Berts arms look like when a child flexes and there’s nothing going on but you tell them “Wow so strong”

@plnkfloydian7814

2 жыл бұрын

His arms look like slabs of ghostly white meat

@Cyxz666

2 жыл бұрын

look at all that "definition" in those meat logs

@esfitnesspro2455

2 жыл бұрын

he's still 36% bodyfat 😂

@acs78393

2 жыл бұрын

Hercules! 👏Hercules!👏Hercules!👏Hercules!👏

@RayRaeTV

2 жыл бұрын

Who?

Tom’s solo podcast should have been called “As I Was Saying…”

@someguy8578

2 жыл бұрын

YES!! Love to see a half-hour - 45 min podcast where Tom gets to just finish his thought. Release it a few hours after 2B1C drops.

@bobbythelostjuggalo3507

2 жыл бұрын

I wish tom segura would yell at me at a dog park 🤣🤣🤣

@itsme-hf3yd

2 жыл бұрын

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

@KarmaBaby11

2 жыл бұрын

He never finished what he was saying about chefs- he got talking about Rochester and then Bart started talking about Kodak Black

Idk why, but angry Tom makes me feel so safe and warm inside. Like a freshly baked chocolate chip cookie.

@benp9879

2 жыл бұрын

*Saka Soufflé

@Mannydamon

2 жыл бұрын

Chaka souffle

@Shecklevich

2 жыл бұрын

But also like he might kill me in my sleep.

@bendegroat9063

2 жыл бұрын

Ooooo

@Mannydamon

2 жыл бұрын

Anyone gay looking for some fun? Do yo know what a banana split is?

Can you put a shock collar on Bert for one episode and everytime he doesn't finish a thought he gets zapped? That would be really neat!

@reefchiefer

2 жыл бұрын

It would do wonders for the show

@nooneyouknow699

2 жыл бұрын

How about anytime he interrupts Tom with a unrelated topic? Or just a muzzle for at least 50% of the time so Tom can get some words in

@edwardfranklin18

2 жыл бұрын

I think you meant Cattle prod! LOL

@eriksaenz1370

2 жыл бұрын

The episode would never get done because he wouldn't be able to stop himself.

@fraguladotvee8959

2 жыл бұрын

That would be a fucking great idea for at least one episode. I bet he'd do it too.

Bert is all over the place. God Bless Tom

@daveit7107

2 жыл бұрын

hes on coke

@BrigitteMcDerm

2 жыл бұрын

I love it. Bert has adhd his mind is amazing lol

@RolandSpecialSauce

2 жыл бұрын

@@BrigitteMcDerm you misspelled "damaged"

@levinen

2 жыл бұрын

The two sentences that describes this show lmao

I've listened to 4 minutes so far and Bart is on his 10th tangent. Can we get blinders for him?

@dr.doppeldecker3832

2 жыл бұрын

Instead of getting him blinders like a horse they should give him horse tranquilizers. It's probably the only way to tame him.

@JR-rz1br

2 жыл бұрын

I cannot imagine what Bart was like on coke.

@lionsmanexx

2 жыл бұрын

I got to 6 minutes looking for this comment haha

@plnkfloydian7814

2 жыл бұрын

Ya it’s pretty rough to listen to

@christophercawthorne3917

2 жыл бұрын

You gotta let a peacock fly man. Brandt Klezmer is the king of tangents.

These two having a conversation is just my brain. One voice just talking incessantly while the other voice has to decipher any value to the ongoing torrent of nonsense.

@briansmith3880

2 жыл бұрын

I feel that

@Dirt_Merchant

2 жыл бұрын

You’re not alone my dude lol

@dannygreen5477

2 жыл бұрын

LMAO oh god I relate.

@tektiteexpert5558

2 жыл бұрын

@@Dirt_Merchant Of course he's not. He's got multiple voices in his head to keep him company.

@bigdawgs94

2 жыл бұрын

This could be a great way to explain adhd brain to people lmao it’s unbearable sometimes

Tom’s favorite topic really is talking about how to chop up bodies. You can see how engaged he became the moment Brent asked him.

