There's something about listening to this letter being read by the horniest vampire in history that just feels so right.

@tackbracka

3 жыл бұрын

What vampire? That is Jackie Daytona, a human bartender.

@jimajams7080

3 жыл бұрын

@@tackbracka exactly. No vampire here

@johnnyandtheinsatiablevoid

3 жыл бұрын

Um, excuse you both, but this is the narrator of Worms: Revolution

@super35media

3 жыл бұрын

This is obviously the Head of Reynholm Industries

@hilaryelizabeth83

3 жыл бұрын

Vampire? You mean an improbably handsome, One Track Lover named Dr Todd Rivers.

I thought for sure after "I'm too drunk" we were gonna get "I'm not drunk enough"

@tooruoikawa8985

3 жыл бұрын

Hey gappy;) us JoJos popping up everywhere these days

@zogzog1063

3 жыл бұрын

Nice one. How tragic would that be!

@13yearsaprepperr.jtilbury.51

3 жыл бұрын

I have heard that before !

@rangequeen

3 жыл бұрын

I’ve never said it but I have thought it 🤣

@ericvandruten

3 жыл бұрын

you just provided the perfect setup for a mum-joke.

One day I gave a co-worker a Pat on the shoulder because it was Christmas time and he seemed down. He took out a small notebook and put a check down. I asked what it was, and he explained that he recorded every time someone physically touched him. He had several names. Some with a few check marks some with a page full. He flip to the last page, and said this is my wife, and there were 2 checks. As a fellow male coworker I had 5. It saddest thing I ever saw. He recently filled for divorce.

@singerpour6946

9 ай бұрын

That’s just weird 😂

@mykal4779

9 ай бұрын

​@@singerpour6946prolly fake lol

@mcnichollsdj

9 ай бұрын

@@mykal4779 Can believe it.

@pugnugger4600

9 ай бұрын

That's a true pro vs. con list.

@Dee-yj1im

9 ай бұрын

@@mykal4779nah i can definitely see that

Spent 17 years with one and rarely felt loved. There was nothing more than a cruel desire to control. The more I gave, the more I lost. 17 years now with the next. I wake up Every Day to a smile, and, "good morning my love". And all the joy that comes with it. Hand on my heart, the best 17 years of my life, and I'm in my late 60s.

@jasperlawrence5361

Жыл бұрын

I had a similar experience, women and the violence they commit doesn't get discussed enough.

@ChubbyUnicorn

Жыл бұрын

I'm happy you found real love and happiness 😊 congratulations.

@IkesPimpHand

Жыл бұрын

@@jasperlawrence5361 it gets actively muted

@kokobunni5897

Жыл бұрын

Bruh, you men never take accountability. You’re probably a better man now, then before. You can only attract what you put out.

@thosoz3431

Жыл бұрын

@@kokobunni5897 There you go with your blanket statements, 'you men'. It labels you as a shallow thinker with a mean spirit.

Matt Berry could read the phone book and I'd be entertained. He's just that great at delivering lines!!

I would LOVE the wife's rebuttal letter and have it read by Natasia Demetriou.

@KrytenKoro

4 күн бұрын

Would you also live rebuttal letters from husbabds whenever women say that hes mistreating them? What a bizarre ask.

Oh, though female, I identify with the husband. Sadly, the day comes, when no cat is made jealous, no hair is mussed, it is neither too hot nor too cold, but no one is there to ask. That lovely closeness---savor every bit of it. Never pass up a chance if you can help it. Chances end.

@Quotenwagnerianer

3 жыл бұрын

That is exactly how it played out in my last relationship. At one point things changed. I didn't reach her anymore, she didn't feel like it. It became a nuisance. After months of refusals, I wanted to give her the space to come to me on her terms whenever she felt like it again. And so I stopped my advances altogether. We never had sex again and in the end broke up. I kind of still wonder how that could happen after a start where she was more or less awestruck by my ability to make her relax and reach heights of pleasure she never thought possible. And to me the biggest frustration was not so much the lessening frequency, it was that somewhere down the line it clearly became something she only did because she noticed that I wanted it.

@frolickinglions

3 жыл бұрын

@@JohnnyD69FG Like men are such a prize, pft!

@TCM_Hutchie

3 жыл бұрын

​@@Quotenwagnerianer You hit the nail on the head there - I went through the exact same thing, except once I decided I was pestering too much and stopped making advances, and the two of us became distant, she found comfort with somebody else. They're engaged now. Three years on and I'm with somebody else, in a happy and strong relationship, but I'd be lying if I said I don't fear history repeating itself. You never forget the feeling of being nothing but a pest, chasing after a passion your partner no longer shares.

