It’s so extremely difficult to go from believing that sex is a sin to believing that it’s what you should be doing- in 1 day.

@beckybailey5294

2 жыл бұрын

Right?!?! And some proper sex Ed would’ve been helpful! and “don’t do it or you’ll get pregnant and get STDs” doesn’t count lol! “Sexy Marriage Radio” is an awesome podcast and I have gotten SO much help for my sex life from them!

@ravendevino6419

2 жыл бұрын

I always read it and learned it as "sex for pleasure not with your husband is sinful but sex with your husband for the process of having babies is virtuous and a goal. No fun allowed. Glad I'm past that.

@onixxfilth

2 жыл бұрын

Right? That's why purity culture is so dangerous, especially to women. You can't become an instant "sexpot," readily available for and desiring your husband, if you've been told all your life that what you're about to do is wrong unless you have a ring on your finger.

@smolexfundie6458

2 жыл бұрын

Right? Literally broke down crying and shaking on my wedding night, scared, conflicted, knowing absolutely nothing, just confused and afraid!! All the anti-sex brainwashing doesn’t just POOF vanish because you’re married. I am SO thankful for my amazing husband who was willing to wait for me even though he wasn’t raised fundie and had expected sex before marriage. He loved me more than anything and put me first. We learned together and he made sure I was comfortable through the process of breaking down the fear and brainwashing, and helping me feel at ease with my own sexuality. Purity culture is so harmful and can cause longlasting trauma. I am lucky it didn’t cause me more anguish, and I was able to work through it to accept sex for MY pleasure as well.

@VW777

2 жыл бұрын

@@smolexfundie6458 The fornication culture is what is truly harmful, resulting in STD's, unwanted pregnancies leading to abortion, depression etc. There is nothing wrong with teaching the Word of God, but young people should also be prepared for a marriage relationship. Sorry that didn't happen for you.

15 of us born living 8 stillborn. Thank you for not passing this on to your daughter.

My ex husband and I were shunned by our church because he couldn't work so I did. I also had to wear pants at work which was a big no no 😂. I was upset about the situation and considered quitting my job and just "putting it in God's hands" which was what our elders suggested. I am so glad I didn't do that!

@dixiewhite2698

2 жыл бұрын

Omg 😬

@sidoniegabrielle269

Жыл бұрын

how sinful of you to want your household to have a place to live and eat… and wearing PANTS along with it! seriously though, glad you didn’t give in to those awful expectations

@hippychick420

Жыл бұрын

How dare you be equal and pick up where your husband couldn't. How dare you do exactly what he would do or does do for his family when he isn't able. That type of toxicity will have anyone questioning if its moral or not. I'm glad you're out of there & living happily (I hope)

My mom had 13 pregnancies, eight of us lived. One took his own life recently. There's 30 plus years between my youngest sibling and myself. Some of us 20 years apart.

@Sunset1705

2 жыл бұрын

I'm so sorry to hear that.

@TheBigChubbyBunny

2 жыл бұрын

Wait were you on a video where you talked about this? It sounds very familiar. Are you a woman? And you were like a mother to your younger siblings? And you protected your sister from bad stuff? I swear I've heard of this somewhere. Are you the person I'm talking about by any chance?

@snailart9214

2 жыл бұрын

@@TheBigChubbyBunny i was just going to say this, but unfortunately I think this story just keeps happening again and again in these fundamentalist circles

@jerryloufretz1797

2 жыл бұрын

My close friend came from a strong family of 10 children. At the time early 60s, Catholics who had 12 children, had their 12th baptized by the Archbioship. None of these families were very happy, mostly anxious and depressed. Not friends as adults, rarely visit each other.

@cottoncandyheart894

2 жыл бұрын

So sorry for your loss religion is evil I know how it feels to live in fear of god may the universe guide him to the spiritual realm I'm so sorry for your loss losing someone is really hard .

As a Christian, home-schooling mom I want to thank you. After watching your videos I went straight to my oldest son (homeschooled for actual educational reasons, not to hide him away) and asked him if he feels like he has enough social outlets. I had assumed church and youth group and co-op would be enough and you pointed out that it may not. We had a long talk about it, and I credit your video to prompting me to examine more closely what he needs for a social life. Thank you for sharing, it is helping others.

@susanatkinson3978

2 жыл бұрын

Good for you!

@strangementalitypaperYT

Жыл бұрын

As an educator, THANK YOU for asking your child about their needs. SO MANY homeschooling parents never do this.

@IrisSnow

Жыл бұрын

I wish my parents had listened to me about this. In all other respects they were great parents but I remember on many occasions in middle school and highschool expressing that I needed more social outlets and being shut down. My parents assumed that my church/school (the church had a one room school for grades k-12, there were between 20 and 30 students and I was the only one in my grade) and the opera choir I attended I would have sufficient access to socialization. I ended up turning to the internet for socialization and because it wasn't allowed I had to keep it hidden which led to me coming into contact with several online predators. I still don't know how to actually make and maintain friendships.

