"You have been found guilty and now have a choice. 72 years in federal prison or 4 days in Spiffco camp and tea plantation." "4 days doesnt sound bad at all" "We'll notify the next of kin. NEXT."

@andrewthegreat8864

4 жыл бұрын

It's basically a death sentence to go there.

@Zer-jr2oz

4 жыл бұрын

@Andrew The Great Ah yes, i could drink tea to that

@aliasunknown4879

4 жыл бұрын

Knowing what I know, I would choose Spiffco camp. They have basically the same survival rate mean time away from friends and family is the determining factor.

I love how Spiff has two modes, either treating his workers like shit or having them live in the lap of luxury because there's a lower class to abuse

@anjetto1

2 жыл бұрын

Well, he is british

@mtfgamma6257

Жыл бұрын

its the British way!

I feel like there's a legitimate and genuine critique of privatized prisons buried somewhere in these virtual shenanigans

"Oh what a shame mr. Paul Sexton you're in here for false imprisonment." That'd be where I lost it.

@irrelevant_noob

3 жыл бұрын

Well that part (17:01) was nice, yeah, but for me to completely lose it i needed that night-time masterpiece at 26:12 xD

@shadowrosegaming3566

2 жыл бұрын

@@irrelevant_noob same

Prisoners: I want some beds Spiff:: oh really? Spiff: *makes prisoners live in the post modern nightmare of beds*

@Gamerad360

5 жыл бұрын

Y NOT!

@gostupidgocrazyyy4403

5 жыл бұрын

which they can't access... mmmm... delightfully devilish Spiff!

@LinkTheHero

5 жыл бұрын

Infinite IKEA

@Cenot4ph

5 жыл бұрын

Enjoy your coffee!

@AlexK-sk4qb

5 жыл бұрын

Or the labyrinth of open air toilets.

Judge: "I sentence you to life in prison..." Me: "Oh no" Judge: "... designed by The Spiffing Brit" Me: "OH NO"

@mostcertainlynotmiguelprob4216

5 жыл бұрын

Me: Takes cyanide pill Me: worth

@wanderingbufoon

5 жыл бұрын

"You will be in prison for the rest of your life!" "So like 7 days then?"

@lordscrubugus9897

5 жыл бұрын

**commits deadly loss of health**

@Parker05

5 жыл бұрын

wandering bufoon, that moment when your being sent to juvenile prison, but your parents and you are anti-vaccine. SO RELATABLE! 😂😂😂

@deeros100

5 жыл бұрын

Honestly, prison for 1 day with Spiff is probably a death sentence.

I love the fact that if you actually just dont build any prison cells the prisoners wont do anything, they'll just stand there, cuffed, unmoving, until they die

"Any game with an economy is just a tycoon game in disguise." - The Spiffing Brit, probably

Spif is the type of person to solve world hunger with starvation

@TrueCarthaginian

5 жыл бұрын

...a communist?

@richardojohan3585

5 жыл бұрын

It'sALLaLIE if u really think about it it is true,less people less hungry people

@WarDankEagle

5 жыл бұрын

/insert Irish potato famine joke

@charlesdarwin1564

5 жыл бұрын

It'sALLaLIE unpopular opinion: you could solve it and overpopulation with canabalism

@R.T_Go_Your_Own_Way

5 жыл бұрын

@@charlesdarwin1564 Lets play this game. Who would eat who?. Would the skinny people eat the obese ones, or will the obese ones eat the skinny people ?.

“So apparently you explode into fountains of blood when you starve? I DONT REMEMBER THAT ONE” Spiff are you hiding something?

@tommyspringer3693

5 жыл бұрын

FBI OPEN UP!

@phee4174

5 жыл бұрын

@@tommyspringer3693 But he's British.

@li_ka2

5 жыл бұрын

@@phee4174 FBI = Federal British Intelligence

@phee4174

5 жыл бұрын

@@li_ka2 Ah, That makes sense.

@mandowarrior123

5 жыл бұрын

@@phee4174 we aren't a federation.

Doctor takes a blood sample of spif, "How is this EVEN POSSIBLE? His blood is 75% Yorkshire tea, and 25% British Empire. It's too BRITISH!"