@lepolhart9623

3 жыл бұрын

@@Quotenwagnerianer this is when your relationship ended. Women tend to give up long before the relationship officially ends. People change throughout life in their different phases of life and whilst some couples grow together most do not and get fed up with each other and end up on different paths. For some people staying with only one partner in life is not natural for them and people have different partners which is fine. I think monogamy is overrated as the romance novels and movies are usually full of bullshit and when I as a woman came to realise this in my 20's I was content with the fact of being single as at least I'm not in a relationship with someone who beats or rapes me or abuses me in some way as some people are. I have my freedom and that's a better life than what some people have.

@The-Clockwork-Eye

3 жыл бұрын

They're just dishonest and want their pretties 😉 Remain the prize, put them on a pedestal at your peril boys. But be a gentleman about it. Be aloof, as much as your balls might ache...Let them come to you.

Matt Berry's voice makes everything better and hilarious.

Sex is not the most important thing in a relationship. But it is when you aren’t having it.

@sonofhibbs4425

8 ай бұрын

…if you want it.

@chandllerburse737

8 ай бұрын

I wish it wasn’t important at all Like in general as a single man. Sexual desire at this point feels like a slave master it doesn’t feel like a real joy or want. I want to read a book i want to see a cute puppy. I feel pushed to want sex.

@martinrusev3502

6 ай бұрын

I both agree and disagree. Yes, it's not the most important thing. However, when your partner rejects you constantly, it's not funny.

@MrFreeGman

6 ай бұрын

It's the only thing that differentiates a romantic relationship from a platonic relationship.

@chandllerburse737

6 ай бұрын

@@MrFreeGman No it doesn’t, with that logic then paying and using prostitutes makes your relationship with them romantic.

I wish every time I had to say serious something to my wife, I could just type it into a Matt Berry soundboard.

@Norsilca

Жыл бұрын

Has he done a GPS navigation voice yet? If not is there a petition somewhere?

@koseorhun

Жыл бұрын

@@Norsilca no, but Steven Toast did a GPS.

@Norsilca

Жыл бұрын

@@koseorhun thx, I did find that trying to Google this

36 times in one year? That's amazing. That's about a decade for me.

@Drinnan

3 жыл бұрын

I think he meant to say 3 to 6

@dkld6575

3 жыл бұрын

@@Drinnan I thought it was 4 to 5 limes

@webinatic216

3 жыл бұрын

@@Drinnan He said every tenth time.

@badgoogle9938

3 жыл бұрын

I thought it was your letter

@nandodando9695

3 жыл бұрын

Once per 10 days

I just love the voice of Matt Berry.

Matt could read out a restaurant menu and it would be hilarious !!

@angelofverdun456

3 жыл бұрын

The obituary of a newborn.

@jimajams7080

3 жыл бұрын

Oh yes he could. And I would love every second of him doing it. He's amazing

@CleverGirlAAH

Жыл бұрын

"Zes-tee Pork PIE."

@kenchristie9214

Жыл бұрын

Olivia Coleman could read out a technical manual and make it even more hilarious.

@WinkLinkletter

Ай бұрын

He could read the bill and I'd laugh.

I was watching an old Gogglebox episode today with the two sisters, Ellie and Izzie considering: “If you had to decide between roast potatoes and sex, which would you choose?” The amount of pause and thought put into it cracked me up. The spuds won.

@OffGridInvestor

2 жыл бұрын

And to think how easy roast potatoes are to come by.... I have bought potatoes for 44 aussie cents a kilo....

@madwhitehare3635

2 жыл бұрын

@@OffGridInvestor ..🤣

@simdoughnut659

2 жыл бұрын

Not gonna lie, these days if my choice was a large plate of deep fried potato wedges or sex, I'd probably pick the potatoes 9 out of 10 times.

@theprousteffect9717

Жыл бұрын

To quote the late Anthony Bourdain on the choice between eating a delicious meal and having sex: "Depends on who's cooking and who's fucking." I will choose great sex over even the best roast potatoes most days, but you have to remember that so little sex is great.

@shmataboro8634

Жыл бұрын

@@simdoughnut659 if I wanted another baby really bad I'd probably go with the sex....but I'd check the calendar first. I'm not gonna pass up the potatoes if I'm not on a fertile day 😉

I think people highly discredit the importance of a strong sexual relationship with the one you love. It is the only time that nothing else in the world matters but the two of you in those brief moments of passion. It is the emotional link that keeps your hearts in synch it's not just about the act. So much more than that.

@nemnyoom

7 ай бұрын

yeah, but you can get the same result with less mess and more fun by building a lego set together

@matjazpovalej4146

7 ай бұрын

@@nemnyoom legend

@owamuhmza

7 ай бұрын

@@nemnyoomis that you, Sheldon Cooper?😂

@nemnyoom

7 ай бұрын

@@owamuhmza no. sheldon cooper is a fictional caricature of an autistic person. i am real

@351cleavland

7 ай бұрын

True. However, nobody has ever complained about hurting their foot in the middle of the night because they accidently stepped on your penis.@@nemnyoom

Moral of the story - If you're gonna marry a quantity surveyor, you better put out.

