Vanessa and Xander Marin

Vanessa and Xander Marin

Hi! We’re Vanessa and Xander! We specialize in helping people stop feel so embarrassed about sex, and start having way more fun in the bedroom. We’ve been affectionately nicknamed “that sex couple” by our followers for our frank discussions of the modern challenges faced by modern couples.

Vanessa is a licensed psychotherapist. She studied human sexuality at Brown University, has written for The New York Times, Allure, and Lifehacker, and has been featured thousands of times by publications like O, The Oprah Magazine, Real Simple, Refinery29, New York Magazine, Rolling Stone, Buzzfeed, and many more. And Xander is a regular dude who left a cushy career in Tech once he realized it was more fun to talk about sex with his wife all day.

Together, we have the unique ability to make you laugh while giving you the courage to talk about sex and relationships in ways you never have before!

Get our weekly emails (and a free gift!) by signing up at: vmtherapy.com/subscribe/

Why Do Guys Do This?

Why Do Guys Do This?

Maybe It's Not Low Libido

Maybe It's Not Low Libido

Smash or Pass (Part 21)

Smash or Pass (Part 21)

Trying New Things

Trying New Things

Smash or Pass (Part 20)

Smash or Pass (Part 20)

This is NOT okay!

This is NOT okay!

Resentment

Resentment

Problem Solving

Problem Solving

Пікірлер

  • @Falcon-mc5fs
    @Falcon-mc5fs6 сағат бұрын

    Vulva owner?... You passed biology because you were "inclusive" I'm guessing? This will be so humiliating one day when you realise you chose to be a moron

  • @karinesavard2016
    @karinesavard20167 сағат бұрын

    🤣😂🤣😂👍💯

  • @robincapps3588
    @robincapps35889 сағат бұрын

    I didn't want to talk about it to much, it's making me feel old. I'm 42

  • @robincapps3588
    @robincapps35889 сағат бұрын

    I knew about those magazines

  • @patcady310
    @patcady31010 сағат бұрын

    My partner and I have amazing open dialogue during sex. We tell each other exactly what to do at the time and what not to do. No 2 sexual encounters are the same, so why make the act vanilla?

  • @Theupgradeguy
    @Theupgradeguy14 сағат бұрын

    I have learned to vibrate my lips which makes it a lot like riding a Sybian. Gives multiple O's almost every time!

  • @briananderson6758
    @briananderson675814 сағат бұрын

    You just described my wife

  • @LawrenceHarman
    @LawrenceHarman14 сағат бұрын

    I agree too, but my wife likes my fingers busy whilst she is down there

  • @AlfUckhamHall
    @AlfUckhamHall16 сағат бұрын

    Hi Vanessa, I knew about these things and have sadly been the victim.

  • @phmiii
    @phmiii19 сағат бұрын

    Great Ideas! Thank you, for providing the answer.

  • @Myperfectshell
    @Myperfectshell20 сағат бұрын

    Amazing 💯

  • @PerryScanlon
    @PerryScanlon22 сағат бұрын

    The big issues are cheating and spending.

  • @JC-qw5ew
    @JC-qw5ew23 сағат бұрын

    I love your open and honest answers. Please stop thinking of others. Go, please go and fly

  • @patrickconnolly2654
    @patrickconnolly265423 сағат бұрын

    The lizard brain overrides the "romantic " mind. How to make this fact. Pretty.

  • @OEMPlus
    @OEMPlusКүн бұрын

    solid advice. faking an orgasm is like pretending the guy hit the bullseye when he didn't.

  • @lorraineglazar4353
    @lorraineglazar4353Күн бұрын

    OMG Yes!!

  • @someoneyoudontknow7705
    @someoneyoudontknow7705Күн бұрын

    Agree, except I have NEVER faked an orgasm. 41yrs old.

  • @palomagodoy8308
    @palomagodoy8308Күн бұрын

    Use tongue. That's it. Not harden tongue though. Soft.

  • @contentsofjoy
    @contentsofjoyКүн бұрын

    Great! Thanks

  • @TSMPimpDaddyPain
    @TSMPimpDaddyPainКүн бұрын

    Nobody ever brings up condom or no condom but that can make a big difference in total duration 😂

  • @Nykkynn
    @NykkynnКүн бұрын

    Man, I wish more women knew these things.

  • @VeggiesbyEos
    @VeggiesbyEosКүн бұрын

    I just found your channel and love y'all!

