Pillow Talks Podcast EPISODE 4: Mental Load: What it is and how to balance it in your relationship
In this episode, we talk about one of the most popular topics we’ve ever talked about: mental load.
If you’ve never heard the term before, mental load refers to the invisible mental burden of keeping track of household and family needs.
Seriously, people go bananas whenever we talk about mental load, so this is an episode you don’t want to miss!
In this episode, you’ll learn:
- What mental load is, and why it’s so harmful to relationships.
- How mental load impacts your sex life in particular.
- Why women are socialized to carry the majority of the mental load.
- A step-by-step plan to balance the mental load between yourself and your partner, so you don’t create resentment and frustration.
- What to do if your partner doesn’t do tasks the way you’d like them to.
Timestamps
[02:38] What mental load is.
[03:47] Why it’s so hard to carry the mental load.
[04:32] Fascinating poll results about people’s least-favorite mental load tasks.
[11:00] Why women are socialized to carry the majority of the mental load.
[13:25] How mental load can ruin your relationship.
[15:06] The specific impact of mental load on your sex life.
[22:23] Our best tips for balancing mental load in your relationship.
[45:22] Quick wins.
[48:35] Listener question: Why isn’t it a two-way street? There is no mental load that my partner bears for the family.
[49:41] Listener question: How do you help your partner understand mental load?
[51:00] Listener question: I'm a stay at home mom and my partner works. I feel bad asking him to do things since he works a stressful job all day.
[53:05] Listener question: My partner says it's not fair for me to expect him to read my mind.
[54:07] Listener question: How do I remind my partner to do their mental load tasks? If I don’t remind him, he won’t remember.
[1:00:04] What if my partners learning their new tasks affects the family? For example, forgetting to pack snacks for the kids.
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Пікірлер: 5
You guys are awesome! 🥰 What an interesting topic of things we have done for years and never thought about how much we do that isn't tangible
@vanessaandxander
3 жыл бұрын
So glad you enjoyed, Danielle!
Oh I did not know about this thing. I ended a relationship because of this
I love your style and you both seem to be so much on my wave link of conscientious living, it is unreal … do you mind me asking, where do you live and if you found like minded couples around you at present … unfortunately I am not that lucky, I have none around as friends and certainly not family on either side … my partner shut down literally every conversation I am trying to have with him in around pretty much anything introspective subject with “This is Boring, I am bored by this conversation or not again” … I am not as good as you to be inventive and my brain totally does not cooperate with finding out new ways of communicating and gets triggered at times too ( not as much anymore but still not perfect, I carry BPD traits there for disregulation and fear of rejection and abundantment … 😣😞), there is total none existence of like minded support system ( my family doesn’t communicate unless there is crisis of some kind, partners one is loving but very traditional and unaware… and happy that way … I respect it but that makes me boring rebel when I do not want it that way for myself … my partner is the same way as his parents … says he wants to be certain way but on autopilot behave and expect what he knows from childhood … the aware, conscious moments are rare … one week in ages … there also seem to be pattern going on, he knows to great proficiency how to do all the stuff around home ( it comes with our carriers) and do it as long as I am out of picture, the minute I come home, there seem to be switch and all is handed over ( no communication is involved at all)… I do find jobs for myself and happy with I consciously take on, but not all