Presave "The Universe Is a God-Shaped Hole" here: kzread.info/dash/bejne/jHxo2dSYcqepeZc.html Stream/Download Mr. Mx here: song.link/MrMx

@rohankishibe6433

12 күн бұрын

Hey, I just want to tell you hat I think was going on with Logan Paul's co-host. The thing that was happening is that he assumed that being "manly" is inherently virtuous, and that Logan would just automatically agree with him.

@handyman2101

10 күн бұрын

Non-binary..... Sure whatever you say "totally" human person and not a robot person trying to blend in society by saying they aren't binary so people won't get suspicious of them Whatever you say

@mo-s-

10 күн бұрын

Based genderabolitionist

@magicseahorse

8 күн бұрын

I see that questioning hate speech in your comments section gets those questions removed. Would you rather apologize or get torn down? Your choice. Also, you took down my comments that did nothing but share my personal experience, with no reference to anyone else, no implied negativity, nothing against the rules. Follow the rules, okay?

@fluffzimouse4988

Күн бұрын

I can explain gender to you in a fairly comprehensive manner if you would like. I know people don't quite understand it themselves which is why we get here to begin with. The only thing i will need to know is if that is (actually) what you are wanting... An answer as to why. Even if not, I would still recommend "Chesterton's fence". Don't destroy what you ultimately don't understand since what "better" thing are you going to replace it with if you don't understand why, it was there to begin with?

Imagine ruining fashion so bad that you turn someone non binary

@Katwind

9 күн бұрын

Wouldn't that outcome mean fashion is working as intended? I'm not an expert but I thought fashion was a way to express identity and sometimes also make a statement. Was I mistaken somewhere?

@FishSticker

9 күн бұрын

@@Katwind the video started off by them saying that male fashion is so cringe and oppressive unlike female fashion, then saying that they’re nonbinary

@Katwind

9 күн бұрын

@@FishSticker Ummm, yeah, both of those things are true. But they didn't say they're enby because male fashion sucks. I think you understood it as "fashion sense is uneven and restrictive for each gender, so it'd be better to get rid of gender", which doesn't make much sense. Sorry if I got it wrong, but that's what I got from your comments. But in any case, it's more of "fashion is meant to help people express themselves but gender norms get in the way, so it'd be better to get rid of gender".

@magicseahorse

8 күн бұрын

Real women and men don't complain about such things for attention.

@themooniscoming

8 күн бұрын

​@@magicseahorse it's not complaining for attention, quite the oposite. Is just "lemme do my thing alone". A man can't do his nails or have a nice long hair without bringing unwanted commentary and looks. Not that it matters at the end, but it's annoying af.

Even as a woman I always thought the suit thing was weird

@Starlight-ue8jy

11 күн бұрын

Me too! I’m an NB and why don’t any men wear the sorts of art pieces that women do?! Even at the MET Gala where the point is the fashion! It’s ridiculous!

@Faunadoodlez

10 күн бұрын

Same

@enderfire3379

10 күн бұрын

im a man but same. i swar if im ever attending something like this its gonna be in republic commando armor

@rattiesunderstars

10 күн бұрын

@@Starlight-ue8jymen’s fashion is always so dull, it’s incredibly difficult to find something I actually like that isn’t listed as gender neutral

@harasen_haras5

10 күн бұрын

"You get the perfect opportunity to put together any kind of outfit to express yourself through" Men with various different interests, personalities and lifestyles: Put on generic suits only differing in brightness and the absence or presence of a tie.

I like how your glasses and the ring light make it look like you're a cartoon character with circular white pupil eyes

@KaiAfterKai

12 күн бұрын

👁

@MadnessSpeaks

11 күн бұрын

My thoughts exactly

@gangsterman5590

10 күн бұрын

i cant unsee it how omg, its so weird

@russellharrell2747

10 күн бұрын

Pseudo pupils like a praying mantis

@CC.R0Y

10 күн бұрын

I was about to comment this exact same thing thinking nobody else noticed it lol

I wore a skirt to school on "wacky Wednesday", a special day at my school based on the doctor suess book of the same name and I got so much attention it was overwhelming. But then, on a normal day, the girls in my class can wear cargo pants, v neck t-shirts, pretty much anything, and no one bats an eye. No idea how this happened in society. Also nice video btw :3

@notBeWitchy

11 күн бұрын

I believe the standard is "masculinity", it's why tomboys aren't judged as harshly as someone who is masculine behaving effeminate. It might also just be misogyny and the objectification of women that result in less judgement in this regard. What it is in reality, idk I'm just spitting my thoughts. Gender is stupid I just want to be pretty and I love estrogen.

@Natalietransfem

11 күн бұрын

This is so real.

@Lindasaur.

11 күн бұрын

​@@notBeWitchy "Gender is stupid"... am I connected to your mind or smthn?? Ever since my agender awakening I've been like this, and now I've found someone similar. I couldn't be happier.

@notBeWitchy

11 күн бұрын

@@Lindasaur. im definitely not agender and very much a binary trans woman but yea no its still stupid lol

@septanine5936

10 күн бұрын

​@notBeWitchy I agree that masculinity is seen as the standard, but at least in the west, when women were fighting for rights and wages, they were also pushing boundaries on what was considered feminine, including clothing. as women became more established in the workforce, a place that was viewed as masculine, different uniforms and dress codes were created, some of them being more masculine than feminine. and women have continued to fight for the freedom of expression, being aided by the fact that women are seen as and allowed to be more expressive.

I both hate and love gender. I hate the expectations placed on me but I love presenting more butch or femme as an expression of how I am feeling any given day. I hate the sexism, the homophobia, and the transphobia, but I love the communities that have formed as a result of such injustices. Happy pride!

@KaiAfterKai

12 күн бұрын

As with many things, sometimes you just gotta take the good with the bad.

@Eeeeeeeeeeh-

11 күн бұрын

This is how I feel to!! I love being a sapphic and “girl”, but I don’t want anything to with gender

@edumazieri

10 күн бұрын

In a way it's like nationalism. Waving flags, bonding, loyalty, pride - but that inevitably leads to separation, us-vs-them mentality and a loss of individuality. Maybe the only grouping we need is "human", no sub-grouping allowed. Actually, we may need to go a level higher to "creature", or even higher to just "thing that exists", could help with our empathy issue.

@hopeboyherewithyourmcdonal3634

10 күн бұрын

@@edumazieri Pride is a response to queerphobia and exclusion. If we were fully accepted in society, then there would be no need for the flag waving or the LGBTQ-specific bonding. Don’t blame queer people for the us vs them mentality-that comes from somewhere else entirely, and all we can do is respond to it.

@c.n.crowther438

10 күн бұрын

madtekkerz with the words

The modern suit and its unremarkable variations has been a disaster for men's fashion.

@zat5176

9 күн бұрын

Nah I digress. It’s perfect.

@LoneWulf278

9 күн бұрын

We need to go back to Togas. 😂

@magicseahorse

8 күн бұрын

The infiltration of apostrophes into plurals has been a disaster for the English language.

@74bassman

8 күн бұрын

😂😂​@@magicseahorse

@mattjk5299

8 күн бұрын

@@magicseahorse It was AUTOCORRECT!!! SHUT UP!!!!!!

Unrelated to the entire video, but I do like it when KZreadrs have sunglasses on and the backlight reflects off of the glasses and creates "pupils" in a sort of way. Very entertaining to watch.

@ChalkMuncher

12 күн бұрын

it's terrifying, i was distracted the entire video !!

@KaiAfterKai

12 күн бұрын

👁👁

@ThatOneGuyWhoTalks2Much

12 күн бұрын

I just noticed that at the end and it looked so funny I couldn't stop looking at it

@Lovehandels

12 күн бұрын

Thanks, now I can't unsee it!!!!

@FroggyStarTime

12 күн бұрын

0v0

There's been a certain feeling within me that sometimes I feel like a perfectly cis male, but other times I feel a shadow of femininity, in an emotional, behavioral and mental sense. It's the time I want to dance around, smile, talk in a soft voice, pose differently, think differently. The label of "man" doesn't exactly fit me, despite being assigned male at birth and having male anatomy. And I've been thinking about it for a few months.

@tlynhen

12 күн бұрын

You don’t know femininity feeling. You’re lying and stereotyping women. You’re all of that as a man and that’s cool really

@EmmaHopman

12 күн бұрын

Often the labels we assume don't do their intended job of describing us. But rather, a more destructive thing, to define us, to limit us. Gender can be like a prison that we build around ourselves, it stops us from doing and thinking the things we truly want to. And worst of all, we are the ones holding onto the key.

