Ep. 110 | 2 Bears, 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

Комедия

Become a paid channel member of YMH to experience an AD-FREE version of the show here : / @ymhstudios
SPONSORS:
- Go to LIQUIDIV.COM and use code BEARS at checkout and get 25% off ANYTHING you order.
- Go to Saatva.com/theshit to get $200 off your mattress!
- Head on over to Stance.com and enjoy the color and comfort of a life less ordinary… with Stance.- Go to HELLOTUSHY.com/BEARS to get TEN PERCENT OFF PLUS FREE SHIPPING.
- Go to BUYRAYCON.com/bears and use code HOLIDAY today to get 15% off your entire Raycon order!
- Go to vuori.com/BEARS and receive 20% off your first purchase, free shipping on any U.S. orders over $75, and free returns.
- Go to WHOOP.com and enter code CAVE at checkout to save 15%.
- Visit betterhelp.com/BEARS and get 10% off your first month of online therapy.
- Go to TommyJohn.com/BEARS to get TWENTY PERCENT OFF your FIRST ORDER right now!
It's another week of 2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer out of G-Bay studios! The bears start off with talking about what prison would be like and trade some Al Capone stories from Alcatraz. Bert then reveals how he'd make love with his night terrors when he was younger and Tom shows Bert some neat things on his Instagram. Bert continues to struggle with his recent coming out as fat and is debating if shaving his entire body would be a good motivation for weight loss. Bert runs a couple of scenarios involving having sex with people that are not their wives. Tom tells Bert about a recent show on a Saturday late show in Charlottesville that devolved into pandemonium and hanging out with Chris Long. Bert tries to figure out the guest list to his secret celebrity football dinner then tries to guess the colors of their eyes. They talk about the comedians they bring on the road and start discussing possible gimmicks that would work well for comics. Then, they circle back to the fat shaming argument and who is the actual delusional one and they face time with Pat McAfee.
tomsegura.com/tour
christinaponline.com/tour-dates
store.ymhstudios.com/
/ yourmomshousepodcast

Пікірлер: 2 300

  • @franciscogonzalez446
    @franciscogonzalez4462 жыл бұрын

    Tom should make a podcast where he finishes all his stories that Bert never lets him finish…

  • @ianscott1155

    @ianscott1155

    2 жыл бұрын

    "Finishing" a YMH pod.

  • @digitalsalsas

    @digitalsalsas

    2 жыл бұрын

    It’s called Tom talks and it’s boring

  • @franciscogonzalez446

    @franciscogonzalez446

    2 жыл бұрын

    @@digitalsalsas wrong. Tom talks are fuckin awesome! He’s a great interviewer… I just wanna hear some of his stories in their entirety! I love burnt, but I also like stories, that can be finished 😂

  • @aidankyle6348

    @aidankyle6348

    2 жыл бұрын

    "Jeans Comes First"

  • @xvi5333

    @xvi5333

    2 жыл бұрын

    Different

  • @sunflowersamurai6447
    @sunflowersamurai64472 жыл бұрын

    Man it's crazy how in Bert's vocabulary the word "skinny" just means "slightly less obese"

  • @alanmueller2027

    @alanmueller2027

    2 жыл бұрын

    lmfao

  • @John-lo4xz

    @John-lo4xz

    2 жыл бұрын

    Accurate #BertIsFat

  • @colina1330

    @colina1330

    2 жыл бұрын

    I know what he means, though. As a big boy myself, I'll look at pictures of myself from years ago when I thought it was fat, and think the same thing.

  • @TrundleTheGreat

    @TrundleTheGreat

    2 жыл бұрын

    Not to mention "gorgeous" just means in a movie.

  • @alexnelson7986
    @alexnelson79862 жыл бұрын

    I love the smirk Tom gives the camera when Bert goes off on some of his stories 😂

  • @ritenour12

    @ritenour12

    2 жыл бұрын

    It’s like the office micheal Scott lmao

  • @issh1n

    @issh1n

    2 жыл бұрын

    @@ritenour12 not michael, jim.

  • @nostalgiajuana
    @nostalgiajuana2 жыл бұрын

    I fucking love how Bert get so excited about any and all ideas he has, as a person that is constantly annoyed by everything in life I really envy his energy

  • @kcameron819

    @kcameron819

    2 жыл бұрын

    Same lol

  • @givenchycode8439

    @givenchycode8439

    2 жыл бұрын

    Samee

  • @aprilliamonroe9197

    @aprilliamonroe9197

    Жыл бұрын

    He's like a 5 year old with adhd and I'm all for it tbh

  • @christopherjongsma5681

    @christopherjongsma5681

    Жыл бұрын

    Same

  • @cyberneticghostofchristmas
    @cyberneticghostofchristmas2 жыл бұрын

    Tom looks like a dad taking out the trash, while Bert looks like he's lives in it.

  • @TheSilentGeorges

    @TheSilentGeorges

    2 жыл бұрын

    Brent sure smells like he is living in the trash too...

