I feel like a caged bird...

@stellaadler120

Жыл бұрын

Alicia Keys - Caged Bird. Listen 🎶

@rural_girl555

11 ай бұрын

same here

@ShizaMunir-dc6iy

9 ай бұрын

😢😢me too

@TheFoxJuli

8 ай бұрын

Same

@ShizaMunir-dc6iy

8 ай бұрын

@@TheFoxJuli 😭

It's crazy how the ones that are supposed to love us are the ones that are hurting us.

I'm finally moving out next month. I can't put up with my toxic mother anymore. I'm so happy, living alone is hard at first but I'm happy to be independent FINALLY after so long. Wish me luck guys 😀😀

@AshaJacob

Жыл бұрын

So happy for you, Shuvankar!

@jimfast-official

Жыл бұрын

I moved out at 18,payed a few visits and tried to forget the past and love them,I am 23 now.I went back home last month,I thought things had changed,I realized I am the only one who changed,I had a project there but I had to just leave it and forget it. yesterday i returned to my place and sweared not to get back there again

@AshaJacob

Жыл бұрын

@@jimfast-official Change only comes to those that put in the work. I'm sorry they couldn't meet you halfway and grow a new relationship together. You're amazing for recognizing the reality of the situation and creating a boundary that respects your mental health.

@georgieb1043

Жыл бұрын

You don't need luck because you can do it!😊

@tinadey1472

Жыл бұрын

So happy to see this comment . Congratulations for you happy life

Thing is I know their patterns and how to deal with them and i do have these hobbies . But it's just so draining even being around them because i feel like i always have to be on guard and prepared for anything constantly

@king1ut275

2 жыл бұрын

Expect them to be who they are - if they have shown you toxicity = expect toxicity - if you expect it will never come as a surprise - if you don't react = they will begin to realize you are not giving them what they want

@anoran.7505

2 жыл бұрын

@@king1ut275 yes I'm at that point where I won't be surprised no matter what they do. Just hard living with people who have no respect for you yk

@king1ut275

2 жыл бұрын

@@anoran.7505 I 100% overstand you. I'll give you this adopt the mindset that " whether or not you gain their respect you will be content " - attempt to fuel your happiness with the things you can give to yourself - Look at this as an opportunity to overcome trust me you will be surprised at your outcome. - 💗

@anoran.7505

2 жыл бұрын

@@king1ut275 well thank you very much for the advice

@___-dl3gz

2 жыл бұрын

@@king1ut275 not reacting to my parents had made them increasingly violent and worse

I cut a lot of things with me family, they barely contact me but the sadness is killing me. Up to my age 25 the ( non voluntary) destroyed my mental health. They literally destroyed every part of my personality and when I left they played victim.

@Ineskb20

2 жыл бұрын

samee

@king1ut275

2 жыл бұрын

- Anything we are attached to will pain us to depart from ( the idea of having a whole family ) - They have not killed your personality, if that's what you believe that's what will be true - if you leave from them broken = that was their goal - if you leave from them healed = they lost - It's not the snake bite that kills you it's the venom - the bites are your parents and the venom is the emotional disturbances you may experience after leaving them however in this cause you have a chance to live & you get to choose whether or not you will REMAIN poisoned ---💗

@dilnavarghese1683

2 жыл бұрын

Hugs..

@mohamedelsharif4859

2 жыл бұрын

They will try to feel you guilty , don't listen to them be ruthless and keep going , your mental health must become your first priority , life out there need you , don't never ever allow to yourself feeling guilty just start your new life you won't regret it

@SanaKhan-gf8ui

2 жыл бұрын

Same here ... But I can't cut off with them

The fact that you’re still young to move out and you have to survive some more years...

@basiakwiecinska832

2 жыл бұрын

Same 😭

@user-gh9kx2xk7u

2 жыл бұрын

Same

@ketchumuu

2 жыл бұрын

Same

@tahabaloch5281

2 жыл бұрын

I am 27 and still i have to live with her house because their is no rule of living alone in Pakistan 🇵🇰😭

@manvibhadauria2570

2 жыл бұрын

God... I remember that time. Hang in there, i am rooting for you. 👍

I need help too. I feel like I am living with a time bomb whenever mom is around. But I can't move out. I still doesn't have the financial freedom to do so. I need to unplug. But we're in a community lock-in.

@losh_mi87

2 жыл бұрын

Same here. My mother is so toxic! Awful!

