They them pronouns: How I figured it out
When I came out is nonbinary in 2010, I did not use they them pronouns and continued using she / her for about 10 years. Four years ago, I had an experience that helped me realize that I wanted to use they / them pronouns going forward. This is the completely true story of how I realized that my pronouns were they / them.
One can be non binary without using they / they pronouns, but for me this felt like the right choice!
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00:00 Introduction
00:12 What they/them pronouns means
00:26 Background on identifying as nonbinary
00:54 What were my pronouns before?
01:30 Nonbinary transition
01:46 Intro to pronoun story
02:23 PRONOUN STORY BEGINS
05:33 Why share this story?
06:16 Follow up to the activity
07:27 Where are they now?
08:01 Takeaways from this story
08:16 1st Takeaway
08:31 2nd Takeaway
08:52 Final Takeaway
10:01 How can you help?
Пікірлер: 34
Thank you so much for sharing. I wanted to let you know I saw your TEDx about The Gender Tag Project a few years back, and it was the first time I’d ever heard the term non-binary. I was in my mid 40’s and as you described what it was and your experience I began to sob uncontrollably. I finally had a label for what I’d felt my entire life. It was at that moment I figured out who I was. I can’t thank you enough for your honesty and bravery. You changed my life.
@AWylde
Ай бұрын
I am so deeply humbled and honored to receive your comment. Without exaggeration, it is stories like yours that help me stay brave. It was such a blessing to be able to give that talk, and I am so moved that it reached you and touched something in you. I'm so glad you've been courageous enough to honor that truth in yourself. This has made my night, and I am sending you so much light
@loopyfrog
29 күн бұрын
I too found myself in my 40s. This is so great to hear, makes me feel less alone being a late discovery!
If we had used 'we' pronouns to talk about ourselves in the 1st person, then there wouldn't have been so many questions about why enby folks ask others to use 'they/them' pronouns when referring to them. Thank you for this video; it delivers a very powerful message! Honestly, on this platform, I feel lonely as a non-binary creator. I've almost been convinced that nobody takes enby folks seriously anymore. I'm non-binary, but I more often go by she/her pronouns and he/him, plus they/them occasionally
@AWylde
Ай бұрын
It’s definitely hard to be nonbinary. Online and in the world. It’s not something a lot of people understand or try to understand. But I am always humbled and pleasantly surprised when folks connect with my work and let me know that it’s making a difference. Thank you for doing that same work :)
@user-eq1gk3do4x
Ай бұрын
So f**king true.
Thank you for sharing. It's so beautiful when we meet people and/or ourselves in a safe place, our true self will speak." Be patient, be present, be kind to yourself"...exactly what I am feeling in it all. Continued work is hard work but beautiful work. Thank you beautiful soul. 😊
Been with you since the earliest days. Wonderful to see you pop-up in my subscriptions Atlas!
@AWylde
Ай бұрын
Thank you for sticking around! The algorithm content machine is not my friend, but I do still like to make things here and there 🥰
a thing i quickly found in my own recovery some years ago was that it was infinitely easier to tend to and care about myself and understand my needs, when i imagined facing a second azurelore-my ideal self, whom i wanted the world for even as i failed to acknowledge the current me. befriending that "perfect" azure allowed me to step outside my habits and doubts and preconceptions as to what options were really available to me, and see the task of self-care not as a chore but an act of love. and the clarity this perspective lent me, it's the single most profound time and decision in my life. forty-one years, and i had never actually gotten to know myself as a person. i had never seen myself as someone to listen to and respect and try my best to support and affirm, and from the other side of things, the sheer relief i came to feel from finally being heard-by myself-fed into the start of a sense of euphoria that i have tried to maintain on some level ever since.
@AWylde
Ай бұрын
I’m so glad to know that this has lasting impacts throughout adulthood! It is certainly something I have continued to carry with me.
I am so glad for your content. I have an 18 yo daughter who has changed prnouns as she has developed. So i came here to learn and understand. Thank you for your content! a grateful mom!
