The count of mostly crisco made me heave I was laughing so fucking hard. I wasn't ready! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

@couragekarnga8735

Жыл бұрын

These names are getting more creative!

@e.abrahamovich8981

Жыл бұрын

Treason Cerebro and Orange mission impossible killed it.

@impunitythebagpuss

Жыл бұрын

Too funny!

@janmay7961

Жыл бұрын

Me too, out of all names for the TFG, this is way up there most hilariously creative 😂

@shantoreywilkins651

Жыл бұрын

🎃😂🤣🌝

"I declassified everything" Well we know that's a lie, he never declassified his taxes.

@goahead3995

Жыл бұрын

But but but it's in permanent audit!🤣

@ideagirl

Жыл бұрын

Truth!

@lookissjaxin

Жыл бұрын

Or his school 🏫 grades 🤓; stable genius 😂

@alaric_

Жыл бұрын

Also the numerous lawsuits and paid off porn-stars might beg to differ...

@rosehill9537

Жыл бұрын

He declassified everything......OK so let's the ppl read the taxes records the school grades the evidence from the russia probe and all the NDA's

Not just embarrassed, but super ashamed that he was once the president.

When Life Gets You Down, Put on an old Stephen Colbert clip, to make you Smile. Great Writing, Great Graphics, Great Delivery, Great Team

The person that came up with The Count of Mostly Crisco deserves every good thing in the world.

@abigails4088

Жыл бұрын

100% agree.... left me dead, quite literally... was laughing and the distraction got me killed in my game XD

@zazaranger5

Жыл бұрын

Who ever did write that deserves a big raise

@pamevans8001

Жыл бұрын

that was greatness - damn near spewed my tea!!

@johnsmithe4656

Жыл бұрын

You shouldn't talk that way about Dear Leader, don't you know he's the Second Coming of Shitstain Crust? Next time you see a nasty one all dried out in your drawers because you only shower twice a month, SHOW SOME DAMN RESPECT!

@mk1st

Жыл бұрын

The best😂

If you're not embarrassed by the fact that this man was once the President of the United States, you haven't been listening

@victorarredondo304

Жыл бұрын

Sleepy Joe is the epitemy of embarrasment in this country for his disatrous inflation & ruiining of country.

@95jpeat

Жыл бұрын

Nice try deep state. We know this is an npc

@nugboy420

Жыл бұрын

@Leonaza7 deff have to have your back on this one.

@couragekarnga8735

Жыл бұрын

I'm more than embarrassed; I'm speechless!

@lindakautzman7388

Жыл бұрын

I'm horrified and grieve at the damage he has wrought.

Watching this is sooooo much more effective than cognitive therapy. SOOOOO MUCH BETTER.

A real, real Airhead and REAL Embarrassment to the most powerful Nation on Earth. How did this happen? When I saw him for the first time and after I Heard him, my first thought was...Is this a JOKE? Is this for real? I will totally celebrate ALL the way when he's indicted and thrown in jail!!!!

@mammawlee

6 ай бұрын

I feel like l am in an alternate universe😔

Whoever came up with the “Count of Mostly Crisco is a genius.”

@danmcgriff1421

Жыл бұрын

Thank you my son came up with that you six

@vickywitton1008

Жыл бұрын

What does it mean?

@marthareis5873

Жыл бұрын

@@vickywitton1008 It's a lard play on the famous story, "The Count of Monte Cristo."

@anderjpoo

Жыл бұрын

@@marthareis5873 see what you did there ,........ clever!

@ZenFrequency111

Жыл бұрын

Man I hollered

The funny thing in all this, is that someone at Fox thought it was a good idea to air that. 🤣

@couragekarnga8735

Жыл бұрын

All for the base!

@csmith563

Жыл бұрын

@@couragekarnga8735 IKR🤣

@superluminalprobabilityclo6884

Жыл бұрын

The base of red hats will parrot it forever

@MDRUSHCRUSH

Жыл бұрын

I fear the base will still see him as innocent. Their stupidity is frightening

@pawala7

Жыл бұрын

They know their audience will take whatever bullcrap he spits out as law and gospel.

This is one of the best monologues ever! ❤️👍🏻

Mr Colbert, you made the last years of Donald Trump and covid bearable. Without your humor and ability to make us laugh we couldn't have made or continue to make it through. So,Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Thank you for everything, Stephen. And to the unspoken heroes of your crew too!

@victorarredondo304

Жыл бұрын

the crew that insisted in the capitol on jan 6???

@SRowntree

Жыл бұрын

@@victorarredondo304 Trumpanzees are camping out on Late Show videos waiting to screech

@couragekarnga8735

Жыл бұрын

I anticipated this, and was not disappointed! Love ya, SC!