@sidoniegabrielle269

Жыл бұрын

you sound like a great mom :) the fact that you’d considered these social needs before and then discussed it further is so much more than a lot of parents do, both in and out of homeschooling. i know it feels like a natural instinct to make sure your kid is doing well in every way you can help with but it is absolutely INSANE how many parents i see who either don’t realize or don’t bother with those types of things

@ciarancooper394

Жыл бұрын

It's not just social, though, is it? Homeschooling is often about information control and educational restriction. Does he have access to a diverse set of viewpoints? Does he have outlets to disagree with authority? To make his own decisions? To create his own personhood? Ask those questions too. I don't mean to be dismissive. I appreciate that you are at least trying to homeschool responsibly.

“Just adopted” crushes my soul. Do Fundies think that adoption is less-than?

@DimaRakesah

2 жыл бұрын

Adoption is just another form of proselytizing, because you can essentially force your adopted child to convert and get some good old white savior feelings going on. I've heard several horror stories of fundy families who adopted children who could barely speak English and essentially tortured them to try to get them to be perfect fundy children and the kids either ran away or died from the abuse.

@peachxtaehyung

2 жыл бұрын

@@DimaRakesah WTF? Majority of people will not do that though... So because of the small minority who do it that means adoption is a bad thing??? 🙄😡

@meanbean6011

2 жыл бұрын

@@peachxtaehyung it's interesting how they never said ALL adoption, but you got so defensive. And lots of adoptive parents are abusive and racist towards adopted children. Read survivors stories. Why are you so defensive I wonder? Are you adopted? Or an adoptive parent?

@peachxtaehyung

2 жыл бұрын

@@meanbean6011 no I'm neither. I'm just supportive of it. And they're generalizing adoption. They don't have to say the word "all" to be generalizing

@meanbean6011

2 жыл бұрын

@@peachxtaehyung couldn't you say all adoption within fundamental Christianity is a form of proselytizing

I've never been particularly religious, and have identified as atheist since I was a teen. But when you spoke about having vaginismus I felt so much sympathy because I have the same problem. When I first started having sex I was with my boyfriend at the time, and no matter what we tried, it was always a painful and unpleasant experience for me. I felt the same shame that you did because, despite my lack of religion, I still felt like I was failing him as a girlfriend and assumed future wife. I felt like I couldn't provide him with a staple of a healthy relationship. In the end, he broke up with me after six years, I realized I was asexual anyway, and now I'm happily in a non-sexual relationship with a woman who is also ace. I'm glad that you were able to come to a conclusion that still gave you the means of being happy in life, and that you could realize that your worth is more than the kids you can produce.

@shaunsteele8244

2 жыл бұрын

it was painful and unpleasant because you were living in sin. A boyfriend is not a husband, and you committed fornication in the eyes of the Lord. Repent while you still can

@SavannahWolfieStudio

Жыл бұрын

@@shaunsteele8244 wow this seems like a tone deaf response considering the video and content of the channel this is on. Troll.

@sharileesprowls6215

Жыл бұрын

I'm very happy for you! 🥰

@Vikingshop

Жыл бұрын

Dear Savannah Hensley - I pray to God that you will come back to God, like the prodigal son, and ask Him to forgive you: kzread.info/dash/bejne/po2grpidgZOtdJc.html

@margaretgarana911

Жыл бұрын

Be happy!!!

Dear one. Such an inspirational and endearing journey you're sharing. I would like to hear more about your deconstruction in marriage. Sounds like you have a great husband. Im glad for that, since you could've also ended up in an abusive marriage due to your upbringing. Keep on doing the good work ♡

@nisaba5752

2 жыл бұрын

Hello,I'm new here. I think that was the sweetest, most thoughtful, comments I've read! I agree with you. She is so intelligent and insightful, and emotionally mature even at a young age. She's come a long way!

@hamsternellie5988

2 жыл бұрын

@@nisaba5752 yeah she is right? :) its great when someone is able to take others with them in there journey towards healing. It benefits all

Thank you for being so vulnerable and sharing your story. It takes a LOT of guts and nerve to actually talk about it. As a fellow Cyster I also had trouble dealing with PCOS while wanting children. Also as a black women I’m forever thankful that you brought up some of the ugly racism these groups have. It’s why it pisses me off SO much that mainstream media sells them as these quirky families when they are truly dangerous cults

@ecampbell5837

2 жыл бұрын

The racism this day in age is embarrassing. I don’t get it. Its skin pigmentation. Nothing more, nothing less. Who CARES. I will never understand. I could care less if my neighbour was green.

@VW777

2 жыл бұрын

What about black families that have many children? It is not just white people, that is a false notion.

Hi! We're a married couple of former-fundies and we just stumbled across your channel. It's really encouraging hearing the story of someone else who has been through a lot of the same crap as us. Thank you for making this video and sharing your story! Also, you seem so much happier now, and that's been our experience too, so, yay!! Subbed! :D

I grew up under the quiverful movement my mom has 11 babies from age 18-40 and she didn't take birth control because it was taught that's stopping God from blessing you with children and it was taught it caused abortion . Now my mom and dad don't follow this way of life anymore but the consequences of having that many children is not talked about my mom had organ prolapse and had to have surgery on all her pelvic organs because of having so many babies . My parents love all of us and happy they had us but the belief system my parents were in was toxic

@VW777

2 жыл бұрын

Exercise would have helped your mother greatly, taking care of our health is important. Also resting between pregnancies so her body can recover.

