I hope you all enjoyed the video. Let me know what helped you figure out you're non-binary!

@jadapinkyjoseph5254

2 жыл бұрын

I'm non-binary and yes I question my gender

@godseed7984

2 жыл бұрын

You helped me figure out I'm not. But didn't think I was. Although you did raise a lot more questions. I hope you read my comment and perhaps address my questions in a future video.

@darengardner9351

2 жыл бұрын

thank you for this video the way you explaned how non binary people experiance life has helped me understand my friend erin and what they has to deal with on a daily basis i have always supported erin and after watching your videos i understand erins situation better and hopefully be even more supportive

@SM-fk7tf

2 жыл бұрын

@@jadapinkyjoseph5254 non binary isn’t a real thing, you can be born a man or woman, nothing else. If you ever question your gender, look inbetween your legs. You’ll then arrive on planet earth!

@arolemaprarath6615

2 жыл бұрын

@@jadapinkyjoseph5254 same but I'm a pig. I identify as a pig. It means I am exempted from taxes, bills, etc If you insist, the you are a bigotted animal abuser.

I'm cisgender, and I've never questioned my identity. I've always felt like a girl/woman (even though I went through a little bit of a "tomboy" period as a kid), I've always identified as female. I watch these videos mainly to understand other people better and their experiences, so thank you for sharing. 💗

@InfuzeDcyphR

Жыл бұрын

You're awesome as an ally.

@VanessaMarieBooks

Жыл бұрын

@@InfuzeDcyphR I try. 😊 I wish more people would too. This world could be a lot better for everyone if people tried to understand and respect others rather than acting out of fear & trying to control.

@lovefist86

Жыл бұрын

Well you can't feel like something you've never been. That's my confusion with trans and nb people.

@VanessaMarieBooks

Жыл бұрын

@@lovefist86 Have you tried talking with trans and/or nb people and listen to how they feel?

@myplaylist7007

Жыл бұрын

Your a woman, not a cis ( Cyst ? )

The pronoum thing is complicated to me because my main language does not have a neutral pronoum so I need to pick one, so I just go with the male one for simplicity, but I love using "they" in english

@HermayonieHernandez

Жыл бұрын

Same

@HermayonieHernandez

Жыл бұрын

Btw i use she/they pronouns but people can use any pronouns im chill about it

@KatGhostDrawz

Жыл бұрын

same-

@9-VoltGaming

Жыл бұрын

@Philip Kirby The generic argument of "there's only 2 genders" doesn't really invalidate non binary people because being non binary isn't really a gender, is the lack of one. Calling it a gender is like calling Atheism a religion so... You take a class now. Plus even going with biology, gender and sex are two different things even in biology.

@1Jason

Жыл бұрын

The pronoun stuff is a load of nonscence.

"Just wanting to be seen as me" Hit the nail on the head. This is how I've been thinking about myself for the longest time. Not a man, not a woman, just me. Really validating to hear it from someone else

@Lisa-pw2he

Жыл бұрын

I have ruthlessly felt this way since I was about 5 years old. "Just wanting to be seen as me." And rejecting male and female stereotypes. People tell me I'm beautiful, and I think to myself, "What does that have to do with anything. That's nothing to do with who I am." See, that's the key; we are all simply individuals, but it doesn't change the fact that we are born with XX or Xy chromosomes and therefore female or male. This "non-binary" is just artifice covering for feeling uncomfortable with oneself and with conventional society. We don't need to make up words in order to be different than the norm. The truth is that humanity is filled with infinite expressions of self. But denying reality is, also, not helpful.

@mayanose7875

Жыл бұрын

That’s just what I feel like. I just see people as people not genders. I don’t see myself as gender either. Wow I’m non binary.

@queenofspiders

Жыл бұрын

Okay I just “feel like me” but don’t need to go around demanding that others perceive me how I want to be perceived, you can be who you are without demanding compliance from others.

@lynx9704

Жыл бұрын

Nobody can see you juat as "you". What's wrong in being a man or woman? Nothing!

@lynx9704

Жыл бұрын

@@Lisa-pw2he And coincidentally, only non europeans " feel this way" , since they're not brainwashed with idiotic propaganda that is there to help them wipe themselves out of existence.

The playing dress up thing actually applies to me more than the others. I enjoy dressing feminine because it highlights my body, but other times I feel really uncomfortable with it. It wouldn't be as bad if I has a more masc body.

@little_pretty_little_dead

9 ай бұрын

Exactly! This is what I came here to say! Kindred spirits!

@thebrutaljudge9883

7 ай бұрын

it just means (LIKE ALL THE PEOPLE IN THE WORLD) that sometimes you feel more at ease with yourself and some other times not !..... nothing else..... everybody sometimes feel hotter than some other day and it has nothing to do with being a female or a male..... + stop comparing yourself to others and you'll start feeling WAY BETTTTEER !!!!!

@EggsToYourBacon

7 ай бұрын

@@little_pretty_little_dead kindred spirits!!

@Luciana_McC_99

5 ай бұрын

​@@little_pretty_little_dead I wish I had a kindred spirit.

I questioned my gender for many years. In reality, I am cisgender ! The problem wasn't about my gender but about another difference : my autism. So I had the impression to not be a woman and neither a man because I felt different.

@biohead66

2 жыл бұрын

More ppl must acknowledge this.

@dropdeadjuno

2 жыл бұрын

I feel like this could play a big part in my gender journey. I’ve always just accepted she/her and being called a girl/female because it’s “just what I was.” Relating to your comment- I also want an autism diagnosis, since there is a high chance I have that. But in a way, I think being autistic has helped me feel less “normative” anyways and that it makes it feel easier to be more me instead of stuffing myself into a box

@sundaysims

2 жыл бұрын

i think my neurodivergent traits have made me look at the world differently, i don’t really understand the gender binary like a neurotypical would so it would make sense that i don’t relate or see myself fitting in to a binary - it is simply incompatible with how my brain perceives society and the world. i’ve always just been >this

@nova4476

2 жыл бұрын

@sundaysims i relate to this so much!! getting doctors to take me seriously is an uphill battle being AFAB. but i think it definitely has a lot to do with the way i perceive the concept of gender. i just don’t understand it and i don’t feel drawn to any particular label.

@gulpispulp

Жыл бұрын

I have OCD and I’m trying to figure out if I’m experiencing intrusive thoughts or if this is who I am lol

As a kid I hated when my mum would force me into a dress. Not because of the way I looked but because of the way I was expected to act when I was wearing one. I suddenly had to be quiet, well behaved and be extra polite to everyone despite my feelings towards them. My brothers never had to go through this, they still got to run around and have fun like I would if I was wearing pants. I hated being treated differently because of my gender and have people think I was physically inferior. So when I was 22 I moved out of home for work in another city and I started living how I wanted to away from my family and it was an incredibly freeing experience. I started looking in the mirror and not see a female looking back. It's taken some time, but I'm finally feeling comfortable with my non binary identity to start coming out to people.

@ServusChristi777

Жыл бұрын

You are still just female.

@ServusChristi777

Жыл бұрын

@Jay Blue I understand that you will not give up your delusion, but it doesn't change reality.

@andrea446

Жыл бұрын

It sounds like she distorted your view of what a woman should be like and that's why you're questioning whether you are one. There are so many ways of being a man or woman. Just dressing a certain way and not being quiet and polite doesn't make you a different gender (im not a transphobe because im trans myself)

@mysryuza

3 ай бұрын

Oof that hit close to home a little bit

I remember when I stopped shaving my legs/underarms, and one of the first things my mom asked is if I was "making a statement" or what have you. It's a mix of "Having my natural hair grow out feels better", and "Men don't have to shave their body, why the hell do I need to?". I'm still trying to figure out if I'm NB or just GNC. There's something so comforting and liberating about styling myself in the way that I want, that makes me feel comfortable, happy, and confident.

@DarthLesbian

Жыл бұрын

omfg, deciding you dont feel like shaving doesn't make you NB for fucks sake

@slaybotcom

Жыл бұрын

@@DarthLesbian why don't you let them explore themselves in peace?

@DarthLesbian

Жыл бұрын

@@slaybotcom What’s to explore? The depths of their naval? If you want peace dont post your stupidity in public forums

@nforne

Жыл бұрын

@@slaybotcom It’s difficult to watch young girls clutching at the lifeline being offered to them by cultists on the non-binary boat, when we know they'd turn out perfectly fine without it. All they have to do is be themselves, dress however they want, shave or not shave, make-up or no make-up, and not worry about new fads like pronouns, labels and identities. They'll be fine. Honestly.

@yochiartz2839

Жыл бұрын

im sorry but “making a statement” got me dying cuz my mom keeps questioning y im “rebelling” to what makes a women 😭

I actually realized that I often feel uncomfortable with people talking about me with she/her pronouns. At first, I thought it was just because I generally feel uncomfortable with people talking about me in third person, but then again, when they use my name, it actually feels more ... right. It acutally baffles me that I can somehow relate to all these signs.

@user-fr1fi1uy1z

2 жыл бұрын

@@amberrose2597 ???

@sheasolo8507

2 жыл бұрын

You're just a spoke as well.

@liviwaslost

2 жыл бұрын

@@amberrose2597 oh shut up.

@simkitties2727

2 жыл бұрын

@@snorlaxxxxxxxxxr Can SOMEONE explain how its weird /nm

@snorlaxxxxxxxxxr

2 жыл бұрын

@@simkitties2727 alright explain this to me, how can someone feel uncomfortable when other people are using their biological pronouns? you don’t hear someone use your pronouns because if the other person was talking to you directly they WOULD use your name…. pronouns are used when that person isn’t present in the room. that is one of the many reasons why this is all ridiculous

The two biggest signs for me were 1) I felt really odd in public bathrooms. Every time I’d go into the women’s restroom I’d feel terrified for no reason and not come out until everyone else in the bathroom was gone. I was so scared that someone would call me out for being in the wrong bathroom, even though I was to all the world a woman. I subconsciously knew I didn’t belong there. 2) I always felt too feminine to be “one of the boys”, despite desperately wanting to be. But at the same time I felt way too masculine to be “one of the girls”. Whenever I was with a group of women I felt so manly by comparison that I felt like an outsider. But I felt the reverse with all my guy friends. It’s very frustrating.

@illusrin

2 жыл бұрын

Same. I'm afab and still trying to figure out how I want to present, because feminine things are very comforting to me but I know I'm not a girl or boy. It makes me uncomfortable when people read me as a girl but I don't want to be read as a boy because that isn't who I am either. It's frustrating how people see feminine as = girl :(

@elfieinblack4618

2 жыл бұрын

@@illusrin I totally get it dude. Im afab too. If it makes you feel better, your presentation doesn’t matter almost at all to cis people. If you’re afab non-binary they’ll still call you “she/her/ma’am”, no matter how well you pass/how andro you present (or at least that’s my experience. I’m super andro and I’ve never had anyone not default to she/her). I think cis people have some sort of super power where they can tell right away your assigned gender and never forget it or get past it. So dress however you want, you’ll get misgendered either way! 😂😭 In all seriousness, I feel for you. It’s a struggle for sure. So far the best solution I’ve found is pronoun pins. If people don’t respect your pronouns even when they’re literally spelled out for them then those people are just rude. Good luck friend

@calligrace82

2 жыл бұрын

I remember getting to middle school and thinking when I went to the girls bathroom that is was in the boys. I felt so off and I would always get scared to go.

@cheezesmoker8851

2 жыл бұрын

@@illusrin you are either a girl or boy, theres no question i can feel like an apache helicopter and "identify" as one. Does that magically make me a helicoptwr and not a human male? Hope u sort your head out and get in reality at some point

@godseed7984

2 жыл бұрын

Well public restrooms are dirty and dangerous places. I suspect NO ONE feels comfortable in them. Why did you want to be one of the boys in the first place?

As someone who either didn't experience disphoria (or wasn't aware of it), the two biggest signs to me were: 1. Being obsessed with queer representation and content in all forms. I always kind of wished I was gay because things would have made more sense, lol. But being femme/androgynous attracted, that never fit. Turns out it's because I'm nonbinary and queer. 2. Gender euphoria!

@lynnsaga1397

2 жыл бұрын

Yes! Both of these are big signs and I definitely think there needs to be a bigger conversation around gender euphoria ☺️

@eleonorguanipa

2 жыл бұрын

Why is this me?