  • @cornelionsqween8028

    @cornelionsqween8028

    2 жыл бұрын

    I love how all the pre-shithole Texas episodes had the 2bears1cave background screenshot on a tv and now they're like hey man, splurging 200 bucks on a tv for the screenshot background is a non starter now! Get a poster board and a drunk 15 year old's doodle to replace that tv! Let's save some money on production

  • @Qurisx

    @Qurisx

    2 жыл бұрын

    Bart looks like Tom found him in a dumpster and gave him a job

  • @peterlebuhn

    @peterlebuhn

    2 жыл бұрын

    LMAO

  • @die4race

    @die4race

    2 жыл бұрын

    Tom's looks like the nouveau Rich dad that plays Golf to impress his more Rich friends

  • @jacoblie
    @jacoblie2 жыл бұрын

    I love how Tom can hear one of Bert's terrible ideas and so convincingly say "You know, that's not a bad idea"

  • @chrisroyle4311

    @chrisroyle4311

    2 жыл бұрын

    All due to Toms mum being a dream crusher! 😂

  • @killerluuk

    @killerluuk

    2 жыл бұрын

    Hr knows its great content

  • @nyar5863

    @nyar5863

    2 жыл бұрын

    "You wanna do the dinner on a plane?"

  • @chrisrose_krii_lun_aus

    @chrisrose_krii_lun_aus

    2 жыл бұрын

    Yeah, man has a podcast just listening to his friend ramble and talking him into shit. Segura is a genius.

  • @charlesgrigson6436

    @charlesgrigson6436

    2 жыл бұрын

    Most of his ideas are pretty horrible like the spicy breakfast cereal but this one actually makes sense. I bet he'd be more inclined to lose weight if he didn't have hair or a beard

  • @tylerbarnes7929
    @tylerbarnes79292 жыл бұрын

    2 bears game: Randomly click on a time stamp and if Bert is talking, you lose. If Tom is talking, you win. PS : the game is unwinnable.

  • @LennyC621

    @LennyC621

    2 жыл бұрын

    Just tried it 8 times. 7 times Bert was talking, one time Tom was doing an ad read which I don't think counts.

  • @kevint985

    @kevint985

    2 жыл бұрын

    It’s like parachuting from the edge of space on to king size matras 🤣

  • @SkervyBoi

    @SkervyBoi

    2 жыл бұрын

    I lost...

  • @ozzier9483

    @ozzier9483

    2 жыл бұрын

    Bert being Racist for no Reason. I never cried so much in one episode.

  • @xbmpr

    @xbmpr

    2 жыл бұрын

    Honestly won 4 times in a row and was impressed but I can’t win anymore

  • @evfields24
    @evfields242 жыл бұрын

    “Down syndrome advocates want Netflix to remove Tom Segura’s comedy special” is what came up when they googled rtd comics

  • @mattmason8474

    @mattmason8474

    2 жыл бұрын

    I googled "Retarded Stand Up Comics" a bunch of pictures of Louis C.K. come up.

  • @RestingBitchface7

    @RestingBitchface7

    2 жыл бұрын

    “We can’t use the word rtd because of people like Tom Segura.”

  • @montyjackson69

    @montyjackson69

    2 жыл бұрын

    Time stamp?

  • @silentjav

    @silentjav

    2 жыл бұрын

    @@montyjackson69 1:14:16

  • @ozzyisapothead

    @ozzyisapothead

    2 жыл бұрын

    @@cooperg4605 think he was going to say "thats about me"

  • @bryndawes1492
    @bryndawes14922 жыл бұрын

    Been so proud of Bart ever since he came out of the closet he squeezed himself into

  • @itsjohnnyutahmusic

    @itsjohnnyutahmusic

    2 жыл бұрын

    Think you mean the Fridge. 🤷‍♂️🤣

  • @KarryKarryKarry

    @KarryKarryKarry

    2 жыл бұрын

    Think you mean cut out by firefighters using the hydraulic scissors.🤷‍♂️😂

  • @kurtisdiston4851

    @kurtisdiston4851

    2 жыл бұрын

    he only came out because his mass wouldn't allow its occupation anymore, the closet shitted him out... and it was a hot heavy load, poor closet will never be the same again

  • @charlottem.1477

    @charlottem.1477

    2 жыл бұрын

    @@kurtisdiston4851 *fridge

  • @Blueeyedsailor369

    @Blueeyedsailor369

    2 жыл бұрын

    Bert threw the first doughnut at stonewall

  • @matthewpeed774
    @matthewpeed7742 жыл бұрын

    Hope everyones Monday gets touched through the fence!

  • @daviddobarganes9115

    @daviddobarganes9115

    2 жыл бұрын

    I loled

  • @iangreen7136

    @iangreen7136

    2 жыл бұрын

    It's cold here but make sure you watch for waspes and drink water

  • @justinhd9865

    @justinhd9865

    2 жыл бұрын

    Love ya, fuck face.

  • @TheSilentGeorges

    @TheSilentGeorges

    2 жыл бұрын

    Thanks! Four strokes Monday to you my friend!

  • @SwabLevy

    @SwabLevy

    2 жыл бұрын

    And merry fence touching to you too

  • @iLoveMeSomeFire
    @iLoveMeSomeFire2 жыл бұрын

    Brent “You’re my best friend in the world and I love you” Also Brent: “Wait you have blue eyes?” 😂

  • @aimeestanley9546

    @aimeestanley9546

    Жыл бұрын

    Bert?

