How to QUICKLY Get Over a Breakup - TWR Podcast #67

The end of a relationship can feel like the end of the world. Heartbreak is extremely painful and the first instinct is to try and remove that pain by any means. However, during this sensitive period, it's important to be mindful of your decisions as you heal and to help out, Pye and Dr. Glen provide some great tips for healthily processing the heartache and moving on from a relationship.
0:00 Introduction
2:08 Treat it like you're breaking a drug addiction
5:40 Detox/no contact for 30 days
12:53 Remove any reminders
16:37 Go back to the basics of good health
20:28 Rule of 3 or the Big 1
26:06 Closure does not involve the other person
34:43 Be dialectical
40:30 Outro
-
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Connect with Pye and Dr Hong:
➜ Pye Jirsa: / pyejirsa
➜ Dr. Glen Hong: / therealdrh

Пікірлер: 700

  • @user-uk8pl2fh4c
    @user-uk8pl2fh4c18 күн бұрын

    Never in my life thought I will type this in search bar

  • @user-yu3rm8sm6t

    @user-yu3rm8sm6t

    8 күн бұрын

    Same😢

  • @NANCYMUTWOKI

    @NANCYMUTWOKI

    7 күн бұрын

    Same

  • @malecpepito

    @malecpepito

    3 күн бұрын

    same

  • @gubydalrof1

    @gubydalrof1

    3 күн бұрын

    Same

  • @seriesofjustbeing

    @seriesofjustbeing

    2 күн бұрын

    Sending hugs! ❤

  • @sabrinaliu66
    @sabrinaliu668 ай бұрын

    i was doing all the wrong things the first week, then calmed down and realised how stupid i was, i am not going to give him the power to make myself miserable, he doesn't deserve my love and energy anymore.

  • @denilsonkariuki
    @denilsonkariuki6 ай бұрын

    Its been 2 months, im feeling better. I tried to reconcile but it never worked!. I deleted her contact and avoid any stalking. Time will heal me wish all you guys a quick recovery.

  • @veroh55

    @veroh55

    6 ай бұрын

    Same here,I'm on my day 3,starting today my 30days..hopefully to heal soon😊

  • @aldionvanhouten3480

    @aldionvanhouten3480

    4 ай бұрын

    Man, it's been about a month for me. It is so hard to let her go because she was there when my father passed away and then a month after that she broke up with me. I know I wasn't perfect in that relationship, but I tried. There was some things I did that was not good, but I tried my best to make her as comfortable as possible. I tried to reconcile because I was having such major separation anxiety with two of my most important people in my life leaving. But every time I reach out to her it just ends up getting worse and making each other sad because neither of us wants to blame each other for ruining the relationship. I feel like it's my fault for ruining things with always trying to push the boundaries with her, and she thinks she ruined a good relationship because she was not ready for a relationship. Neither of us want to blame one another. Then the last time I talked to her she got mad and I'm pretty sure she hates me now because of what I said that was probably needed some further explanation. But I think that trying to explain myself is only gonna make it even worse because I don't think neither of us understand each other's view point. It's so hard, and I don't want to leave things in a bad note, but I think that if I contact her one more time the damage will be even greater, so I'm just gonna leave it there. I think it's better that she views me as the bad guy instead of having her blaming herself.

  • @NguyenNguyen-oq4rx

    @NguyenNguyen-oq4rx

    2 ай бұрын

    @@veroh55how are you feeling now? Knowing that you may never see she/he again in your life?

  • @veroh55

    @veroh55

    2 ай бұрын

    @@NguyenNguyen-oq4rx I healed and already in another relationship

  • @beenagairola8745

    @beenagairola8745

    2 ай бұрын

    How are you doing?

  • @caseface999
    @caseface99928 күн бұрын

    Choosing myself was the hardest thing I’ve had to do

  • @Swanselm

    @Swanselm

    14 күн бұрын

    Are you sure you didn’t give up?

  • @caseface999

    @caseface999

    14 күн бұрын

    @@Swanselm I know that I didn’t ♥️♥️

  • @roelienvanzyl534
    @roelienvanzyl5342 ай бұрын

    The rejection part is the worse...It distroys our self-esteem on such a huge level!

  • @609STAACKS

    @609STAACKS

    2 ай бұрын

    Faaax I been with this girl for 9 years she came back but I wasn't ready the. When I was ready she was dealing with somebody and they vibes was not the same

  • @609STAACKS

    @609STAACKS

    2 ай бұрын

    I think that's what bothered me the most realizing she no longer wants me in the way she use to and the fact that she is looking at somebody else in the way she use to look at me

  • @michelleamaya8540

    @michelleamaya8540

    Ай бұрын

    😢yes going through this it hurts so bad

  • @michaelhill2933

    @michaelhill2933

    Ай бұрын

    You gotta build your worth from the inside and it won't hurt as bad. Don't ever lower your worth off of someone else's rejection. I know it's hard but keep trying. U only let em hurt your self esteem if you need them. Don't ever need someone, want them in your life, but know you'll be ok if it doesn't work out

  • @jahrooof

    @jahrooof

    Ай бұрын

    Yes. I’m going through this same thing.

  • @mercyonuigbo9828
    @mercyonuigbo98288 ай бұрын

    I’m hurting and this really helped me Thank you Starting my 30 days “ why are you chasing someone that doesn’t want you”

  • @12weekrelationships

    @12weekrelationships

    8 ай бұрын

    100%. Thank you for being here!

  • @ZhivkoKabaivanov

    @ZhivkoKabaivanov

    8 ай бұрын

    In my case that person wanted to be with me but I was too stubborn. Which resulted to the breakup.

