Oh, yeah! I was so afraid to drive with you in the car. I remember driving home from my dad's when you cried all the way home. All I could do was talk to you, then nurse you as soon as we got home. I don't think you were scarred by it, princess. Love, Mom

You’re doing great Sarah! Just remember Fern was 3 weeks early, and many babies go 2 weeks after dd so some new borns are actually 5 weeks older than Fern! She’s still figuring out the outside world and might be fussier because of her age. It doesn’t change anything but it might make you feel better about the “TikTok moms”. Also remember she is your first so everything is new. To me it feels like the “do it all” moms are usually on their second at least so they have a bit more experience to go on. Sending love from another new mom (9 months yesterday) and just know it gets so much better!! ❤

@sarahhawkinson

Жыл бұрын

thank you ❤️

@baleek4367

Жыл бұрын

Exactly ! For my second child, I was so much more relaxed and resilient when it comes to sleep deprivation. When you experience it all for the first time it is BRUTAL. Go with the flow and at your own pace. ❤

@gaelmarcou3101

Жыл бұрын

👅😛🤑Sa va🥰😍😘

I'm not a parent, but hearing you talk about the productivity stuff I just wanna scream that you ARE doing so much!! Breastfeeding and having your baby around is a giant task in itself and remember than parents on tiktok only show the 1% when they're able to go out and do stuff, like if you'd record at Target and post it titled "How i shop with my newborn" without showing the struggles! That's the thing about tiktok, it's full of toxic positivity and unrealistic standards, not just looks-wise. You're really doing amazing no matter how much you "do" because what you're doing is raising and caring for your baby (even if shes sleeping and you feel like you should be taking care of something "productive")! Sending much, much love!

Hey Sarah - mom of 4 here and I just wanted to say - you’re doing GREAT! All of those videos of moms on TikTok where they seem like they have it all together - they’re lying. The first couple months are a blur. Sending you all of the best. You seriously are doing great. You can see how safe and comfortable Fern feels with you. ❤❤ as far as hobbies - you’ll get there. It’ll take some time but you will find yourself again and you’ll be an even better version of who you used to be.

Fern is adorable! I don't know if this helps, but when I am in public and hear a baby screaming I don't judge their caretakers. I always feel bad because the caretakers must be very stressed about it, and that is the only way babies can communicate. Hang in there!

@SpookyPookster

Жыл бұрын

For real! Even prior to having my own, I was like awwww I wanna help!

Oh Sarah, I wish there were more videos like this when I first became a mom. It was sooooooo hard, I felt like my baby was just completely different than everyone else's babies. Nothing was going how it was "supposed" to be going. Everything was such a struggle: breasfeeding, sleeping, her weight gain, you name it. I could not put her down for the first few months of her life. She would just scream so hard, she would start choking/gagging and throw up. I literally held her 24/7. On the toilet, in bed etc. I did everything with one hand and I basically didn't shower. When I tried to put her down and take a super quick shower, she would wake up/get unhappy within minutes, and I would jump out dripping wet just to pick her up before she starts chocking on her own saliva. I felt like I was in a constant state of fear and anxiety. Same with walks, very similar to your experience. I had to take our dog out, and it was so frickin stressful. We lived in an apartment at the time, and I just knew that she would only be ok for the first few minutes, after that it will be just screaming until we got back home. It was always so rushed and stressful. Car rides were a nightmare, too. Both my husband and I were stressed out of our minds any time we had to leave the house. And no one around me seemed to be in a similar situation. Hanging out and talking to other moms just made me feel like shit. I felt like I was definitely doing something wrong even though I knew I've tried everything. Watching instagram moms was even worse, I actually stopped going on there really early on during pp because I could just start crying watching all these perfectly put-together moms with their perfectly happy babies in their cribs/bassinets/car seats. I literally felt just barely alive with the lack of sleep and all the other struggles. So sorry to dump this here, not sure what the purpose of it was lol, it just kind of came out. Listening to your pp story brought back memories, I guess. My baby is 16 months now, life is very different now. I feel like I've gotten so much of myself back (or found a new me, I suppose), my little girl is so much more indepentent now (even though she's still pretty stuck to me lol), it's night and day compared to those first few months. Thank you for being so transparent. People need to see the reality (or the many different possible realities), it's beautiful but it's also extremely hard. I know that this video would've made me so happy back when I was struggling so thank you again for putting yourself out there with no filter (literally and figuratively). You might feel like you're barely surviving but you're killing it! 💪

@inkasaraswati7625

Жыл бұрын

You and your baby are troopers! My baby is 7 weeks and is frequently extremely hard to settle, and I'm constantly wondering what's wrong with me/my baby, and I really worry about her development (if I can sneak in 1 minute tummy time then it's a good day, she hates it, even on me), and every thought in between that I'm sure you can imagine. At what age has it started to get better for your baby?