  • @christiananderson6761

    @christiananderson6761

    Жыл бұрын

    @@aimeestanley9546 Pretty sure it’s Bart

  • @KB-nc7lw
    @KB-nc7lw2 жыл бұрын

    Tom’s face when Bert said “Ohhh, there’re talking about people. So you’ve got all of Africa” 😭😭😭 Tom didn’t know how that sentence was ending

  • @mrbtskinner
    @mrbtskinner2 жыл бұрын

    Every week I watch this podcast I am astounded by how strong Brett’s ADD is.

  • @johnflaherty810

    @johnflaherty810

    2 жыл бұрын

    It’s amazing how successful he is despite his ADD.

  • @probablynot879

    @probablynot879

    2 жыл бұрын

    Doesn’t help he drinks so much too. His brain is getting fucked constantly.

  • @8bitKatwalk

    @8bitKatwalk

    2 жыл бұрын

    its because he doesnt have it and takes adderal. hes just high with running thoughts which is a negative side effect of methamphetamine abuse.

  • @johnflaherty810

    @johnflaherty810

    2 жыл бұрын

    @@AgendaInMind relax bro

  • @Vekenstein

    @Vekenstein

    2 жыл бұрын

    @@AgendaInMind did u just accidentally copy/paste your essay into the KZread comments?? Lmaooooo

  • @sshuggi
    @sshuggi2 жыл бұрын

    Sometimes I feel like Tom listening to Bert run through rapid-fire incomplete thoughts is like him watching his favorite pet dog be a complete goofball.

  • @thijsfb

    @thijsfb

    2 жыл бұрын

    The way he looks at him is exactly how people look at their dogs being goofballs, also the same way we've seen todd look at bitsy

  • @jarnold1789

    @jarnold1789

    2 жыл бұрын

    Oh yeah haha a HUNDRED percent

  • @Tehbom

    @Tehbom

    2 жыл бұрын

    Brent just has the zoomies

  • @ehnwall

    @ehnwall

    2 жыл бұрын

    Reminds me a little of the balance between Ricky Gervais and Karl Pilkington

  • @mr.goldfish7473

    @mr.goldfish7473

    2 жыл бұрын

    @@ehnwall idiots being sometimes profound

  • @loudd
    @loudd2 жыл бұрын

    1:15:00 The reason they are laughing is because they googled “are there any ret***ed comedians?” and Tom being fined and having his special removed from Netflix is the first like 12 articles lmao

  • @paulhummel3926

    @paulhummel3926

    2 жыл бұрын

    Came to the comments for this! Thank you!!

  • @parkerfigueroa6682

    @parkerfigueroa6682

    Жыл бұрын

    i thought it’s cause they typed in retarted comedians and bert popped up 😭

  • @MrFrostieBalls
    @MrFrostieBalls2 жыл бұрын

    When Googling “Are there any retarded comics” the second webpage result is an LA Times article with the headline “Why can’t we use the word “retarded” anymore? Because of people like Tom Segura.” for anyone wondering what they’re dying of laughter from at 1:14:16

  • @mentally_unstable_9117

    @mentally_unstable_9117

    2 жыл бұрын

    That's it? Isn't it? 🤣🤣

  • @chrisandrews605

    @chrisandrews605

    2 жыл бұрын

    And the first image result is Tom😆

  • @andrewmancini46

    @andrewmancini46

    2 жыл бұрын

    Based thank ya!

  • @terriblepaulsey4904
    @terriblepaulsey49042 жыл бұрын

    Bert: "I got to do a tour of Alcatraz with only one other guy." Bert 2 seconds later: " so I separated myself from the rest of the group."

  • @death2boredom338

    @death2boredom338

    2 жыл бұрын

    Rest of the group would have meant his crew for the show.

  • @tonythatigger9782

    @tonythatigger9782

    2 жыл бұрын

    @@death2boredom338 agreed

  • @Poosnatcher

    @Poosnatcher

    2 жыл бұрын

    I dont

  • @shanefoster333

    @shanefoster333

    2 жыл бұрын

    All he does is make shit up trying to top the Kool Aid bit. IDK how Tom can stand him.

  • @magisterrleth3129

    @magisterrleth3129

    2 жыл бұрын

    He said it was for Travel Channel, so his crew. Not another tour group, which is what Bert meant when he said he was alone. You listen as well as Bert does.

  • @cronizle
    @cronizle2 жыл бұрын

    Underrated line 40:01 Bert: "How do we, genetically, steal his genes." Tom: "It's gonna be tough..."