@joshuawilson5434

Жыл бұрын

@@victorarredondo304 dude, spell check.

@tomnalley3644

Жыл бұрын

Colbert is a commiecrat just like the rest of the Hollywood trash.

"I think they took my will....." Anyone else hoping he was going to finish that sentence with "to live"?

@couragekarnga8735

Жыл бұрын

Oh, great minds think alike!

@HairynosedWombat163

Жыл бұрын

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

@inlandempress4587

Жыл бұрын

completely.

@jenniferstone2975

Жыл бұрын

😂😂😂 Yes!! 😂😂😂

@NcNephite

Жыл бұрын

😂

Someone please rescue that poor squirrel 🤣🤣🤣

A flawless performance! Johnny Carson would concede the throne! Thank you to Colbert and his writers for this MASTERPIECE

@kidd_gallahad2512

Жыл бұрын

I know your type. The kind who if you hand them shot they think its perfume. Colbert is a wannabee, a disgusting left wing propagandist. Carson would piss on him.

@JohnWarner-lu8rq

Жыл бұрын

What are you smoking?

@kidd_gallahad2512

Жыл бұрын

Colbert is a snot. You are a bot.

@bwenluck9812

Жыл бұрын

​@@JohnWarner-lu8rq It's stood the test of time, John.... 😉

@JohnWarner-lu8rq

Жыл бұрын

@@bwenluck9812 Yeah.... BS has been around for quite some time.

"The Count of Mostly Crisco", I believe that's one of my favorites so far. Stephen Colbert has helped me through these extremely trying times. His wit, charm, compassion and empathy are only a handful of what makes him such a decent and moral man. Not to mention I can't stop laughing every time I watch him. Big love for him.🤣😘❤

Count of Mostly Crisco. Who ever came up with that one deserves a raise. You are in your monologue and I am still giggling about this one. Time to rewind

@o.b.7217

Жыл бұрын

It's from Twitter. Not from the staff.

@lcritter

Жыл бұрын

Earlier tonight I heard Michael cohen call it Mara-lardo. So mostly Crisco had me roaring .

@sjs9698

Жыл бұрын

@@o.b.7217 well find out who their employer is & call them. they deserve a raise ^^

@Sig2423

Жыл бұрын

I have a new favourite 🤣🤣🤣

@ideagirl

Жыл бұрын

Give him a double raise!

This is the best one Steve 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I can't stop laughing 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I am so thankful for people like Stephen Colbert.

"There is nothing either classified nor declassified but thinking makes it so." ~Donald Shakespeare

@id10t98

Жыл бұрын

Be classified or not be classified, that is the question!

@commentz-1

Жыл бұрын

🤣😂🤣😂

@justsaying14

Жыл бұрын

A document, declassified would read as sweet.

@pennydavis9494

Жыл бұрын

Love the nickname

@rockshowness9446

Ай бұрын

'Whether 'tis nobler... to suffer... outrageous fortune or to take up arms against a sea of troubles, and by VOTING HIM OUT end them ?

"Declassified them.....with his Mind !!!" That one really got me. Sometimes the writing and Colbert's delivery gets me almost hollering on the floor. Thank You! These gems and everthing y'all do keep me closer to sanity. Don't stop!

@adriennegormley9358

Жыл бұрын

I'm still on board with the people who insist that Biden can reclassify them the same way.

@KGershkoff

Жыл бұрын

There's a Professor Charles Xavier joke in there somewhere.

@tma2001

Жыл бұрын

for such a classy guy he sure does de-classify everything he touches!

@WhiteFangofWar

Жыл бұрын

@@tma2001 Yes everything that comes into contact with him inevitably loses its' class.

@fortunateson7852

Жыл бұрын

Yeah when he says that, what does Hannity think? I mean seriously, he HAS to think that’s crazy. I mean how do you hear those things and not doubt his sanity? I know he criticises Biden but my God what a mess. To be fair this is exactly why we need some younger men in these positions. I mean even men in their fifties are thirty years younger.

It's really a shame what he's done to the position

"Filet-o-fish smothered in ketchup" 😂😂😂😂

Stephen's monologue was on fire! He roasted every single one of those excuses to perfection.

@7027flowers

Жыл бұрын

💯🤣

@ludwinghurtado5032

Жыл бұрын

Yes he did! This is viral content! Well all his material is viral really but this deserves virality!

@smac9273

Жыл бұрын

It’s too bad his best monologues are the ones making fun of Trump.