@billburr5881

3 жыл бұрын

No, moral of the story is don't get married!

@frankshailes3205

3 жыл бұрын

Haha, the keeping score was a bit freaky.

@bjharvey3021

3 жыл бұрын

@@billburr5881 The marital status of the participants mentioned within the correspondence has negligible consequence in this particular instance. I had to look up how to spell correspondence, though.

@SN-sz7kw

Жыл бұрын

😂

Sadly, I wish I had that guys success rate.

@ConSamification

3 жыл бұрын

Me too!!!! 😂 well jealous of Don the ungrateful swine.

@richardbecraft2641

3 жыл бұрын

If you got married you'd have someone who let you touch their butt whenever you wanted.

@ATMOSK1234

3 жыл бұрын

I think not

@eskimogolfer

3 жыл бұрын

averaged 11 for ten years...

@dovermaskot4441

3 жыл бұрын

Me too. Your wife never said yes once to me.

Not only has this been an entertaining comedy spot, reading all the comments has been highly entertaining and thought provoking as well. Thank you for posting all of this!!

Every Matt Berry character is just Matt Berry in makeup and costume.

@An_Arbitrary_Miscellany

Жыл бұрын

And that's just as it should be.

@ZomBabeZoe

10 ай бұрын

That's the great thing about him

"Is that all you think about? 83 times".😂 The Irony of that is so beautiful, cause I'm on his side, but the fact that he's been recording every attempt... yeah I think it is all he thinks about. 😂

@MugenNiFukuzatsuna

10 ай бұрын

I have to disagree. I believe the issue here is that he sees it as a numbers game. Since she turns him down so much, my man is shotgunning chances even when he doesn't really want to to achieve the desired amount.

@smallpseudonym2844

10 ай бұрын

@@MugenNiFukuzatsuna Once-a-day attempt isn't even shotgunning. More than most, sure. But well within the realm of normality. And "seeing it as a numbers game" can sometimes be forced when the partner gaslights your sense of being rejected. They refuse to acknowledge the problem, so you document.

@_Sloppyham

9 ай бұрын

@@smallpseudonym2844once a day is kinda excessive, at least for me. That would fuck with me

@markdatheist9179

9 ай бұрын

No one really cares about food... until you are constantly starved.

@dsc3275

9 ай бұрын

A starving person only thinks about food. Take care of the guy regularly and well and he'll settle down and ask for it a lot less.

His voice is great.

@musa2775

3 жыл бұрын

That's just the way we talk in Tucson, Arizonia.

The fact that thanks to the 2019 series I can't divorce Matt Berry's voice from the character of Moominpapa makes this better.

@dontbefatuousjeffrey2494

2 жыл бұрын

OMG I HAD NO IDEA THIS WAS A THING THANK YOU SO MUCH

@rottengrapes8605

Жыл бұрын

wait what? i had no clue lol thats dope

@Auritilien

Жыл бұрын

omg thank you for sharing this bit of information :''DDD as a Finn I've never bothered with the other dubs

@joshw3010

24 күн бұрын

I still see him as the zoo owner from The Mighty Boosh.

It will make the cat jealous haha that made me laugh.

29 years with my husband and still an average of 3 times per week. It’s the nicest way to feel close and loved 🥰.

@AthelstanEngland

10 ай бұрын

Got a sister?

@moron0000

9 ай бұрын

​@@AthelstanEngland literal pig

@illnessshaw

9 ай бұрын

I’m on the verge of leaving my woman. I moved in with her about 2-3 years ago and for the majority of that small amount of time sex is basically out of the question. We are at about once a year or less already. It’s pretty insane can’t even ring it up to her

@moron0000

9 ай бұрын

@@illnessshaw she might be comp-het. Basically a lesbian who's been socially conditioned to believe she's straight because it's socially and culturally required of women to like men, otherwise their gender is in question. My honest advice is to ask her directly, because that's the fastest way you can solve this. Obviously that's a bit of a blunt force aproach, so you're free to do this in whatever way you feel is confortable. But make no mistake: love involves sexual attraction, as well as emotional. Her not liking you back is indeed abnormal and something that needs resolution, one way or another.

@maargenbx1454

9 ай бұрын

@@illnessshawShe might have a libido issue, either naturally low or a medical/hormonal/nutritional/psychological problem. Be kind and non-confrontational when you discuss it (which you really should). Hopefully she’ll take it seriously and get herself checked out. If there’s a natural mismatch in libido between you and her, that has dire implications for the relationship.

"I'm not in the mood = ALL THE TIMES."