@bogglqueen

Жыл бұрын

I love your supportive and relatable story ! Mom's have to stick together more !

@cookinglab6238

Жыл бұрын

@@inkasaraswati7625 I'm sorry that your question was addressed not to me but as a mom of 3 children (the youngest is 14 months now) - it was around 3-4 months when everything becomes better. You might be somewhere in the middle of the "purple cry". So the anxiety of your baby is absolutely normal. Take the deep breath and stay calm. Everything gonna be fine!

A small thing that might improve your life is a coffee warmer. My fiancé got me one because he was sick of me microwaving my coffee (I’m not a mom, just forgetful) and I can’t drink it cold. I put it on the warmer and it’s perfect. Absolute game changer.

Honestly considering you've barely slept for a month you're looking great. A beautiful mama

Don’t be so hard on yourself! My daughter would cry for like two hours straight every evening from like 5-7pm 🤦🏼‍♀️ it was tough and we finally got into a nice little rhythm of naps and awake time and it worked itself out. You got this!

Yes! I am 5 1/2 months postpartum and I have never done anything more difficult in my life. I didn’t know I would take it all so hard especially breastfeeding. I loathed the women who went for walks everyday immediately after birth.. My anxiety was SKY HIGH at the beginning too when going out but it truly gets SO much better. It just takes time. You got this! ♥️

Comparison is the thief of joy. You’re doing amazing. Don’t scroll too much and compare because who knows what’s really going on in their lives. 💓💓💓

I’m almost 8 months postpartum and it get so much easier! Those early days were some of the hardest days of my life, but now I look back at that time and realize how strong it made me. It was like taking a crash course in moming. Hang in there girl!! ❤❤❤ congratulations! It’s the best!

Oh Sarah honey everything you described was exactly how my daughter was as a newborn. Please stop looking at social media mums, it will depress you. I had to stop because like you I couldn't understand why all their babies were happy and the mums looked so put together and I was unable to leave the house. I couldn't go to mother's group because my girl screamed the entire time and the rest of the babies were happy. It made me so depressed. I found things got easier at 6 months but I made the decision to only have one child as I just don't have the mental and emotional capacity for more. It does get better I promise. I promise you will enjoy it when things better and a lot of that will have to do with her sleeping longer. Sleep deprivation is the most effective form of torture for a reason. You've got a supportive community here x

@raysa_n

Жыл бұрын

Thank you for sharing your story because I went thru a similar experience as a new mom and hardly meet other people that are honest like this. Thank you.

@braainzz

Жыл бұрын

my experience postpartum was very similar. i wish i had seen videos/comments like this back when i was going through it instead of fake perfect social media parents.

@hayleymar

Жыл бұрын

Yes! I remember going to the little New Baby classes my hospital offered for free, and all these other babies were just hanging out on the floor, sleeping in the bright lights and noise, doing adorable little whimpers when they start to get upset. Then there was me with my baby who would go straight to 11 on the scream scale and refused to be put down anywhere or only slept in the most specific conditions. I felt so alienated by those classes, by seeing anyone else's experience, by my mom talking about how easy my siblings and I were in comparison. Finding out about "high needs baby" stuff honestly saved me from thinking I had somehow broken my baby lol I honestly think that these babies are basically suffering from Locked In Syndrome or whatever it is, where they want to engage with the world and do so much more than they are capable of. My high needs baby is now a brilliant, independent, creative preschooler, super articulate. Her big brain finally gets to flourish unhindered by a useless infant body lol

@BeckywiseTheDancingClown

Жыл бұрын

@@hayleymar yes exactly my daughter is high needs too but now that she's in preschool she's thriving! We get a rough start but it gets so much better

@jimtami1

Жыл бұрын

I’m so sorry you’re struggling. I have three kids and it does get better. Babies sense your feelings so try to be chill and not worry about keeping up with the tik tok crowd. Thanks for another great video. Tami

I avoided all baby/motherhood content because it gave me anxiety for the first 6-8 months postpartum and I think it may have been one of the best things for my sanity. For me it wasn't sleep/crying that I compared, it was milestones. There's just not enough perspective in the beginning to realize that babies all progress at their own pace

I have a toddler. I definitely felt this video when she was a newborn and throughout the first year old of her life.