  • @cjp5690

    @cjp5690

    7 ай бұрын

    Man……😢exactly

  • @jessieshey7950

    @jessieshey7950

    7 ай бұрын

    It’s been since June for me I swear I died and came back that’s how bad the heartbreak was and we’ll it’s better now the Lord has been my guide. I got ghosted and gave soooo much 💔💔💔💔💔

  • @calamitycarl

    @calamitycarl

    7 ай бұрын

    i get this point. But I can't move on, because she did want me, just something went wrong. Yes, now she doesn;t want me, but she did really like me, before i messed up, and thats why i can't forgive myself

  • @dgutierrez104
    @dgutierrez104Ай бұрын

    Day #2 in my breakup. Its hard. The worst part is the sleepless nights

  • @bissyloo
    @bissyloo8 ай бұрын

    i let someone i trusted convice me i let someone i loved use me it caused me to feel worthless under-valued embarrassed ashamed than eventually ghosted i was there when he needed help i was there when he needed comfort i was there when he needed to end it so many times but i kept resisting it i was there living in a fantasy relationship thinking he was my one but itʻs all getting clearer now we were not meant to be together i can finally forgive myself i can finally let go i can finally move on i can finally b someone better …

  • @lynnewint3112

    @lynnewint3112

    2 ай бұрын

    I'm sure you can, you don't need someone who doesn't see your value cuz I'm pretty sure someone would be thankful to have you around. It's his lost and not yours so better cheer up. Someone made me an option as well without me knowing about it so I'm like if that's the case let those people have you cuz I can have someone who would see me and love me the same way I do or maybe more

  • @user-nj2ko1rq2d

    @user-nj2ko1rq2d

    Ай бұрын

    Sounds just like what I went through.

  • @Divalevel

    @Divalevel

    18 күн бұрын

    8 year fantasy relationship for me. He just up and ended 5 days ago bc he found a new interest. When I read ur comment it was like u were writing about my experience. The only thing is I haven't forgiven myself yet. I think that is the hardest part. I was a good, faithful, loyal woman to him something I thought men wanted. I will still be those things bc that's who I am. I guess like u said we were just not meant to be. I'm hurting so so bad. I feel totally betrayed. I hope I make it through. Tfs

  • @matthewstanley893

    @matthewstanley893

    Күн бұрын

    Thank you for sharing, I hope that things are still looking up for you. I see it’s been a couple months since you posted this. Your words are eerily, familiar, replace he with she. I’m four months into my wife, asking for a divorce after 20 years. The embarrassment is so heavy. I also feel ashamed of myself for being so blind and naïve for so long but more than anything it’s the embarrassment that I was genuinely pouring love into someone and something that was never actually there. Its caused me to isolate from friends and family. I’m ashamed to talk about my marriage, because when I do, it becomes painfully clear that I just accepted a long time ago an incredibly low self-worth and convinced myself that I was only good enough to be treated so shitty. No self-respect. Sorry for the long reply, I have a hard time talking to anyone, and this is kind of therapeutic. Again, I hope you’re doing better. ❤

  • @KimK_AllDay
    @KimK_AllDay3 ай бұрын

    The break-up was so disrespectful, childish, and crazy. After the argument, I blocked him, and now, a week later, he's either blocked me or is ignoring my message. We've been together for about 13 years and have more good times than bad. I really do feel it's time to move on. My emotional needs are not met while he's constantly asking for sex and acts like a maniac whenever he thinks I'm holding back. But he struggles to buy me flowers or cards and is infamous for saying what he's going to do and never delivers. I'll be glad when I'm over this non-reciprocal situationship😢😭

  • @user-lw6du1zx5e

    @user-lw6du1zx5e

    Ай бұрын

    Same

  • @hiraknath6559

    @hiraknath6559

    27 күн бұрын

    My relationship for 14 years is also now on the verge of ending.. I am really depressed. But seeing your comment, makes me feel I am not alone. How are you now, friend?

  • @maryconte7140

    @maryconte7140

    13 күн бұрын

    ​@@user-lw6du1zx5eSame here, 4 years, he ended it over the phone and sent my things to me via UPS. Very cold and immature.

  • @lilioshka
    @lilioshka9 ай бұрын

    These two gentlemen have such soothing voices, it was a pleasure to hear them.

  • @AntwhaleNearfar

    @AntwhaleNearfar

    9 ай бұрын

    Unintentional ASMR.

  • @Oscar_239

    @Oscar_239

    8 ай бұрын

    Yes puts my mind at ease

  • @Ponnybit

    @Ponnybit

    7 ай бұрын

    nice eq ;)

  • @DavidFelix-zo1gr

    @DavidFelix-zo1gr

    7 ай бұрын

    Very well

  • @KimK_AllDay

    @KimK_AllDay

    3 ай бұрын

    Yessss... very calming, too. I'm glad I found this channel.

  • @missfitphamous
    @missfitphamous7 ай бұрын

    I did the 75 day challenge to break free because its very addictive when you have been talking to someone every day for years

  • @nicolameikle8737
    @nicolameikle87379 ай бұрын

    This video has broken my heart 💔 It’s opened up my awareness of the addiction I have to my ex which is causing awful behaviours to feed my ‘childhood wounds of abandonment & rejection’

  • @ThisIsIt42768

    @ThisIsIt42768

    7 ай бұрын

    this man exactly going through

  • @BMILBOCKER10

    @BMILBOCKER10

    3 ай бұрын

    Me too 😢

  • @eyaalem7990

    @eyaalem7990

    2 ай бұрын

    Same here. It’s a good opportunity to just dig ourselves. This is a getaway to creativity. It’s raw creativity.

  • @wizzler613

    @wizzler613

    2 ай бұрын

    Same 😢

  • @alenaadamkova5322

    @alenaadamkova5322

    16 күн бұрын

    People shpould go every weekend to nature, camping, or hiking or to some cottage...absorb the nature, make food outside enjoy the fresh air... Nature increases your mood buta lso the immune system of body by 30-40 percent. do it regularly, then notice how it affects the relationships. Also the kids need the nature a lot.

  • @testebiiidama4129
    @testebiiidama412911 ай бұрын

    Breakups have the opposite effect on me, I don't eat nonstop. I practically gain automatic anorexia. I can't eat and the little I can eat makes me feel like throwing up. It would be good to have more tips for those who can't maintain zero contact, because work in the same place, have children, etc.

