Funniest Technology Stand Up Comedy Jokes | Jim Gaffigan
Ойын-сауық
Here are my funniest standup comedy jokes about technology. Starting with my dad leaving messages on my answering machine all the way to Chinese toilets! Enjoy!
PALE TOURIST is NOW streaming on Amazon.
:00 - Answering Machine
:36 - Leaving Voice Messages
:58 - Email
2:14 - Spell Check
3:05 - Remote Control
4:03 - Escalator & Moving Sidewalk
7:13 - Digital Photos
9:29 - Cord Cutters
10:20 - Landline
11:46 - Elevators
12:32 - Talking on the Phone
13:11 - Japanese Toilet
13:59 - Chinese Toilet
BEST of / FUNNIEST COMPILATION
Animals bit.ly/AnimalsCompilation
Fast Food bit.ly/FastFoodCompilation
Jesus bit.ly/JesusComp
Clothing bit.ly/JGClothingCompilation
Donuts bit.ly/JGDonuts
Stores bit.ly/JGStores
Catholic bit.ly/JGCatholic
Drinking • Best DRINKING Jokes | ...
Disney • Best Disney World Joke...
Japan • Best Japan Jokes | Jim...
Fish • The FUNNIEST Fish Joke...
Cheese • Best Cheese Jokes | Ji...
Heaven & Hell • Funniest Heaven and He...
TV • Best Watching TV Jokes...
Desserts • Funniest Dessert Stand...
Holidays • Best Holiday Jokes 202...
Birthdays • Funniest Stand-up Birt...
OUR MASSIVE PLANET • Jim Gaffigan "OUR MAS...
HEALTHY & HAPPY Gardening
INTRO bit.ly/HappyandHealthy1
CORN bit.ly/HappyandHealthyCorn
THE PALE TOURIST
Asian American (Full Set) bit.ly/JGAsianAmerican
Florida Man (Full Set) bit.ly/JGFloridaMan
Ontario vs Quebec bit.ly/JGOntario
Superstitions bit.ly/JGSuperstition
Tourists bit.ly/JGTourist
Halifax Donair bit.ly/JGDonair
Rodeo bit.ly/JGRodeo
Drake Story bit.ly/JGDrake
QUALITY TIME
Marathons bit.ly/JGMarathons
Horses bit.ly/JGHorses
Appendix bit.ly/JGAppendix
Museums bit.ly/JGMuseum
NOBLE APE
My Wife's Brain Tumor bit.ly/JGBrainTumor
Massages bit.ly/JGMassage
Pope bit.ly/JGPope
UK vs US bit.ly/JGUSAvCanada
CINCO
Morning Person bit.ly/JGMorning
Steak is Manly bit.ly/JGSteak
Hiking bit.ly/JGHiking
Idiot Abroad bit.ly/JGIdiotAbroad
Easier to be a Guy bit.ly/JGBeaGuy
Big Family bit.ly/JGBigFamily
OBSESSED
Weddings bit.ly/JGWeddingsyay
Victoria's Secret bit.ly/JGSecret
Can't Stop Eating bit.ly/JGstopeating
MR. UNIVERSE
Vitamins bit.ly/JGVitamins
Whales bit.ly/JGWhales
Fitness Goals bit.ly/JGFitnessGoals
Home Birth bit.ly/JGHomebirth
Big Family bit.ly/3a6HW0L
KING BABY
Camping bit.ly/JGCamping
Bacon bit.ly/JGBacon
BEYOND THE PALE
Hot Pockets bit.ly/JGHotPocket
Doing Nothing bit.ly/JGDoingNothing
Out To Dinner bit.ly/JGOutToDinner
Cake bit.ly/JGCakes
Vegetarian bit.ly/JGVegetarian
SUPER OLD
Manatee bit.ly/JGManatee
Glasses bit.ly/JGGLasses
MERCH Proceeds donated to ThelmagineSociety.org tinyurl.com/y5fwmpb2
LETS GET COOKIN' World’s Favorite Quarantine Cooking Show
Toast bit.ly/JGToast
Burger bit.ly/JGBurger
Pork bit.ly/JGPork
Hotdog & Eggs bit.ly/JGHotDogs
Pizza bit.ly/JGPizzaLGC
Hot Dog Fest bit.ly/JGHotDogFest
Meatball Parm bit.ly/JGMeatball
Peas & Corn bit.ly/JGPeasandCorn
Mikey Takes Over bit.ly/JGMikey
Oatmeal Soup bit.ly/JGOatmeal
Chicken Fillet bit.ly/JGChickenFilet
Bacon Wrapped Steaks bit.ly/JGBaconWrapped
THE MIKE & PAT SHOW: (next Pewdiepie or Roblox addicts challenge)
Daddy Dog bit.ly/JGDaddyDog
Hot Pocket bit.ly/JGMPHotPocket
Spaghettios bit.ly/JGSPaghettios
Liverwurst bit.ly/JGLiverwust
Twinkies bit.ly/JGTwinkies
Vegemite bit.ly/JGVegimite
Garden Veggies • Eating from Jim Gaffig...