@hopelesslyoptimistic8231

11 күн бұрын

@@EmmaHopmanI think you're overcomplicating it. I'm a cis man, but I recognize when I do things that are “woman-like,” but I know why I'm doing those actions: It was the easiest way to express myself that way. We aren't free; there is always structure around us that keeps us grounded, but that's okay, and we can learn to work around it instead trying to destroy the idea entirely

@EmmaHopman

11 күн бұрын

@@hopelesslyoptimistic8231 it's not about destroying the idea, it's about recognizing it and not letting it limit you. It sounds like you're doing that well.

@mrxman6615

11 күн бұрын

I feel the exact same. You could be a cis male or a cis male who’s also genderqueer (I think it’s possible) or maybe it doesn’t mean anything at all. Depends on the person. It might be of no significance to you (and you may or may not just be a cis man as a result)

As a woman, I have alwaysed wondered, why do men have to wear these... Strictly Samey clothing. Especially suits. And they "can't" or "shouldn't" wear feminine clothing. But if I wear masculine clothing, nobody gives a shit lmao. Its literally double standards!!

@Eeeeeeeeeeh-

11 күн бұрын

Idk if this is completely correct, but one take on on it is it’s because of sexism again, that masculinity it seen as better. So when someone does something that’s seen as masculine it’s seen as better, but if you go from being masculine to feminine it would be like going down a step, idk tho

@frostbitetheannunakiiceind6574

10 күн бұрын

Its not fair it makes me wanna cry some days

@septanine5936

10 күн бұрын

I think it's a combination of masculinity being seen as a default, women being viewed as more expressive, and women having faught for a broader range of expression

@Dave102693

10 күн бұрын

@@septanine5936this

@Dave102693

10 күн бұрын

@@Eeeeeeeeeeh-that’s how people view trans women as well

We don't need to abolish gender, we need to abolish limiting/small box beliefs on what gender should be

@magicseahorse

8 күн бұрын

That's already been done. Catch up.

@souzouookami3059

8 күн бұрын

@@magicseahorse it still is happening genius, so don't pretend you know everything while also being condescending about it

@aster84855

8 күн бұрын

​@@magicseahorseit absolutely hasnt

@bannedmann4469

4 күн бұрын

We don’t need to abolish beliefs either.. do you hear what you are saying?

@souzouookami3059

3 күн бұрын

@@bannedmann4469 I do, you have to have been misinterpreting what I said on purpose, I very clearly said SMALL BOX beliefs, as in beliefs of gender that box people in in an inflexible and limiting way, like saying that one gender isn't allowed to do something but others are, or one gender has to do something that other genders aren't forced to do, as well by extension of limiting gender beliefs, the belief that you have to be the gender you were given at birth

I remember when I first started learning more about gender identity, I was initially annoyed when I was referred to as Cis-gendered. To be fair, it was technically correct, but the idea that it was needed at all felt weird. My thought process was basically "Why do i need to called Cis-gendered? That's never been necessary. I've always just been me." Ever since then, that thought has definitely taken on a lot of weight as I've learned more about the topic and this video really helped put that into perspective. Your insights have always helped me understand things in a way I might not have otherwise and this one especially has helped with that, so thanks again!

@KaiAfterKai

13 күн бұрын

I'm glad to have helped. Wish you luck on your journey, wherever it may lead 🙏🏼

@wigglerlesbian

12 күн бұрын

nothin' wrong with bein' cis

@EmmaHopman

12 күн бұрын

I'm a trans woman. Once I actually understood what gender is, I finally realized that for most people (being cis) isn't something that feels special to them. In our culture we have strongly assumed that being cisgender is the default. To most people, realizing or learning about being cisgender is literally nothing of a surprise, so much so many even question why the term exists. The reason it exists is because not everyone has the same experience. I'm sure that you'd understand that if you're not trans you'd be something else. And that something else is, well, so common it's unremarkable to even think much of it. It's very much the same way we have terms like gay and straight. Without each, we'd have limited understanding of the other.

@edumazieri

10 күн бұрын

@@EmmaHopman Forgive me if the following sounds off, I'm just trying to find the words that make sense to me. It's interesting how the term "cisgender" exists because of the term "transgender", allowing us a language framework that does not set a default, but both terms are still reliant on a relatively coventional understanding of the term "gender" - often assigned at birth and later on often assumed by presentation. While the terms are necessary considering the context in which they were created, they still require assignation and assumption to take place. A broader understanding of gender might require a change both in normative behavior and terminology.

@EmmaHopman

10 күн бұрын

@@edumazieri ya know what's crazy, I wrote something in my notes yesterday night that sounds almost exactly like what you just said.

i cant unsee the ringlights being your pupils

@EmmaHopman

12 күн бұрын

Haha it's like an anime character.

@jan_harald

11 күн бұрын

I can never unsee them with people wearing sunglasses or similar in videos, lol

@BluezPlant

11 күн бұрын

Yassss it got me making up an original character's design even😭😭😭

@samsonokland8651

11 күн бұрын

That is terorfying why did you do this to me whyyyyyyyyyyyy

@kumori_77

11 күн бұрын

same lol 😭

Just be who you wanna be. Wanna kiss the hommies? Do it. Wanna be old school macho gentleman? Do it. Wanna be deinty, strong, athletic, sensible, pragmatic, stylish, gear oriented, art oriented, thing oriented, people oriented, family man, barchelore, etc? Do it. Be the different you in the different stages of life.

💛🤍💜🖤 nothing but respect for my agender siblings and thank you so much for being so empathetic to binary trans people. For some these labels feel like cages and for others they feel like doors that open up means to explain themselves to others and, as in all things: to each their own. We're all in this together ✊️🏳️‍🌈 happy pride fam!

@KaiAfterKai

13 күн бұрын

✊🏽🌈

@EmmaHopman

12 күн бұрын

As a transfem who is in part agender and also feminine, I can relate to both perspectives in this way. I find that, regularly, femininity is an open door and also a cage. I've learned to express myself by the way I feel in the moment, rather than by a sense of trying to be a consistent identity.

@EmmaHopman

12 күн бұрын

✊ 🌈

@magicseahorse

8 күн бұрын

I want to be supportive, but I can't find a single statement of anything here. Everything is so vague. People saying things are hard, but they can't say how. I'm confused. I can't support a community that can't identify its own issues.

@EmmaHopman

8 күн бұрын

@@magicseahorse what kind of statement are you looking for? I don't really understand what you're saying here.

a really really beautifully point little exploration; i'm some random man who feels the same, even going so far to say 'abolish gender' (only just now also realizing that gender is really important to peoples identites) and this was really comforting and something that's gonna linger with me. i just feel i cannot truly be agender or non-binary, i feel like a tick too many stereotypes from the masc box but seeing you, hearing from you, the idea that it's about being yourself and not succumbing to what's expected - i just have to say thank you for this video :)

@KaiAfterKai

13 күн бұрын

I'm glad to hear you got something out of this video, even if you ain't agender. Keep being yourself, whatever that may be✌🏽

@Anon_y_mouse_the_only

12 күн бұрын

@@KaiAfterKai I'm actually wondering if the reason why it ends up being really important to people is because of the importance society places on it. If we lived without the concept at all, would it still be that way? Because if not, then potentially removing the idea at all might not have as many negatives, at least in the long run.

@mr.j3rs3y

11 күн бұрын

@@Anon_y_mouse_the_only Societal expectations are extremely irritating. Instead of people just being allowed to exist and live the human experience; society tries to put us in neat little boxes based on WHAT we are instead of WHO we are.

@crystalvulpine2314

10 күн бұрын

Stereotypes are not gender

@magicseahorse

8 күн бұрын

@@Anon_y_mouse_the_only It's only as important to someone as they make it. If people want to keep preaching about how their real lives are hard because of things that only exist to them through a screen, they'll keep suffering. Nobody without internet cares so much about gender. The seeking of validation from online nobodies is a disease.

Our society is badly obsessed with heteronormative culture. There's poverty and crime out there, yet we have people going crazy over someone's gender identity or who can wear a skirt.