  • @BlueToxiiC

    @BlueToxiiC

    10 ай бұрын

    she broke up yesterday and i just cant eat i have the same problem as u

  • @intika8015

    @intika8015

    10 ай бұрын

    I understand same happen to me this time I had last 5 kg food didn’t had taste and I want it to throw it out, now I’m at list eating . And sometimes food tastes really good !!! Keep going watch a lot of videos, does help :)

  • @BlueToxiiC

    @BlueToxiiC

    10 ай бұрын

    @@intika8015 im afraid of bingin, but when im thinking of the memories we had my hunger goes away

  • @sandcrushlove

    @sandcrushlove

    9 ай бұрын

    I'm in so much pain I can't eat at all. Just lost my appetite completely but trying to drink coffee (with milk) and eat cheese. It's all I can bring my self to eat and drink right now just to have something in my stomach so it's not swirling with acid.

  • @vanessagarcia5043

    @vanessagarcia5043

    9 ай бұрын

    I been through 4 hurtful break ups in my life. Im actually going through a breakup right now that ended 2 days ago. Just know you will hurt through this time. It’s okay to hurt & and cry. It’s okay to not be able to eat. It’s okay to not be okay. You need to go through the process of being heart broken. It’s a process! One minute you will be fine, the next minute you will be in tears. You’re still in the addictive state & it’s hard. But keep working on yourself. This is my third time watching this video & it keeps making sense each time I watch it. Keep working yourself. Trust me. Keep putting yourself first & revisit this video in a couple of weeks or maybe even months, and it it will make sense

  • @Letsgetit138
    @Letsgetit1387 ай бұрын

    This is by far the best video I’ve seen over getting over a break up on KZread. This one really moved me

  • @roelienvanzyl534
    @roelienvanzyl5342 ай бұрын

    The break up is one thing, them moving on with someone else is on another level.

  • @609STAACKS

    @609STAACKS

    2 ай бұрын

    That's the stage I'm going threw now

  • @jason2723

    @jason2723

    Ай бұрын

    Same

  • @jahrooof

    @jahrooof

    Ай бұрын

    Yeah, good for them. Shows the type of person he or she is.

  • @Dfree4000

    @Dfree4000

    Ай бұрын

    So I'm not the only person that feels that. Worse part is the kid is too young too know bringing them up feels bad smh...

  • @yaseengaffoor

    @yaseengaffoor

    Ай бұрын

    They were never yours, it was only your turn.

  • @poorgirltutorial28
    @poorgirltutorial283 ай бұрын

    The rejection and ghosting are the worst things to process. 😢 But this made me realize that getting closure will never work. Thank you for this. 💔

  • @jahrooof

    @jahrooof

    Ай бұрын

    Yes, I’m going through the same thing. It hurts.

  • @davidforrest5982
    @davidforrest598227 күн бұрын

    5 yrs of marriage and she left a month and a half ago. Time to focus on my self now more than ever. I’ll never break. I love you all.

  • @seriesofjustbeing

    @seriesofjustbeing

    2 күн бұрын

    Did she say why?

  • @Pffffffffffffffffffffff
    @Pffffffffffffffffffffff4 ай бұрын

    About point number 4: After too many dissatisfying flings and dates and a couple heartbreaks, I started running, and man I ran a sub-3h40 marathon and I'm 44, my confidence is better than ever before, I'm having better quality dates, I set myself goals for the fun of it (qualify for Boston is now one of them), and the best part is I am now part of a community of active and healthy people... with a lot of single beautiful women!

  • @alexgolubski
    @alexgolubski10 ай бұрын

    I know I’m basically addicted to him. He broke up with me yesterday. It the difference is I know why he wants to break up. It’s harder for me bc like it’s if you love them let them go. I need to clean myself up and grow from this but I’m like a plant without sunlight. That’s how I feel. His smile would light my world. I need to find a new light and it has to be MY happiness. This time around I have to be for me.

  • @xdvriuss
    @xdvriuss7 ай бұрын

    “You are your own closure” thank you.

  • @matthewstanley893
    @matthewstanley893Күн бұрын

    20 years. We’ve been married for 15 years, but together for 20. We have a 16-year-old daughter, 12-year-old son. We had our daughter when we were both 21 years old. My wife asked for a divorce, four months ago . I feel like I’m on a different planet. Having kids so young, my eyes are only just now starting to open to the realization that I have no idea who I am. My identity since I was 21, and I turn 39 this Saturday, has been that of a father, and a husband. The whole concept of work on yourself is alien to me , and only now realizing that I have never done that in 20 years. Trying to stay hopeful that each day will provide a little more clarity.

  • @raquizana
    @raquizana11 ай бұрын

    4 yrs.. just ended up 2 days ago. It's Fu*king hurt man. The memories and everything that I did for her.. 😢

  • @12weekrelationships

    @12weekrelationships

    11 ай бұрын

    Sorry to hear. Indeed, it's painful.

  • @karolp7698

    @karolp7698

    11 ай бұрын

    Sending love!

  • @kaoshi_kutie

    @kaoshi_kutie

    11 ай бұрын

    You will get the through it ❤️🤗 let yourself mourn the relationship it’s the only way to heal

  • @rotondwamphagi7668

    @rotondwamphagi7668

    11 ай бұрын

    Dear stranger , Am sorry to hear this . Its extremely difficult to deal with this but keep going it will get better with time

  • @raquizana

    @raquizana

    11 ай бұрын

    @@kaoshi_kutie thank you I feel better now, she's dating someone before we break up. I just accepted it as a man.

  • @ravdoss
    @ravdoss Жыл бұрын

    "Everything that was once good is now bad" 36:15 My ex described our relationship of 20 years this way after deciding for divorce. She said the "only good thing" from our time together was our son. It was impossible to even grasp and she repeated it to relatives and I assume her friends. For every good thing I could cite she'd say she could come up with two bad things. It felt as though she had to cast the entirety of our relationship as one giant hellscape in order to justify destroying it.