@nachtegaelw5389

2 жыл бұрын

@@VW777 even a first pregnancy can be life threatening &/or disabling. Exercise is not gonna prevent that!

@amberinthemist7912

2 жыл бұрын

How do you rest in between pregnancies with no birth control and have sex with your husband whenever he wants? Hopes and prayers?

@nachtegaelw5389

2 жыл бұрын

@@amberinthemist7912 for some people, breast feeding can delay the body’s return to regular ovulation, but not for everyone

@XenonTetrafluoride

Жыл бұрын

Yeah, I’ve noticed that things like uterine prolapse, and fistulas, are just never discussed in the quiverfull movement, even though they’re not exactly uncommon (most human bodies really cannot take that much strain and overuse). Thank you for sharing the story about your family - I’m glad that your parents are out of that life, but they still cherish all of their children - sadly, I’ve known families that just kind of ended up disintegrating into regret and neglect post-religion. 💚Sasha

This was 100% my childhood upbringing. Wow. I just thought it was normal. It bled into my adult life. I was able to break out of it myself, as an adult, after 18 years of submissive marriage and housewivery plus eleven years homeschooling my daughter. I only had one child and was accused of being selfish. Just wow. I'm 51 and STILL healing from all of this. I thought I was mostly on my own with this. I dare not speak against it bc it's blasphemy and all that. Thank you for this. Helps in my healing journey.

@venomousspecifics45

2 жыл бұрын

@Kristen Marsoi Sadly, there are thousands and thousands of folks deconstructing their experiences in Christian fundamentalism. There was a wave of fundamentalism that took off in the late seventies and eighties, so you are likely in the first wave of people to grow up in this movement. I’m forty now and was born into educational elite side of fundamentalism (I am also an exhausted former poster child!). Anyway, the first group of survivors just started sharing about the damage done by these beliefs and practices a decade or so ago. So the movement is really young. And most survivors are not able to articulate their feelings and experiences as well as Ellie does on this channel. I even found lots of Christians who don’t agree with the fundamentalist interpretation of the Bible. The problem is that the two groups use the same words to mean very different things. It’s quite confusing! There are even therapists who specialize in helping people leaving fundamentalism. That’s how I found my therapist. I found an organization that promotes “secular” therapy. Where therapists base their practice on science and evidence instead of on a personal belief (the therapist themselves may or may not be religious); it takes the religious beliefs out of therapy and instead focuses on helping the client/patient get better using the field’s best practices. It has been so much more productive and helpful than all the years of Christian counseling I went through before. And for the first time since before puberty, I am confident and like myself - it’s wonderful! It hasn’t been easy; change is always hard. But the hard work I’ve done over the last four years or so has been worth it. Anyway, all the best in your journey. I hope you find healing and peace.

I totally understand the shaming. My 'mate' (hate that word. I'm not an animal) never came along as prophesied. And the shame in having no children at all and basically being told you are cursed and it must be your fault for some sin you must be in, is even more excruciating. So glad you make these videos. Thank you.

@Plethorality

2 жыл бұрын

oh dear, i hear you! the blaming that goes on!!! argh!!! its so criuel!! its as though they ripped out every loving instruction from Jesus and twisted everything else to do the exact opposite of loving ourselves, let alone loving anyone else! and though i did marry, i tried to do a biblical marriage... it just destroyed everything marriage was all about roles and rules, and nothing about the two individuals. doomed to fail.

@ChristopherSadlowski

2 жыл бұрын

People actually said that to your whole human face!? Wow. Just wow. How do these people unironically call themselves "loving Christians" with that kind of behavior? This is absolutely disgusting, to blame someone for a "sin" being what's preventing them from being married or having kids. How are you supposed to figure out what "sin" is causing this and how the hell are you supposed to "fix" it!? Although in my mind there's nothing here to " fix". I'm single and I love it and I'm not rushing to change it.

@busylivingnotdying

2 жыл бұрын

@@ChristopherSadlowski How could they say that and still call themselves "loving Christians"? Because they believe in AUTHORITY and that means WHATEVER comes "from God" (as they see it), is loving, no matter what it is and how it sounds. This removes one's capacity for self-reflection, I'm afraid

@Plethorality

2 жыл бұрын

@@busylivingnotdying yep. trying to be co dependent to God.. doesnt work.

@busylivingnotdying

2 жыл бұрын

@@Plethorality Yes, since we REALLY haven't heard from God, it is MEN we end up being tied to. And men with unlimited power (they "have" God's authority) and no accountability (it is always "right") are supremely dangerous!

My mom and stepdad were Quiverfull when I was a kid/teenager. I have three younger siblings that are a year apart in age, and my mom battled severe depression. I was a young, homeschooled tween/teenager, so guess who took care of all three toddlers? My stepdad worked long hours too, so he wasn't around to help. I ended up joining a local church (which ended up being ANOTHER cult) just to join the youth group and have friends. At some point, my parents did deconstruct from the Quiverfull mindset, but I went on to be stuck in the other cult for almost two decades. I'm thankful to be completely free and deconstructed today, but the CPTSD still haunts me, and I mourn the fact that I didn't have a normal childhood or young adulthood.