In the Sims4 when a pregnant sim browses parenting tips online (I forget the exact action, might be “forums”) they can end up with a negative moodlet.

14:57 "She's HUGE!" Fern: *giggles, all like "yes ma'am, I am!"* EDIT: Like everyone else in the comments have said, you and Ryan are doing amazing. I have loved following your motherhood journey, from you finding out you're pregnant and revealing it to us, to your birth journey, to now. You are giving such a voice to new mothers in a way that pitch-perfect KZreadrs/TikTokers/social media parents often don't: Admitting with honesty how difficult it is, how draining and identity-challenging new parenthood is. Your videos and testimonies (is that the correct word?) will no doubt help other new parents feel less alone and more understood. Thank you for your videos. Also, HI FERN! - Aaron

My baby is almost a year old and I JUST started feeling more like myself. Just started going out more and seeing more people. Therapy really helped and new meds to adjust to the new period of my life. I had my baby in February and the winter season wrecked me!! Alls to say, your feelings are totally valid!! Some days you cherish this new season and some days you just want them to be over!! Take it day by day, have commission for yourself and your partner 💓💓

I’m due February 27. I’m scared of giving birth but postpartum scared me the most. I’m someone who needs to sleep A LOT and it scares me so bad. My boyfriend is gonna be home with me for the first 2 months and we will be using formula so I hope it’s gonna help us getting a little more sleep. I’m also very anxious and can easily get depressed, this means higher risk for PPD. I want to be the best mom so bad and it’s scary. It’s comforting to see some examples like you instead of just looking at people on TikTok who make it seems so easy. You are both doing great don’t give up, it’s hard but temporary.

Motherhood is sooooooooo normalized when in reality, IT'S A BIG DEAL. You're creating human, living, breathing life and it comes OUT OF YOU. It changes your body, sense of self, routine, and EVERYTHING. You're doing the best you can, and you're terrific at it. Keep sharing your experience if it helps you vent and find a community of other moms who feel the same.

You are not alone my son was my first child he never slept, breastfeeding was not what I expected at all I basically underestimated how trapped I would feel in those first 6 months. That being said it got so much easier after he 6 months old at the time it feels never ending but It will go by so fast. Never feel like you have to apologize for how you feel as a new mom people may have all these expectations of you and you have of yourself but getting through is enough. You got this very mom who is trying their best is a super hero you brought a life into the world a few month of just watching movies and taking care if that little life is more then enough.

I'm 8.5 months pregnant, so grateful for your videos and honesty. Much love Sarah and Fern 💕

Just remember: this phase is only temporary. You will adjust to your new role and she will eventually sleep through the night. Just wait for the first laugh. ❤ I had a winter baby too and so much of what you said resonated with me. She’s beautiful! You are doing a great job! P.S: the sleep deprivation is terrible!!!! Nobody tells you that.

You’ll be going places and doing things soon. The first 3 months I pretty much only left the house for our doctor appointments or short walks around the block. I was DRAINED physically and mentally and I bled for 6 weeks postpartum and taking care of a baby and myself in public felt overwhelming! After 3 months it started to feel so much easier and we began having outings a couple of times each week. Now he’s 14 months old and we go somewhere nearly every day… the library, a toddler music class, museum, explore a new park, grocery shopping, etc. we do it all! He also started consistently sleeping from 7pm until 5am without waking around the 5 month mark, so even if I stay up until 11pm to catch up on chores and enjoy some downtime, I get 6 hours of straight sleep. It’s so good, haha. The early weeks are so tough, but you’ve got this. ❤

Ryan sounds like a gem, you're doing great! No parent feels like they're doing enough and it's a lot of work to figure out what you're baby wants/needs and when works best for them

Breastfeeding takes so much energy so please don't feel bad! Also I had postpartum anxiety and it was awful, please reach out and talk about treatment options for you!