  • @JOOLVAUR

    @JOOLVAUR

    2 жыл бұрын

    Loved that, lmao

  • @sergiocutlip2929
    @sergiocutlip29292 жыл бұрын

    I hope I live long enough to see Pat on YMH

  • @josephcox6926
    @josephcox69262 жыл бұрын

    when bert laughs so hard he starts to sound like a balloon that you slowly let air out of, i immediately cry laughing

  • @evankarlogarcia9642

    @evankarlogarcia9642

    2 жыл бұрын

    💯

  • @christopherjongsma5681

    @christopherjongsma5681

    Жыл бұрын

    Everytime

  • @seandugan4184
    @seandugan41842 жыл бұрын

    “All I’ve had to eat today was mozzarella, pepperoni and sauce.” I think that’s pizza, Bert

  • @seandawson5899

    @seandawson5899

    2 жыл бұрын

    I can see burt dumping all that in his palm and eating it.

  • @WKRP187

    @WKRP187

    2 жыл бұрын

    Every pizza I have eaten has crust... He said he just dumped that shit on a plate

  • @jsp7218

    @jsp7218

    2 жыл бұрын

    A lot of rich LA ppl order pizza, rip off the cheese/toppings and eat it. No carbs

  • @ethanh3421

    @ethanh3421

    2 жыл бұрын

    @@seandawson5899 I’ve done that…

  • @Nerflover10097

    @Nerflover10097

    2 жыл бұрын

    @@jsp7218 That’s like eating a Kit Kat whole man why bother?

  • @kevinearley5896
    @kevinearley58962 жыл бұрын

    The fact that Tom held on to that Charlottesville story the whole time that Bert was running like a puppy with a ball. And then just casually steers it back on track. Priceless.

  • @mikea4561

    @mikea4561

    2 жыл бұрын

    Thank god he finishes it. I’m halfway through and this is the comment I was looking for

  • @KashOnAir7

    @KashOnAir7

    2 жыл бұрын

    Makes me miss Tom Talks

  • @stevealleman9206

    @stevealleman9206

    2 жыл бұрын

    Tom has two little boys at home, so he's used to talking people like Bert.

  • @WickedSpade
    @WickedSpade2 жыл бұрын

    50:00 Native dying in the back at how absolutely batshit crazy and ADD Brent is has me rolling 💀

  • @jberkhimer
    @jberkhimer2 жыл бұрын

    The last part of this episode with Pat was amazing lmao need him as the third bear some day!

  • @Madagon367
    @Madagon3672 жыл бұрын

    Jesus Christ. Bert interrupting Tom's story 50 times must be a new record even for him. Good stuff.

  • @manle011

    @manle011

    2 жыл бұрын

    The worst was when Tim was at the boxing match. Bart didn’t even remember to let him finish that story.

  • @filthyfrank.5

    @filthyfrank.5

    2 жыл бұрын

    Fr he's doing good recently

  • @cofboy2

    @cofboy2

    2 жыл бұрын

    Boohooo....

  • @billhasadeathwish2470

    @billhasadeathwish2470

    2 жыл бұрын

    Yea. At this point I find it too annoying.

  • @mcant17
    @mcant172 жыл бұрын

    I find it hilarious that Bert equates being skinny with being unhealthy. I can’t believe one man can be so fucking delusional. It’s also hilarious that they struggled to find skinny photos of Bert

  • @nelsonedwards6184

    @nelsonedwards6184

    2 жыл бұрын

    I think part of it is that he’s been fat for so long that his face skin has stretched, so when he gets skinny he knows it’ll look bad. Like when Penn Gillette lost weight, dude immediately looked 20 years older.

  • @byronmarquez3398

    @byronmarquez3398

    2 жыл бұрын

    Bert is surrounded by the same kind of yes men that Corey Feldman was when he wrote Angelic 2 The Core.

  • @codycloer6498
    @codycloer64982 жыл бұрын

    Bert is on a different wavelength today, like a super lunatic

  • @GregParsons9276
    @GregParsons92762 жыл бұрын

    "I was oblivious to it... I was totally oblivious to it." Bert discussing his entire life.

  • @kevinl3254
    @kevinl32542 жыл бұрын

    Brent has a really good story about a time on a jet ski with his daughter. I wish he’d tell it more

  • @phurba169

    @phurba169

    2 жыл бұрын

    He just did like a week or two ago.

  • @TTK1224

    @TTK1224

    2 жыл бұрын

    @@phurba169 really? I don’t remember it, as Kevin said I wish he’d tell it again

  • @BrainZapHealth

    @BrainZapHealth

    2 жыл бұрын

    @@phurba169 welcome to the joke Tok

  • @kevinl3254

    @kevinl3254

    2 жыл бұрын

    Ta ta there

  • @Blumerhimies
    @Blumerhimies2 жыл бұрын

    If Brent shaves everything and starts working out I’m gonna call him One Brunch Man.

  • @chloejasmineschild1282

    @chloejasmineschild1282

    2 жыл бұрын

    That's actually hilarious. "He ate so hard that all his hair fell out"

  • @ItsjustmeElisa

    @ItsjustmeElisa

    2 жыл бұрын

    This is probably the first comment I ever liked but you deserved it, well done xD

  • @drexelist

    @drexelist

    2 жыл бұрын

    love the “brent crystals” bit

  • @borkchopp6329
    @borkchopp63292 жыл бұрын

    “Bert finishes a thought” Tom: “……so you haven’t had anything to drink today?”