@AmyFerguson

2 жыл бұрын

well get her in the mood boy....lazy ass haha

"ever loving" is a good choice of words to say the least

This is basically a Redd Foxx routine from decades ago. The second part of the routine is the letter from the wife in reply, which casts the whole thing in another light

@cassun603

3 жыл бұрын

what was the other light

@Neocorey11

3 жыл бұрын

@@cassun603 yellow

@LynxSouth

3 жыл бұрын

@@cassun603 I barely remember, but I think it's the one where the guy is a total klutz, accidentally pulling her hair (giving her a bald patch), getting his elbow in her eye (giving her a black eye), and a whole list of injurious calamities. He's lucky she lets him in the same room.

@henriquetelles36

3 жыл бұрын

And that light is? Maybe she dislikes the guy... maybe the guy is a deuche. But that doesn’t explain why married for sometime male here can relate to this. Some of us can put on with it , some start getting it elsewhere.

@billburr5881

3 жыл бұрын

@@LynxSouth Maybe she should make love to him then, show him how it is done!

Was with the same lady 21 years. Past 15 years is was a struggle. After divorce found a new, now we have been together 11 years, newer have to ask twice :) Don't know how this works, some humans just like sex more than others....

Good luck Don.. never give up hope!

@pauljordan4452

Жыл бұрын

At least Don is married.

"Letter from a Simp (who is oblivious to the fact that his wife is not attracted to him or is getting it somewhere else) to his miserable wife"

I’m getting through the 4th year after my daughter’s death using laughter. This is my choice for July 30, 2022. Much love. 💕🐝💕🇺🇸

@davidturcotte831

Жыл бұрын

Peace and love, friend. You have my condolences.

@kenyas.stewart6864

Жыл бұрын

Perfect recipe for grief! Sending you big peace and lots of laughter! I'm gonna copy this recipe.

@amazinggrace5692

Жыл бұрын

@@PersisP everything? no.

@Nikki-333

Жыл бұрын

We just had our 5 year anniversary for our baby daughter. It’s a horrible grief and club I never want anyone to join. I’m so sorry. Hugs and love to you! 💖

@amazinggrace5692

Жыл бұрын

@@Nikki-333 Thank you. Only those of us in the club truly know. Hugs and peace to you. People ask me if it gets better and I say that not so far. 💕🐝💕

I love it 👏 TYSM ❤ I hope someday I'll be able to sit in the audience and enjoy it live.

@ofure2975

2 жыл бұрын

Me too🥺😁

Best VO actor, Ever!

Damn, that hits close to home

Thank you Matt!

This guy could read through a phone book... I'd listen

Married my wife 27 years ago. Died aged 50. Pancreatic cancer. I married her for her mind, not her body. A brilliant scientist and never once won an argument. She was my soul, my confidante, my reason for existence. I miss her every day and we had a wonderful relationship. Yes, it had it’s ups and downs, my extensive travelling abroad on business didn’t help, and I was never unfaithful. She was the most wonderful friend, wife and lover. Men need to remember that women need to be respected, coveted and cared for. They are our ying to their yang. Each different, but intertwined, and inseparable when you meet your soul mate. I miss her.

@melissachartres3219

Жыл бұрын

But women need to remember that men DESIRE THEM AND HAVE NEEDS!

@roxanneboughen4098

Жыл бұрын

lovely... what a wonderful comment, and a rare one from a man...

@sheissaaaaa

Жыл бұрын

@@melissachartres3219 they'll never understand. it's getting worse every day. the gender wars are here to stay.

@pinballrobbie

Жыл бұрын

Sorry for your loss, I have been through this myself so I understand.

@topsyfulwell

10 ай бұрын

​@@melissachartres3219 She delivered his needs, not his wants 😊

My wife just asked me if I wrote the script for this.... lol

Wanting what you don't have and then not wanting what you've have.

more proof i'd listen to anything matt berry says

I would love to hear a reply from Mrs Don. Something along the lines of "Dear Don, you might improve the stats in two ways: 1. acknowledging that foreplay is more than a poke in the back accompanied by the words 'willy says he's cold, can he borrow your muff" and 2. entertaining said muff for longer than two minutes and then returning it in a less than satisfactory condition. " ;-)

@christineharrelson4831

3 жыл бұрын

I mean, who refuses sex when it's really good?

@ezakustam

3 жыл бұрын

@@christineharrelson4831 Some women.

@jonathanfarley2023

3 жыл бұрын

She didn't say that before the wedding, and you and she both know why she never said that before the wedding.

@jihigh482

Жыл бұрын

Yeah it's only after you get married yhat you magically realize that you don't like the way he goes about it right? Lmao. Always the poor victim. Yet you complain when we cheat. We'll keep cheating

@Gintoki_Madao

Жыл бұрын

Seems you're still blaming the guy Despicable

Oh thank you so much

I used to dream of 36 times a year!!

@edp3202

3 жыл бұрын

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

@LaughingRampage

3 жыл бұрын

Once every 10 days is a solid average.

@edp3202

3 жыл бұрын

@@LaughingRampage I think so too.

