Free Download pdf 7 Instant Tips to More Confident Speaking: www.alexanderlyon.com/free-resources

@gammalgubbestorstadshoodie9148

Жыл бұрын

In my personal opinion Mr Tom Cruise has ADHD because it shows Tom Cruise antisocial behavior when he gets personal questions that is not about himself or when spotlight is not on him so without any doupt a more important Question should be what kind of mental medication he takes If Tom Cruise takes any medicine at all could explain why Tom Cruise behaves like he do.

@Miri.Alexa.G.J

11 ай бұрын

Thanks!

@german18072

11 ай бұрын

journalism always do this.. they irritate people then edit and say they have problem..not particulary a fan of tom... but i appreciate what you do here in the analisys most would go alogn with the media game... our society is fasta and furious going to convert in media idiots... were none have an opinion beyond hypestream

@tarawillis3995

10 ай бұрын

professor is clearly missing some things

@ashroskell

10 ай бұрын

It was a great point, “You wanna’ know. Take responsibility,” etc. Yet, if Peter had said, “Well, I am a journalist and it’s my job to ask the questions that I think my audience wants answers to,” I could have respected that as an argument. I still would have seen Tom’s argument as the stronger one, because of the purpose of the interview, and because, as you pointed out, Tom had already set a boundary which Peter wilfully ignored.

“It’s better to communicate your boundaries imperfectly than to let people walk all over you.” 👏🏽

@WOCKURT

Жыл бұрын

yes 💯

@srphm_

Жыл бұрын

yes, let them knw when they are crossing the line or you feel uncomfortable talking about it because as a person they have no clue about what is in your mind. so speak those thoughts out to express your words properly to communicate things so that interactions would not lead to misunderstandings

@pleasedontdestroythiseither

Жыл бұрын

Do you mean to show there are boundaries even if you can't specify them enough?

@NamesOfTheHare

Жыл бұрын

Love this, what a great rule to keep in the proverbial top pocket.

@McCaler

10 ай бұрын

Why imperfectly? Is there a logical explanation for that?

"Put your manners back in." Love it. I'll be sure to use that one when someone crosses my boundaries.

@jpx8793

2 ай бұрын

Yep, can't blame Tom. Not only did Peter start it, he kept at, even when Tom made called him out on it.

@kdkseven

2 ай бұрын

Pretty sure that that's a scientology term.

I loved how Tom Cruise placed boundaries. Celeb or not he is human and stood up for himself.

@Omnicient.

8 ай бұрын

We all are! Film stars must do every kind of interview as it's more often than not in their contracts and could have hundreds to do to promote a film. I wouldn't think many of them actually enjoy the experience as they're very much 'on their own' without a script writer giving them clever words or restraining them. He too often appears to be performing outside the films with a passive/aggressive and/or 'out of it' stance so ultimately comes off as an 'entitled personality'. Placing boundaries means he'll be choreographing the interview and puts the interviewer in a subservient position - which is what many celebs would want. I think celebs cut off from society think that all interviews are the same - they're not - some are more sycophantic and some are much deeper and the rest are between the two extremes. I avoid his films and anyone else who is as narcissistically manipulating though there are worse cases such as little Gibson and little Downey Jr. Little dogs tend to bark longer and louder than big dogs! He's a star not an actor. Actors can hide in roles. He can't. As usual it all comes out in the wash. He's probably secretly creating the first draft of revelations and when he makes millions from it there'll be volume 2 then volume 3. He's a sale's man.

@philiphudgens4726

8 ай бұрын

He also demanded to management in one hotel that staff shouldn't make eye contact with him...Rich Hall anecdote. Still love him? Yep you probably do!

@Omnicient.

8 ай бұрын

Most of the time, scopophobia, is linked to a fear of being judged, criticized, or rejected by other people. This is a key symptom of social anxiety disorder, but can also be caused by any fear or insecurity a person has about how they look, talk, or present to other people.

@debrascott8492

8 ай бұрын

@@AndruidJackson .....Exactly. Human excrement.

@Simp_Zone

6 ай бұрын

He was a bit weird about it but I agree. The interviewer was at fault.