@AWylde
Ай бұрын
Jeanne it means so much that you are invested in caring for and Loving your daughter well. Identities can be a little slippery and confusing, and especially it is hard on trans and gender non-conforming folks to confront head-on the ways that we do not fit the mold of what we have been taught is acceptable. I'm so grateful that young people today have more access to safe adults and good information, it is a major goal of my life to see trans kids grow up and thrive. It is gently healing for me to see your dedication to learn and understand for someone you Love
@jeannemarie3704
Ай бұрын
@AWylde thank you! That encourages me as a parent! I mess up -slip up but keep trying to learn. I think you are a wonderful educated kind person teacher advocate! 💗 from Minneapolis MN
@MarkoMarulic-dm5zt
Ай бұрын
@@jeannemarie3704 i am sorry, i hope your daughter will come to comon sense. And stop this nonsense. Hope you will get her on right path.
this is deep, thank you for sharing :) I have no idea what my self would be in 20 years, I certainly have no clear vision, but that sounds like an amazing experience and I'm so happy for you!
This is really powerful! Both the story itself, and how you ended by saying it’s ok to protect things about you if it’s not safe. Beautiful ❤
this made me cry (in a good way), thank you so much for making and sharing this, Atlas. when you said "dont be afraid that there isn't enough" and later "you are encouraged to change", both really got me. i love that the version of you that this exercise brought up was a protector of you, something about that really strikes me too. i think it's because i could imagine this exercise bringing up fears for people, where people might have a vision of a version of themselves in the future that's based on their fears coming true. but i work in mental health care, so that might be based on the types of reactions i often see. but it sounds like for you this opened a sort of portal where you could access this wisdom that was within you, coming from this place of deep strength, bravery, patience, perseverance, trust, that was already leading you here all this time. i always love your perspective and am grateful that you shared it. it lead me to think about the many facets of my own sense of self that i feel unsure of how to conceptualize both to myself and the world at times, and this video felt like an invitation into a space where it is safe to explore these things. thank you.
@AWylde
Ай бұрын
What a thoughtful and kind comment, thank you so much for watching and for sharing your experience with the video. I hadn’t really thought of that, that the same exercise could bring up a persons fears about their worst nightmare coming true. It makes me even more grateful for the experience I had, and for entering into that experience from a safe place. I’m so glad this landed for you, and thank you again for your comment 💛
Eight or so years ago when I was going through my initial gender crisis, your video about being nonbinary but still using she/her pronouns was very important to me. I think I was in a similar situation where I am neither man nor woman but this is what I've always been called, therefore it must be neutral because I am using it...and it's the path of least resistance. I really appreciate this followup as I've started mixing up my pronouns since then. I still don't feel like my journey is over, but I know hearing about your journey will help me on my way.
@AWylde
Ай бұрын
How cool that your gender journey has been intertwined with mine for all this time. I’m so glad that the video existed and was able to be important to you back then, and that this one resonates now 🥰
thank you for sharing your story! 😊
This is going to help so many people. You are fucking incredible.
Thank you for sharing Atlas, been following you for yearsss and I'm so glad to see you finally live your truth 💜
@AWylde
Ай бұрын
I’ve been living my truth all along 🥰 Thank you for being a part of that journey with me!!
LOVE the name Atlas. I use it as a nickname on one of my personal blogs. My pronouns are he/him and ey/em.
It's a super interestng story, thank you for sharing it! It`s a great reflexion to have actually I think.
@AWylde
Ай бұрын
Thank you River 🥰
formerly chiefdancingostriche. my new channel name is NBCWASWRONGTOCANCELQUANTUMLEAP. i am janis and i am a transgender woman.
I accept you for who you are but having attended public school they/them is plural used when talking about a group or multiple people. I don’t believe you have a mental illness so you don’t have multiple personality disorder, so it just doesn’t make sense. I’m almost 70 and I would be proud of you if you were my daughter so this is not hate or phobic, I just don’t understand when you say you want to be referred to as being multiple people. Best wishes and I hope you find yourself. I would welcome your response. With respect.
@luna03100
Ай бұрын
'They' is also a singular for somebody whose gender you do not know, for example if somebody left a bag behind I would say 'somebody has forgotten THEIR bag'.