@user-oy8qp6bq3b

7 күн бұрын

It’s one of many distractions that conservatives use to distract from the fact they use poverty and crime to get richer

I'm a uk transfemme and I, like you, can't wait for gender to be homogenised and for nobody to care about what anyone else says they are. I just want to live my life without a terf telling me to piss in a different gendered cubicle, or someone calling me something nobody wants to hear, and to just live my life openly and happily. Lets hope we get a decent government this election who actually cares for people. ❤

@KaiAfterKai

12 күн бұрын

Yeah, it ain't been easy for us for awhile now has it ^^; here's hoping things get better. Stay safe x

@JuniperGal-ek2pu

9 күн бұрын

No…Gender/sex will always exist. Gender stereotypes will always exist as well. However, what society needs is less misogyny and misandry and less strict gender roles.

@magicseahorse

8 күн бұрын

This is the first I've ever heard of gender being homogenized like it's some kind of fake cheese. Can you please explain? I don't understand how or why.

@magicseahorse

8 күн бұрын

@@KaiAfterKai What, specifically, hasn't been easy for a while? I ask because I don't understand and that sounds really vague. What do you mean? I can't care if I don't know.

@hosatus2433

8 күн бұрын

Why even say what you are? Why cant we just be what we are?

As a cisgendered male I never got why people can't understand or accept that gender and biological sex can be different concepts. The moment it was explained to me it made perfect sense. How does your X and Y chromosomes have any bearing on what clothes you wear, or what personality you have or your role in society? The simple, scientific answer is it doesn't, or at least there isn't a 1 to 1 correlation for every person. Trying to enforce rigid gender norms that people aren't comfortable with is a infringment of people's freedom and well being. Also gender dysphoria isn't really that hard of a concept to grasp when you think about the even more bizare birth defects people are born with. There are some people born with the two genitalla, no genitalla, tails, extra limbs, etc but for some reason a female brain in a male body or vice-versa is not possible? Despite all the complications of human sexuality and genetics, some people will dismiss the possibility out of hand that it is a medical condition and call it mental illness. Unfortunately I think fear of the unknown and religion plays the biggest role in this bigotry/misunderstanding. I don't know how to rid the world of religious bigotry but fear of the unknown is easy to enough to fix. If you actually talk to people with unconventional gender idenitities and sexual orientiations or simply learn more about them, you quickly realize they are otherwise pretty normal people.

@LazarusBell

9 күн бұрын

They're the same people that can't distinguish love and sex too, unfortunately.

@magicseahorse

8 күн бұрын

I've never met anyone who can't understand it. I just see comments like this online.

@retropixels873

2 күн бұрын

I think it’s more of lack of acceptance of other people wanting to be true to themselves rather than what is seen as morally correct or as an obligation by someone else. I’m Christian myself and I have no issues with the ideas that other people have because they aren’t my ideas. As much as my ideology is true to me, it shouldn’t negatively impact other groups, people, or events, even though I don’t find it true to myself.

@jacobharris3002

Күн бұрын

@@retropixels873 That's a reasonable take on the matter. Sorry for giving religious people a bad rap. I wish they were all as reasonable as you are. I think most are but unfortunately there will always be people that take things to the extreme.

@retropixels873

Күн бұрын

@@jacobharris3002 no problem. It’s mainly the more extremist groups who create the loudest voice, mainly because the people who are accepting don’t say anything because it’s not a problem in the first place

As a man (a trans man, but still a man), I actually agree with a lot about what you say. I found out I was trans a year or 2 ago, but in the past few months, I’ve really harbored this weird feelings of doubt about my gender identity and I didn’t know why. I’ve found out recently that I am indeed still a man, but I don’t like having expectations placed on me on what it’s like to ‘actually be a man.’ The suit thing in the beginning resonated SO MUCH with me. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love suits, but men are often expected to wear dark and paler colors and a black/white shirt. Personally, even before and after I identified as trans, I naturally geared towards wearing more colorful outfits, like in the boys’ sections of stores. But it seems that it’s mostly acceptable for young men (boys 0-12 years old) to wear colorful clothing, and the men that do decide to stand out and be a bit more stylish would be considered ‘gay’ or ‘flamboyant.’ Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but it relates to the stereotype thing that you mentioned. And even as someone who identifies as male, I sometimes wish the concept of gender was abolished altogether, too. Or at least adjusted ever so slightly to be more fluid and exists merely as only a label without holding such strict standards and expectations for neither men, women, or even LGBTQ people. At this rate, we just need more people to show (not just explain, but SHOW) that there is not a wrong or right way to identify or be a certain gender (or lack there of.) I can’t guarantee that will eliminate the limiting gender expectations that is commonly held, but at least it introduces something for people to reconsider what gender truly is, and maybe leads them to educating themselves more. Thank you for making this video. Keep doing what you’re doing! Thank you for reading this comment (if you did).

@KaiAfterKai

12 күн бұрын

I did indeed read it. Thank you for the comment, I'm glad the video spoke to you 🙏🏽

@defaultdan7923

9 күн бұрын

“but still a man” hell yeah brother, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise

@therealspeedwagon1451

3 сағат бұрын

Why not take the Femboy pill? You can still be a man even in a skirt. Don’t let anyone else take that away from you.

I've thought about that last half a bit since it was a genuine topic in my philosophy course, and the spectrum v.s. binary is really quite a challenge. So much of our lives are built in binaries, or triads, etc.. and we never stop to think about how much importance are placed upon them. If it could be done, the infrastructure in place now would be such an undertaking to evolve out of, and it's been developing and growing more complex for centuries, just for a label really. Great video, happy pride month!

@KaiAfterKai

13 күн бұрын

Happy pride month, and I'm glad to hear more people are talking about the idea of spectrums vs binaries. I wish I had someplace IRL like a philosophy class to really get down and talk about it with in-depth.

@Alright281

12 күн бұрын

I'm not homophobic if I don't celebrate pride month am I?

@Anon_y_mouse_the_only

12 күн бұрын

@@Alright281 No, not at all. Nobody actually is _required_ to do anything, just as long as you're respectful to people you're all good

@ghoust592

12 күн бұрын

@@Alright281 You don't really need to celebrate pride month. I know pride right now is just commercialized by companies, all these arguments like "Can straight people go to pride?" "Do bi people belong at pride?" "Does kink belong at pride?". Obviously ignoring the fact that this is just stupid and those arguments are usually just Biphobia, Xenophobia, Racism, Transphobia or a generalized attempt to sterilize pride for companies to swoop in and advertise themselves. Just be aware that Pride Month is a celebration of how we got to the point where we are now. That if people back then didn't fight back we couldn't be able to be ourselves now, and the long way we are still going to go through.

@Astrojox_

12 күн бұрын

@@Anon_y_mouse_the_onlyYeah. Tolerance and acceptance are quite different.

There's this video "How Conservatives Created (and Cancelled) Gender" that recounts how gender as a social construct was created in reaction to scientific advances which have shown that biological sex doesn't exist as two seperate states but rather a collection of traits, none of which were a source of some divine femininity/masculinity. Being a social construct, gender can be defined and re-defined as you or the society wants. So gender inherited the old meaning of sex and the new meaning of sex is biological muddiness. What that means is that if you took someone from one peak of the bio-sex distribution, and using advanced technology flip them to the other peak, they still coudn't switch genders if society simply insists that it's immutable. (if you go by outside observation instead of self-identification) The conservatives problem with gender (even if it's a thing they created) is that it de-tangles the social and biological. Just by changing the society you interact with you get different models like: gender assigned at birth, presenting as a gender, gender identification, and many mixtures.

@KaiAfterKai

12 күн бұрын

Interesting stuff. I'll have to check out the video, thanks for mentioning it.

@AntiApple4life

9 күн бұрын

Hi from another Alexander Avila subscriber! I watched that video when it was still called A People's History of Gender Ideology, and it is great!

Have you heard the term gender abolitionist? It's a bit flashy or whatever but it's a term I like to use to describe my overall frustration would be excessive need to gender all concepts and all presentations.

@KaiAfterKai

13 күн бұрын

Like I said in the video, I'd love to do some more reading on the topic, but it does sound nice and flashy...

@Tzensa

10 күн бұрын

There’s a few flavors within the school of thought. The one that I subscribe to is that gender, within the context of a modern society, is a functionally useless concept with one exception. It can be useful as a quick descriptor. For example when trying to point someone out “the woman in the blue shirt,” could be useful if there’s two men in blue shorts also standing near by. Personally I’d prefer femme and masc in place of woman and man but that’s another matter. With that in mind we should chip away at the significance of gender until it holds no more weight in society than hair or eye color. As a side note I personally believe that shrinking the importance of gender to such a degree would also help reduce the level of dysphoria that many trans people deal with. Anyhow there’s a lot more subtlety and nuance to it than that but hopefully this helps.

