I once found myself in a bar that told me they have 2 beers on tap; bud light or busch light. I ordered myself a tall. The lady said, "that's a buck seventy five." I said, "No, I wanted the tall one." The lady says back, "I know, that's a buck seventy five." Turns out they also had a 10 dollar minimum on cards. I got wasted just to be able to pay my tab.

A blood sprite sounds like some kind of malicious fairy.

Every now and then I have to go back and watch these gems of monologues. They are addictive!

Petey boy really knows how to share some thoughts!

Reminds me of a dive bar I went to last year, half way through the night I realized it was a converted garage in an alley. I guess I should of seen it coming when I found out the bars actual name was Alley Bar

Always fantastic! Thanks as always, pete!

Blood/Sprite joke almost made me spit out my wine!

Hell, you're in a dive bar when you CAN order a double.

5:41 To this day I still quote this every single time I either eat at Chili's, or a bowl of chili, or get chilly.

one of your best monologues

I want a stuffed joker!

I actually thought it was a diving bar. Like with scubas and tanks.

Been watching your videos for an hour, FUNNY shit! Just realized it says The Pete Holmes Show in the intro. Is that on real TV or just KZread? Never heard of you before! You got a new fan! :)

@michaelpalmer5995

9 жыл бұрын

It used to be but it was taken off the air, it was after Conan on TBS

@blackice7317

8 жыл бұрын

+Deppa Jeg Look up "You Made It Weird" podcast. it's on nerdist.com. Pete is an amazing conversationalist and really gets into some awesome shit in his podcast. check it out

I want wings.

I wish there were places like that around me. The bar I go to sells 1 beer for $9 You ain't gonna get drunk there when their cheapest drink is almost $10

@calviincalifornia4048

5 жыл бұрын

for that much you can get a massive bottle of hard alcohol from the grocery store.

Do you eat the calzone... or do you motorboat it..? ;p

@SlackerSince85

10 жыл бұрын

When you're drunk you do both :)

@calviincalifornia4048

5 жыл бұрын

def motorboat. the way i would motorboat alexandria ocasio cortez if she would let me..

@madwilliamflint

5 жыл бұрын

Depends how good the calzone is.

ah that is one awkward annotation at the start of the video

Harrison NJ. used to have one on every corner.

does nobody else see that he is doing the freemasonic handsign?

That looked more like motor-boating than calzone eating

dive bars do have megatouch screens these days. one I go to puts a muscular man in a thong on the screen of rotating pics, as a funny goof.

Too flattt 😄

biggest lie is that bars are cool, that cool people hang at bars and going out is fun. its not. bars are shit. they are dirty, disgusting, super dark in both the literal and metaphorical sense, and filled with losers. its really kinda sad when you see regulars at a bar, they waste away for overpriced alcohol. ive been in numerous ones for open mics. not a good place.

To flat haha

I feel like if he did less of the sketches he would still be on the air