People who suffer from perfectionism often stress themselves out when there is no reason to be stressed out.

@juliakristinamah

5 жыл бұрын

It's true, there is often no reason to stress. But I don't think people suffer from perfectionism - it's not an ailment, it's a mindset rooted in anxiety that comes from trying to avoid discomfort.

@soupnazi3972

4 жыл бұрын

Tell me about it. Perfectionism is destroying my life

@mandolinJo

4 жыл бұрын

@@juliakristinamah What if ????? I must trust GOD 100% and overcome my what ifs >>>>>>>

@mazklassa9338

3 жыл бұрын

@@juliakristinamah how or where can we place the source/origin of that discomfort?

@mazklassa9338

3 жыл бұрын

@@soupnazi3972 mine too. And if anyone were to look or evaluate what I actually have, it in no way even resembles anything looking near to perfect. That's the irony. It's not like I've done anything to improve myself, because my perfectionism has STOPPED me from even risking to fail.

The "what if" asking is so destructive...! It basically stops any positive vibes right in their tracks.

@juliakristinamah

5 жыл бұрын

Yes! It can definitely bring us out of the present and trigger a bunch of unnecessary worry.

@alberttaylor9723

3 жыл бұрын

Yessssss, I do it all the time and it feels awful

@marymaher4036

3 жыл бұрын

Fears and worries, along with "self doubt" are real threats to our minds.The fear of abandonment.

"You have a 100% success rate of getting through tough stuff" is the name of the book you're going to write. You need to somehow get "discovered" as the fantastic motivating speaker you are.

@juliakristinamah

5 жыл бұрын

honey owen, you are so sweet and just made my day. I love that I get to do this and I'm so grateful to have people like you who show up for me - thank YOU!

@luzsandoval3937

4 жыл бұрын

honey owen I agree. She is awesome and has a great gift of speaking!

@nicoler7964

3 жыл бұрын

Trust me, you are excellent. I have stumbled upon your channel for a week now, and I wish I knew you before. You are saving my relationship with myself.

What if everything turns out great?

I do the "what if" game all day long, especially at work...ugh. It definitely holds me back. So much fear and overwhelm.

@BrittanySchank

5 жыл бұрын

You're not alone girl! Good job being aware of it!

@juliakristinamah

5 жыл бұрын

What are you afraid of Tammy? Is there a real threat?

@tammy19681

5 жыл бұрын

@@juliakristinamah Sometimes it's real, most times it is not. I am worried that people are going to yell at me lol. Lots of bullies. Or I am worried I am not going to do a good job. I'm usually killing myself trying to do a good job to avoid any potential consequences.(ie people yelling or questioning me)

@ElliotScottDating

5 жыл бұрын

I am a hypochondriac and I try to find ways to justify things not happening but the more I do, I can see that bc of what I have done logically in the past, the things I worry about could happen. people say to stop looking and justifying and while I do, the what if game kills me.

@ayylmaoabo9706

4 жыл бұрын

@@tammy19681 Wow you have the excact same as me

"The real threat is us." Very true.

Probably50% of my waking hours are spent wondering what if I had done something different or what if I do something wrong! Thank you so much!

My problem is thinking it through too much... Imagining the what if scenarios till it snowballs into full-fledged panic attacks. Coming from an emotionally abused childhood. Sometimes I feel too tired to pull myself out of a tailspin.

@jordanhaynes9728

2 жыл бұрын

hope ur ok xx

@susaville

2 жыл бұрын

@@jordanhaynes9728 hi. Thanks. Yes, doing much better.. I recently learned about the mbti types, and I found I am without a doubt an INFJ. Interestingly enough, that's what we do: overthink. It helps to understand myself better so I can work on it. All the best to you!

I'm going to start reminding myself that I have already survived the worst and an infact, 100 percent successful in my survival. Thank you!

@BrittanySchank

5 жыл бұрын

You got it!!! Good work! Self talk is so important!

@juliakristinamah

5 жыл бұрын

Yasss!! LOVE this.