@monikaa3587

2 жыл бұрын

Same here…

@monikaa3587

2 жыл бұрын

And she is also Serbian?💀😵

@king1ut275

2 жыл бұрын

Toxic parents will typically drain your energy so that you have no energy to gain your independence. - they need someone to project their pain on to so if you're out there " working " then they can't use you

@fiddle8192

Жыл бұрын

Same…😞

Reading all these comments really makes me wonder what an actual healthy family looks like. I woke up to this, all i know is this. Hoping for everyone to be able to stand on their own. We got this, we are strong.

whoever you are, i truly respect what you can achieve while under parent pressure, i myself am on the verge of becoming independent and cutting them off once and for all. you dont wanna know what it took. my personality is ruined, i barely have any friends and all i did the last few years was grind. grind grind grind. my family is poor which is bad in itself but the worst is that they are absolutely mentally insane and really ruined my mental the last 10 years. i hope i can recover from it but there will always be a hole in my childhood.

@sir._.losius._.1765

Жыл бұрын

you will recover and you deserve all the blessings you've worked so hard for. I wish you nothing but the best for you

@corneliusfrank

Жыл бұрын

My man, I feel the same way. I feel like my personality has been destroyed and has made it difficult to keep/make friends. I wasnt always this way. I was on my own for a few years and was thriving emotionally/spiritually. I now feel like a shell, completely numb all the time. Nothing makes me happy. I need to be freed from these chains. Im almost there. Hope you are well brother

@zev_zevvy

Жыл бұрын

​@@corneliusfrank im 15, will probably be bound to them till im into my twenties. My personality has already drastically changed and my parents wonder why. Its kinda fun y tbh. Cant wait till i lose all my friends conpletely due to trust, abandonment and qll the other issues i am developing 🤩🤩🤩

@muniaisworthit

Жыл бұрын

I'm happy for you, I can feel it all and moving out and live on my own is a dream for me.

My parents spread rumors about me among neighbors and relatives every other month and not sure how to get over it. My parents are narcissistic

@mamta6512

2 жыл бұрын

same

@lululs4014

2 жыл бұрын

same

@mimproud9868

2 жыл бұрын

Same ...am drying

@darkslaerdark

Жыл бұрын

My Sister and Mother doing same thing toward me( im 30 next year )

@CatherinkrDanniel-oe6xn

Жыл бұрын

My mom does the same,and I am mother of two.

My parents are really emotionally abusive, sometimes even physically abusive, but I’m 13 so I can’t move out. I feel like I’m the one parenting in this house because all my parents do is sleep, smoke and argue and I’m always left to look after my younger siblings. Plus I have to study all the time and it’s just so draining and idk what to do

@girlychocolate6907

2 жыл бұрын

You are so young, only a child and you have to deal with adults problems, it’s so unfair. I can see myself in your message, 5 years ago. Focus on your study, it’s sooo important because it can help you becoming independant when you’ll be older, and more than that give you all the education that your parents should have gave you. Be strong, even if it’s hard believe in yourself, I swear things can get better. Oh and one more thing, as soon as you get out of this, take the time to heal and be compassionate with yourself. You got this.

@Veryverybored98

2 жыл бұрын

@@girlychocolate6907 I’m getting homeschooled soon so I can study while my brother and sister are at school, and I can look after them when they’re home

@king1ut275

2 жыл бұрын

Meditate, Stay Hydrated & Remember - You are being tested - It has NOTHING to do with you - whenever they attempt to be emotionally abusive = choose not to feel emotionally abused ( remaining aware when they attempt to trigger you will make this easier )

@user-gr7qu4hw2l

2 жыл бұрын

hi army 😔💜💜

@sufiaakter539

2 жыл бұрын

@@user-gr7qu4hw2l 🥺🥺😭😭

The fact that you understand it’s not as simple as just getting a job when living with her is making me too unstable and was taught to be not trusting of the world (I’ve been working on self love but acknowledge that this takes time), this video is also making me realise I’m doing super good I’m very productive just praying for solutions to gather money so I can get the fuck outta here lmao ❤️

@rosebud_blooming

2 жыл бұрын

Im in the same boat!!