  • @RichRobinson

    @RichRobinson

    Жыл бұрын

    That’s rough. I’ve experienced a similar kind of scenario - suddenly branded as the bad guy who “can’t be trusted” just so she could justify getting me out of the picture and give her new relationship the best chance of survival. She knew I’d done absolutely nothing wrong. I think it’s the only way she felt she could handle the situation to move on with him. It didn’t have to go down like that. I felt betrayed and unfairly punished for someone else’s weakness. Their relationship was on and off. She tried to reach out during one of their breaks but I didn’t take the bait. He hung himself 2 years later. I guess it’s fair to say it didn’t work out for them. 😂

  • @sloanmagnum5009

    @sloanmagnum5009

    11 ай бұрын

    She sounds like she was miserable the whole time. We only have your side of the story and shes not here to defend her position on the matter. If she went as far as to make sure you knew how unhappy she was then theres a reason from her perspective. Whether or not you were or were not the bad guy, she felt how she felt in the end. Where there not signs earlier in the relationship that hinted at her unhappiness? There had to have been.

  • @testebiiidama4129

    @testebiiidama4129

    11 ай бұрын

    I feel you, man. My ex husband started talking like that in the beginning when we broke up, and added that I disgraced his life, that he was an idiot for starting the relationship and insisting so much on it, etc. But now he's calmed down, good years have passed and he's still my best friend. Sometimes it's just the way he/she processes the pain, breakups are painful even for those who choose to break up. Lucky for me, as his wife I was already used to these outbursts of uncontrolled emotions and excessive anger over small things (in fact that was one of the reasons I thought it best to break up) I managed to deal reasonably well with all the hatred he distilled at first, since at least that was a good reason for him to react like that.

  • @edt8535

    @edt8535

    11 ай бұрын

    She did that reframing thing to make herself feel better and to justify her own actions in her mind. Period.

  • @ravdoss

    @ravdoss

    11 ай бұрын

    @@sloanmagnum5009 Every relationship has its ups and downs, no? And yes, you only have "my side" of the story and even in that you've only but the briefest glimpse of what I chose to speak about in reference to this video. The question of signs is an odd one because as I said... every relationship has its ups and downs, did I think there was anything glaring or relationship destroying? No but here's the kicker ...she admitted on her blog to having lied to me, her family and friends how she felt about things FOR YEARS, so there's that. There were times where I had asked if things were all right between us only to be told that all was fine and asked why I thought otherwise, those were lies she chose to tell versus the truth that could've led to things being worked on. You can ask all the right questions but if your partner will look you dead in the eye and lie then put it back on you like it's all in your head... what do you do? Call them a liar? Once she decided to be done she was a torrential downpour of truths she'd been keeping all to herself.

  • @kathleenblair7278
    @kathleenblair727811 ай бұрын

    I decided to break things off with a man that was looking for casual sex only. I am a recovering alcoholic and the break up made me want to drink. I am going to go forward regardless of how much it hurts. To drink would take me back drinking and being a piece of meat between the sheets.

  • @palapalak.8907

    @palapalak.8907

    11 ай бұрын

    I can so relate. It's so painful.

  • @edt8535

    @edt8535

    11 ай бұрын

    Someone who wants casual sex only is only worried about himself and he does not respect you, at least not like he should. I’m a man and I have certainly wanted casual sex from women before…but I have stopped doing that. Trust me, if that’s what the guy is after, it won’t likely change. I’m sorry, but that’s the painful truth.

  • @eringrey9297

    @eringrey9297

    8 ай бұрын

    2 months later. How are you?

  • @SocialwithRocki
    @SocialwithRocki10 ай бұрын

    Can I just say I just got ghosted after 2 years and was devastated until listening to you guys. The humor alone has cheered me up … these are great steps thank you

  • @SocialwithRocki

    @SocialwithRocki

    10 ай бұрын

    30:36 😂😂😂😂

  • @gingerqueen820

    @gingerqueen820

    4 ай бұрын

    How are you feeling now? Hope you are ok friend.

  • @SocialwithRocki

    @SocialwithRocki

    4 ай бұрын

    @@gingerqueen820 we are back together and doing amazing 🤩 I put my foot down and realized that I was part of the problem, ghosting was his reaction to avoid conflict

  • @KATKATT-on3gk

    @KATKATT-on3gk

    3 ай бұрын

    Ghosted after 16 yrs. Ugh

  • @SocialwithRocki

    @SocialwithRocki

    3 ай бұрын

    @@KATKATT-on3gk wow I’m so sorry about that

  • @danettecook2709
    @danettecook27095 ай бұрын

    I love how calming both of your voices are. This really helps when people are hurting. Thank you.

  • @bleu7468
    @bleu74685 ай бұрын

    I am so thankful I stumbled onto this, going through the mourning phase still and everything that was mentioned on this episode really resonated. I need to work on being dialectical, this is whats making me hold onto this toxicity.

  • @hollisterchik90
    @hollisterchik905 ай бұрын

    This is awesome. Really loved the podcast. Going through a toxic breakup. Really happy to see things like this for help.

  • @AudioNumeric
    @AudioNumeric11 ай бұрын

    The key is Forgiveness…. Let Go

  • @Eva22275
    @Eva222753 ай бұрын

    This video helped me more than anything else has so far. Putting it in terms of an addiction and some of the things you both said and even the compassionate way you talked about it, really helps. Putting it in terms of getting a fix helped me see things clearer and I dont want to put myself through any more pain than I've already been dragged through. So thankful I came across this, thank you

  • @claudiaweier1153
    @claudiaweier11539 ай бұрын

    Hank you for sharing your insight. Truly appreciate your honesty and open hearts to share what will save my life. I'm at the bottom of the put. but trying to pull myself up by my bootstraps. Thank you both.❤

  • @Aquaelle6
    @Aquaelle610 ай бұрын

    4 years living together and have "broken up" countless times. This video gives me hope in my future self and it's exactly what I needed to hear!Thanks guys.