  • @karlsweeney2328
    @karlsweeney23282 жыл бұрын

    "I'm so sorry, Howie!" Is the hardest Bert has ever made me laugh

  • @StonkeyDomp
    @StonkeyDomp2 жыл бұрын

    Bert seems so confident since he came out of the pantry.

  • @charlottem.1477

    @charlottem.1477

    2 жыл бұрын

    This sounds much better than coming out of the Fridge. Lol

  • @ApocalypseHere
    @ApocalypseHere2 жыл бұрын

    “What color eyes are Chris Long have?” Jesus Christ, Brent.

  • @byronmarquez3398

    @byronmarquez3398

    2 жыл бұрын

    Alcohol does a real number on the brain

  • @billy-flo
    @billy-flo2 жыл бұрын

    I feel like Bert is actually really narcissistic in the nicest way possible. You can tell he’s never really listening or paying attention to anybody else but waiting for his next moment to talk.

  • @brookemcneal147
    @brookemcneal1472 жыл бұрын

    I absolutely lost it when they're talking about shaving EVERYTHING to be disgusted enough to get motivation to work out and bert sets the whole visual then says "and put mirrors up everywhere!!"...omg I was rolling lol'ing for real. You guys are both so great, both in my top 5 fav comedians ever! 🤣🤗👏👏👏💯

  • @holyshitmostoriginal
    @holyshitmostoriginal2 жыл бұрын

    I'm here to see Tom treated like a 1940's housewife. Silenced and oppressed.

  • @thebkstank2095

    @thebkstank2095

    2 жыл бұрын

    By her alcoholic husband

  • @digitalsalsas

    @digitalsalsas

    2 жыл бұрын

    I know some 2021 housewives like that still, but I do live in Indiana backwoods

  • @macklemorganfreeman8488

    @macklemorganfreeman8488

    2 жыл бұрын

    @@digitalsalsas ever been to French Lick?

  • @theylovemyke
    @theylovemyke2 жыл бұрын

    This podcast is like listening to a Playlist of ALL your favorite songs and watching Bert press the skip button 27 seconds into EVERY SINGLE ONE...JESUS JERMICHAEL CHRIST

  • @itsferngully55
    @itsferngully55 Жыл бұрын

    9:20 is probably the most inspiring thing I've heard these two talk about. Truly amazing💜

  • @Poke_N_Fun
    @Poke_N_Fun Жыл бұрын

    When Bert bailed on that sentence….. it be never connected with anyone more 😂

  • @GhosttLightt
    @GhosttLightt2 жыл бұрын

    I LOVE Pat Mcafee! The colliding of these two worlds is FANTASTIC!

  • @gregbrown1091

    @gregbrown1091

    2 жыл бұрын

    It’s pretty fuckin cool

  • @miket1371

    @miket1371

    2 жыл бұрын

    I couldn't agree more...!

  • @MattMcLeod6
    @MattMcLeod62 жыл бұрын

    "I was in 9th grade and we were just drinking" "The cops came, but I wasn't doing anything wrong"

  • @bigbysnow6306

    @bigbysnow6306

    2 жыл бұрын

    It’s different in Florida

  • @MattMcLeod6

    @MattMcLeod6

    2 жыл бұрын

    @Jacob Urias hey dude. He was referring to alcohol.

  • @MattMcLeod6

    @MattMcLeod6

    2 жыл бұрын

    @Jacob Urias couldn’t tell if you were being serious or not. All good, same side guy

  • @MattMcLeod6

    @MattMcLeod6

    2 жыл бұрын

    @Jacob Urias 😂😂😂 I’m 28. But, cheers to Brett lol

  • @jupiterokachobee1532
    @jupiterokachobee15322 жыл бұрын

    Would love to get McAfee as a host one day that last part of the episode was dope

  • @jareddulack1
    @jareddulack12 жыл бұрын

    Bert’s exhale at 1:20:56 sounded like my Saint Bernard

  • @ToughLuckHaze
    @ToughLuckHaze2 жыл бұрын

    I’m losing my mom and the emotional toll that’s taking on me is taxing every second of the day…….you guys have no idea how much i appreciate this podcast and that i can rely on it for just a moment of laughter and distraction 🙌🏻❤️ that’s a gift I’m definitely thankful for.

  • @82Novica

    @82Novica

    2 жыл бұрын

    ❤️❤️❤️

  • @booognish

    @booognish

    2 жыл бұрын

    Love u

  • @charlottem.1477

    @charlottem.1477

    2 жыл бұрын

    Hugs 💜 ly

  • @tonythatigger9782

    @tonythatigger9782

    2 жыл бұрын

    Hope your mom pulls through friendo. Hope to see you more in the comments of future 2B1C.

  • @monkeywang9972

    @monkeywang9972

    2 жыл бұрын

    Keep your jeans high, Jean.

  • @fostforward
    @fostforward2 жыл бұрын

    I'm enjoying these episodes of Bert Talks!

  • @kamrondorf4707

    @kamrondorf4707

    2 жыл бұрын

    So annoying hahaha I wanna hear Tom's story.

  • @digitalsalsas

    @digitalsalsas

    2 жыл бұрын

    I like Bert and I like identifying special boys in the comments who wanna lick Ted scrum

  • @tattedcodementor
    @tattedcodementor2 жыл бұрын

    This is hands down my new favorite podcast! I've watched a few and every one of them is SO god damn entertaining.