@meezy3188

2 жыл бұрын

Facts because being around that a lot can’t effect how you operate in your work place 💯

@Indi_Waffle_Girl

Жыл бұрын

Seriously!!! It's too freaking draining. I'm trying to graduate college in 5 months and I've barely been able to go to school this semester and do my hw bc of the environment. But I don't want to stay home bc my housemate is ALWAYS there. Never get a chance to decompress. It wears on you. May we all find resources and strength to leave 💛

@raneem1476

Жыл бұрын

Hey can we contact on Instagram cuz I'm in a similar situation ! I'd appreciate your help

@landscapes402

Жыл бұрын

Thank you so much🙏🙏🙏

My mother is a misogynistic matriarch ,and my father loves ignoring every bad thing happening in our household My brothers are seven year younger than they are abusive They shattered my confidence May they taste Thier own medicine someday

@crystals5692

2 жыл бұрын

I have the EXACT same situation, except my brother is 9 and always gets away with anything....I'm so tired of having to live with them. Moving out isn't a choice. I feel like no matter what I do they always get away with it and if I speak up about it I just end up being bullied by them. they are so awful. I'm here if you want to talk, living in an abusive/toxic household is never easy.

@Candycloud_19

Жыл бұрын

@@crystals5692 im kinda in the same situation. my mom is very toxic

@Fenrispro

Жыл бұрын

Sigh same here, cept for me also having them liking to hoard too 😡

@jaky411

Жыл бұрын

Yep same. My mom is very controlling and codependent at the same time with me as her older daughter and my dad does nothing to step in even when he knows she’s doing things wrong and unfair…

@user-pd4qj8pb6z

5 ай бұрын

Same, here. I will grind to move, out. Please be, safe.

one of the hardest things i ever had to come to terms with was that my mother wasn’t the person i thought she was. it took me a long time, close to 3 years, to get all my ducks in a row and finally be in a position where i can support myself financially. my best advice: figure out how much rent and utilities will cost (i refuse to have roommates so my rent will be a little higher vs. having roommates). rent times 3 should equal your monthly income. whether it’s income from one or two jobs, make rent 3 times before taxes. i’m working with a real estate agent to help me look for rentals. it’s easy and free and super helpful. GET. OUT. that’s your main priority. build your credit if it’s not good (at least 600), save your money as if you are paying rent. survive now, live later.

@AshaJacob

Жыл бұрын

Thank you for sharing your experience. Hugs!

@Di.sodivinee

Ай бұрын

Thank you for sharing b/c at the moment I feel like I just found out but it’s so many emotions & confusion I’m feeling, I’m worried I’ll let this hurt stop me from my goals. I don’t want to feel hurt forever, but I’ll try to take my time with healing ❤🙏🏽thanks

I deserve peace, seeing fights since I was 7, I am 15 so cant move out plus i am Indian 🤷, you probably understand

I was much happier living alone. However, I've had to move in with my elderly grandmother to help take care of her. My drug addict father is now a huge pain in my butt and as long as I live here he will keep showing up and making my life miserable. I just want to be an independent adult again. I'm tired of all of this family drama.

@king1ut275

2 жыл бұрын

Get to the point where you no longer care - their goal is to ruin your life with " negative emotions " so ....purposefully choose to feel good. - My mother would call the police, kick me out or spread lies about me = once I realized what she was trying to do " disturb my peace " I no longer let her - no 1 can hurt you or make you feel anything without your permission.

@stellaadler120

Жыл бұрын

Oh boy, do I understand. Once you move in to take care of granny, you're stuck forever! I'm leaving tomorrow after 8 years of putting my life on hold

@maxgilbert18

Жыл бұрын

@@stellaadler120 I'm still here. The drugs got my father though so at least I'm not dealing with that anymore

@denfolo5224

Жыл бұрын

@@maxgilbert18 Thanks for all you do for grandma! 🥰

@jeanjacqueslundi3502

7 ай бұрын

I'm sorry to hear that Max. I'm in a chronic shitty situation myself. All I know is whatever the answer is, it will involve doubling down on self-compassion and nurturance.Because that's what we don't have. Sending you a big hug

It’s too the point where idc if I ever talk to them again

Been trying to better my situation with self-improvement/ mental health videos, but this. This right here is the single most helpful advice I've gotten to decisively change my situation.

Its been 20 yrs, I still have issues , I am not used to their toxicity, all I want to scream nd move as far I can and never come back

@AshaJacob

Жыл бұрын

I'm so sorry Arya. Please create emotional boundaries and stay detached from them to protect yourself. Hugs.

I need to get the fuck out of here 😡😔

@user-gh9kx2xk7u

2 жыл бұрын

Same

@johngonzalezjg3529

2 жыл бұрын

Same

@Gloroxsocks

2 жыл бұрын

Same

@SharlenesJourney

2 жыл бұрын

Same Idk how too 😔 but ima find a way or just make my own way out good luck to you praying for you ♥️🙏🏾💪🏾

@Peter-eo5kh

2 жыл бұрын

Same

i am lately really really struggling with my toxic parents,,, and i really cant stay any minutes anymore in this house with my mum .. and i am really trying my best not to listen to hear while she is shouting and ovensing me... send help

You had me at the confused part in the beginning. That’s exactly how I feel even though deep down I know it’s not me that’s the problem.