@smac9273

Жыл бұрын

@@Nate-.- what? Just saying it would be nice if Trump just went away and we rarely heard about him again in the monologues.

@Surge1077

Жыл бұрын

The comparison of Judge Cannon to the girl from the Ring movies KILLED ME!

So I guess the only secret documents left are his tax returns. 🙄

@kimweaver1252

Жыл бұрын

Nope, the prosecution got those a year or so ago. I'm guessing they played into the charges and may result in indictments on federal charges.

@TheLemon333

Жыл бұрын

I think that they are just not allowed to be public yet.

@dingobat2389

Жыл бұрын

Good one!

@couragekarnga8735

Жыл бұрын

Biden should declassify them with his mind!

@thisbushnell2012

Жыл бұрын

Mazars delivered them up after extracting themselves from the orange turd's employ.

It's about time real legal minds got it right.

"Much Clothing! Many shirt. VERY PANT. Much Sock." XD Doge is Proud of Colbert, Memeing like a boss.

It didn't occur to me that I could laugh out loud (very loudly) about all the absurd ridiculousness going on with the count of mostly crisco! 🤣😂😅🤣😂😅 Thank you sooo very much!! You and your team are amazing!!!

@TheLemon333

Жыл бұрын

They were sent in by the public a while back on Twitter.

@johnhipp8267

Жыл бұрын

The count of mostly crisco, there's a new one. I like it.

The Count of mostly Crisco had me laughing far more than it should have. Probably one of the best you've picked!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

@commonsense571

Жыл бұрын

OKR?!! 😂😂

Stepdad who ran over the hamster... 🤣 Thanks for the laughs, Stephen, you really had a field day (and we did as well)!

Stephen always knows how to deliver news.

I love how they are still sharing creative names generated by Twitter users. All these names later and they still get a lot of laughs.

@jeffbaer5851

Жыл бұрын

When the nightmare is over, there needs to be a GIGANTIC mural with every name used, in order. The tourism would make whatever town it's in into a new Vegas.

@conwaymj88

Жыл бұрын

I like using them too. anything to keep that dirty fkers' name out of my mouth

@mlr4524

Жыл бұрын

I think you can still suggest names on Twitter using the hashtag #HeWhoShallBeNamed and #Colbert etc. I've already forgotten what mine were as it was so long ago lol.

@gamepapa1211

Жыл бұрын

I wanted to submit "Eric's Dad" but someone beat me to it. Ah well.

@kathyastrom1315

Жыл бұрын

The Count of Mostly Crisco is really one of the best ones yet!

A man who makes anyone who works with him sign an NDA, probably has a vague idea of how illegal this is.

@theactualbajmahal833

Жыл бұрын

Nah, that's just about his actual finger lengths.

@robertcampomizzi7988

Жыл бұрын

There are legitimate uses for NDA. His were less than admirable. I will NOT dispute that part.

@seanbrockest3888

Жыл бұрын

Always remember that an NDA is immediately invalid when any crime is involved.

@lancecarona2554

Жыл бұрын

Trump is guilty AF !

@gamepapa1211

Жыл бұрын

To be fair, NDAs are also used for things like movie or government contracts. But if the NDA is in a legal contract, yeah that's pretty shady.

What a brilliant monolog. Congratulations to everyone who contributed to it.

@santiagohaas7439

Жыл бұрын

- 'Congrats' to the Don !!!!!!!!!

@viralmemes9213

Жыл бұрын

yeah i wonder if he will say the same for Biden considering he has classified documents in his garage and was never a president.

@communitygardener17

10 ай бұрын

​@@santiagohaas7439D John.

You don't have to be partisan to cringe at how he acts. He's like 77 years old, my 17 year old daughter acts more mature than this dude. And to think, that there's actually people that defend him, still.

Your phrases about the “much clothing “ had me crying😂

@customer5032

Жыл бұрын

"such socks." 🤣

@AngelaKSellsHomes

Жыл бұрын

They act like biden is incoherent. 🤣 Of course he does have that...a big brain. 🧠

@kingalfred2014

Жыл бұрын

@@customer5032 Wow

Just...incredible. Every time you think he can't sink any lower he breaks out the jackhammer and screams "I NEED A NEW SUB-BASEMENT!"

@kimweaver1252

Жыл бұрын

Hands the jackhammer to a contractor, whom he never pays.

@couragekarnga8735

Жыл бұрын

And then refuses to pay the contractors!

@danmcgriff1421

Жыл бұрын

Joe's old you know they can't leave him alone you shouldn't make fun of old people someday we'll all be there hopefully

@johnhipp8267

Жыл бұрын

@@danmcgriff1421 What are you even rambling about?