OMG this is just what I needed. I am a chronic catastrophizer!!!! It is so scary to let myself really go down the "what if that DOES happen" path. I hae spent most of my life AVOIDING unpleasantness. I will have to watch this a few times.

@juliakristinamah

5 жыл бұрын

LIZ! I'm so glad it connected. My question to you is, what's the cost of doing whatever you can to avoid unpleasantness?

@FireSilver25

5 жыл бұрын

@@juliakristinamah I do not know as I have been doing it soooo long that I cannot imagine any other way. I think my toxic parents did the best they could, but they made me afraid of EVERYTHING!!!!! So many things I lost count. I feel like a newborn seeing everything for the first time.

@jordanhaynes9728

2 жыл бұрын

hope ur well x

Yes. I "what if" stuff all the time. Have for many years because I have had many traumatic experiences. Drives me crazy.

@juliakristinamah

5 жыл бұрын

What's one thing you can do to mitigate the impact of those What If's Super Tough?

I do “what if” daily and it is debilitating!

@juliakristinamah

5 жыл бұрын

Are you willing to try the strategy I mentioned in here?

Catastrophic thinking is a huge part of my experience with anxiety. I have to be very careful with this or I can end up in a full blown panic attack. I have been the 'what if' girl my entire life. I've always thought it was because my Dad was a fearful person for his own reasons and projected his fears on me, so much so that I ended up being that kid who sat on the sidelines and watched for fear of bad things happening. I don't even have a drivers license because 'what if I crash?'. Ugh! I hear it, it doesn't seem rational, and yet it has controlled my life for years. Thank you JK, as always you give me that kick that makes me stop, think and make changes. I'm going to go study for my driver's test....NOW.

@natashamudford4011

5 жыл бұрын

You go get that driver's license, and that car, and go enjoy your freedom! Wear your seatbelt, though. I flipped a vehicle once, and walked away from it, praise God. In fact, I was mostly concerned that someone would come over the hill and hit my flipped vehicle (no one did, thank God). Actually, it was my boyfriend's vehicle, and I thought he would break up with me, but he just laughed about it. He took a picture of me standing on the hood of it, after it had been hauled off. Later, he taught me how to ride/drive a motorcycle. (I don't ride anymore, but it was fun back in the day!) Later, I did some skydiving, about 6 jumps. (I wasn't good at it, so I quit...) I would tell myself before each jump, "Lots of people have done this without dying!" My son and I were at an amusement park when he was just barely tall enough to ride most of the rides, but he was scared. I convinced him to ride one that he was afraid of, and he was all excited when it was over and wanted to ride it again. "Wait... you were afraid, but you did it anyway, and you enjoyed it... let's go ride everything else you are afraid of!" My logic worked, and his bravery even inspired some adults we encountered that day.

@sksbc3895

5 жыл бұрын

@@natashamudford4011 That's the key isn't it?... to challenge yourself to face your fears. Sometimes easier said than done lol I did mean what I wrote though, I'm finished making excuses and I'm going to study and get that license... some freedom would be nice ..and I'm about ready for a change! :)

@natashamudford4011

5 жыл бұрын

@@sksbc3895 I think we all are afraid of something. For instance, I am afraid of initiating certain conversations with certain people. I think it was Eleanor Roosevelt who said, "Do one thing every day that you are afraid of."

@juliakristinamah

5 жыл бұрын

I am standing in the front row cheering for you sks bc!! You've got this. You've totally got this.

@cliffkonkle3467

4 жыл бұрын

I can totally relate. I am 43 and don't have a driver's license because of fear.

as a person who has been through an extraordinary amount of tough times, for me it's definitely the fact that I have a 100% success rate at getting through them.

@juliakristinamah

5 жыл бұрын

YES you do.