"It turns out human beings actually require food." -Joseph Stalin

@Yo_Soy_Andres_Cuetlachtli

5 жыл бұрын

@Maximus Brutus Well, yes. Communist tradition is more about shooting dissidents and their families, but uncle Ioseb give the Ukranians some good ol' british treatment.

@michaelotero3909

4 жыл бұрын

Andrés Barrios Churchill and the British purposely starved MILLIONS in India. And that’s only the people that died of starvation. Not to mention centuries of brutal colonial exploitation all around the world. BUT COMMIES R BAD rite???!?!?1!1!1

@Yo_Soy_Andres_Cuetlachtli

4 жыл бұрын

@@michaelotero3909 Sure, let's forget about the Great Leap Forward and Holomodor

@youraverageteadrinker2744

4 жыл бұрын

@@Yo_Soy_Andres_Cuetlachtli he just hates tea he must be a coffee lover . There disgusting.

@RoboPutinPresidentinCE

4 жыл бұрын

@@michaelotero3909 The difference is that Britishness isn't an Ideology. The Brits are a people and whatever queen Victoria or Chruchill did (i Hate them both btw) is out of personal gain, its an individual crime committed by the leader of an empire. Stalin justified it with his Ideology.

"I mean, most of them look dead to me, bur if we pump them full of electricity they'll move around enough for the inspectors to think they're prisoners" I am currently dying thank you very much

@Twisted_Code

4 жыл бұрын

Sounds like you also need to be electrically stimulated then! *bzzrrrrrt* Feeling better? okay then, moving on!

@cursedmailman3999

3 жыл бұрын

Just like the prisoners were

@randomincarnate5035

2 жыл бұрын

The prisinors aren't moving, let's motivate them with an eletric shock

You mean Tea Plantation Simulator has a prision mode? Marvelous.

@robertnett9793

5 жыл бұрын

It's obviously a Tea Plantation simulator AND City builder that has a prison mode. Really genious...

@Statusinator

5 жыл бұрын

This is actually the Stock Market Scam mode

@91743

5 жыл бұрын

Did you mean the Prison Community Mod?

@slk7376

5 жыл бұрын

Do you mean Australia mode?

@wilfredwilfred1730

5 жыл бұрын

Yes but its still a bit shaky it doesnt really work and its clear that the game was made for tea an wood plantation tycoon and not a prison game.

Someone should calculate how much prison time Spiff would get just for the crimes he committed in this video alone

@aidanwhite5631

Жыл бұрын

life somewhere between 10 and 10000000000000000000000x over

@lorenztor1990

Жыл бұрын

The death sentence

@johnnythespent5660

Жыл бұрын

All of it.

@MadnessIncVP

5 ай бұрын

It’s 20 deaths at least, for the CEO to dangle the “anybody else dies, you’re toast!” carrot and stick, right? 10 years, for 25 deaths, so 0.4 years per death. You do the maths.

@Editor37_Or_Is_It....

4 ай бұрын

I know how much: Yes

I really enjoyed this version of Fyre Fest Simulator. xD

@stgjavveling9807

4 жыл бұрын

Stereotypo Ha!!

@bradenmorrison9834

4 жыл бұрын

An actually funny original comment, well done lol

@JaredPiTrick

3 жыл бұрын

You misspelled Joe Arpaio simulator.

@SomeoneElse785

3 жыл бұрын

I you u to yum my o u pppppppppppp

@SomeoneElse785

3 жыл бұрын

@@stgjavveling9807 and I uyp have have to be at your p to him that is not what you y ok I’m I pop

Did spiff just build a concentration camp?

@DoofAlmighty

5 жыл бұрын

No, Its a ConcenTEAtion Camp

@ProfessorSyndicateFranklai

5 жыл бұрын

You mean... a prison?

@haaly7245

5 жыл бұрын

@@thespiffingbrit You're not launching unsuspecting patrons from incomplete rides, so no.

@pilot1721

5 жыл бұрын

@@thespiffingbrit involuntary holiday park

@gamingkitsune1947

5 жыл бұрын

Permanent Vacation

A prison with 2000 bunk beads and no cells? ITS AUSTRALIA ALL OVER AGAIN!