@quittedmakinganewchannel.7095

2 жыл бұрын

69 likes

@Kaidoezthings

2 жыл бұрын

When I found out Non Binary & Androgyne was a thing, I wished that was me because it seemed to fit me. But I felt like it wasn't me because I was a girl. And that was it. But then I started to look into more stuff, and now I realize that I'm Non Binary. I also prefer looking Androgynous. ;3

@clouddy4836

2 жыл бұрын

Is being obsessed with queer representation rly a sign!? I’m bisexual but I’ve especially recently been quite obsessed with researching abt trans and non-binary idk I hate being a woman but mostly just because if drama, periods, sexism, etc. I’ve also hated my boobs and tried two bra binding but I feel like that’s just me being self conscious

Wow, I never thought of the whole "dress-up" feeling as being a non-binary thing before, but now it seems like it should have been so obvious! Wearing formal attire has always felt uncomfortable and awkward for me because it's so gendered. Even if I like how I look I always fee like I'm pretending to be someone I'm not.

@BlackRoyalty-hh8tb

Жыл бұрын

I feel the same way

@AnnabethOwl

Жыл бұрын

Yea I feel the same way… I recently just told my uncles girlfriend(it seems weird but I told her because I don’t see her that often and she was the most supportive of what ever I did). I wrote a story about me being lesbian and I made the main character dysphoric. She said she can help me get a chest binder without my parents knowing❤. It took me so long to find out because I don’t remember much of my childhood but I remember my parents never cared about gender so they let me get a pixie cut and they let me get masculine clothing. It wasn’t until puberty that I started feeling really uncomfortable and the 6th grade locker room, oh my lord…. That was a disaster I wanted to run, I dreaded gym because of the locker room. I still don’t know how to tell my parents though.

@katelyngochenour8019

Жыл бұрын

"Even if I like how I look I always feel like I'm pretending to be someone I'm not." This really resonates with me. I actually wrote that down and am going to bring the quote to therapy because it explains how I feel so well. Thank you!

@SRHisntSilent

7 ай бұрын

Oml I felt like that for so long Now I dress how I feel

@user-mj6rj4gb3g

6 ай бұрын

Just don't wear formal attire Unless forced to and then don't.

I completely related to the "dress up" part and the body dysmorphia part. I remember as a kid I would always wonder why I had to wear a dress to church when some kids wore pants and a shirt and when I was told it was bc I was a girl, it always felt so off for some reason. It was also in my junior year of hs, I was trying on dresses for a school dance and I just genuinely didn't think I should have been wearing a dress. And everytime my mom had me wear a new one I just felt more and more out of my body, and I ended up just settling on one I liked enough to wear. Took me 4 years later till now to realize that I just want people to stop associating me as a girl. it's still hard to come to terms with but I'm trying not to feel disappointed with myself about it.

@user-mj6rj4gb3g

6 ай бұрын

For my grade 6 leavers my ex-mother tryed to force me to wear a dress i argued that I wanted to wear a suit instead, and in the end I went to my grade 6 leavers wearing a half suit half skirt and the idea of killing my self and bitchy teacher for the 8th time that month. Worst year of my life.

I've just started questioning my gender after years of repressing my discomfort as a woman. Like having a chest makes me feel really wrong and I've never been able to dress how I want because of it, and I've just never really been overly feminine in general. Putting on makeup and doing my hair and looking pretty always felt so fake. I'm not sure if I'm NB or trans but this video really helped validate a lot of my experiences growing up and now. Also fun fact, did you know that women actually like having boobs?? Cause I didn't know that, I thought everyone felt the way I did, but my sisters and mother are totally comfortable with their feminine features 😱💜

@Exeszs

Жыл бұрын

I hope you get help. You are just you, no need to mutilate your body or identify as something you are not. There are an infinite number of personalities on this planet. By the way, there are a lot of women who don't like having boobs.... this is complete nonsense.

@andjelkozlotvor

Жыл бұрын

Adolescence is a complicated time in a person’s life, dominated by physical and psychological changes. A teenager’s social life can become a source of drama when complexes during adolescence begin to emerge. These complexes are also the result of emotional factors. In addition to the sudden changes in a teenager’s body, the psychological factor of insecurity plays an important role. All of this is exacerbated by the media, who sell young people an ideal image of physical perfection. At this age, boys and girls are very sensitive to the demands imposed by family, the media, and social life. These variables, when combined with their own set of expectations, lead to feelings of doubt, fear and worry. The most common complexes during adolescence As anyone can see, the media sells young people on unattainable physical ideals that can be unrealistic and even dangerous. Girls in particular are susceptible to body weight issues, which are sometimes the result of the extreme thinness they see in celebrities. Meanwhile, boys feel pressure to become more muscular. Similarly, they also absorb ideas about what makes for an attractive face, including a small nose, perfect white teeth, and beautiful skin. Young people become convinced that you need to be “sexy” in order to “be someone.” The list continues with qualities like height and clothing, going on ideas received from Hollywood and the world of advertising. As a result, failure to live up to these empty standards can cause real distress among adolescents. It’s normal for a teenager to be an individualist, since it’s the time of life when people start defining their personalities. Their minds are preparing to exercise independence and build a future for themselves. Complexes During Adolescence: Why They Emerge Seeing the signs Parents and teachers should pay close attention to how adolescents behave. Taken to an extreme, their concern with meeting the aforementioned physical standards can cause significant frustration and suffering. The typical signs of complexes during adolescence include excessive shyness, bad moods, aggressiveness, sadness, and apathy. Being attentive to these signs will allow you to understand the problem and address the changes they’re experiencing with empathy. “Complexes are the results of emotional factors. In addition to the sudden changes in a teenager’s body, the psychological factor of insecurity plays an important role.”

@astluna

Жыл бұрын

PEOPLE LIKE HAVING BOOBS?!?!??!?!?!! WTF

@DSS712

11 ай бұрын

Hi there, I'm sorry that there have been factors in your life/community that have led you to feel this way about your gender. From a stranger on the internet who probably had a much different life experience and community than you did, I want to clear up a few misconceptions in your comment: 1. Doing one's hair and makeup is not related to being a woman. Women can have short hair or low maintenance hair, and not ever do make up, and they are still valid, normal women. I know many women who are like this. 2. Liking your boobs is not normal or standard for being a woman or being cis. Every woman feels differently about their boobs. This is also normal. Speaking for myself personally, I used to hate my chest as well, but after finding a healthy partner I realized that a lot of my previous insecurities were coming from unrealistic standards that were pushed on me by a variety of factors. I'm in my 30s and have come to wholly accept my droopy uneven gals, as they are just a part of who I am. I live in a country where bath houses are common, and since going to them I have gained a lot more confidence in my body and my womanhood. The room is always full of dozens of women, hair tied up or natural, no makeup, no jewelry, just real, raw women. The media tends to only show us a very specific view of womanhood, but I have now seen with my own eyes that women come in literally all shapes and sizes. It's a beautiful thing!

@lynx9704

10 ай бұрын

@@DSS712 The media is corrupt and trashes and supports the destruction of femininity. Stop talking utter garbage, you sound clueless as if you've never seen a woman behave naturally in your entire life.

I just dont know aye? Somedays I want to were a skirt and look feminine but a lot o the time I just wear dark androgynous clothing and that feels more like who I am. Thinking back i never felt like i was a girl, i had a pink bike as a kid and i really didn't like it and i would always dress in green and blue and didnt like girly clothes and when I'm with a group of women outside of my immediate freind group i dont feel comfortable and I dont feel like i belong and I really hate it when people call me femine or call me a young woman or things like that. What if I dont want to be a woman. The fourth sign, wanting to be seen as yourself not your gender hit me deep and thats kinda how I've been thinking about myself and my gender identity in my head. I think I will change to she/they pronouns, try it out. I haven't before because there are so many labels that i think i could be and most of them feel right in some ways but I actually just dont have to label my gender. Thank you so much for making these videos Lynn, you've really helped me to realise that I'm asexual and probly also non-binary.

@Melotinecookies

2 жыл бұрын

Hi I just found this video myself (yay gender crisis) have you ever heard or gender fluid? It means to fluctuate between gender- any gender! Weather girl boy or in between!! I recommend looking into it

@letter_o_hyphen_letter_o

2 жыл бұрын

I'd say if androgyny is the way you want to be seen, go for it. That's what I'm doing.

@Dude-dx5ns

2 жыл бұрын

Your gender isn't all that important. Clothing does not define it and not wanting to be a typical girl does not mean you need a new gender

@im_a_washing_machine582

2 жыл бұрын

Some other people are saying this but have you heard of gender-fluid? If you see this. How is it going?

@M4lici0us

2 жыл бұрын

EXACTLY

The one that really sold it to me is the fact that I just want people to see me as *me*. I first felt this when a friend of mine was designing a character to resemble me and asked the question “do you want them to be a girl or a boy?” My immediate response was “I just want them to be like me.” This was before I even started questioning my gender!

@Mel-wn9gb

3 ай бұрын

Welcome to the club, where all of humanity is just themselves. So explain how that makes you 'nonbinary', given that you're no different from anyone else?

Could you make a video about signs that you might be a demigirl? Even though I am a cis girl and comfortable with she/her pronouns(in fact I always tell myself it’s her/she like the chocolate, just for the giggled), I have been questioning this for quite some time. Or if not any videos that I could watch on this topic? Thanks for this and have a nice day!

I'm pretty comfortable with my gender identity, but I'm trying to better understand those that are nonbinary. Plus your smile made me smile!

@jeanv1352

Жыл бұрын

Good luck! 😀😀😀

@eggbath595

Жыл бұрын

kzread.info/dash/bejne/gJd4wcWilcq7Yrg.html be uncomfy 😟

I never really explored my gender identity but once I did I realized that I was non-binary and now every time someone says she/her I feel it in my gut like a gentle punch

@mantralibre1367

Жыл бұрын

How would you want people to address you? They address you the way you look, probably. They're not there to hurt you, i mean. They are just busy. Sex is a perception in somebody else's eyes. And i use sex because most people will always see people as male, or female. Even transexuals. Male or female transexuals.

@jeanv1352

Жыл бұрын

@@mantralibre1367 And funny enough all people ARE either male or female.

@grrgrrgrr0202

Жыл бұрын

Kind of highlights why this gender ID crap actually isn't helpful at all.

@albertogutierrez8653

Жыл бұрын

The problem is not other people. The problem is you. People are not obligated to cooperate in your illusions.

@chrissmith7563

6 ай бұрын

get therapy. there's too much goddamn stigma about it still

I’m in my early 50s, and I’m so grateful for channels Like yours to help me make sense of most of my life when the language we have now didn’t exist. Neither did the availability of resources to learn about differences in gender identity or the exposure to others like ourselves. I’ve only had the language to start to understand my queer identity these past four years. The agony I experienced growing up expected to act like a girl and wear dresses from my mom just pissed me off. I, too, went through a more feminine phase briefly in high school, but I have always been attracted to more “weird” fashion trends having been influenced by punk, the wild stylings of the 80s, goth, and grunge. I was also diagnosed autistic four years ago and learning a lot of us in the spectrum identify as NB or GNC makes so much sense for understanding myself and past struggles. I just discovered your channel and will definitely be catching up on content. I’m not sure where my journey of discovery will end, and that doesn’t really matter because I’m starting g to love and accept myself as is. Thanks again ❤

I find it ironic how this video came up first when I’m starting to doubt myself. I went through the similar experience as starting off using gender fluid and then felt more comfortable using non-binary. I personally prefer the term queer but I’ll still use non-binary if people are specifically curious about my identity. I’m quite comfortable with either she/he/they pronouns and I was in a pretty comfortable space for awhile, but lately I’ve been almost gaslighting myself I guess? As someone who’s assigned FMAB I’ve been struggling a lot lately with my femininity, and sometimes when I walk past women I feel almost ashamed that I’m not this fully shaven, long haired individual who’s wearing a lovely dress or a cute skirt. It just messes with my head and I start asking whether I’m just pretending to be NB, but the thought of identifying as a woman just physically doesn’t feel right. On top of that I’ve been dealing with thoughts like ‘What if no one wants to be in a relationship with you because you’re not a woman? You have to look like one if you want love, if you deserve it. Maybe you should wax your body again so you’re more attractive.’. It’s mentally exhausting and I feel so lost and alone. I know it’s just me overthinking but it’s still upsetting to experience. Sometimes I wish I never addressed my feelings towards the binary, because maybe then it would have been easier and in some fucked up way I would be ‘better’ and more palatable to society if I wasn’t me. I’m currently not very open about my NB identity, compared to sexuality there is still a long way to go before it’s seen as something as common as being gay. However, this video helped remind me that I’m valid as I am and if people choose to not even associate with me for simply being myself then I’m better off without people like that. It’s still hard navigating who I am especially since my gender expression varies from being fluid to androgynous. Even though gender expression and gender identity aren’t the same it can still be invalidating when who you are and how you want to look doesn’t fit what society has deemed ‘right’. Thank you for the comfort the video brought. ❤️ Hope everyone is doing okay 🌸 Hug 4 u 🫂💞🏳️‍🌈

@cheezesmoker8851

2 жыл бұрын

Alls this video has done has made you a weaker stranger person who actively seeks out whatever they want to believe at the time based on your feelings, you are either born a male or female period. It doesnt matter what you feel like at all, your either male or female

@lisettex123

2 жыл бұрын

@@cheezesmoker8851 Asking out of curiosity… how would you personally classify people who were born as intersex?