This tendency has plagued me for years it makes it hard to tell the difference between what you know and what you imagine and just leaves you in a state of fear and crippling anxiety

@jordanhaynes9728

2 жыл бұрын

hope ur well xx

@madawageises2468

Жыл бұрын

You are stronger than you know. You are a conquerer

I'm doing so many what ifs right now as I'm undergoing tests in hospital, for all sorts of things. Bowel issues, chrons disease, petechaie are showing up everywhere on my body and random bruises too. Ive got a hideous rash developing as well that hasn't responded as of yet to treatment. I'm being tested for blood disorders like lymphoma/leukemia (although I've been told by drs there is a slim to none chance of that, I still can't get the "what ifs" out of my head). A whole mix of awful life changing things that are giving me so many what ifs. What if, what if, what if. Thank you for this video, and please if anyone is reading this and feels alone comment and I'm here for you. Noone is alone, no matter how much we feel it. I am going to dive into your channel deeper and hope to find more positive words that can help me through- I encourage everyone who reads this, no matter if its today, tomorrow or ten years from now, seek the positivity you need to help you through your trouble. The what ifs are the worst. I really want to be able to overcome them and i pray everyone who sees this comment can overcome their what ifs too.

I have a parent who does this nearly every single day. It's almost a "comfortable" place to be in a state of worry. Problem is that it is extremely stressful to me, and if I try and be rational, it creates more anxiety because I'm not taking the "issue" seriously - resulting in ugly and nasty behaviour toward me. It's a terrible, hurtful cycle for everyone involved, and there is no desire to overcome catastrophic thinking. So...boundaries.

@juliakristinamah

5 жыл бұрын

Yes, healthy boundaries in situations like this are essential.

@sarahjane9354

5 жыл бұрын

Do you have any tips for what boundaries you used? I'm in a similar situation and find it difficult to not let them affect me.

@TheMrsWarhol

5 жыл бұрын

Sarah Jane sure! For example, If my assistance is needed, I make clear that I am glad to help, but I will not participate in an argument. I make clear that I do not wish to hear, nor take part in, hateful discussions about my deceased parent (who was very kind, devoted and loving). I limit my time-vacations are short. If nasty, ugly behavior starts, I simply state that I am sorry for the apparent discomfort or unhappiness, but I do not wish to spend the time we have on this earth together arguing, so I am going to leave and we can talk later about nicer things-and then I leave, despite protestations. Just have a game plan for things that upset you, be matter-of-fact, and remain calm. It’s hard sometimes, but the effort is worth it. Good luck!

@sarahjane9354

5 жыл бұрын

@@TheMrsWarhol thank you so much for this!

"Give the fear a run for it's money." I love the strategy you explained there.

I needed this video. I never count my successes. I downplay everything I do. I don't allow myself to be proud of me.

@shariks7230

3 жыл бұрын

Story of my life bro😁

For me it gets so bad that sometimes I can't sleep, like right now. I get a simple tension headache and all of a sudden I'm like "what if something is seriously wrong" but really everything is fine.

For me, it’s like I make certain tasks that I have to do much worse than they actually are. I make them seem like a much bigger threat than they are, and I make it seem like I’ll never be able to accomplish it, and that if I don’t do it correctly I’m going to be affected for the rest of my life…that quote hit somewhere else

The SUCCESS INVENTORY. That puts things in perspective. Catastrophic thinking is a misuse of imagination. 'What if' = creative thinking, it stimulates curiosity. If "curiosity killed the cat"..so what? She's supposed to have 9 lives & can have another go. Most of what we think about doesn't happen. But it is hard get out of a negative spiral. Julia, your advice is helpful. Thank you.

@juliakristinamah

5 жыл бұрын

Thanks Deryck. Really glad it connected.

Catastrophe thoughts , prey and preditor , like the horse 🐎 some horses have call back have to gain trust . This is so awesome 👌teaching ❤

Hi Ms Julia I’m not new to you at all in fact I’ve watched your videos for awhile. I’ve had the most stress trying to figure out life and how I’m going to do “IT”. My brother sends me your videos to help which they do absolutely but something always comes up horribly. This video I’ve been able to day to myself stop making excuses. As far as I’m concerned a catastrophe is something happened not something created. Yet I somehow create catastrophe in my own life. I’ll continue to watch you and keep going girl because a video from you for most of us I’m sure makes the biggest difference. Oh my brothers name is Jason Draves btw

When experiencing a fear, what's the blessing in disguise? Loss can open the door to something better. Change can be the opportunity for a different perspective.