My dad had always beeb a toxic individual. he also has history of being physicslly abusive to my brother and mothrr..and hes verbally and emotionally abusive to all. he shows the signs of narcissitic personality disorder. sadly, i have to take a gap semester from school due to expenses so i have to live at home while i build my monry..i really want to move out quickly and cut him off

It's simply so exhausting to be around them. They put pressure on me thinking that I'll get motivated but that's just not the case. They tell me i've changed whilst not realising they changed drastically too. In my childhood they used to support me and believe in me. That gave me fuel to do great academically. But now ALL that they do is keep. on. insulting. I simply don't work like that. I've told them about this but they just aren't willing to listen. They keep comparing me to be like these "other kids". I'm sorry i just CANT. Why do I have to walk on eggshells around them and cannot myself relax even a little ?

I think it is easily overlooked the importance of hope in these situations, having a clear vision/ goal really helps in times of ambiguity

I got a job to avoid toxic parents and my abusive dad and now my dad thinks I have to buy everything on my own 🤦‍♀️

@butterflyphoenix6902

Жыл бұрын

It's a ploy to get you to become frustrated and quit your job.My dad does that too

@AshaJacob

Жыл бұрын

It's almost like you don't exist to him. Hope you're doing alright Elena.

@biancalord488

Жыл бұрын

My father wanted half of my check. And our utilities stayed off

I’m losing my patient everyday , sisters mom every time with their abusive mindset , And abusing me psychologically

Am in my mid 20s , still staying with my toxic parents , i got pregnant and that made me stagnate for an year n a half , now am really trying to find my way so my kid doesnt have to go thru the same shit

@unknownuser4879

Жыл бұрын

Im so sorry to hear that. My dad has been behacubf very inapropiately around my little sister lately. I feel like I need to protect her and it's so draining. I just want to be safe but I can't report anything

@AshaJacob

Жыл бұрын

I hope you've been finding a way to set some boundaries, detach from their toxicity, and find your own space soon. Hope you're doing alright Kassy.

@AshaJacob

Жыл бұрын

Please report that kind of behaviour. It's these kind of things that can cause lifetime traumas and wounds. You're not overreacting.

@unknownuser4879

Жыл бұрын

@AshaJacob I know that i should report it but it's not easy at all I will do it if he every tried to do it again

My mom stressing me badly

Its draining as they string you along with the siblings as you grew up with them many years tool care of them, especially when they made u depend on them by mental and physical abuse

This is the best advice i ve ever heard! And the most realistic one thank you

My older sister has always been physically abusive. She and my younger Sister impersonated and stole from me. I moved far away but now my Sister is guilt tripping me about visiting them. I get so overwhelmed and triggered and I don't know if I can put myself in a situation like that (again). I have no idea what to do. I feel like if I cut them out they will attack me again.

@aspirateur4049

2 жыл бұрын

No matter what you do, they will still attack you. Cut them off !

@yashasaur

2 жыл бұрын

You’ll get attacked either way 😔 pick the attack that doesn’t lead to more attacks, take that last attack

@catelynnlouisa2907

Жыл бұрын

Don't see them again would be my advice

So far the clearest and best you tube therapy coach I have encountered.On the based study about narcissistic people.I agree just see through them with some background education on psychology.Need to be thick skinned and best live away if possible.You get the type that will tell you "you can't afford to live out you'll struggle". Don't let them control you like that.

If you are confused if your parents or family is toxic this is your sign 🪧 you find a video when u need it …

Amazing tips! I have two hobbies but like it was already mentioned, it's draining to be around my toxic parents. I need to start setting boundaries though.

@AshaJacob

Жыл бұрын

I hope you've been able to set up some boundaries and feel better, Jazmin. Hugs.

@jaz1elise

Жыл бұрын

@@AshaJacob Thanks Asha! I still need to work on setting healthy boundaries. Hugs!

Thanks so much for this video! These tips are so awesome! I think making like our own rules on how to deal with things is great and a great coping skill and coping skills you can give yourself! So happy I ran across this I think this will help alot.