@magicseahorse

8 күн бұрын

@@KaiAfterKai How would something like that be implemented? Without consent?

@bannedmann4469

4 күн бұрын

@@magicseahorseGood question. They reveal their true colors saying scary shit like this.

@bannedmann4469

4 күн бұрын

@@TzensaWe don’t need to chip away at anything, people just need the freedom to express themselves. Why do y’all take things so far?

I can't believe how well you summarised my feelings about gender in such a short time. I was assigned female at birth and always had an odd relationship regarding femininity. It lead to me first rejecting it completely and then forcing it onto me but nothing felt right. Nowadays I understand that a lot of these complicated feelings come from what society teaches us about gender. The world was a different place 30 years ago and I am glad it's slowly adapting to a more diverse and critical thinking. I've been identifying as non binary for roughly two years now and as someone who dressed quite feminine in the past and prefers a more masculine gender representation now it did strike questions in others as well as myself. I wondered if the reason I cut my hair short is because I want to rebel against femininity and how it hurt me in the past or because I actually want to change my gender. Breaking down your own thinking patterns and deconstructing learned behaviour is freaking tough. At 30 years I am not sure what of my feelings are genuine, whats taught behaviour and what's a coping mechanism. I was asked (very politely) by a coworker if I want to be treated as a man now and I just smiled and said "I don't really know. Right now I just want to be me and I am fine with being everything and nothing at the same time." I like the idea of being agender (im AroAce so being a AAA battery sound rad) but as it is at the moment I think too much about my assigned gender to vibe with the label. Maybe I'll be caught in this limbo of wondering if I am trans or agender my whole life but that's fine. I like the way I am right now and I am starting to accelt that I don't need a clear answer or label for that. Thats why the non binary umbrella term is lovely. I don't want to be a woman or a man the way society teaches us. I just want to be me and thats okay

@laxsjo.

12 күн бұрын

Omg, the term being an "AAA battery" so needs to become a thing!

@RikkuX5

12 күн бұрын

@@laxsjo. Saw the term a few times on Tumblr but we definitely need to spread the word!

@ClimbLikeAGirl-vz3gt

11 күн бұрын

Yes. Yes yes yes. Im Not aro/ace but I vibe so much with the rest of what you explained.

@spaghetto9836

10 күн бұрын

​@@laxsjo.I think it's already becoming a thing; either AroAce & Agender or A-spec, Agender & Autistic. I'm glad.

@este_marco

5 сағат бұрын

or a scream of confusion "AAA!!!"

The thing is, society views masculine traits as positive traits and feminine traits as negative. That's why a man embracing his feminine traits is more looked down upon than a woman embracing her masculine traits

@williamspears1627

10 күн бұрын

This is untrue. Look up the Women are Wonderful effect. Listen to all of the people who say that misandry isn't real. Look at the obsession with toxic masculinity but the lack of discussion when it comes to tosic femininity.

@minimump5248

9 күн бұрын

@@williamspears1627 Okay... And what does it have to do with my original comment?

@williamspears1627

9 күн бұрын

@@minimump5248 Society does not view masculine traits as positive or feminine traits as negative. That was the point of my comment.

@minimump5248

9 күн бұрын

@@williamspears1627 Feminine presenting males get persecuted while masculine presenting females rarely get ostracized. A woman wearing men's clothing is seen as fashionable or get brushed off while a man wearing women's clothing is called a sinner. Your thesis on my statement being untrue lacks support. Also, what did toxic masculinity and toxic feminity have to do with my original comment?

@williamspears1627

9 күн бұрын

@@minimump5248 Feminine presenting males get persecuted because women force men to adhere to strict gender roles. This is why Gay men are able to dress freely and better express themselves compared to their heterosexual counterparts. Women can wear men's clothing because men don't force women to adhere to strict gender roles. Historically the Tomboy archetype is proof that men haven't really forced women to adhere to strict gender roles. If you don't understand the context in which I used toxic masculinity and toxic femininity (you misspelled it as feminity) then re-read my comment. The context is there. If you can't understand it then find someone more intelligent and have them break it down for you.

Kai, I understand this video on such a deep level. I'm also nonbinary, and finally taking that step to aknowledge that the expectations you see put on everyone are not just nonsensical and arbitrary, but actively make you feel worse about yourself. It is freeing. It feels good no longer being in a weirdly rigid bubble. People experience gender so differently, so explaining your discomfort almost feels impossible to someone who does not feel similar. That's why videos like this matter so much. Happy Pride!

@KaiAfterKai

13 күн бұрын

I'm glad you resonated with this so strongly 🙏🏼🙏🏼 happy pride 🏳️‍🌈

That is punk as hell. As a cisgendered man I am also really fed up with the limitations of suits as the only appropriate formal wear. Let me wear colorful fanciful outfits and be revered for my style rather than rejected for my gender expression.

As an AFAB enby that grew up having to wear dresses all the time to formal events (wasn’t until adulthood I was able to explore other options), I always envied men’s suits. Not for their style, but for the simplicity. The easiness of them. I’m not a fancy person, I don’t like formalwear or dressing up, I don’t like getting creative with my outfits. I like to be comfortable. And suits were so simple and straightforward. And you could wear the same black or navy suit to almost any event and no one would bat an eye or even think about how it’s the same suit you wore to the last event. But everyone notices if you repeat a dress twice, especially twice in a row. And I hated that. I just wanted to be plain and neutral. So for me being able to wear suits was something I was completely jealous of.

Ugh I really feel this deeply. I am a high functioning autistic and I just have certain oddities about me like liking my nails to be slightly longer just because it feels right to me and when I have to cut them my fingers will occasionally get sore. I have a lot of sensory issues with my skin so Im stuck wearing sweat shirts because of how it makes me feel but a shirt feels really weird compared to it. Also a lot of textures are pretty bad. I hate cologne and deodorant because of those manly strong smells and its not because I think or want to be a woman I just would like to not have societal norms forced on me. Yeah I also think that mens chocies are incredibly boring and uninteresting

@KaiAfterKai

12 күн бұрын

World ain’t too kind to neuro divergent people. Keep doing you mate 👊🏾

@magicseahorse

8 күн бұрын

Why did you call yourself an autistic? Autistic is an adjective. Quit it with the labels. You're hurting yourself and it's annoying people.

This video is just based. As a trans woman i think it's so cool that people are willing to exit the gender binary (or gender altogether), and it also winds up helping me in my transition since I basically look GNC whatever i do 😂 seeing other GNC people is such a relief, i just feel safer with y'all 💜

@magicseahorse

8 күн бұрын

So as a person who did a thing, you think it's cool to see other people abandon their structure? Weird. I don't get how it's your business.

@staydio

8 күн бұрын

​@@magicseahorse How about you 🤏 shush

@magicseahorse

8 күн бұрын

@@staydio When you tear out a man's tongue, you are not proving him a liar, you're only telling the world that you fear what he might say. Enjoy your fear.

@staydio

8 күн бұрын

@@magicseahorse They just stated that it's nice seeing other people like them and it makes them feel better. And your response is calling them weird. That's not freedom of speech it's called being rude.

@railedb0x503

7 күн бұрын

@@magicseahorse do something useful instead of replyting to every comment on this video and maybe get rid of that ego of yours

The ringlight and glasses combo makes it looks like you got googly eyes which is awesome.

Trans Girl here. The Thumbnail initially scared me a bit bcuz it kinda reminded me of the anti SJW era, but after i watched it i was amazed❤. awesome Video❤. congrats on the egg crack❤. love your style❤.

@KaiAfterKai

12 күн бұрын

Thank you for watching, I'm glad the video found you 🙏🏽

@magicseahorse

8 күн бұрын

What's with all the hearts? Women don't do that. Some little girls do.

@user-oy8qp6bq3b

7 күн бұрын

@@magicseahorse so? Just move on if a few hearts triggers you so much lol

@LucinaVRC

7 күн бұрын

@@magicseahorse it's a way to convey feelings, which is generally harder to do over text. The video was really heartwarming and i wanted to Express that

the problem with suits is that many people have a limited understanding of what a suit can be; usually just a cool-colored jacket and pants with a white shirt. anything else doesn't register as a suit to most people. a suit is ultimately just a top and a bottom made out of the same material, which can lead to some really interesting outfits if you're willing to put in the effort. a recent favorite celebrity example of mine is Coleman domingo's critics' choice awards outfit.

