How to Be Kinder to Ourselves

Many of us have a tendency to be very unkind towards ourselves; made all the more pernicious by the fact that we are not even aware of doing so. To practice greater self-compassion, we need to recognise the forms our self-hatred takes - and where their roots might lie.
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FURTHER READING
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“If there is one generalisation we can hazard of those who end up mentally unwell, we could say that they are masters at being very nasty to themselves without noticing they are even being so.
Release from the grip of self-loathing therefore has to start with a growing awareness of what we are doing to ourselves - and what the alternatives might be. For example, we might start to notice that no sooner has something nice happened to us that we set about wondering when something awful will strike in revenge; that every success has to be ruined by a feeling of foreboding and guilt; that every potentially pleasant day ends up marred by panic or a sense of loss; and that we spontaneously imagine that everyone must hate us and that the worst things are being said about us the moment we leave any room.”
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CREDITS
Produced in collaboration with:
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Пікірлер: 777

  • @cpsaleemyt
    @cpsaleemyt3 жыл бұрын

    Just realize that nobody thinks about you as much as you think about yourself. It is not because nobody cares about you. It is simply that they are also busy thinking about themselves !

  • @leilacalliope1986

    @leilacalliope1986

    3 жыл бұрын

    thank you 🥺💛

  • @waitno1963

    @waitno1963

    3 жыл бұрын

    Well said.

  • @sineadcampbell5147

    @sineadcampbell5147

    3 жыл бұрын

    I think that's where the problem lies with me. I'd like someone to think about me more than themselves for once, like I have done many times over. I'd like to think that one day someone will want to think about what I might want/need/feel before their own self (to a degree). Is that wrong to think that way? Or just part of falling in love?

  • @edithtea9477

    @edithtea9477

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@sineadcampbell5147 I don’t think it’s wrong as long as you are also worrying about them to the same degree. Then that’s love because you are mutually in tune with the other needs. So for instance, you won’t let your partner sacrifice his or her needs all the time for you. Because you care that his or her needs are met too! It’s a balance.

  • @teresajohnson1352

    @teresajohnson1352

    3 жыл бұрын

    Actually, there are plenty of exceptions to that rule: most average mothers think about other far more and first than thi ki g about themselves, even if others do not notice about it...

  • @emannuel8203
    @emannuel82033 жыл бұрын

    Im crying because i'd always treated myself so miserable and so horrible that loving myself seemed impossible. But i've been learnig how to treat me like a friend, supporting and loving me with honesty and safety. Im a human, its impossible to be perfect, i deserve all the love, opportunities and good people that came and will come into my life.

  • @DrakeHDxgaming

    @DrakeHDxgaming

    3 жыл бұрын

    Manifest it my friend and self compassion will derive to your doorstep

  • @citygirlingraham

    @citygirlingraham

    3 жыл бұрын

    Therapy helped me understand why I feel the way I feel. My inner voice is so toxic .

  • @pretenuille5635

    @pretenuille5635

    3 жыл бұрын

    you DO deserve what you say you do. with that thought in mind, you're amazing!

  • @shebalimmugs7896

    @shebalimmugs7896

    3 жыл бұрын

  • @karenkgsh6922

    @karenkgsh6922

    3 жыл бұрын

    🧡🧡🧡🧡

  • @TheSonOfPlato
    @TheSonOfPlato3 жыл бұрын

    “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle that you know nothing about” -Plato

  • @cpsaleemyt

    @cpsaleemyt

    3 жыл бұрын

    We have a saying - Everyone is trying to do their best, as best as they can ! So be kind to everyone , including oneself !

  • @100schlingensief6

    @100schlingensief6

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@comprends2138"wikipedia" okay you're grade is -D

  • @Babsza

    @Babsza

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@comprends2138 Wise words anyway.

  • @BeKindToEveryKind74

    @BeKindToEveryKind74

    3 жыл бұрын

    I used to think that was true. Not I'm not so sure.

  • @TheSonOfPlato

    @TheSonOfPlato

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@BeKindToEveryKind74 what makes you say that?

  • @Gabesssz
    @Gabesssz3 жыл бұрын

    I don't think you guys understand how much I needed to listen to this today.

  • @videogamescausentviolence5717

    @videogamescausentviolence5717

    3 жыл бұрын

    same

  • @chetnasingh2816

    @chetnasingh2816

    3 жыл бұрын

    So there's at least one person who understands.

  • @cayden1314

    @cayden1314

    3 жыл бұрын

    We all do

  • @MukamiWNjeru

    @MukamiWNjeru

    3 жыл бұрын

    There, there.

  • @coolpfpbut9505

    @coolpfpbut9505

    3 жыл бұрын

    You're right I don't

  • @peppymia
    @peppymia3 жыл бұрын

    "People who commit suicide aren't those for whom a few things have gone very wrong. They are people who have encountered some otherwise survivable reversals against a background of fierce self-hatred." - Spot on!