  • @DZ-xv9cj
    @DZ-xv9cj2 жыл бұрын

    I enjoy how Tom always give the look to Bert as though he's saying "You aren't going to say something that will get us cancelled are you?" lol

  • @andrewroling8111
    @andrewroling81112 жыл бұрын

    Another Tim and Brent podcast to make Mondays not suck. Much love ✌🏻

  • @tannerharcus8833

    @tannerharcus8833

    2 жыл бұрын

    i love these tim and brent guys. they might have a career in stand up who knows tho.

  • @Betty-Boop809

    @Betty-Boop809

    2 жыл бұрын

    Bad Friends makes my Mondays tolerable.

  • @skyhawkballer14
    @skyhawkballer142 жыл бұрын

    This podcast is like you gave 3rd graders millions of dollars and they had a podcast. Bert: Wanna invite a bunch of NFL players over for dinner? Tom: Yes... Wanna do it on a plane?!?

  • @AlreadyAway

    @AlreadyAway

    2 жыл бұрын

    Plus like 15 ad reads an hour

  • @999predators
    @999predators2 жыл бұрын

    Bruce's ADD is at an all time high in this one.

  • @nickwood1062
    @nickwood10622 жыл бұрын

    The guys laughing in the background are really enjoying themselves. Cracks me up 🤣

  • @kiernansmith4382
    @kiernansmith43822 жыл бұрын

    When Bert said “welcome spirits” I bet he was hoping for Tito’s

  • @notgoodgamer5990

    @notgoodgamer5990

    2 жыл бұрын

    Under appreciated awesome joke

  • @hodgerson
    @hodgerson2 жыл бұрын

    "I'm about to sound like a lunatic." Bruce's next special.

  • @TurdFerguson456

    @TurdFerguson456

    2 жыл бұрын

    More like "I am a Lunatic"

  • @breexit

    @breexit

    2 жыл бұрын

    Uh huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuundred percent

  • @karlsweeney2328

    @karlsweeney2328

    2 жыл бұрын

    I read this comment and didn't even realize that it said Bruce at first

  • @james5637

    @james5637

    2 жыл бұрын

    *Brunt

  • @martintodd3009

    @martintodd3009

    2 жыл бұрын

    Right on. 👍 😂

  • @howequalspeace
    @howequalspeace2 жыл бұрын

    Such a big part of what makes this show great is the way Tom reacts to Bert. These two just makes each other better and sum of these parts is fantastic

  • @bakerodge5445
    @bakerodge54452 жыл бұрын

    Another great episode of Bert Talks!

  • @GymAndSun
    @GymAndSun2 жыл бұрын

    “Your wife has been diagnosed with amneez-ja” Tom: *points to the sky* 😆

  • @collinclark5832

    @collinclark5832

    2 жыл бұрын

    Amneezeeya

  • @kennybuttons1763

    @kennybuttons1763

    2 жыл бұрын

    I came here for this ❤❤❤❤

  • @itsjohnnyutahmusic
    @itsjohnnyutahmusic2 жыл бұрын

    Bart's new hat style makes him look like a homeless garden gnome.

  • @charlottem.1477

    @charlottem.1477

    2 жыл бұрын

    He needs the glasses. Make him look like a teacher, garden gnome, 🤣

  • @mothershipish1

    @mothershipish1

    2 жыл бұрын

    Classic

  • @osloconfidental1807

    @osloconfidental1807

    2 жыл бұрын

    😂😂

  • @vincenthucknall7175

    @vincenthucknall7175

    2 жыл бұрын

    Lol. I actually laughed at that, homeless garden gnome, it's disgustingly true

  • @ironman4122
    @ironman41222 жыл бұрын

    LOVE when my two favorite worlds come together! NEED Pat to do a whole show with you guys! He brings the heat every time! His closing line “ Big f’in eyes but a nice f’in fish” GREAT pull! Bad boys for life!🖤💛✌️

  • @johnstevens8890
    @johnstevens88902 жыл бұрын

    Tom’s side eye to the camera when Bert says something wild 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣

  • @agfb4039

    @agfb4039

    2 жыл бұрын

    Somebody needs to make a compilation

  • @ZombieGameAreMe
    @ZombieGameAreMe2 жыл бұрын

    Came out to my family last night as an alcoholic! So much stress off my shoulders, thanks brent!

  • @quinnready2936

    @quinnready2936

    2 жыл бұрын

    Did you come out of the wine cellar or the liquor cabinet?

  • @thacuddypillzberry

    @thacuddypillzberry

    2 жыл бұрын

    @@quinnready2936 my guy climbed out of a bottle

  • @ogpapabless9777
    @ogpapabless97772 жыл бұрын

    Half the time I can’t tell if Bert is just completely changing the topic or if an ad read is starting

  • @samanthaf.3270

    @samanthaf.3270

    Жыл бұрын

    Every time 😂

  • @mrchewbacahimself7807
    @mrchewbacahimself78072 жыл бұрын

    Brent is FULLY Tock'd. His level of excitement over eye color "let's do this with everyone" is just mind blowing

  • @jedsweeny1550

    @jedsweeny1550

    Жыл бұрын

    I came here to say the same thing.