I have a 10 month old little girl, the witching ‘hour’ was killing me! My mum told me to get out of the house and go for her walk, I would put her in the baby carrier and then go for a walk, it’s the only thing that would work. I would laugh because on that walk you will see at least 3 other parents doing the same thing 😂 your doing such a good job mumma ❤

As a mom of teenagers changing and finding my identity is always difficult. The balancing act is hard for working and stay at home moms.

Fern is so precious

This is so real, thank you. I felt so bad the first few months when everyone shows the bliss they were feeling while I was feeling like a shell of a person. I don't think it's talked about enough, the way having a new human who relies completely on us is so hard. I barely remember the first 3 months of our sons life because I was so disassociated and focused on making sure he was alive at every minute of the day that it was hard to really enjoy it. The stress and anxiety my body went through is still with me almost 3 years later. I'm finally getting back on medication for depression and anxiety, but I just wanted to say thank you. You have shared your journey with us despite the hardest parts and that is amazing. I hope this helps others feel as seen and validated as this has for me.

@AlinaKat3

Жыл бұрын

Yes 100%!

A ring sling is super helpful for nursing in public. Wear a nursing tank and a regular shirt over it. No one will know what you are doing and she will still be able to see your face unlike with a nursing cover. Baby wearing is also super helpful for keeping peoples hands off your baby in public. My babies didn't sleep well either and when they were awake they wanted to be held and interacted with. My baby with colic was my best sleeper. Sometimes when you have done all the things you can to comfort them you just hold them while they cry. It gets easier bit by bit. You are doing great some babies are just more needy, but she knows if she needs you you are there for her.

As a none parent, every realistic parent seems to suggest you rest when the baby is sleeping. If you really feel you need to tidy give yourself 10-15 minutes and then focus on you for a bit. A bit of reading, a puzzle or just a nap. Sounds like parenting is so difficult, hopefully you'll find it gets easier over the next month but don't be too hard on yourself 💕

I’m 11 weeks pp. one thing that worked for my daughter during the witching hour was a hand held fan. Blowing cold air on her face would shock her out of her screaming fits and most of the time she’d go to sleep. The screaming would tire her out so much! You’re doing great, mama! Remember that!

Sarah! I've been watching and loving your videos for years. I'm 33 and have a 4 year old son (who never slept well. Even now years later I almost cried when you said you would pay good money for 3 hours of sleep in a row because I was there for a long time too) and my daughter is 18 months old. I've never commented on a video before, but I was moved to say thank you for sharing your genuine and raw feelings through the difficult days of postpartum. This is a video I wish I had seen when I had my first baby back in 2018. The darkest days of my life were the postpartum months/year after I had my first child. Postpartum is fucking HARD. if you're only surviving that is enough even though it feels like hell. It's so exhausting and draining and you're so damn sleep deprived that you're in a haze. The anxiety during new motherhood is through the roof. I also exclusively breastfed my babies and also had a child who was never a "good sleeper". we even paid for a sleep consultant when my son was 9 months old because we hadn't slept through the night even then. It takes its toll on you emotionally, physically, and also disrupts your relationship with your partner. Right now everything feels hard and blended together and never ending. You lose yourself. Pregnancy, birth, and motherhoods break you open, but I promise you will be put back together and your life, worldview, and the amount of love you're able to give and receive will deepen beyond what you were able to experience before you made this transition into motherhood. I'm so sorry that you are experiencing darkness right now. Please know that many of us do and although it is common, it doesn't last forever, but the love you and your daughter share together does.

yay! we missed you ! ❤

You rock, Sarah!

I don’t know if you’ve tried babywearing at all. But that was a game changer for my productivity during the newborn stage (and even now on bad days). I’ve been able to nurse during grocery trips if I have baby in the carrier or wrap. There’s some super affordable wrap carriers on amazon, which worked great for us.

@trinsmiless

Жыл бұрын

Also it is so important to remember that you are important. You are the best mom for your baby. And to be the best for your baby, you need to prioritize your health too. Getting your partner to take even just one shift can be such a relief. As a cosleeping toddler mom, I have not slept more than 5 hours in a row since my baby was born. But on a day where I get a full 5 hours…. i’m unstoppable 😂

It gets better!! So proud of you!! You’re so resilient

you’re doing amazing sarah!! 🎉❤

you are so so so strong

Thank you for your honesty💜

I truly appreciate these videos, seriously!

youre incredible

I love the update.