  • @youtubename7819

    @youtubename7819

    3 жыл бұрын

    I gotta say, I very much disagree. For a lot of people it’s not just “a few reversals”- many people have had the experience of being consistently abused their whole life, from their conception until the time they decide to quit. I’m not saying they should kill themselves due to that, just that this video really minimizes and gaslights those individuals whose lives are SO dark that it’s truly not just in their head. These situations sadly aren’t uncommon. To see a realistic example of the ordinariness of this experience, please see the film “welcome to the dollhouse.” Its honestly a great movie with fantastic acting that’s not just a miserable drag for the audience. It shows the plainness of abuse of people you probably didn’t even notice in your life. (Not your fault, of course.) We only find out in a later movie in the same cinematic universe that the first main character actually kills herself between movies, and it’s just quickly brushed aside, because that’s how the character was always treated.

  • @angelacoleman6580

    @angelacoleman6580

    3 жыл бұрын

    wish we could all save those poor souls... they could just as easily be us.

  • @torreygreen6794
    @torreygreen67943 жыл бұрын

    I hate the term self-hatred. It isn't self-hatred, it is internalized negative messages that have become a part of us after years of poor treatment from others.

  • @JustJessee

    @JustJessee

    3 жыл бұрын

    Except for some of us, it really REALLY is self-hatred.

  • @jubbetje4278

    @jubbetje4278

    3 жыл бұрын

    It is anticipation to what you're used to happening

  • @Abraham-gf1oi

    @Abraham-gf1oi

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@JustJessee You missed the entire point of his post

  • @erobinson5134

    @erobinson5134

    3 жыл бұрын

    In turn, we start believing these negatives...

  • @Georgia.J

    @Georgia.J

    3 жыл бұрын

    Sometimes it us self hatred I'm afraid if you can't forgive your own past actions. Although it is often the example you have given too, which is ultimately much worse ad there is zero reason to hate yourself if you have just been a victim of extensive poisonous bullying

  • @trinaq
    @trinaq3 жыл бұрын

    "We accept the love we think we deserve." That's so poignant and true, since many of us are so incapable of loving ourselves, that we end up in toxic relationships. 💔

  • @faythe03

    @faythe03

    3 жыл бұрын

    @Hayden Spencer Definitely too real!

  • @citygirlingraham

    @citygirlingraham

    3 жыл бұрын

    This is a very true statement, I left a marriage because I was being emotionally abused and it was worse than being physically abused. 8 years later I’m still trying to heal from the toxic marriage.

  • @omeimakh6758

    @omeimakh6758

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@citygirlingraham sending you love my dear, I can relate to you and I know how much it takes to heal from emotional abuse, please take good care of yourself and know that you are thought of💛🙏

  • @sumeraginox8117

    @sumeraginox8117

    3 жыл бұрын

    ...or just end up utterly alone.

  • @Summersloth1482

    @Summersloth1482

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@sumeraginox8117 which is better

  • @lolizorz
    @lolizorz3 жыл бұрын

    "When we panic and feel intensely anxious about the future,we need to remember that we are,in essence,worrying about our fundamental legitimacy and lovability.Our survival depends on a swift mastery of the art of self compassion" That's deep.

  • @ellerose9164
    @ellerose91643 жыл бұрын

    That's my motto: if you treat yourself like you would treat your best friend, than you always have a friend with you🥰

  • @elizabethmedeiros7988

    @elizabethmedeiros7988

    3 жыл бұрын

    Thats awesome

  • @1s11

    @1s11

    2 жыл бұрын

    Amazing

  • @homerlol9058
    @homerlol90583 жыл бұрын

    I often feel that, I can only stop my hate for myself once I start living alone. When I have my own space, free of people, of their judgments and perspectives, because I feel a strong obligation to respect theirs and not my own.

  • @frichickenishqua

    @frichickenishqua

    3 жыл бұрын

    I had a tough home life and when I finally moved out for the first time 2 years ago I felt so much self love. I developed rituals of self care and compassion and I was in control of my own thoughts and judgments about myself. It’s very freeing. You’ll get there one day and until then stay strong. ❤️

  • @nabieladrian

    @nabieladrian

    3 жыл бұрын

    I love the fact that when i was only by myself, i no longer need to fight with something outside my being that disguised as part of "myself". Do it once, you would never come back.

  • @CcOo548

    @CcOo548

    3 жыл бұрын

    I feel the same way too, can't wait to start living alone.

  • @rrreakiro

    @rrreakiro

    3 жыл бұрын

    that didn’t work for me i definitely became closer to myself though, got clearer vision as for why i don’t like myself or maybe above accomplishments are just part of adulting, idk

  • @chergosolo5513

    @chergosolo5513

    3 жыл бұрын

    This is actually true. i purposely find a job far away from my family so that i can live alone. I live alone now & have the freedom to do whatever i want without judgment & clear my mind & i started to learn how to love myself. Stay away from housemates & roommates too cos they might be toxic to ur mind. But then make sure u did not live ur life in total isolation without friends etc tho. That might be harmful too.

  • @actuallybusiness1622
    @actuallybusiness16223 жыл бұрын

    *Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday!!*

  • @sanujgoyal622
    @sanujgoyal6223 жыл бұрын

    A bad childhood seriously damaged the ability to love myself. Though I have a long way from absolutely hating myself to learning to listen to crying child within me, but still I have miles to go.