@derekstein6193

Жыл бұрын

@@johnhipp8267 I think he is trying to treat the OP as if he/she was referring to Biden instead of Agent Orange. Just another deflection and a failed attempt at a "gotcha" quip. A troll or self-deluded fool, either way Dan Mcgriff is best ignored.

I love you!!!! :) You deserve an award for this episode. OMG! Someone arrest him already!

Thank you Steven and Staff for the laughs early in the morning! Love ya!

This judge Cannon now has huge egg on her face. How would anyone have any confidence in any of her rulings or judgements from today? She can thank the chump for destroying her short lived reputation and career though.

@pickledragonrebel

Жыл бұрын

She did this to herself she knew exactly what she was doing.

@ProjectFlashlight612

Жыл бұрын

Het judgments are like the Star Wars novels - not Cannon.

@andyruse4670

Жыл бұрын

She’s in a for life position. Until and unless she’s impeached, there’s zero reason for her to feel regret for acting like his puppet.

@kenhoward3512

Жыл бұрын

@@pickledragonrebel Trump appointed her to be a judge from a list provided by the far-right-wing Federalist Society. Yes, she knew what she was doing - and will likely continue doing it.

@co7314

Жыл бұрын

She should be disbarred

Omfg the count of mostly crisco…A++++++ that was chefs kiss perfect!

By far the Best, and Super Funny monologue Ever. ❤

Amazing show ! Thank you Mr.Stephen Colbert

5:48 He must have confused the presidency with an absolute monarchy. And even then people can't act on the monarch's thoughts.

Sometimes when I think he can’t be that stupid or brazenly criminal, he gets stupider and more brazen with his crimes

@couragekarnga8735

Жыл бұрын

I almost feel sorry for his lawyers.

@SRowntree

Жыл бұрын

@@couragekarnga8735 The smart ones bailed already. That's why his current ones were picked up from off the freeway.

@lindaleelaw5277

Жыл бұрын

@@SRowntree from the off ramp at Compton ?

@atiredfloridian777

Жыл бұрын

IKR? You think he can't top himself and then he DOES.

@gamepapa1211

Жыл бұрын

I think his loyal cult followers are even stupider and more brazen with their crimes. They took one look at this Orange Dumpster Fire of a garbage human being who constantly swindled them out of their money and actively tried to destroy his own country and STILL go, "Yep! That's my man for 2024!"

Omg the squirrel 🐿 😂😂😂 This was a great monologue!

This was brilliant. I laughed my ass off. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

*"When you're the president, they let you do it. You can do anything. Declassify documents by thought. You can do anything."*

@c.l.freeman7654

Жыл бұрын

Sounds just like where we started years ago. "When you are a star? You can do anything. You can grab them by the pu**y and they just let you do it"

@KatKrueger

Жыл бұрын

Yeah, including grabbing women by the…

@donaldbabbitt1214

Жыл бұрын

Well played!

@latinaintexas2872

Жыл бұрын

You know I can Wiggle my NOSE and become 50 Years Younger!!! I'm Sure he can't do that!🤣😂💃

@kingjamos2422

Жыл бұрын

@@latinaintexas2872 Noice. When I scratch my ass, I get super strength. Super strength is awesome and all, but it doesn't mean much once you turn 70. I'm a long time away from that, however I also increase in age when I blink!

It is good to see that some judges wants to keep their law licenses...

@jeremybenoit759

Жыл бұрын

Ya and so they do what the democrats tell them

@skiks1853

Жыл бұрын

@@jeremybenoit759 Trump could try not lying and committing crimes. He'd be better off.

@Rory-442

Жыл бұрын

@@jeremybenoit759 you hate the law dont ya

@ThePoppinger

Жыл бұрын

@@jeremybenoit759 Yeah they should do what the criminal wants them to do!

@SHARKAST1C

Жыл бұрын

@@jeremybenoit759 supporting treason isn't a good look, but go off.

I wonder what Trump has on Hannity. Nobody at Fox News wants to talk to him, so he calls up Hannity for an interview. Hannity looked so uncomfortable, and he tries to guide Trump into what to say.

The fact he had that bat waiting as if he had a run in with the squirrel before made it even funnier 🐿️ 😂

Bonus points: every single one of Mar-a-Lardo's inner circle, including his son, his in-laws, and his other son he forgot existed, all rose up to defend him on the usual spots. They all must be kicking themselves when they saw him go on Fox to practically admit that he's a liar.

@jefschobert9765

Жыл бұрын

MINDFREAK!! He thought he’d still be president after the election while he was president so he still is president because he thinks he is.

