When you say yes to them you say no to yourself.

@fluffyx1676

4 жыл бұрын

And since you want to make yourself happy, and not the other one, you have to say no

@PussyDevourer69

Жыл бұрын

It depends. You're too narrow minded.

This is something I want to scream to the world. Saying no to others gives you the opportunity to grow, to have more time for yourself, and a better life. I will always tell the women I support that this is something they need to apply in their lives!

Me: "Um..I'll ask my mum first.'' *Didn't ask mum* Me: "She said no..."

@lolamills3314

5 жыл бұрын

thats literally me lmao

@anoran.7505

4 жыл бұрын

Me 😂

@HeatherGingerr

4 жыл бұрын

i’ll be like “ugh yeah she’s sooo annoying”

@doroteabatina6815

3 жыл бұрын

SAME

@Jazz-nd5ir

3 жыл бұрын

@@HeatherGingerr Hahah! I do that too! lol

I struggled with this for a while. I always say yes but secretly mean no. It took 30 years to teach myself this. Now, I think what is my end goal and the ultimate long term benefit of each yes or no.

@SharonStokesCoaching

6 жыл бұрын

Bloggin Brandi that’s a great way of looking at it!

@blacklyfe5543

11 ай бұрын

30 years? Waste of time

i dont feel guilty because if you say no you will actulley get respected

@ellianalinzenmeyer3888

7 жыл бұрын

True that but whenever I try to say no they beg me and beg me and beg me and if I still say no they get mad and start treating me horribly so u could say I'm being bullied into it I also feel really guilty whenever I say no I mean I can say no to my family but with my friends I just can't I ended up giving away something that took me forever to make so if anyone else know another good way to say no plz PLZ let me know

@goingaboutmyfathersbusines4359

6 жыл бұрын

Very true

@ancaaxinte5947

5 жыл бұрын

@@ellianalinzenmeyer3888 s

@MoneyForestAcademy

4 жыл бұрын

yes I love this comment! Saying no sets boundaries with people, especially at work. Try this: I love myself too much that I can't take the extra work that you dont want to do (ie. work pushed to you by your colleagues)

@madmax7423

4 жыл бұрын

Moe Lester true

Some people actively make you feel guilty for saying no to them. It feels horrible inside. You know how they're gunna make you feel if you say no in the future. You're conditioned to say yes...

@J3nnycat

Жыл бұрын

I’ve lived almost 40 years conditioned to say yes out of fear. Now I’m saying no, and the people I love most can’t deal with it. Some have walked right out of my life. It hurts. Especially when you know you’d always respect them saying no to you.

I look them in the eye and say "NO" lol

For me, it’s with family that I struggle saying no. My part always was the mediator, the one without her own voice, the one who caves to other’s emotions. I’ve found it especially hard to use this word and assert myself with family. It’s been a real eye opener though. It’s been met with guilt trips, manipulative tears, name calling, and people walking out of my life who I love with all my heart. Saying no is proving to be a very lonely scary road to travel. I question myself because I feel like standing my ground is selfish of me. I’m scared to lose more people I love by not being that quiet little girl I always was. I’ll be 40 next year, and I feel like I just have to keep on going, for me this time. What else can I do?

I am Only 11 but this might help me at school

@SharonStokesCoaching

6 жыл бұрын

Cory Valdez I love that you took the time to watch this and you feel it might help you at school!

@sleepingatthechemicalroman1172

5 жыл бұрын

Same but i'm 12 (fifth grade)

@alizayohana2474

4 жыл бұрын

I’m 14

@local_potato_market6517

4 жыл бұрын

Same a boy asked me to do something to him and this definitely helped

@Not_Founded495

4 жыл бұрын

Same

I searched for this topic and came across your video. This is exactly what I needed to hear! I’ve struggled with this for YEARS!! It’s always been a struggle to disappoint someone while I’m only disappointing myself just to say, “Yes” to everything to basically go along just to get along. I’ve decided to change this aspect of my life for ME!!!