@John-Johnston

3 жыл бұрын

@@edp3202 Of course you think it's solid. You're the woman half of the equation.

@edp3202

3 жыл бұрын

@@John-Johnston 😉

I love him in the TV show What we do in the shadows. Super funny.

"we'll make the cat jealous" That poor guy.

Snuffbox is one of the best shows ever

Can't imagine anyone else reading this 🥰

Marriage sounds awesome. Can’t wait!

@chadmueller1784

Жыл бұрын

Yup, I don't get the sense that population control is a big problem if we just increase the marriage rate!

Feeling kinda bad for the guy sat next to the woman who's nodding whilst laughing along to all of these.

@markbryant4641

3 жыл бұрын

Pornhub's made the whole sweaty mess redundant.

@henriquetelles36

3 жыл бұрын

Well when she finds out he is getting it elsewhere she will not nod with a smile. She will sob and ask why?

@romeaffair

3 жыл бұрын

@@henriquetelles36 God no, I'd be glad to be left alone. Sex is boring.

@NPC-nn4qe

3 жыл бұрын

Mistook your avatar for the SWTOR logo for some reason...

@jihigh482

Жыл бұрын

@@romeaffair You're the boring one, honey.

I'm surprised "keeping track" was not one of the reasons!

"I'm not drunk enough" - 107 times.

@elizabethhuber434

Жыл бұрын

Maybe the odds would be better if he improved his technique so she might actually enjoy it enough to make it worth her while even if not drunk.

@stevescuba1978

Жыл бұрын

@@elizabethhuber434 perhaps, but I have spoken with a number of women who can't make themselves orgasm, let alone help a man understand how to get them there. Maybe their female partners need to be proactive in helping them to understand what is missing. I have been in relationships on both sides of this. In one, I was easily capable of getting her there, partly because she could direct me somewhat toward what worked best for her. In the other, there was no communication that she wasn't enjoying it as much as she could have, even worse she would fake her pleasure so I had no feedback to guide me. I only truly knew (I got a sense of it) when we broke up and she tried to blame it on my lack of performance....funny, the one who couldn't or wouldn't communicate is the only woman who ever had that complaint. Women have it easy, just say yes, and a man will find pleasure. Men need to take courses in anatomy, biology, psychology, and the romantic arts just to perform, and then even if the performance is great, some audiences just aren't receptive. I don't necessarily mean this directed at you, but I see this from women all the time, and generally when I ask what they do to help the situation, I get silence or attacked for hating women. I don't hate women. I love my wife of 18 years (of whom I was not referring earlier), and I love my daughter. I want both of them to have healthy and fulfilling relationships, so my motivation to even join these conversations is from that.

@elizabethhuber434

Жыл бұрын

​@@stevescuba1978 I was going to fire off something dismissive but after thinking on this, I am going to answer in the spirit in which you replied which seems genuine at least. There are sooo many reasons why women have painfully little knowledge of their own sexuality and indeed have so much guilt and shame that they cannot express to their partner what they need. However as a follower of Ben Shapiro, I am sure you can mansplain to everyone why those reasons are invalid.

@stevescuba1978

Жыл бұрын

@@elizabethhuber434 I appreciate your attempt at not being dismissive, until you got dismissive with your assumption about me based on things I watch. I would not say women's insecurities are invalid. But I would say that women seem to only focus on their own insecurities, while having no sympathy for the fact that men also have insecurities. I get it, you (women, not you personally) don't know your own bodies, you can't explain them to yourself or your partner, you're too afraid, insecure, and ashamed to discuss it intimately, but it's all the man's fault and you can happily say so publicly...further denigrating men for something that has nothing to do with them. Then you (you this time) get upset and defensive, make a personal (albeit subdued and mild) attack because your feelings are hurt that a man pointed out that the problem lies with you, the solution lies with you, and you haven't tried to fix it. This is a similar concept to being angry with your man because YOU dreamed something ugly. Every bit of the problem starts in your head, but is somehow the man's fault. I am being genuine, because I hope to help somebody see the conundrum, and maybe they can sort it out in their own relationship. Also, I am a little defensive myself, because I am sick of watching men take the blame for everything whether it is our fault or yours. Nobody wants to be the fall guy all the time, and from personal experience, eventually a man just won't give a damn to be blamed any longer. Regarding insecurity and shame...a man is expected to be an all-knowing god in the bedroom, we KNOW that women expect this, we KNOW that men get shamed for not being such. Yet, even if we ask questions that make us vulnerable, women can't or won't explain, and most often just feel disappointed and pretend everything is fine until lack of fulfillment brings resentment, or worse, destroy a man's reputation for it. I've seen this pattern in dozens of relationships, one of mine and many around me. Do you not think that men have equivalent insecurities? Do you think that men don't feel shame, especially when women seem to love shaming us? Do you think that there is a solution that women can offer? I do. And to me, the answer is to stop blaming men for not knowing what is in your heads, when you don't know yourselves. Then, damn your insecurities and help him understand your needs. Another part of the solution, and the one that normally sends women up a pole, be a virgin when you get married, then you can't lay quietly back remembering the man who didn't marry you and compare his sexual prowess to the man who loves you enough to put a ring on it. Learn what works for you together, rather than just expect that your man has a master key to locks that are hidden. All this to say, men own some of the blame as well. We should do better to try and understand and fulfill women's needs. I will say in our defense though, it gets old very fast being in a relationship where only one of the two cares to do so. I have seen the pattern again and again, and watched dozens of women sabotage the men they claim to love without remorse or self-reflection. And while I watch Ben Shapiro, I am not a huge fan of his. I tend to watch people who I think know more than I do about certain topics so that I might learn. I have watched countless hours of videos on relationships and sexuality, from both men's and women's perspectives. I watch MGTOW videos, even though I have a loving traditional wife, because I try to understand what other men are going through (and give them advice to have better relationships). I watch all sorts of things that people send me, much of which is quite contrary to my own way of thinking, because unlike most people, I don't just parrot what others say. I form my own opinions from various resources, then I mansplain away. And by the way, mansplain is a stupid derogatory made-up word that women use, which really means, "I feel dumb for not knowing and needing something explained" most of the time. From my perspective, and in my experience, men don't explain things to people who understand things.