@winterlove9892

2 жыл бұрын

I can relate so much to the "you have to look like a woman if you want love" part. I'm so scared that boys doesn't want to date me because I look too masculine or people in general if I look and say I'm NB, this is so hard and now that I read your comment I don't feel so lonely. now I know there's more people in the same situation. I hope everything gets better for u! pd: I don't speak English so I'm sorry if I spelled something wrong.

@cheezesmoker8851

2 жыл бұрын

@@winterlove9892 you should be worried about it

@winterlove9892

2 жыл бұрын

@@cheezesmoker8851 oh darling, I really don't care what YOU think but thanks for sharing your opinion with us

Thanks for this video! I've always wondered why it was so wrong for me as a guy to do "feminine" stuff such as shaving my body hair off legs or wear makeup and a necklace even though that seems completely wrong to put a label on it and I've always worn baggy clothes to make my gender ambiguous and why some things were considered "masculine" and "feminine". At first, I thought I was a women stuck in a man's body, but that didn't feel right, because because I never understood why the things I did were feminine even thought they seemed completely normal. This confused me for so long until I realised, "Wait, why am I thinking whether I'm completely a 'man' or 'woman'. Gender is an entire spectrum, it would be wrong to put myself at one extreme end or the other," And now, I think I'd feel more comfortable as just being a person, despite whether I'm masculine or feminine, and never hold my desires back due to social roles and labels.

@devss4982

2 жыл бұрын

Well we share experiences

@koreywitabagg665

2 жыл бұрын

That’s interesting I’m a woman and I’ve always loved masculine things and even though I’ve had feminine traits I’ve always had more masculine traits so I definitely relate to that. Society has made it so if your one particular gender you can’t be a tomboy or a Demi boy without identifying one or the other. I personally believe that just because you act more feminine or masculine doesn’t mean you don’t have to be a boy or a girl. It’s okay to be a Demi girl and tomboy.

@Black-io1uc

Жыл бұрын

Nah dude, you're just a man who likes feminine stuff and that's fine.

@Black-io1uc

Жыл бұрын

@@koreywitabagg665 Prefering masculine things doesn't make you less of a woman.

@ElleBlackk

Ай бұрын

We're basically the same person, lol. 😭😂

Thank you. In the end you mentioned the uncertainty that is just always there, and I feel it too. That is why I thank you, because you've helped me eliminate a great deal of it and you've given me somebody to relate to. So thank you, really. Keep doing what you do.

I recently started questioning my gender after ranting to my friends about gender roles. I hate (for myself - respect it when other people choose to live this way) having to put feminine clothes, being submissive, more emotional than males , expected to marry, have a family and devote my life to my children and my husband, while my beloved husband does barely nothing at home and is free to be himself and pursue his interest outside of work. I crave intellectual bonding with people. I’m not a “she”. I’m a person, my person

@antonscorner

Жыл бұрын

just because you don't conform to gender expectations doesn't mean you're not a woman actually i'm not trying to invalidate you in any way (i'm also questioning myself) but just thought of putting this out there for you to know

@Black-io1uc

Жыл бұрын

That's definitely internalized misogyny. Everything you said is sexist. Talk to a therapist if you can. Disliking what is expected of women, doesn't make you less of a woman. You don't have to do what is expected of you, you can do anything you want and still be a woman.

@myrtila

Жыл бұрын

@@Black-io1uc well, i kind of agree that this doesn't make me less of a woman. I'm generally questioning myself. But how is that misogyny? I never said or insinuated that women are less capable. Elaborate yourself please

@Black-io1uc

Жыл бұрын

@@myrtila Believing that you probably aren't a woman because you don't wish to be and do everything you've listed that is expected from women, when in reality most young women don't want all of that. Suggesting that you can't have an "intellectual bonding with people" as a woman sounded pretty sexist as well.

@Black-io1uc

Жыл бұрын

@E V I never said it was disrespectful or judgemental. The way she sees women doesn't offend me, but it does sounds like internalized misogyny and disliking of gender expectations which is the reason why many young girls want to identify with another gender. Something to consider.

Thank you so much for this video Lynn, it really helped me to understand feelings I have had about my gender identity/ my body image. Watching you is next small step for me to live as my authentic self.

@jamiejosh96

2 жыл бұрын

The irony in that last statement is hilarious

"Trying to find yourself in your reflection." This is so true for me. All my life I felt my body was inconsistent with who I was in my mind. I don't know how to put it but it just felt wrong.

I so agree on that whole thing of feeling uncomfortable when someone tells you that you're turning into such a beautiful young woman. I actually used to throw temper tantrums when I was four and people called me a pretty girl.

@Feisenbach

2 жыл бұрын

Then be an ugly girl, who cares? The point is, you ARE a girl!

@kevinhorry4182

2 жыл бұрын

So your not a girl? You don’t have a v*gina?

@sultanmufleh2905

Жыл бұрын

your the prettiest girl I have ever met

@astolat2262

Жыл бұрын

​@@sultanmufleh2905buzz off troll😊

When I was younger, I always knew something was wrong. It started when I was about ten years old and i wasnt comfortable in she/her pronouns anymore. It was kinda surprising me bc when I was in kindergarten and elementary school i always was very girly and when my grandma picked me up id say "i am so glad i am a girl!" At this time i knew about trans bc i was informing myself in the Internet like all the time bc i wanted to find a label for me. Soon I found out about trans people and was like "Yes, that must be me! I am not comfortable in she/her so that must be me!" At the time i didnt know about non binary or atleast i thought i had to be binary. I watched many trans documentations but somehow i couldnt relate to them. I knew about non binary but like i said i never thought i could identify with it. And when i tried he/him i didnt really feel good with it. It felt better but still not right. Some time goes by and when i was just walking and minding my own business a bloody 7 y o girl asks me "you a boy or a girl??" I didnt want to answer and thats when i realised i was non binary. It was mind blowing and everything finally made sense! Now i go by they them but my ass is still closeted and its also kinda difficult with gender neutral pronouns in germany. Good Luck y all!

@joyeetaghosh2209

11 ай бұрын

Why did she/ her pronoun made you uncomfortable and he / him doesn't I also sometimes don't like doing girly things or feminine things

@XxLucaTheBucaxX

11 ай бұрын

@@joyeetaghosh2209 I don't EXCACTLY know why I just know that its not me.

@joyeetaghosh2209

11 ай бұрын

@@XxLucaTheBucaxX I have a very personal question from you since I'm also trying to find my identity whether your people around disrespect you for just being a girl ar restrict you from doing things bcs that's not what girls do

@joyeetaghosh2209

11 ай бұрын

@@XxLucaTheBucaxX or forced you to do certain girly things which you don't want to do

@joyeetaghosh2209

11 ай бұрын

@@XxLucaTheBucaxX or are do you don't like call you she / her bcs of certain things being associated with being girl or woman

Thanks for Breaking this down, I have been debating whether I am non binary for a long time, it has been incredibly difficult figuring out my sexuality. I have always fought with myself, whether I am a girl or boy. my soul automatically tightens up when I am either too masculine or too feminine, I literally cannot find a balance after my sexual trauma, and at this point I am done fighting with myself.

@oliver6889

2 жыл бұрын

I hope you are doing okay, please take care of yourself. While it may not feel like it, being uncertain of your gender identity and/or sexuality is perfectly okay. Don’t give yourself a hard time for not knowing right now (or ever)

Signs if you nb: 1.You aren't comfortable with gender pronouns 2.You over analyse your body 3.You feeling like playing dress up 4.You just want to be seen as you 5.Questioning your gender (Also,thanks for the video,Lynn,it was very informative :3)

@SpeedStrike

2 жыл бұрын

Uh oh that might be me

i recently came out to my friends as non-binary and hearing people say my real name instead it has felt so good to hear that and it makes me feel so cared for

Thank you for making this video!! This really helped me think. Though, i'm of course still unsure about my identity cause a few years ago I thought I was bisexual but in actuality I really wasn't. So I fear that this time i'll be wrong once again. Not to mention that I don't want the people i trust to judge me if I were Non-binary. Cause i'm still a minor so i fear this is also just a phase?? I don't know, but either way. Thank you for the video!!

@Redddragon

2 жыл бұрын

are you me

That was the big one, where every piece of clothing I put on felt like dress up. My mom and sister growing up were lesbians and I didn't grow up with a father so I always felt more in touch with the girl binary when I was younger and then I spent from 16-22 trying to push those feelings aside and being what my family saw me as. It wasn't until I met my partner that I started even questioning myself. Now, I can wear whatever I want and be who I am however I present at 26 and it took a long time, and I still have a lot of personal questions but these sorts of videos really help validate my feelings when I'm feeling confused. Thank you, Lynn!

@bradchervel5202

Жыл бұрын

Sounds like you were indoctrinated into being whatever it is you claim you are

Thank you so much for this video! I’ve honestly been questioning my gender for a good 3 or 4 months, and this video kind of put some things into perspective (I also have had teensy moments of questioning every once and a while for at least 2 years now, but it hasn’t been prevalent until this year) I relate to a lot of these, especially the “I just wanna be me” part. But im having a difficult time coming to a final decision on this both due to general apathy/disconnect from how I feel about my body (which could either be a sign of non-cis feelings, or it could be the opposite depending on how I interpret that feeling). I’ve been wondering to myself: “do I feel non-binary, or do I just want to not be pressured into traditional gender roles?”, and I have a hard time answering that question. plus I have a fear of rejection if people don’t believe me or understand me, and a fear of making a decision too early and then feeling guilty if I make the wrong decision. While I still haven’t come to a final decision this sure did help!

@Kevin-eq1yc

2 жыл бұрын

Im having a similar problem! Sometimes I don’t know if I’m making things up and being misogynistic, or if I don’t want to accept the fact that I may not be cis. I settled on the term demi-girl, for now.

@iwillloveyoursoulifyourepl5557

2 жыл бұрын

Go to psychiatry it’s called gender dysphoria

@legoshirocha

2 жыл бұрын

Had some similar situations but finding love and just deeply reflecting about myself I knew at the end I’m just a gay man and sometimes I just like to be more feminine and bubbly with my closest friends and my partner and I feel more comfortable being masculine when I’m in public or with family members because I don’t like to call attention and personally being masculine just feels good with me as well. Yes at one point on my 20s I felt conflicted being a man and not expressing my femininity as I wanted to. Today I’m proud to be a man and just because I’m feminine as well doesn’t make me less if a man. Being a man is not about being masculine, it’s so much more. And finally I’m feeling way more at peace with myself day by day 😌✌🏻!!!!

@youngjellyfish8694

2 жыл бұрын

@@legoshirocha thank you for sharing your experiences! It’s great to know that there are other people in the world like me who share similar feelings to me, since it helps me feel less alone, and helps me understand myself a bit better.

@legoshirocha

2 жыл бұрын

@@youngjellyfish8694 glad I helped ☺️!!! Honestly I don’t necessarily understand non binary people, sometimes they contradict themselves the more I watch different point of views but hey if that’s what they want then you do you boo. At one point I really thought I was trans but I did a really well deep self reflection before proceeding forward so at the end I knew I wasn’t trans because unlike trans I never suffered dysphoria as a kid, honestly I was just being a kid I just didn’t worry about gender but I did have some feminine gestures and I thing that was an early sign I was a gay boy 😅. But my dysphoria only showed until my late teens, then I became gender fluid and at the end after my 25 and with some help I just realized I’m just a gay men who is feminine yet masculine and that will never make me less of a man. It’s the toxic mentality and ideology of the alpha male what is wrong and I try to disassociate with people like that. I’m happy a gay men wether being masculine and hairy or feminine and wear make up at times. Trust me at least for me accepting my body just the way it is, it just helped a lot with the nonsense and unnecessary confusion.