  • @bellewells2099

    @bellewells2099

    3 жыл бұрын

    Take a deep breath be happy with what you have achieved and you can improve!

  • @iolanda04

    @iolanda04

    3 жыл бұрын

    Oh poor baby...💔

  • @maxsupersong

    @maxsupersong

    3 жыл бұрын

    You are not alone here. I had a bad childhood in school. Since then I hate myself. But now I choose to learn to love myself. I know it will be a long journey, but we have to try!

  • @elizabethk3238
    @elizabethk32383 жыл бұрын

    Don't think I am loved much... and that's okay... We are all really alone in the world. I like who I am, in all my imperfections. Took me a long time to get here, but pleased that I have. I'm okay, and that's all I need.

  • @Olivia-zb1vh

    @Olivia-zb1vh

    3 жыл бұрын

    I am so happy to hear that you have come so far and to this realization. I may not know you, but I'm sending you my love and can relate.

  • @andreeadinica1752

    @andreeadinica1752

    3 жыл бұрын

    ily:)

  • @eclecticstatement3479

    @eclecticstatement3479

    3 жыл бұрын

    Can’t wait to get where you are. This is exhausting...

  • @ammoniaburns4846

    @ammoniaburns4846

    3 жыл бұрын

    How did you get here 😔

  • @aurora_boketto7746

    @aurora_boketto7746

    2 жыл бұрын

    I feel the same way sometimes. I love you tho, never stop believing in yourself! You are never worthless or unlovable, I'm truly proud of you for getting there!

  • @tarikay93
    @tarikay933 жыл бұрын

    Being rather judgmental towards myself almost all of my life, after breaking up with my girlfriend I experimented total self-acceptance for a week or two. Whenever I began to criticise something about myself, I produced a counter-thought and said to myself: "that's okay, you are not perfect, but you still deserve the love for yourself". My thinking was that I was trying to love people without even loving myself. And that was slowly crushing me. By the end of the experiment, I was overflowing and glowing with love and Joy. It was incredible. I was only loving others as an extension of my self-love, without stopping. Unfortunately I fell into the same old rut and thought patterns but I saw the impossible turn possible. I will do it again and again and again, until it overtakes my life :) Enjoy life!

  • @KevlarKoat

    @KevlarKoat

    3 жыл бұрын

    Know that increasing your emotional self-awareness reduces the chance of falling in that rut, good luck :) I've read endlessly about how replacing our automatic negative thoughts can make life not just endurable, but wonderful. I wish I had firsthand experience with it, but I don't need it, I believe in it and I'm entrusting my entire future in it

  • @KevlarKoat

    @KevlarKoat

    2 жыл бұрын

    Update: Doing youtube therapy for my abandonment has been life-changing, I've been getting "attacks" of euphoria and self-appreciation I've never felt before, I'm finally starting to love myself. I'm going to commit to doing those negative self-talk counter arguments, I just couldn't believe them at first and had to be convinced by other videos that I was worth it, now I'm ready! Life is getting colorful (dopamine) and my hope is getting stronger. Not being depressed is something I've never really felt before, I'm aware of the fact that It can all come crashing down, but I'm not as afraid of the future which means a lot to me!

  • @DudeOfTheWeek

    @DudeOfTheWeek

    2 жыл бұрын

    @@KevlarKoat I am so happy for you and your progress mate! Would you mind sharing what videos worked for you?

  • @KevlarKoat

    @KevlarKoat

    2 жыл бұрын

    ​@@DudeOfTheWeek Sure! This video cleared up a lot about what to expect on the path Teal is very spiritual but a definite savant about these things kzread.info/dash/bejne/rIV82Jlukcu_dLQ.html Psychotherapy if you lean more towards selflessness kzread.info/dron/J7PZaSv1V6yJbj5y35jp_g.html In depth explanations of everything narcissism kzread.info BTW The best habit you can have is to google what you're stuck on and watch a video on it.

  • @ConorFenlon

    @ConorFenlon

    2 жыл бұрын

    You have no idea how much your comment means to me. I owe you.

  • @Gay-Icon
    @Gay-Icon3 жыл бұрын

    I was talking about this only yesterday. When all you've heard your entire life is 'you're hopeless/a fool/you have no common sense', the act of actually being kind to yourself and treating yourself with the affection and tenderness you didn't receive from your care givers (or others), is completely foreign, if not outrageous. I'm trying. It's something that will take time to master but I know that it is important.

  • @ikeepcoins388

    @ikeepcoins388

    3 жыл бұрын

    Period bro , it's hard to learn in the first place but soon it won't be so foreign.

  • @rosettesionne9139

    @rosettesionne9139

    3 жыл бұрын

    A psychologue once said, "we deserve respect no matter what we do or say and our wrong doings should never be an excuse for others to treat us poorly but to help us learn and grow as a person". I am applying this philosophy. We are human and we are bound to make mistakes wether we like it or not but our mistakes are never free permission for people to abuse us because they are not better than us. If it can help you, each time I experience abuse from others no matter what I do, I ask myself "If you cannot help me learn and grow from my errors then I don't need you in my life period" and I cut them off completely. Criminals when they commit minor crimes have the possibility to be given a second chance in court and judges don't abuse them for their wrong doings why can we not have that right too?

