Update: Martin and I just released a podcast episode that digs into perfectionism even further: kzread.info/dash/bejne/iH6l2aZ-iMmafLw.html --- 🥳 Happy new year, y'all! What's one change you're going to make this year? . 🦙 Start using Notion for free: bit.ly/notionthomas . 🎥 If you enjoyed this video, check out the one I made on deliberate practice: kzread.info/dash/bejne/eJZ4mtBtesKzpbA.html . 🖊 Quote of the week: “Anyone who is not a geek for something is boring, so keep that in mind and find something worth geeking out about.” - Colin Wright

@deniseazimi

3 жыл бұрын

Thank you for your great content 😁👍

@My.Lifes.Journey

3 жыл бұрын

One change I have to make is lighting on my channel. Sure, when I vlog in my car, there's not much I can do, but certainly my indoor lighting needs work.

@duyguozkann

3 жыл бұрын

I stressed the whole day about 1 paper instead of writing it, I needed this video 12hours earlier but thank youuuu

@Deivid-bn6yw

3 жыл бұрын

Dude notion is brilliant, I watched a video where you mentioned it before and I’ve been using it since and it just lets me write my thoughts, ideas and tasks down easy. Love it

@findingdory3040

3 жыл бұрын

I believe perfection is only for self satisfaction. what you should have said is how to not envolve social and business life with this self satisfaction.

My perfectionism makes me seem 'lazy' and 'slow' when in fact, I was just checking and rechecking way too many times.

@rajshreepardeshi_

3 жыл бұрын

IKR, I can really relate to this lovely!!❤️🥺

@yollahaifah

3 жыл бұрын

Finally someone whom I can pretty much relate 😭

@spamspasm8183

3 жыл бұрын

That makes you just slow then. ; )

@confidential5743

3 жыл бұрын

So you are slow

@Silencio125

2 жыл бұрын

Not saying this applies to you, I used to think this was why I was slow about doing things, but then I realized people telling me I was slow my entire life were right and I really am just slow sometimes. Slow like a turtle. I love turtles, though. I just don't like being called slow, even if it's by being compared to something I love. It more just poisons the thing I love for me.

This video is literally for me... I don’t start reading because I can’t figure out how to _best_ retain the information. And I don’t start bullet journaling because I can’t figure out _the perfect_ format. Same goes for a lot of things, it’s depressing when perfectionism goes as far as paralysing you.

@user-hq6wy7mf3s

3 жыл бұрын

Same!!!!!

@letsdomath1750

3 жыл бұрын

Allow yourself the opportunity to experiment and to learn by trial and error. Practice and repetition along with careful adjustments made during each successive iteration will be more beneficial and enjoyable overall.

@mauve9266

3 жыл бұрын

Oh my gosh this is literally me. ‘I would do my hw but I haven’t figured out the most efficient from of revision yet’ or ‘I would learn that instrument but haven’t figured out how to go about it well’ honestly 🤦🏾‍♀️

@pulse2781

3 жыл бұрын

I recommend doing your journal in Notion. Create a template for how you want your bullet journal pages to look like and change the template when you want to change the format so that it doesn't disturb your previous entries. You would have to get Notion of a similar tool and you would have to accept that your older entries will be outdated in style compared to later entries. But bad entries are better than no entries and once you figure out the format for you, your template will stop changing so much.

@6023barath

3 жыл бұрын

I had that same issue with bullet journals! Even thought I had known about it for quite a while, I started out pretty late. Better late than never right?! And even for starting I chose a random empty notebook, didn't care about spelling or grammar or my handwriting...it was tough at first correcting myself and overthinking what I wrote. It gets better with time and exposure like Tom said!

I was about to ask if I’m the only one who is an unproductive perfectionist but then you said failure avoidance perfectionist and now it all makes sense😂😢

@dinfluence30

3 жыл бұрын

I have the same problem with producing songs/music

Read somewhere about a study that had two groups of people taking a pottery class. One group was told they'd be graded solely on the quality of their best pot, the other was told they'd be graded only on quantity so they should make as many pots as possible, no matter how bad they were. By the time the quality group was done finessing and sweating over their One Perfect Pot, and the quantity group was done happily churning out piles and piles of work without worrying about whether it was good... the quantity group was making better pots.