@John_Ass

5 жыл бұрын

ouf

@mattizie91

5 жыл бұрын

@@tf-uderpy699 I don't understand, what's the difference between the two?

@robertnett9793

5 жыл бұрын

@@mattizie91: Many of the deadly animals were imported by the Brits for several reasons - first for sports hunting, then to get rid of the animals for sports, then to get rid of the animals they got to get rid of the animals they brought for sport and so on and so forth...

@tellmeninetails5819

5 жыл бұрын

@@robertnett9793 Not exactly right. The brits did import animals for hunting, but it wasn't that they where deadly it was that they where killing the native wildlife and where extrememly competitive which fucked everything up.

"yes we get 2000 **DOLLARS** from the queen herself" wait something doesnt seem *right* with that

@Nxluda

4 жыл бұрын

Obviously this prison is in America. Some prisoners are fat.

@ManJunk269

4 жыл бұрын

@SteelRodent I've noticed that. It's in $ then uses meters for sizes.

@yareyare_dechi

4 жыл бұрын

just pretend they are in Australia, Canada or New Zealand or something

@yareyare_dechi

4 жыл бұрын

@@DefectiveLotus wouldn't have it any other way. All these "republics" seem to be a shit show lately. Plus I'd miss seeing old Liz on my money

@charlescalthrop2535

2 жыл бұрын

It would work if this is an Australian prison.

"in this video spiff accurately simulates the privatised prison system"

@Gfish17

3 жыл бұрын

Entirely by Accident it appears

@Chunkboi

3 жыл бұрын

Or the American public school system.

- No Exploits - Everything is broken *sips tea in confusion*

@AxelGame

5 жыл бұрын

I might not understand what's going on, but at least I have *Yorkshire Tea - most probably the greatest tea I have sipped*

@livedandletdie

5 жыл бұрын

Marvelous, the only thing that would be better than Yorkshire Tea, would be yet another cup of Yorkshire Tea.

@AxelGame

5 жыл бұрын

By the Queen! That sounds like a great idea

@tangytango9198

5 жыл бұрын

To be fair several prisoners starving to death would make you lose the game if Brit enabled failure conditions. He doesn't seem to enable to extra stuff.

@boonies4u

5 жыл бұрын

@@tangytango9198 I'm pretty sure it's enabled by default. He would have disabled it.

The bunk bed exploit can be improved even further! When you clone beds, you can stack them (have 1 tile use 2 halves of a bunk bed instead of 1). Also, instead of removing the whole Dormitory area, just remove the area where the toilet is placed, this way the dormitory still needs a toilet, thus isn't yet finished, meaning the beds don't increase the capacity. Cheers! And good luck making even more money in a shorter time span!

@Oblithian

4 жыл бұрын

I need to bookmark this tutorial. Facillitate me KZread

@Oblithian

4 жыл бұрын

...Of course, now that just sounds sexual. I am inside youtube presently. and now, with youtube content.... there are so many prisoners waiting to enter and you just have to know... ...they won't come quietly.

@rulebritannia8438

3 жыл бұрын

@@Oblithian Innuendo Nice

Oh dear, our prisoners are dying horrifically due to starvation and heatstroke. Alright, not to worry, I'll deal with it once I've finished these luxury executive offices with adjacent tea plantations.

@teddy-beargamer6385

3 жыл бұрын

Kieran Borovac Sounds pretty British to me.

@oreo1749

3 жыл бұрын

@@teddy-beargamer6385 nah, sounds a lot like school.

Why is the Church of the Tea not built in the shape of a T? 0/10, would not colonize.

@livedandletdie

5 жыл бұрын

It should be built in the shape of a delicious cup of tea with a side of biscuits and a portrait of the Queen.

@jessegd6306

5 жыл бұрын

Because then it'd be in the shape of a dick and let's face it, nobody wants a willy in their tea.