  • @iliveinsideyourhouse3943

    @iliveinsideyourhouse3943

    3 жыл бұрын

    Now, I know why I always hated myself, after years of people treated me likes I'm a complete useless, I treated myself as a complete useless too. But I'm glad I'm in a better company now. I hope everything goes well for those that's have self hating problems.

  • @edenhoneyy

    @edenhoneyy

    3 жыл бұрын

    I feel this too. It hurts to be accepting of the pain we went through and the dialogue we had engrained in our minds

  • @zoraydavieira890

    @zoraydavieira890

    3 жыл бұрын

    I say to those who treat us negatively, shame on them, regardless if they were treated the same way to! We constantly need to grow for the better always...

  • @von_freiesleben64
    @von_freiesleben643 жыл бұрын

    Oh my god who else needed to hear this? Best advice i got in my life: Treat yourself like you are treating a good friend. I would never say those things i say to myself to another person. especially one i care about deeply. So why is it ok for me, even demanded, that i be harsh to myself? no one is saying that, no one else is thinking that. it's just myself. At first i was perplexed by the simpleness and courage of the message. WHAT? IT'S ALLOWED FOR ME TO TREAT ME LIKE THAT? I CAN DO THAT? Wow. Noone ever told me this. Also i found a practical way for dealing with those negative gut emotions, that aren't even full sentences or ideas, but just these feelings that punch you in the gut. Just say, I have no time for you right now, I'm busy doing something i enjoy. And it worked, i thought why is this so easy, and no one ever told me this before? Sure the feeling came again 10 minutes later, but then you say it again. And it stays away little longer until you're able to fully enjoy the moment again. Of course this is not a permanent solution, you can't push those of forever, and you shouldnt. there's conversations to be had about those with yourself, but everything has its time and place. When i'm at a party with my friends and want to enjoy live, self hatred is only gonna ruin that moment for me, so i'll keep that for when i'm on my own. Been a issue my whole life, but i'm finnaly starting to use practical solutions in the moment, and then reflection and self-love when i have the time for it. You don't need to feel every feeling that comes along, you don't have to engage in that. That's not surprassing the emotion, it's not that. it's delaying the conversation to a better time and place. Rant over, I believe i can keep this habit growing, and if i relapse, i just start again.

  • @luciaescartin8738

    @luciaescartin8738

    3 жыл бұрын

    This was lovely and so helpful thank you so much! Good luck on your journey, sending all my love

  • @tracywilliamsliterature
    @tracywilliamsliterature3 жыл бұрын

    That's me in a nutshell... but I am in a process of recovering these days... rewriting the programming I was given in childhood is a monumental task... I didn't even know I had internalized mother's psychotic voice until I was around 35 years old... suicide was one of my obsessions... these days I meditate and talk my fears out... when the compulsion to self torture comes I know where it is coming from... this is no mean feat but I am almost 50 and getting better every day! Best wishes to all of us and thank you for this upload.x

  • @camez2345

    @camez2345

    3 жыл бұрын

    Yay! So glad you found your groove. I have a similar situation, fervently chipping away at it all at 50. It's hard, although the more I stay vigilant and practice, the easier it is to question and discard the horrible, self-defeating thoughts. Constant work, but it's the most important work there is.

  • @presidentxijinpingspoxdoct9756

    @presidentxijinpingspoxdoct9756

    3 жыл бұрын

    @Lilia murah you display the self hatred of a Muslim

  • @mariestella8452
    @mariestella84523 жыл бұрын

    The day i stopped loathing myself, my life got better. I started living and loving life.

  • @carmkizzle
    @carmkizzle3 жыл бұрын

    Not only does the channel itself provide excellent, though-provoking content, but the comment section is always super positive. It really is refreshing💙

  • @ishan599
    @ishan5993 жыл бұрын

    i was thinking about this while brushing my teeth just before

  • @trinaq

    @trinaq

    3 жыл бұрын

    That's true, this channel must be a mind reader!

  • @lisawoodie173

    @lisawoodie173

    3 жыл бұрын

    I've been thinking about this for days. I've been so nasty to myself. So hateful. It's time for us to be kinder. We are our closest friend.

  • @ishan599

    @ishan599

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@lisawoodie173things will turn out okay lisa, keep putting in the work aye!