I believe men deserve more self respect

Putting a limit on one's expression is putting a limit on one's world and creativity. With lack of creativity neither the oppressed nor the oppressors evolve and learn. Therefore everyone remains stale, worse with resentment coming from both sides.

This video is basically me in a daily basis

@KaiAfterKai

13 күн бұрын

May we both find out way out 🙏🏽🙏🏽

@cherrybomb797

13 күн бұрын

@@KaiAfterKaisoon enough!

@scrungler_boinbus

12 күн бұрын

:0 cherry bomb

@magicseahorse

8 күн бұрын

So your identity is a KZread video? Ouch!

As a trans woman I agree with absolutely everything you said in here, I want gender stereotypes to go away and want it to be a spectrum too, I’ve been so happy ever since I’ve came out as a trans woman, nonbinary people don’t have a certain “look” and the same should be said about all the other genders, happy pride month, stay happy ❤

-nonbinary -xenoblade chronicles 3 -evangelion -milk the autism is RESONATING with this one. sub earned. happy pride 💛🤍💜🖤

Heya there, also a nonbinary person. I understand this video on a deep, spiritual level. I've struggled with internal transphobia for years, feeling like I'm not masculine enough for people to not see me as a woman, and vice versa. Anytime I go outside I observe the mannerisms of others around me, typically men, and try to act like that. It's difficult to explain, but because I was AFAB if I do act feminine no one cares about whatever label I have. It's just.. woman. I can't wait until the world just gets rid of the concept of gender and we can simply dress and act the way we want to without people spouting about how "back in my day men were men and women were women." With that being said, happy pride everyone 🌈

Man, I wanted perfume as a birthday gift but my mom insisted on getting me cologne. She woild NOT get me any perfume because I'm a guy... So I just got neither.

The older I get , the less gender makes sense to me too (I’m agender)

@magicseahorse

8 күн бұрын

Yeah. People give up on things when they get older.

@just_some_greek_dude

5 күн бұрын

What's the difference between being non binary and being agender

@VioletViolence

5 күн бұрын

@@just_some_greek_dude non-binary is an umbrella term. Agender is a sub-label of non-binary. Like… I can just say I’m non-binary. But if someone asked me to be more specific, for example, I’d say I’m agender. I hope that makes sense 🙏🏽✨

@hellod7961

Күн бұрын

​@@just_some_greek_dudeNon-binary is an umbrella term for people that identify as more or neither than one gender, for example, both Gender-fluid and Agender fall under 'Non-binary' because they're something else other than just one gender if that makes sense

I’ve always supported trans/NB people and the like, but although I completely agree with their reasoning, I just can’t understand the motivation to change gender. (Which is fine. Other people are different than me, of course.) If I’m a guy who likes feminine clothes (which I am), or am not comfortable with traditional masculinity for whatever reason, then why does that mean I have to change my gender accordingly? Isn’t the problem with society’s expectations of gender, not with gender itself? That’s what I mean by understanding the thought process but not the motivation. To me, it would be better if society as a whole stopped carrying assumptions about people because of their gender. I’ve thought this way for a while, and it’s great to know others think sort-of similarly.

@KaiAfterKai

13 күн бұрын

What is a "gender" if not a collective of societal expectations assigned to a gender? That's how I see it at least. Regardless, you still know that you're a man despite enjoying "feminine" things? You got as much respect from me as someone who says they don't wanna be a man 🙌🏾 keep doing what you're doing

@etasjo

12 күн бұрын

im not trans because i like "feminine things" but because i have gender dysphoria

@TrashcanAccount

12 күн бұрын

For me it's gender dysphoria, I just cannot stand having a male body at all (and wished I had a female body instead), I'm an introvert so I care less about gender roles but they still matter.

@PeriOfTheGee

11 күн бұрын

Gender is just like a vibe. Im a woman because I love being one. Its just a way to say youre similar to other people who use that label. And a 'feminine' body also matches my aesthetic better so thats why I changed that one too.

@Chopscrewyyy

11 күн бұрын

Nobody is really changing their gender at all. Gender is something within you and it doesn't always match your sex and gendered roles/clothing assigned to you at birth. It's all a matter of changing the outside to be true to the inside

Another good reminder of how easy I have it as a cis dude who likes to wear suits. Loved the video!

@KaiAfterKai

13 күн бұрын

Enjoy your suits, friend. Just don't be shy of mixing things up now and then ;)

@magicseahorse

8 күн бұрын

You like to wear suits? Ha! Can't stand them.

I feel completely the same. It has been like that since i learned what nb meant and even before that i knew. I'm agender too, but many people in my life don't know that. Many people think it's silly, or I'm afraid to think they would. I kinda hate explaining myself. And people love to shit on nb people, even saying "well in a world with no difference between men and women in society you wouldn't be nb!" And I'm always baffled because........... We don't live in that world do we? Really great video, i love your style and your video editing style

@Akab

11 күн бұрын

Umm Akshually🤓... in a world with no gender binary, no one would be binary therefore everyone would be nonbinary 👁️👄👁️

As someone born male, I strongly relate to this and also wish that we could have a lot more acceptance of degendered dressing and appearance. For all my life, I've had long hair but it's because I grew up as a west coast skater boy in the USA. For all my life, people would encourage my long hair and tell me that it looks great on men. When I started to be honest about my possibility of identifying as MtF trans, suddenly everyone starts telling me "I could tell you were trans because of your hair!!" and it's annoying because i genuinely look at long hair as something that can 100% be done as a man. All of my ex partners were cis women that never had hair longer than their shoulders. I genuinely do not see gender as a factor for the length of anyone's hair. This is even more annoying when you look at subcultures (Punk, Goth, Rock) where long hair on men was already the norm, or even actual cultures (Nordic, Chinese, Native American) where long hair has literally been a part of its roots and history. gender is exhausting.

THE INTRO REMINDED ME WHEN I WAS LIKE IN 3RD GRADE AND I WAS TALKING TO MY FRIEND ABOT HOW GUYS DONT GET TO WEAR DRESSES AND SKIRTS AND STUFF

omg yeah no ive had these exact same thoughts for the longest time and just never had a word for it. Its such a breath of fresh air to hear someone else say that they don't get gender at all, like i thought i was just going crazy, everyone else seems to be driven by this thing and I can't tell if it's mass hysteria or if I am the delusional one. tysm for existing. Also if you want to be looking into postgenderism you wanna look into gender accelerationism and social constructionism.

@KaiAfterKai

12 күн бұрын

I'm glad you enjoyed the video! And cheers for the leads, definitely looking them up later

Fuck it, full Roman armour

Dang, I relate to this video way too much. I very recently found out I'm non-binary (But have had feelings for like over a year beforehand), and you just summarized my EXACT thoughts on gender. My 18th birthday is at the end of June/Pride Month and I'm going to be coming out as Non-binary to my family then, so wish me luck lol.

@albertwesker6153

10 күн бұрын

Good luck dude

@Turai12

10 күн бұрын

Good luck!

Thank you so much for making this video. I relate a lot. I'm not agender, because to me personally that's still too much of defining myself in relation to gender. I have rejected labels altogether, gender and sexuality wise. I'm just me. I still use he/him pronouns, because I use any. I still present in a way that people perceive as "masculine". And honestly, it bothers me that so many of our choices (conscious or unconscious) are steeped in gender perception. You didn't really convince me of anything, or said something I didn't know, but you did show me that there's someone out there who understands. And I really appreciate that. I really need it right now. Finally, I really agree with the gender abolitionist sentiment and with hating gender. I think a critical nuance we have to understand tho is that hating gender doesn't mean we should hate people for having gender identities. Gender is larger than people's identities, it's a whole set of expectations, values, modes of perception... That's the real issue, not people being how they want to be. So yeah. That's the difference with TERFs. They hate particular gender identities, but they love the social mechanism of gender

@vincentbatten4686

12 күн бұрын

I also agree with this idea. I wish more people would talk about it. I always try to explain it as others might call me agender and or pansexual, but I don't use these terms to describe myself because it's just another label used to group me in a hypothetical construct with other people. These aren't ideas that define me. No singular idea defines me. They're labels which are just classifications that also aren't completely similar to other's beliefs or understandings. Why would I defy a label by assigning it a label? That said, it's helpful to have a reference point for some people in order to help shape conversation. People absorb and take in information in vastly different ways. I'm not trying to alienate others while having a conversation. If it's helpful to them to use those terms in order to follow the conversation, then be my guest. I know some people love to use labels to define themselves. It can be a very touchy thing to discuss with people, so it's not like I bring this up often, but I tend to believe that some people just need rigid rails in order to help them understand themselves. Sort of like how some artists' creatively flourish more when they have limitations. I know that's largely an assumption, but I'm not trying to shatter someones self conception during our coffee break, you know. It doesn't truly bother me unless they are trying to ascribe their personal beliefs about there ideas of gender, sexuality, or anything else to other people. They assume objectivity when there is no objectivity.