@sponge1234ify

5 жыл бұрын

@@jessegd6306 either that's one fancy T lettering, or those are weirdly and worryingly thin balls

@friedmule5403

4 жыл бұрын

It's camouflage, in it's hart it is T-shaped. :-)

Perfectly good bodies...just given away ? Spiff, I would have thought that you, at least, would have understood the value of free organic, home-prepared, fertilizer...

@ShardtheWolf

5 жыл бұрын

Organic: adjective To be full of organs

@robertnett9793

5 жыл бұрын

@@ShardtheWolf: That bodies will be full of organs. At least for a while

@jynxed66six54

5 жыл бұрын

@@robertnett9793 i mean, those other inmates ARE pretty hungry

@sirarietichee7260

5 жыл бұрын

If this was RimWorld, those dying prisoners would be worth millions in harvested organs.

5:50 Spiff, you actually got an easter egg. Namely you got one of the (previous) head devs in your containment facility

Shareholder fraud + crimes against humanity, yup, it's a Spiffing Brit video!

1:29 I'm aghast at this level of sacrilege: The Union Jack is on upside down! I must go and have a sit down, and compose myself with a cup of tea and a digestive biscuit.

@Novasky2007

5 жыл бұрын

That sounds like a brit in distress Quick invert the Flag! Wait a second...

@lutherburgsvik6849

5 жыл бұрын

@@Novasky2007 shh, keep your voice down! You'll give the game away! Don't tell anyone, but under this Swedish visage is really a bowler hat and Victorian moustache.

@SW-81

5 жыл бұрын

How can you tell? Legit question, it looks like the flag is designed to be symmetrical. So I'm curious how you can tell.

@lutherburgsvik6849

5 жыл бұрын

@@SW-81 basically the lower diagonal red line that closest to the flag pole should have a thicker white line *above* it, not below it. To be fair, it's easy to see how people make the mistake given it's seemingly symetrical design. Especially when it's compared to, say, the Welsh Dragon, or US Stars and Bars. Here's a graphic with bith the correct and incorrect way to fly the Union Jack: image.slidesharecdn.com/thebritishflag-151001224626-lva1-app6892/95/the-union-jack-16-638.jpg?cb=1443739974

I hadn't thought of that method of abusing the share system. I used to sell all my shares, take out a huge load, buy back my shares, and then pay off the loan. I liked that method because it made me felt like I was moving money around to cheat investors which sounds a lot like actual real life wall street.

As a former correctional officer in a maximum security prison, I am 16 minutes into this video and completely stressed the hell out XD I love it, mate. Keep up the great work lol

@MadnessIncVP

5 ай бұрын

I mean, you’ll be used to being that kind of stressed, with how little you were paid.

"hey i was told to come here for imprisonment?" oh yes well actually we are closed, please go about your life until we are ready to open. "ummm okay???"

Hey Spiff, How many hours a week do you spend looking at stock images a week? Just curious...

@thetizzleforshizzle

4 жыл бұрын

I've thought this same thing myself hahahaha

@HDTomo

4 жыл бұрын

No they're spiffco images

It's a perfectly balanced game with no exploits. *_Just kidding, everything is broken_*

@porx

5 жыл бұрын

Why do I see you in the comments of almost every video I watch ._.

@mardu5847

5 жыл бұрын

That is, in fact, the title of the video.

@jessegd6306

5 жыл бұрын

It's a balanced exploits perfectly with no game.

The government in this vid is just like “you know what it’s not ethical but it sure as hell works”

Those prisoners never arrived at the jail. Must have been a mistake in the paper work

Hellllo there Spiff, I've herd of a perfectly balanced ability in Civ 6 as Hungary. Where you gain 2 envoys every time you levy a City-states army. And given how tradable Coal is in the game I figure you could make the sun once again never set on the Briti-(cough) Hungarian empire.

Exploits game. Inadvertently sums up the british governments approach to the current housing crisis in the UK.

@Hoologramek

5 жыл бұрын

So basically Brits exploited life?

You can tell he really loves England when he recreates the South Sea Bubble.

@evanstrong6239

2 жыл бұрын

Man that was one of the weirdest things in history

@zacharytang3840

Жыл бұрын

It was walpole wasn’t it

Well now we need a battle. Spiff vs. a prison architect speedrunner and several other players; first to a billion wins.

