I am pretty judgmental but when I’ve analyzed it, I realize it comes from my parents. They often have comments about everyone and everything. But I don’t blame them. It’s still my responsibility to change and improve. I realize I still have the feelings but stop myself before saying anything and I analyze my thoughts. But I want to get to the point where that’s not my first reaction, if that makes sense.

@kristenfan0525

4 ай бұрын

Makes total sense! Feel like I’m in the same place as you, hope we both get to where we wanna be!!

@latoyamalone1423

2 ай бұрын

I totally get it. Generational patterns only repeat when we don’t intentionally look for the root cause of behaviors. Shout out to us all doing the right work toward living our Best Life Now.

@rscott2247

Ай бұрын

Some cĺaim that we choose our parents.

I just started having this mindset about a month ago and my goodness has my life changed for the better. I cried while watching 😭 this is so powerful and 100% truth

@jackedonplants5226

Жыл бұрын

amazing, I just watched it and I so hope it can have the same shift in me. I'm so tired of Judging people, I'm a compassionate person but it's such a wired in program. It's knocking me of alignment and high vibration every single day. Time to put a stop to it! Congrats on your healing journey!

@poojachheda999

Жыл бұрын

How to do it

@cassandro9445

4 ай бұрын

​@@poojachheda999☝️

I felt this deeply, thank you for being vulnerable, it’s not easy in the world we live in, but you are powerful in that vulnerability in empowering others to heal. My coping mechanism is food, and through my journey and your guidance I’ve been able to fight against it and for my health and the well-being of my kids. Thank you so much Lisa, God bless you always.

@lisamateotv2281

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you ❤️

@lisamateotv2281

2 жыл бұрын

you are beautiful inside and out

@DBLuvPack

10 ай бұрын

❤

@charlesjung2790

5 ай бұрын

This was so beautifully said, "you are powerful in that vulnerability in empowering others to heal. "

@cassandro9445

4 ай бұрын

​@@charlesjung2790indeed ❤

Beautiful. I hope many people see this message and try to use it each day. I will try too. Thank you Lisa x

The message is to try to understand peoples histories to understand the present and know how to deal with it. Always a relevant question that people often want to avoid. The answers may not excuse reality, but they’re a start to possibly framing how we want to change and react.

@lisamateotv2281

2 жыл бұрын

yes!

Learning all about myself and how others work. I feel like this is such essential learning. We deal with people our whole life. Making money seems so superficial when the main goal is to spend the time understanding who you are and who you could become, that’s such a genuine goal

I do not remeber any traumatic experience, though I have the most judgmental brain in the universe. And the biggest ego

@Deepaksingh-zx1ty

Жыл бұрын

Same here. How you doing now?

@YAXHY

Жыл бұрын

You guys should maybe consider semantic release… its a bit of a weird tactic, hear me out. I started growing shrooms and taking them because it made me view the world in a more stress free manner, but one night i took them and just got insanely depressed, all of my fears i had went in to my head as if they had happened or came true. For 2 weeks i woke up depressed, just crying and couldn’t do nothing about it. But in that time, all the trauma i’ve experienced and most importantly all the miniscule things that i did wrong, but didnt think much of it, rose to the surface and made me aware of them. I had to endure the pain that wasnt there when it happened, but left a small scar inside. Only when i’d felt the feelings that needed to be felt, was I free of that burden. My relationship with my father is like never before, we’re finally friends, I could tell him I love him, where before it would be hard and uncomfortable, i realised which day to day actions made me slowly but surely miserable, i am aware when i would normally ignore my problems and try to hide them with comfort… i’m still a judgemental person but that comes from within me, as i have 0 self love, I despise myself and surely i act like that to others. So the main point, maybe the solution isnt only the mushrooms i took, but to find your wrongdoings on a tiny scale- there doesn’t need to be some traumatic experience to change you, but just many careless small things you do in your life, that made you as you are now, and you don’t think much about them, no matter how insignificant they seem, because you just repress them instantly. If you run away from feelings, you’re gonna get them 10x back when time passes. Be strong and fair to others, family, yourself and even people you don’t like. It doesn’t matter what they did to you, because if you let yourself go and act upon instinct, you’ll turn in to a sour person, trapped in your own dark thoughts. Sorry for the long post, but this information seems important to me as it has helped me to be a better man, i just need to accept myself where i am now, so i dont spread my negativity to others. Thats it have a nice day!

@Octavio12341000

11 ай бұрын

​@YAXHY I'm also taking microdose psilocybin. It's a wonderful tool for consciousness. Happy for you my friend

@jojo-dv3uy

9 ай бұрын

gosh i judge too much and i can't be friends with anyone anymore...i start judging people after being with them for more dn 1 month i start judging people.😂 wtf and here i am searching "why i can't be nice to people 😂"

@amintazi5904

8 ай бұрын

​@@jojo-dv3uybelieve me it has nothing to do with niceness, being too nice is counter productive in that matter bcz you'd have the delusion that you deserve to be treated better bcz you're nice while the world just doesn't work like that, it much much better to be neutral, and sometimes selfish putting your needs first so BE NEUTRAL PLEASE and realize that people are NEUTRAL TOO so there is no need to judge anyone including ourselves

I am grateful for this talk. I will start asking that question. I struggle with self-judgment for years. That critical voice in me also affected how I see others. I had been silently judging people for their actions on social media. But now, I know better. "WHAT HAPPENED TO THEM?" is the question I'll start asking right now.