My Kids React my 1st Stand Up TV Spot • "MY KIDS REACT: To My ...
My Kids React my 1st 1/2 hr Special • "MY KIDS REACT: To My ...
DINNER WITH THE GAFFIGANS nightly 6pm E. Watch past episodes click JOIN & become MEMBER. Fee (99 cents) donated to TheImagineSociety.org.
JIM EATS THE WORLD (mukbang asmr local food)
St.Louis Pizza bit.ly/JimEatsTheWorld
KC BBQ bit.ly/JGKCBBQ
Garbage Plate bit.ly/JGGarbagePlate
Polish Boy bit.ly/JGPolishboy
Colombia bit.ly/JGColombia
Paella bit.ly/JGPaella
PALE FORCE
Season 1 tinyurl.com/yxzyk5ws
Season 2 • Pale Force Season 2 (A...
CORONAVIRUS LIFE (Try not to laugh+ CBS SUNDAY)
Welcome to Quarantine • “Greetings from Quaran...
My Kids Ask Covid-19 • "MY KIDS ASK: About CO...
Pandemic CBS Sunday Morning Mega Compilation • Jim Gaffigan CBS Sunda...
Jim Gaffigan is an American stand-up comedian, actor, writer and producer. He presently has 5 stand up specials on Netflix and 3 on Amazon Prime Video. He wrote 2 New York Times Best Sellers DAD IS FAT and FOOD: A Love Story
TEXT JIM 646-980-6600
Пікірлер: 509
Jim Gaffigan. If you see this, you are my hero. I have listened to you every night for 3 years now. You have helped me with stress and anxiety. Thank you so much for being you!
@ellonysman
10 ай бұрын
I agree...best discovery I've ever found on the internet...President Gaffigan😮
@rebeccalincoln9004
10 ай бұрын
'Laugh again with Gaffigan"
@originsofthesoul929
9 ай бұрын
Me, too! I listen before bed to laugh and let the stress of the day go.
Jim and his wife have fined tuned his performance to the point of complete genius! So funny!!
@user-sn6tg4nh1y
2 жыл бұрын
Hello Brenda how are you doing today How's everything going?
@ellonysman
9 ай бұрын
They are geniusez
Landline is helpful to make my cellphone ring to locate it when i lost it somewhere in my home
@silverstrike6048
3 жыл бұрын
EXACTLY!
@Myrddnn
3 жыл бұрын
With textnow, you could do it from your computer, if you have one.
@marioStortuga
3 жыл бұрын
If you have alexa or Google home you can just say ring my phone for the ultra lazy 😁
@VirgiMacG
3 жыл бұрын
🤣
3 жыл бұрын
What happens when you misplace your landline phone?
Clean comedians are always the best.
Escalators are one the few machines that are still functional even when it's broke down.
@triedandtrue142
3 жыл бұрын
Also a carving knife:)
@mudmudmudmudmud7605
2 жыл бұрын
Mitch Hedberg had a joke about escalators that are broke. The end is "thank you for the convenience"
He still makes me laugh......I think he and Jeanie should get a medal of honor for this contribution to American sanity during the 2020 insanity event....