@ceetee6939

2 жыл бұрын

Yeah but if you had to kill tom or bert and have the other one help, Id probably pick tom to have help, what about you?

@silkbutter

2 жыл бұрын

@@ceetee6939 would have Tom help me kill Burt no question haha

Bert and Schaub should have a podcast together where they each drink 20 different types of beverage while interrupting eachother constantly.

@CrimsonTusk

2 жыл бұрын

I think that idea just gave me a brain aneurysm...

@mr.Swartz

2 жыл бұрын

You son of a bitch ! I’m in

@MrFrostieBalls

2 жыл бұрын

I think Schaub needs to just stop existing in the comedy and podcast scene in general because he's not interesting or funny. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

@osloconfidental1807

2 жыл бұрын

Hahahahahaha

@MattMcLeod6

2 жыл бұрын

And lots of mispronunciations

This podcast is really just Bert following his thoughts vocally which include about 6 tangents per thought and Tommy two buns sitting there with his hands clasped while looking at Bert with his head slightly tilted and a slight "I can't believe he's still talking" expression.

@DrDime_

2 жыл бұрын

Bert's brain never matured. he's a child. just watch the shit he does and imagine an 11 year old in his place. zero difference.

@polybiusnymb6446

2 жыл бұрын

This comment section is really just people pointing out what a neurotic, ungrounded, blubbering vagina Bert is…. Over… And over….

bert is like a child constantly looking for validation from daddy tom, and tom never wants to put him or his ideas down so hes just like yeah sure buddy.

@jakewitter2415

2 жыл бұрын

I agree! Listening to Bert speak is like hearing a child structure his first fully cohesive sentence, but it's every time he speaks

@thewonderfulwizardoftheweb1053

2 жыл бұрын

It’s a comedy podcast tom is yes anding

When Tom talks you can see Bert's eyes glaze over lol

Native will definitely blow Bert out of the water in this weight loss competition.

@SoyCanVamp772

2 жыл бұрын

Oh he’s gunna embarrass Bert

@Betty-Boop809

2 жыл бұрын

@@SoyCanVamp772 lol, that’s not too difficult.

@blunttrauma5300

2 жыл бұрын

Uhhhhh hundred percent

@dr.doppeldecker3832

2 жыл бұрын

It just needs one coke fueled gambling bender and his victory is secured.

@jojnjohnson3234

2 жыл бұрын

Might just blow him.

Brent trying to not interrupt Tom’s dog park story is amazing, he looks like he might explode 😂

@2011Jayceon

2 жыл бұрын

I think that's because of all the fat.

@Matteuslee

2 жыл бұрын

You try not interrupting people like Mr. Krystal’s when you’re fueled by 3 bottles of fit vine and 128 grams of sugar from red flavored kool-aid.

@TrollHunterxXx

2 жыл бұрын

🤣🤣🤣

@yannikakapralli

2 жыл бұрын

he will explode someday.

@ToughLuckHaze

2 жыл бұрын

@@Matteuslee 🤣🤣🤣

Everyone needs to start yelling "Ragu!" at Bart everywhere he goes.

@2pacfan56

2 жыл бұрын

Ragu! Ragu? Ragu…

@Mylespdx

2 жыл бұрын

“Wow! Ragu?” shirt please

Tom: “You would need a chainsaw!” Burt: *makes a weed whacker noise*

Bert makes me realize my adhd is annoying to others. He doesnt mask at ALL and its inspiring 😂👌🏼😵

@brians7901

2 жыл бұрын

Dude was thinking the same shit. Like omg is this how I appear to others when I'm really in the thick of it lol

@TonesWoah

2 жыл бұрын

Ragu? Ragu...

@ahamgham

2 жыл бұрын

Same lol

@Bittamin

2 жыл бұрын

Bert is actually just a casual white guy after 2 cups of coffee

@KarmaBaby11

2 жыл бұрын

Same, 😆

Bert trembling trying to flex his fat arms 😂

@plnkfloydian7814

2 жыл бұрын

Ya they are fat but at least he doesn’t have bingo wings it could be worse

@timothymills6134

2 жыл бұрын

@@plnkfloydian7814 yeah but he’s well on his way to that if he doesn’t change his habits soon

@staynielherbayn657

2 жыл бұрын

@@plnkfloydian7814 he definitely will when he gets a little older

@thecapricorn11

2 жыл бұрын

the shakes. from drinking.