  • @GBHSbandperson
    @GBHSbandperson2 жыл бұрын

    When Bert says Stephen King looked like a black guy in white makeup at 1:10:08 I died laughing.

  • @VIDSABOUTLIFE
    @VIDSABOUTLIFE2 жыл бұрын

    If you google “are there any r-worded comics” the third results says “why can’t we use the r-word? Because of people like Tom Segura”

  • @DannyGT7

    @DannyGT7

    2 жыл бұрын

    LMAO "I believe in free speech, but let’s not give Segura a forum. I don’t think he is funny."

  • @lukeknight2343

    @lukeknight2343

    2 жыл бұрын

    Yes sir I was so fucking curious

  • @grimnir6169

    @grimnir6169

    2 жыл бұрын

    My search in images: first hit, Tom’s face lol.

  • @user-nb2gk6ef5d

    @user-nb2gk6ef5d

    2 жыл бұрын

    Do people really not say retarded anymore

  • @grimnir6169

    @grimnir6169

    2 жыл бұрын

    @@user-nb2gk6ef5d I can’t believe in an enlightened society that any words are banned. Words are just words without intent. The speaker gives the words agency and without agency they’re but sounds out of a mouth.

  • @SamPanamaOfficial
    @SamPanamaOfficial2 жыл бұрын

    I love how Burp is slowly realizing that his perception of himself is different from the rest of the world.

  • @usedconn41
    @usedconn412 жыл бұрын

    I watch every one of these episodes. And the entire time i can’t stop thinking “wtf is this” lol

  • @Midnight408x
    @Midnight408x2 жыл бұрын

    I just spat water all of my computer from laughing. great pod!

  • @NG_____
    @NG_____2 жыл бұрын

    Remember when Tom couldn’t even get through a simple story of his stage show in Charlottesville without Brent interrupting him 50 fucking times?! Wow.

  • @Valhallatattoos

    @Valhallatattoos

    2 жыл бұрын

    So many stories i would like to know the endings to…lol

  • @bf3188

    @bf3188

    2 жыл бұрын

    They should cut his mic

  • @monkey_ish4117

    @monkey_ish4117

    2 жыл бұрын

    Exactly! I'm not enjoying the podcast anymore like I used to, it's sad cause it ain't a bad podcast but goddammit shut the fuck up and let the dude talk too.

  • @Bconsuegra255

    @Bconsuegra255

    2 жыл бұрын

    @@monkey_ish4117 Bert interrupting is my favorite part 🤷‍♂️

  • @monkey_ish4117

    @monkey_ish4117

    2 жыл бұрын

    @@Bconsuegra255 a couple of times is funny but not constantly, but that's me. I have people like this in my family and that shit really can get my blood boiling cause it's like they don't care what you have to say.

  • @stormbreak13
    @stormbreak132 жыл бұрын

    Dude I was sleeping at 1:14:00 and legit woke up in a panic thinking my dogs were being attacked because of that Bert squeal

  • @XavierCastillo
    @XavierCastillo2 жыл бұрын

    1:19:32 "You have teeth in your food" and the looks on their faces me made laugh so hard!!

  • @briannavarro5328
    @briannavarro53282 жыл бұрын

    “When did you come out as fat?” Fucking killed me

  • @bmoulton8844
    @bmoulton88442 жыл бұрын

    Only reason to look forward Mondays is to find out which story Bert enhances and how many times Tom looks at the camera to empathize with us

  • @MountaindewM
    @MountaindewM2 жыл бұрын

    Laughed so hard out loud when he said Hooters since I said it when he asked where they should go. My thought was it as a joke and Bert didn't disappoint.

  • @dustinharvey5393
    @dustinharvey53932 жыл бұрын

    Bert is an expert at derailing a perfectly good story

  • @AD-df5tm
    @AD-df5tm2 жыл бұрын

    "that's not a bad idea. It's not a bad idea AT ALL!" Narrator: it was a bad idea.

  • @marycallahan7795
    @marycallahan77952 жыл бұрын

    “I was with a guy” “I separated from the group” “I fu*ked a ghost”. LIES LIES LUES 😂🥊

  • @newsrapper

    @newsrapper

    2 жыл бұрын

    Basically he fucked another guy away from the group

  • @williamfitzpatrick8073

    @williamfitzpatrick8073

    2 жыл бұрын

    @@newsrapper LOL

  • @chetjump5744

    @chetjump5744

    2 жыл бұрын

    @@newsrapper 🤣🤣

  • @paranoidandroid9979

    @paranoidandroid9979

    2 жыл бұрын

    Sounds like sleep paralysis

  • @andrewnolan7029
    @andrewnolan70292 жыл бұрын

    "Bert's here all the time, there's new restaurants opening every week" lmfao just walked right by that one

  • @jaidynfernandez6355
    @jaidynfernandez63552 жыл бұрын

    so i googled it and i in fact was laughing just as hard as them 😂

  • @SwabLevy
    @SwabLevy2 жыл бұрын

    Tom could leave an Alexa and a cardboard cut out of himself, it would still be the same podcast

  • @TheReaper42069

    @TheReaper42069

    2 жыл бұрын

    😂

  • @TrashCanNinja87
    @TrashCanNinja872 жыл бұрын

    Hopefully I can hear Tom more than just ads this episode.

