

I can understand being the proactive one, but for me I don't have any friends that have been life long. And for me, I just don't see the point of being proactive and put effort into hanging out anymore. I use to not put any effort into being proactive. That didn't go well so I changed my attitude, I figured I'd be proactive first... if they don't reciprocate next then I just let it go. That didn't work much either. Still don't have any real friendships. So now I've learned to be happy on my own and keep myself company. Would it be nice to have friends, sure. But no matter where I go, I just never feel like I belong anywhere. At the end of the day I've only got myself... for those that have some strong friendships, don't take them for granted.

@whenyousmileismiletoo5419

2 жыл бұрын

how did you learn to love yourself?

@Persuasion94

2 жыл бұрын

@@whenyousmileismiletoo5419 Never said I loved myself. But I have to tolerate myself lol. But in all seriousness, if I don't love something about myself I just change it. Staying in shape, being healthy usually makes all the other pieces fall into place.

Thank you so much. Being a College student, I'm starting to feel my friendships slip away! Thank you for providing me with a way to save them.

The timing... just unbelievable... I really needed this thank u

You covered each point so well. I don't think so you missed out on ANYTHING of significance. Loved it.

Thank you for this video, Thomas. It's an important message. And good choice of camera setup, that really hammered it home.

Good advice but i don't actually have any friends to use it on. Still working on that bit.

Super helpful video and the experience of having a ton of friends in college who you don't see any more describes me exactly.

The video I needed yet didn't know it. Thanks, Thomas!

Thank you for this video! Great tips, and keeping a system to track the last time I've interacted with someone sounds like a great way to stay on top of things. The loss of a sense of community is something that's been on my mind and that I'd be more interested to explore.

This is a great video, the tip about pre-making a specific plan and stating it as happening with or without them was super smart.

I got invited to a Christmas dinner this year and almost like it was an instinct I immediately started making excuses not to go. That anxiety is a mfk'r. Shout out to all the people by themselves for Christmas/ New year 😔

@TopGun_-

Жыл бұрын

We’re all here with you in spirit brother!

@MrCageCat

Жыл бұрын

Then don't go and stay lonely forever. No one is forcing you to.

Loved this, Much needed!! Please make more such videos Thomas, Love you!

Thank you for this video! I always ask people who say "If I do not call, nobody calls me" whether their friends REPLY to them. If yes, just initiate the hangout when YOU need them!

That was an interesting piece of information, thank you, Thomas! I even think that keeping track of who you talk to is a good idea, even for some might seem weird. I might add that as we grow up we tend to have different perspectives of the world and often times we mistake one's behaviour for rejection when in fact it's something else. Best advice ever: take the initiative. Clear and simple.

This is eye-opening!! Now I see this concept with a different, more positive lens. Thank you!!

Thank you for this It was much needed I appreciate your videos so much Always simple short and effective

Awesome video, gets hard sometimes but genuine advice like this really does help :)

HOW. THIS IS.. LIKE EXACTLY WHAT I NEEDED TODAY. GOOD LORD. Thank you Father Thomas

I love the robotic system idea. I was thinking of doing the same, since I've noticed everyone drifting apart. Working on my procrastination too, since I didn't see anyone this semester---I thought procrastinating on work would just affect work, but it really affected everything, since you feel like you don't have time to do anything. Great advice, thanks

Great video!! Really great reminder to reach out. Thanks Thomas.

Thanks Thomas, that's such an important topic. One of the great epidemics of the 21st century is definitely this one, loneliness. Just to add to your points, having young kids makes it even more difficult. True they make you meet more often other people but free time drops by 90%. Does anyone else feel like this?

Wow I didn’t know that I needed to hear this, thanks 🙏🏼

Exactly the thing I need rn. Thanks, Thomas

The fact that lot's of people are lonely is actually a hopeful thing. It means that there is a multitude of people out there who potentially could need each other and come together. It also breaks the illusion that everyone else has it good and that one is the only person who is lonely. It would be pretty terrible for the lonely people if the vast majority wasn't lonely. It would make it much harder to find someone.

I was really looking forward to you explaining some of the social interaction tracking system you mentioned.

@Thomasfrank

2 жыл бұрын

Martin and I wondered if people would want to see details on that. I’m seeing a few comments so we’ll do a video on it 🙂

@mistorya600

2 жыл бұрын

@@Thomasfrank Yayy! That'd be awesome! Cause I was really thinking about it and trying to figure it out and it seems tricky to make one that's clear and effective. I'll keep an eye out to that video/post then! Thank you, Tom!

@jayda2364

2 жыл бұрын

Yes please! What a brilliant idea. I'd love to hear more about it.

Thanks! Did know I needed this, wasn't making time for, now i will

I don't expect to be attacked this early in the morning (it's 7am in my country)

@Thomasfrank

2 жыл бұрын

Ron Swanson would say to always be ready for an attack

@justinwhite2725

2 жыл бұрын

@@Thomasfrank Ron Swanson is a pretty wise man.

Really important topic Thomas. Excellent advice.

I'm tired of being the proactive person. It gets tiring. I'll just learn to enjoy my own company

I have to say whenever I listen to your videos my whole body just relaxes! I'm from the midwest but moved to the east coast a few years ago and whenever I hear a midwest voice... I don't know why but my body just has a huge sigh of relief! Midwest "doesn't have an accent" but it kind of does and it's so comforting to hear.