Women in red carpets: 👗🥻👚💃✨️💖 Men: 🕴

I just think of it as an aesthetic, i think even just a spectrum is too limiting because it implies there are extremes or limits on it, or that there are focal points of it

as somebody who just recently realized i prefer to label myself Agender, watching through the intro it was just point for point, to a T *exactly* what i've experienced. i clicked thinking "oh there's no way that when this person says 'i hate being a man' they mean it in the same way i do, it's probably just some other thing" and then it just. was. i don't know how to describe how validated i feel now, genuinely thank you so much for making this.

This is a very interesting, insightful video! I know this is a bit of a nitpick and, but the only bit I disagree with is the bit about suits. As someone who dresses in formal menswear everyday, I know suits can be just as interesting and marvelous as any other kind of clothing. A lot of the suits men wear nowadays are mediocre and uninteresting because formalwear has fallen out of fashion, and interesting cuts, styles, fabrics patterns aren't really manufactured anymore for that reason - but that doesn't necesarily mean formalwear can't be interesting :-)

@KaiAfterKai

13 күн бұрын

Oh sure. Just because I wish there were other, more diverse options doesn’t mean I want them gone; quite the contrary, I'd be sad to lose suits.

I love when the alogrothim just sends me vedios that sum up my gender experience perfectly lol

@KaiAfterKai

12 күн бұрын

Happy that it got sent your way ^^

Mini rant response: There are patterns and there are outliers. This is inevitable once you have enough ideas and evidence. In my eyes, all people have varying degrees and depths of different qualities and values, and like with all things, these traits on their own aren't inherently good or evil -- any extreme will leave you with flaws exposed. I see the same thing when applied to gender. What is masculine and what is feminine is defined by culture, and we will see patterns and outliers between different definitions. I am a man, and my male experience might be different to another man's male experience, but it is a shared male experience regardless. However, I will admit that I also have feminine qualities. I am the therapist friend for many, I am a social butterfly, I have an eye for how people express the different parts of themselves, and I try to support those around me as much as I can, mainly emotionally. That forms a nurturing role. A very "feminine" role. I believe that all people have touches of these different qualities, masculine and feminine, and I believe that your identity, biological or psychological, influences how these qualities are expressed. This means that men have varying degrees of "masculine" traits as much as they do "feminine" trats, and vice versa, and they can be expressed in the same way or differently due to expression of identity. But that doesn't change the fact that these qualities are fluid and there is nothing about them that restrict them to one idea or to a singular gender. When discussing manliness as a virtue, the idea that these virtues are not exclusive to men is always brought up because being a good person isn't gendered. The methods to be a good person isn't gendered. Wisdom should come from as many sources as it can, and you can bet your butt that includes from different genders. It's why I don't give a flying potato pie about people's identities. Because all of these pieces -- ideology, experience, values, beliefs, nature, nurture, and the thousands of lenses we use to view life and the lives of others -- coalesce together to form you, and you form your choices and your identity in turn. Anyone is allowed to be emotional; anyone is allowed to be stoic. Anyone is allowed to be social; anyone is allowed to be pragmatic. Anyone is allowed to strong; anyone is allowed to be vulnerable. Anyone is allowed to feel feminine; anyone is allowed to feel masculine. And for the sake of my sanity, suits don't have to be boring! Men's fashion is subtle, but stylising exists! I own one suit and I know this! Seek professional help! A tailor, even! You celebrities can afford it!

Men fashion has been stuck in the early 1900s, and hasn't been questioned ever since. The revolution starts with people like you speaking out. Thanks for using your voice and spreading the message

I was raised twelve years in a boys only catholic school. After graduating and noticing how noticeably different life is without so much masculine pressure, I started realizing I did, said and thought so many things I now deeply regret and I later realized that the reason for all of that happening in the first place was because “that’s what men do”, “that’s what men are”. And if devoting my identity to a gender that doesn’t have any meaning to me means doing things that I wouldn’t naturally do, then it doesn’t make sense for me to keep considering myself a man. Great video and I’m always so happy to know that I’m not alone with this.

I hate gender too. But being called "non binary" is honestly kind of stupid. Not because it is invalid; more like it is too obvious. There's a thousand variables you could point to, that influence the "gender" you are supposedly performing. Oh, you like cars or dolls? Did you like the movie Barbie? Have you ever put on makeup, or used basic skincare? Do you like the color pink? Have you ever considered a full body-shave? Have you ever bought clothing meant for the opposite sex? Do you like dramatic or emotional movies? How many times a year do you cry? What kind of music do you like? Not only we can find "gendered" things everywhere around us, opposite dualities like the sun and the moon or right and left that we assign a gender to (and also add those newly gendered things to the list of stuff that "defines" your gender), but also the definition of masculinity is very subjective. We have some sort of idea of it, but some of those ideas can really go into extremes no actual existing man can achieve. So if you're a "man" in gender, but you're not that one extreme perfect idea of a man, in which absolutely all gender boxes are checked, are you really a man? If you are, where do we draw the line? Basically, I believe there's no point in drawing the line. There are thousands of shades of grey in between black and white. We are ALL non binary. Some are more masculine and some more feminine than others, but when it comes to gender, the absolutes are never real, and there's no place to draw the line. That's why I feel its stupid. Calling oneself "non binary" is more of a political statement than an actually useful notion. That's why the whole non-binary pronouns stuff seems pointless to me; beyond that political statement, I have no problems with being called by male pronouns. But eh, whatever

@j.s.ospina9861

11 күн бұрын

Also, quick note, but I've come to the conclusion that the "gender" trans people refer to and the "gender" non binary people refer to are two entirely different things. We get confused because they are called the same. The "trans gender" is more close to some sort of a perceptional sex, a sex you perceive yourself as. It is closely related to the body; that's why there's this whole deal about sex-change operations. There's scientific proof this perceptional sex is actually related to brain anatomy. The "non binary gender", which is the one I talk about above, is more about characteristics or feats of personality, that also happen to be societally "assigned" to the idea of the societal role for each sex. Because of that assignment, trans people might start liking the "societal gender" opposite to their bodies, because their "perceptional sex" is opposite to their bodies too. In theory, of course. But initially, these are separate.

I guess that (at least by that definition) it is possible that I could be agender (or something like that) but I always was pushed back by the idea because I felt that identifying myself as agender kinda defeats the whole purpose of not wanting to fit into a classification, as even if you arent really in one, most people will just see it as a different kind of gender (humans love to classify things into boxes, that is literally our whole gimmic) But I do think I understand the concept a little bit better now (thx to this video) Even then, I think that (at least for me) I will still present myself as male for 3 reasons 1- as you said, most people have a very specific and narrow idea of what an agender person should look like, which it isn't who I am 2- it is much easier to explain to other people, even if I don't really care if what I do is what my gender ''should do'', I'm used to be treated as male 3- my uncles would fucking ROAST me if they find out, since where I come from it is not very ''normal'' (this is a true LATAM moment) plus, in Spanish-speaking countries, pronouns are a pain in the ass to change because of how the language is structured, so even if I felt uncomfortable with my pronouns (wich I don't think I am any ways) it would be extremely difficult for people to get used to them, even if they have good intentions But any ways... What I always say is, that the only word that can fully describe ''you'' is ''you'' , anything else would just be an aspect of you, like you are not ''smart'', or ''introverted'', or ''gay',' or ''hetero' or whatever other descriptor, you are a mix of all this things, you are a person so you don't really need to put yourself this tags (unless you want to do it of course, in wich case go for it) but you can instead just be who you are and let the descriptors come later, This can be applied to a lot of other things, not just gender tho (TLDR: be yourself I guess?, idk) . . . . Also I just wanted say that the way the ring of light reflects in your glasses makes me feel like your pupils are staring into my soul xD (great vid btw)

Going into this video, I thought it would be about the struggles and hardships of just simply being a male. Not...gendered clothing.