I remember it all started for me on one summer vacation i spend in a small strict religious village as a child (where my parents were born). I was confronted with the typical male/female stereotypes and it just felt so terribly wrong to me. I questioned if I was maybe trans or if I just wanted the same rights for women as there were for men or was I just weird... I just didn't understand why women were considered as the service staff for men, we didn't even chose the gender we were born with. It just never made sense to me. And every year I had to deal with all that stuff like as a girl you have to wear a pretty dress, you have to act polite, you have to cook and serve the men of the family and so on. Today I'm 23 yers old and I would still consider myself as a woman but I really don't care about my pronouns or anything, I just wanna be able to wear what I want and if I can't be myself I'm simply not going on that damn wedding, birthday or anything else.

Except for number 1 (kind of), 100% vibe with the rest. After confronting my own feelings and the disconnect I felt between my assigned gender and what *I* wanted, I came to the conclusion that I'm NB on my own. I spent a long long time thinking about it, and opened myself to the possibility. Approaching so many feelings and behaviours from the angle of "Could this mean I'm non-binary?" really opened my eyes to myself. Being AMAB, for my entire life it seemed that what mattered was *appearing* like a "man", avoiding anything "feminine" not because I didn't have interest, but because that would make me "girly", the opposite of "manly", and therefore bad. Moving out, having time to myself, and making friends with completely new people has afforded me so much space to explore myself for me. I can finally express more of my "feminine" traits, and have wound up in the middle. Neither stereotypically masculine or feminine, and most importantly, purely ME. I no longer make judgements on myself or my interests based on the gender binary we're presented with, I just do what I want. And I'm much happier, and excited for the future because of it. I just searched "non-binary" to look for a video like this, and it only solidified my identity. Thank you. BRB gonna cry (also I have almost the exact same mole on the right side of my face, mine is just a bit closer to the nose so I found that pretty funny) EDIT: What really 'flipped the switch' so to speak, for me, was seeing/learning about the character "Testament" from Guilty Gear. Suddenly I found myself really REALLY resonating with a character in a way I haven't with any other media, and I explored why.

Honestly, this video should have more views haha. I was questioning what does non-binary even mean and now I see the points that you made in the video, I finally understand. It's more focused on you as the identity, not the "masculine" or "feminine" identites that people usually associate with genders. It's more of classing you and what YOU want to be. Thank you for this enlightening video. Btw, although as of right now I categorize myself as a male, I can relate this to myself about having my own identity because I wouldn't say I'm very masculine, but I am not completely feminine either. I don't mind being called a he though, but that doesn't mean others are in the same situation as me, hence the non-binary group. I will start to adapt to calling people by they/them. Again, thank you for answering my questions. You earned a sub 👍

@DarthLesbian

Жыл бұрын

So basically exactly the same as ALL men and women who just act like they want without worrying about what society says 😂 Only you have to pretend it makes you special somehow.

@duelmasteryuya1205

Жыл бұрын

@@DarthLesbian Yeah I can see what you mean. Telling others that you are something special, such as a non-binary, could be seen as something stupid since many men and women want to be themselves and yet they don't need a special name to be called by. I commend those that don't need to pretend that they are special. But sometimes, being exactly who you are while also being a part of a group that are in the same boat as you, why not be known as a non-binary? It's the truth after all. Besides, not everyone that are proud to be themselves also have a problem with gender. There's Trans men and women, and those people are fine in the mainstream to exist. Not everyone that wants to express themselves are Trans, so why is being known as a non-binary change that? Sure there are people that just want attention, and having a grain of salt for every piece of information is smart, but that doesn't mean you can dismiss everyone because some people ARE what they say they are. I've said my piece.

@duelmasteryuya1205

Жыл бұрын

Oop they deleted their comment as soon as I posted mine. Welp I guess they felt bad or something.

#3 hits me hard... "Playing dress up" is totally what it felt like. And what helped me figure out I'm non-binary is that I tended to like (and wanted to be like) nonbinary anime characters XD

@lynnsaga1397

2 жыл бұрын

Honestly I should’ve know when all the characters I loved as a child were androgynous and/or cross dressed lol

@jamiejosh96

2 жыл бұрын

So you didn’t like stereotypical women’s clothes……. Still female. It’s called style

@mightynel

2 жыл бұрын

man, these anime kids. its always you guys that are changing your gender to chicken sandwiches and candy wrappers

@liviwaslost

2 жыл бұрын

I’ve always felt like that when I went to church. Instead of wearing a dress I went for the more comfortable option of wearing a blouse and jeans.

I wonder what womanhood really is. Wearing dresses? To me, it's just my organs, and I see as sexism all these expectations that we should all want to be princesses and be bad at math.

@DarthLesbian

Жыл бұрын

@@SpockLover27 No such thing as assigned sex, just observed sex 😂🤡

@DarthLesbian

Жыл бұрын

@@SpockLover27 I cant help that delusional people exist bro 😂

@DarthLesbian

Жыл бұрын

@@SpockLover27 Oh no fake made up people in a fake fictional story my life is ruined! Oh wait… 😂👋

I remember when I was younger I'd ask my mom how she knew my dad was the one, she said she just knew. I later, when I started realizing I didn't feel attraction towards anyone, asked my mom how she knew she liked guys, she said she just knew. Even later I was questioning womanhood and she said she "felt" like a woman. But I don't understand that. I've never "felt" like a gender, they don't matter to me (I of course respect other people's pronouns). When I found out what an asexual was, I thought "I'm still young, even if that matches me right now, it won't in the future" (influence from media expecting heteronormativity). Later I found out what an aromantic was, and it resonated with me, and I guess I know what my mom meant when she said she "felt straight". I started seriously questioning my gender literally just a few days ago, and this resonates with me. I never thought I'd come out online before coming out to my family (if I'll even do that), but non-binary aroace seems to fit quite well. And the community seems really nice too. Thanks for the assistance.

@Black-io1uc

Жыл бұрын

It's actually extremely common for our generation (if you're gen z or millenial) to question their gender. Most people don't "feel" their gender, they just accept what they were born with and live their lifes. Not "feeling" your gender, doesn't mean that you must be something else, it's normal.

@gendernotfound1994

Жыл бұрын

I'm glad you figured out who you are!

@mrknarf4438

Жыл бұрын

It's good you've found a place you feel well, but don't stop questioning - what you feel changes over time, and if you get too attached to a label and a community and start making it part of your personality it can stick with you even if your heart ever tells you otherwise. Look for good people, look for their character, not the way they label themselves.

@Josephine_de_Beauharnais1763

Жыл бұрын

@Mr Knarf I know that. I always question myself and my identity. It's just really nice to know I'm not some weirdo, and other people also feel how I feel. If I ever feel something different, cool. I thought I was pan or bi before, and I found something more comfortable now. Labels are like clothes, I'll keep trying on different ones till I find one that fits, or I'll stitch an already made one or make a whole new outfit. It just depends on how I feel. Flexibility is important. Willingness to accept new ideas and concepts is what allows for progress. I try to keep that in mind when going about conceptualizing complex topics like human identity

Me: Listening with full attention *Cat walks into frame* Me: Looses all attention 😍 *Cat leaves* Me: Full attention again *Cat comes back* Me: Desperately tries to not get distracted... Fails

A lot of these new comments are people who fundamentally are ignorant about biology and sociology. You have people confusing the two, people asserting sex or intersex isn't bimodal, you have people who honestly think my idea of a man is the same as their idea of a man and don't recognize nobody is going to fit arbitrarily gender norms 100% whether man or woman hence we're all technically non binary (although that comes off as speaking on others lived experience which isnt what I'm saying) because gender isn't binary. Sort by new comments, these people are hateful ignorant puppets parroting the narratives they've heard from mainstream media and grifters trying to capitalize off their stupidity and hate.

Well, for me, the recognition really came to me pretty recently... I'm quite uncomfortable being called as a woman or she/her... but I realized this feeling after i learned about non binary and non binary pronouns. Also I don't live in US and here our language is not that gendered I think? There's lots of terms describing just 'that person'. That and not having gender dysphoria was hard for me to figure out that i'm nonbinary(and yes i'm still confused searching the internet)... But I think when i look back i always had that thing... confusing thing if i wanted to be that girl with the boy or the boy with that girl. I'm also bi so it was and is pretty confusing... and I feel like I want to be like the male celebrities that i have crush on? So yeah. Just utter chaos. Annnd i am afab person with short hair and stuff so lots of times i get mistaked as a boy and i don't feel bad or frustrated. I maybe kinda like that? I don't know. But whatsoever i identify as a nonbinary now after thinking and thinking... and i enjoy being nonbinary! So it's good.

Hello! Your video gave me a lot of good information and I did read some stuff online, I really like your video! ^^ Thank you for making it! I’ve started considering if I’m non-binary suits me but not because I don’t identify as my assigned gender (female) but because I want people to see me as me and not treat me as girl which can be uncomfortable because hey, I wanna have an intellectual and interesting discussion without throwing innuendoes and flirty comments at me or get comments from girls saying I’m chasing guys because I’m only talking to them, which, surprise surprise, talk about topics I’m interested in. Even the time of anonymous online chats people thought I was a guy, which actually I took as a compliment, and girls talked to me and we broke stereotypes and had fun without trying to pretend to be overly-girly but also talk about things that girls experience. Now, do I want to change my body? I wish I looked like an anime girl, or a fantasy elf, it’s impossible so I accepted my body. I realised our bodies are given to us but not necessarily portray our inner selves. I lived a long life hating my body because it doesn’t tell about my personality, I look in the mirror and don’t see myself, who is this person? I even had times when I wished I was thinner and had prettier body shape but I never wanted to change sex. Now I have learnt to appreciate my body, I love my body even though it doesn’t look like “me” in my mind. I enjoy it and my illusions of being ugly and fat are gone now. I use both male and female anime avatars because I associate with their personalities, I feel comfortable in both of them and i feel i can express myself well with them. I feel comfortable with she/her pronounce as well as they/them and don’t mind he/him whenever I use male avatars or when people don’t know my gender. Although while being in male avatars, I feel like a girl and something else simultaneously, not like a man but like an anime boy. I’d prefer she/they though, he/they are ok when I’m in male avatars (I find it amusing). Is it possible to be female and non-binary at the same time? The terms queer and transvestite don’t sit well with me.

I can relate to all of these (most were subconscious up to now). My first sign that I'm nonbinary was when someone accidentally used they/them pronouns for me and I didn't mind. For a year after I used she/they pronouns, then transitioned to just they/them.

@1Jason

Жыл бұрын

They is for multiple people. You are either he or she. If you have something hanging there, you are he. If not its she.

@ARandomWolfApproaches

Жыл бұрын

Same here!

@LeoSanz7

Жыл бұрын

@@1Jason Point blank period. I don't understand these delusions. Is rather sad more than comical.

@1Jason

Жыл бұрын

@@LeoSanz7 They are brainwashed nut jobs.

@hydra-axolotl

Жыл бұрын

@@1Jason ​'they/them' have been used as neutral pronouns since the 14th century.

Oh, I recognise myself! This feeling of being forced to play a role that doesn't fit, like my whole identity being a horrific casting fail, was something else. For me, it wasn't just dressing up to pretend to be female, it was also internalising each and every rule imposed on girls and women by whomever bothered to vent their opinion at me, irrespective of the inevitable contradictions and inconsistencies. I have been mostly out for half a year now and I still get constantly better at being just me. Not he, not she, just me :)

@johnbattle7518

2 жыл бұрын

This is is a woman her pronouns are she/ her

@omikrondraconis5708

2 жыл бұрын

@@johnbattle7518 you know nothing, John Battle.

@johnbattle7518

2 жыл бұрын

@@omikrondraconis5708 sure I do, the woman in the video is female, her pronouns are she and her, she also has a vagina

@astoldbynickgerr

Жыл бұрын

I SO identify with your comment.

@countess.5619

Жыл бұрын

@@omikrondraconis5708 actually he does

I just had the biggest realization that I've been showing all five of these signs (especially questioning if I'm a girl or not) since I was a little kid and that I'm actually non-binary, I just didn't know that it was an option until around two years ago. This video really helped me figure myself out!