My biggest takeaway from this analysis is that when someone makes you feel uncomfortable you are not obligated to make that person feel comfortable. I wish I had learned this so long ago especially when I was in my teens and 20's. Not just to know about it but to actually have opportunities to practice the skill of calling people out on their misbehaviour and crossing of boundaries. I'm not sure about boys and young men but girls and young women are definitely taught to make everyone else feel comfortable over their self, well being, and personal boundaries. We are generally the mothers and the caregivers. Hopefully, the younger generations are learning that it is necessary to set boundaries and to call people out when they are being disrespectful and crossing personal boundaries, and to do it with ease and confidence. Even better is if it became socially unacceptable to disrespect other people and their boundaries. People need to be held accountable for their misbehaviour.

@theredeemer3404

Жыл бұрын

Recently I exploded like a savage in front of my uncle, who's a narcissistic Guy that always makes himself look like the best. So, after years of me being polite and genuinely interested in his ambitious endeavours he always acted as if I always had something to learn from him. So one day I exploded and I told him the truth: I have superior work than yours and you didn't even ask. And it's true. So he replied: why didn't you ever tell me this? I said: Because I have feelings and I don't have to live my life as if everyone had to know how awesome I am.

@ksnjmlove8888

Жыл бұрын

thanks for sharing this comment and your personal experience. just wanted you to know if no one else saw this or it changed them positively...it did me. and its appreciated

@moosa1037

Жыл бұрын

@@ksnjmlove8888 agreed.

@ozymandiasultor9480

Жыл бұрын

Oh, you should not worry about new generations of girls and young women, they know when to say no, and they know how to make men uncomfortable and to be really disrespectful, all thanks to toxfem, "me too", cancel culture, WOKE, etc...

@robertrussell2202

Жыл бұрын

@TheRedeemer I don't know if it's just the way you wrote this but you might wanna read it again because I don't think you come off that well in it. You know just exploding with rage like that

I appreciate Tom's honesty. Also, he's there to promote a movie not do an autobiography.

@patmandew22

Жыл бұрын

60 Min is not a "promote my movie, or content" show, I think this was just an in depth, general interview

@mckernan603

Жыл бұрын

Screw Tom and his weird cult

@rcalabais

Жыл бұрын

Hello friend, I PROMISE that this reply is in NO WAY an effort to "argue" your statement. I just as a personal rule, NEVER argue on social media (so I won't do that now). But, Tom has a chip on his shoulder which is inappropriate too. IF you saw his interview with Matt Lauer where he INSISTS that there is (and I am QUOTING Tom) "NO SUCH THING as a chemical imbalance" and that Psychiatry is a pseudo-science...well, that MIGHT upset you (or someone you know), especially if you, or anyone, DID suffer from depression, and DID benefit from treatment. Tom is an incredible actor and has been in some of my favorite films, but he has been so far out of line on certain things. He so CLEARLY has a chip on his shoulder here, which is WRONG. He is a MAJOR celebrity...and one of the richest. No, he's not doing a biography, but it is NOT crazy that someone would ask SOME questions about his personal life...and if he didn't wish to answer, he could have "gracefully declined" to answer. Again, my friend, I HOPE you can read this reply with the sincerity with which it was intended. For being worth close to a $billion, he can at least "politely" decline to answer about who the love of his life was. Peace, Bill C 😊

@gollumtheartisticnewt1028

Жыл бұрын

He's not honest at all. He's always covering up one HUGE thing.

@desmondbrown3595

Жыл бұрын

This person has many narcissists in their life😏 feels like a warm bath watching this interview doesn’t it?😅

I'm no fan of TC but I respect him for not taking this nonsense from the interviewer.

@The_Lion_And_The_Lamb

Жыл бұрын

Yeah it’s sad that he’s kept the kids from Nicole because of that ridiculous cult.

@wintergirll

Жыл бұрын

He shut his butt down

@ViciousMaximus

Жыл бұрын

Yeah, still TC is full of shit

@rcwsue7565

Жыл бұрын

I agree with keeping your boundaries however the way he went about it was slightly overkill. There’s much more tactful ways of doing the same thing. You don’t have to wear your balls on your sleeve. He could have ignored the question and moved it back to his movie in a deliberate way that wasn’t quite so wild eyed “you better do what I tell you” kind of way.