@kiyotaka269

3 жыл бұрын

Exactly, perfect is the enemy of good(voltaire)

@ApequH

3 жыл бұрын

Yes! I was planning on posting this! (Except I didn't read I I saw it in a vlogbrothers video)

@emmareyes8114

2 жыл бұрын

Interesting finding! Means I should experiment to know what actually is need to do to create good quality rather than just imagining it with little or no practice!

@Jktu000000

Жыл бұрын

But what if amount of clay would be limited?

@stefanniecundiff1554

10 ай бұрын

Interesting!

Graduated in 21 and now i am 25 years old still didn't have any job. Only because i want to be perfect in my skills meanwhile all of my friends earn a pretty decent salary.

Loved the way the text at 09:16 read as "be imporfect on purpose"

@Karen_Koch

3 жыл бұрын

Noticed that too 😉

@ivanmayet7879

3 жыл бұрын

My perfectionism noticed that too hahaha :D

@caroll.b.

3 жыл бұрын

The fact that I spent a lot of time wondering if that was actually on purpose or just an irony that he didn't see it ahskdhk need to stop the overthinking asap

@daivboveri

3 жыл бұрын

I don’t get it. What’s the joke? He keeps mispronouncing imporfect, though, as if it was spelled “imperfect” 😜

@toad5364

3 жыл бұрын

Whoa I didn't even notice

I really appreciate the fact that Thomas is not afraid of showing his weakness. He's always realistic. Can't thank him enough for his work.

Plot twist: Tom made this video just to reveal the chess scene

@DiamantisHell

3 жыл бұрын

Lol

@shahnaz18

3 жыл бұрын

😂Lol

@ryanolsen294

3 жыл бұрын

Lol

@lizzylewfood4198

3 жыл бұрын

lmao

@kinga3731

3 жыл бұрын

As he should!

That chess story was inspiring actually

Exactly explains my dilemma. My perfectionism stresses me out. I need to learn when to stop.

I have social anxiety and I always correlated my high achieving standards to it because I always did above and beyond as to not embarrass myself. I kind of fit into the failure avoiding category. I spend unnecessary amounts of time over thinking, deleting, retyping, redoing EVERYTHING. I don’t have any hobbies because one small setback blocks any further progress. I will literally spiral into negativity. You would literally find it impossible to find anything from my adolescences because I’ve thrown everything as a “I can’t let people know I’m bad at this” this includes writings, drawings, any hint that I tried something and failed. I also don’t think this way about anyone else, only about myself. I always believe I am the weakest link. Yes I have been suggested therapy lmao it’s just the social aspect of talking to someone that terrifies me. I am my own worst enemy.

@savanamilne2673

3 жыл бұрын

Let go and go with the flow girl🦋 ~ Life’s better when you don’t care what others think about you!!

@SounakXD

3 жыл бұрын

That's relatable. 😞

@letsgoBrandon204

3 жыл бұрын

I feel the same way. I had always thought my problem was talking to people or just being around people better than me (most of them). I am in therapy for social anxiety disorder and like he said in the video for perfectionism it consists of exposure therapy. Deliberately putting yourself in situations that trigger you and staying there for a while and NOT avoiding it. It's the avoidance that keeps it going. I'm starting with just walking past people while practicing forcing my attention outwards. Avoidance behaviours need to be identified and dropped. Mine are speaking quietly, looking away, fidgeting, being self conscious, folding arms, and of course physically walking somewhere else. It was recommended to put together a hierarchy of things that make you anxious and start at the bottom. Even if it's just thinking about something that triggers you, do that to start with.

@rubenminasyan9171

2 жыл бұрын

This is literally me(((

I’m a junior in high school and I’d like to consider myself an extreme perfectionist. My excessive perfectionism has gotten in my way a plethora of times. I’d frequently find myself taking longer than other students in completing the same tasks, and I would almost always receive the same grade. Sometimes, I may even get a lower grade than- let’s say- someone who had finished their paper early and had put in less work. This translates over to tackling homework. A homework assignment that should take 30min takes me 1-2 hours, if not more. Ironically enough, I have also found myself going back and revising this very comment. I’m also very socially anxious, as are all perfectionists I’d like to believe. I believe this to be true as the only other individuals I have seen with “perfectionist syndrome” have social anxiety issues. I just want to finish my work faster and not deal with the aching pain of sitting down all day for an assignment that should’ve taken me at most 30 min 😞. I’m tired of overworking myself. I’m absolutely exhausted.