@Editor37_Or_Is_It....

4 ай бұрын

Only one billion???

Spiff - "I won't be making tea plantation today." *literally 10 minutes later...* Spiff - "Look at us, it's day 7 and I'm growing a tea plantation."

I just found you in the past few weeks but you have become 1 of my top 5 Fav KZreadrs

@m.d.9277

5 жыл бұрын

Ahh a new recruit

@AromaticSloppyWetInvitingHole

5 жыл бұрын

who are the other 4

@AlchemyStillExists

5 жыл бұрын

@@AromaticSloppyWetInvitingHole MiniLadd, UpIsNotJump, WeegeePlays, and Shammy

@shadowhands3321

5 жыл бұрын

its so refreshing dark british humor...hadnt seen such for a while....love it too^^

@NoArtisticLimitation

5 жыл бұрын

Same here!

Technically you said no tea plantations *today* on day one and started planting them on day seven.

@SorowFame

4 жыл бұрын

You can't just go cold turkey on making tea plantations, you've got to take it slowly.

@VitorEmanuelOliver

4 жыл бұрын

On the seventh day He rested

Alternate Title Name: "How to use Insider Trading to Scam Investors in Prison Architect"

Spiff’s life is a perfectly balanced game with no exploits.

Today's Episode: Spiff gets away with insider trading.

I actually got a hard laugh at this video. Really funny stuff. Share Fraud everywhere, and then hundreds of prisoners dying and nobody bats an eye. Made my day

I can’t believe I genuinely just watched a guy build bunk beds for half an hour and actually enjoyed... now this is comedy

Hi Spliff. I been going through a really difficult time in life and whenever I play one of your videos I instantly feel better, your really helping me get through. Thank you.

_Wait?! Human beings need food?_ *The USSR wants to know your location*

@gamingkitsune1947

5 жыл бұрын

I thought humans use synthesis

@mandowarrior123

5 жыл бұрын

Being genetically similar lysencko says women can give birth to livestock to feed the hungry.

@fluffyshabba6423

5 жыл бұрын

This is OUR food!

@paulsilagi4783

5 жыл бұрын

*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK* KGB OPEN UP!!! *Door immediately gets kicked down and a lot of KGB guys flood in*

@geofff.3343

5 жыл бұрын

@@raptornugget5385 They also starved the Ukraine and had years of famine from failed agriculture policies.

British government coming to see why all the prisoners are dying at such a rapid rate Sees the tea plantation British government: looks fine to me

26:27 i died at the lovely pattern of lights out there SEND HELP!

@h-Films

3 жыл бұрын

xp

Also, holy hell this channel grew fast, really, it feels like you barely had 50k yesterday...... they grow up so fast...

@SimonClarkstone

5 жыл бұрын

KZread is a perfectly balanced game with no exploits.

"as we approach day six, the prisoners have been in here for almost 24 hours." what planet is this on

I like how half the exploits are just committing fraud

so basically share price manipulation is the most efficient way to make money. amazing how realistic this game is. I never would have expected this.

Why does spiff turn any game that allows prisoners and farming into an Australia Simulator?

@katanah3195

5 ай бұрын

Because he's British and that's what Brits do when given a bit of power.

My like goes specifically to the addendum about the passed-away pet. Well said!

"The finest prison possible" *Shows a room that's better than my room*

Not gonna lie, when The Spiffing Brit told me to get a cup of tea, I glanced at the one I had already finished drinking. And so, I went to grab some more.

i dont think that guard could do it alone but if it were 100 stat man they would just accept their fate and give up on being disobedient

Securities fraud: check Next one up: Racketeering? Sent from my Schitte phone

Lol as he said “grab yourself a warm cup of tea” I was making my coffee

That message at the end was really touching and beautiful.

Welcome back Spiff!!! You were missed

You wouldn't be the first Brit to mess with share prices at this level

Absolutely legendary :) was cracking up laughing. Pure evil genius

I'm sure the prison's accountant's gonna have a field day at the end of the year XD

31:45 I know the feeling lost 2 of my cats in the last 4 weeks, it's now really quite in the house and that drove me almost mad for the first couple of days.