@mckernan603

Жыл бұрын

There was no nonsense from the interviewer, and a lot of nonsense from this KZreadr respecting his awkward tirade.

The interviewer knew what he was doing, got called out and then tried to push it. Tom was in the right and he even gave the interviewer plenty of chances to redirect.

@alexanderlyon

Жыл бұрын

Thanks, Anthony. I agree with you. Tom sent multiple signals that he was not interested in talking about it and even said so directly a couple of times before Peter move forward. There's no way Peter didn't realize it was a dead end. I believe Peter pushed specifically to get Tom fired up, rather than to hear the answer. I mean, who really cares how much Tom used to love his ex-wife? Why is getting that answer so important?

@LisssyLi

Жыл бұрын

Yes he did, and I also believe Peter knew Tom personally through Nicole when the were married.

@eduardochavacano

Жыл бұрын

the interviewer was so horny because of Tom’s beauty so he lost his mind and became a dog.

@fbryce1ify

10 ай бұрын

Peter Overton, the interviewer is a personal friend of Nicoles. He should know better!

@CreakyCricket

9 ай бұрын

Cruise confronted the interviewer, "called out" doesn't mean anything.

Tom is a master in eye contact…in every situation

@bgill7475

Жыл бұрын

He learned it through something called confronting and shattering suppression in Scientology. At the higher OT levels Of Scientology they have to stare at people in the eye without looking away (blinking is okay) for hours (yes, really).

@gaminawulfsdottir3253

8 ай бұрын

@@bgill7475 That tactic is not shattering suppression. It is, itself, suppression.

@JakePower-oq7fo

6 ай бұрын

And repeating someone’s name numerous times is a Scientology learned trait too. Otherwise Tom is fairly controlled in his retorts and handling of the situation.

"Why do you ask?" is my favorite thing way to answer a question I don't wanna answer...

The fact that they edited it with voice-overs and claimed he "had a temper" just shows the interviewer was trying to antagonise Tom to get a response out of him. What an infuriating person lol

@alexanderlyon

Жыл бұрын

Exactly. They added the narration to make sure they framed his answers in a way that made him look bad.

@johndeaux3703

Жыл бұрын

Australian See-bs 60 minutes is as bad as the US version.

@meesalikeu

Жыл бұрын

@@johndeaux3703 oh please, this was just one interview. its not this terrible every time out. ie., if you want to see a good 60min interview see ed bradley with bob dylan.

@MikeDerucki0

Жыл бұрын

@@meesalikeu that's different the media wouldn't dare offend the boomer god Dylan

@composedlight6850

Жыл бұрын

thats why you should never talk to the press/ media; they dont have your welfare at heart.

I really appreciated this - thank you!! I'm a young housewife without kids and far too often get asked "how can you afford that?" and other (usually financial) inappropriate questions. Too many times I've gotten caught up in divulging too much to be polite or keep things comfortable (for them!). I really appreciated you saying it's not my job to make others comfortable if they made me uncomfortable first. It's nice to hear that permission. I'm not solely responsible for making things un-awkward 🙏 Thank you.

@MaleneMaare

Жыл бұрын

I am also the one getting embarrassed when others behave badly and I quickly try to "save" them with a soothing remark. I will not carry on with that. I understand why the financial questions feels uncomfortable, almost suggesting that you get your money from something immoral or criminal. I would answer them: "I prioritize!"

@Aphrodite_ErosLuvChild214-80

Жыл бұрын

People are so stuck on consumerism, if people would realize they don't need all the bs alot more women can be housewives .or househusbands if they choose .. consumerism is the problem

@Alexandra_Hill

Жыл бұрын

As a one parent mother I have countered questions/comments regarding my finances with "why do you want to know? it's not your business" Now you may think I'm being too sharp, I tried doing it the other way, went against my natural reactions/response for a long time, by the time I hit mid 40s I'd had enough of other peoples nonsense and enough of worrying about offending them, especially as they had been offending me with comments and assumptions about me because I am a one parent mother, so I stopped. I literally decided one evening that I was no longer going to do that. And yes I am that sharp and yes it works just fine.