Great video, I’m already doing a lot of these things but I still picked up some new tips like making concrete plans and I appreciate the validation ❤️

Thanks for the great video Tom!

Just the video I need right now. Thanks!

Thanks for the video Thomas!

Great video. Thanks for making video on such a important topic. Helped a lot. Keep it up👍👍👍

Great vid man, and good timing. Thanks!

I had a group of friends with two of them being my closest friends and we really cared about each other. After the pandemic my life turned downhill, fell into depression and lonliness, really wanted to be around my friend group because I really missed the happiness, comfort, love, support and strength I felt around them. To my dismay, everything turned even worse because I didn't realised we had already drifted apart and when school reopened we didn't really talked with each other cuz it was awkward. Now, it's like all them got together some, but excluded me. I couldn't get along with them. It's just feels so lonely when I pass through them now and they act like I don't even exist, that it physically hurts. Over these few days I have seen them talking and laughing with each other and it hit me like a rock when i realised how happy they are without me. I feel worthless and low. I have an exam tomorrow and I do not even feel like getting out of my bed anymore:)

@katec9893

11 ай бұрын

I'm sorry this has happened to you. If they're treating you like that they don't sound v kind. I think what I'd do in your situation is try to engage with them one last time to make sure it's not some misunderstanding. Then if they make it clear you're no longer friends start trying out new groups and hobbies to meet new people.

That's really interesting! I'd love to see a few different systems for tracking interactions with people because that's one thing that sounds difficult!

One of the most important videos for our day. Thank you.

Absolutely loved this video, thank you man 🙏🙏🙌❤

nice video! I was sorta skeptical when I first clicked, but that tip about asking people to attend events that are happening with or without them is a really good idea. thank you!

And people have family and kids, don't forget about that. So you can maybe hang out sometimes, I have friends who always make some effort but at the end they're in the process of building their lives with their significant other. Living without any physical touch impacts the health. We are social beings. We hug, we touch, we laugh, we play games and we also spend time by ourselves. We need balance.

Been a big fan of your channel since forever, really happy to see you in the mils of subs now :)

This is entirely a callout, and I appreciate it so much

Really needed this, thanks!

This is a good video for people who have relationships and connections already

Great tips as always!

My parents moved our family around so often that forming relationships is like a sticker that's lost it's stick now. I remember having friends in highschool and college, but now that I am in a job I actually don't have any friends at all, and it's been like that for 3 years or so. I've spent most of the time learning to better myself in books and technology, but I am basically a lonely astronaut. lol

@theoneinthewhitecoat

2 жыл бұрын

Could we be friends I feel you !

@Quantum_Nebula

2 жыл бұрын

@@theoneinthewhitecoat absolutely! That would be awesome! I think we should start a discord channel, or way to communicate. Because everyone in the comments here all has the same issue, and we can solve it just by coming together.

@joelokoye23

2 жыл бұрын

@@Quantum_Nebula I know I'm late on this lol I'd love to join the discord if you guys are actually doing it

This was way more accurate than I expected, great video

Glad to see someone else is keeping track of their interactions. I was thinking of setting reminders so I can message certain people to keep connections alive but I thought that would be pretty creepy lol. But if Martin does it then I should do it too lol

Great video and great advice! I would love to see you and Matthew Kelly have a conversation about this… or anything actually!

"Be the planner" Yeah right, because I can totally make plans for myself let alone anyone else 😐

OMG! Such solid advice. I am always the one planning but my takeaway is not asking if they are available...that this is what I'm doing if you want to join. WELL DONE!

Thank you! This is great advice!

Time after time I click on his videos thinking I'd get some hope for my messed up life where all I have left is anxiety, 2 sisters, mother and a therapist and time after time I see how well together he has everything, giving advice only well-together people have the means for. Would I love to "only hang out with my significant other or maybe only a few friends"? Yes. If I had them. Would I love to send texts to people telling "we" are going golfing? Yes, if I had a "we". I appreciate what you try to do, but... apparently these only work for people who have smaller problems

@yoya4766

7 ай бұрын

Trust me he has far bigger problems than you. You're honest with yourself and that's the biggest problem solved.

@sarcasm-83

7 ай бұрын

@@yoya4766 ... Oh... well.. I.. don't know whether to be happy for me or sad for him then :S

The problem of finding ourself on our own all of a sudden after college is something that you unraveled very well on this video.

Your improvement essentially is Speak. Sometimes You might think in a wrong way that Lectures can help you to get vocabulary. But It's important to speak and create feedback with somebody else and not just by yourself.

Awesome video as always!!

Especially when u join the military out of highschool. I went to school with 105 people I grew up with for over 10 years and now I’m in the military…every day after work…dying inside…completely alone

@yeet9703

Жыл бұрын

dw man but I think it's best if you bother people on discord sounds yucky but got a friend group that way

I needed this video long time ago thanks Thomas 👏

Thank you for this video. The new undergraduate (2020) missed out because COVID-19 forced online learning that prevented making new friends on college campuses. I hope this video will encourage each person and prevent the isolation/depression issues that are looming on University campuses.

Thoroughly appreciate this video

Very nice tips actually. Thanks

I sort of had to stay one more year at college & most of my so called friends or at least people from my generation have graduated or are struggling with the pandemic a lot & are choosing to stay very distant so thank you I was needing this.

Hi! Excellent video as always, can Martin or you share the system to keep track of our friends interaction?? Is this a topic tackled in the podcast? Thanks a lot!