I grew up with a schizophrenic mother and it made me very tired, depressed, nervous, secretive, and socially awkward as a child. Some of my teachers judged me because they thought I was lazy.

@DBLuvPack

10 ай бұрын

❤

@amandarosehargreaves884

8 ай бұрын

I’m similar! I grew up with a bipolar mother which made me anxious, unsure of myself, depressed but very perfectionistic :(

Very powerful message

Thank you

thank you for making me understand

I’ve come to the conclusion… if it has nothing to do with directly… I give it no thought. I don’t want to understand what happened to someone or try to figure out their past… truly it doesn’t matter. People are going to do what they want regardless of what you say… so don’t speak on anything until your opinion is asked and even then keep it short and concise.

Beautiful thank you for sharing

A great talk from one of my favorite people to follow on FB and Insta! So happy that I was able to view this!

@lisamateotv2281

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you!

@lisamateotv2281

2 жыл бұрын

thank you!

I came from judgemental family. Both parents are so judgemental. I am becoming them . I see my daughters are so struggling with my judgements . I wanna change..... I wanna apologize

Good for her 🙏

There is so much asmr in this video if you listen closely.

Wow! Courage (Y)

judging is okay. Sticking labels on things help you manage things more easily

@jeromecabral192

9 күн бұрын

I never judge

👍 شكراً جزيلاً من ال🇸🇦 🙏💙🙏💙🙏💙

Hey Lisa, do you have a website I can checkout?

❤️❤️🥺❤️👍

Needed this because I called my wife a drunk many times because she doesn't stop drinking she over drink and Idk how to handle it

@yittynotsgnivil5120

9 ай бұрын

Firstly ask her if anything is wrong and then maybe get some outside help? She might be struggling with something and needing alcohol to help her get through it

I had trouble following her. What did her experiences in school teach her about not judging? That seemed to come out of nowhere before she went back to the subject in the title. Also I wonder about the character of anyone who can't feel love for their family and who neglects their own children. I hope she was truly capable of changing because that is a major character flaw to be able to change. Major respect to anyone who can actually change in that way but I for one need evidence first.

@andreeac9410

9 ай бұрын

She linked her trauma to the fact that this made her judge people oj the long term. When we experience trauma, abuse all that we begin to judge others and ourselves. And the answer to this is the question she proposed at the beginning and at the end of the video “what happened to them”. To try to change the script in your mind and try to forgive the people who did wrong to you… so that you can create a better life for yourself… not staying stuck in past. So forgiveness

Hi

😔💌 I stopped video at minute marker [4:54] Are they envious of the people because GOD has showered them with His blessings? We have given Abraham's family the scripture, and wisdom; we granted them a great authority.

Your thoughts were stolen, im sure of it. Our phone mics are on 24/7 and monitored... Any ideas we little people have are stolen within weeks of the first time we spoke them in the presence of a cell phone... I have created phrases to replace overused phrases of the past, and 2 weeks to a month later im hearing KZread influencers and sitcoms using them!

@lisamateotv2281

2 жыл бұрын

you never know:) but the more people that can spread this message, the better!

Came here to try and stop being so judgemental, but I ended up just judging the heavy breathing into the mic.

william L miskell

I would like to add something. what is missing in your talk is , this a vast issue, under the skin it is of multifarious types. Again, we can not generalize that if a child faces trauma in life, that happens. Sorry to say, that again you are forming your own thoughts. What about in some countries bullying is common phenomenon in high schools? What about when police men use their sponsored prostitutes to bully others , and coat them with typical words you are saying? There are hundreds of reasons. So, when you are talking about one issue, only those who have some childhood proble, mention that. Do not gereralize that to all. Tell me, while there are many people who are competent enough, good speakers, then how do you got a chance to speak on TED platform?

@boydbluehat5736

2 жыл бұрын

Your ‘What about’-questions are typical whataboutisms, questions that are about other or similar subjects you think she should have addressed. But she didn’t. So you are not criticizing the content of the speech itself, but on what’s missing. Well, there are a lot of subjects missing. But hey, the talk lasts abt 8 minutes, long enough to let her talk about her situation, her thoughts and so on, too short for all of the problems she should have talked about. Whataboutism is a ‘Tu quoque fallacy’, leading to an Ad Hominem (a personal attack in order to cancel and critize the person on what he/she is said / wrote). I guess you’d look it up. You might learn something.

@boydbluehat5736

2 жыл бұрын

I just thought how ironic your reaction is because your comment actually is judgmental as can be, while the subject of the talk is about people in her life (and as a result she, herself about herself) being judgmental. So I guess you’d might see it again. And take notes.

@lisamateotv2281

2 жыл бұрын

there s only so much we can cover un under 15 minutes. The TED platform is a difficult application process. I was not accepted the first time around. It took not giving up and believing that this message needed to be heard. I'm honored to have been given the chance to speak. Thank you for your comment.

Thank you