@elizabethhuber434

Жыл бұрын

@@stevescuba1978 Thank you for all your paragraphs mansplaining to me how I am wrong for the basis of my own personal opinion (which, since we are strangers on the internet, does not affect your world at all). Thank you for mansplaining what mansplaining means TO YOU. Now I can clearly see how you get attacked when asking "sincere" questions about this topic. Pro-Tip: If you are only asking questions so you can seize upon any opportunity to explain/defend your view, it kinda starts feeling not very sincere. Please, let us put this argument to bed and do not reply to me in paragraphs as I am the kind of person who feels obligated to put at least some kind of effort into MY reply since you took the time and thought to write it instead of just putting a laugh react which was my first impulse.

Absolutely brilliant 🤩 😂🤣

Love this❤️

I'm slightly face blind and had to look it up to be sure: Yup, it's Douglas Reynholm from The IT Crowd. While I was at it, I had a look at what else he's in and now I have great expectations.

This man made a list 😂

For a moment I thought this said Mary Berry, that would have been even better. Everything goes better with cake.

I've got a cat like that.

@tomcutts9200

3 жыл бұрын

Yeah cat jealousy is real!

@euc5957

3 жыл бұрын

Probably shouldn't be having sex with your cat at all

@TheScreamingFrog916

3 жыл бұрын

The dog's watching, scratching at the door, barking, etc. Tried to put the dog in the back yard, and he starts howling. Hard to get in the mood, when they are making all that racket. It's funny, because it's true.

@LividImp

3 жыл бұрын

@@euc5957 It's ok, the cat told me it's into it. It's not my fault you can't read the minds of animals.

@LynxSouth

3 жыл бұрын

@@TheScreamingFrog916 Invest in chewy treats or bones. That's bones with an S, for the dog. Give him something he likes better than watching you. Or just let him watch.

36 times a year would be like winning the World Cup! 😂

It will make the cat jealous is the best lol

I would love to hear the wife's reply!

Once every ten days….not so bad.

Sadly, this makes me depressed because this seems like a lot.

@lisasommerlad1337

3 жыл бұрын

a lot of sex, or a lot pf excuses? i cannot relate to the excuses.

I swear I've seen this before and there is a scathing, equally pedantic reply from the wife

36 times in a single year? I would think I’d have died and been in Heaven for a year & a half. Anyway, I give you credit for your persistence. I’ve pretty much given up asking.

@thosoz3431

2 жыл бұрын

Life is short my friend. Perhaps ask your partner for a solution.

@leechessman9692

Жыл бұрын

Solution is easy. Unless kids are involved.

@lrom5445

Жыл бұрын

@@leechessman9692 The could get along in every other way. I think this calls for a mistress.

@nickchemist723

Жыл бұрын

Smack it off her face while she’s sleeping and demand she do her wifey duties aka man up and act like one

@nickchemist723

Жыл бұрын

Who knows it might even turn her on instead of a pansy who doesn’t demand his wife take care of his needs

I have heard that speach several times, and I wondered, have anyone ever counted the listing of 'times'? And then I did. To all the interested ones, the beloved Matt's wife refused him an intimate moment 308 times, which together with his astonishing succesful rate of 36 times, is in total 344 a year. What happened to missing 21 days? I assume Matt did take the matters into his own hands:)

@howardchambers9679

2 жыл бұрын

Don't we all? And I neither have to cuddle or talk softly to, my hand.

@avaDesdemona

2 жыл бұрын

That probably was January, before he made a list.