@kittimcconnell2633

Жыл бұрын

They've never seemed to regret all the other times he's blustered out an admission of guilt

@CCR971

Жыл бұрын

All the in-laws are watching their future alimony go up in flames. How depressing it must be to find out the lying pigs you've been sleeping with for their money are about to be bankrupt. Yes ladies, you sold yourselves for nothing. They're all going to end up destitute, unemployed and unemployable. 🤣 🤣

@Chompchompyerded

Жыл бұрын

This seems like one of those times where the inlaws are also outlaws.

@kathytourtillott9361

Жыл бұрын

One can only hope they are . . And that will lead to rethinking all their life choices

That Trump photo with that outfit made me hit the floor dead with laughter.

@kenotube3160

Жыл бұрын

Don’t worry. That cable is rated to hold 50 tons.

@karenconroy-3dogma

Жыл бұрын

Need to bleach my eyes

@Echo81Rumple83

Жыл бұрын

Someone's using their photomanip skills into good use 😆

@indigowolf556

Жыл бұрын

Baby got back indeed 😂

@rainbowprism6242

Жыл бұрын

The guy should have looked like a blimp. They photoshopped him too generously

This is absolute gold. I keep coming back for more laughs. Thanks be to Quob for giving us the Dontard.

Thank you Stephen. Comic gold. Could we have possibly had a dumber president. I mean really? I doubt it.

@starsalign9336

Жыл бұрын

And more criminal president? I doubt that, too.

@jeremycurtis2334

Жыл бұрын

I don’t know. If anything TFG has taught me is my imagination does not go far enough. Just when I think it’s reached the edge he proves me wrong. I’ve read (a few times) and studied the Inferno and Paradise Lost at a collegiate level. Didn’t really fathom how far down that really went. But that means we could have dumber and more criminal possibilities. He might be the worst now, but what I thought was the worst before him, he proved me wrong. Until now, none more dumb or criminal. However, can it go worse? Didn’t think so before, but now maybe possibly….

@johntoddtompkins3898

11 ай бұрын

Let's all pray it doesn't get worse that Trump. @@jeremycurtis2334

That one made me bust out laughing. "The Count of mostly Crisco" best nickname yet

@ttacking_you

Жыл бұрын

I kinda liked _the flabrador deceiver_

@akaiclone02

Жыл бұрын

@@ttacking_you tangerine dream was good to

@ttacking_you

Жыл бұрын

@@akaiclone02 then, of course, there's the P.O.S.otus (Kimmel)

Stephen and this crew always knock the monologue out of the park.

@aryamehr2182

Жыл бұрын

Jon Stewart is still the GOAT

@pierreclifton1865

Жыл бұрын

bot

@AngelaKSellsHomes

Жыл бұрын

Yes they do...thankfully! I have to get my politics from comedy or I would probably cry. lol

@julieroberts9255

Жыл бұрын

TONIGHT WAS THE BEST OF ALL TIME!!

@doodooheadpleighboy4255

Жыл бұрын

Someone knocked his ear out of the park. 😂😂😂

I have watched this over 10 times & it seems new each time & I scream laughing each time!

He confused Hannity, when Hannity already comes pre-confused! 🤣🤣🤣 {:o:O:}

THIS WAS ONE OF COLBERT'S BEST NIGHTS!! I LOVED IT!!

@juanm.buentello4816

Жыл бұрын

I agree with you 💯%🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

@christopherbedford9897

Жыл бұрын

I was just thinking this monologue contrasts strongly with so many others that are funny, sure, but not laugh-out-loud funny like you hear studio audiences do which always strikes me as super fake laughter. This was genuine belly-laugh stuff.

@williambarger8043

Жыл бұрын

Remember, putin's c-ck holster.

@jeangillespie1173

Жыл бұрын

Absolutely...

So now he thinks the FBI was looking for Hillary’s emails…at Mara Lago??? Seriously?

@fzghbkhvgfhhgv3524

Жыл бұрын

Then trump Stole Hilary’s email or maybe he was the one stealing Hilary’s email 😂😂

@kenotube3160

Жыл бұрын

Yes, her emails were under the welcome mat.

@arcturionblade1077

Жыл бұрын

It's all projection, distraction and deflection at this point. A whole gish gallup streaming firehose of nonstop nonsense to confuse and whip up his braindead base with a kabuki theater performance of feigned perpetual victimhood. Donnie Deutschbag is desperate and has nothing left but lies to dish out.

@cc1k435

Жыл бұрын

He seemed to be trying to sort out a new whopper to tell on the spot. 😆

@gloomyblackfur399

Жыл бұрын

He said it for a simple reason--it's always worked for him in the past. Not just in the 2016 election, but remember the "Surrender Summit" with Putin? He doesn't understand why it worked for him then, he just knows it did. So why not try it now?