Yep, done the what if crap. Also listened to others doing the 'what if' crap too when I've mentioned doing something different with my life. Putting doubt, fear in to my mind. It can be hard to fight against it, especially when I have that tendency already.

This is me. I find myself brainstorming multiple possible solutions to potential work related problems all the time. My brain has become a warehouse of ideas to solve potential “what if” problems that may never exist.

I have this way of thinking and I think I get it from my mother. I'm finding out now well into my adulthood that it is becoming more detrimental to me than more helpful.

What if is a part of my every day thinking. I have got better at pushing through the worst of it by recognizing that they are just thoughts but when they are a firestorm in my mind they can just build up and up and freak me out so much. Getting into trouble because I have avoided doing something can be a real problem. Thank you Julia.

@juliakristinamah

5 жыл бұрын

Love this, and GOOD for you!

As someone with a bent towards over analyzing, I can easily project past negative experiences onto current people and circumstances. Thank you for reminding me to be present in the moment with optimism for the future.

Nice to meet you Julia. I've been fighting my stress for as long as I can remember, it's a living nightmare 😭

I’ve watched so many of you’re videos but never comment 🤦🏽‍♀️ but this video just spoke volumes to me 😭 I’m overwhelmed with emotions because my life has been paralyzed from fear of my thoughts that I can’t seem to stop or control at times..this was very informative because I sometimes start to think I’m alone and I’m actually losing my mind... yes I’m now seeking help & hopefully I can learn to trust the process 🙏🏾🙏🏾 thanks for sharing 👍🏽

@juliakristinamah

5 жыл бұрын

I am so grateful this one connected with you. You are NOT losing your mind. and you are NOT crazy. You have a habit of letting your mind run wild and haven't learned how to manage it - like many among us (because they don't teach that stuff in school), but you are on the right path. Sending hugs!

@TonyaA7

4 жыл бұрын

You actually can control your thoughts and choose on purpose to think good thoughts . God shows us how to overcome negative thoughts in his word. Now it is a process and does take time but it does work if you dont give up. God says renew our minds with his truth and cast all negative thoughts down. 99% of what if comes from the enemy. Another thing is learning not all thoughts that pop up are yours . Learning who you are in Christ and how to recognize the difference in thoughts helps . God says we have the mind of Christ Jesus if we are born again therefore all thoughts that dont line up in christ are not ours they either come from the enemy or the things of the world like tv ,people etc. You will make it through. God Bless you.

@jordanhaynes9728

2 жыл бұрын

hope ur well x

These are awesome suggestions, thank you!

What if is the main cause of a lot of my anxiety. I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder and became aware recently that my catastrophic thinking is what amplified my anxiety, enormously. The what ifs do not even make sense. I am glad that I am now aware

Ty for making this video.. needed it today

Love these ideas you are giving us!

I am constantly doing this.. wow.. I felt like I could never explain it before. This video made so much sense to me. Thank you

Julia. You're one of the greatest people alive. Thanks for all you do! Signing up!

Thank you very much. Your video has helped me so much.

It was a rough day today, I needed this. Thank you Julia.

I this happens to me regularly. Usually about work. Thank you , Julia for your videos! I have just recently discovered your videos and have been listening every morning. Thank you for what you are doing!!

Yea, what if is my biggest concern! All the questions you have mentioned! Thanks for the advice!

Thank you for this...❤️

This is so true it hurts.

Thank you very much for your advices

Yes, I have struggled with this since after high school during and after a severely abusive relationship (got out of that relationship) and it sucks especially being with an amazing man now

Love you videos Julia you help me out with a lot my problems. Thanks for sharing you knowledge with us. I also played the “What If” game with myself.

Dear Julia, I consider myself as a very future oriented person and I tend to be more focused on the future than on the present moment. Therefore, it sometimes happens that I have negative thoughts coming to my mind about future possibilities with the "what if" syndrome. So I genuinely thank you Julia for sharing us your precious advice especially one of them when you talked about "taking a success inventory". Indeed, if you remember that you've already managed tough situations successfully in the past, you can use them as examples allowing you to (at least) reduce your level of stress or anxiety and also showing that you are able to deal with other tough situations whether it's currently or in the future.