@maenad1231
Жыл бұрын
Jim’s uploads were truly the only thing keeping me sane back when quarantine was mandated
@screechingwind114
Жыл бұрын
I Love Jim and his Family 🤍💙🤍
I grew up with Jim. He's always been funny but as I look back, he's one of the best ever to do it
@chiendinh-je2xi
9 ай бұрын
Jim is also very intelligent too
Yes, I agree, I don’t feel the pain while watching Jim. He’s been a great friend! He gives solace during this awful year. I lost my father 5 months ago and Jim gives a break from the beginning grief
@carefulpilgrim
2 жыл бұрын
May the Lord comfort you in your loss.
@dorothysittler7370
2 жыл бұрын
My Mom, uncle, aunt passed since January last year. No closure because of COVID....I feel your pain.
@nursecathy123cat
11 ай бұрын
@@dorothysittler7370❤😢
💕 I so miss my mom calling me daily 💕. Mom would leave me a message as if we were having a conversation if I missed one call 😚. Mom was in her 80's. Miss you Mom!!! 😕
@jake90770
3 жыл бұрын
My mom does the same 😁 she old school
@ginatucci201
3 жыл бұрын
My dad did too! He was lucky to get out of 2020 in Sept💔💓
@swgforthefence
3 жыл бұрын
@@ginatucci201 I am so sorry for your loss. 💕💕💕 I got your reply right away. I was awake. Guardian angels are great. Dad will watch over ya. 💕💕💕
@jaxbchjim
3 жыл бұрын
My mom would end each voicemail as if signing a letter: Bye, Mom As if I wouldn’t know it was her 😅
@StupiderWithAB
3 жыл бұрын
I enjoy the stupidity. Almost as much as i enjoy the stupidity of my stupid comedy videos. Weird. 😶
The lost remote control when you haven’t moved 😂 …Guilty 🤣
When the escalator broke and he yelled, "I'm trapped!! Help!" I choked on my food.
"I wanna hear your voice.. daddy" "Then buy my album"
Ive watched at least 1 jim gaffigan bit practicly evrey day in quarentine
@blackneos940
3 жыл бұрын
You are the hero we don't deserve, but you ARE the hero we need.
Jim and Brian Regan are 2 of the best comedians ever.
@redwingsfan3621
2 жыл бұрын
My two favs for sure!
@effyoo6081
2 жыл бұрын
Hot pockets are delicious! Take luck!
@bman6502
2 жыл бұрын
They both prove you can be funny without swearing and being offensive
@Gray-Wolf
Жыл бұрын
@@bman6502 Takes a lot of talent to do that
@_Gizmos_
Жыл бұрын
My 2 favs of all time
Thanks for the incredible laughs. Discovered your stand up on Sirius and found your KZread channel. You have surpassed every comedian before you, literally. Clean jokes that l can actually relate to everything you say. Lol. Thanks man.
This just became my new daily dose of serotonin.
@gj6645
3 жыл бұрын
Mine too
@markdemell3717
3 жыл бұрын
@@gj6645 Yeah ,I know.
@StupiderWithAB
3 жыл бұрын
I enjoy the stupidity. Almost as much as i enjoy the stupidity of my stupid comedy videos. Weird. 😶
@catharineorellana3522
3 жыл бұрын
@@gj6645 ምን ማለት ነው?
@cherriaydelotte8327
3 жыл бұрын
Definitely!!!!!! He is so hilarious and down to earth 😁 It makes my day🤗 Gotta have my Gaffegan Fix🤣🤣😁!!!!!!
Hey Jim. Thanks for keeping us all entertained during crazy 2020.
@addisonelly6611
3 жыл бұрын
Well it’s a good thing we’re now in 2021! Hopefully all this crazyness will be over!
@vanfillofrubbish7728
3 жыл бұрын
He's not reading these moron ( and in total fairness I just forgot how to spell moron and had to use voice command) my point still stands idiot. Have a blessed day im a christian 🙏
@THINJIMI
3 жыл бұрын
@@vanfillofrubbish7728 - The other day I forgot what Alzheimers was called...lol.
@jacquelineritter3456
2 жыл бұрын
@@addisonelly6611 watching in 2022.