I almost peed from laughing at the screaming squirrel guy.

Stephen, you and your team keep getting better and better. Thank you for the laughs. I also caught that Rodney Dangerfield shoulder shrug, it made me think how he would throw all this bs into his acts. Keep them coming?

Absolute classic! I have waited till 05:15 here in the UK to hear you rip hell out of the king of morons!! How can someone like trumpet snr be leader of a political party? Thanks Stephen for my morning dose of hysterics!!

@chicop8514

Жыл бұрын

That’s a good thing now we really know who the dumbAss ppl are lol

@catmomjewett

Жыл бұрын

The boy is a national treasure!

@pm6693

Жыл бұрын

Yep, me, too. Stephen and Seth Meyers set me up for the day...😊..!

@joannbeiser4907

Жыл бұрын

Yet there are people that believe he was the winner of the election and will fight again if he runs and loses! Scary, very scary!

@amyelizabeth529

Жыл бұрын

Good Morning, UK 🇬🇧 😊!

I love the fact you won't even write the weird orange guys name. ❤

@talk3194

Жыл бұрын

Orange Jesus, is his name, and the GOP are to blame, because they all went insane, committing crime for power and fame.

@thisbushnell2012

Жыл бұрын

its a family alias. the Drumpfs have been grifting since before arriving on these shores.

@danmcgriff1421

Жыл бұрын

That's how far up into your head he is you can't even talk normally you can't even bring yourself to mention his name I'm assuming you're a grown man Mike act like it

@alrightyru

Жыл бұрын

@@danmcgriff1421 why? It's much more fun this way!

@freema9246

Жыл бұрын

I'm OK if he is here and forever more named crisco🥴

It doesn’t matter if the documents are declassified or not. A former President can’t remove any documents from the White House.

He needs to be indicted! Why why why is Donald Trump above the law! This should be done immediately! Let’s get moving people!

Everyone seems to have missed it, he also admitted that there are documents in his other properties. That needs attention right now!

@vetgirl71

Жыл бұрын

Your absolutely right! 🎯 #45 actually admitted on national tv that he took those classified documents from the WH! 👏🏾👏🏾 This man is a habitual liar and maniac! 🙄🤷🏾‍♀️

@j.s.669

Жыл бұрын

Good to know!

@selalewow

Жыл бұрын

Mayhaps buried near the first hole ay Bedminster?

@YM-zz5qq

Жыл бұрын

There’s even a video of him moving boxes onto a plane to take them to his other property. 😱 imagine that!

@blackbird5634

Жыл бұрын

Joy Reid did a show on that line last night.

"I declassified it with my mind" ~ The Tangerine Wizard of Mar-o-Lago

Laughter is the best medicine. It's so sad the American people are going through this craziness with Trump. Keep the laughs coming❤

I watched this a few times, laughed hard on each watch.... Stephen is beyond hilarious 😂

That was a great monologue. Stephen was on point and on fire. Good job.

@tomnalley3644

Жыл бұрын

Colbert a communist snake.

@elisabethvalade9866

Жыл бұрын

Someone wrote VERY GOOD LINES for tonight.

@kiashlan

Жыл бұрын

Agreed.. I’m still laughing about it after the fact.

@elisabethvalade9866

Жыл бұрын

@@kiashlan ME TOO!!

@Plantbliss

Жыл бұрын

He was 🔥tonight. This will go down as one of Colbert’s best!

I'm not celebrating until I see concrete results.

"Stephen.... Much Love from the UK!!.....I LOVE your sense of humour!!. I thought our politics here in Britain was nuts!!!. Thanks for making me Laugh so much, i nearly wet myself!!!".

THIS MAN HAS TARNISHED THE HIGHEST OFFICE IN THE LAND. HIDING THE WILL SO HE WOULDN'T HAVE TO PAY UP. STOP THE TRAIN AND LET ME OFF!

You are on fire tonight Stephen! So far you're the only one of the other late show host and a KZread channel that show the clipping where he said there were clothes in the FBI boxes. Oh my God I can't believe we survived 4 years of this 🙄

Wow, this monologue was awesome. Thanks to everyone on the Late Show for making all this insanity bearable.

@barbaraschuld8206

Жыл бұрын

Absolutely! 🤪😂😆🤣🤪💙

@riparianlife97701

Жыл бұрын

I still muted Trump.