Im here because im shy And there is this Girl in my school (she is in a wheelchair) And everyday she asks me to go buy her something,( she gives me the money to buy It to her but im getting so tired of It) And It just feels like she's using me because she knows i wont say no,but not anymore

Yes you're right; women are trained to "go along to get along" today I'm exhausted having said no to 3 people in different ways. Its still better than the odious feeling of "going along" ie giving the person confidence that it's okay to be hurtful and/or selfish...I understand. NO I'm an adult who can control my impulses and I expect the same. NO I DONT UNDERSTAND. Today I'm bummed but have accomplished somethong: boundaries.

@BlogginBrandi

6 жыл бұрын

Boundaries are the BEST!

I hate to let people down.. Even people who wouldn't do it for me i still feel bad .. I hate that i always give in Because i end up being taken advantage of and it sucks.. I've been let down so much in life i don't want other people to feel like I've felt and feel.. Its weird i know but just how i feel..

I've always had a hard time saying no in the past and still do sometimes. We gotta be honest with ourselves. Thank you for sharing. 💖💖

I said yes because of fear of how they would react. Finally stood up for myself and said no and everything crumbled after. My family took advantage of me and really had to listen to them spread lies about us.

Saying no makes me feel like I'm being selfish. I need help. Its got to the point that folks are starting to feel entitled about borrowing things like my car for example. People will ask if u work in the morning and then give me a sob story to why they need my car. Then say thank you as if I said yes already. I don't know how to stop this behavior

@BlogginBrandi

6 жыл бұрын

Think about long term if they wreck your car. Are they going to pay to replace? Are they going to take you to work? Or worse what if they injure someone else then YOU alone are liable. It is your car and your responsibility. Think more highly of yourself and what all you have worked for. Plus, look at your friends / family and say hmmm now why don't they have a car of their own? Those are probably great reasons to say no. Be confident and put you first!

Personally I think it’s harder with family members. Especially the sulkers. It’s not so much a fear of saying no but a dread of the reaction.

Now a days saying 'NO' means loosing your job. So try to say I will try do it.

@BlogginBrandi

6 жыл бұрын

I had a job that I knew saying yes could cost me my licenses to practice, but was suppose to do as I was asked. I finally quit because I knew at the end of the day it was my word against theirs and they would save themselves. No amount of money was worth it.

@abe6495

6 жыл бұрын

I think this pertains to personal situations, not work related situation. Saying No to your boss, is not the same as saying No to someone you have a personal relationship with, or family member.

@MoneyForestAcademy

4 жыл бұрын

Not really. You can always do this in a polite manner and establish your boundaries. If you don't say no, you might burnout faster which may lead to you losing your job (indirectly)

@VashtiPerry

3 жыл бұрын

Makes no sense

@aneespasha007

3 жыл бұрын

@@VashtiPerry it make sense, just try say no couple of times and see results.

thank you for this

Don’t say no, say lighter words like nah, I’m good, imma pass, or something like that. Especially when talking about deals, friends, keep it cool.

@user-ir7op7vw3v

4 жыл бұрын

Facts. That NO come off strong as hell

@mandycarter1

2 жыл бұрын

And when those softer words are making no impact, don’t feel bad about saying a strong ‘no’.

@danielgoebel5525

2 жыл бұрын

Disagree if you don't feel guilty abouts just say no plus if you are in a good mood then why should you change tho it's the same meaning [no=nope]

Very well said. You really opened up my eyes and mind about this topic. Thank you!!!👌🏽

I was always made to feel guilty from my parents, so I struggled with this later on in life....but now I don't feel guilty in saying no, it's taken me a long time as I was brought up to be a people's pleaser....that sucks...

first of all you are very beautiful and trust me you spoke 80% of my mind, the fears i had to say someone "no". you explained it very beautifully. thank you and lots of love and wishes from India.

My chef in the restaurant asked me to do a job which is not mine and said NO , it's not my job ,and I was fired the next day . I feel good between :)

Well said in less than 4 minutes :)

@SharonStokesCoaching

6 жыл бұрын

Malvika Kamat thank you so much!