@animishaghosh1728

8 ай бұрын

Things got any better now?

9:18 anyone noticed "BE IMPORFOCT ON PURPOSE"? You truly meant it!

LEMME TELL YOU HOW MANY TIMES I RIPPED PAPER FROM MY NOTEBOOK BECAUSE I WROTE A WORD THAT DID NOT LOOK PRETTY.

@Sunflower-mq2lr

3 жыл бұрын

I RELATE

@denimili7659

3 жыл бұрын

Same!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@sandrianrachman3074

3 жыл бұрын

VALIDDDD

@ulfaapuspitasari

3 жыл бұрын

That is so exhausting and i can relate 😭

@aiyannaa862

3 жыл бұрын

Thought I was the only one- Guess I'm not crazy after all. I've ruined so many notebooks over the years due to my obsession with having perfectly neat handwriting.

Perfectionism can also show a level of greater issues other than just the need to be perfect. In my case, due to the rampant abuse in my family, the need to be perfect was a lifesaver in most cases. If you exposed one part of yourself to the family, they would pounce on it like jackals and rend it until you were brought down to their level. Sometimes being a perfectionist can work in that environment but cannot translate over to a world that is normal. Perfectionism is a root, it is a reflection.

@dsakurai

3 жыл бұрын

I agree with this. I grew up in a family that bathe me in criticism, hurtful comments and in return, I hide in my shell and try to protect myself from harm. I never learned that anyone could accept me for being myself and I attributed that to me not being perfect. For me perfection is not objective, but rather it is highly subjective. I want to be a person that everyone will like, and for me, that is perfection, being liked and accepted. If I were to be criticised, shunned and lose the love and connection that I seek, then I'll do everything in my power to go back to the safe zone where I won't be pushed away. I'll be liked, and since we know that doing nothing won't get praises NOR criticism, which means it is neutral, I end up choosing to do nothing because I'd rather not be praised than be criticised because I know how hurtful it can be to be pushed away because we are not who others might like. Perfectionism is a defence mechanism. It is meant to protect us from harm. In a way, perfectionism is the classical conditioning that Ivan Pavlov has demonstrated, and I have been conditioned to protect myself from all that harm by doing nothing.

@DrLizListens

3 жыл бұрын

Perfectionism often is a defense mechanism and trauma response. It kept you safe. Protected you from criticism because you whipped yourself harder. But now it's become a 20 ton suit of armor that prevents you from having fun & feeling comfortable

@MatthewEaton

3 жыл бұрын

@@DrLizListens Thank you for the input, but I am also not looking to have fun. I am merely pointing out that there are more hidden issues when the word perfectionism is pointed out in a causal manner without considering some of the other issues behind it.

@drXY46

3 жыл бұрын

@@dsakurai wow u describe my case in a perfect way

@ashleyking751

3 жыл бұрын

Beautifully stated

Every single scene that looks “imperfect” sends my anxiety level so high....

“Do not speak bad of yourself. For the warrior within hears your words and is lessened by them.” ✨

@isabell2853

3 жыл бұрын

Preach! Perfectionism is often the product of negative self-talk. Trust me I know.

“Be Imporfect On Purpose.” Ahh, I see what you did there.