We should start dressing like assassin’s creed characters

@KaiAfterKai

Күн бұрын

Your proposal... intrigues me.

As an AMAB person named Kai who has recently been questioning my gender, seeing this particular combination title, thumbnail, and channel name was... a little spooky lmao. Great video, and I agree with a lot of what you're saying!

i ain’t calling myself anything, i’m just me, keeps things simple

I personally do not feel that strong about gender, it’s great if others do but it’s just not for me. I’m not NB, I’m not male, I’m not female, I’m just me and I’m just happy being me. I don’t want to put a label on it, I’m not agender, I’m not gender fluid, I’m not trans, I’m just me and I’m comfortable with that.

"I don't like cheese because it's not a vegetable" sounds kinda hard tho

As a feminine leaning enby, my take on the abolish gender thing is that the thing about gender we need to abolish is people making such a thing out of it. Like, we don't need enforced gender roles. We don't need laws that discriminate based on gender. We don't need gender based dress codes. And we don't need to have our gender chosen at birth (this is especially a problem for intersex people who often face genital mutilation as babies by doctors forcing them to fit the binary). I don't think we need to abolish gender beyond that. Like, as simple collections of traits. As clubs you feel like you belong to. As things you vibe with and get a sense of community and shared experience from. They're fine. I keep going back and fourth on whether I want to go towards being a girl or go more in the agender direction. There are lots of nice things about being a girl that I vibe with and about 85% of the time I like getting treated as basically a girl by my friends. But there are definitely times when I'm like "yeah, but not like that" and recoil from being a girl. And that's not even to do with sexism. I think once you have unmoored yourself from gender it's easy to develop a very nuanced view on it. I'm not sure if I agree with you on trans people in particular having a strong bond with gender. I think a lot of cis people do too. And it's not invalid for them to. They were lucky and got a lot of things to align for them in life in that regard. Their typical lack of having done any gender exploration is a bit more of a problem for how it causes them to act. Some people love being a man. And that's totally cool unless they suck as a person, but that applies to everybody.

@KaiAfterKai

12 күн бұрын

Appreciate the thoughts!

@whyiwakeup6460

11 күн бұрын

I have very similar experiences, just more nothing instead of repulsion from being perceived as a girl.

@saoirse2963

10 күн бұрын

But you yourself enforce gender roles. You don't call yourself a women because you vibe with things that are supposedly masculine, how is that not enforcing gender roles and stereotypes?

@docopoper

10 күн бұрын

@@saoirse2963 That's very true. To that I say that reality is messy, anxiety exists and emotions can be irrational even if you believe something. But yeah, it's true that my reasoning there is enforcing gender roles.

Neither my sister nor I totally fit traditional gender stereotypes, and I think it’s really interesting that we reconciled that in opposite ways. I decided that because I’m male and a consider myself a man, everything I do is therefore masculine regardless of whether or not it has been traditionally viewed that way. My sister decided that because they had interests and personality traits that didn’t fully align with traditional femininity, they were therefore not a woman and now identify as nonbinary.

I 100% resonate with the concepts you have laid out in this video. I don't really like the idea of gendered things and believe many of those we have deemed "for boys/girls" should be a thing of the past. While I am comfortable with my assigned sex (male) I do find myself wanting to get in touch with the feminine side that wants to express itself more. Watching this video made me realize that I just might fall under the non-binary umbrella to some degree, and I think that's beautiful. Be who you want to be, and let no one tell you otherwise!

@ManyFacesCrystalEyes-nc6lx

7 күн бұрын

Why be non-binary when you can just… be a guy who likes traditionally feminine things? What’s so bad about challenging gender expectations?

I remember watching those shows where there were episodes that gender bent the main character(s). I didn't get their reaction to it. Why was it wrong to them? Why did they change their interests and behavior? Why were they so desperate to change back? Sure, they didn't decide to change, but they also didn't decide what they were born as. When I placed myself in the hypothetical scenario, I wouldn't care that much or change. I used to think I was better than the other guys I knew because I could play with whatever I wanted, while they limited themselves to "boy toys". "Boy/girl toys" were just a scheme to make kids want to play with the same toys as their friends were playing with, so they'd want them more, or something. Then, while watching Avatar, I learned that it wasn't just a kids' thing. Adults too separated specific jobs and skills to certain genders, and that's stupid. I never saw any "real" difference between boys and girls other than physically, and being raised by a biologist who loved talking about anything related to her work, I knew about the exceptions. later, I heard about trans people and non-binary people, which fed my superiority complex. I thought they just didn't know they could play with dolls *and* cars if they wanted to. Then, a friend of mine came out, and they did not fit my stereotypes. I was confused. I wasn't sure what to do because I wanted to respect them, but they clearly must think there is some difference between being a boy and a girl, and I couldn't wrap my head around that. It cost me that friendship. But now I realize that I did not understand gender better than anyone else, or at all. My logic was literally that everyone else was dumb because I didn't even need to think about it to find the answer. That's stupid. But now that I knew that I didn't understand it, I finally had questions about what I didn't understand. It took me a while, but I slowly started interacting with some communities about this stuff, mainly through VRChat. I was first introduced to gender as a social thing, and about the cultural significance it has, and the drastically different ways cultures have treated it. I realized that I did not experience gender. I got a little scared that I would read up about non-binary stuff and somehow feel like I found a piece that made sense of me, and I did not want to go through the journey of discovering my asexuality again. I then discovered agender, and felt nothing. Sure, I fit the description of agender, but I couldn't relate to it. It was confusing. Why do people who have no gender identify with not having a gender? Well, why did I care that I was asexual? Asexuality made me feel different; something expected of me was missing. I'm guessing that is why people identify as agender too; agender people feel "different". I don't feel anything, like telling a lunar moth that they are asexual. Sure, they might acknowledge the definition, not experiencing attraction, but they wouldn't care. They are biologically asexual; attraction for reproduction is an "other" to them. At first, I assumed it was due to how I was raised. My grandma could lift cars, after all; it wasn't a very stereotypical family household. But I've heard from other people with the same experience, and one of them thought it was due to the completely opposite. So I don't know. I did stumble into the neurological side of things, and I have had a brain-related hobby for the past 5-ish years, so I knew where to look and found some interesting stuff that leads me to believe that your gender is mainly determined by your brain structure in some way... but really, I'm at the bottom of the Dunning Kruger curve right now. I know nothing, and I might never understand most things about gender. anyways, hope you found my stupidly loong comment interesting

I love the lack of fashion that define men. I would rather never look fashionable or want to even see fashion on a man that isn't a specifically treated as a uniform. I either purely utilitarian about clothes or want to wear a uniform. No inbetween since fashion and all forms of gender expression are useless BS to me. I am defined by my virtues, not my tastes in people or colours.

This is a really insightful video

@KaiAfterKai

13 күн бұрын

I appreciate that 🙏🏼

I want be more than man. More eyes. More. Limbs. A higher intelligence. Spanning across the universe. In every possible reality.

@KaiAfterKai

Күн бұрын

And at the end of the day, is all that really so much to ask for?

Love this, a clear and honest review of gender. I have to say i really agree with your view. Iam a man and my entire life people have always acted weird when it comes to me being a little more feminine than usual. Just today i got a comment from someone close that some necklace i had was to feminine. Or people being nearly disturbed because i as a man wear nailpolish. I also remember one time a friend of mine was having a rough time and crying so i went over and comforted him. The only thing people Said to me after that is “that’s so feminine of you” like what ? Do i gotta be a woman to help someone or what ? Now whenever someone asks me what i identify as (or just the topic of gender comes up) i just say that iam not feminine, not masculine, iam myself. And that for me is the biggest thing, to no longer be seen as a man or woman But as a person. Full of Dreamscape hopen and ideale. Sadly enough if you identify as trans or non-binary i feel like you’re just being put in another box. People see me as a man before they see me as a person.

Personal opinion, but I think the reason women being more masculine is more accepted than men being more feminine is due to sexism. The male hegemony gets an ego boost when everyone wants to be like them, when people reject their idea of acceptability they take it as a personal insult. For myself, I've recently found the courage to try feminine styles in public myself, and I LOVE it! Especially in this summer weather it's very comfortable, and looks great as well. Love the video!

Yeah, the whole "it sucks that women can wear whatever they want" thing was something I noticed from a young age, but I didn't want to be a man in a dress. Anyway, I'm a woman now. In the defence of the suit (and dinner jacket et al), I appreciate it for what it is, subtle and understated. I understand that's not what everybody wants. Personally, I think 18th century court dress is maybe a direction for a more decorative and colourful form of menswear that men are comfortable with.