@AshaJacob

10 ай бұрын

Aw thank you, Gabrielle! I'm so glad you found it helpful. Hugs

My mother is a narcissist. Last time, she felt bad because she did not eat well but she said no word about it, and she blamed me, saying I was like my father and I swear that day I got dressed up, I felt nice but she ruined it. I guess it is part of my fault because she told that as long as I lived with her I had nothing to worry about, I believed her, and I continued my studies, now I do not have enough money to move out, and it is really sad being alone, feeling alone. I shouldn't have believed her but I was a teen and it took years to realize that she was manipulating me, trying to keep hold of me. Besides, she only loves my older brother (her first son), the bad guys are my sister and I. But my sister moved out years ago, and I am all alone. I wish things were different, I'll move out for sure but seriously I'm afraid, I don't want to be alone but I don't want to suffer anymore.

This video is gold one. I find it really helpful and thank you for this. ❤❤

Moving out is very costly , especially in third world country like ours.

Ty for your beautiful advise, it was so very helpful and significant. ❤😊

God bless you for sharing this useful, and helpful information to so many who need it. You're a beautiful being. Thank you 💛

@AshaJacob

Жыл бұрын

Thank you so much, Ginni!

Honestly I tried talking to my mom about how much I hated the fact that she respects more my brother than myself. She got so upset and mad that she told me “Well, I am the one paying here. So I can do whatever I want with you and your bedroom.” She doesn’t understand that the fact her presence is in my room is something I dislike because I have caught her several times going through my personal stuff and even my gadgets in which I have the freedom to express without being judged like in here. Even my own personal dairy is in jeopardy because I am afraid that she will read what I think of her and eventually problems will arise because she thinks I wasn’t being honest with her ( I’m 28). Today I caught her again while I was sleeping, now I’m afraid of sleeping because she will come by and snoop around. She makes me feel like a caged bird, scared and even in danger. ⚠️

@AshaJacob

28 күн бұрын

Gosh, it's so appalling when parents violate their child's privacy. If your mom is hot headed and unlikely to listen to any sort of reasoning, please move out as soon as possible, if you can. Stay with other family, friends even. If that's not an option, please keep your diary safe, as she might completely lose it if she feels disrespected. But ultimately, finding financial independence has to be the goal to keep yourself safe. I'm sorry you're going through this.

@12Lanye

28 күн бұрын

@@AshaJacob I was thinking about that too and thank you for understanding me without judging me because when I wrote this I felt afraid. I am still afraid that she’ll find out. 🥺

Thanks a lot! Love you🥰

I have recently been forced to confront my family about the events that occurred to me this year. The only reason why I had to do this was in order to make them understand the reason behind my bad academic record. But still even with that, my family is not supportive of me and its just so painful and I am also defeated right now. I opened up to my family about being a victim of rape and abuse but they blaming me for it. They state that since I made the choice to be with this person I am even blamed to the extent that I am the reason behind this man's abusive behavior. My family does not believe my side of the story, they are blaming me for my silence. I cry every single day and I also feel hopeless with regards to life. I do not have the financial means to be alone right now because I am still under their roof and I am still just a university student. I really don't know what to do but I am literally trying to be strong each and everyday. I am too weak to stop the self-doubt, self-blame when my family is consistently reminding me that I am the perpetrator instead of the victim. I just felt like venting and I hope that I will not be judged for using this platform in order to vent about what I am currently going through.

@AshaJacob

Жыл бұрын

Suphile, I'm so, so sorry you're experiencing this. Your family should always be there to protect and support you from traumatic experiences. Yet yours blames you. It's very obvious they are just reacting to their own immature feelings of the incident, instead of think about it from your side. I hope you've found some support from outside your family, and that you're doing well. One thing I want to let you know is that EVEN IF a child is at fault for getting themselves hurt (like driving drunk), your family's response is wildly toxic and inappropriate. Please form boundaries with them and don't allow them to distort your views about yourself and what happened. You deserve to heal. Hugs.

@suphilemajodina

Жыл бұрын

@@AshaJacob I really do appreciate you replying to my message 🥺. You have no idea what it means to me. Please keep doing your videos because it does touch someone’s life out there (including mine). May God bless you 🙏🏽

@aberpeacekijange3764

Жыл бұрын

Sorry for what u are going through. And all the best

My parents are both heavy drinkers and smokers... They smoke in the house and I don’t its gross and even harmfull to my health.. I can’t move out because I can’t buy a house... A house for rent is unavaileble because of the housing problem in The Netherlands. My mom is narsesistic and very controling trough all my life and has manic episodes especially when she is drunk, and my dad is just drinking and smoking and being lazy all day. They have sometimes people over who also drink and smoke then I am upstairs, they are really loud. Also my parents fight a lot. My boyfriend lives in Mexico and hopefully he can soon live here and when we work together we can buy a house and just be together... Sadly moving here takes a lot of time. He is the only one who knows what I am going trough and understand it. Because litteraly most of my family is toxic... Gosh its so hard :( also I just found out that I have adhd probably because of my bad childhood... I really hate it here and can’t take it anymore but I have to keep going.