As a perfectionist one thing I have really struggled with for the longest time is making a decision that will involve a big change in my life or finances. Often I will be paralysed with fear of making a mistake or failing that in the end I bail out and don’t go ahead with making the change. Another thing I struggle with is dealing with imperfections in things I own or stuff around the house or car. I hate scratches, chips and damaged belongings mainly because it annoys the heck out of me and also we can’t afford to buy new items if they are broken 😞. So I attempt to avoid these things getting ruined and repeatedly ask people to be careful. I have improved in being mindful of other’s feelings but internally I still get upset and frustrated. Also I get the feeling that my family still can’t understand why I get the way I do and care so much about imperfections unlike they do. University was also hard for me as I wanted to get every little detail right in my papers I wrote. I struggled with brevity because I thought more was better even to my own detriment when over word count costing me in marks. It wasn’t until I met an important lecturer in my life who wrote one key word on a paper that I had written. The word was written in big bold blue ink BREVITY! It was at that point I realised less could net a better result because of quality over quantity. There it was again my indecisiveness to make a decision to choose the best bits holding me back once again, because I thought what I had written was perfect the lecturer gave me an high distinction because he agreed it was a fantastic paper but he later told me you didn’t have to work so hard on that one and he was right because it meant another units paper suffered before I put too much effort and time into my favourite units paper. I still probably would have gotten the same mark but with less effort required. The extra time saved could have gone to the other paper :( That lecturer taught me the most important thing I needed to work on and it was time management and better decision making not just on that paper but in exams and life in general. Prioritising what important or worth the best mark or result in life. I am eternally grateful and will never forget him even though he has now passed away sadly. He made an impact on my life, because he did things different in life and wasn’t perfect nor was he always right but he showed great heart, empathy and compassion. I think he understood what it was like to be crippled by perfectionism and the fear of failure, because he had faced the same struggles in life. Even to this day my perfectionist tendencies get in the way often but I am learning how to deal with the cards I have been dealt. I want to become a writer but can’t even decide on a laptop to help me get started :( decisions and change are always in the way. Then my fear of the laptop getting damaged or malfunctioning is a worry for me. I sought psychologist help and had mindfulness and cognitive behavioural therapy which was a great help but not a cure. I just try and take life one step at a time and hope not to tread on others toes while I deal with my mental health flaws without getting too stressed, anxious or having another panic attack. Napoleon Hill said something along these lines great leaders get to where they have because of their ability to make quick decisions and to be firm about what they want and can do fast. It about having a can do attitude and then making it actually happen in reality. I just wish some day I can have an attitude like that and be able to do the thing I want to in life before my time runs out. I know I shared a lot but I hope what I wrote can help others like me to know that they are not alone in this big old world 🌎.

@biancak7116

Жыл бұрын

Thank you for sharing I can relate to this a lot:(

@stardrake691

6 ай бұрын

Thanks for sharing your experience, hope you’re doing better now.

*As a Harvard Neuroscientist, I’ve strongly experienced the bidirectional valences of perfectionism akin to what Tom has earnestly shared here, including the dark side that has delayed me launching my first KZread video despite already garnering 11,000+ subscribers via comments such as this one over the last few months.* At times, this impetus for excellence has yielded fruitful results, such as the crux of my doctoral thesis making the front cover of one of the top journals in my field or my writing of grant proposals that have helped realize $1,500,000+ in new funding for novel research programs across several labs. However, the dark side of perfectionism has also induced severe delays in my completion of other studies and manuscripts, some of which may never be disseminated since I now act as a scientific editor/consultant for multiple companies around the world. Hence, for me, perfectionism has been a formidable double-edged sword to the point that the destructive side of the blade has sometimes undermined my efforts and nearly prevented me from continuing with my higher-vision goal-directed pursuits. Fortunately, I’ve since balanced this perfectionistic tendency by learning to live the dualism of extropianistic and nihilistic agnosticism. That is, be the most engaged, but least attached. This allows one to focus on the process rather than the product. Beyond that, all of Tom’s advice here to ameliorate perfectionism is excellent, as follows: (1) lower unrealistic expectations/standards; (2) proactively zoom out to view your entire goal space and prioritize/limit perfectionism to only focus on what is most important; (3) practice exposure therapy by allowing yourself to do a “bad” job on something and still share it with the world even though it’s far from perfect; and (4) engage in quantity challenges of completing and/or sharing something small each day. I’ve been embracing all of the above for quite some time now, which has provided both solace and an improved ability to complete projects. On that note, I plan to release my first video by the end of January, even if all I have completed is something that I still scrutinize as a lower standard that my perfectionistic side would usually not accept. So sub in the interim if interested. Together, we’ll take a cerebral journey together to leverage our brains to improve our lives. Cheers. 🧠⚡

@griffinkennyboy4948

3 жыл бұрын

That's awesome man. I too suffer from perfectionism sometimes. also, subbed! Looking forward to it. just do it!

@giftsfromranknfilio8512

3 жыл бұрын

woah thank you for writing this. very inspiring.