@ctdieselnut

2 жыл бұрын

He has whatever the opposite of definition is. A white tube of cookie dough.

I like how Brent is the host of two of his own podcast. Really cool that he lets Tom on all the time for one of them.

There could be an entirely separate podcast where Todd finishes the stories Bart interrupts.

@burniehutjrs

2 жыл бұрын

"the alternate timeline"

@andyvanetten8381

2 жыл бұрын

From Rochester and wished he had a chance to finish his actual story about meals he had when he was there 😂

@gekquad116

2 жыл бұрын

@@andyvanetten8381 agreed! I lived there while in college and I can think of a handful of places in and around the city Todd could have had a top tier meal but I’d have loved to have heard his take. Such a bummer.

@andyvanetten8381

2 жыл бұрын

Oh shit they kind of came back to it later! Never tried Redd though. Although its not top teir food, I wonderif he had a G plate 😉

@KarmaBaby11

2 жыл бұрын

@@andyvanetten8381 exactlyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Bert saying Ragu 6 times in a row, then saying he could go for spaghetti is gold.

I can’t wait until they catch up to now so we can get the full rant about Will Smith from Tommy Buns.

@tomalexander1945

2 жыл бұрын

His rant on pat mcafee's podcast was pretty damn good

@pwr2al4

2 жыл бұрын

Early 2023 if I had to guess.

@blunttrauma5300

2 жыл бұрын

It'll be an epic, rage filled rant. Can't fucking wait!

@rams812

2 жыл бұрын

He's foreshadowing it here and doesn't even realize it. Like dramatic irony lol

@TrollHunterxXx

2 жыл бұрын

T bunz

The irony of Brunt doing an Ad read for better help as you can literally hear his liver screaming for help

@CaalamusTube

2 жыл бұрын

Brunt :P

@AbadonBIack

7 ай бұрын

That's literally what better help is for lol

“Lollipops…. I can lick every one of them”😂😂😂 Bert made me spit out my water

My new favorite visual is stereotypical gangbangers gathering in the trap on Monday at 8am, rolling backwoods for the new 2B1C episode

@randallshankel4646

2 жыл бұрын

We out here doggy

“His dad is Randy “Macho Man” Savage” 😂… We need MORE of that , not less.

Bert talking about The Game Bert: “Remember when I challenged him to a fight?” Tom: “Yeah” Bert: “I’d love to be friends with him.” Like what 😂😂

Love it when Bert is reading adds obviously hungover as hell

I tune in every week and i don’t know why i expect to hear from tom

Bert:(completely out of nowhere) "Look up how long Bonny and Clyde dated before they were killed?" Tom: "How many times have you been in love?" 😂😂 Love this chaos #ragu

The best part is Tom looking to the guys in the booth to make sure they just got what Bert said as if this is all a clinical study we’re watching play out on KZread.

So glad Tom got Joey Diaz to go to his show in NJ. Might turn into another decade of standup from Joey. Thank you for staying on him to come to the show!

@VictorMartinez82

2 жыл бұрын

I highly doubt that. Joey went cause he lives in Jersey now.

@lvn4x

2 жыл бұрын

@@VictorMartinez82 kzread.info/dash/bejne/jGp8vLCilNecms4.html

Bert is the voice in all of our heads telling us we’re better at something when we know we aren’t

@zigwil153

2 жыл бұрын

Brent is in his own stratosphere. He thinks so much of himself he’s sociopathic. The avg Joe is nowhere near him.

@edgar6368

2 жыл бұрын

@@zigwil153 maybe not a sociopath but most definitely a huuuuuundred percent a narcissistic 50 year old frat boy

@Eyeb1z

2 жыл бұрын

@@zigwil153 thats comedy

@zigwil153

2 жыл бұрын

@@Eyeb1z didn’t say it wasn’t.