  • @stillying
    @stillying4 ай бұрын

    Thanks, this is really helpful. I am coping with a breakup now. Even I know it’s the right thing to do, I know I want to leave, but I am still in pain and want to get a closure from the other person. I have listened to some other podcasts, I am glad you guys are talking about dealing with it like dealing with addiction. That’s exactly what I was feeling. I was addicted to that person. Even I knew the relationship wasn’t great anymore. I was still hanging on there because it’s more painful to cut the addiction.

  • @humblecoolkid5707
    @humblecoolkid570710 ай бұрын

    its realy helpful. i had an heartbreak and i just needed to listen to this

  • @hamhi98
    @hamhi9811 ай бұрын

    This video is extremely helpful and absolutely packed with great analysis of how to handle a breakup

  • @12weekrelationships

    @12weekrelationships

    11 ай бұрын

    Glad it was helpful!

  • @Lilo56555
    @Lilo5655510 ай бұрын

    I think this episode was really eye opening for me personally because of what I am going through right now. Very good talk, I enjoyed every second of it, and I might even replay it in the future for sure. All the best.

  • @Hotshotscott

    @Hotshotscott

    5 ай бұрын

    Agreed

  • @dominikagibalova6356
    @dominikagibalova63567 ай бұрын

    I reeeally enjoyed this Konversation. Very helpful. I love this sense of humor a lot. You guys are high classss.

  • @jaybee5794
    @jaybee579411 ай бұрын

    I'm going after someone that doesn't value me, to prove to him that I'm of value... Ugh

  • @majoritypatella2503

    @majoritypatella2503

    10 ай бұрын

    Stop. That sounds terrible.

  • @raemornverak6616

    @raemornverak6616

    10 ай бұрын

    me too😅 how stupid

  • @csolo3057
    @csolo30573 ай бұрын

    This opened my mind up so much and I felt like you guys were calling me out on my s**t. Literally had me put everything in perspective and show me the error of my ways in my relationships. Especially the part on closure. Thanks guys

  • @trevoraugustus2249
    @trevoraugustus2249 Жыл бұрын

    Breaking the drug addiction is super tough with co-parenting of little kids. So much back and forth is necessary, it really adds a layer of will power needed.

  • @user-ui5fi6rp9m

    @user-ui5fi6rp9m

    Жыл бұрын

    You are absolutely right, but like you said, with co-parenting of kids, breaking the addiction will absolutely be necessary.

  • @jeaninekane653

    @jeaninekane653

    11 ай бұрын

    Text him on WhatsApp for help 👆👆👆

  • @JM-cp6ei

    @JM-cp6ei

    5 ай бұрын

    Look into “parallel parenting” if u are still struggling with this. At first, it takes adjustment but I’ve seen parents become amicable within months of implementing after years of co-parenting breakup torment.

  • @xiamaem3526
    @xiamaem3526Ай бұрын

    I’ve listened and watched this 5x now. The advices are very helpful!

  • @L8-APEX
    @L8-APEX10 ай бұрын

    This helped put things in perspective for me. It still hurts, a lot. But at least now I see the light at the end of the tunnel. Thank you.

  • @L8-APEX

    @L8-APEX

    7 ай бұрын

    2 months later, I haven't spoken to her since the night we broke up. She got a new, MUCH older boyfriend (20yr gap) which also helped me because I now see her as desperate and pathetic. Finding that out also gave me a good laugh. I'm slowly getting back into the dating world and have began talking to a new girl. Cold turkey worked very well however she's still my first thought in the morning and last thought at night. I think that will change too as more time passes

  • @kankercutie

    @kankercutie

    5 ай бұрын

    @@L8-APEXupdate?

  • @L8-APEX

    @L8-APEX

    5 ай бұрын

    @kankercutie The girl I was heartbroken from ended up marrying the old dude (most likely for financial security) after dating/knowing him for a little over 2 months 😂😂 I can see now that I was also being used and could care less about her now although I still miss her kids that I became very close with. Wasn't even allowed to tell them goodbye or explain the situation. I hope they know I didn't abandon them. The new girl I mentioned im no longer dating either. She was extremely selfish and two-faced. I'm back to being single now and am content. It's amazing what some time and perspective will do for pain. I am very lonely but at least I'm off the emotional rollercoaster. I dont think I'm cut out for what dating had become today. I wanted kids & a family but at age 34 the chance of that is dwindling each year. I guess not everyone meets their someone and I've come to terms with that now. The main thing I can say is give yourself time before you do anything drastic like I almost did. Things will get easier. You can be the perfect partner to someone and they'll still leave you. That's on them, not you.

  • @kankercutie

    @kankercutie

    5 ай бұрын

    @@L8-APEX oh omg ...

  • @mizeria777
    @mizeria7775 ай бұрын

    I really appreciate your podcast and your way of talking and voice levels on here because it’s really soothing and calming. A lot of people on KZread doing this similar podcast have this kind of energy that I don’t even vibe with when I’m in the middle of Break up That really doesn’t feel empathic. Also, I wish I should’ve watched you guys the day of my break up because I’ve already sabotaged it by reaching out to him three times in the seven weeks of gap since the break up of me and my ex

  • @patgraham4622

    @patgraham4622

    2 ай бұрын

    Sending you hugs. Wish I too had seen this video earlier. I was rejected twice, this hit home " why are you chasing someone who doesnt want you" I am in therapy and working on myself.

  • @JM-cp6ei
    @JM-cp6ei5 ай бұрын

    Wow, this episode was so helpful and well done. It makes so much sense. Some of these concepts I’ve never heard before, but when u treat it like an addiction, what it really is similar to, it allows u to think of it from a 3rd party perspective which is really challenging to do when ur in the thick of it. great strategy in keeping with the willpower to find what everyone deserves: a healthier relationship with yourself And eventually a healthy partner.

  • @charlenewuerch3608
    @charlenewuerch3608 Жыл бұрын

    Good stuff this really added the most valuable concept on closure .. thanks

  • @user-ui5fi6rp9m

    @user-ui5fi6rp9m

    Жыл бұрын

    We are so glad that you liked it!