@loganblackwood2922

Жыл бұрын

It isn't an option, if you're female you're either a girl or a woman. Nobody gets to step outside of their biology.

@Destorm0n

Жыл бұрын

Get help, this is just a phase 💀💀💀

@mjones8170

Жыл бұрын

You're not non- binary. You just aren't a walking stereotype. It's so sexist to have this spectrum where feminine women are women and masculine men are men and everybody else is inbetween. Grow up. Just because a female doesn't act like barbie doesn't mean they are less female than one who does. This non- binary rubbish is old school 1950s sexism.

@andrilierlol

Жыл бұрын

​@@Destorm0nong

@kaurpajula2731

Жыл бұрын

​@@loganblackwood2922it's not stepping outside biology as gender is psychological and everyone is free to identify as they want

I struggled my whole life to find my true gender identity because everyone kept telling me "you can either be a man or woman" but I always wanted to look like a completely androgynous person and having no genitals. Being referred to as a man or woman made me cringe every time but it was so difficult to understand why I felt that way. And coming out as nonbinary was literally the most wonderful feeling that I ever experienced

@lynnsaga1397

2 жыл бұрын

I'm happy you found the word! I also agree coming out was the best thing to happen to me

@fingerscrossed2453

2 жыл бұрын

What you dress like shouldn't influence your gender identity. I'd argue that you are shallow if you think it does. I do not identify as a lycanthropist if I dress as a werewolf for Halloween.

AAAAAAAAA, OMG , thank you very much. I was so hesitant about my gender. I thought there was something wrong with ME and that I couldn’t just accept myself as a woman, to give up stereotypes. But I was wrong. Thanks. You gave me confidence in myself and my feelings ☺️😌❤️

@MikeMike-fl5mi

2 жыл бұрын

sometimes life is hard and sometimes you dont like something but that doesnt change REALITY. FACE REALITY DONT RUN FROM IT

@koreywitabagg665

2 жыл бұрын

You can give up on stereotypes and still be a woman like tomboy or still a both a feminine and masculine woman

@gayfrogtime

Жыл бұрын

@@koreywitabagg665 Yes, you can do that, but also you could be nonbinary. Its different for different people.

@yochiartz2839

Жыл бұрын

same here

Only today have I realized that I am non-binary. I was really oblivious until recently tho. and I've been telling people that I use any pronouns and getting stuck at a select a gender from the list boxes for over a year now.

@Bunny501

2 жыл бұрын

Great video btw, made me feel even better with my new label. Now I can say for sure that gender euphoria is a real thing

@lynnsaga1397

2 жыл бұрын

Congratulations on coming to that realization! It’s always amazing figuring out a part of yourself

@MikeMike-fl5mi

2 жыл бұрын

lmfao mentaI iIIness

Oh. I'm getting confused. Like maybe I am non-binary cause I'm questioning my gender a lot and all those 5 signs are about me. But what if I'm not? This is really a lot for me to process. Thank you for this video ❤

Wonderful videos, I'm glad that you have the strength to talk about this, Thank you very much for this wonderful video. What you talked about in the video sounds excelly like how i am not how i was when I was younger, i hated dresses and like wear men's clothing, and i used they/them. But my question is about your pronouns if you ever used us/we when you are talking to someone and saying what you did that day using us/we when you describe yourself? I ask this question because sence i was younger (I'm 42 now and learning more about LGBTQ community), people told me that using "us/we" was in correct and forced me to use "i/me/myself" about 7 years ago and sence then i feel uncomfortable with "i/me/myself" I'm happier with "us/we" terms and i hate when someone says I'm a girl, i don't mind "she" but like better "them/they". Now finding out more about LGBTQ at my age when I knew something off when i was little, i feel like I'm coming out of hidding, is that normal to say?

Hi Lynn! Thank you for posting this video. It really helped me figure out if I’m non-binary, and your cats are so cute! I now go by they/them now.

@keyboarddancers7751

2 жыл бұрын

You do realise she recently left the Mormons? From one cult to another...

shoutout to the fat cat in the background

@lynnsaga1397

2 жыл бұрын

All the cats deserve a shout out😅

@jozefienvoets2744

2 жыл бұрын

@@lynnsaga1397 god you're SO right

Left Hand of Darkness by Ursula LeGuinn really got me to think about our social pressure to define people by their gender. Which led to me wondering why we even have gender specific pronouns in the first place. I mean when you think about it, I, and YOU, are important pronouns because when we communicate, it's important to know if a person is talking about themselves, you, or somebody else. That's critical to communicate a thought. But then why if I say "She went to get a cup of coffee" is it so critical to understand the person getting the coffee is female, that we have a word JUST for denoting their gender? Like, is it that a woman getting coffee is a different thing than a man getting coffee? Is it like a holdover from patriarchal society where some people were lesser people so it's like some need to differentiate people based on their class, and their class often followed gender lines with women being more like property? I don't know the answer to any of these questions, but reading that book make me see how weird our society is in the first place. Now the weird thing is that knowing gender pronouns are weird and I don't think we need them, it still feels WEIRD to me to continuously use 'they/them' as a pronoun. I think it's just because we're not used to using those pronouns in that manner. Like they/them is usually used for groups of people not individuals but at the same time they/them seems less personal and more like you're talking about a group of outsiders or somebody that you don't recognize as an equal. This is very subtle stuff. If I said "They got a cup of coffee" that's not disrespectful, but at the same time it's less personal and shows you see that person differently than if you said he/she got a cup of coffee. Like it's more...impersonal I think. Isn't language weird?

@seanhartnett79

11 ай бұрын

True. I sometimes slip into they when I am talking about more than one person. And in order to not screw up pronouns I try and use the persons name.

@lilyhawthorne1196

4 ай бұрын

You perfectly managed to articulate the reason why I don't like using they/them most of the time without me even realizing there was a reason behind it lol

being uncomfortable with people calling me "male" being flattered when misgendered as a female being full-on gender euphoric when a little girl passing by with her sister couldn't figure it out when see looked at me and then she asked her sister which one it was(I had a dark purple hair, black nails, and a beard on my face(which makes it special because it's hard not to be thought of as a male when you have facial hair)) there was also the time when I was talking about it with a friend and at the time we both considered ourselves "mostly" cisgender, but then we got into gender expression and how abstract it really is, and I think we both figured it out definitively right there and then that we're both non-binary actually.. since I'm already oversharing, one time I took Ayahuasca under an unintentional trans flag whilst dancing in the middle between the male side and the female side because randomly they put me there for no apparent reason other than acoustics because of the singing we were also doing.. but talk about gender euphoria!

Thanks! This was helpful. I just came out as nonbinary too a year ago. I loved this so much. Also def subscribed ❤️

@eggbath595

Жыл бұрын

😟

@eggbath595

Жыл бұрын

kzread.info/dash/bejne/gJd4wcWilcq7Yrg.html

Thanks for the video this came at a really good time for me as I'm just starting to be more open about my own identity with people outside of my immediate friend group. Honestly part of what helped me to realise I was non-binary (possibly agender but sticking with just NB for now) is that I just always felt disconnected from boys and uncomfortable whenever I was grouped in with them. No idea if other people experience this, but I never actually felt uncomfortable with masculine words or terms until I actually came out, now I can't even hear someone who doesn't know use them about me without cringing or worse. So I definitely understand point 1 and point 4 the most and point 2 but to varying degrees depending on how self destructive I feel. Thanks for all the videos all of them have helped me so much since you first started (I'm demisexual as well)

I never really had an issue with she/her, the pronouns of my assigned biological sex that is. But I never had an issue with being mistaken for a guy or addressed as Mr either. At times I even welcomed it! I have a deepish voice with a first name that can be male or female depending on the language,which I love and am proud of. Always have been. I also like how it means "man/manly". I've been having recurring thoughts about my gender too, sometimes more strongly, sometimes less strongly. Most of the times feminine clothing doesn't feel like dressup but makeup does. What comes as a gut punch is any questionnaire with only male/female as gender options. And I never felt completely/fully female. I felt either insufficient/uncomfortable when I really thought hard about it or completely forgot about anything relating my gender and was just being me. I have/had some body image issues, specifically with my breast sometimes, but nothing culminating in selfharm... yet. But I feel you about wanting at least a more neutral bodytype.

@donpablitojuarez4640

Жыл бұрын

Im a man and Im comfortable being a man, but I have a more squeaky voice than normal and also Im also smaller than normal, so my friends often make fun of me by calling me a woman lol

Hi, I loved this video. I don't know what I am and have been questioning for ages but I have an inkling that I don't fit into the typical woman or man roles. I've always felt different and confused about my identity (gender and otherwise), and I can't tell if it's because I'm neurodivergent or non-binary or both. I get dysphoria but the physical dysphoria is only mild - I just know I prefer androgyny but apart from that i don't think about it. The social gender dysphoria (how others perceive and treat you according to gender) is a bit worse. I find it hard to explore my gender expression because I generally don't find experimenting with my appearance that exciting, and I'm busy a lot, but I still have low self-esteem about it. Then there's the whole mental health issues bundle that tends to come with ADHD and autism so I don't even know what's going on - my gender dysphoria could be general dysphoria about myself. Either way something's up

I love cats just glitching in the background due to the editing, like, there's that beautiful golden cat and suddenly it becomes the darker cat, it is amazing

I don’t understand why people can’t just reject the stereotypes that they feel surround their sex. There’s nothing wrong with being a woman who doesn’t like dresses. It doesn’t mean you’re not a woman.

@petersaysthings

2 жыл бұрын

Did you even watch the video? It’s about more than just not liking dresses.

I dont get it, at all, and this is not meant as hate... just because you dont fit the stereotypical gender roles, you are non-binary? So every feminine man, or tomboy women, is not a man/woman anymore, but sth else? Isnt sorting people in and out of categories based on such rigid stereotypical gender roles the opposite of progressive? I - as a man - have felt very uncomfortsble with my body as a teenager too, never felt like i could fit the role of a stereotypical man... I like to go shopping, love wellness & spas, use beauty products, love fashion, wear pink, cant fight or do handywork, and cry alot in movies ... am i now non-binary? I know im not, im just not your stereotypical male, but where is the line, what is the criteria? Again, this is not meant as putting anyone down for what they think or how they label themselfes, im genuinly confused about this stuff and wanna learn, thats why i watch those videos in the first place