@DrDime_

2 жыл бұрын

yea if you're also mentally handicapped

Bert’s laugh makes me feel like I need to take a deep breathe 😂

episode 127, one hundred and twenty seven + hours into this podcast. Bert: Where did you grow up, Tom?

Tom: Definitely would need a chainsaw Barnt: Makes weed whacker noise

I literally checked four times to see if this wasn’t an already aired episode because Bert just told literally the first five stories at least five times on this pod alone

@plnkfloydian7814

2 жыл бұрын

If you think that’s bad don’t watch TFATK, they do like 3-4 episodes a week and understandably everything has already been said before

@mp5249

2 жыл бұрын

Extended alcohol abuse shrinks your brain. Super common.

This show always makes me excited for Wednesday so I can hear Tom finish a story

Hey Tim, Rochester native here, I saw your show here back in February, come back soon, that shit was funny

So I'm listening to this while I'm on lunch at my college and I just realized if anyone walks past and hears any part of this out of context I'm gonna look like a fucking psycho lmao 🤣

@leppycon

2 жыл бұрын

I have the same problem with YMH, I've given up trying to explain it

3:45 tom caught on camera giving bret the “i could definitely cut this guys head off” look😂

Brent's "The Machine" films timing is so unfortunate, and Tom keeps taking jabs lmao

@cryinpooper

2 жыл бұрын

I thought it was called the mechanic

@joerunge3915

2 жыл бұрын

You see what Andrew Schulz did to bart on Flagrant 2 lol

@mcr5645

2 жыл бұрын

@@cryinpooper lmaooo

@sentientcardboarddumpster7900

2 жыл бұрын

@@joerunge3915 what happened? What episode?

@MNewsTime

2 жыл бұрын

@@sentientcardboarddumpster7900 most recent flagrant 2 just look it up. Akaash also did the bert cast. But I’m missing on why the movie is bad timing? Asides from the whole russia Ukraine thing but viewers won’t care

The dude losing his shit laughing in the back gets me every time ngl

I’ve been a chef for over 11yrs in nyc. I love hearing when people appreciate our craft. (Bert, I’m working on the perfect breakfast sandwich for you)

Tommy Buns, for the next 2b1c live you should send bart to rehab

Filmed so long ago they still haven’t addressed the Will Smith slap. Maybe next months episode they’ll catch up.

@leppycon

2 жыл бұрын

lol dude it was two episodes ago, one was the morning after it happened.

@seNor916x4

2 жыл бұрын

@@leppycon No they haven’t not on YMH or 2bears.

@leppycon

2 жыл бұрын

@@seNor916x4 one of the episodes was the day after.....it hasn't been talked about yet

@lapincheriatota

2 жыл бұрын

filmed so long ago that jada havent even cheated on will smith for the first time

@groomedtodie

2 жыл бұрын

Is there anything left to be said about it?

Actually collectively with everybody in these comments I'm sure we can all agree we are mostly here for Tom segura

Man! The way Brent went on about where he used to live, reallly showed Tom’s patience 😂

So Brent is dressed for the beach and Tom is about to get into his igloo.

@dannygreen5477

2 жыл бұрын

Bert is Florida man, purely.

@bobbyknuckles6380

2 жыл бұрын

Of course he’s dressed for the beach! He’s so young and spry.

@cayvtube

2 жыл бұрын

@@bobbyknuckles6380 spry 😅. Great word.

@aroccoification

2 жыл бұрын

Brent is usually topless so a tshirt is his winter clothes

@bobbythelostjuggalo3507

2 жыл бұрын

Yeah Brent doesn't get cold

I’m always waiting for the new episodes to come out, thanks for the content guys

Bert going in on Canadians killed me

38:16 I remember the good old days when boys still called eachother bundles of sticks. 😂 I felt the same way Tom did about that one. Nostalgia of an Era lost.

@alwaystru4426

2 жыл бұрын

Bundles of sticks Victoria Secrets Model (BOSVSM)

Tom laughing about cutting up a body is pretty on brand

@clevermissfox

2 жыл бұрын

He has thought this through!!

@zgiW

2 жыл бұрын

"Lets pull it up" "No need, I'm telling you."