  • @jonasg1150
    @jonasg11506 ай бұрын

    This is a ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️settled breakdown. So clearly outlined on how to make a smooth transition while healing. I'm currently in the detox phase. Blocks, bounderies, and uninstall social accounts. Great🙏🏾🙏🏾

  • @indigodp7

    @indigodp7

    5 ай бұрын

    We got this 🙏 .. wish you the best 🙏

  • @chrisjames1866
    @chrisjames18666 ай бұрын

    Incredibly helpful and insightful Thanks guys & I’ll have a listen to more Letting go is complex & in my experience painful but the lessons through this lens of pain are providing me with a self awareness that was hidden whilst in the relationship and I truly don’t think I could have done the kind of work I’ve been able to do without being this vulnerable Anyway thanks again for the balanced view point it’s helped the tape stop whirring

  • @davidionepearl4244
    @davidionepearl42445 ай бұрын

    This was a wonderful find at the perfect time. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

  • @mariag7879
    @mariag7879 Жыл бұрын

    Awesome. So raw, real and insightful

  • @12weekrelationships

    @12weekrelationships

    Жыл бұрын

    Glad you enjoyed it!

  • @oliviaduarte7056
    @oliviaduarte705611 ай бұрын

    Ty for the podcast. It was extremely helpful. Started my 30 days yesterday.

  • @user-bi2xh4un3m

    @user-bi2xh4un3m

    10 ай бұрын

    How is it going

  • @leahcarandang9592

    @leahcarandang9592

    8 ай бұрын

    My second week a lot better :)

  • @michellecastro1696

    @michellecastro1696

    5 ай бұрын

    how are you? im on my day 2. feels like my heart is literally broken

  • @nserasera

    @nserasera

    3 ай бұрын

    Did you reach out in the beginning? I did contact after 10 days and now I feel like I messed up. But I just started it again and will continue. I guess relapse is apart of recovery but I’m committed and feel stronger like I can, partially bc reaching out didn’t change much…

  • @barbarauptain
    @barbarauptain3 ай бұрын

    I am going through a divorce from an 8 year marriage, this was so helpful as we have tried to get back together 2 times in the last 3 months we have been separated and it definitely has set me back on my healing journey, I am now back on track to healing... What I really liked about this video was the examples you gave, well done, Gentlemen! Thank you, keep up the good work!

  • @abdulrahmanfathey2280
    @abdulrahmanfathey2280Ай бұрын

    It’s been a while and I’m looking for something to soothe my pain and this is the podcast that changed everything and helped me to go sleep, the way y’all talk and the quiet background is super dope

  • @upgradedmanproject
    @upgradedmanproject7 ай бұрын

    Thank you so much for the eye opening perspective, especially the "role play" part about "closure" - almost exactly as if it played out in real life. It made me realize how stupid I was being in my approach. Its makes so much sense from that perspective- almost as if I am causing myself more pain in my desire to fix things and get "closure" This is litterally one of the best breakup videos I have seen in the last several months (and i have watched 100's of them from all different channels). This show really hit home. First time seeing your channel, it popped up on my feed and I am forever grateful!

  • @thaigirlinhouston878
    @thaigirlinhouston878Ай бұрын

    Today is my day 2 it’s hard I miss him … 😢but I know time will heal me …. Pray for everyone for recovery fast

  • @yaseengaffoor
    @yaseengaffoor3 ай бұрын

    I will keep returning to this video! What a blessing finding this.

  • @yaseengaffoor

    @yaseengaffoor

    Ай бұрын

    Two months later, I am back!!! 🤣 nah bro this on off has to stop at some point

  • @michaelugochukwu166

    @michaelugochukwu166

    24 күн бұрын

    ​@@yaseengaffoor9000

  • @kishacoleman209
    @kishacoleman2096 ай бұрын

    Thank you for making it click. I shall now begin my 30 days. Wish me luck!

  • @yahnazoe3618
    @yahnazoe361810 ай бұрын

    This podcast was incredibly helpful during a very difficult breakup. 30 day detox program is going to make this healing time different and more healthy then any other. Thank you.

  • @yahnazoe3618

    @yahnazoe3618

    10 ай бұрын

    And the thing about if there is something there now it will still be there in 30 days because we are trying to be friends like we were before. But the 30 day thing takes the pressure off and allows me to grieve the loss of lover..

  • @isaacwilliams7217

    @isaacwilliams7217

    10 ай бұрын

    how is it going now?

  • @scarletsletter4466

    @scarletsletter4466

    10 ай бұрын

    Don’t try to be friends, unless you were close friends for many years before you dated, or it wasn’t a longterm serious relationship. It’s just not usually worthwhile to be friends with exes

  • @kankercutie

    @kankercutie

    5 ай бұрын

    @@yahnazoe3618update

  • @slin1199
    @slin11999 ай бұрын

    I love the closure examples. It gives me a better idea of what could happened and really stopped me reaching out to him

  • @kathywhitner2049
    @kathywhitner204910 ай бұрын

    Thanks you guys ❤ I just ended a three yr relationship. I knew in my 💜 he wasn't the "one" as much as I wanted him to be. Hes a great person and brought a lot to the table. He was everything I wanted but the one thing I needed... I came to the realization and we ended it. It's still fresh and I saw him today briefly and it set me back again. Just wishing I had a cold ❤ and no feelings or emotions! Ugh But thanks for your candid and mildly entertaining pod cast... I just have more work to do on myself ❤

  • @scarletsletter4466

    @scarletsletter4466

    10 ай бұрын

    Same. Almost exactly.

  • @margaretsprague9465

    @margaretsprague9465

    9 ай бұрын

    Going through it...haven't done it yet...sadly still hanging on😢

  • @gillounet4766

    @gillounet4766

    8 ай бұрын

    3 years to realize he wasn't enough for you ? Wow.

  • @leahcarandang9592

    @leahcarandang9592

    8 ай бұрын

    On the same boat, 3 years he ended via phone call. It hurts but we will heal eventually.