@juliakristinamah

5 жыл бұрын

THIS is it. You've got it.

I am tearing up. Thank you for being so real and open. I am sharing your channel with a few people who are struggling! You are helping me help others! Much Love..... xoxo

Julia! . ... I gonna fall in love the way you explained 'Catastrophic'. Thank you very very much... Seriously you are awesome.

thanks so much for this video god bless you❣

I'm in the process of accepting undesired outcomes, but now I am working on accepting them as lessons, fate or an inspiration to keep trying. I agree with you 100% Julia, when it comes to confidence, we are our own worst enemy. Change your train of thought and you can be more confident, and you will stop worrying and be a happier soul.

I am so grateful I found you Julia, Any and every video is me and always helps me, so thank you ❤

thank u so much for uploading this free video doc...i dont have money to see a doc and your video really helped me ....please keep doing the good work...best wishes doc.

Very good, Julia! Thank you! I shared this with several of my friends.

@juliakristinamah

5 жыл бұрын

So glad it connected Isabel - and thank you for sharing it! That means to world to me.

Julia gives such sound advice! Thanks.

@juliakristinamah

5 жыл бұрын

You are so kind Michael. Thanks for saying that.

This topic hits home in a big way. Catastrophic thinking has been like a rain cloud over my head for years. I'm always worried about getting fired at my new job despite only being there a few weeks. Constant Financial setbacks only intensifies my catastrophic thinking. Thank you for posting this video Julia

Awesome. Thank you

Guilty of the "what if" and the relationship what if scenario you said was spot on!

Thank you 🙏 I love your videos they will help me a lot GOD BLESS YOU

I found you at the end of my long life ..... you are like the seal on the deal. Thank you.... everyone needs a boost of confidence in this drama world

I cant stop worrying about whether or not I will be able to find a job after my stint as a stay at home father ends in several years. I also get anxious about how much traffic i will run into when going somewhere even as simple as the grocery store. Thank you for making these videos available.

Thank you for these videos Julia. I was catastrophizing about starting a new job right after college and this video stopped me from spiraling and giving into fear

This video speaks to me so much. I've spent most of my life playing the what if game. Even now it still plagues me in the back of my mind. At least now I can finally fight back. Thank you.

Thank you very helpful. I'm stuck in "What If" and am working on it..

Amen, Julia, saving this one!

@juliakristinamah

5 жыл бұрын

Yes!! So glad it connected Pamie.

Again.... ALWAYS wonderful.

@juliakristinamah

5 жыл бұрын

Thank you my friend!

Yes I do worry about the what if. Mostly what people might say that will cause emotional harm

Brilliant channel there's so many videos that are so helpful to me and I'm sure others have thought the exact same aswell 100% I'm delighted I found it thank you for uploading all the best to you and your family from Ireland 🇮🇪 😀

This is so helpful. I really needed this today :)

@juliakristinamah

5 жыл бұрын

Anna - so glad you're here and really grateful it connected. Thanks for taking the time to say so.

Bless your heart ❤️ I really appreciate you ❤️🙏

Thank you!

Another good video. Julia, following through in your mind after a castasophic thought seems the logical thing to do, particularly what you have in your power to remedy the situation.

@juliakristinamah

5 жыл бұрын

You got it! So grateful it connected Larry.

For some reason I stress when somebody mentions they are sick. My mind tells me that I’m going to get sick and that I need to get away from them. I live in Alaska and it seems everyone is sick, so I deal with this on a daily basis. Try to keep my mind busy so I don’t focus on it but seems to revert back to this negative thinking.

@juliakristinamah

5 жыл бұрын

What would happen if you got sick?

@michaelft5cross669

5 жыл бұрын

Probably would just be a common cold. I usually get over it but by then I have a bad migraine from stressing over it. Thank you,

@nareishatianna3425

3 жыл бұрын

I'm exactly like that

@beatsbypizzathug9794

3 жыл бұрын

Bro that sounds just like me. I hear that someone from somewhere has this or this type of sickness, I instantly get this sickness in my head.