Tom Segura should do his next stand-up in Salvador in front of the MS-13

@esfitnesspro2455

2 жыл бұрын

rather Bart do it.atbleast THIS show will be entertaining again

We are so lucky to have Bert in our lives.

I hit the like button after Burt's heartfelt, drunk, hello fresh ad. Did not see that coming

Tim fighting the urge to really dive into breaking down a murder is the best. Keep tryin buddy

@clevermissfox

2 жыл бұрын

Yeah he hasn't thought about it at all

Glad to see Bart reclaiming his Power.

Tommy validating all of the morbidly curious but morally upstanding with that "NO!" to if he could dismember a person after going into such great detail about it. 😂👏

@clevermissfox

2 жыл бұрын

Yeah very sus. He could def do it

Luv how bunz slips those one word responses in between Brent breath breaks

Toms judgmental squint at 3:41 🤣

« My ex looks better now than she did in the 9th grade » Bert come on man 😂

"You mean, and only leave the torso? That's the biggest part of me." - Burnt Chrysler

The transition on the french language speaking and the BABBEL ad is hilarious

13:22 Bert admits to being attracted to 9th graders.

@Democracy_will_prevail

2 жыл бұрын

In his mind he probly like "9th grade...they gotta be like 19 or something "

It's good to have my weekly treatment of Brent derailing conversations. It's good to get the blood boiling to start the week off lol.

Bret should do a talk show called “Just waiting for my turn to talk”

Tom - "Is that guy dead?!" Burnt - "No he just dropped a Bausch & Lomb." 🤣🤣

I love when Tom goes off about Entitlement. I feel the same way Big Guy. Side note: When is Tom going to rub his friendship with Brad Pitt in Burt's face? I really have been looking forward to seeing the Hurt on Burtie Boys face.

@popeye697

2 жыл бұрын

He did that like a week or two ago

@bobbythelostjuggalo3507

2 жыл бұрын

@@popeye697 I wish I could see the hurt on Daniel members face

@clevermissfox

2 жыл бұрын

Entitlement makes my blood boil too

Good that Bart interupts himself at least as much as he does Tom.

Bert’s lack of self awareness and what he is saying is the best part of his act.

Listening to Bert trying to Bert-Splain how a hyperbaric chamber works was hilarious!!

Brent having an emotional breakdown doing ad reads is awesome lmao

When Bert called the crew lollipops even though I can almost guarantee Enny could probably beat his ass pretty easily

@clevermissfox

2 жыл бұрын

"I could lick every one of them"

this man said "this is my impression..... were we talking about chefs earlier?" im dead LMAO

Love Tom’s call back to Enny’s hot sauce comment “Yeah Ragu and hot sauce are the best” LOL

I swear every episode Burt has another epiphany

I try not to stir the pot publicly with strangers, but one time I'll be vocal is when it involved my pup. Glad I'm not the only one who will pick fights when it comes to dogs. 🤣

I've seen every episode and I've literally just realised Tom's finger tickling barts belly in the intro 🤣

Real friendship goes a long way ! 💯💯 Love you guys !

Toms toothless grin is so charming.

So has Bert ever been tested for adult ADHD? Cuz wayyy too many signs, lol.

@ahnafryhover2912

2 жыл бұрын

Yassssssss. THIS. All his tangents are hilarious and sure its funny to talk about his weight and his alcoholism, but I seriously worry for him bc everything he does is just constantly chasing dopamine and avoiding RSD. He DEFINITELY has it.

@catcat5160

2 жыл бұрын

He definitely has it. He should get on some wellbutrin tbh

@StudioMod

2 жыл бұрын

Actually he should stay off meds and be himself. ADHD is his entire personality lmao. Some people are healthy without meds and manage themselves. Bert isn’t mad awkward or anything so he should definitely not mindless enter the world of pharmaceuticals for no real reason.

@untilsomeday8962

2 жыл бұрын

No he still thinks its anxiety disorder... it's soo sad cuz I see him struggling with what I go through everyday... but the difference is he has no clue! Please someone tell him So he can get the support he deserves

@StudioMod

2 жыл бұрын

@@untilsomeday8962 It would make sense for anxiety. It’s called pressured speech. I have it too, much worse than him. Took me years to learn to shut the f up. Like seriously it’s hard.