@mdh_masalewale8681

3 жыл бұрын

@ Aaron M. Lambert, Ph.D. Hi Aaron! I've seen a number of your comments on other videos, and they are always insightful! But I'd really recommend putting your essay in paragraphs. The block of the test just looks unappealing to read but I always know from the heart that it's something helpful, so I power through it anyway. Just this one change will probably incite hundreds of readers to take their time and read through your comments. Thank you

@NeuromodulatorNetwork

3 жыл бұрын

@@mdh_masalewale8681 I appreciate your feedback, but I intentionally keep it as a block of text because I have tested that it accrues more likes than your suggestion of multiple paragraphs. My tact has yielded #1 comment on hundreds of videos, many of which have accrued 5,000 to 15,000 likes on 1 comment alone (not a mere "hundreds of readers" as you suggested). Moreover, since my wall-of-text comments have garnered 12,000+ subs on my channel before I've even posted my first video and I've even gained 1,000+ subs from 1 comment alone in less than a day, I'll stick to my current tact. If you're interested in my writing in paragraphs, you can look to my many peer-reviewed publications on Gscholar or read my 300+ page doctoral dissertation. Cheers.

@xenobiaeve2363

3 жыл бұрын

@@mdh_masalewale8681 I love how you're giving a suggestion to this guy on changing how he writes his comments when he still has the #1 comment on this very video. 😂 And the topic of the video and his comment is on reducing perfectionism. You're basically saying he needs to be better than #1. 🤣

I just destroyed my academic year due to my failure avoiding perfectionism. I wasted so much of my time on making perfect notes and reading them again and again. And couldn't practise questions. Now I am depressed as my whole year is wasted .

I feel like delaying things or completely avoiding it... Just to make sure that when i really start to do that stuff, i could start and finish that work with perfection.. But yeah sadly... I just procrastinate...lol

im a perfectionist especially to myself, & it's hard for me to accept i can't be the best in something i'm passionate about. i have high standards in everything i do and easily get upset when i didn't meet those expectations. i know it's so so toxic.

This video's topic spoke to me spiritually I carry so much anxiety with me panic attacks must be my middle name

This video pops up on my feed while I am trying to perfect my graduate school essay 😂 I’m totally a perfectionist. I believe this was God’s way of telling me to calm the hell down 😃 thanks 👍

The ways to overcome perfectionism: 1. Set realistic expectations. 2. Perfect how you allocate your efforts. (80/20 rule) 3. Be imperfect on purpose. (Example: Do 4 takes and pick the best one.)

It hits real hard. Preventing my perfectionist self from taking over is the most important challenge right now. Let's hope I do get over it someday.

Thank you for this helpful video. Perfectionism for me is all about anxiety - my university studies are suffering terribly because of it- the paralysing fear and procrastination is gradually taking over my life. I don’t do much of anything anymore and I need to break this awful cycle somehow

Feeling this SO MUCH. I'm stuck on my dissertation because I never believe anything I do is good enough. I'm paralysed by the fear of failure.

@simplymillennial8643

3 жыл бұрын

We at times tend to be too critical of our work. Try to produce output and get it reviewed by your peers to avoid getting stuck in the perfectionist trap. See if that works for you.

@BEATRIIIZOLAAA

3 жыл бұрын

@@simplymillennial8643 Thank you for your advice!

It's extra hard when you are perfectionist and lazy at the same time...

@divinea2934

3 жыл бұрын

Yesss that's me

@vicnad92

3 жыл бұрын

Story of my life

@SummeRain783

3 жыл бұрын

Lmao

@Vijayyadav-sx4dt

2 жыл бұрын

Me 😔

@CombraStudios

2 жыл бұрын

Deadly combination. But then, a combination of anything with perfectionism is in some way deadly

Perfectionism prevents us from living a happy and satisfying life and most importantly robs us of inner joy and real happiness 💔💔💔

Done is better than perfect!

@JessBess

3 жыл бұрын

i like this!

@hildcit

3 жыл бұрын

Because perfect never gets done

@chomeo6797

3 жыл бұрын

True true

@shangoshango2471

3 жыл бұрын

Thank you I needed to hear this for the deadlines to come!

I've always struggled with balancing perfectionism and productivity. The desire to create high quality work can sometimes work against you, or even worse, prevent you from finishing your work at all. I constantly remind myself that done is always better than something that is perfectly unfinished.

Ugh, thank you! I've really struggled with perfectionism and anxiety. What's been helping me is to tell myself, "Just do it badly," and then I imagine ok what's the worst way I could possible do this task. That just tricks my brain into getting started and more often than not it turns out a lot better than I had planned. This was really validating and helpful to watch so again, thank you!

