What’s keeping you from letting go in the bedroom?
People we polled said that body image, kids, and to-do lists all contributed to having a difficult time staying present during sex.
People tend to feel that “letting go” is the main thing that could make sex better and more pleasurable. But for many of us, just letting go is a lot harder than it sounds!
In this episode, we talk about what “letting go” during sex could look like, and whether that’s actually something we should be striving for in the bedroom.
You’ll learn:
- Why it’s not a simple matter of just letting go during sex.
- How to be present during sex when you feel distracted.
- How to set goals to improve your sex life.
- Tools and techniques to quiet your mind.
- How to create a pleasurable sex life that you truly enjoy.
Timestamps
[01:59] Reasons why people find it difficult to let go
[04:10] Xander’s experience with letting go during sex
[05:35] What letting go during sex means to Vanessa, and the struggles she has gone through
[08:02] Why focusing on letting go during sex is not an effective strategy, and how pushing yourself to do it only makes it worse.
[09:45] The real way to create a sex life that is pleasurable and fulfilling
[16:15] Why not letting go can sometimes be a great thing for your body
[18:55] How to work on your sex life and set healthier goals
[20:00] Why struggling with letting go shouldn’t stop you from working on and enjoying your sex life.
[22:00] Specific steps to take when you feel distracted or in your head during sex
[30:05] How to redirect your thoughts during sex
[35:50] How do I turn off the mental checklist going through my head?
[37:15] Do I tell my partner I’m trying to do this or work on it alone?
[38:45] How do I let go and still feel safe?
[40:32] Do guys struggle with this too?
[44:10] What if I want to let go but my husband thinks sex should be serious?
[46:16] Episode recap
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