*YESSS, MA BOI BE PLAYIN PRISON ARCHITECT!*

That was quite a wonderful insight into the tea production secrets.

Man i have come to your video totally randomly and i really enjoy em ! especially the one with the sims 4 guy forcing himself into families, lmao i laughed my ass there ! subbed all the way !!

"Ok so he needs to go to the toilet and some comfort" "HE WILL BE HAVING NONE OF THAT"

Brit: Starvation solves all of your troubles! Northern Ireland: hmmmmmmmmmmm

I subscribed after you zooming out and me seeing send help... Among other things... 😂

28:39 The sound Spiffing Brit makes every day when he checks his subscriber count going up. Good work buddy, funny stuff.

Little did spiff know, he was replaying the history of australia

12:00 Spiff you backsliding tea-addict...

You know. Between you, TearofGrace, and Birgirpall breaking everything and the commentary you all provide, i always have something to watch and listen to that lifts me a little. Thanks Spiff. And i may be american, but that black breakfast tea is good all day. XD

love your channel with a spot of tea

Hey! you had one of the head devs in your prison at 5:49 !! That's awesome!

@demilung

5 жыл бұрын

Poor guy

I petition to rebrand Prison Architect to the Playground of Tea-dom. Edit: As a side note, aren't Christians already Churches of the t?

@giin97

5 жыл бұрын

Oof.

@superpandaplaysmc

5 жыл бұрын

no they are the church of the T not the superior church of the t

@jobot0114

5 жыл бұрын

@@superpandaplaysmc They worship a cross, not a diagram of perpendicular lines.

I quite enjoy the line of hearses just waiting for a guard to come load them up with bodies, not realizing that there are no guards.

I love watching your youtube content, cracks me up every time i watch it

I love Officer Terrance the lovable lil guy :3 Love your vids Spiff

My first comment on KZread ... ever ... so here it is : Thank you for this tutorial on the world common market ! simple, understandable and, above all : TERRIFYINGLY JOYFUL 3:D

Spiff, this is my absolute favorite video, please do not ever movie this video. This right here is hilarious. I love it!

Best thing about this channel while watching as an American, is laughing at the weird obsession with tea he has. Also hes funny as fuck and I love the overly British-ness of this channel. makes me want to get tea. With my cheeseburgers. 'Murica!

Spif: maybe you’ve already given the video a like Me: yes my subscriber senses told me this is a good one

You can trust this brit to violate the geneva convention any day. XD

@robertnett9793

5 жыл бұрын

Spiff never signed the Geneva Conventions. So it's basically not more as a well meant advise to him (which he ignores like a true artist)

Me: So how many basic human rights do you want to violate? The Spiffing Brit: *YES*

This is brilliant. Now I'm having my bell notification set on for you channel. Cheers

After your prison, crime rate magically lowered to 0.0001%

@gemstonegynoid7475

5 жыл бұрын

The 0.0001% is spiff himself

300k subs already? I remember when you were just a small 90k channel in the shadow of people like isp. Gratz! I for one think you'll reach 1mil sooner or later.

Oh Spiff, what a delightful cheese factory you seem to have built next to your lovely tea plantation.

This is the very video that bought my sub. What that says about me we won't get into. Spiff gets me, this man cracks me up. Deaths? I see no deaths here, that's just spilled canned tomatoes. You may have an Italian spy lurking about over there. Although, Terrance was rather overwhelmed, I guess we can't blame him. Carry on you beautiful man. Carry on.

The greatest game of all: insider trading!

Hey spiff, what do you think of coffee? *spiff creates the church of tea so the priest will yell at people until they give in and drink tea*

Fuckin love this channel, i get cravings for tea every time i watch you as if there's some strange hypnosis seeded through the whole video.

Love it ! Would like to see a video about all the crap you presumably get from Devs

"Make sure you have your warm cup of tea" Looks at table, sees coffee... Throws coffee in the trash (along with the mug) Prepares tea.

@Callmejay139

4 жыл бұрын

Me: looks at water Me: drinks water

@lordmewthree7989

4 жыл бұрын

Yes because the mug itsself is tainted