@silverlightning6649

2 жыл бұрын

Hi. So, while I can understand why you might think this video is claiming all people who do not conform to stereotypical gender roles are nonbinary, that is not what is being said. So to begin with if you take into account that the video was made with the intent to help people who are already questioning their gender and then is also just a "summary" of some common experiences among non-binary people it will come across as a very general video so I understand where you're confusion came from, but Lynn is simply pulling from common experiences in order to help people come to a clearer understanding. Also, yes arguably creating labels does "force" people into new boxes, but then that's the beauty of labels, they are adaptable and you can always create a new label, specifically with the nonbinary umbrella term it is extremely extensive and adaptable covering a whole range of feelings with the only "necessary" common thread being that you do not identify/feel wholly like a man or woman. If you want to understand more about what being non-binary is actually like then there's a pretty extensive comment thread up above (Maria, Elfieinblack and Silverlightning), but for convenience I will place the explanatory comments in this comment as you are obviously expressing a wish to learn and understand more about non-binary people. Comment/question from Maria: "I am really trying to understand the concept of non-binary. Forgive me if I am wrong, but it sounds to me that you were not comfortable with femininity: growing boobs, dressing up etc. A lot of women feel this way, and prefer to look and/or act in a more masculine way. It's nothing new or unacceptable. Besides, it is all new to the teenager and it is quite natural to question everything. Furthermore, I believe that everbody wants to be seen and accepted for who they are, and not their gender, or role in the society. I really can relate to most of the things you have mentioned, excpet for the relationship with the pronouns. However, I would not identify myself as non-binery. I find it very confusing that non-binary is referred to as "gender". Another thing I find confusing is the stereotyping what being a male or female is. As you are not either of them, that implies you know exactly what it is like to be a man or a woman. How? " Response from Elfieinblack: "It’s more complicated than just not being comfortable with femininity. There are tons of masculine presenting women who are definitely women and there are tons of non-binary people who still love to put on pretty dresses and get dressed up. It’s more deep down than that. When you’re non-binary you feel constantly too masculine to be “one of the girls” and too feminine to be “one of the boys”. It’s when you feel like you’re an alien or something because neither “boy” or “girl” feels right to you. There’s a lot of discomfort in the performance of being one gender or the other. Not just in terms of presentation but in terms of the day to day things. Whenever someone calls you “son” or “girlfriend” or “ma’am” it just feels wrong. Sometimes you don’t even really feel human. You’re just you and you wish that was enough, that you didn’t have to put a label on it because neither label feels right. Clothes are gender neutral. Like I said, you’re right about there being lots of women who don’t like traditionally feminine things and men who don’t like traditionally masculine things. That doesn’t dictate your gender. When they said “your assigned gender feels like a costume” it’s more like drag. When I dress up in fancy dresses and look traditionally feminine I feel like I’m dressing in drag. Imagine how you would feel dressing up as a “boy” with a fake mustache and everything. That’s how it feels. The thing is, there is a non-binary beauty standard just like there is one for men and for women and that standard is the flat chested, straight waisted, cheekbony version of androgyny (like Ruby Rose). But a lot of non-binary people aren’t that, and that makes it hard, the same way it’s hard for cis people when they don’t fit a beauty standard. We know that our gender and what we look like aren’t related but we also know that this is beauty standard." Comment from Silverlightning: "I'd also like to add something. In my experience I literally do not feel any connection to the idea of being a man, whenever anyone has grouped me in with the boys it feels wrong and even just being around a group of guys leaves me feeling disconnected I have no feeling of shared connection with them its just an alienating environment. I feel more comfortable just talking and hanging out with girls and feel more of a connection and understanding their but in the same way that I know I'm not a boy I know I'm not a girl, not a part of that group just separate. Gender in the way society sees it is a construction, whereas gender identity or perception is personal and internal its intrinsic to a person's core self to the point where its more instinctual than any actual realisation at first for a lot of people." Response from Maria: "Thank you for your explanation. It makes me think. I find it interesting that a non-binary person wants to be accepted for who they are.The focus should be on the human being, and on one's personality, right? It sounds pretty nice. However, you say you don't feel belonging to a group of guys. Doesn't that put more emphasis on their gender than their personalities? I understand what you mean when you say you don't feel belonging to the group, but isn't that generalizing their gender at the same time? Thinking that you definitely can't connect cause they are guys? Perhaps they share similar values, interests type of humor with you, but you never found out as you didn't approach them as separate individuals, but just as a group. Hence, they don't get to be seen "for who they are", but just as a gender with stereotypical gender roles. I don't believe that the gender determines your personality. It plays a role, for sure. However, there are so many other factors that play a more important part such as: upbringing, school, hobbies etc. My other question is: How can you identify yourself with females and still not feel like one of them? How can you know for sure? How "different" do you have to be from either group, boys and girls, in order to be regarded as another gender?" Response from SilverLightning: Hi. So first I'd like to say I'm not the best at explaining myself or my understanding of my gender because a lot of it is instinctual to me and I'm also still trying to figure out exactly where I fit, but I'll do my best to answer your questions. I'm glad your actually interested in learning and understanding. So when I say I don't feel connected or like I belong in a group of guys, I'm not saying I don't get along with them, often I do and whenever its just me and one of them its a lot easier as we're just individuals and there's often no pressure of gender roles or categories as we're a pretty diverse group as it is (we never originally hung out as a group so I knew them all as individual people first and its still easy to be around them when its just one of them). But whenever its a group situation, I always feel disconnected and alienated its like a persistent nagging sensation and I feel like "other", its got nothing to do with the conversation or topics I just feel displaced I don't really know how to explain it more than that a displacement. I can answer your next question a little easier, so when it comes to girls, I can connect on an easier level and I often feel like I can be myself easier as all parts of my personality and interests are taken at face value whether they would've been expected from me or not. I also just relate easier with girls because I don't feel uncomfortable there's no disconnect. When I say that it might sound like I'm saying I can identify as one of the girls as I don't feel disconnected, but its not that simple, there are times when I wonder if I'm a transgirl but it just doesn't sit right with me as I feel more neutral, the reason I connect easier with girls is because of that, I'm not judged for my interests and I'm taken at face value which includes the fact that I have no draw, no desire to be a girl. I want to say, I can't know for sure how I will come to perceive myself in the future as my understanding of myself may change so yes, I may decide that the nonbinary label is not 100% right in the future, but at the minute it is who I am as far as my understanding goes, I'm not a girl and I'm definitely not a boy. I honestly don't know how to approach your final question, simply because I never have felt like I belong to the "groups" of being a boy or a girl fully so I can't really say how different one would need to be. It's someone's perception of themselves that matters and the only person who can fully understand their identity is the person themselves, so you just have to take somebody at their word. I know that it can be frustrating not having a clear and decisive explanation but everyone's unique and so everyone's perception of gender identity will differ slightly especially when you equate that to gender constructions in society and how they shape expression. I hope this makes some sort of sense as its hard to put into words and probably sounds a little contradictory which I'm sorry about I've tried to explain it to the best of my ability, but its a part of me, its instinctive not something that I know how to describe as it just is." Sorry for the extremely long message which included the previous comment thread, but I really hope this helps as its a complicated topic and honestly I still struggle to completely wrap my head around my own feelings around my gender at points mainly due to it being so instinctual to me I just have to feel it rather than explain it.

@heyy1829

2 жыл бұрын

@@silverlightning6649 wow ok thats a lot of content 😅 after reading it, i sadly still dont really get what "feeling like one of the boys/girls" or "feeling connected to a group of men/women" would even mean, because for me it would entirely be about individual personality traits, not gender. but your response made me think...maybe its like with the fish and the water, you cant feel it unless it is missing or there is some disturbance... anyway, thanks for responding 👍🏻

@silverlightning6649

2 жыл бұрын

@@heyy1829 To be fair, I can't explain it the best because as I've said I don't experience what its like to identify and feel like a boy/girl but I have had it explained to me from both sides since I came out. I also focus on people's personalities, this is just another factor to interaction that generally goes unnoticed by cis-people as it all aligns identically to what you expect anyway so I understand how you may not be able to feel it as like you said, you can't feel it unless you miss it.

@iwillloveyoursoulifyourepl5557

2 жыл бұрын

@@silverlightning6649 It’s one valid sign you are non binary and that is being transexual if not it’s just a delusion i could get behind calling a trans (them) I’m not gonna call a white person Chinese just because he feels like it. gender dysphoria is a mental health problem that you need To take up with a therapist or psychiatrist and not go around screaming you are non binary just like a person in psychosis shouldn’t go around and talk about his delusion that is obviously fake actually it’s basically the same thing thinking you are two gender is a perfect example of a psychotic delusion I mean it’s the most obvious wrong delusion that exist if you want to take the argument seriously

@kaiyodei

2 жыл бұрын

from what I gather that is the "soul" of what being nonbinary means, or gender non conforming

Thank you Lynn for the explanations! Does that mean that, when I see someone’s name tag and it says under the name, “they/them/their” that I ask “how are they doing?” Or do I just say “how are you?” I guess maybe it’s only implemented in cases when you’re talking ABOUT the person- instead of saying “talk to him,” I’d say “talk to them”?

@Nimsrodel

Ай бұрын

It's rude to refer to someone in the third person when they can hear you. So "you" is the correct pronoun.

Thank you so much for making this💗I was really confused when I learned what non binary was and trans ppl and all that, when I was younger my mother would always say “you are a beautiful young lady” I never liked me being the thought as a “lady” so again, thanks:D

I think I'm at a point where I can't deny that I'm nonbinary anymore. Like I'm AFAB and I'm definitely leaning towards fem, but I'm not really a girl. I like the term demigirl, because it validate this feeling of still fem but not fully girl or binary. I've lately notice that I'm discovered how much I hate being called girl, young lady, or young woman. I don't understand splitting into binary genders. I don't know, I think I'm just needing to let myself accept that though I'm AFAB it's okay to identify as demigirl and im not just some attention seeking cis gender

@mantralibre1367

Жыл бұрын

Understanding why Wittgenstein rejected logical atomism was waaaay easier than understanding this. I... Do you even understand that these are not problems, do you. We live in the less judgemental, sexually more liberated society in history. Do you so need to define yourself or what?

"omg i relate so much to thissss, maybe i'm not a gender because some rando on youtube said i was"

Recently I have been thinking I’m non-binary and not transgender,and I’m very confused Lol! Well for starters I kinda recently started feeling like i’m neither male or female,but use he/they pronouns,and just feel uncomfortable or weird whenever someone asks me if I’m a boy or if I’m a girl,(I usually just get nervous and say idk) and I don’t like it when people ask me this question- so yeah- I did used to feel more masculine and more like I’m a boy- or male (transgender) but now I feel more like I’m non-binary. I also kinda noticed that whenever I’m in the woman’s or girls restroom in school I always wait until all the other girls in the restroom leave or if I think it’s safe to go outside,and just get very uncomfortable using bathrooms,fearing that someone would tell me something or ask if I was male or female,this did happen once when a girl with puffy hair asked me while I was washing my hands if I was a boy or girl I just got all nervous and said that I didn’t know and there was this other time when this talk kid in P.E had asked the same question I could answer and I just stayed quiet not wanting to answer the question,however I did used to play with both “boy” and “girl” toys honestly I don’t even know why people put literal toys for either gender- anyways I also used to wear both Dresses and more “masculine” clothing,I also used to pretend I was characters such like sonic or Mickey Mouse even pretending to be my own characters usually male,but I would also pretend to be creatures most of the time like dragons and demons,I also used to believe I was this Powerful white shapeshifting dragon when I was around the age of 6 or 7,so to me that’s kinda one of the biggest signs that I’m nonbinary- or may be nonbinary.

When i was still questioning i hated wearing anything féminine. I was going to go to a fancy restaurant with my parents and so they forced me to wear a dress which we first had to buy. I was so dysphoric that i started crying.

Have you ever asked yourself why you were upset at being a woman? Looking in the mirror and being dissatisfied by what you see is a symptom of low self-esteem. The problem there is the expectations that society has placed on you for being a woman, or you did on yourself. You need to become okay with what you are rather than pretend to be something you're not. Also, what is the being "seen as you" apart from your body? In 99% of cases, your body is usually pretty obviously male or female. Your body is who and what you are. Your personality and individuality are emergent properties of your body. Being perceived as female because of your feminine body *is* being seen as what you are.

Small question, is it normal to feel Nonbinary but not show any signs of being nonbinary as a young child? I feel most comfortable identifying as nonbinary, but when I was little I showed absolutely no signs of that. It wasn't until around a year ago I started feeling like I was neither male or female. I've always been extremely feminine (and still am, but I still feel like I'm non binary at the same time) so I feel like maybe I'm wrong, can someone please help me, am I valid or no?

@mdust8409

2 жыл бұрын

ª , i'm exactly the same . I never had problems with my gender for almost 20 years until now but this last year i'm really struggling with my gender, I feel like I'm demigirl and I'm having chest dysphoria . Yet I never had any serious signs I can recall being a kid .

@Redddragon

2 жыл бұрын

SOMEONE ANSWER THIS BECAUSE SAME

I've identified as enby for a while now but as of recently, I found a xenogender that I think really fits me, even my therapist said it made sense, but I literally can't really tell anyone or talk about it (even though there are actually NO videos about it on KZread, which is a shame) because I would only get made fun of 😢 Cuz it's still new to me, I still have alot to figure out but it just makes so much and it hurts that I have to be choosy with who I tell it to...

Great signs you pointed out! When I first found out what the term non-binary was I was so relieved because after struggling with both my gender and also sexualaties as a child (even up to today) I was still unsure who I was. It is so refreshing to not be held down by traditional labels, or to fall into cliché gender norms now! Plus after researching the medical costs of transitioning that scared me off transitioning that way.

I was assigned male at birth, I’ve always been uncomfortable being in the gender binary, I used to think I was a trans girl, but I also felt uncomfortable with that too, now I identify as Nonbinary agender Edit: I’m 14, and people always tell me I’m growing up to be a beautiful young man, I hate being told that because that’s not how I identify, it makes me feel more dysphoric, I look like a boy, and others sometimes mistake me for a boy, but sometimes since I’m growing out my hair, I get mistaken as a girl, I hate that too Edit 2: Still nonbinary, but genderfluid specifically now

@shadowss360

Жыл бұрын

I have been growing my hair and do get mistaken for a girl sometimes but I don't know what I feel I don't mind being called by she/her or he/him but I'm also not sure if I like it. I'm also 14 and don't usually think about gender I kinda just accepted it and stopped thinking about it, but really I've been looking into how genders work and now I really am not sure.