It really takes me back to my daughters newborn stage. Hang in there ! I felt so anxious I didn’t want to leave the house either. Go at your own pace and do not compare. Stop tiktok ! I would recommend listening to podcasts while you feed her, or audiobooks, especially at night

Thank you so much! I'm 2 months postpartum now and it's good to know that I'm not alone with those things. Especially with the feeling of having lost myself and feeling inadequate because I don't manage to do as much as I thought I would be able to... I knew it would be challenging but somehow the things that I thought would be hard are actually okay and the things that are actually hard are things that I didn't really know would happen.

Such a beautiful child! Good Luck with your journey!!!

You are doing amazing! 💞My son is about to be two, and those first few months were the hardest of my life. I legit didn’t go anywhere alone with him until he was 5 months, I was terrified to do anything with him. I would also cry watching tik toks and seeing these other parents going everywhere, having routines and etc. I definitely felt like a shell of myself too but that changed as he got bigger. It’s all so hard, but I hope things start improving and you’re able to get more sleep soon!

Sending so much❤️would love vlogs from you! I watch your old vlog channel from time to time and they are so chill. Chaos is welcome ☺️

ily sarah please take care of yourself! fern is the cutest

You’re doing so amazing wow 🤩

Your doing amazing!

you are so strong and powerful!! You are doing great sarah, much loveee

Saving this video as a reminder 💓 thank you for being so real. I'm due in June and it feels good knowing that we all go through this.

I am so happy for you she’s so precious and thank you for bringing me back to earth from my baby fever, I just started thinking of having a kid one day 😵‍💫 I definitely couldn’t handle it, but you’ve got this >:)

Thank you so much for sharing this journey with us 🥺🫶🏼 you’re doing great! I can’t imagine how difficult of an adjustment this all must be, but you’re handling it with so much grace and honesty.

Ugh, this is bringing back so many feelings. I promise it gets better!!! This is the absolute hardest season

The Costco story is sooo relatable..I was consoling my screaming baby a couple weeks ago (Sunday in Costco fml) at an end cap and 3 different people approached. One lady was like “you’re doing great mama” which was nice but another guy got inches from my babies face and yelled “no crying in Costco!” As like..a joke..but I almost lost it. Psa: if you see a person trying to console their baby in a public place, just keep walking. I don’t need to interact with anyone, even if they’re being nice and giving a compliment like please just let me concentrate on this screaming child

I would love monthly updates! & never forget you are doing the best you can and that’s enough ♥️

You're doing amazing Sarah! ❤️ I love how real this video is.. I feel the getting out of the house with a newborn and ebf and the sleep deprivation and the identity. My son is 10 months now and everything slowly got better and looking back I know postpartum has made me a stronger person and mother

Hey Sarah I really hope that things get better for you and Ryan. Baby Fern is so precious. Also thank you for sharing your experience with us. Being a new mom is so hard! When I had my daughter I went thru a lot and I thought I was going crazy due to the lack of sleep and all the changes, but things eventually did get better. Hold on in there you are doing great❤️

Thank you for sharing your experience Sarah ❤ I’m almost due and am nervous about labor and post partum. Sending you love!

baby fern is such a precious angel

I have a 5 week old daughter who I’m breastfeeding and I’m so glad I came across this video. I feel like I’m screwing this up so bad bc of how fussy she is at night and how often she wants to eat in the evenings. I have no idea what I’m doing with naps, everything is a struggle right now. I love her so much, but this is so hard. Thank you for talking about your experience, it’s made me feel so much better about mine

oh man hearing you describe this phase brings me back to when I had my boys. it was the hardest part of my life by far! the sleep deprivation alone made me scared of losing my mind. my boys are 2 now and sleep through the night plus naps. we go out to eat, to parks, libraries and shopping. they're my little buddies. it will get easier I promise!

Yeeees was waiting for this ☺️😘😘😘

I totally understand. You are doing a great job! My daughter is now 15 years old and this brings me back.

Thank you for being honest. I hope everyday gets easier and you get some sleep! I definitely want to be helpful to my new parent friends where I can bc I don't plan on having kids, but I support ya'll that do!

you’re doing an incredible job, mom! Fern is so lucky to have you! 🖤

My baby was born one week after Fern and I relate to you on so much of this. It's so good to know I'm not alone.

you just described my life with my 3 month old and i had to come back to say it’s incredible to have you talk so openly about your experience bc i’ve been terrified to admit any of it out loud.