  • @frndlyxenon1974

    @frndlyxenon1974

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@lisawoodie173 You can do it, lisa! Even if feels fake ..its just the new feeling where we arent our hypercritical selves. Just remember that it is not. You're learning the better way to be with yourself. Sending good vibes your way. :)

  • @havvanurcagatay3102

    @havvanurcagatay3102

    3 жыл бұрын

    Omg exactly the same

  • @millionaireincents1951
    @millionaireincents19513 жыл бұрын

    This is really hard if you grew up with toxic uncaring parents

  • @Nour-mx3uu

    @Nour-mx3uu

    3 жыл бұрын

    So true

  • @lazydawg27

    @lazydawg27

    3 жыл бұрын

    story of my life! little by little I'm progressing in loving myself

  • @mikegraham9095

    @mikegraham9095

    2 жыл бұрын

    This one hit me right here. I still to this day as a 23 year old experience my toxic parents. My father is always angry and negative bringing me down. It’s terrible for my mental and his anger is starting to rub off on me. I hope to some day finally be free of these negative and self hating thoughts. For now I don’t truly love myself

  • @amanyrana6900
    @amanyrana69003 жыл бұрын

    Something that lead me to self love was compassion for my younger self. How strong and lovable I have been all along, to realise and accept this. To become a friend of my own at last. And then your world changes once you see yourself as a friend.

  • @taabishkhanself-improvemen7331
    @taabishkhanself-improvemen73313 жыл бұрын

    *"You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending"* Love from a small channel 💙

  • @saraklondon

    @saraklondon

    3 жыл бұрын

    A great reminder, thanks Taabish. Small but awesome channel, l appreciated the break down video. It's good to see males focusing on personal development 🙌

  • @liubov6750
    @liubov67503 жыл бұрын

    It really works when you stop devouring yourself your life gets better. The most difficult part is to recognize that you ve been hurting yourself all the time and you need to STOP. Meditation helps here too

  • @StarlightShooting
    @StarlightShooting3 жыл бұрын

    "There is nothing inevitable about self-hatred." That hit deep.

  • @euchrideucrow1970
    @euchrideucrow19702 жыл бұрын

    The hardest work I’ve ever done was finding my way out of self loathing. It continues to be a daily battle, and probably will be for my whole life. That demon doesn’t vanish, it keeps growing back, the dark ivy of the psyche. But it is wonderful to be in the battle, to think myself worthy of fighting back.

  • @kevo45601

    @kevo45601

    Ай бұрын

    can you throw me some other materials you are using in this battle?

  • @TakeBackYourMind997
    @TakeBackYourMind9973 жыл бұрын

    Thoughts are created through a whole cocktail of influences and then presented to your mind, most of us just accept what's presented to us. But the truth is, you are the final authority when it comes to your thoughts. You get to decide whether you believe them or not, whether you give them attention or just neutrally observe them as they enter and leave your mind. You design your inner world, make it a nice place to be!

  • @coolpfpbut9505

    @coolpfpbut9505

    3 жыл бұрын

    I'll try my best

  • @TakeBackYourMind997

    @TakeBackYourMind997

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@coolpfpbut9505 Hope it goes well for you:)

  • @citygirlingraham

    @citygirlingraham

    3 жыл бұрын

    Omg, your awesome, thanks for this....

  • @TakeBackYourMind997

    @TakeBackYourMind997

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@citygirlingraham You're welcome! glad to help 🙂

  • @kevo45601

    @kevo45601

    Ай бұрын

    any further material or videos you could throw our way to help in this further endeavor?

  • @RicardoJPosada
    @RicardoJPosada3 жыл бұрын

    After a bad breakup I needed this, time to be nice to myself.

  • @bernardofitzpatrick5403

    @bernardofitzpatrick5403

    3 жыл бұрын

    Hang in there bro

  • @EclecticTingz

    @EclecticTingz

    3 жыл бұрын

    💕🤙🏽

  • @lllimn

    @lllimn

    3 жыл бұрын

    That's cool. But don't wait until anything bad happen to love yourself. Love yourself in every moments of your life. May you be happy all your life❤

  • @michaelnguyen3159

    @michaelnguyen3159

    3 жыл бұрын

    Same here

  • @LitKritKitchen
    @LitKritKitchen3 жыл бұрын

    It’s so crazy and wild because no one realizes that at the end of the day, your in a relationship with yourself before anything else and in order to thrive healthy, mentally and physically, you need to treat yourself and trust yourself, even if you don’t believe it, everything truly starts within and we are our worst enemies.

  • @nin9740
    @nin97403 жыл бұрын

    I've been suffering from my mental illness since I was a kid, and now I removed all my social medias for the betterment for myself. But in my mind I can't help but to think how my friends think I'm selfish and stuff like that. Good thing I saw this vid, a great reminder to be more kinder and make me feel human.

  • @jarcau_vegan
    @jarcau_vegan3 жыл бұрын

    Whatever you feel, think, say or do, you always deserve more love, not less. ~Matt Kahn

  • @Cproductions1319
    @Cproductions1319Ай бұрын

    Self hatred was the reason I killed myself a long time ago. I was found on the freeway in a motorcycle wreck and broke every bone possible. The school of life came into my life in a very dark time and vulnerable while recovering and not only healing the body but healing my mind. That was in 2018 . Today is a different day to do better and take it one day at a time . Thank you school of life for the many videos I’ve watched and learned from ❤

  • @Tavs_Tarot
    @Tavs_Tarot Жыл бұрын

    I cant be kind to myself when all I do is procrastinate, fail to pay attention, no one wants to be around me, everyone cancels on my plans, I did terribly in school, for being introverted and weird, having trichotillomania and having to look like an alien, when I'm not making progress towards my career, when I still cant drive, when still can't make the money I want to make, and the fact that I cant get my self to do things I want to do because I'm so tired!!! I dont understand how self love is gonna fix any of this! I dont see how acceptance is going to CHANGE any of this. I dont want to let myself off the hook I want to punish myself until I do what it is that need to be done!