@simonw.1223

Жыл бұрын

@@shadowss360 like just identify with your birth sex and just dress however you like. Like I alo dont conform to gender norms

@agrizic

Жыл бұрын

You are just mentaly ill.

@babyyoda7417

Жыл бұрын

@@shadowss360 You could be Apagender, that’s when you don’t care about your gender

@kaurpajula2731

Жыл бұрын

​@@agrizicyou are more

I know I’m bi but I’m am starting to question my gender, this was helpful thanks!!!

@iwillloveyoursoulifyourepl5557

2 жыл бұрын

How do you question your gender unless u trans bc it’s 99,99999999999 times a billion more that you are your gender actually it’s the most obvious delusion there is when I think abt it

@Feisenbach

2 жыл бұрын

Take a look between your legs and you'll know.

@jeanv1352

Жыл бұрын

Of course you are! Follow the trend!

Damn… 2 and 4 hit close to home for me. I hate the fact I grow facial hair and puberty is where it started to get rough. I would always say I don’t care to be a man I just want to be me. I don’t want the manly social roles. This video made me look back and think about the signs in my youth lol. Good video!

lets see here. dont like gendered pronouns, check. over-analyze my body, check. dressing like a "man" or "woman" feels like dress-up, check. wanting to be just seen as myself, not as my gender, check. and I did watch this video. so check. yeah im non-binary alright.

People need to understand what personality traits are. Sometimes you're just a feminine man or sometimes you're just a masculine woman. get this nonsense out of here

I'm slightly questioning my gender, but I think I'm still cis. I've become in favour of gender abolition, so I no longer want to limit my self-expression in accordance with the oppressive social construct of being a "man", yet I remain most comfortable in the default clothing I grew up in which I'd consider neutral/masculine. I can also grow a pretty good beard, and I feel good with one. Having said that, I've recently become quite enthralled by the sorta androgynous/femboy aesthetic, and it's left me kinda frustrated that I can't instantly switch between the 2 looks, since I think I could pull-off both if I committed full time to either. When I've cross-dressed in private it's been very exciting, but it did feel kinda like a costume so maybe it's just a fetish rather than my sincere gender expression 🤔I've also recently discovered I'm bisexual, so that might be contributing to some of my feelings.

@keyboarddancers7751

2 жыл бұрын

Why not focus on your education and on your career plans?

@funkytikigod7039

2 жыл бұрын

@@keyboarddancers7751 I think I can continue to have a fulfilling career and still be introspective about these kind of things. When I said "full time" I didn't mean fixating on my gender expression at the expense of everyday life and long-term plans, I just meant I kinda have to choose a look and stick with it. Since whilst my facial hair regrows fast, I can't be cleanshaven and more "feminine" one day and then bearded "masculine" the next.

@keyboarddancers7751

2 жыл бұрын

@@funkytikigod7039 Well as long as it doesn't involve removing anything more substantial than hair, there's nothing wrong with experimentation. Your twenties are such an incredibly precious energetic foundational opportunity for the coming decades of your lifespan.

@funkytikigod7039

2 жыл бұрын

@@keyboarddancers7751 Yeah I don't have any interest in sex reassignment surgery, I'd have to be suffering from extreme gender dysphoria to consider that. I'm just curious about discarding any arbitrary limitations on my gender expression I've subconsciously internalised so as to better self-actualise myself. Although, I think it would be cool to be a post-gender transhuman cyborg one day, but that's just scifi nonsense for now...

@keyboarddancers7751

2 жыл бұрын

@@funkytikigod7039 I wouldn't dismiss such things as "sci-fi nonsense": Joanna Russ and Marge Piercy each wrote really interesting (seminal) sci-fi/utopian novels in the mid '70s whose (revolutionary for the time) themes were the radically non-conformist societal roles of women and men. *The Female Man* and *Woman on the Edge of Time* - both well worth a read. I'm indebted to a female acquaintance over 20 years ago for introducing me to those rather amazing books. Also I think Star Trek and Battlestar Galactica (reboot) have already used the "transhuman cyborg" plot device very creatively.

So I'm bisexual and polyamorous but I have zero understanding of non-binary gender identities. When it comes to my sexual and romantic identity, I'm of the philosophy of "you don't need to understand me or like what I do, you just need to believe me and respect me". But I have also always appreciated honest questions from people wanting to understand. As someone who knows nothing about the non-binary experience, I often hear about dysmorphia and not feeling right in your body's sex in terms of gender identity, but I have also met a few people who say they're non-binary (and have they/them pronouns) who DO PRESENT binary (i.e. deliberately feminine or masculine appearance at all times). How does that work?

Hi, I'm Jax, they/them. I wore two sports bras yesterday for six hours The day before, I did 150 wall push ups and I noticed my collarbones felt weird. I'm an exteremly paronoid person and while I was doing the exercises, my collarbones felt like that I only started the double sports bras last night after the wall push ups, and I'm not sure if my collarbones hurt cuz of that. Is it bad to wear two sports bras? When I went to d&d, it got hard to breathe so I took one off. Did I damage my chest?

@NeyamStar

3 ай бұрын

Uhhhh please buy an actual binder and don't exercise in them I really don't think that's good for you maybe see a doctor or something

@Nimsrodel

Ай бұрын

I highly recommend Enell sports bras. They're the only bras I wear. The bra is solid as a rock, nothing moves. You didn't damage anything, btw, but if you get Enell you won't need to wear two.

Being uncomfortable with your developing body, not fitting into gender roles, and just wanting to be seen as yourself is actually part of a larger identity than non-binary. It’s called being teenage. Particularly being a teenage girl and the ruthless scrutiny they go through. Saying that if you don’t fit into a narrow female identity you must be non-binary is stereotyping itself. Can you not imagine gender nonconforming people who AREN’T trans or NB? Do you really think cis women don’t question their gender identity? I’m sorry, but I think it displays a lack of knowledge of and interest in most women’s lives. And the vagueness of the signs you used just apply to most people 🤷‍♀️

@keyboarddancers7751

2 жыл бұрын

Excellentsummary.

@kaiyodei

2 жыл бұрын

nah. it's the core and entrity of nonbinary. even when someone has neurodivergence and depersonalization disorder

@blackgrlfly

2 жыл бұрын

Way to be closeminded and ignorant

@Undesignedd

2 жыл бұрын

What about adult people lol

Hello, Could you please let me know what can you do as non-binary that you can't do as woman? I just don't get when people say "feel like a woman" What does suppose to mean? I have seen other videos stating that they are non-binary because of the clothes... I just don't understand how the fashion taste can affect your whole identity...

@Nimsrodel

Ай бұрын

For sure, seems rather shallow, doesn't it? I hate this male female polarization thing. There's really a lot of overlap and people seem to think only the extremes are important. That's a big mistake.

When I was a girl I began to notice the sexist stereotypes, roles and expectations imposed onto me, my sister, my mother, grandmother, cousins, aunties and friends. It was grossly unfair and oppressive, and still is. 'Gender' is the entire problem. Defining ourselves in terms of it is not the solution. It's a huge step backwards. You guys are so close but so far. It's baffling that you don't get it. Like hundreds of years of the women's and LGB movements went right over your heads.

@feltfrog

3 ай бұрын

Trans people have always existed. Your obsession with them is honestly embarrassing and I feel sorry for you. Why are you stalking this KZreadr?

@Mel-wn9gb

3 ай бұрын

@@feltfrog People who believe in the ideology of 'cis' and 'trans' have existed since about 1994. People who believe in the ideological concept of 'binary' and 'nonbinary' have existed for a mere decade or so. I'm not obsessed with 'trans' people or 'nonbinary' people. How can I be obsessed with them when my entire point is that there's no such thing, and they're just people with a problematic ideological belief system? I'm interested in resisting sexism, misogyny and homophobia, which I've been doing since I was a child. When you impose sexist dogma onto other people - violating their lives and rights - don't be suprised if they call you out on it. You made it my business, so here I am.

@feltfrog

3 ай бұрын

@@Mel-wn9gb You are obsessed with them, you spend every day seeking out trans and nonbinary content creators so you can spread your gender critical ideology and tell them their families are disappointed in them. That’s bully behaviour, Mel. Why are you so obsessed with them? Maybe you’re trans :))

@feltfrog

3 ай бұрын

@@Mel-wn9gb Rather than going after actual misogynists spreading manosphere BS you’re targeting LGBTQ people lol. What a good person you are.

@Mel-wn9gb

3 ай бұрын

@@feltfrog Quote me where I said anyone's family is disappointed in them. I've never said such a thing because that's not my argument. My argument is that the concepts 'cis', 'trans', 'binary' and 'nonbinary' are sex stereotyping, which is sexism. I've been opposing sexism mý entire life. I'm not obsessed with 'trans' people. My entire point is that there's no such thing. The only bully here is you, making personal attacks and making up lies that you can't back up, instead of decent, reasoned, coherent arguments. Try harder.

Tbh I've known I've been nonbinary for a long long time, but societal pressure makes me worry I'm lying to myself somehow,, and it's always super reassuring to know I've been right about myself the whole time!! I really don't mind my body the way it is or my hair length or anything, to me it comes down to pronouns and the perception of me... And I shouldn't have to start disliking parts of myself just because it makes others think of me a certain way I'm wording this clumsily but this is a very nice video, thank you

@cosygoose1813

Жыл бұрын

So what your saying is because of the way people look at you, you thought that was a gender?

This video can at just the right time for me. I’ve been questioning whether I am or not and I’m pretty sure I am. I’ll wait to the end of the school year too think about it though. I go to an all boys school and I’ve been wanting to change schools anyway. So I’m going to wait to come out to my parents and this’ll give me more time to think too.

@lynnsaga1397

2 жыл бұрын

Awwww I’m so glad I made it now then! Coming out is such an amazing thing let me know how it goes☺️

i am not nonbinary and am very much a cisgender woman (by that i mean a very feminine one) but i related to a lot of this video especially the parts about not being able to see myself in the mirror and that’s because of childhood sexual trauma and for the longest time i didn’t want to not be seen as a woman per se but i didn’t want to be seen at all as anything for the longest time.

@westvirginiascoolestcanadian

2 жыл бұрын

@@Cha4k i go to therapy but it’s not really something i can bring myself to talk about face-to-face with someone

I’m currently questioning. It’s a very recent thing and I’m so confused. I have a loving male partner who I love and want to raise a family with. I know he would support me but my family is very old fashioned and I’m worried about saying anything. I’ve always been a bit of a tomboy always preferring jeans and T-shirts and hanging out with the boys and generally being quite masculine in certain situations. Im not sure if this is simply a mid life crisis or if I’m simply gender fluid. Thanks for the video- it helps. ❤

(srry 4 english, im from spain))as an afab nonbinary person, i never really gave much thought into my gender identity at 1st, i just thought i was a tomboy and thats why i didnt feel comfortable w bc wearing feminine clothes or wearing clothes that revealed like the shape of my boobs wich is why i wore (and still do) baggy clothes. i used to hate my facial,arms and leg hairs bc i used 2 think what would other ppl would think if they saw it, after realizing that im nonbinary im a bit more comfortable w it (although i havent came out to my parents and i doubt they will understand and my mom is saying stuff like "ur changing 4 the worse! u used 2 shave" "nobody acts like their gender nowadays")

I've been questioning for a pretty long time now, and after identifying with every point in this video... yeah, it might be time to just accept it. Even typing this, I'm looking down at the green and black polish on my nails, and thinking I should really start listening to myself. Anyway, great video, as usual. It's helpful to be able too hear too his stuff from someone who really knows what they're talking about. You're helping a lot of people - myself included - so thank you very much. :)

@lynnsaga1397

2 жыл бұрын

I’m so glad to have helped! And trust me I definitely understand it taking awhile to accept it

For some time now i’ve been thinking that i might be non-binary. I’m afab and i hate being called a woman or a girl, and i feel like i’m out of theese gender norms, i feel like i’m something in between. The thing is, i’m okay with any pronouns, and i’d like if people did not stick to only one pronoun. I’d like if people also used he/him and they/them for me. And I don’t understand, does that still make me enby if i’m okay with all pronouns, and gendered pronouns too? :/

@kingdunnad

2 жыл бұрын

The thing about pronouns is that you can use whichever ones you want! They're separate from your gender identity. For example i'm agender, but I use she/her and also they/them because that's what I'm comfortable with

@vi5727

2 жыл бұрын

@@kingdunnad thank you, that’s actually really helpful. I’ve been identifying as non binary for few months now and discovered that i like they/she/he pronouns for myself

Ugh please I’m having an identity crisis right now and it’s so confusing. I grew up with a conservative family who valued femininity way too much. My father always taught me that women were meant to be sexually attractive to men, basically that was their sole purpose. Granted he was a homophobic, sexist, and racist pos but that’s a story for a different day. I got bullied all the time as a kid for looking too masculine because I hated wearing dresses and skirts. I felt insecure in them and it didn’t feel right. Eventually my family starting controlling the way I dressed and appeared and I hated it but I guess I grew used to it. Ever since then I’ve always dressed extremely feminine, wearing only dresses and skirts, long hair, makeup, etc etc. But I don’t feel like myself anymore. I look in the mirror and don’t recognize who I am. In reality I guess I don’t really know who I am, because I’ve never been given the opportunity to decide that for myself. Now I’m grown and can choose my own path, but it’s scary and I feel alone in it.