@sophiac8824

3 жыл бұрын

Thank you! That's really helpful 🤝😊

I am so so so glad you shared that tid bit regarding the chess shot. I can 100% relate to that feeling of getting caught up in the details and letting something so insignificant feel way too overly important in my mind. I have been struggling with some crippling perfectionism and I have found so much VALUABLE information from your page, I seriously can’t say thank you enough!!! Not only is your content relatable, but your examples and metaphors/analogies and extremely well thought out and easy to understand. Thanks for putting in so much work and effort into these videos!! they are truly so life changing and informative and easy to apply

That "imperfect" shot from behind the microphone is amazing 🙏

Thank you so much for this video! I've been struggling with anxiety for a long time now, often striving to have the "perfect" notes, the "perfect" flashcards, or the "perfect" projects and then beating myself up for not getting the results I expected. Now, I get it. I'm not lazy, I'm a perfectionist and that's something I can work on

Thank you Thomas, I’ve learned so much from this video. I will apply the tips you taught to succeed in my upcoming second semester. My first semester was ruined by my perfectionism, but I still have 7 semesters left to increase my GPA!

I'm an artist and music producer and this is holding me back way too much, small details that I get stuck on that I just can't let go, I'm very grateful you brought it up. This is key!!!

I feel both understood and attacked by this relatable content 😅

Ohh my god! I can't explain how much I related to the video and a bit from each type of perfectionism, and you won't believe but I was trying to figure it out why is my work slower than my peers and now I know it, Thanku so much, and also your content is amazing ❤️

I love your introspection. Your ability to critique yourself and on a public forum is fantastic. Go you :)

I've been worrying about my university exam coming up and this video on Perfectionism has been very helpful. Thank you!

I've always struggled with Perfectionism and it hurts. This is one of my BIGGEST CURSES as a creative person, worrying if my work is gonna suck to other people instead of just enjoying the process and having fun. It's why I started painting and sculpting in clay non digitally, because any mistakes I make, I live with it and MOVE ON to the next piece. And learn... I will shake this. Btw, I'm a 3D artist

I need this this year...much love and thanks💜

Dang you got 2 mill subscribers now????!!! Glad to see you're still around doing great things. You got me through my Statistical Methods course 7 years ago.

Done is better than perfect. That's why I just focus on inputs I can control, like releasing two videos a week and gradually improving 1% at a time.

Did you purposely throw imperfect touches here and there to make this video perfect? What a great content! Thank you

Starting with your content here and podcast....is already amazing, please keep up...never give u, thanks for always sharing such a piece of good information, this video is amazing!

That’s my first video i see for you and it's amazing!! Really helpful

Thanks a lot man, I am still learning about my self and this really helped me.

I like to think most people live by the 80/20 rule (Pareto Principle). I know I do. Which is 80% of your results come from 20% of your activities. Perfectionism can also be called procrastination :)

This video completely solved the problem I faced recently as a content creator. Jus big thank you for the all explaining, research and effort. It is worth. As Robert Greene said, rationalization comes from the adapting ourself to feedback we take from audiences. Done is better than perfect.

I resonate with this a lot. I struggle with it professionally as well as in day today tasks where i need to perform the tasks as well as i can, irrespective of the time and effort required to complete it, even if it is completely trivial. This leads to a complete burnout, exhaustion or imbalanced allocation of effort towards less important steps of a task and either complete the remaining job shoddily or let it remain incomplete altogether. Your video helps me to start letting go of things.. Thanks!

Hey loved this video I related to it more than I realized. Never knew this was a problem until you said it in the video. So, thanks. Also, could you make a video about gamification? It is really interesting!

*I used to be a perfectionist OBSESSED with the details BUT* Then i realised that done is better than perfect 😅❤️

@lisawang5852

3 жыл бұрын

I agree :)

@drealmo

3 жыл бұрын

This! I need to learn to not obsess with the details.

This video was very insightful, thank you so much for always helping us out !

so I saw this last week and have been 'practicing imperfection' since then - already has made positive shift in my productivity and mental health. Merci boucoup!