@Older_Mountain-goat_1984

2 жыл бұрын

Are you not aware Matt was reading someone else's letter to their wife?

@margaret6839

2 жыл бұрын

Those were the days Don refused.

@messainadir6279

2 жыл бұрын

Her period

The cat and mud pack ones are the best 😂😂

36 times is a 7 year avg for me lol! this guy is NOT in a dead bedroom relationship.

@artrosemaloca4663

3 жыл бұрын

fucking divorce man

@lewisbirkett4428

3 жыл бұрын

He absolutely is you're just in a graveyard bedroom. idk why people stay together when they're so unsatisfied

@antonysoares670

Жыл бұрын

holy shit homie get a divorce

Did she ever say to you, one morning while getting ready for work, in a cheerful upbeat manner, “I could live the rest of my life without sex!”

@billburr5881

3 жыл бұрын

The marriage is over.

@spleerfloof

3 жыл бұрын

@@billburr5881 Yep I divorced her in 1999, no regrets.

@StupStups

3 жыл бұрын

Ouch. Why does it have to be this way...

@fdc1282

2 жыл бұрын

We don't have sex daily by any means but if she ever said that I'd leave.

@palakiss8533

Жыл бұрын

I got that one advice most likely will end up cheating on you been done to me

Umm, 36 times a year is 3 times a month. How is that NOT succeeding?

@RoyalBlue4486

9 ай бұрын

Exactly.

@mikepalmer2219

9 ай бұрын

I remember when it was alt least that a week. Usually more. Especially if you counted multiple times a night. Now I am lucky to get once a month. Usually more like once every 1.5 months to 2 months.

@readmachine18

8 ай бұрын

​@@mikepalmer2219Definitely worth talking about, or potentially seeing a couples counselor/sex therapist. A lot of things affect a woman's sex drive, from medication to emotional fulfillment.

Husband needs to up his game.

This is soooooo gooood!

this for men, as you get older one of the mercies is that your drive lessens. may seem like that is a bad thing now, but you will find it relaxing in a way.

@jihigh482

Жыл бұрын

Speak for yourself lol I know pkenty of men in their sixties who still fvck like rabbits and I'm talking about younger girls. They are all married as well lol

The comment section is very enlightening. It's almost possible to tell who's in a long term relationship ("every 10 days is pretty good!") versus who isn't ("omg sexless marriage!").

@nickchemist723

Жыл бұрын

Been married for 8 years have sex still pretty well daily . Once every ten days what’s the purpose of staying at the pin t just will make people get it elsewhere . Fill the belly empty the sack

@annnee6818

Жыл бұрын

Yes! I had sex with my ex husband three times a week and he was whining at me constantly that it wasn't enough. No efforts to get me in the mood, constantly absent for business and then I was supposed to fall on my back when he entered the door. Men seem to think whining is really hot. This cliche that women don't like sex needs to die, it's bullheck.

@becominghero9754

Жыл бұрын

The opposite, actually: long term couples actually have MORE sex. Once every ten days is actually too high to be safe for singles (you can't get reliable STD testing between partners this way). Your risk only drops after you have been a year with the same person. So most health conscious singles cannot maintain that average for long. Even with reliable condom use, HIV risk only drops by 85 percent, HSV only drops if the sore is perfectly covered and you never shared fomites (towels or bed sheets), HPV risk may not drop (especially if anal is involved), and chlamydia risk does not drop much (based on NIH estimates back in 2001 later proven by the rise of chlamydia in the US despite increased condom use and decreased pregnancies). Current recommendation is condom use and a full STD panel between partners, taken a month after last intercourse to ensure time for antibody development, with a barrier method used for a full year together--or abstinence. Married people have a much lower risk, ease of access, and the benefit of time. Shoot, it's more than marriage, monogamy itself my increase your sexual chances: a sociological study in the APA Journal even found that people report better sex if they only ever have one lifetime partner (and even better if they waited, since the brain has nothing to compare it to and no fear of experimentation because of the trust built up). If your marriage is not satisfying both partners, that's actually a good reason to talk to your doctor, as long as they are well trained in sexual success. I mean, shoot, I'm a sexual health physician. And available. Just search up Healthcare By Jen Finelli, and even if you're not a patient I can get you sexual health coaching. And there are people better than me out there. Marriage is hard, but it can be hard if you want it to be. ; )

@jenniferpearce1052

Жыл бұрын

@@becominghero9754 😆I was wondering what kind of person has all this info at their fingertips...and then I got to the end. I hope your sense of humor puts your patients at ease. (5 years ago, there were reports that chlamydia was up in the US due to unprotected sex in old folks' homes. Without pregnancy risk, they thought they didn't need to use condoms. And maybe thought their partners were more honest than they were.)

@StarboyXL9

Жыл бұрын

@@annnee6818 While I see your point, when turning you on requires the equivalent of solving a Rubix cube while performing a traditional Mongolian underwater tap dance and turning a pretzel into a dove while sawing another woman in half using one's toes... It's a bit of an issue. I suspect a bit of meeting one another halfway might have helped.