  • @teahgurl
    @teahgurl Жыл бұрын

    I burst out crying bc I am Not kind to myself bc most of my life, people were not kind to me.

  • @Ankochan200
    @Ankochan2002 жыл бұрын

    This made me cry when my therapist told me I needed to have patient with myself. Self love. It’s hard sometimes and sometimes I forget but then I remember.

  • @myosotismalva
    @myosotismalva3 жыл бұрын

    My on-going battle with eating disorder is result of self-hatred 😕

  • @anio3141

    @anio3141

    3 жыл бұрын

    I believe you are strong and I have faith in a healthy life for you 💗 you matter ! A lot.

  • @dublewr2194

    @dublewr2194

    3 жыл бұрын

    Its ok, your awareness is a good signal u’re on ur way to self love..🧡💛💚

  • @dorio345
    @dorio3452 жыл бұрын

    I think I find some sort of comfort in hating my self. It’s like that inner me that hate me is my best friend.

  • @modlsuper
    @modlsuper3 жыл бұрын

    Love yourself protect yourself, give yourself and take care of yourself ❤️

  • @amyj.4992
    @amyj.49922 жыл бұрын

    I love gardening, while listening to music every hump day and weekend. It's so therapeutic. Self awareness, heals so radically. Relatable

  • @fattidiliberta
    @fattidiliberta3 жыл бұрын

    easier said than done.... even through many self awareness and minfulness routine 'trainings' , therapy etc etc i cannot ignore nor redirect nor usually separate myself from my self-loathing...

  • @valerieinnyc4719
    @valerieinnyc47193 жыл бұрын

    That’s the bigger learning I got from working with therapists: be your own best friend! By learning to be patient, kind and loving to myself, the rest followed... everyone should learn this lesson as early as possible 💕

  • @Leo-mr1qz
    @Leo-mr1qz3 жыл бұрын

    Self Compasion- The ability & practice of holding yourself amidst faliure, disappointed, & suffering of any kind. In the face of these life contractions, to still be able to offer yourself love and kindness ❤

  • @wimwiddershins
    @wimwiddershins3 жыл бұрын

    It's helpful to become skilled at identifying and questioning negative self-talk. Appending "...that is not true!" To the end of hurtful internal dialogue is a good starting point.

  • @Unknown-sg4tv
    @Unknown-sg4tv3 жыл бұрын

    You are equal and deserve love and respect exactly like everyone else.

  • @taabishkhanself-improvemen7331
    @taabishkhanself-improvemen73313 жыл бұрын

    A big thank you from all of us to the School of Life who have been able to teach us more about personal development than our actual schools could. 💙 Love from a small channel

  • @0o0Anyuna0o0
    @0o0Anyuna0o03 жыл бұрын

    It's harder when you're despair over life circumstances as well as hating yourself from something in the past. It really reinforces the negative thoughts & attitudes.

  • @nttthao
    @nttthao3 жыл бұрын

    "When we panic and feel intensely anxious about the future, we need to remember that we are in essence worrying about our fundamental legitimacy and lovability. Our survival depends on a swift mastery of the art of self-compassion."

  • @bishamon9994
    @bishamon99943 жыл бұрын

    it's easier to forgive others than to forgive ourselves, this video came just at the right time. what we most need is to be compassionate towards ourselves and understand that we are not defined by what others say about us, but are defined by what we think about ourselves.

  • @justpelumii9986
    @justpelumii99863 жыл бұрын

    I think we live in a messed up/ toxic society that causes us to feel low about ourselves or judged based on certain standards because if these standards weren't there would we still think the same? The society reflects on us sometimes and it's best to love and accept ourselves because that's what truly matters at the end of the day

  • @sandra8991
    @sandra89913 жыл бұрын

    Thank you for giving me an answer I was looking for. I cut contact with all my family members who are toxic. And I learned to walk away from toxic people in general. But I feel threatened by them. Cause they treat me as poorly as I probably still think about myself. That is probably the reason it hits so hard and makes me feel so helpless. As more I learn to be kind to myself the less others abuse will effect me 😍 Now I'm even getting more excited about loving myself. It's not only protection. It is like feeling superwoman 💗

  • @payalk2898
    @payalk28988 ай бұрын

    Panic and disliking myself is what I learned and I can unlearn it. You are not doing anything wrong. Remember, life is a bunch of trial and errors. Be aware of your thoughts. I not only like myself, I LOVE MYSELF

  • @ForteExpresso
    @ForteExpresso3 жыл бұрын

    My real school prepared me for academics School of Life is preparing me to enjoy life effectively

  • @dylanpetrucelli4352
    @dylanpetrucelli43523 ай бұрын

    I’ve treated myself so poorly and it led me to treat others poorly, it got so bad my gf left me while I was at work. I’m here now to try and be kind to myself again and so that I may be kind to others and not hurt them the same way as I hurt her.