Fear is self-defeating. "You get paralyzed into inaction". So good!

Love you julia...you rock!

@juliakristinamah

5 жыл бұрын

Donna! You are the best. So grateful to have you here!

You are a great professional!

@juliakristinamah

5 жыл бұрын

Thank you Isabel - that really means a lot.

Thank you

@juliakristinamah

5 жыл бұрын

So glad Val. Thanks for letting me know.

This is brilliant, thank you so much. I've suffered from this for 40 of my 50 years. I've tried so many things to stop needless catastrophic thinking from highjacking my mind, mostly without success. But, this short, concise video makes a ton of sense. And, more importantly, with actionable advice. I'll look in to your online courses. I'm so glad I stumbled upon your channel.

Thanks again for all the help you have given us. I think I have a degree in Catastrophic Thinking. Glad I got help and learned to challenge the What ifs. Thanks again

@juliakristinamah

5 жыл бұрын

lol - I think you are not alone Stevie! Glad you found it useful.

Excellent. It worked

Another fabulous video! I am a mental health therapist as well and it is so nice to hear you touch on topics that so many clients bring to sessions

@juliakristinamah

5 жыл бұрын

Brittany, so great to connect with you and have another psych junkie here ;-) What's your specialty and where are you from?

I’ve had so much therapy, still stuck , nothing helps , everything resonates

I hardly ever comment on KZread but this time I have to. Thank you for the advice. I need this yesterday.

I suffer a lot from these thoughts. Do not know since when but when I was younger I did not. I am an perfecionist but because I so often feel pressured my work is often not as good as I know it could be. I am my worst enemy 😩

I am going thru a situation where I’m on FMLA, I only have 2 weeks left and I’ve been working a little. However, I have been rolling around in my head over-and-over about not being able to go back full time. I’ve done the playing it thru thing, potentially no enough tho. Great video. Thank you Julia.

Yes! I'm going through this now with a new relationship. I haven't dated anyone in 18 years and then, BAM! It happens. But now I have "What if this happens?" and my anxiety, stress and fear become overwhelming. I'm so happy you did this video.

Thank you so so much. All my love

@juliakristinamah

5 жыл бұрын

Absolutely Minnie - and big love to you!

I need to heal the internal relationship with myself . Thank you for this video!

Thank you Julia! I love the idea of the "100% sucess rate", that's really simple, but very powerful! thank you, I'm swimming through some really tough stuff right now :(

@juliakristinamah

5 жыл бұрын

Sending you SO much love and peace and strength. You will get through this. It is temporary and you will get through it.

Hi Julia Your Videos Are Inspiring 🤩I Have Been Watching Them Just Recently . I m So Glad I "Found You "😍😍 I've Saved 3 Of Your Videos. I m SO Afraid Of "Rejection " I Do "What Ifs" Alot. 💖Thank You For Your Service and Time Your "Videos " Mean Alot 💖

"100% success rate" idea was really helpful.

LOL you just made me laugh lol... you described ME! In the beginning...

Thank you ❤

Ty for this

Thank you so much!

@juliakristinamah

5 жыл бұрын

Absolutely Jommy - thanks for being here!

My “what ifs” right now are centered around my mom’s advancing dementia. Some of the what ifs are necessary to push me forward in starting to make arrangements with a nursing facility, because it’s getting too hard for me to care for her at home, alone. What if I get sick? There’s no one else to care for her. What if she has a sudden dip in ability? I won’t be able to cope. But the scary “what ifs” are “What if the nurses and aides don’t care for her as well as I want them to?”. “What if the drastic change and stress of going to a nursing home accelerates her condition and I lose her even faster?”. I have dared to entertain “What if I’m waiting, but she and I would both be BETTER off if she has the expertise of a nursing facility to care for her?”. Thanks for all that you do.

Thank you.

This is amazingly not one of the many problems I have. I have just depressive thoughts of the future. Kind of the 'Eeyore' factor. I love finding a problem I don't have.

I have an awful habit of overthinking. I will take a thought and Build and build on it Until I have myself So worked up that I feel like im having a severe panic attack.