Thanks, short and to the point.

I did something really scary and I needed this thank u so much plz come back and upload more love u

I been on this earth for a quite long time, and I could count on just one hand how many times people actually wanted to be around me for simply being just me-If you're not deemed as attractive or if people can't use you to their benefit, then you might as well forget about people wanted to interact with you on a friendly level- I don't trust any single human being on this planet- I try to see the good in people, but people fail you every time and that's includes your own damn family. But you learn from experiences.

Oh your words are great and super useful. Thanks a lot.

Such a great video! I'll likely watch it several times :) lots of important ideas you shared. Thank you!

@MoneyForestAcademy

4 жыл бұрын

yes we share the same sentiments. The best part of this video is, we're truly afraid of ourselves in our world because we're afraid of being viewed as something "negative" when it's all in the mind.

keep going i need this kind of inspiration thank you that helped me so much

@SharonStokesCoaching

7 жыл бұрын

I'm so glad it helped! Have you had a chance to check out any of the other videos? Hope they're also able to help!

This was so powerful and such an eye opener! Thank you!

@SharonStokesCoaching

6 жыл бұрын

xx라니아 thank you 💖

Great video. I need more of this! Thank you Sharon!!!

@SharonStokesCoaching

7 жыл бұрын

Thank you! I'm so glad you enjoyed it!

Thankyou,it made me clear now!

this video really helped me, thank u !!!

Nice tips and contents! Thank you. keep up the good work

Hi Sharon, thank you so much for taking the time to make this video, incredibly helpful points! :) "What am I afraid of?" "Is me saying no doing something wrong?"

hey Sharon...i like your video,i am also working on saying NO,and to be honest,it saves my precious time a lot...u have so much confidence.u are looking beautiful...keep it up...👍

Doing it for you,leaves them open to call you selfish.

Hi Sharon👋, this is such a interesting topic, and by the way it’s something that I have been dealing with for a long time, specially when it comes to dealing with family members I like your view I like the way you express yourself.👌👍

Gah... You're gorgeous, Sharon! And thank you for the advice. I'm down $400 in this past week alone. I found out a few of my "friends" were just using me and I'm furious right now... Seeing that smile helps a little.

Im glad I found this

Thank you. I'm learning how to say 'no'.

My problem with saying no is that if the tables were turned, I’d want the other person to say yes to me. The thing is though, I’d never ask in the first place

I can’t say no to people when they ask me if they can borrow pens, pencils ect. it’s so frustrating when I get the stuff back broken or not at all..

@ventrum5552

3 жыл бұрын

If you give don’t expect anything in return

Thank you very much for this information :)

no suggestion of the diplomatic way to do it

people ask to go on my scooter at the skatepark and I say no but they always go please please and I don't know how to deal with that

That helped thanks

i'm getting better at saying no to a colleague. he has a pattern of sending complicated problems my way. i helped him for almost a decade. yeah, that's how much i valued myself. he's been the same job grade as me for the last 5 years and this year, i stopped helping him. I came up with back up response if my boss asked why i am not being a team player. 1. i have a ton of workload because so and so is off 2. i couldn't find the time to spare for him and i forgot towards the end of the day. I'll work on getting better at helping him. 3. worst to worst case scenario, why can't he solve these issues on his own when we are on the same job level. how can we train him to be self-reliant?

I needef this video...thank you...

I said no to a girl and she stopped being my friend and I said WTF I DONT CARE LOL!!!

@calistavicente-bradley4739

5 жыл бұрын

I would awkwardly pass her in the halls and avoid her and feel scared shell tell her friends and they won't like me anymore

This video was very helpful. You have a beautiful hair. Thank you.

@SharonStokesCoaching

6 жыл бұрын

Lais Cordiolli thank you so much! I’m so glad you found it helpful!

What if they threaten you if you say no? What if they do something to you out of spite if you say no? What if you’re dealing with a narcissist who has power over you?

