Ezra & Esther are in bed, and she notices that he’s worried. “What are you worried about?” she asks. “It’s Morris across the street,” he replies, “I owe him five grand and I’m supposed to pay him back tomorrow, but I don’t have it.” Esther throws off the sheet, goes over to the window, opens it and and shouts, “Morris… Ezra doesn’t have the five grand he owes you.” She shuts the window, gets back into bed and says, “There… let HIM worry.”

@TheSaltydog07

9 ай бұрын

I can't copy this. Oye!

@GodsFavoriteBassPlyr

9 ай бұрын

Yes!

@mordechai-

9 ай бұрын

I'm Jewish and I don't get this.

@fleurdelis7914

28 күн бұрын

My father used to tell this joke 😅

My mum got out of Moscow in 1967 with my dad and 3 other Jews. To this day her favourite story is a Knock Knock joke. I'll try to do it justice. Knock Knock “Who's there?” “The KGB and we ask the questions!”

I thought the end of the joke was that the grandpa said his name is Sitting Shivah

@VCT3333

9 ай бұрын

Hey triple entendre. This is actually even better as it's an South Asian Indian name too! Yours is better.

I laughed because I didn't understand the punchline but knew it had to be funny.

@Steve-wm1ol

9 ай бұрын

It was.

As a Gentile I have no idea why The punch line is funny.

@MrLenoir99

9 ай бұрын

White fish is eminently kosher.

Esther called the local paper in London to put an announcement in the obituaries that her husband had died. “What would you like to write?” asks the clerk. “Nothing too much”, she replies, “Just put ‘Ezra Cohen died’.” The clerk says, “You get six words with the minimum package.” “Oh really?” she replies, “OK put ‘Ezra Cohen died, Volvo for sale.”

A waiter seats a table of old Jewish women. After he serves the meal, he comes back to the table and asks, "Is anything all right?"

@pappy374

22 күн бұрын

"The food here is terrible, and such small portions!"

A Jewish mother gives her grown son two shirts for his birthday. A week later she sees him wearing one of them. She says, "What, you didn't like the other one?"

Elderly Saul and Cile take a walk into Central Park after Temple. Cile sits on a park bench, and Sauly plunks down next to her. Sauly then lifts his arms over his head, stretches, and says, "Oy!" Cile comments, "Sauly, I thought we would not discuss the children."

This is the most Jewish joke i know: Three old Jews are sitting on a bench in a park. One says, "Oy!" The other says "Oy, oy!" The third one says "Oy, oy, oy!" And then the first one asks "Can we please stop talking politics?"

A little seamstress is closing up shop for the night. Coat on, handbag over her arm, she begins walking through the park toward her little flat..... When out jumps a flasher, and pulls his coat wide open... "Psshhh, she says... You call That a lining??"

Ezra goes into a bakery and sees a sign, ‘Cakes - 2 for $1’. He asks the assistant how much one cake is. She tells him 60 cents. He says, “I’ll have the other one.”

That part "he had reservations...sorry that was part of the joke i had to say this..." was awesome

A teacher in a class of 10 year olds tells the class that if they can name the most famous person that ever lived she'll give the winner $10. An Indian kid puts his hand up and says, "Is it Mahatma Gandhi?" The teacher says no. A Muslim kid puts his hand up and says, "Is it the prophet Mohammed?" The teacher says no. A Jewish kid puts his hand up and says, "Is it Jesus Christ?" The teacher says yes - and invites the kid to the front of the class to collect his $10. "Well done Daniel," says the teacher, "But I wouldn't have expected the answer to come from you." "Well..." says the kid, "The truth is we all know it's Moses, but business is business."

Two Gentile businessmen meet. One asks "How's business?" The other replies "Great!"

@mordechai-

9 ай бұрын

Now THAT'S funny!

@alexcampbell3032

9 ай бұрын

@@mordechai- Jerry Seinfeld says that's the Jews favourite joke and only Jews get it until it's explained. See his appearance on Norm Macdonalds podcast from a few years ago.

@jimmylin7233

Күн бұрын

@@alexcampbell3032 I got it immediately when I heard it the first time, but that's because I'm a fan of "Jews kvetching" jokes, like: A group of Jewish women is having lunch at their favorite restaurant. Their waiter stops by their table and ask, "Ladies, is ANYTHING all right?"

@alexcampbell3032

23 сағат бұрын

@@jimmylin7233 Fantastic! 🤣 I didn't get it first time and you can see Norm didn't either! And then there was the exchange between Jerry and Adam!

Very funny, and great delivery!📫

very good. gentile who grew up on Long Island. I totally get it. :)

@bobalper1

9 ай бұрын

thank you

Irving and Moshie are walking together late at night. Irving looks ahead and sees two thugs walking toward them. "Let's get out of here," he whispers to Moishe, "they look like trouble." Moshie agrees. "Yeah, let's run. There's two of them, and we're alone."

Well, that's going in my act!

@bobalper1

9 ай бұрын

thank you

Oy im kvelling ! That was wonderful😊

As a courtesy, pin an explanation of the whitefish in the comments.

@jimmylin7233

Күн бұрын

It's a combination of Jewish-American culture and Native American stereotypes. A stereotypical made-up "Native American" name would follow the pattern of ADJECTIVE + ANIMAL. American Jews often eat whitefish. So the child of a Native American man and a Jewish woman was named White Fish.