As a cishet man I totally agree with your comments on men’s fashion.

This is exactly why I started cosplaying

I dont even know this person and they've already made me more comfortable planning to transition from demi-boy to nonbinary

I could relate to every part of the video, every sentence you said. You're not alone. I first started considered myself agender, but slowly gravitated more to the gray stripe in the agender flag, which is demigender. I have no real connection to the concept of masculinity, but I also don't really experience any body dysphoria to want to stop being percieved as a male. I think that's why I feel such strong comfort in the term "demiboy", I feel that it describes me well. While I know that being agender doesn't neccessarily mean disliking your gendered body, that was a connection I just couldn't get rid of from my head, and demigender just clicked with me more. "I'm not a big stupid bloke, nor a delicate beautiful lady. I'm just me." Thank you for making this video. It feels very... Idk, ig "validating" to see someone talk about their experience when it is so similar to mine.

It's refreshing to finally come across someone that thinks the same way I do when it comes to Gender. It really is a dumb concept that was decided by nobody. In my actual honest opinion, I believe that the entire concept didn't truly exist until recently, I would argue that industrialization and religion are the two biggest factors. Somehow, the societies of our world got so twisted into this silly idea that you should live entirely based on your genitals and not based on your mind and soul. Who the hell said that a t-shirt and khaki shorts defines a man? Who the hell decided that fingernail paint is the trademark of a woman? I recently realized that NOBODY actually has a say in what you can and cannot wear, NOBODY has the right to dictate the way you walk, or the way you wear your hair. If more people of this earth recognize that they have the choice to be themselves then we can finally get a move on.

I think it should be more accepted to be a man with femininity or a woman with masculinity. Biological sex exists though and isn’t irrelevant. Men and women tend to be different in some ways which is natural but men and women are similar in many ways as well.

I think the reason why women are allowed to wear things like suits is because "manly, dominant, strong" is considered better and more honorable than "feminine, submissive, helpless"

@williamspears1627

10 күн бұрын

This is simply not true. Explain why decades ago women wearing masculine clothing was frowned upon? Look up the Women are Wonderful effect. Femininity is praised and pedestaled in The West. Masculinity is heavily criticized and scrutinized. Men who don't conform to strict gender roles are punished...by women.

Thank you for the video, I have been going through a period of questioning my gender, I've never liked the expectations around being seen as a man, I don't feel any discomfort or anything around being a man, but I don't really want that to be my core identity, more gender apathetic ig? I want to be seen as my individual self first and whatever label people put on me second or not at all. I appreciate your perspective on being agender since I've been wondering if that might be a decent description of how I feel

I feel the exact same almost all the time. It shouldn’t affect how I live but no one around me understands it. I really appreciate you being so brave and coming out here, especially at this time when I really need to see it. Thanks

@KaiAfterKai

12 күн бұрын

I'm glad the video spoke to you. Best of luck in your life, and may you find someone who gets it 🙏🏼

Love this video, first of yours I've seen! 100% my gender experience... though I've been kind of on the fence with coming out officially as Agender. Maybe this is a small way in which we differ, actually, but I'm just sort of frustrated with gender because of what I see it as: an inherently coercive social institution with too many contradictions to name. As such, I feel like like any decision I'd make to come out as Agender would be like a purely political one. I don't think my fairly masculine expression would even change all that much, but it comes from a place of "I do it because it's just... me, not because anyone told me I'm a man." Because of that, it feels weirdly "unearned" somehow; I neither have any particularly strong feeling about being called a man, nor do I experience any particular joy escaping from the things we associate with that label. Idk, if you're comfortable answering, I'm curious whether anything I've said resonated with you and, if it does, why exactly you finally made the leap to come out as Agender? P. S. I have no interest taking people's gendered joy away from them and respect any pronoun choices. My personal view on the whole thing though is that... I just don't understand externalizing one's understanding of oneself to a societally-produced and maintained conception of a way a person must/should or even could be. It feels like saying there's a target out there someone put up, and you're happy on the days you shoot and hit it, potentially miserable on the days you don't, and I just don't get that mechanic. Being whoever you are without an artificial label makes more sense to me. Cool if others don't feel that tho. Would be curious about those viewpoints too.

thank you so much for this video! I've been thinking about gender as a concept a LOT recently, and a lot of what you've said reflects my own thoughts, and it helps me feel like I'm not the only one who thinks this way. At the end of the day, people are people, and I dont see the point of arbitrarily giving people societal categories, roles, or expectations. This often just causes discomfort and stress. Just act and dress the way you want! who cares whats in your pants, whatever makes you feel happy, loved, or attractive is enough. Happy pride everyone! ❤❤❤

I'm so happy for you love. Keep slaying it. I loved your Eva video, and I'll check out your others when I can (bc spoilers) I'd love to see a video on other similar topics to your thoughts of gender, and going more in depth, or discussing more of other such weird and abstract thoughts, as I always love to hear what you have to say Congratulations!

7:13 Maybe circular logic? It isn’t manly because it is not something men usually wear. And man don’t wear it usually because it’s not manly?

@KaiAfterKai

12 күн бұрын

Yeah I think this is what I was getting at. Thanks!

@VivaLaAntifa3

12 күн бұрын

@@KaiAfterKai Anyways great video. Thanks for making me think about this topic.

I’ve been feeling like this for so long! Gender and the way society uses it with fashion sucks! Great video, can relate to a lot of what you’re saying

i just want to say that this is the first video of yours I have seen, and I love your whole morbius meets Idris Elba vibe. I definitly will be watching more of your videos in the future.

Hey, I just wanna mention that I love your voice! Even when talking about a heavy topic like this, your voice is very soothing. Plus, being trans and having enby friends myself, it's nice to know this perspective. So thanks!

Okay, but what does that change? If you wear a skirt people are still gonna view you as a man. What ever you identify as has 0 impact on how others see you anyway.

Postgender is definitely a more succinct term then what I would say with, "The myth of masculinity/femininity." Stories we tell ourselves that gender objects and practices that are irrelevant to sex. I started my postgender thinking after studying Simone de Beauvoir's The Second Sex. Essentially that if things completely unrelated to sex can be associated with a sex, and are increasingly done so culturally and individually regardless of inherent contradictions, then one finding gender-euphoria with any given association is just finding that which matches self-image. Masculinity and Femininity are merely broad, social categories of people asserting different gendered norms, and people responding to conform to those norms so as to have their self-image related to gendered things affirmed by others. Linguistically, a lot of people are at different places with even the word "Gender" as well. Some still use it as it was used decades ago to refer only to sex. Whereas some have advanced the usage of the term so far that they've forgotten it was being used as a short-hand for the term "gender identity." I've bounced back and forth with whether I should identify as non-binary because I have this philosophical belief that all associations with gender on a social/cultural level ultimately cannot overwrite what an individual feels is correct for themselves. However, when i interrogate how I want to represent myself, I intuitively see myself as a man. I just want anything I do to be defined as masculine by virtue of my doing it. And am equally comfortable that a woman doing exactly the same thing and wanting it to be feminine by virtue of her doing it should also be equally true. Every-gendered this is any-gendered thing, so long as it resonates with how a person sees themselves.

To be honest, this video kinda made me think about my gender identity. So thanks a lot for opening my eyes.

It's really nice to hear someone who thinks more or less exactly how I feel about it. I don't feel quite so strongly about it as to identify as anything else, but I've always consistently complained about men's fashion. It's boring. I suppose I don't have much room to speak (flannels forever), but I've often thought that, if perhaps I were a little bolder, I'd be stuck in vintage dresses for the next several years.

i watched this whole video imagining the reflection of the ring light in their glasses were pupils

I thought this was just gonna be a video about some guy venting about society treats men and wanted to comment the egg emoji to do a little bit of trolling but seeing a video about self discovery is a nice change

@TNTo1

12 күн бұрын

Also not forcing stereotypes on yourself is hella based

@KaiAfterKai

12 күн бұрын

You're not the first person to mention this. I wasn’t intending to mimick those kinds of videos, but I mean, if it gets people to click on it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Thanks for watching 👍🏽

When i watched the first two mins i was like the egg is so obviously cracking haha you titled the chapter perfectly All in all great video Kai, i feel exactly like you do. Happy pride 💛🤍💜🖤

I suddenly noticed the ring light reflections and now I can't stop seeing them as your pupils