Thank you for your total honesty. I grew up in a traditional family with 8 brothers and sisters. I still don't know why my parents had so many children, and my mother cannot give me an answer. She is not used to speaking up about her decisions, since she rarely made them for herself. Although my parents were not very religious, they came from religious families, and this culture of an external locus of control (patriarchal religion), still haunted their lives, even after they stopped being motivated by religion.The most beautiful part of your story is that not only will your daughter have a better life because of your decisions, so will every generation after hers. Thank you for that. The concept of a patriarchal G-d is a convenient tool for men to oppress women. I'm convinced patriarchy is the root of most evil.

@emilybarclay8831

2 жыл бұрын

Your mother probably didn’t even know herself why she had so many children. She probably just kept finding herself pregnant because that’s just what you did. Quiverfull women almost never actually WANT a tonne of kids, they want the image and prestige that come with it, or they just accept that kids will be their life. Your mother was probably the same due to her religious upbringing

@theirmom4723

2 жыл бұрын

no..The Bible says, it is the love of money that is root of all evil...This hierarchy that Goddard developed is an Evil Man Flesh Loving Male Dominated Cult.

@VW777

2 жыл бұрын

Thank God your mother chose life and did not abort her children. She does not have to belong to any movement, or have to give you an answer- just be grateful you are alive! In our "modern" society contraceptives are not 100% effective, and abortion is the thing many rely on to keep their family size down. It is wickedness.

Thank you so much for sharing. You are so brave. I'm really proud of you. I am a hippie mom with 8 children and homeschooled them more liberally but I fell along the edges of the quiverful movement since I already had a big family. I had no idea about the white nationalism, abuse and dominion theology. I am grateful God spared me from getting into this any deeper. One of my precious children ended up being trasgender whom we all love and accept. Can you imagine how that would have gone over?!

Oldest daughter of 5 here! I used to say I wanted 6 kids because I wanted to literally 1-up my mother. Now I'm 36 and married with no kids. And my birthday is February 17th. 😊

Channels like yours always give me a lot of hope for my cousins who are being raised in these kinds of awful cult-like situations, or who have left them behind and barely know what to do with themselves My aunt's a fundamentalist quiverfull and out of her ten kids, only four still talk to her. Of the four who talk to her, one's thirteen and still lives with her, one suffers from disassociation and has admitted they don't remember any of the abuse they grew up with, and two /used/ to not talk to her, but started again once they had their own children and wanted their kids to have a grandma.Of the ten kids, only one waited until they were eighteen to move out, the rest left at anywhere from fifteen to seventeen years old by either marrying the first person they met, or leaving for a church mission/military prep camp so they could get out of the house until they were old enough to get their own place. Also counter-productively of the ten kids, only three are still christian-- including the thirteen year old-- and on top of her turning off her own kids to the religion that she tried so hard to push onto them, she also turned off me and basically all of our other dozens of secular cousins into never wanting anything to do with it, which is impressive. I also have another aunt who's not quiverfull, but of the fundementalist 'My two year old can't watch My Little Pony because magic is Devil Worship' variety, and the, 'I'm going to kick my twelve year old daughter out for dating-- but then get mad when the state accuses me of child abandonment' variety. Suffice to say, none of her kids are Christians anymore either, and the only one who still lives with them is their patriarchal son who's just as abusive as them. To make matters worse, they're all adopted, and even though she only wanted the son, she agreed to take all three (since they're birth siblings) and somehow blames the daughters for the fact she's unhappy, even though they were too little to know they had siblings at all at the time, and she had no obligation to adopt them too. People literally tried to talk her out of it, and it's people like her who made me want to adopt all of my children, so that fewer kids have to grow up in that kind of ridiculous situation

me, in the middle of feeling deeply about the stories being told and learning a lot: OH WOW IS THAT A PUPPY

You're one of the few people I know who kept really detailed journals. I always started journals and gave up. And it's truly amazing to see you come so far after everything.

Your diary entry made me so sad for younger you. Those are the kind of thoughts I, as a 36 year old woman, might have about my day. A chold shouldn't be annoyed that a sibling wants to play because of all the work they have to do! It must damage sibling relationships as well, since you have to be in authority over your siblings instead of being equal and being friends. I'm sorry that happened. It's really unfair.

5:33 that’s a point that a lot of people miss. It isn’t just that the Campbells are Islamaphobic and that they happen to pressure couples to have as many kids as possible. It’s that their goal is to keep the Christian population above the Muslim population by outbreeding them. The two are connected.

@devvikramsingh7785

2 жыл бұрын

Islamophobia is a term to silence dissent

@qwertydog9795

2 жыл бұрын

I smell a Great Replacement connection 🤡💀

@cl5470

2 жыл бұрын

I mean, the spread of any death cult religion is a problem whether it's Christianity or Islam. Both have doctrines that are in opposition to human rights.

@arowace498

2 жыл бұрын

​@@devvikramsingh7785 its a term to call you out for your hatred, if you feel silenced good. we don't wanna hear your dumbest opinions anyways.