Can’t agree more. Tried to be perfect with my studies, wasted a day on a chapter that turned out to be worth only a few hrs. Ended up getting tired of the subject and never go to it for three months

@6023barath

3 жыл бұрын

Yeah..this is so true! And then begins the train of questioning my self worth, skills and ability. Frustrating stuff

This was so true for me. I keep underperforming because of my fear of failure but I hesitated to call it perfectionism too because I wasn't actually getting anything done. This video has been helpful to me and hopefully I'll be able to make a change.

@mauve9266

3 жыл бұрын

“I hesitated to call it perfectionism too because I wasn’t actually getting anything done” ohhh now I see 😮 I always hesitated to call myself a perfectionist cos in my view nothing I did was anywhere close to good let alone perfection. But I suppose in practice, it’s the same fear of a lack of perfection that’s making me not do anything

appreciate your candor Thomas! Your vids have made a big impact on me :)

Your videos are always just what I need to hear.

"Perfect is enemy of the good." Never let your perfectionism get ahead of ya people.

needed a vid like this rn

@davide.0LG1471

3 жыл бұрын

Soooo much. Just out of my mind.

@Be1smaht

3 жыл бұрын

He knew.

@Be1smaht

3 жыл бұрын

Me Too!. Everybody thinks that they're different but they're really the same. So usually with a New Year everybody wants to change everything and get everything correct perfectly correct. But that's stress results in the not doing anything at all

@mattew2246

3 жыл бұрын

His What S App +1. 5. 4 1 4 4 9 7 0. 5 1

@davide.0LG1471

3 жыл бұрын

@@mattew2246 wait what

I loved seeing how you made this video. I'm a new content creator, and making quality videos do take a lot more work than just turning on your phone camera and recording. Thank you!

the way you use notion is out of my world. perhaps if i have more chances on projects and more workloads ill keep your template in mind. thanks for the reality slap content :)

These words almost solved most of my problems in life!! Actually, I have never known that the term "Perfectionism" is a real thing, but if I had heard about it, I would have thought that it was actually a good thing!! I have always been a perfectionist and I've always wondered why I never have time to finish my endless studying while others seem to be SO MUCH more productive than I am. I thought that when I actually put more effort in a single topic (that is usually not that important), that actually will help me to memorize it better and never forget it. That used to make me really really sad when I found out that I forgot a lot of the information I've studied. And instead of me realizing that my concept was wrong, I though I just need to speed more time studying. I thought that in order to get high grades I have to study for 14 hours EVERY SINGLE DAY!!! And to me, doing that was kind of impossible, so that made procrastinate even more and think that I'll never be an A-grade student because I'll never be able to study as much or as "Perfect" as the A-grade students do. I've wasted 12 years of my life thinking that way and getting depressed during every exam season and feeling really really bad when my grades were not good enough because as you said "I used to measure my own worth entirely in terms of productivity and accomplishment" and I've always thought that my self worth comes from the grades I get or the degree I have. Another example is that I read a few books although I love reading, but me thinking that I have to read a book in "Perfect" circumstances in order for my mind to benefit from the information I'm reading, was always dragging me down. I really can't thank you enough!!! Your words have changed A LOT of things and they have also opened my eyes to how I could find solutions to the problems I have in general.

@harshitkaushik3715

3 жыл бұрын

That procrastination mentioned by you in "Reading A Book" example is very true.

While the 80/20 rule isn't 100% correct, it has a good message. Perfection isn't possible in an ever-changing world. Aim for "good enough"

Thank you, thank you, Tom! Failure avoidance. It all makes sense now.

Thomas, I have a lot of respect for you because of the high standard and quality of your channel. You always produce an excellent video and the content is very well presented. You and I have the same problem. I have been working on this and you speaking about it has pointed out where my, "It's not good enough." is. Thank you, tip of the hat to you Sir! I do have a humble suggestion to make and something to point put that helped me. And maybe it would help others who read this. You type as ENTJ and so do I. This problem can typically be found with lower/last/demon function Fi (introverted feeling). We both have introverted feeling, Fi as our last function and is connected to our identity. It is concerned with self. Fi's dark side is this: "I'm not good enough." or "That/What I do is not good enough." Hence we push ourselves SO hard. Once identified, you can start becoming aware of the pattern you produce. Once aware of the pattern, then awareness of the thoughts that create the pattern follows. You are also then able to identify it in others. It helps strengthen your awareness of your own resolve to improve and self correct. The two people that helped me very much with this is Dave (INTJ) and Shan (ENTJ) from Objective Personality. They are in the throws of raining this personality thing down in a scientific way and view personality on a spectrum. I hope that helps even a little in the same way you have helped me. Thank you, Thomas!