@darrenkirsch4870

Жыл бұрын

Agreed! Also, do you think the agents who went in to Mar a Lago were actually in league with the Thalmor? 👀😂

@ntandosekay

Жыл бұрын

I concur👌🏾

@MasterSkyrim1000

Жыл бұрын

@@darrenkirsch4870 Why wouldn't they be? The Thalmor are behind just about everything! :)

Being able to replicate that man's screaming was icing on a cake.

@kidd_gallahad2512

Жыл бұрын

WTF?

THANK YOU for alternate names! I never want to hear T’s name again and Count of mostly Crisco is SO on the nose; I didn’t think anything could beat Velveeta Voldemort but this comes super close, might be a tie

By thinking about disclassification and saying the doc are disclassifid, could he be setting up a insanity defense?

@LetsBeCivilShallWe

Жыл бұрын

Yours is the first comment I’ve seen that posits that argument, and it’s honestly the only one I’ve seen that makes _any_ sense.

@elisabethvalade9866

Жыл бұрын

@@LetsBeCivilShallWe But he KNEW he was wrong in having them there. That's why he hid them, and denied, denied, and denied when they asked for them in the FIRST PLACE. And the SECOND PLACE. If you know you have done wrong, then you CANNOT be adjudged crazy.

@pdoggo64

Жыл бұрын

Regardless of whether that's his plan, if they put him on trial, the jury could easily come to the conclusion that he "ain't right in the head"... Since he obviously isn't. .

"45" was "thinking about" declassifying each document as he was holding them out to be photographed by foreign buyers?

@danburnes722

Жыл бұрын

Or extorting Macron

Awesome monologue. I'm so glad Stephen is back. (The writers must have been writing jokes on their off time.) It was great. My dad had an outdoor squirrel that he shared his peanuts with. It would run up his arm to get the nut. It was cute. My Godfather had a squirrel for many years. Simon was a great pet, until he got very old, and became violent. Squirrels are fast. They can run up one side of you, bitting the whole way, and run down your other side, bitting everywhere, before you have time to react. If this guy has squirrels that have become habitual "guests", he is acting appropriately. Squirrels can become vicious, and we don't move fast enough to be able to protect ourselves from them. Poor guy. It's embarrassing, but I've done the very same thing, complete with baseball bat, jumping on a desk, and screaming...all of it. I get it. Been there. Done that. It's real, folks. Be thankful it isn't you. (squirrels are not good pets. They are unpredictable.) It sure makes great late night, though. Thanks Stephen.

We are going to be absolutely disappointed by the final outcome.

The former disgrace in chief does this every time he's in trouble. He throws out every excuse he can think of even if those excuses contradict each other. "They raided my home and took my documents...I didn't take any documents....those documents were planted by the FBI...those documents were never classified....I declassified them all magically when I took them....also those documents were clothes..."

@bobrisse9823

Жыл бұрын

It's called DELAY! Trump tactic on display. Capitalism, the media, US justice, evangelicals, and MAGAS have fucked US and the world up. MAGAS, evangelicals, the media, US courts, and corporatism at this point truly do not understand REAL AMERICANS! We despise your MAGA, fake Christian, and media asses; your republican reps are on the wrong side. Republicans (liars, cheaters, and thieves) are dinosaurs; let them rot in their own infernal bigotry. US will be there for ALL of US no matter what shenanigans any MAGA, US court, evangelical meat head, or media talking head spouts. TRUMP was not your savior; he brought out all the hatred, bigotry, and greed republicans have to offer US and MAGAS, evangelical meat heads, or media talking heads failed to deliver anything but hate, bigotry, and greed! The progeny of US are already facing a world of grief. I encourage US to remember that republicans have not voted for any legislation that would protect US, our progeny, or the world. Do not vote “R”. US and “Homie” don't play that game!

@benwu7980

Жыл бұрын

Colbert's analogy to scattershot and fridge magnets is quite apt, or Neil deGrasse Tyson's quote "It becomes truth, simply because it got repeated so many times." Another thing he said to Hannity was that after magacally declassifying document, that he sent them *everywhere* I almost feel sorry for his lawyers for their jeopardy. It's rather amusing that in court, his lawyers are quite surprised at being asked the most obvious questions. Reminds me of a sketch Key & Peele did, called "Rap Album Confessions"

@CopingwithGrattitude

Жыл бұрын

Word salad…common trait of the personality disorder.

@YM-zz5qq

Жыл бұрын

“Such sock”😂

@kellir.747

Жыл бұрын

Spot on!

This was probably the best monologue for the show in many months. I'm still laughing my ass off at the sound effects for the Jedi mind tricks.

@tessH

Жыл бұрын

That was a huge lol the high pitched tone cracked me up too !