@blacklyfe5543

11 ай бұрын

Than teach them a lesson

Bit late but I always say yes at first and then end up saying no a few days before it happens. It makes me feel bad and especially because my friend who I will say no to always gets a little mad and like doesnt accept the fact that I don't wanna go..

Thank you your video is helping me a lot peace and love from Paris France

I agree

*Blessings to you.* 🎤🎤

Amazing video with great tips

WOW... Lovely! Sharon you are AWESOME!

@SharonStokesCoaching

6 жыл бұрын

S.M.Reza Dibaj thank you so much!!!

Thanks so much

I had a former friend that used to ask for favors & ask for rides from church all the time. Eventually I had to set boundaries with her & say no. Anyhow she had a sour attitude because I said No. Good Riddance

Lady you got a New subscriber thanks you very much and please can you turn the volume of the music in the intro and ending down my ears are bleeding

I just subscribed to your Channel today and I have watched only three videos so far but I really like what you have to say. I noticed that the last video you uploaded was 6 months ago and was wondering if you stopped doing videos or if you are just taking a break for a little while?

My problem with saying no is not related not to do a task. I have no hard time to say no to such thing. But I can't say no to my friends whether we are so close or not when it comes to sharing my personal information. I don't mean vulnerable information that you wouldn't want to share but the information I don't want to share. Things that aren't secret but I don't want to talk about. You can't avoid a question in the middle of the conversation because I feel like it's rude and antisocial, but it makes me feel bad to share it. I'm not sure how to deal with it.

You are godess.. thank you for helping

Correct

I needed this because I can’t say no people asking me for money I just can’t say no to them i watched this because I need to stop being bills are getting higher and stuff and I need to Keep money for my self and friends mistreat me and stuff and they ask can I borrow this and that I can’t say no.

What if I have said no but it is my dad or mom that get mad about it? I'm in my 20's I don't have to say yes but if I say no I'm made to feel like I'm doing something wrong.

Small steps lead to really Big results

I've lost people & people have left. It's hard to say no and people leave because of it. It feels like I'm the problem, like I'm unreasonable. I've been called overbearing. But then when I constantly say yes, I become a pushover. I can't find the in-between.

I live with my cousins boyfriend,he thinks he's my dad apparently. He wants me to workout with him every day. I do that on my own every single day. Yesterday,he got on to me about a sock in the vacuum cleaner. (Which he did and doesn't remember). I'm so sick of it. But thank you for this video! It's going to help me a lot.

My problem is is when I say no they still tried to talk me out of that they won't take me serious when I say no I mean no and when I say yes I mean yes and I believe anything else is evil

I think no means no and there shouldn't be any second guessing our own decisions. If I say no, I should mean it and believe that's why I said it. The other person may try to make me second guess myself but I have decided to say no so that's what I meant

thank-you! :) m.

I’m 27 and I always help my relatives and it always involves money when they need help or borrowing $ and I never get it back 🤦🏾‍♀️ or I tell them it’s okay for get about it wtf!!

@kosselamm5077

3 жыл бұрын

I'm the same. It's actually kind and very precious. But you do what your heart desires

NO without pleasing

IKR...My best friend and i share a lot of things...clothes...books...dvds...bags...accessories...I usually dont mind about those things...recently i adopted a 6 months old rescue kitten. She is skittish around people except me...she got comfortable around me for some reason...My Best friend loves animals...so she came over to play with the kitten and then said she had a day off the next day and wanted to "Borrow the kitten for a day" I have never heard anyone ask someone if they could borrow their pet...its odd right? I said no. I guess its the first time i said no to her when she asked me something. And she looked so shocked but she accepted it and left. But i am feeling so guilty now. But my reasons were simple...the kitten is not comfortable around other people yet...she is not friendly. I earned her trust...i was afraid it would break the trust if i handed her over to someone she doesnt know and especially if that some one takes her to a strange new place. A kitten is not an object. I am feeling so guilty. Was i right in my decision or was i unconsciously being possessive? I cant tell. Believe me i have asked myself a zillion times. What do you think?