Well done.

Don didn't know a thing about foreplay.

Our cat DOES get jealous! 😅

"You and she were... buddies, weren't you?"

God this is reliving my previous marriage

Love this guy

Christ, that brought back some painful memories. However, it does remind me to be thankful that I'm no longer married.

@joycetaylor8057

3 жыл бұрын

I'll bet your ex wife is also thankful

@billburr5881

3 жыл бұрын

@@joycetaylor8057 A man who turns off the money tap ends up in jail with a conviction for domestic abuse! A defacto marriage (cohabitation) is not considered valid if there is no sex. A marriage with no sex is not a marriage!

@peterclarke7240

3 жыл бұрын

@@joycetaylor8057 Very much so! Everyone's a winner. Well, apart from her current partner, that is...

@peterclarke7240

3 жыл бұрын

@@billburr5881 Everyone is different. For some people, intimacy is very important, for others, it is less so. The trick is to find the person who likes the sort of things you like in roughly equal measure, or at least likes things that can exist easily alongside the things you like. I was unfortunately too young to realise this was important when I got married many years ago, and it was a contributing factor in our marriages failure, for which both of us were at fault. As such, I've never held it against her. (she never let me near enough 🤣 ).

@joycetaylor8057

3 жыл бұрын

@@billburr5881 No women in the U.S. has to have sex with a man if she doesn't want to. She doesn't owe it to him, it is not part of any "contract. The reason most women don't want to have sex with their husband is because he is no good in bed and it's just a big bother that she gets nothing out of. It's just the truth...deal with it.Of course this doesn't pertain to o...no, we women have done such a good job of faking it that you actually think you have talent....news flash...you don't

It will make the cat jealous 19 times lol ? Id expect it once cause its so silly. But she used it 19 times, thats just weird.

@erudite8481

3 жыл бұрын

Cats take relationships seriously

@jonquilcat7945

3 жыл бұрын

My cat definitely gets pissed off at me after intimacy. Jealous, needy little creatures 😹

When your married to a statistician.

"Is that all you think about?" 🤣🤣🤣

It will make the cat jealous....hahaha! And 18 times...seriously? :)

They don’t even own a cat 😀

Dude's complaining about a one in ten chance, I haven't been that lucky in years.

Brilliant 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I did it a total of 3 times in my 30s. 6 years of which, I was married.

Fair play, Don. You used data collection & stats to empirically demonstrate your point. PS. I'd get shot of that Cat.

My wife is not nearly as imaginable with those numerous excuses. She just says, NOPE and that's it.

@StarboyXL9

Жыл бұрын

This is why I fear getting married. Women just get to pronounce a death sentence on a marriage on a whim and nobody pushes back against it.

@mightytaiger3000

Жыл бұрын

@@StarboyXL9 if you think a marriage is kept alive by sexx, you’re probably not that good at it and definitely shouldn’t be getting married anyway.

@Gintoki_Madao

Жыл бұрын

@@mightytaiger3000 that's not the point The point is that intimacy is still wanted

@pusspaws2u611

Жыл бұрын

Once you put a ring on some woman that is it for you - the only place left is the mountain of mordor

@tarci2994

Жыл бұрын

​@@mightytaiger3000 no but if love someone you also want them to enjoy. I have with my wife 2 times a day atleast.

This was beautiful. I love loves ass off!

Gosh I was thinking once every 10 days was almost tolerable

It will make the cat jealous lol

kinda sad how she had to come up with so many excuses because for sure she felt like the rare, but honest "i'm not in the mood" wouldn't work

@ClockworkGearhead

9 ай бұрын

She was in the moon. Just not for him. That's the subtext here.

I understand this writer. Keep up the good fight.

the struggle is real

This would be a lot funnier if his strike rate wasn't so good!

Anyone who asks for sex every single day just to be rejected most of the time, has missed the boat. If you're consistently getting rejected, stop asking for sex, and start talking to your partner about what the issues are. There is certainly something going on that you both should have an honest conversation about. The old saying goes: "You either have uncomfortable conversations or an uncomfortable relationship."

@Gintoki_Madao

Жыл бұрын

Nah Your partner knows you want to have sex, why don't they show initiative by going about why they are rejecting this pleasure to you

@guharup

Жыл бұрын

yawnsvillle

@keepawake3055

Жыл бұрын

You can’t fix it, they’ve already got up and left the room before you even bring it up in the conversation.

@tb-dv1zc

Жыл бұрын

God bless you for bringing truth and wisdom to such a difficult subject. You ARE spot on

@tb-dv1zc

Жыл бұрын

@@guharup bet you don't have a good sex life

I wouldn't turn down Matt Berry.

If only windows could be closed! Oh wait, they can be. Funny video.