I realized quit quickly that I’m NB, like very recently. I’m talking like I’m in the first 5 months of discovering myself, so everything is like 🤔🫠 I told my mom this when I was somewhat comfy. She told me that she was “ok” with using the word “Non-Binary” to describe me, but when I said I had gender dysphoria, she said I was, and I quote, “I’m too old to be feeling gender dysphoria.” I’m 22 btw. If you think that makes no sense, it’s because it doesn’t make any sense. I went on the NB sub-Reddit, which is the best place on earth, in my opinion, and they validated me so much! Literally everyone on my post said that my mom was wrong. I even got someone who was 60 tell me that they just realized they were NB, tell me that my mom is wrong. So, that was my first experience with NB erasure, basically. Can’t wait to see how much more hate comes my way! 🤙🏻😩

I also dressed up as my masculine OCSs with a binder and felt freedom. For a long time I thought that I felt this way 'cause I was so excited about this "gender swap" until I started to flat my chest "just for fun". I feel so much more confident, hot and free since then. There're some other signs that I'm not cis before that but I thought that I would be just an unusual type of woman who doesn't want to fit into her biological role.

@vn1445

Жыл бұрын

How do you identify now?

@bertbrezel8605

Жыл бұрын

@@vn1445 I'm still unsure and need more time for that to be totally clear, but actually I'm seeing myself as nonbinary and more in the agender spectrum.

How you going to change they whole English language...turning a singular into plural...that's insane...

I think for me, the signs were that I started feeling dysphoria specifically about my chest and any curves starting from when I was 12-13. I always wanted to be small framed with zero curves. I've always been fairly small framed but the curves always ruined it. I don't like a lot of gendered words. I'm afab so "woman" always felt wrong but has been used quite a bit. I'm also uncomfortable with the idea of ever being referred to as "wife" or "Mrs" etc. Similarly, I don't like "man" or similar being used for me. There's way more but those are what come to mind at first. My overall feel about my gender is that I'm enby, and more specifically demigender, or demifluid. I've come up with an amusing title of "femboy catgirl" which I quite like for myself

@DarthLesbian

Жыл бұрын

"I started feeling dysphoria specifically about my chest and any curves starting from when I was 12-13." Soooo, just like MOST girls. Tomboy + autism sounds like the most likely, but enjoy your special made up attention seeking labels I guess.

@justanotakugirl5821

Жыл бұрын

@@DarthLesbian Hmmmm, I'm not sure how most girls feel at that age, but in my experience I used to hear a lot of them wishing they were bigger chested, it always confused me because I wanted to be flat. I do know the labels are made up, but to me they describe how I feel accurately. It's okay that other people don't know what they mean, because they are just for me. I would also never describe myself as a tomboy, I had some tomboy friends growing up and they hated all things feminine. I am a very feminine person still, it's just that I am not a woman. But anyway, the only reason I really wanted to respond is because I would like a follow up on what you said about autism? I'm genuinely curious what you mean about that in this context, because I know of some autism traits but I want to know how this relates. A response on this would be appreciated

It's really nice to hear someone else say this about pronouns and identification there with. I get most disturbed when someone picks a pronoun to address you with and then sees you and changes their mind for some reason. "I'm sorry sir, ohhh sorry ma'am" or "Madame, sorry sir". Pick a pronoun and stick with it because I really do not care what it is. Being read as a woman is also an apathetic experience for me at best, a charade at worst. Trying to imagine myself passing as a woman is so alien to me it hurts to do. To imagine myself as a man is also uncomfortable. I play along with being a woman in a binary society because it's expected, but more than a few times Ive been scrutinised and chewed out in female spaces by other women, often these women have children. (For the most part, kids are not afraid to ask me how I prefer to be addressed for the sake of their own curiosity which I absolutely adore) And more than a few times, Ive felt totally at my ease entering male spaces because in these spaces nobody gives a single solitary hoot that I'm even there. Im invisible and I love that. Clothing myself is also an experience I try hard ti avoid having to do and when I do, I prefer thrift stores because I can usually always find something that's gonna fit relatively well and reflect who I really am where as elsewhere, Im going to be forced into a shirt with darts that remain empty on my body, or Im not going to be able to find pants that fit. The sleeves are always too long, the buttons never button all the way, the pants are always too long and ill fitting. Nothing works exactly right. If it's built for a female body then on me it just looks strange. If it's a dress, then forget it. I go to great lengths to pass as the person I see myself as and to be read this way because this is what makes me feel good, feel like me. And even then, I'm still read as female and this is exhausting because female fits about as well as male, and both fit about as well as heels made of paper.

I still have thst problem with seeing yourself because to be honest I don't know what I want to see but it's lees often. I also get anxious easy when I start identifying with name or label. I am glad me getting obsessed with how bad I should feel isn't as present these days . The this I connect the most is I want to be me I had / still have this burning desire to be seen as me and never felt it's happening and again still not sure it's happening

@lynnsaga1397

2 жыл бұрын

I completely understand. It’s definitely a journey and you don’t need to have a label or anything to know who you are❤️

I am really trying to understand the concept of non-binary. Forgive me if I am wrong, but it sounds to me that you were not comfortable with femininity: growing boobs, dressing up etc. A lot of women feel this way, and prefer to look and/or act in a more masculine way. It's nothing new or unacceptable. Besides, it is all new to the teenager and it is quite natural to question everything. Furthermore, I believe that everbody wants to be seen and accepted for who they are, and not their gender, or role in the society. I really can relate to most of the things you have mentioned, excpet for the relationship with the pronouns. However, I would not identify myself as non-binery. I find it very confusing that non-binary is referred to as "gender". Another thing I find confusing is the stereotyping what being a male or female is. As you are not either of them, that implies you know exactly what it is like to be a man or a woman. How?

@elfieinblack4618

2 жыл бұрын

It’s more complicated than just not being comfortable with femininity. There are tons of masculine presenting women who are definitely women and there are tons of non-binary people who still love to put on pretty dresses and get dressed up. It’s more deep down than that. When you’re non-binary you feel constantly too masculine to be “one of the girls” and too feminine to be “one of the boys”. It’s when you feel like you’re an alien or something because neither “boy” or “girl” feels right to you. There’s a lot of discomfort in the performance of being one gender or the other. Not just in terms of presentation but in terms of the day to day things. Whenever someone calls you “son” or “girlfriend” or “ma’am” it just feels wrong. Sometimes you don’t even really feel human. You’re just you and you wish that was enough, that you didn’t have to put a label on it because neither label feels right. Clothes are gender neutral. Like I said, you’re right about there being lots of women who don’t like traditionally feminine things and men who don’t like traditionally masculine things. That doesn’t dictate your gender. When they said “your assigned gender feels like a costume” it’s more like drag. When I dress up in fancy dresses and look traditionally feminine I feel like I’m dressing in drag. Imagine how you would feel dressing up as a “boy” with a fake mustache and everything. That’s how it feels. The thing is, there is a non-binary beauty standard just like there is one for men and for women and that standard is the flat chested, straight waisted, cheekbony version of androgyny (like Ruby Rose). But a lot of non-binary people aren’t that, and that makes it hard, the same way it’s hard for cis people when they don’t fit a beauty standard. We know that our gender and what we look like aren’t related but we also know that this is beauty standard. Does any of that help?

@Maria-rc2hf

2 жыл бұрын

@@elfieinblack4618 That is interesting. Thank you for taking your time to explain it to me.

@silverlightning6649

2 жыл бұрын

@@Maria-rc2hf I'd also like to add something. In my experience I literally do not feel any connection to the idea of being a man, whenever anyone has grouped me in with the boys it feels wrong and even just being around a group of guys leaves me feeling disconnected I have no feeling of shared connection with them its just an alienating environment. I feel more comfortable just talking and hanging out with girls and feel more of a connection and understanding their but in the same way that I know I'm not a boy I know I'm not a girl, not a part of that group just separate. Gender in the way society sees it is a construction, whereas gender identity or perception is personal and internal its intrinsic to a person's core self to the point where its more instinctual than any actual realisation at first for a lot of people. Hope this helps

@Maria-rc2hf

2 жыл бұрын

@@silverlightning6649 Thank you for your explanation. It makes me think. I find it interesting that a non-binary person wants to be accepted for who they are.The focus should be on the human being, and on one's personality, right? It sounds pretty nice. However, you say you don't feel belonging to a group of guys. Doesn't that put more emphasis on their gender than their personalities? I understand what you mean when you say you don't feel belonging to the group, but isn't that generalizing their gender at the same time? Thinking that you definitely can't connect cause they are guys? Perhaps they share similar values, interests type of humor with you, but you never found out as you didn't approach them as separate individuals, but just as a group. Hence, they don't get to be seen "for who they are", but just as a gender with stereotypical gender roles. I don't believe that the gender determines your personality. It plays a role, for sure. However, there are so many other factors that play a more important part such as: upbringing, school, hobbies etc. My other question is: How can you identify yourself with females and still not feel like one of them? How can you know for sure? How "different" do you have to be from either group, boys and girls, in order to be regarded as another gender?

@silverlightning6649

2 жыл бұрын

@@Maria-rc2hf Hi. So first I'd like to say I'm not the best at explaining myself or my understanding of my gender because a lot of it is instinctual to me and I'm also still trying to figure out exactly where I fit, but I'll do my best to answer your questions. I'm glad your actually interested in learning and understanding. So when I say I don't feel connected or like I belong in a group of guys, I'm not saying I don't get along with them, often I do and whenever its just me and one of them its a lot easier as we're just individuals and there's often no pressure of gender roles or categories as we're a pretty diverse group as it is (we never originally hung out as a group so I knew them all as individual people first and its still easy to be around them when its just one of them). But whenever its a group situation, I always feel disconnected and alienated its like a persistent nagging sensation and I feel like "other", its got nothing to do with the conversation or topics I just feel displaced I don't really know how to explain it more than that a displacement. I can answer your next question a little easier, so when it comes to girls, I can connect on an easier level and I often feel like I can be myself easier as all parts of my personality and interests are taken at face value whether they would've been expected from me or not. I also just relate easier with girls because I don't feel uncomfortable there's no disconnect. When I say that it might sound like I'm saying I can identify as one of the girls as I don't feel disconnected, but its not that simple, there are times when I wonder if I'm a transgirl but it just doesn't sit right with me as I feel more neutral, the reason I connect easier with girls is because of that, I'm not judged for my interests and I'm taken at face value which includes the fact that I have no draw, no desire to be a girl. I want to say, I can't know for sure how I will come to perceive myself in the future as my understanding of myself may change so yes, I may decide that the nonbinary label is not 100% right in the future, but at the minute it is who I am as far as my understanding goes, I'm not a girl and I'm definitely not a boy. I honestly don't know how to approach your final question, simply because I never have felt like I belong to the "groups" of being a boy or a girl fully so I can't really say how different one would need to be. It's someone's perception of themselves that matters and the only person who can fully understand their identity is the person themselves, so you just have to take somebody at their word. I know that it can be frustrating not having a clear and decisive explanation but everyone's unique and so everyone's perception of gender identity will differ slightly especially when you equate that to gender constructions in society and how they shape expression. I hope this makes some sort of sense as its hard to put into words and probably sounds a little contradictory which I'm sorry about I've tried to explain it to the best of my ability, but its a part of me, its instinctive not something that I know how to describe as it just is. I really hope this helps as I know its a complicated topic to understand but you want to learn and you sound accepting or at least open so I'm happy to talk

It's so interesting how she didn't address anybody's criticisms, I wonder why that is...