Don't forget to say " LOVE YOU " guys it's not done without that .

I’m from Rochester and I’m freaking out right now 😭😭😭 love you guys

That Norfolk Tides cap! 🔥

"So, I... this is, oof. Okay. So, when I-- and here's the problem with me-- do you ever notice that, like, alright... when I was like, 25 I figured this out; your whole life, you think, and maybe it's just me, but like..." It's like listening to a toddler try to tell on you for hitting him, but you hit him too hard and he's stunned.

99 times out of 100 I absolutely love everything about Bert, his over the top enthusiasm and how he can't contain his excitement when he gets a thought in his head. Tom practically having to beg to get started on the Kodak story was the 1 out of 100 time I was screaming in my head for Bert to shut the hell up

Brent literally sounds like he’s on death’s door when he’s reading the Policy Genius ad.

It would be interesting to see how Bert sees himself. I'm guessing he looks much like the Rock when he looks in the mirror.

touch my camera through the fence, Brent Krismas!

Tom nailing the pronunciation of oui 👏🏼👏🏼

My man Bort Korshnorn was FUCKING HAMMERED in those ad reads lol

This entire episode is Brent talking, and Tom saying periodically, "yeah". I get it now; now I understand why Ari drugged Brent.

@marcusash7

2 жыл бұрын

He spiked him with Molly bro, it would’ve been the exact opposite outcome hahaha

@seansean7814

2 жыл бұрын

I know this is a joke, but I do have a real theory as to why Ari drugged Bert. MDMA was used in therapy in the 60's and 70's for PTSD and depression and may be used again in the future. Bert's a super nervous, anxious guy who claims he has PTSD, and I think Ari was actually trying to help him. But then again, he did dose him in front of his family. So maybe it was a cruel joke 🤷

@DrDime_

2 жыл бұрын

too bad it wasn't fentanyl

@marcusash7

2 жыл бұрын

@@seansean7814 I genuinely think Ari is just grossly ignorant bro. I partied a lot and still do from time to time, and I don’t know anyone who would think that’s good unless that person is EXTREMELY outgoing and willing to do drugs (me) and have a high tolerance.

@marcusash7

2 жыл бұрын

@@seansean7814 I don’t even think it was a “joke”. Like I don’t know what he was thinking bro, that’s awful to do. He has blood pressure problems too.

I don't know why I get excited for these episodes anymore. It's just Brent telling slightly different versions of the same 12 stories, and Tom getting interrupted and making faces at the camera. Such a good podcast first 50 or so episodes, but it's gotten very stale lately. Even if it comes across as forced or scripted, we need some variety. Some "razzle dazzle" like the dance video, but a fresh idea

@AmandaBurns14

2 жыл бұрын

Yea, I agree. I keep hoping for some moments like the dance off/Kool-aid bits, but 🤷🏼‍♀️ Also, the fact that they backlog episodes. I know they're both doing crazy amounts of tour dates, and we're lucky to still get weekly episodes, just hate they're a month behind

Was cooking spaghetti and pouring the sauce right as Bert started saying Ragu a bunch. Thought it was my brain and I was r worded.

Bert’s been on a roll lately with not letting Tom finish his thoughts 😂

Rochesterian here - Kodak really was massive for so long and had a pretty great employee pension. People my parents age in the 70's if they didn't go to college either went to work for Kodak, Xerox, or DuPont. The fall of Kodak really killed the city for a while, it's starting to come back though!

@CaalamusTube

2 жыл бұрын

Have you seen how much of the factory on Ridge & Lake has been torn down? I've lived here seven years & they started before I showed up. It seems like the project is still under way.

Bert telling the randy savage story for the second week in the row

@ryant390

2 жыл бұрын

Just in case we didn’t hear it the first time.

@zz3n428

2 жыл бұрын

The fact he said thinks Fred savage is related to Randy Savage is just ridiculous

Watching Chappelle's Show - he's for sure a fashion icon. Every episode he was dressed so crispy.

I could watch Brent impersonate a french accent for 8hrs straight😂 but a tangent is always a moment away.