@amyalexander8256
Жыл бұрын
@@jacquelineritter3456 its 2023 now still not all the way over getting better tho
"You leave a Japanese bathroom cleaner than when you went in. You leave an American bathroom with PTSD." 😂!
@Fourtondragon
Жыл бұрын
Jim said “restroom” :) He’s so polite, lol
@francescalegrand4520
Жыл бұрын
Wednesday !!
Thank you for doing this Jim, you bring a light in these dim times.
Thanks for all you do for our country and each citizen 😘. I love your comedy. It's my favorite. Know what we all are going through during 2020 . Laughter is addictive !!!
Jim, thank you so much for always putting a smile on my face and making realize I’m not alone in this crazy world.
Great work Jim! Thanks for keeping everyone laughing!
@user-sn6tg4nh1y
2 жыл бұрын
Hello dear how are you doing today How's everything going
"I gotta get spell check for this pen"lol. Jim kills me😂😂😂
I can only listen to him for a little while, d/t I CAN"T STOP LAUGHING!!!! When I am found dead in bed Jim did it, with a smile on my face. Thank You Jim and your wife keep the laughter coming. Stay healthy.
Thank you for your work.
The Escalator looks down upon the Stairs. You’re nothing more than an organized hill 🤣😂🤣
@AnnaPxx
3 жыл бұрын
😅👍🏼
@jackedkerouac4414
3 жыл бұрын
Lol that’s killer
OMGoodness he kills me. Jim's the best hands down
"I wish I could take a low quality photo of my dessert and text it to someone who's not interested."😂😂😂
@amandajensen3382
3 жыл бұрын
To be fair, the camera in my phone is much better quality than the digital camera I had ten years ago.
@PhoenixProdLLC
3 жыл бұрын
@@amandajensen3382 True, but to me it's still a case of trivializing somebody else's time by sending them pictures of your lunch, unasked for.
@StupiderWithAB
3 жыл бұрын
I enjoy the stupidity. Almost as much as i enjoy the stupidity of my stupid comedy videos. Weird. 😶
Hey there Jim thanks for the entertainment. We need a chance to unwind and free the mind.
I already hit the like, Jim Gaffigan never fails to make me lol
@MacynBecca
3 жыл бұрын
Me too!!
Thank you for making my days so much better
Bwahahahaaaaaa!!! I just love this man... Platonically...
“…. Did you bring a canoe? Cuz there’s a river.” I went into hysterics hearing this! Thank you!!!!
«Stairs are just organized hills». I hope you realize how genius this observation is.
@carolecook1116
3 жыл бұрын
Yes! Brilliant! Also liked, "I need spell check for this pen."
God loves you guys!
“Casket on a string” 😂😂😂😂
The joke about a remote for his phone has been answered with Alexa. When we were kids we predicted flying cars. I guess when thinking about future technologies, should’ve considered how much people wanted to be lazy. 😆
the entire escalator bit is gold 👏👏
Jim, how can you be so funny? Your the greatest! Thanks
I'm a father of 5 and in my late 40's, I feel like every joke he makes is about my life.
I loved these tech jokes. Thanks for my daily video.
" Its like having a dead butler.." 😄
More Jim Gaffigan…and there is already lots out there!
Jim doesn’t know what he’s missing out on. Conquering a long flight of stairs makes you feel like you defeated a video game boss on hard mode irl
@nachtegaelw5389
Жыл бұрын
When I worked on the eighth floor, I used to take the stairs everyday & see how fast I could go up! It was fun lol
Funny, funny, funny. Thanks again for good times watching your videos.
One of the best American comedians xxlive him so natural
I saw Jim G in Cedar Rapids and we laughed from the beginning of his set to the end. He is a smooth, intelligent, saavy and yeah kind comedian. Thanks for the memories Jim G.
Jim greatness
This is an especially good one. I always liked the “organized hill” observation
😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣Jim thank you very much for making gloomy days very tolerable🙏
Jim you are the best at clean funny! Love your gigs!😘
@user-sn6tg4nh1y
2 жыл бұрын
Hello Lisa how are you doing today How's everything going?