  • @anabalraj410
    @anabalraj4109 ай бұрын

    So true - 'why chase somebody who doesn't want you?' Too many of us try to hold on to that thing that we know and too afraid to leave it alone, even though we know it's not good for us anymore... Thanks for sharing this video...

  • @anthonyvargasjr1602
    @anthonyvargasjr16023 ай бұрын

    Wow I really needed this video after a year of going back and forth every two weeks the walking on eggshells and her bipolar Behavior, i cant dobit anymore! I never thought I'd have to block someone but for my sanity im blocking her crazy ass. Day 1 the healing starts now. Great video ty!

  • @Travel-withnjugunas1624.
    @Travel-withnjugunas1624.3 ай бұрын

    I am going through a hard time from a break up i am grateful to hear from you guys

  • @seanarchie621
    @seanarchie6212 ай бұрын

    Awesome conversation Thankyou for making this content. Helps me put everything I’m going through into perspective. I’m not the only one going through this.

  • @msdarlingdanielle
    @msdarlingdanielle3 ай бұрын

    I appreciate this information. I’m hoping to apply all of this to my life. I want to avoid my future being negatively affected by this current situation. Thank you.

  • @merlieradin3060
    @merlieradin306011 ай бұрын

    I’m glad to hear this advice ❤

  • @matts6595
    @matts65955 күн бұрын

    Of all the breakup videos on here, this one has been the most helpful and real by far. The role playing was triggering over how real it was to receive those sorts of responses not only in seeking closure, but any sort of outreach can potentially lead to that back and forth. The addiction aspect is so helpful in that it reframes the situation into more logical terms and not an emotional mess. This video is amazing. I hope you have more similar ones.

  • @gglin5595
    @gglin55958 ай бұрын

    You are right . Why do we chase someone who doesn't want us...

  • @nofofakafeaot
    @nofofakafeaot7 ай бұрын

    This really cleared up everything for me and I’m so glad I came across this, just by watching your video I feel so much better already. Thank you both very much.

  • @MS-ns4ki
    @MS-ns4ki10 ай бұрын

    When someone ruthlessly left me .. I never chased him nor anyone else . That’s why I snip snip.. bc I already know what this is all about.

  • @jaimealatorre2115
    @jaimealatorre21155 ай бұрын

    This was such clear and great advice! Thank you so much

  • @myaalberto2959
    @myaalberto295910 ай бұрын

    This is sooooo deep & on point!!!!

  • @bettyyairo2073
    @bettyyairo20734 ай бұрын

    It’s not easy to put away all the things that remind you of him cause my son is a copy of his dad. I enjoyed watching this, thanks 🙏

  • @fabiolaserrano7458
    @fabiolaserrano745812 сағат бұрын

    Just ended a 9 year toxic relationship and this has been very helpful 😊thank you guys.

  • @lozmarks
    @lozmarks3 ай бұрын

    I'm currently in my 3rd week now after an 8 year relationship. We weren't good before, but I'm still very much in the phase of missing the good times.. etc.. This video is very helpful and reaffirms the need to continue no contact for me (only 5 days currently). I'm trying to play the stubborn game now, as before I was reaching out most days.. "if she isn't messaging me, then why should I message her" is my new take on it now. I'm hoping closure will naturally come as a biproduct of the no contact. Thank you Pye and Dr. Glen.

  • @AudioNumeric
    @AudioNumeric11 ай бұрын

    Wow. This dialogue is an exact replica of my on relationship with my separated wife of almost 2 years. I am the empath, my wife is the abuser, the manipulator... the goggles have woken me up to her abuse and I am done. I wish her the best!

  • @L8-APEX

    @L8-APEX

    10 ай бұрын

    I'm an empath as well. It seems to have been more of a curse than a blessing. I'd pick up on a problem long before my ex was ready to admit there was one. She gaslit and manipulated me constantly. We broke up over something trivial and it could've easily been fixed. I'm now realizing that if it wouldn't have been that thing it would've been something else. If they really loved you the way you loved them, they would've stayed and would've made it work. Period. You're better off for it in the long run.

  • @Angel-8
    @Angel-8 Жыл бұрын

    Thank you so much. Incredibly helpful.

  • @user-ui5fi6rp9m

    @user-ui5fi6rp9m

    Жыл бұрын

    Thank you for your support and kind words!

  • @aliciagardner3288
    @aliciagardner32884 ай бұрын

    Wow!! What an amazing video. Thank you SO much for your wisdom 🙏💗 Thank you also for the bonus of the closure role playing which made me cry of laughter 😅😂 Wisdom combined with humour is so effective! 🙏💖

  • @lisastanek6954
    @lisastanek69542 ай бұрын

    Really needed this today, Thank You!

  • @jayathey5715
    @jayathey571511 ай бұрын

    Thank you guys. You guys rock

  • @12weekrelationships

    @12weekrelationships

    11 ай бұрын

    Thanks for joking us!

  • @naturale_appeal2790
    @naturale_appeal2790Ай бұрын

    The rejection skits WERE helpful! So on point!

  • @hope4463
    @hope44634 ай бұрын

    I enjoyed this talk so much. It was also very humorous.

  • @mayureshgadekar2860
    @mayureshgadekar28605 ай бұрын

    Thanks for this.. these were the exact things which I wanted to hear

  • @fredkhan3657
    @fredkhan36577 күн бұрын

    This was great , the last segment about just manufacturing hate / anger . 11 years of 90% great relationship forgotten over 10% not that bad :/ Thank you guys .

  • @NoelVanSpoor
    @NoelVanSpoor4 ай бұрын

    Regarding closure: Sometimes, people end the relationship in a way that leaves me with so many questions. In this case, having a discussion with the ex helps me to understand things better. I've done this before, and it did help because then I didn't have those questions constantly going through my mind. But it's important to make sure your agenda is just that and nothing more, with no hidden agenda to get back together, for example.

  • @walterayala7590
    @walterayala7590Ай бұрын

    Thank God I found this I needed this so badly

  • @EuniceGraceShoplinks
    @EuniceGraceShoplinks17 күн бұрын

    I have learned so many things from this podcast. Thank you.