@Peter_Riis_DK

Күн бұрын

​@@jimmylin7233 Thanks. 👍

This old-ish Gentile got it!! 🤣

As a catholic i didn't get the joke, it may be regarding to gefilte fisk (fish)?

@alanshaw3699

9 ай бұрын

Fish is often a jewish last name.

@mordechai-

9 ай бұрын

We Jews eat something called white fish. A lot. It has gold skin, but the flesh is white. (There's also white fish salad that you spread on bread, bagels, and rolls.) I personally don't find the joke funny, but there you have it. Unless I'm missing something.

@amos083

7 ай бұрын

@@mordechai-It's probably a New York thing.

@mordechai-

7 ай бұрын

@@amos083 I've lived my entire life in New York. I still didn't find it funny.

Perfect! 10/10

@bobalper1

9 ай бұрын

thank you

I'm a shikse, and I love this joke. Do you know the one about the rabbi and the priest?

@jasonbrabazon4723

8 ай бұрын

So what's to know?...

@mordechai-

7 ай бұрын

@@jasonbrabazon4723 Okay, THAT'S funny!

I guess that will remain quintessential for Jews forever.

I don't get it, can someone explain it?

@mordechai-

9 ай бұрын

We Jews eat something called white fish. A lot. It has gold skin, but the flesh is white. (There's also white fish salad that you spread on bread, bagels, and rolls.) I personally don't find the joke funny, but there you have it. Unless I'm missing something.

@jasonbrabazon4723

8 ай бұрын

But it.s more to it than that: a 'stereotypical' indian name (from the 'heap big pow-wow' school of tropes) woujd be something like Red Cloud or Yellow Eagle. Actually the joke would work better if she announced him as Little Whitefish.

I'm Italian, I absolutely don't get it lol.

@BabaJeez

9 ай бұрын

"Reservation" can mean a low-value area of land left to a Native American tribe, but it can also mean not being comfortable with something. "Whitefish" is a traditional Jewish food, but it kind of sounds like a traditional Native American name, as traditional Native American names often include some type of animal (e.g. "Running Bear").

@ellelawliet1747

9 ай бұрын

@@BabaJeezI did get the reservation part, but I had no idea whitefish was a traditional jewish dish. Thanks for explaining!

I... almost get it.

@mordechai-

9 ай бұрын

We Jews eat something called white fish. A lot. It has gold skin, but the flesh is white. (There's also white fish salad that you spread on bread, bagels, and rolls.) I personally don't find the joke funny, but there you have it. Unless I'm missing something.

@Bobalicious

9 ай бұрын

@@mordechai- I appreciate it.

"And I'm pregnant again, pop. We intend to call her Mayan Goldstein."

I don't get it but I'm a gentile so that must have something to do with it. I'm guessing White Fish has a special meaning.

@RabbiKolakowski

Жыл бұрын

Not really. Just a species of fish that is popular to eat

@jean6872

Жыл бұрын

@@RabbiKolakowski Then I still don't get it except that Whitefish does not sound like a Jewish name. That must be the funny part.

@RabbiKolakowski

Жыл бұрын

@@jean6872 but it sounds like an Indian name

@jean6872

Жыл бұрын

@@RabbiKolakowski Yes it does and it is unlike names we in the West consider Jewish. In this joke the Jewish grandfather of the child was won over partly by hearing that the grandson had been given a Jewish name. The irony does not escape me that at one time in Germany, a name such as Israel or Sarah could mean the difference of life or death. Does this make the joke unfunny, I wonder.

@shlomogmz

Жыл бұрын

It's a reference to gefilte fish which is a white fish older jews eat

I prefer the one about the Jewish kamikaze pilot who crashed his plane into his father's scrapyard. Or the two Jewish gentlemen who were standing and admiring a pretty girl. One of them says: 'I could lend her one'. Well, the old ones are the best!

A Jewish woman is pushing a baby stroller in the park. She comes across another Jewish woman who looks into the stroller and says, “My what a lovely boy you’ve got!” How old is he?” The mother responds, “He’s 9.” The woman says “my that’s awfully old to be pushing a boy in a stroller. At which point the kid in the stroller sits up and says, “hey lady-I’m hurtin’ you??”

There's nothing wrong with being Jewish but bring a hack is.

Not funny

@grizwoldphantasia5005

Жыл бұрын

Bet you can't explain why

@hyena131

10 ай бұрын

@@grizwoldphantasia5005 How about you explain then.

@andrerenault

9 ай бұрын

Explain to the folks at home what whitefish is

@behemoth5344

9 ай бұрын

@@andrerenault How's business, Norm?

@mordechai-

9 ай бұрын

We Jews eat something called white fish. A lot. It has gold skin, but the flesh is white. (There's also white fish salad that you spread on bread, bagels, and rolls.) I personally don't find the joke funny, but there you have it. Unless I'm missing something.@@hyena131

whitefish i laugh!

I don’t get it.

@Steve-wm1ol

9 ай бұрын

I do. My parents always loved whitefish.

@janicemahan4772

8 ай бұрын

​@@Steve-wm1olAshkenazi Jews discovered it in the waters where they lived.