  • @Team_Slacker
    @Team_Slacker3 жыл бұрын

    When the world lower our self-esteem and give us full of self-doubts, till then should we understand ourselves better knowing that how much the world hated itself due to its own negativity.

  • @alexandralydia4362
    @alexandralydia43623 жыл бұрын

    Be kind to others and thyself ✌🏻❤️✨

  • @snehasimon9044
    @snehasimon90447 ай бұрын

    After 23 years of living, I caught myself yesterday, criticizing myself for simply being me. I am sensitive, and that is who I am. I realized that I beat myself up for being sensitive. Even though being sensitive is what makes me. I realized I would never say the things I say to myself to others. I deserve my own kindness.

  • @jordanobinna5593
    @jordanobinna55933 жыл бұрын

    this channel is hands down one of the best on youtube.

  • @qsm
    @qsm3 жыл бұрын

    *how to not cry every day and don’t feel the emptiness ever growing*

  • @trinaq

    @trinaq

    3 жыл бұрын

    The hardest person to love is yourself, but it's tough when you have to spend your entire life with yourself. Things can get better, and I'm sending lots of love your way! 😘❤️

  • @qsm

    @qsm

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@trinaq thank you for your kind words, wish someone could just hug everyday and tell me that “things will get better, i’m here.” but yes, i am struggling in self love a lot

  • @yayangjunitasari1900

    @yayangjunitasari1900

    3 жыл бұрын

    Sending virtual hug❤

  • @danejorgensen4553

    @danejorgensen4553

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@yayangjunitasari1900 can we get a qasim, things get better❤️ chain?

  • @yayangjunitasari1900

    @yayangjunitasari1900

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@danejorgensen4553 of course...

  • @midnite22767
    @midnite227673 жыл бұрын

    Maybe one of the most eloquent and beautifully expressed videos I've ever seen, thank you.

  • @rach101
    @rach1012 жыл бұрын

    I have been so hard on myself lately, I can’t help feel depressed, it’s so exhausting that your own mind is making you so sad.

  • @Onetruemilo
    @Onetruemilo2 жыл бұрын

    I hope you know this channel has probably saved lives,.you're all very empathetic and are careful with your words, you all deserve the world

  • @abigase135
    @abigase1353 жыл бұрын

    This hit HARD! I needed to watch this and it's true, that self hatred is leftovers from how someone treated us. Thank you, this really helped.

  • @thrinnytejeda3630
    @thrinnytejeda36303 жыл бұрын

    I’m a mother of 4, learning to heal now as an adult, I’m so thankful to have gotten the possibility of listening to this short video, no words can express..... thank you.

  • @suenorwood-evans9724

    @suenorwood-evans9724

    Жыл бұрын

    The best gift we can give to our children is a healed - or healing- mother!

  • @ladyyyyyy4630
    @ladyyyyyy46303 жыл бұрын

    This is exactly what I need right now.. thank you so much. I hope I will be kinder to myself from now on

  • @kdrhlbby
    @kdrhlbby3 жыл бұрын

    i was thinking about this and i thought wow i hate myself. but then you guys uploaded this video 😭😭😭 thank you so much. 💗

  • @nekesa6429
    @nekesa64293 ай бұрын

    i honestly rlly needed this. i’ve been struggling with my body image and ive been going to the gym lately and eating healthier trying to be the best version of myself but still feel myself knocking myself down everyday.

  • @martinledezma7423
    @martinledezma74233 жыл бұрын

    Wow! The School of Life always reads my mind! I have been dealing with my inner voices for some time originated out of other's behaviors towards me. This really has helped me this morning to begin my day with compassion to myself 😌

  • @user-ze4di8kz2v
    @user-ze4di8kz2v3 жыл бұрын

    Your videos make me feel better

  • @smritirai7185
    @smritirai71853 жыл бұрын

    Thank you for reminding us that we are all a work in progress. It takes a lot of time and patience to heal from the hurt we experienced as a child. While I have the most lovable parents I grew with my aunt and uncle who had 4 children of their own. Never once did they care for me. Takes some strength to recover from being ignored, criticised and abused all through my growing years.

  • @ahmedfadl4492
    @ahmedfadl44923 жыл бұрын

    This kind of videos I need to watch every morning... Thanks a lot guys ... I really needed it All the love there is

  • @Ayesha______
    @Ayesha______3 жыл бұрын

    This video so perfectly summed up my life in a little under 5 minutes. From the cause in my case, intense bullying (at first physical and then emotional bullying) to the suicidal ideation. It is so accurate, it hurts.