The problem with Fundamentalist ANYTHING - is this total externalization of the divine. And in the case of religions it is often to bolster some archaic patriarchal structures. None of this serves anybody. Both men AND women are limited by patriarchy. How many men ACTUALLY want to be the sole supporter of a wife and a whole brood of children - especially if the wife had no labor skills? Talk about pressure. And the wife, what happens if her husband is dies early or becomes ill - what happens to her and the kids? No wonder there is so much fear in these fundy communities - they are building lives on values that create unnecessary stresses upon their lives. BUT HEY, nothing like a sleazy Xtian businessman to rope up thousands of sincere and overly trusting Christians into TONS of seminars and homeschooling programs just so he can make millions, tax free of course. What fundamentalism seems to be doing the best is creating a legion of potential victims and suckers for unethical businessmen and politicians - ultimately eroding any positive legacy of Christianity. Ugh.

@historicalbiblicalresearch8440

2 жыл бұрын

Not using 100 percent of BOTH marriage partners intelligence , experience and wisdom is wasteful and damaging both emotionally and financially. If you don't believe that don't get married.

Just FYI PCOS doesn't necessary mean infertility. It's hust harder because you don't always know if/when you ovulate. I have PCOS and have 2 biological children, one of them a surprise :) There are also medications that can help, like metformin or clomid

@beccawoodward6708

2 жыл бұрын

Agreed. I have PCOS as well and have three wonderful children. Each one of them is a tremendous blessing from the Lord and our lives are very full❤️

@cerebratt2752

2 жыл бұрын

When I was diagnosed, I cried. I was in my mid 20’s and not ready and unsure about having children, but still the idea of having more difficulty in conceiving really affected me. I’m nearly 30 and not in a relationship, and even now my PCOS makes me uneasy about it all.

@beachbaby1427

2 жыл бұрын

I also was diagnosed with PCOS. I gave birth to three beautiful sons although they are 4 1/2 to 5 years apart in age because I didn't necessarily get pregnant when I wanted to. I still remember the excitement when I found out I was pregnant with my oldest. He would be 23 now but we lost him almost 2 years ago in a car accident. I remember for awhile after it happened I wanted to tell people not to have children so that they would never experience the pain and devastation of losing one.

@kimberlyfarmer6897

2 жыл бұрын

This is true but not for all of us with it. I tried everything I could to get pregnant and 21 years later I am still childless.

@kierstenpounders973

2 жыл бұрын

@@beachbaby1427 oh my gosh, I am so so sorry. I am 23 and just had my first 2 weeks ago. The thought of losing him keeps me awake at night. I just can’t imagine 🥺

The idea of living in "a Christian nation" is terrifying. Having our laws based off fantasy, where women are second class citizens and people are required to have as many children as possible NO MATTER their situation... that is hell on earth. OMG we have the same birthday! Happy almost birthday to you!

@peachxtaehyung

2 жыл бұрын

1. Alot of nations are majority Christian,2. That's only the most extremist people who are like that and believe women are second class citizens and that you should have as many people as you can... Most of us only have 1-3 kids each just like everyone else who want and try to have kids.

@DimaRakesah

2 жыл бұрын

@@peachxtaehyung My reply was in response to this particular sect idea of a "Christian nation" as quoted in the video.

@AnniEast

2 жыл бұрын

The handmaid's tale comes to mind...frightening!! I'm a Bible believing Christian and what this woman said scares me go death!

@lolanelson9634

2 жыл бұрын

I have the same BD as well! I didn’t get swept into The Quiver-full, but lost the lobe of my ear as it went whizzing past my head😬

@jackthebassman1

2 жыл бұрын

@@AnniEast Anni, life without superstition, without fear of upsetting some invisible sky tyrant is freedom.

Watching this after watching “our father” on Netflix. Anyone who hasn’t already needs to watch it!!!

Thanks for sharing! I have grown up watching the duggars and following other fundie families online and always wished I could be apart of those families until I learned the truth. It’s interesting to see how other people live and you realize that no family is perfect. I am excited to see way more vids of yours!

@Plethorality

2 жыл бұрын

cults are cults are cults.. regardless of the belief, the results are always the same: co dependency, paranoia, abuse that is ignored and abusers that are revered.

I find it really interesting that most of us eldest sisters wanted a big brother when we were younger. I haven't gone through all that you have, but seeing your younger self talk about it brought some sad memories. Im glad you are in a better place now! Much love!

I had was a fundie type also, when my 4 were born. We wanted a quiver full and were full of optimism at first. I loved them so much, but it was so very hard as were very poor and he had mental illness that just kept getting worse. The blinders of our conservative culture (keeping women in their place to please god) kept me in an unsafe situation too long. It was a long road out.

Make sure you still use contraception if you don't want more children! If you do it's all good, but PCOS doesn't make it impossible, just less likely. I'm sure you know that, but plenty of people end up having kids when they don't want them because they've been told they can't or it's not likely. As Mama Dr Jones would say (great channel on KZread) if you're having sex with somebody who can get you pregnant, make sure you're protected if you want to be! :-) x

@kylereese4822

2 жыл бұрын

Republican's want Contraception made illegal in the USA, also want to put woman to death for having and abortion(includes victims of rape/incest)

The algorithm just suggested this video to me. And I'm so glad that it did. I may not have been from a quiverfull family, but it was still a christian one. Hearing someone else go through very similar things is always interesting. I look forward to your future videos and driving into your past uploads.

You are a good mother! But not because Jesus says so. But because you are raising your daughter with love and not fundie abuse. I'm so proud of you.