@Yana-nr2zi

Жыл бұрын

I am a young housewife without kids also :) I can relate to your comment 100%! People mostly comment on my “abundance of free time” which isn’t true. But I get the same urge to prove how much I actually do.

@purpurina5663

Жыл бұрын

@@Yana-nr2zi I guess you can say “I can see how it may look that way to you”, or something to convey to the other person they’re judging superficially. That said, if you did have an abundance of free time, why is that a bad thing!? I hate this trend of putting people down because of their perceived “privilege” (big quotes there). “Yes, I have been blessed with xyz” is a perfectly acceptable answer too, in my opinion.

I thought Tom Cruise handled the whole thing pretty well. He came across as a fair-minded and well grounded and reasonable guy, but also one who won't put up with garbage. I'd give him 9 out of 10 for that.

@flabbybum9562

Жыл бұрын

@My Reading Room Channel I'm a strict marker! Seriously though, you are right. I liked the way he stayed cool and polite, but also didn't let interviewer off the hook. He gave the guy at least two chances to get into line, but then let him have it when he wouldn't take the hint. Very nicely done.

@Musiclover-uo2oi

Жыл бұрын

Really? I found him rude and offensive.

@jase276

9 ай бұрын

@@Musiclover-uo2oi How? He said it was getting too personal and wanted to drop it. He didn't call the interviewer names, he didn't raise his voice, he didn't walk off the set. He explained calmly that the topic is over. Not everyone wants to talk about everything.

@gaminawulfsdottir3253

8 ай бұрын

I disagree. He came across as someone quick to resort to threats, intimidation, and veiled anger, when a simple refusal to talk about his family would have been enough.

@JakePower-oq7fo

6 ай бұрын

I thought Tom handled himself pretty well, although saying someone’s name back to the repeatedly is a typical Scientology learned trait.

Even if Tom said, "Oh come on I don't feel comfortable talking about my ex-wife..." I believe 60 Minutes would grab and twist that as far as possible, since they've already demonstrated their willingness to disregard social propriety in favor of getting the sound bite. e.g. "Tom Cruise is uncomfortable talking about Nicole Kidman." Or "Tom Cruise is uncomfortable with his failed marriage." The one thing Tom is very, very careful about is avoiding making statements that can be taken out of context.

@alexanderlyon

Жыл бұрын

You're probably correct. I believe they were committed to twisting this no matter what he said.

@marymcquaid7291

Жыл бұрын

Agreed. I've seen several 60 Minutes interviews and they always attempt to bully the interviewee, in the ones I've seen.

@AlextheENTP

Жыл бұрын

@@marymcquaid7291 Why does anyone still agree to go on the show if it's so notorious for its awful behaviour? (That's a genuine question, not a challenge.)

@marymcquaid7291

Жыл бұрын

@@AlextheENTP Good question. I don't know the answer. I've only watched a few interviews and in those shows it seemed like the interviewers were bullying the person being interviewed, so I stopped watching 60 Minutes. But they must be doing something right or they couldn't stay on the air.

@AlextheENTP

Жыл бұрын

@@marymcquaid7291 If they're constantly bullying their interviewees, perhaps that is actually what they're doing "right" - conflict and emotional responses are entertaining after all!

Tom’s first signal to Peter was asking him “Do you have children?”, after Peter asserted Tom had a bad childhood and suggested it might affect his parenting. That’s already quite rude and personal before even getting to the Nicole questions. Tom was clearly already seeing the warning signs and sent a gentle signal, but Peter answers his question, and so Tom tries to be gracious and lets it go. But Peter was not deterred, and kept digging, so Tom became more assertive

@naturalrealm7850

Жыл бұрын

Good observation there. Yes he was insulted from the beginning, got a bit hyper, and then stepped back a bit after Peter replied 'graciously' that he'd like kids one day, but then Peter saw Tom's stepping back as an easy pushover opportunity and continued to ask inappropriate questions... Don't mess with Tom.