I feel like I've seen this before from another creator. Interesting.

Be Imporfect on Purpose I can see you perfectly spell the word "imperfect" wrongly to communicate the message to be imperfect on purpose! That's perfection but in a good way :)

@abirahmed1292

3 жыл бұрын

9:16

@mousaabazid1613

3 жыл бұрын

6:57 Notice the 2nd quote mark

@abirahmed1292

3 жыл бұрын

@@mousaabazid1613 You have amazing eyes bro

hey Thomas we like your short videos! keep them up

Fantastic video! I really resonated with it. Great practical suggestions to be imperfect on purpose and to do quantity challenges. Also, the part where you talked about motion at the end and your entire production process kinda blew my mind.

“Imperfect chair turn.” 🤣

Where all my failure avoiding perfectionists at?

@dodopson3211

3 жыл бұрын

They're avoiding to answer because it's not going to be the perfect comment.

@DanyLassard

3 жыл бұрын

@@dodopson3211 wow that's so true 😂

@ng.6880

3 жыл бұрын

@@dodopson3211 nope 😂 I’m right here

Thank you so much for sharing this video!! This video’s really helpful and articulate!! ❤️😍

this video is nice and more helpful. the idea of "be imperfect on purpose" is really the best.

I can't believe I don't have to pay for this kind of content. I always learn something new from your videos, also the photography idea is pretty great I want to try that out.

I love the fact that you did it "BE IMPORFECT" rather than "IMPERFECT" ;-)

That was exactly what I needed. Thank you!

Genuinely though I feel 100% called out by this video and it gives genuinely awesome advice so thank you so much

Ironically, the NeXT cube wasn't a perfect cube, but it looks like a perfect cube because of an optical illusion. Perfection truly lies in Imperfection!

Honestly, since I've started studying physics at university I realized that perfection creates more problems that it solves. Doing one asignment perfectly and neglect everything else (I mean like asignments, health, sleep, hobbies, ...) or doing many fairly and be more happy while studying knowing that I am an imperfect human being.

@iqrazafar732

3 жыл бұрын

honeslty i dig deep into topics instead of just the ground knowledge in the text and i mold the sentences and try to make diff meanings of just one sentence and try to understand topics from every angle and that creates so many contradictions and confusions

This is actually one of the most useful videos on perfectionism I have seen. People tend to talk about it only from one aspect.

This was great. Nice work, Thomas.

This was everything I needed to hear at the beginning of the year. Thanks for the kick up the arse to put it out there!

I really needed to hear this! I feel like i’ve held myself back from doing things for my business or my channel because i’ve tried to focus too hard on a minute detail and drowned out the bigger picture. Thank you!

One of the best videos you have done in a long time

I have been a recovering perfectionist for decades. Kinda like being a recovering alcoholic. It takes a lot of work to defeat the addiction. Thanks Thomas.

This is exactly what I need. I've been procrastinating writing an essay just because I knew it wouldn't be perfect.

"Be imporfect on purpose" - can't help yourself, can you Frank? xd It was a really nice touch though

Thank You Thomas, This will surely help bring back balance in my life...

I appreciate your perfectionism and the app that you shared for Notes.

1:29 i'm inevitable fits too 😂

I am a perfectionist and I have severe OCD that has been the struggle of my life for the past couple of years, so this video really is the story of my life.

Very helpful Thomas! The perfect time for me to be imperfect by your perfect video! Thank you 😊

This was really helpful. Thanks, been enjoying your channel after finding it a few months ago!

I'm going to try and be more intentional about what I consume this year so I'm not subscribed to a whole bunch of channels and services for no reason. My Watch Later Playlist will probably thank me! Also going to try and implement this advice and pump out content, my biggest regret is delaying creating my creative productivity channel because I want to be perfect and only show a flawless version of myself, that has not got me anywhere. Keep up the good work Tom, you've inspired me to create more and step into the deep end. I hope all who are reading this also don't fall into the perfectionism trap and you all have a good year!

@TheBluprint

3 жыл бұрын

btw, can we just appreciate Tom's setup and editing! Beautiful stuff.