The excessive religious modesty is pervasive, I've been there, but remember that there was little chance involved in ensuring that your daughter will be raised differently. You made the conscious choice to break a long cycle, and it takes work. Give yourself some credit for that.

Thank you for sharing your story. I grew up Jehovah's Witness, so I can identify with the isolation. I had heard of Quiverfull before. and Jehovah's Witnesses have some of those same hierarchical beliefs. Sounds like you have an amazing husband, and I wish your family the best.

Thanks for sharing. I can’t see how anyone can afford 20 kids in this day and age, really any day and age.

@VW777

2 жыл бұрын

Turn off the TV, work?... Not rocket science. Many larger families are very entrepreneurial.

@KerrieBerrie

2 жыл бұрын

@@VW777 What a kind comment from a Virtuous Woman *gag*

@nachtegaelw5389

2 жыл бұрын

Yeah, birth rates were higher in the past because 1) no birth control 2) a high percentage of children died young. Also, due to child labor being legal, the whole family often had to work to survive.

Your videos have helped me so much. My parents were too lazy to be full fundie, but I was definitely fundie adjacent for many years. I see so much of my story in your story.

My heart breaks for you hearing your story, I'm so sorry you experienced all this! Thank you so much for sharing. Wishing you so much peace during your continued healing and going forward ❤️

Stumbled onto your channel. I am so impressed by your thoughtfulness and thoroughness. I deeply appreciate that you're studying and sharing resources. What a gift you're giving! Thank you for your willingness to be vulnerable and honest. Sharing this experience is so enlightening. I grew up surrounded by Evangelical Christians and dabbling myself but nothing as fundamental as your experience. I can't wait to discover more of your videos. Again, thank you.

Good to hear that you’re doing well these days. It’s sad to me to hear how much people had to do and be to receive “unconditional” love

Thank you for being so open. Your story may help other women who are vulnerable.

Wow! I had the same ideas going into marriage and I also had vaginismus! I didn’t tell my hubby for 7 years because I wanted to fulfill my “duty” to please him sexually, and I knew if he knew he was hurting me then he would stop, and then he would be unhappy with me, and then he would cheat on me, and then my life would be over. This is what I told myself. I subscribed to Above Rubies magazine and every issue was so discouraging to me because I wasn’t measuring up. I had 4 kids close together, and I had undiagnosed bipolar type 2 and ADHD. I got diagnosed a few months ago. The fundy cult is full of spiritual abuse. I have healed from ALOT of trauma over the years, God has helped me through it all and I am a MUCH healthier and stronger woman today because of what he has done in my life. Religion harmed me, God healed me and I’m forever grateful! Thank you for sharing your story! ❤️😊 it has helped me and I’m sure it has helped many others make sense of the past. Religious abuse is SO SO difficult to make sense of and heal from. No wonder Jesus didn’t like the Pharisees, eh? 🤔 I wish I could meet with you and swap stories!!

It's very brave of you to share yourself with the rest of the world like this, thank you!

Thanks for sharing. These videos are heartbreaking and inspirational all at once.

I love that you have kept all of these journals that is so amazing!!!

I love that your still video editing ❤️ thanks for your work

I love that you’re doing something that you have a passion for in making your videos. Happy to subscribe :)

Thank you for talking about IBLP, it was so scary learning that material. I knew it was wrong even then.

I’m the oldest of 8. As the oldest female, I totally relate to your experiences. Thanks so much for sharing. Your videos are like a form of therapy for me.

Thank you for your deeply personal and very insightful videos.

I'm so happy you got out and it's good to see you working through your trauma. I think videos like this are very important. Religion can be good for many people but it's so easy for predators to use to horribly abuse their families. Again, I'm so glad you got out and so glad you are raising your daughter free from that.💙

I’ve been watching a few of your videos, and I’m so impressed by how far you’ve come. There are so many layers to unpack when you deconstruct and I know this would have taken so much effort, time and strength to get to where you are now.

I'm so happy to have found your channel, I think it's amazing that you're sharing your experiences, I wasn't raised by strongly religious parents but my mother was very authoritarian in her parenting style, so despite the stark differences in many of our respective lived experiences I am still relating to a lot of what you're talking about your kids, husband and siblings are all so lucky to have you, and you're an awesome person!!!

I'm barely into this video and I had to pause it to say I love your calm, reasonable, intelligent approach to this subject. I subscribed and I'm already looking forward to watching more! You go girl!