  • @oscarruiz1799

    @oscarruiz1799

    3 жыл бұрын

    I was bullied heavy too bro, glad to see I'm not the only one

  • @sandra8991

    @sandra8991

    3 жыл бұрын

    Hug you 🌸

  • @Ayesha______

    @Ayesha______

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@oscarruiz1799 I'm sorry to hear that. what I'm wondering is whether it can count as trauma

  • @asiaclifford1546

    @asiaclifford1546

    3 жыл бұрын

    ^ It for sure does. Hope you guys are around better people now. It took me leaving high school to realize the world is full of much kinder people

  • @oscarruiz1799

    @oscarruiz1799

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@Ayesha______ It made me feel that what I had to say didn't matter, that my interests where shit and that I was weak, so it is some form of trauma, you are beautiful my man, I'm positive you are a great person to have around and I would consider myself lucky if I had you as a friend

  • @insidejaysskull
    @insidejaysskull3 жыл бұрын

    Wow, very accurate description. Mental health is a constant effort, that I have learned personally. Be kind to yourself, life can be challenging.

  • @Dennnis10B
    @Dennnis10B3 жыл бұрын

    Thank you for the simplicity that no other video could accomplish...DB.

  • @MrEyadashraf
    @MrEyadashraf2 жыл бұрын

    I saved this video to watch later, and didn't watch since, but actually I watched it now at the time I needed it the most, thanks for making this video it got me out of the negative state I was in.

  • @lescreasjadoreca8581
    @lescreasjadoreca85813 жыл бұрын

    This hit a little too close to home. Thank you thank you thank you school of life for your videos. I am sure they are saving people around the world

  • @anthonyrossmaund3161
    @anthonyrossmaund31613 жыл бұрын

    Im always putting myself down with negative self talk. It's one of my biggest hurtles in life. I'm always doing this self help videos to fix myself. Thanks for the help...

  • @guzmaynard8768
    @guzmaynard87682 жыл бұрын

    I love your voice, it is clear and gentle and feels kind, just right for very emotional topics that you cover. Bravo, good skills x

  • @drinasun6984
    @drinasun69842 жыл бұрын

    We must not say no to ourselves. Sometimes being selfless gets to the point where people start taking advantage of our kindness and using our good nature against us.

  • @magicalpatterns
    @magicalpatterns3 жыл бұрын

    I got this gift today when I was struggling with depression due to chronic illness. I’m so grateful I found this channel.

  • @mysticalmane3931
    @mysticalmane39313 жыл бұрын

    Your videos help so many people. Thank you!

  • @damarislawrence7736
    @damarislawrence77363 жыл бұрын

    Thanks for this video, which really helps me a lot during the preparation for the graduate entrance examination. Thanks for reminding me how important it is to embrace every part of me and celebrate it.

  • @JayDaddy420
    @JayDaddy4203 жыл бұрын

    Who knew the mind was so complex. Thank you guys you have helped me through a lot these past few months

  • @adricm09
    @adricm093 жыл бұрын

    how does this channel manage to post a video at the right moment that I need it? Thanks people

  • @RudyGold
    @RudyGold3 жыл бұрын

    This is 💯 facts. Thank you. I needed to hear this. I’m a survivor of negative thinking and self hatred.

  • @MissJoy16
    @MissJoy162 ай бұрын

    Thank you so much ❤️

  • @miaumiau8918
    @miaumiau89183 жыл бұрын

    I got so lost in the animation I couldn't focus on what's being said. It's so beautiful

  • @zouling12
    @zouling123 жыл бұрын

    Always on point and always what I need in the moment! ♥️

  • @somebicycle6684
    @somebicycle6684 Жыл бұрын

    I cannot emphasize how important this video is

  • @avantikaphuyal6793
    @avantikaphuyal6793 Жыл бұрын

    3:42 we are unkind to ourselves because people were in the past not especially kind to us and we are touchingly yet dangerously loyal to their philosophies of derision. 😳

  • @saraha5320
    @saraha53203 жыл бұрын

    I love this channel so much. Thank you so much for doing what you do. ❤

  • @user-ex6uk6ye3o
    @user-ex6uk6ye3o2 жыл бұрын

    I'm crying 😭 it's so true thank you for this 😭🖤

  • @blackthatha6960
    @blackthatha69603 жыл бұрын

    This was a punch in the face. Thank you, I needed it.

  • @BBoy-te1cb
    @BBoy-te1cbАй бұрын

    Just wanna say thanks for making these. I’m working on myself lately and these videos popped up at an excellent time

  • @DSwecker
    @DSwecker Жыл бұрын

    thank you so much for this. you are saving lives

  • @pollygong
    @pollygong3 жыл бұрын

    This was very helpful for dealing with my own personal struggles. Thank you for sharing this video.

  • @Miihalina
    @Miihalina3 жыл бұрын

    what a perfect timing

  • @siddhantpandey2000
    @siddhantpandey20003 жыл бұрын

    School of Life taught me 10× more than my School ever could.

  • @Mybigsissy
    @Mybigsissy2 жыл бұрын

    Oh how beautiful is the voice that narrates!

  • @habibasalem8809
    @habibasalem88093 жыл бұрын

    This brought tears to my eyes

  • @pshycopaul
    @pshycopaul3 жыл бұрын

    This episode really resonates with me and couldn't have dropped at a more perfect time.. Inspired me to invest in the audio book too! Also tweeted and shared with those I feel maybe need this, thanks!