  • @lidijamitic9925
    @lidijamitic992511 ай бұрын

    Enjoing listening you guys ❤ thank you

  • @mitchelcline9759
    @mitchelcline97592 ай бұрын

    Two days ago breakup, 9 years are finished. She breakup me. Terrible pain. I decide zero contact. Over 2 weeks now. 1 contact (her to me) via email, kept it just business, nothing since, talking to new girl, she's nice. Definitely go the no contact route. Be strong. Met the new girl randomly on hike with my daughter. Zero internet dating success despite trying.

  • @SnapEtaco

    @SnapEtaco

    2 ай бұрын

    Same brother. 10 years. Then ghosted like I never mattered. The last contact was "I'm done. I can't take it anymore." It was my fault, but couples have had way worse fights. Way worse. She was younger than me. She'll find a guy quick. I've cutoff contact, 10 days and counting. Been working out hard. Still thinking of her everyday, some days more than others. Praying for a positive outcome. I know it will come but GOD DAMN, the waiting period is HELL. Stay strong brother. And everyone else reading this and hurting.

  • @mitchelcline9759

    @mitchelcline9759

    2 ай бұрын

    @@SnapEtaco Yesterday I talked to some guys at the gym and I never did before. Old me would've been chasing girls, new me is building friends. Trying to at least. It's helping. Also, a massive help is gratitude. When I'm hurting terribly and can't take my mind off her I start repeating over and over in my mind everything and everyone in my life that I'm grateful for. Over and over in my mind until I start being so filled up with gratitude that all the poison and pain in me gets squeezed out from not enough room. Don't try not to think about her it won't work. But focusing intensely on gratitude will fill you with so much good that it'll push out the other. It works for me.

  • @carolenabobo8903
    @carolenabobo89039 сағат бұрын

    Yesterday I told the man I was seeing that I was too invested in him & because this is not what he wants i had to end what we have. For a year & a half he has been there supporting me, soothing me thru my hards times, & pleasing me through having his full attention. I thought we were moving closer to feeling the same way about each other. He would use the L word but I refused because i never felt he truly love- he cared but I won't use this word when the truth of that word is not reciprocated. However, I was falling in love with him. I wasn't sure how he was going to respond but I certainly wasn't expected what I got. He seemed happy with my decision. In an upbeat tone he said ok. Then we spent the rest of the afternoon as we would have otherwise. And he left- no hug, no well wishes, no word of I might miss you, & he didn't look back. Just three days before, I thought we were getting closer than ever- that he must be beginning to have some of the same feelings I have. But I guess not. It hurts, i but did not want to live out the next year and a half with heart ache because I know that invested love is only going in one direction. Something neither one of is want.

  • @lauriedunn7573
    @lauriedunn75733 ай бұрын

    Very helpful, I just ended a 9 year relationship so very difficult, it's been months for us not connecting and very uncomfortable space it was time so hard to do

  • @Awahforever
    @Awahforever6 ай бұрын

    Lmfaooo just found you guys, love the content! Please do more role play, it’s hilarious and respect that you guys are being realistic as well. ❤

  • @Howtocaricature
    @Howtocaricature3 ай бұрын

    This is great advice for teenage and 20s dating. When you are married for 10 years. When they become part of your muscle memory. This is only a little helpful. Men getting dumped is a serious problem and after 1/2your money is gone, along with loss, it's a ptsd type problem. You cant just suck it up gentlemen. Once you get more seasoning in age you will understand.

  • @joe-powell

    @joe-powell

    3 ай бұрын

    Keeping busy, getting your mind off it should help. But of course it hurts so much I understand what your saying.

  • @lilyrexy3397
    @lilyrexy33977 ай бұрын

    Thanks, even though this podcast is 1year ago now but it really helps. Just broke off a 5 year+ relationship on mutual decision, the relationship wasn't very healthy anymore. We were more like friends then couple at a point but the break up really really hurts, all the memories starts flooding my mind and it's like I'm losing part of myself

  • @NBAlikeplays

    @NBAlikeplays

    Күн бұрын

    How are you rn?

  • @lteller4445
    @lteller4445Ай бұрын

    Great information!! Thank you for this information made it so much easier on me

  • @ericacortinas6870
    @ericacortinas687010 ай бұрын

    You guys are so great!!!!

  • @12weekrelationships

    @12weekrelationships

    10 ай бұрын

    Thank you and thank you for being here!

  • @laylenehong3054
    @laylenehong30544 ай бұрын

    Awesome very good advice it's painful but you need to have a self conviction to start the process. Knowing and feeling that the relationship is not what you want .😮

  • @khoakdoan
    @khoakdoan2 ай бұрын

    You guys have changed my perspective. I love her very much but i was so desperate to get her back in my life. I guess i was just lacking confidence and just simply insecure.

  • @hildarendon663
    @hildarendon6639 ай бұрын

    I'm Starting my 30 day today! 👍😃 This is very interesting , helpful, very educating, useful. Thank you immensely for these extremely great practical tools to get over it, to understand it, to heal & move on with my life!...🙏

  • @12weekrelationships

    @12weekrelationships

    9 ай бұрын

    You're so welcome!

  • @wisconsinfarmer4742

    @wisconsinfarmer4742

    9 ай бұрын

    today I finally deleted all of our communications. we broke up 30 days ago.

  • @jonnsmith556

    @jonnsmith556

    8 ай бұрын

    ​@@12weekrelationshipshow can I go 30 days when we share a child and share custody?

  • @ByTheWilliams

    @ByTheWilliams

    4 ай бұрын

    Update?

  • @Haise8
    @Haise82 күн бұрын

    Thank you so much This was GREAT and timely as I'm going through a break up. Thank you again

  • @kubilayhepozden8100
    @kubilayhepozden81009 ай бұрын

    Loved your talk and found it very soothing. I am in the middle of a break up and living through massive emotions. Is there a way to ease and find to regain that heart and mind balance if your partner wants to talk about it?...or do I need that 30 day cold turkey? In brackets, I am the one who cut the cord and still love her