I’m so enjoying these videos! I’m 26 weeks pregnant right now with my first so it’s really nice to hear about postpartum in a realistic way. You’re doing great, take it easy, and congratulations!

so excited to watch!! hope all 3 of you have been well!

@trinity2947

Жыл бұрын

okayyyy so, i hope everything gets better, every baby is different, i know it’s hard but try not to compare you and fern to other babies and moms on tiktok 💜💜

You can do this Sarah, it will get better soon. She looks so healthy and beautiful 😍

Thank you for sharing this Sarah. I’ve been a follower for so many years and I got pregnant in October. Unfortunately we lost the baby at 11 weeks. It was devastating! We are trying to decide if we still want to have a baby. I just appreciate any honest talk about the postpartum experience! ❤ you!!!! And congrats on your beautiful fern baby 🥰🥰

I relate so much to everything you said about identity and being afraid to take your baby out. I felt All of that. sometimes it takes a while to feel whole again and it’s a process. Take your time and give yourself tons of grace. ♥️

It’s a yes for me for vlogs 💛 You’re doing great Sarah, I’ve heard other new moms here on KZread talking about how the new born stage is so hard and how it’s not realistic to expect to have a routine at first. As for those TikTok’s, not only are all babies different but also - and as a content creator I’m sure you know that - a short clip does not show you the whole reality of those moms. Most of them are probably struggling too. You got this 😊

You're doing great and I completely relate to the "I feed and clean all day and am just happy to get sunlight" feeling, even as a primary caregiver to my ill elderly family member. And certainly I find myself in the vicious cycle of comparison to my peers too, but ultimately I know I wouldn't want to be anywhere else because I know my family needs me exactly where I am. And I'm 100% certain you feel the exact same about Fern, you'd do everything you could for her and wouldn't change being there for her for anything and that's what amazing moms would do. So I think you're doing a great job and just continue to focus on your and your family's needs. As you said, it's day by day and it does get easier. And remember to drink some water today !!

I had help for the first 3 months with with both kids (6 months with the first) and a loving helpful husband. After that experience and STILL being overwhelmed, I’m disgusted by the lack of care, support and free resources for Moms and Dads. Whenever anyone tries to shame people for not having or wanting kids in America, it takes everything in me not to stab someone in the eye with a very sharp object. The rage is real especially when people pretend to care about families and children but it doesn’t show in public policy or event rhetoric. Best of luck. Things get better

You're honestly doing so well, and so much of what you said was true of me at this time last year. I had my daughter in January 2022, and I can hard relate to being worried about leaving the house because of the baby crying, having to feed them on the go, etc. All I can say is it DOES get easier. I used to hate people saying that to me because it felt like useless information at the time, but it is the truth. I found just going out to places nearby helped, and with other people - the support is great, and you can beat a quick retreat if need be and you're not feeling ready! But don't rush it honestly, you have all the time in the world. I also found that when my baby was a bit older, maybe around the 3 month mark, going to baby classes, baby cinema screenings etc. really built my confidence - when you're surrounded by other parents with their babies, you know at least that you're in a safe space and no one will judge you for a fussy baby! Keep going, you've got this :)

I just want to say you are doing GREAT! the way you are feeling is understandable, you are learning a whole new aspect of life. But you are doing amazing & baby girl is lucky to have you :)

Pumping and supplementing formula (started at 3 months) were a life saver! You're doing great! It's such a hard transition that is almost impossible to prepare for.

Hi Sarah, I’ve been following you for many years but never commented on one of your videos. I wanted to thank you for all the amazing content you have made and hopefully are still going to make, you’re so down to earth and real! It’s amazing to have seen you grown from young woman into a mom! I’m so here for the next chapter of your channel (if you feel like it of course). I wish you all the best with Ryan and your little girl, take care. Love, a long-time fan :)

Same girl same! The anxiety of going out and wanting to go out is so hard. The more you do it and figure it out the easier it gets going out. I still have the anxiety and have pulled into parking lots and never gotten out of the car so many times. Keep up the breastfeeding you are doing amazing thing for your baby girl! Breastfeeding in carriers are helpful for walks or when out.

I relate so much. I was so into being pregnant that I didn't research what happened after. I had no idea what I was doing and felt insane. It gets better but it is really really hard in the moment. Also, don't underestimate the first poop after labor. Don't.