@franciscocruzjr5721

Жыл бұрын

Nemes1; I laughing. Worst yet, the Mission Impossible 1 parity has been ingrained in my head. I will be the go-to image when I'm feeling down. Couldn't resist taking a screen shot.

@MavicAir1

Жыл бұрын

Watched a Meidas Touch vid where they did it in slow motion and it's so hilarious.

"Martha My Dear" at the end was awesome. Cheers TLSB 😁👍

He declassified everything....except his tax returns.

"The former president then used his "mind" to make dumb words come out of his stupid mouth." 😆🤣😂

@rockshowness9446

Жыл бұрын

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee... 🤓👋 🤣

@davidwright8432

Жыл бұрын

Stephen was being polite, as ever. It wasn't has mouth.

@caseyrayharris.esquire489

Жыл бұрын

Yeah he did classify everything except the JFK documents that were due to be Declassified of. With no logical explanation either

@matthewconrad2908

Жыл бұрын

He also use this "mind" to declassify by "just thinking" ...His mother must have tried to repeatedly restrain his so called "mind" for the good and betterment of mankind and it's own officialdom having been obscured by this foggy fellow and his beloved "mind over matter" jousts with curious onlookers who find him fascinating to bear such a resemblance to apes who have regained their rhythm as workers he molests with his remarkable large orange cranium and puts them"on the spot" for having dealt it out like one of his $5.00 prime rib dinners to further than evaluate the war between various humans who are far more worried that apes are more intelligent than they might appear ...

@ukiitm

Жыл бұрын

@@davidwright8432 What? Guess you got something caught in your mouth.

“The banks should have known I was a liar.” So should every American who voted for him.

@dshepherd107

Жыл бұрын

It doesnt help when you lecture people. Leave it be. Some people grew up different, were desperate for change, & were conned. You’re just adding to the anger & divisiveness. The problems lay at the top, not the bottom where we are. FYI: No I didn’t vote for Trump. I was a Democrat my whole life, until they sold us out by supporting the wishes of the billionaires over us. We NEED to recognize we’re all Americans… human beings, & look for common ground.

@maryfields1382

Жыл бұрын

Oh, they know. They just won't admit they got fooled. Don the Con has made his living fooling people. So, you got fooled. That should piss you off enough to realize you need to pay more attention going forward. But instead, they double down. I'll never understand.

@raysun6617

Жыл бұрын

They knew and still voted him in.

@steelers6titles

Жыл бұрын

Stop me before I borrow again.

@dshepherd107

Жыл бұрын

@@raysun6617 They didn’t all know. Get around the country much? Have you asked them all? I’ve gotten around the country quite a bit. Sure, there’s a portion of his followers who are racists bigots. They’re not all though. I’ve grown up around overt racism. My point is, how do your words contribute to lessening the divide?

My boss is from the UK... He said "If you or I would have done this, we would be drinking water upside-down for a living."

steve; your best yet - in my many years of being a fan.

The dude has a bat ready and was skittish at every small noise, I believe him when he said he was terrorised by squirrels beforehand.

@justsaying14

Жыл бұрын

You know who has been taken out of action by squirrels?! Thanos 😱

@vincentavangogh3636

Жыл бұрын

Has he tried eating them? Their meat is delicious in stews. Both squirrels and rabbits are scarce in my backyard now... ☹️

A man who pleads the Fifth 400 times might as well admit he’s guilty and save everyone some time. 😅❤😅

Sooooo . . . Hillary's emails were in boxes of PRINTED OUT paper? Sounds like the punchline of a Dilbert cartoon about the pointy haired boss "I didn't read your email because my secretary is out so there's no one to print my emails for me"

It's crazy how so much time has passed and they still talk shit on Trump.

"Sean comes preconfused!"

It's like watching a five year old make up the rules to a game as he is playing it.

@user-kb9cu4rl9z

Жыл бұрын

tRump's been doing that his whole life. Doh. 🤪

@Michelles222

Жыл бұрын

That's how he thinks every minute. He just pops off what his pea brain is "thinking" at that moment. The drugs aren't helping.

@kassiapencek6185

Жыл бұрын

Exactly

@bobrisse9823

Жыл бұрын

Calvinball!

@sophierobinson2738

Жыл бұрын

@@bobrisse9823 You beat me to it! 😂

A couple of days late to the party, but damn did he kill this monologue.

Way too funny! Brilliance at its best. I can do everything (declassify) with just my mind: My Unfavorite Martian👽This is one of the best monologues I have ever seen. Talent way beyond AGT. Stephen is on a roll here. No one can outdo this most brilliant performance. 🎊🏆