I just wanna die 😑

@_DashingAdi_

2 жыл бұрын

Me too

@llsss777

2 жыл бұрын

I completely understand what you're going through. There's so much more love that life has to offer, and most importantly JESUS LOVES YOU SO MUCH 🤍🤍🤍

@_DashingAdi_

2 жыл бұрын

@@llsss777 How does it matter whether he loves me or not. It doesn't affect me in the slightest away. It's like my parents say they love me after making my live a living hell except that jesus doesn't do anything

@imjustsayin34

2 жыл бұрын

@@_DashingAdi_ facts lol my parents are huge Jesus freaks as well. I wonder if I’ll even care about relationship with God after I move out because that bitch has done nothing for me

For Me : Toxic = Parents and Parents = Toxic

@rupal9708

Жыл бұрын

❤

Really loved ur advise !❤😊

My problem is the moving out and be independent kinda culture we don't have it and I'm not even allowed to and it's not even safe Im not allowed to go out Today my dad said no to me for going yo my bff wedding party for like no reason at all Also he wants me to stay at home 24/7 Thank god i only go to college which's the only place i go to When i talk about my rights he says youre a slave under my shoes Im sure that my family is the definition for the pure toxicity I hate my dad and i hate my life and i which that i can make a change cuz I'M LITERALLY DONE

Your videos are amazing!!!

Sometimes I wish I was dead

i’m 14 so i can’t move out anytime soon 😢

In every video I see, the first thing the advisors say is to move on asap. Actually there are situations where there is impossible to move and you guys are making me even more anxious and that makes me feel that the best thing I can do to survive is not possible for me. So I am fucked....

@AshaJacob

Жыл бұрын

I totally get how frustrating it can be. It's hard to heal when you're in the environment that causes the damage in the first place. But I understand how there are some situations where one can't move out. So I'll make a video for those who can't. You can click on the notification bell to get alerted when I post a new video or can check on the channel every now and again. Hope you're doing alright. Hugs.

Thanks. I'll try those tips. I have productive hobbies but i could definitely use a leisurely one.

I want to move out but I have really bad social anxiety and can't find myself going out to reach for a job, in order to move out and earn money. I am as toxic being reliant to my mother needing things but in the end I always feel so exhausted around her. I am almost 18, I need to stop.

@marsdaybreak

Жыл бұрын

I think my anxiety was caused by my parents who did not let me go out often which caused me to have a hard time socializing with others, yet there is a created negative attachment to my mother because she offers / hands out things to me but at the same time is very manipulative.

@IbarraAlejandro

Жыл бұрын

@@marsdaybreak Same omg

@denfolo5224

Жыл бұрын

@@marsdaybreak Did you get a job?

thank you for the help

really helpful & valuable , keep going 👏👊

I don’t know if I’ll label their behaviours as toxic but I’m fed up of it no one understands me my mother talks about all her problems to me and then asks me about what will I do.. and then I have this pressure this stress to make the thing right which is hurting her and then after that there another but whenever it my turn to tell something about how mentally draining this relation is it comes to “okay if you feel like burden I won’t tell you” which again just leads to me making it up to her my siblings don’t understand they don’t a single work they are so insensitive they don’t even have a meal together if they are not asked to and I’m always there to take care of my dad and mom so they favour me more in some situation but then again I’m hit with the “privileged unfair” person and if I try explaining them that both of them just want you guys to be a little affectionate they don’t understand or if they do it’s just 2-3 days and then everything goes to normal. My mom and dad keep talking about them saying they are so insensitive in front of me but I don’t have the guts to bitch about my siblings in front of them so I always just ignore or take my siblings side or just give excuses from their side but then if I get angry if I tell my siblings about it they behave like they don’t know anything it’s so frustration I have my papers and I wanted to go to my relatives house because I don’t feel any pressure there I don’t have to think about who is upset from whom or what should I do for this or that person to not do something the other doesn’t like I can stay freely there I feel calm I feel idk I feel peace but when I told my mom I want to go there she says “then who will take care of me, they both won’t be able to take care of me”(my dads not home) that’s why I can’t go there and some days ago I joked about how there I find more peace and guess what it again turned to “you feel good there why what is here that is not there” and shit just keeps getting big I don’t have a partner I don’t have anyone to tell these things I’m embarrassed to tel this to my friends I told one of them but I don’t feel comfortable with it what do I do I can’t leave my mother like that (she’s ill too) and I can’t bear the insensitive behaviour of my family members ig there’s not solution to this but it felt good to vent it out here I’m just 17 I don’t need to think about all this I’m tired.