I have more photos of my children than my father looked at me 🤣🤣🤣
@user-sn6tg4nh1y
2 жыл бұрын
Hello Sandra how are you doing today How's everything going?
I have listened to all of these sketches, but I just had a complete giggle attack in the shower this morning listening to this compilation. It’s 6:30 am! How?!🤣🤣
I was laughing loudly the entire video. So funny because it's all so true! I've experienced the Chinese no-toilet myself. It's an interesting experience!!
@ronspielman3557
2 жыл бұрын
You should keep your political views to yourself I will no longer listen to you Jim even though I think you're funny
@1stamendmentmedia464
2 жыл бұрын
@@ronspielman3557 We still don't miss you! Btw...youbtube reports show your account has watched more videos. So ha!
@mudmudmudmudmud7605
2 жыл бұрын
@Ron Spielman Do you hear yourself?
Jim, thank you, thank you, thank you!
I listen to you everyday. Some jokes, well almost all jokes, I can listen to over and over. I've also been enjoying your podcasts. You are a great human being.
This man wears good shoes
Jim Gaffigan has been played by several similar-looking actors over the years.
@user-sn6tg4nh1y
2 жыл бұрын
Hello Joelle how are you doing today How's everything going?
@evank3718
Жыл бұрын
I am quite swell today. Thank you very much!
Just love your talent. To be able to be so funny and clean is refreshing. My husband, 85 yr old Mom and 12 yr old son saw you in Indiana PA and loved it.
@user-sn6tg4nh1y
2 жыл бұрын
Hello Carolyn how are you doing today How's everything going?
Jim is the Japanese toilet of comedy.
@crlguitar1
3 жыл бұрын
@Stephanie Logan I know....Is THAT a compliment?
@millertime7915
3 жыл бұрын
He really tries to keep it clean.
@SageTheRage
3 жыл бұрын
@@millertime7915 Clever! 😄
@peterl.104
3 жыл бұрын
@@crlguitar1 it’s a compliment; rewatch 13:15
Thanks for making me laugh every day!!
Funny as always
Hi Jim, got to be honest… I didn’t know you from Adam prior to the start of Covid. It’s May 2023 and I am watching repeats over and over and over. Pretty sure in 2025 I’ll send another update… still watching, still laughing. Thank you for being funny.
YOU ROCK JIM!!
Wow these clips are a good example for mastering your timing and playing with your voice to underline the important PARTS! It is possible you Never find your mojo or it took you 30 years of Hard work. But once you find it, you never let it go and make it your own! Much respect!
😅😂😄 thank you for making me laugh Jim Gaffigan!
@darlahenri8095
2 жыл бұрын
Thank you, I listen in morning before getting out of bed and at note when getting into bed. ButBjornni still don't want to get out of bed but you make it easier. You make it all easier.
*BEEP* “hello, tell jim his dad called” LOL
Jim never used a piece of tech that didn’t make me laugh! ⚡️ 📻 📺 🔈
OK. I've watced everything.....twice. Thanks Jim.
(4:00) "I need a remote for my phone!" Isn't that basically what an Apple Watch is?
@drinkinslim
2 жыл бұрын
Who invented the Apple Watch? Um, Jim Gaffigan.
How did his voice changed and he grew more hair!!?? He's hysterical though!!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🙏
@videogalwatch
2 жыл бұрын
Money 2 U does that.
“Thanks spellcheck……”🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂❤️❤️🥰🥰🧜🏼♀️
Love your comedy and your sausage fingers
Wow, Jim really going back into the archives in the beginning of this one ... lol
OMG, working in South Korea in the late 1980s, I ran into the squat toilet.. horrible, thankfully more and more places had Western style the following years. Quite an experience 😂
@user-sn6tg4nh1y
2 жыл бұрын
Hello Margaret how are you doing today How's everything going?
@kitcoffey7194
Жыл бұрын
Actually better for you, anatomically speaking. We are mammals who should squat, not sit.
Oh, my God! Jim, you are fantastic!!! I love you very much.