  • @riccarrasquilla379
    @riccarrasquilla379Күн бұрын

    thanks for the video

  • @bro_izzy
    @bro_izzyКүн бұрын

    Just be honest, and he'll do better next time.

  • @shebababii
    @shebababiiКүн бұрын

    Totally agree! thanks for the video!

  • @petersloan3540
    @petersloan3540Күн бұрын

    Filth

  • @Jbank-qm9fv
    @Jbank-qm9fvКүн бұрын

    How often u having sex?Do they use contraceptives?

  • @SciFiRo
    @SciFiRoКүн бұрын

    💯💯💯👏👏👏

  • @Insightfill
    @Insightfill2 күн бұрын

    Excellent explanation! Thanks.

  • @RoninCotter-fp8nu
    @RoninCotter-fp8nu2 күн бұрын

    Good advice!

  • @MyDogSteppedOnaBeee
    @MyDogSteppedOnaBeee2 күн бұрын

    If I’m a male and I fake my orgasms am I normal?

  • @reeljour884
    @reeljour8842 күн бұрын

    I always have orgasms I’m vergin but i always have orgasms when i maturbate i even want to scream each time is that normal or not?

  • @bcask61
    @bcask612 күн бұрын

    Vulva owner?

  • @vanessaandxander
    @vanessaandxanderКүн бұрын

    No all that identify as women have a vulva, not all who have a vulva identify as women. Inclusivity is important! - Team V&X

  • @mjolnir3309
    @mjolnir33092 күн бұрын

    Good advice

  • @paulrom446
    @paulrom4462 күн бұрын

    Wow! I hit the subscribe button immediately! Finally a woman who gives Voice to very important issues! Also not threatening! Thank you 😊,!

  • @kennethbaker3836
    @kennethbaker38362 күн бұрын

    Vanessa, we need more women like You!

  • @marcuskelly5768
    @marcuskelly57682 күн бұрын

    Super discussion, enlightening

  • @user-cm7qo9fr9e
    @user-cm7qo9fr9e2 күн бұрын

    Thank you for the content. I would just suggest one thing. I would really encourage you to consider how detrimental to our Society gay relationships are and how you’re contributing to that by promoting gay sex on your channel. Gay sex doesn’t result in a healthy society and community. Huge thumbs down. Contrary to what media with paid agendas are pushing, the general public doesn’t want to hear that kind of stuff promoted.

  • @teresarichmond5433
    @teresarichmond54333 күн бұрын

    Sooo hard to believe people don’t know this stuff - shocking to me. Truly 😮 Really?

  • @johnblaze5034
    @johnblaze50343 күн бұрын

    Absolutely 100% agree

  • @popeye4016
    @popeye40163 күн бұрын

    Great advice for everyone who sees this!

  • @daveymccrazy2977
    @daveymccrazy29773 күн бұрын

    Yep perfect trifecta of advice!

  • @donaldgaspard2428
    @donaldgaspard24283 күн бұрын

    69

  • @mikey20is
    @mikey20is3 күн бұрын

    That, was an eye opener, thanks.

  • @Wheels44735
    @Wheels447353 күн бұрын

    I'm at a loss to understand why there would be any question or shame. Great part of woman on top.

  • @user-lx1il8rx3q
    @user-lx1il8rx3q3 күн бұрын

    Sex IS disgusting. Nobodies opinions matters. When your a kids you find sex disgusting. We are only programmed to do it to procreate. Would you have sex with a spider? They have sex. They look fucking hiddeous. But cats find other cats arousing. People look like maggots when they are naked and in groups.

  • @gtrgd100
    @gtrgd1003 күн бұрын

    Great advice!

  • @lalva5798
    @lalva57984 күн бұрын

    Has been in my repertoire for many years to include rimming analingus (Sp) Always enjoyable for both parties involved 😛

  • @johnpineapple1824
    @johnpineapple18244 күн бұрын

    Wow great advice!

  • @anthonystevens-gm6uh
    @anthonystevens-gm6uh4 күн бұрын

    These are amazing. Thank you. The first one is huge. If your partner shames you for initiating there is something deeply deeply wrong. If you talk to them and they don’t take it in and change their ways then don’t keep hoping they will change like I did. If they don’t change after the third attempt accept that it won’t change. THEN decide if you can license with that. Don’t keep hoping it will change because you don’t want to face the consequences of admitting it won’t change. IE that you either have to live with it or leave the relationship. That is what I did and it kept me in a toxic relationship for years and years.