@mamta6512

2 жыл бұрын

same man. same

Thank you very much beautiful

Watching this while my mother is screaming at me in the background 🥲👍🏽

Great and helpful thank you!!

My mother made me feel guilty for wanting to eat and drink, both of my parents are toxic and I don't understand how they can be live normally and yet be so toxic with me and my brother.

@AshaJacob

Жыл бұрын

Yikes Catelynn that sounds so awful. Yeah toxic parents can often seem relatively healthy in other aspects of their life. It's just that their view of what their kids represent to them is distorted and often results in painful treatment stemming from their own issues.

I feel guilty when they give me money 🥺 and i can't buy anything i like because i don't want to take it from them 😭

@jeanjacqueslundi3502

7 ай бұрын

I know how you feel. I'm an adult and still need their mney too. But i've decided it's ok to get money from them. It doesn't mean they have power over me. It just means I need the money. It's the least they can give me...seeing as they never gave me anything emotionally. Stay strong and be kind to yourself. This may require a lot of patience...so being your best friend and supporter is key

Hi Asha, I just came across yr tutorials! Oh yes ive many hobbies, for me writing is productive, i know i can hone it to succeed its my gift! And hav a few esc hobbies like sleeping. Wish i dun have to wakr n hear argu tho

@AshaJacob

Жыл бұрын

Love those hobbies! I definitely share that sleeping one with you ;) Ugh, I totally know that feel of waking up to a fight. It's so stress inducing. Try to find a calming routine to prevent it from affecting your day. Mine was listening to music while brewing some coffee.

I cant ever move out, moving out can't be done in my country

Thank you you were so helpful.

@AshaJacob

Жыл бұрын

Aw thanks!

Thank you ❤️✨

Best thing is stay away from toxic people.

Thank you for this video though

My dad’s wife has ruined my entire life. I wished i never met her or her family. She has three little boys and im the only, eldest girl and is 18 going on 19 and i have CRIED soooo much living with them cause of how im always discriminated against and targeted against everyone else. I’ve tried COUNTLESS times to get a job but nyc is really ass when getting hired for jobs. If anyone has any advice for getting a job or roommate in nyc pleeeease help me.

Thank you.

Wow!!!

What can be done if it is not possible to move out?

Good advice 👍🏼

Also forgot to mention she said about hobbies.Oh yes it will definitely divert you from frustrating reality as well.Ocupy the mind is therapy.Then you just have to live with it.These people that we are connected with are highly insecure people.We need to concentrate on are life.

I could have used this as a stay at home daughter!!

My mom used to hit me until I was 15, my father came back from overseas and tried to sexually harassed me. My auntie used to take me to the girl dancing bar, my Martinal uncle tried to sexually harassed me. I am 27 and it still effects me.

@unknownuser4879

Жыл бұрын

Oh my god I'm so sorry I'm living in a very very similar situation rn. How did you survive? I need to pretend as if everything is okay all the time it's draining

@jeanjacqueslundi3502

7 ай бұрын

I'm so sorry :( You got a real hard hand dealt to you, and it's not your fault! Please do everything in your power to be extra kind and compassionate towards yourself. The onlt solution to this sort of trauma and treatment is the opposite...which is a lot of LOVE. I know life can be extremely hard....I'm 37 and stuck with my toxic family....but don't give up on feeling good and, if you can, find someone caring and trustworthy to talk about your situation. If you can't (maybe you are like me and have no money), please just be extra compassionate towards yourself in your moments alone with yourself. It takes a lot of discipline and faith our efforts are not waste.........but giving love to oneself when you've been through such hard times.......is never a waste. Sending you a big hug. I'm so sorry for what has happened/is happening to you. Take care

There is no escape, parents have house,have money,and youngest have nothing,so parents do whatever they want and we can't change that...😐😒

I would like to talk but I am 13 and don’t have any social media because I’m not allowed but I also wouldn’t want my parents to find out is there any other way I can reach you

It's TRUE story am almost choking fro toxic parents problems

@AshaJacob

Жыл бұрын

I'm sorry. I hope you're doing alright.

My dad tried to beat me up today for no reason.