Unbelievable! The cat's asleep! So true XD
Jim's dad story reminds of a roommate I had who during the ice storm of 1998 in Canada, called home and left a message on our electric powered voice recording answering machine. She asked me to call her back and let her know if the power had been finally restored...😅
@teresahowick5197
3 жыл бұрын
😂. Oh that ice storm was something else eh? It was so eerie. I needed seed for my bird so I walked to Canadian tire. It was all dark. On the way back I was near my friend’s house and I heard a cracking sound. I didn’t know if I should run or stay (because I didn’t know where it was) but decided to run. Rang her bell. No answer. I was freaking out. Then I remembered that bells are electric 🤦♀️. Best part was my dream come true, two extra weeks no school yay! Now my kids got an extra 3 months!! Yay Covid 😡
So fun to see some of your early bits. Great! Love how relatable these jokes are.
My landlord said we were the only ones in our building to have a landline...I felt like an old dinosaur....🦖
@afellowamericanafellowamer5317
3 жыл бұрын
Sue Brown- I work with a lot of kids in their 20's. I feel like a dinosaur every day. Sometimes I'll ask them "Have you ever heard of..." No, they really have no idea.
@carlcox7332
2 жыл бұрын
Back before cell phones were even common, me and a friend moved into a mobile home park in a small town. Apparently we were the first people to ever get a phone line there. Over night we were the talk of the trailer park lmao. There was one pay phone in the park that was the local hangout lol
@alysononoahu8702
2 жыл бұрын
So many people have thme
@suefoss3396
Жыл бұрын
@@afellowamericanafellowamer5317 and sad.
Jim you look younger now than you did in the early clips!
@GameyRaccoon
Жыл бұрын
I wonder why that could be?
Clean comedy is wonderful. I have been a Gaffigan fan a long time.
You can see and hear Jim's evolution. He's so good he doesn't even need background art😃☺.
@user-sn6tg4nh1y
2 жыл бұрын
Hello Vickie how are you doing today How's everything going?
Just hilarious! Jim, a few short decades ago Russia had the squat/stand "toilets" - they actually paved holes in the ground with tiles in lighter colors to show where you put your feet. Horrible! Oh, and "soft drink" machines where everyone uses the same cup - you can guess, we never got a drink there!
Loved Juli’s comment
Thanks for the laughs today Jim.
@user-sn6tg4nh1y
2 жыл бұрын
Hello Nancy how are you doing today How's everything going?
hoooot pocketttt
I was laughing as I was watching the "hole toilet" bit, until I realized.....we..also have those.. oops. AND THEN YOU LITERALLY MENTIONED YOUVE BEEN TO ISTANBUL, I am so happy. Thank God you exist ♥️
Thank you for making us laugh!
3:58 Guess what, we now have a remote control for the phone called the Apple Watch XD
😂😃😄😅😂 I thought I was going to pass out on the changing tomorrow to next week joke.
Just so you know, here in the Coop at Scandicci there is an escalator which keeps perfect pace with the handrail. The Italians know the secret of coordinating escalator and handrail!
@teresahowick5197
3 жыл бұрын
All the escalator ppl around the world need to learn from whoever did that. I’m jealous
@joanosborn6772
3 жыл бұрын
@@teresahowick5197 😂😂😂
@jannelaineeleodinmuo2442
3 жыл бұрын
Italians having advanced technology? Non è vero!!
@joanosborn6772
3 жыл бұрын
@@jannelaineeleodinmuo2442 perché? Don't you know they invented jeans material, radio, telephone...if you live in Italy after a while they convince you that they invented everything!😂
Love you Jim!
I wish I could age in reverse like Jim seems to be doing. Or that I was half as funny.
The part about cell phone photos just about made me barf laughing
I have a closet filled with computers.
Hi James , I love love love this guy ,Today i put him on just to get a laugh , i do everytime, The pandemic one was friggen awesome , i would love to have this gift of gab, He can make anything funny, God bless Him and family and keep him ,watch over you all, Love you
Laugh-out-loud funny. Still upset I missed your Cincinnati show :-(
@user-sn6tg4nh1y
2 жыл бұрын
Hello Nellie how are you doing today How's everything going?
Ahah i love this one 🤣😂😅🥲☺️
"We need a remote for our phones." iWatch: "Say no more."