It is so interesting to get to hear what a woman in postpartum really feels like mentally ! I hope you know that you're an amazing mom for your gorgeous little girl and everything you are doing is the best for her. Id love to see vlogs of you daily life with Baby Fern ❤ Sending you love and courage, youre gonna make it Sarah ! 💪

Nodding my head so hard when you talked about learning about wake windows and stuff. I think my first was around the same age as Fern when we learned about getting overtired and wake windows and all that crap. I totally thought babies would sleep if they were sleepy. It seems so incredibly unfair that they require more work to get to sleep the more tired they are. I ended up trying so many tricks to help her sleep (especially because she ended up being EFF because of BF issues) and learning the perfect ritual for her and working so hard to protect her naps. Nights got a lot better after that. Anyway, in conjunction with the wake window stuff, maybe look into high needs baby - likely because you are a highly sensitive person, she could be too and babies often express that as being a high needs baby. Her sleep fighting might also mean that down the line she might be a low sleep needs toddler. My anxiety made me fight to make my first nap as much as she was "supposed" to, and it was a bad time for us both. It took a lot of time for me to learn to follow her lead and accept that she doesn't need as much sleep as most of her peers, and she will be okay/healthy/etc with the sleep that she gets.

You are amazing I just adore you. You are already a great mom, I never had kids and hearing all this thru you is quite the education. Hope sleep times get longer for both of you soon.

OMG! I feel you so much… I’m 8 months postpartum and still have the identity struggle and this is something that I did not expect at all. And there is a term for that : Matrescence. You are doing great being the best mom that she needs! Sending all the love🧡

Hi there!! I’m 8 weeks pp. and I relate so much to almost everything you said. You are doing a great job. Keep going on walks. I have to make myself also. Winter post partum is so hard because we mamas NEED that sun. And that’s so hard to get most days in the winter where I live. Just want to say that you’re the best mom to that baby. I can see the love you have for her. I know how hard it is. But you are doing great and you’re the best mom for her. Sending you the best of luck!!

Hang in there! It really does get easier so quickly. I watched more movies and TV shows in the first 6 weeks PP than I’ve ever watched in my life. Also, my baby fights sleep so hard too so I feel you. She’s 6 months now and still squirms and cries to sleep even if I’m holding her. The overtired baby is a real thing. Once we figured that out and when she got over her colic, our life really got a lot better and we could finally enjoy our daughter.

Thank you for sharing and being honest about your motherhood journey. I find it helpful and so real. I think a large percentage of women can relate to you. Also, you are right that we put a big focus on delivery. Sometimes overthinking it and what comes afterwards is just as hard. This has been educational for me and I appreciate you for that. Thank you again sharing. You are awesome!

thank you so much for sharing, for someone still on the fence about becoming a mom, this is so helpful and eye-opening, because you always keep it real with us :) hang in there!

Sending you all the love

Thank you for this video!! I’m 3 weeks postpartum and everything you are saying and feeling I’m feeling too ima mess and feel alone. This makes me feel a little less alone knowing I’m not the only one feeling this way

Our stories are so similar. My son was three weeks early and the first 4-6 weeks were SO hard. You’re not alone. The anxiety and identity crisis is real but so is how strong you are and how good of a mom you already are. Lean into that strength and be kind to yourself. Thank you for being so honest.❤

I loved this video, it feels like a casual chat with a friend ❤️ my baby is 20 months now and I remember being where you are. I didn't feel comfortable taking her out for a looooong time, so much anxiety about her crying and people thinking I have no idea what I'm doing. But it does get easier and now we love our mama daughter dates 🥰 As for comparing yourself, please remember a lot of what you are seeing is the best bits. People rarely show the reality (one of the reasons I love your motherhood videos) and will only talk about the wins. You are doing amazing!

Fern is so beautiful!! Thank you for being so real. Makes me feel not as alone with my anxiety. I am 3 months postpartum and the most I have cooked is cream of wheat and macaroni!! It does get better. Even though it is better, I am still looking forward to even betterer. So impressed you take walks 3-4x a week. I get out for a walk with my baby once a week! The gummy smiles are so precious and heartwarming. Hang in there!

This was the most relatable video I've watched post pregnancy❤ you've basically encapsulated all of my feelings here and made me feel less alone! So glad I found this and watched today being 5 weeks pp, with the identity crisis looming.

aww she's so cute!