Thanks

My mom lives with me and she’s super toxic and I wish I could get away but it’s my house what can I do 😢

When I create boundaries and don't talk much, my mom be like I'm not talking coz I'm having some mental issues or is thinking about some guy and instills these thoughts into my dad too so he too starts suspecting me

Mäga cool! Thx

My parents use me to pay their bills whenever I have any money so they can continue to waste money on snacks and restaurants, they call it "rent" but the room i take up is treated like their storage unit. Plus they ignore my boundaries, my mother (and sibling) always start verbal fights. Sometimes they even lie about stealing money from me because my money I earned goes missing. What do i do if I can't afford to get out and have no family i can go to?

@AshaJacob

Жыл бұрын

I'm so sorry you're going through this. If you can't move away at the moment, then the only thing you can do is protect your mental health by either implementing boundaries (which they're not going to like), or simply keeping to yourself. Of course, try to sit down with them and reason with them first. To give it a chance and see if they're willing to change their behaviour a bit. Also, please go on walks and find stress relieving activities outside the house!

@thembangwenya7563

11 ай бұрын

I am sorry, i trust you will conquer!

Hey guys, I'm 16 & I'll give my board exam next month. I've a toxic family(mom, dad, bro) who're emotionally abusive. So, I wanna get a scholarship & go abroad. Yep, I'm only allowed to go abroad if I get a full scholarship. & I also wanna go abroad bcz of the society, whatever i don't wanna talk about it right now. But I've some problems. I'm extremely shy, introverted. I've social anxiety, whenever I talk to strangers or people that I'm not extremely closed with, I feel stressed, I feel like if I could escape from there.I thought to go abroad after 18 but things are just kept getting worse. So, what is your opinion on me going abroad? Is it a right decision?

@AshaJacob

Жыл бұрын

Going abroad is a big step and can come with so many life changing experiences! But you must go with a plan, to combat your social anxiety, to step outside of your comfort zone. Otherwise you'd get overwhelmed and withdraw into yourself even more.

@roxii1212

Жыл бұрын

@@AshaJacob yeah, ik but I understood 1 thing which is, if I stay here much longer, I'd be dead from the inside. Plus, I won't also try to go outside, work on my social anxiety & many other things.... So, maybe that one is a better option

@Angelica07984

7 күн бұрын

Girl, we are same. I'm 16, and i have narcissistic abusive mother&father. And we have the same dream. To study abroad. And what all can we do is waiting for 3 years (high school). And it feels hurt to wait, and not knowing what will happen in the future. Like, can i study abroad or not, i don't want to spend my whole life with someone who don't like me

@roxii1212

7 күн бұрын

@@Angelica07984 hey! Haha i forgot that i even wrote that. It's been 1yr since i commented. All i wanna say is, love yourself & be confident in who you are. I think confidence is everything. I have come out of my social anxiety so much, I can now talk to strangers smoothly with confidence. I always used to avoid my teachers, friends, classmates but now whenever I talk to them I talk very smoothly. I used to hate going outside but now I love going outside, even alone. I still have toxic parents but i always loved my mom so much that even if she's toxic towards me, i always care & love her... Oh btw, my family acted too much abusive within this 1yr. But yeah, i've forgiven them, but i won't let them treat me like that so I'm just gonna study more & at least move to another city & if i can, move abroad cuz my average country people are also trashes. It's normal to be toxic as parents in our country & if u r against that, u r the bad child....(sry for the bad English btw) Haha anyway, all iwanna say is, be confident, love the things u do & love studying & seeking knowledge. U r the main character in your reality!!!

How about when your parents live with you.?

(FACTS OVA FEELINGS). Some Children r Growing up in Families were They r Made into Family Problems because Their Family Need to Turn Them into that in order to make their own Terrible marriage seem to work

Did you have like voices talking in the background? Really tripped me out. Made me think I was hearing things.

We should focus more on..How to 'leave' your toxic parents?

Omg I’m so stressed out

What if am only 18 what can i even do. ..

These ppl have issues and demons they are scared of dealing with . They don’t want to grow up . I make they life a living hell too . Only fare

Good

This is so sad thsy wr searchef for it 💔

Me to

I'm 24 my dad has stolen my passport and domicile. I don't know how to move out

@AshaJacob

Жыл бұрын

Please form emotional boundaries and stay detached in the household. Protect yourself and find a way to move out. Hugs.

What if my leisurely hobby is my productive hobby?

@AshaJacob

Жыл бұрын

That's wonderful. I have a completely lazy hobby and a productive one. To each their own :)

3 more years🤘