Im an IBLP survivor and I feel you! Thank you for sharing all this💚🌱

Wow. I continue to relate to so much of this.. I needed this confirmation and added resolve, that the uncomfortable and painful steps I've taken are worth it...to end these abusive, bigoted cycles before I pass them on to my young kiddos.... I was told I was infertile at 25yo and going through early onset menopause...which destroyed any shred of self preservation I had... if I couldn't have kids, that must mean that all the terrible things my family/teachers said were true...I wasn't good enough and a failure... at even my most basic of responsibilities. After much running and more trauma...I ended up delivering my little loves at almost 36yo and 39.5yo. (They are currently almost 7 & 3.5yo.) . I'm almost 43yo, finally diagnosed neurodivergent at 40 (as you can imagine that did not help me in these sorts of family systems), have been committed to deconstruction, unraveling my complex ptsd, learning all of the vital things I wasn't taught so I can give my kids all of the unconditional love, understanding, protection, critical thinking, life skills and independence that I wasn't. I guess I ramble all of this to say... if anyone is feeling alone, hopeless, worthless etc... Please know... it's never to late to learn and dry differently! You matter. Your experience is valid. You deserved better. You deserve to heal, learn, re-parent and love yourself. There is hope. You are loved (even if, seemingly, only by some random weirdo in the comments section). I feel your pain...and if you need it, like I did... you have, and need to give yourself, permission to examine your experience, childhood, trauma, indoctrination, toxic family systems etc with honest open eyes. It is OK (and beneficial to healing) for us aknowledge how we were failed as kids/people. Even if just to yourself, for now. It can get uncomfortable, and even painful, at times... but I promise you, it is worth it! In my experience, personal growth and transformation happen in a big, and more rapid, way when I have the courage to face/aknowledge the uncomfortable things/experiences/ patterns/habits/memories etc. Sending so much love, encouragement and solidarity to each of you!

I admire your bravery and honesty. Offering your story is beautiful in your willingness to be vulnerable. You are honoring your life and journey in a mindful and loving way while simultaneously helping others in their journey in a quiet way.

Thank you for sharing your story. I grew up in a very secular family, ( no religion, high value placed on higher education) so I find stories from people who have grown up with opposite values really interesting.

This is absolutely phenomenal! We appreciate you sharing your experience! We are a Christian Cult survivor, as well. We wish you many blessings on your healing journey! ✨🌻💛

Good for you! I wish you well in your journey! ❤️

I commend you for being so brave and not only deconstructing but sharing this publicly. I grew up in an agnostic home and deeply value stories like yours as they help me be a better person and friend. Thank you so much and I’m proud of you.

I subscribed because your experiences are much like my own upbringing in fundamentalism. I am the youngest of 5 and we were all homeschooled and forced to "work" for my dad's business every day after school. Needless to say our childhood was non existent. My sister and I admit to being pretty messed up from fundy-ism, my brothers at least make the appearance of doing better. Parts of me will never recover but channels like this make me feel less alone. Thank you for speaking up! I hope you are well.

I really appreciate you sharing this from such a compassionate but serious perspective. As an outsider, I can appreciate the nuanced perspective. Thank you.

Wow you are a true survivor. Keep thriving, you are amazing

A whole lotta memories came back to me when you brought up IBLP, what a nightmare of an organization haha

@knittingnighthiker

2 жыл бұрын

Me too! I had a physical nausea reaction 🤮 so many bad memories from my childhood came from that.

Thank you for sharing your story. It sounds like you have a lovely husband whose helping you through this journey. I hope you continue to grow into the woman you were meant to be.

Very informative and insightful, thankyou for being so open and honest.

Thank you for sharing such insight into your life and thoughts.

Good for you👏🏻👏🏻 I truly enjoyed your video.

Wow thank you for sharing. I cant imagine how scary and uncomfortable this must feel to speak so openly about these private things

Thank you for sharing your experiance!!!! So well spoken!!!

I’m not religious, was not raised religious, nor do i have kids of my own, I’m thankful my parents gave me the freedom to explore my beliefs as a child but this video came up on my explore page and i watched the whole thing. You have such a comforting presence about you, I wish you luck on your journey!!! It’s really interesting to see first hand the adults now who grew up in any sort of cult like religion, other than the fake stuff channels like TLC share!! Pls continue to share whatever you’re comfortable with, it helps me understand the other side of religion more!!! I hope you have a pain free day!!! (I also have a chronic illness, not PCOS but they all suck lol) 💛

beautiful, honest, discussion of your life. thank you so much for sharing your vulnerabilities and humanity. I wish you well.

As someone who grew up in a non-Christian family, this is all new, and fascinating and utterly horrifying. I am so glad that you posted this, especially for those of us who had a totally different experience. So relevant, Thx

I have to say that I really loved the sweet, heartfelt diary entries when you were young!

You are awesome Elly! A true inspiration to all genders, faiths, backgrounds, ethnicities, etc. Thank you so much for sharing your journey and wow you are a smart, courageous woman!

Wow, you are so articulate. Thank you for sharing your story

Thank you so much for sharing your story. I think when people hear quiverful, they think of the duggars. But I'm sure in all actuality there are many more stories of people just like you. So glad you found peace and truth in your life

Thank you for sharing your story! Also your dog is soooo cute.

Happy Birthday in a few days! Congrats on everything you have accomplished!!🙂

So sad to hear you talk about stressing over having babies as the focus of your sex life ON YOUR HONEYMOON.

@Plethorality

2 жыл бұрын

that is terrible. but pleasure and healthy relationships were never the goal.

@cjb2749

2 жыл бұрын

That's the problem with losing your virginity on your honeymoon... the sex isn't going to be any fun, so you fantasize about your married life, rather than your sex life

Great video. You’re a courageous person.

what a beautiful testimony - I wish I could have been there for you, as a friend. I was lucky enough to grow up in a non religious household. I had amazing girlfriends in school. They were my therapy, support. I'm so glad that you overcame this destructive cult. You're articulate, bright, beautiful. I'm happy for you!

you are so well spoken. I grew up in the evangelical covenant church. this is the third video of yours ive seen, and yours is one of the only channels that my ADHD ass can actually sit through. love from california, major props from the ADHD community, and i love your content.