  • @groomedtodie

    @groomedtodie

    2 жыл бұрын

    Nope.

  • @andrewmancini46

    @andrewmancini46

    2 жыл бұрын

    Bro I know, and each of those ads are like 10-30k payout.

  • @TheMickeyDLT

    @TheMickeyDLT

    2 жыл бұрын

    2 Bears 12 Ads

  • @scottclarke7595
    @scottclarke75952 жыл бұрын

    Another fantastic episode of “Bart Interrupts Tim”

  • @xrmighty
    @xrmighty2 жыл бұрын

    I've already watched this 3 times I'm running out of pods lol

  • @sentientcardboarddumpster7900
    @sentientcardboarddumpster79002 жыл бұрын

    Bert in 5 years: "Yea my doctor told me my liver is in really bad shape. I disagree though, I think it looks better with all those spots on it"

  • @MichelleBelle1776
    @MichelleBelle17762 жыл бұрын

    As a woman, watching Brent Krystals dig himself deeper and deeper into a hole about women’s bodies made me CACKLE. I know after being a fan for years that Bert is actually very sweet so to watch him say horrible things with zero filter and just not compute what he was saying. Priceless. It’s like watching a boy toddler learn why it’s rude to tell mommy she’s fat when she’s just pregnant.

  • @sativarosegold3604

    @sativarosegold3604

    2 жыл бұрын

    What are the traits of a sweet person? He has none

  • @soccerfreek07
    @soccerfreek072 жыл бұрын

    Bert needs to make a cookbook of all his recipe ideas! The pizza egg idea is brilliant! I’m gonna try that with my leftover pizza tonight.

  • @atisp.9976
    @atisp.99762 жыл бұрын

    Bart is the human version of adderall. P.S The background laugh was hitting extra hard, love it!

  • @Cyxz666
    @Cyxz6662 жыл бұрын

    "I dont think LeeAnn would be comfortable being naked around another grown man" Idk Bret, let's ask her trainer...

  • @josef2012
    @josef20122 жыл бұрын

    Bart driving joy from the fact that ""Al Capone"+"Alcatraz " sound similar is Peak Bart.

  • @THEMRBOZZ
    @THEMRBOZZ2 жыл бұрын

    That guy laughing in the background makes it a lot more hilarious hahaha

  • @sdot4769
    @sdot47692 жыл бұрын

    This was great watched in one sitting

  • @probablynot879
    @probablynot8792 жыл бұрын

    We’ve joked about Brett’s narcissism and love of his own voice for so long that I’m starting to realise these episodes are nearly unwatchable lol

  • @KentuckyFan55

    @KentuckyFan55

    2 жыл бұрын

    his narcissism and love of his own voice make this podcast what it is. it's amazing

  • @vince_iz_n33t7

    @vince_iz_n33t7

    2 жыл бұрын

    @@KentuckyFan55 bro half of us are just YMH fans looking for more Tim, Brett is just someone we deal with lmao

  • @KalispellBarbell

    @KalispellBarbell

    2 жыл бұрын

    @@vince_iz_n33t7 yes. This. I actually can’t fucking stand him 90% of the time. Lol. But hey it’s free content

  • @probablynot879

    @probablynot879

    2 жыл бұрын

    @@vince_iz_n33t7 put it perfectly

  • @KalispellBarbell

    @KalispellBarbell

    2 жыл бұрын

    @@MakeComedyFunnyAgain you nailed it

  • @pobbrett3244
    @pobbrett32442 жыл бұрын

    Oh my days Bert is such a special creature Some people think outside the box Bert is such an alternative thinker he contemplates the spirit of the bark of the tree that makes the cardboard of the box special people think outside of.

  • @SkepticMaestro
    @SkepticMaestro2 жыл бұрын

    Another great episode of 2 Bears, 1 Speaks!

  • @royadamjonesII
    @royadamjonesII2 жыл бұрын

    i love how my dog looks at my ipad whenever Bert laughs hahahahahaha im dead haha haha

  • @bobbyknuckles6380
    @bobbyknuckles63802 жыл бұрын

    19:40 Bert believes the first words that come to mind when people look at him are “youthful” and “spry”? What the fuckk 🤣

  • @Pizzle745
    @Pizzle7452 жыл бұрын

    Burnt: "I'm about to sound like a lunatic!" ...and the award for most unnecessary disclaimer goes to...

  • @rickc7483
    @rickc74832 жыл бұрын

    2B1C hat is freaking awesome. I think I’ve laughed as hard as Bert one time in my entire life.

  • @Gluttonforpeace
    @Gluttonforpeace2 жыл бұрын

    these guys are such a good time. i would pay to hang out with this crew.

  • @will-i-am386
    @will-i-am3862 жыл бұрын

    Pat Mac would be the perfect gest for a full episode. He had me dying!

Келесі