@samyhady2000

6 жыл бұрын

Sneha Nair if u allow me to answer and from what she said let's stop feeling guilty U have your reasons, u r convinced with it. That's it I think u have done the right thing. I wish I can do the same one day

I’m just going to say no here for practice. Definite weakness of mine.

Thank you. It would have been nice if this advice had been around 50 years ago.

What do I do if I automatically say "yes" before even thinking if to say yes or no?

@BlogginBrandi

6 жыл бұрын

Depends on the situation. But, what if someone asked you to Rob a bank then you thought about it and said I have more to loose than them. I don't want to do it anymore. Would you then still go and just agree to be the get away driver or say no I AM MORE IMPORTANT than you (MY health, safety, life, job, family etc... is more important to me than it is to you so there for I am choosing me) Think long term what is the benefit or goal. It is easier to say no. Blame it on yourself I do it all the time. I make everything my fault and never look back.

@jowyschwarz313

2 жыл бұрын

If that so,Its mean that is trauma reponse..i often do that too .but in progress to free myself

Please fix the audio level for future videos. It is way too loud especially when wearing headphones.

This girl always asks for my phone cuz I have a iPhone and she has and android and I always say yea but I’m scared to say no or else she’ll get mad and call me stuff

Well my parents are very strict and barely let me hangout with my friends. So it sucks when i cant hangout with my friends because my parents and it really ruins me. I really have no choice and I always feel like its my fault when I cant hangout.

@natemorgan1996

Жыл бұрын

Hi I know we don't know each other personally but I'm sorry that you have to deal with that shit

I’m sick of being a people pleaser! I help someone out out of the blue without them asking(20 and a pack of smokes yesterday)and then you get can I borrow $100, “fine “ oh can I borrow $5 “ugh don’t want to but fine” can I borrow another 10? Ugh! A guy I know legit did that last night and continued today! It’s for a good reason I’ll keep remembering tho but still! All I attract are people on assistance that are out of money for the month! 🙄

I work for GoodWill as a donation attendant hard time saying no to what the people are donating a lot of times it's just the elderly that have lost their loved one trying to donate stuff they don't need anymore so they can get on with their lives or take take to much donations that ends up going to the trash ..there is a list on the internet on idems Goodwill I am supposed to tell people No we are unable to expect these idems been working with Good will for some 3 years telling people no just most job stress mainly feel I am putting the diners down by saying no but at the same time my boss doesn't want me excepting idems that just get thrown away or clothes or idems that have a bad order.still feeling bad when tell these doners no

An sales girl wants me to pay her and enroll a course in which I don't want to do but her project amd presentation was really nice. So, how I refuse her?

My mother is sick but she is using my free time like hers. Wish if I was in another state here.

How to say no. Say no.

@BlogginBrandi

6 жыл бұрын

I wish it was that easy. Especially when you are growing up you don't always understand saying yes now means yes to more later. Or that trying to say no later would be harder.

@Curlyheart

2 жыл бұрын

Winter melon I'm just scared to say no because I'm afraid they'll hit me or something

👏👏

2018!?!?!

id always say yes to you 😍

Cool

Nice Video Mam #KeepSharingHappiness

great video

@SharonStokesCoaching

7 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much!

In theory, people do know whatever you have mentioned in the video... It's not that they don't know it...But despite that people struggle to say "No"...So it would be more helpful if you could specific tips on how to say "No", by giving some examples

The intro song is too loud

Ugh when I say no I get a fricking guilt trip and a day of moaning...

Make more of these videos. I also recently shot a video on the same topic, you can watch! I will be glad to everyone!

My teacher offer me to join in a competition to represent for our school but my mental health is not ready, we have alot of school works to get done but how can I say no to her?😢

@PhillipFilian109

3 жыл бұрын

I said to her im not sure but she already registered my name to the list without my permission!