Thank you for sharing your story. Beautiful dog.

You are a brave, insightful woman with an obviously very good and supportive husband. It makes me happy to know that you are raising your daughter to know that she has choices in her life. The mental abuse these cults inflict on people is never how God intended us to live. He gave us free will to love and honor him not to spend your life in servitude to another. God bless you and your family. 🙏

I'm watching your puppy. Enjoying your video, yes, but that dog is so cute!!

Congratulations on learning to LOVE life and teaching your daughter how to have fun!

You are about the same age as my daughter, and my heart reaches out to you. Consider yourself hugged.

I had the same kind of “morning sickness” as your mother, but I didn’t make it 4 weeks before we figured out I was pregnant and 1 more week before 3 different doctors told me I needed a medical abortion. Immediately. I was severely dehydrated, couldn’t do anything but lay down or throw up, couldn’t even tolerate ice chips, lost 12 pounds in 10 days, and tore my esophagus from the force of my vomiting. Also, a few weeks prior when I had NO idea that I was even already pregnant - like a whole week pregnant, I’m dead serious and not at all kidding - I’d gotten an MMR booster shot at college (mass vaccinations during a measles outbreak at a bunch of colleges, fun!) and it turned out that the rubella part of the vaccine in particular meant the fetus didn’t stand a chance. I was 18, sick beyond belief, scared, and confused, w a practically un-viable fetus (un, not non...it never stood a chance) in me, and w everything happening so fast yet w no relief from my suffering in sight. Also, I had almost zero support, which is a crazy story for another day... I agreed to the abortion - it happened immediately - and the very next day I sat down to a nice little plate of my grandmother’s homemade meatballs and then some of her eggplant (we’re Italian), and i was hungry and it was delicious and I scarfed it down and didn’t throw up. It was the MOST unbelievable and one of the most painful experiences of my life. And NOT bc of religious beliefs, btw...I had none. I was raised wo religion, pursued it for around a year in grad school, and then gave it up again. It’s just not for me. I could perhaps pursue spirituality, or even faith, but not religion. It’s just been too tainted by too many men (and plenty of womxn) for me, personally. If your mother made it through THREE PREGNANCIES w that terrible, never ending, severe morning sickness, then she’s a damn SUPERHERO!!!! Look it up..google “severe morning sickness” bc I can never remember the full Latin/medical term...”something gravidus”, I believe, or similar. I don’t care to remember the name bc the whole thing was well over 30 years ago and I don’t need to remember it anymore...I’ve had other traumas since then that I’ve also stopped remembering or am still figuring out...but I do think of it every so often, just as I do w other early traumas...they do come up. Anyway...I never had children of my own, for a number of reasons (lack of desire NOT being among them), but still...it was the right choice for the unborn children, believe me...I feel like I saved them by not bringing them into a world full of chaos and generational trauma. Instead, I chose to have doggies, and I love them like they’re my own. Which they are!!! And I’m happy and healthy and life goes on, good or bad...if there’s an afterlife, maybe I’ll get to meet my human babies there. For now, my husband and I are happy in our little apartment, living where we want to live w our current amazing and unique little pup, working, traveling, seeing family and friends - still almost all fully on pause thanks to covid, of course, but we’re still finding ways to make new and good memories - and we dote on and love on our nieces, nephews, and our friends’ children...and their doggies and other animals, of course!!! Life is good...thanks for this video and giving me this feeling of wanting to share my story...it’s good to let it out to air, so to speak, every now and then. You’re so strong and brave and so was your mother - your own parentification and your own early struggles and traumas aside - and I deeply admire you and wish you the best. Thanks for having the courage to share your story...you inspired me!!!!

@FirstNameBunchANumbers

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you for sharing

You have very appealing thumbnails which is a major accomplishment considering how boring and/or over-the-top many other creators thumbnails are. Congrats on putting out quality content that matches the tone of the thumbnails as well.

Totally not related, but i love those pillow shams behind you! So cheery ❤️

I’m so glad I stumbled across your channel I always find it comforting to know I wasn’t the only one and I find it fascinating how other extreme Christian denominations do it I grew up in a very conservative sect of the seventh day Adventist church we were all sent to boarding schools ran by the church most kids were

I would love to see you talk to Cults to Consciousness. She's a former Mormon. Thank you for your stories!

Thanks for sharing and honesty

I love your channel!

I grew up in a semi-fundie family and seeing all these videos where you discuss breaking the chain of this is fantastic.

thank you so much for this insight. it cannot be easy to battle something so deeply ingrained.... i am kind of obsessed with the quiverfull movement (from the outside, by fascination and disgust) and your video is the first about the topic that feels sincere to me. the idea of plenty siblings and a greater plan always appealed to me as an only child with no religious background/community, but never without seeing the darkness too. i see many parallels to the role of families and the mother in the Third Reich unde Hitler. Love from Germany

Thank you for your video!

Happy Birthday! ♡

There's an African American guy at my church with like eight kids this has nothing to do with racism