@SarcastHandleNotAvailable

9 ай бұрын

he didn't mean it affected his parenting in a "bad father" way, it was not an insult, he mean if it affected him in a way to try to be a better father to his children. everything else was a bunch of crap, but that one question wasn't ill intended

@raldors7499

9 ай бұрын

@SarcastHandleNotAvailable I didn't mean he intended it as an insult. But it's a more personal and intrusive question than one would expect in an interview like this, and Tom clearly didn't like it.

@RandomCarrot2806

8 ай бұрын

@@SarcastHandleNotAvailable It's still crossing a boundary, and Peter as a professional journalists knows that. This isn't a young kid doing his first interview, this is someone who has risen high enough in the hierarchy that he was personally interviewing a major movie star 1 on 1 during the press tour.

I've found silence to be very effective when dealing with negative behavior. I don't answer right away, and I don't let them push me into conversation if I'm not into it. I've recently learned that I'm not responsible for making someone else comfortable. It's wrong to be rude, but if you're dealing with someone who is trying to run over your boundaries, it's not your problem that they're upset (they don't care that they're upsetting you!).

@alexanderlyon

Жыл бұрын

You make a good point, nic. I've seen people just pause for a good long while and let the mood change sink in. That is a clever form of feedback! I also 100% agree that if the other person has made the situation uncomfortable, then they have to deal with the consequences. It's not up to me to make the moment feel okay for them.

@evanicander2023

Жыл бұрын

Just my thought. Silence and if the silence then last, body language like staring at their face, not necessarily in the eyes since that is challenging, but maybe on the nose or forehead, and lifting an eyebrow and then smile and say something to change the subject. I don't know why Tom Cruise had to wrestle with the interviewer like that, go into clinch and what? show he was stronger through being an active stronger fighter?

@oggyoggy1299

10 ай бұрын

Who the hell are you talking to?

This was great! My favorite part is when Tom says Peter you want to know… not people … you. Lol 😆 He was definitely stepping over the line.

@catsfan_M

Жыл бұрын

Of course people wanted to know ,his fans wanted not Peter , he was asking normal questions

@suehuber7722

Жыл бұрын

Think interviewer ask wuestions they think the audience would like to know? Not just themselves

@jimmy7494

8 ай бұрын

I totally agree

@scarlettkhan9667

8 ай бұрын

that was funny and true

@nyalarhotep

3 ай бұрын

You completely miss the point. The interviewer`s job is to ask what audience wants to know, not himself. For all I know, he could be absolutely uninterested in Tom Cruise, his life, career. Maybe he got there feeling sick that he needs to speak with him, but that is his job that earns him living. If Tom doesn`t understand this, after decades of communicating with journalists, he is completely disconnected from reality. If he felt the interviewer was too nosy, he could have immediately make it clear that he isn`t there to talk about his private life. What he did, was that he actually accepted the conversation he didn`t want to accept, and went hysterical about it.

Loved when he said "put your manners back in" like he is talking to a naughty child. He cant say Nicole was the love of his life (even if he thinks she is) he wants to re marry - he is trying to be open and respect his future wife. Go Tom

@susanfudge1737

Жыл бұрын

Luckily, she was able to escape scientology.

@DP-kj4hj

Жыл бұрын

" put your manners back in " is straight-on Scientology high control intimidation tactic. And Toms best buddy is the king of all Scientology sociopaths, David Miscavige who Tom emulates.

@gollumtheartisticnewt1028

Жыл бұрын

His future "wife" lol

@Leoo117

Жыл бұрын

Wow, what a good point. I was only thinking about how it's clear that Tom obviously still has feelings for his ex, which is why he didn't want to directly answer the question, but you have a more empathic and even deeper perspective. Your comment makes a lot of sense. Also, now that I think about it, nobody would really want to basically tell their ex that they are still in love with them after the ex left and obviously doesn't care. It would really just be a lack of self-respect to announce that in such a case.

@kimmieb2u

Жыл бұрын

I loved that too.

Im in Australia. I remember our despicable media trying to make him look like a massive arse hole after this. I hate the media

@beuller7

Жыл бұрын

I 100% agree. The self-righteous mainstream media do nothing but foment rage and division. They’re good for pretty much nothing.

@gabe-po9yi

Жыл бұрын

They seem to use the British media’s exact playbook at times. One of the worst things I’ve ever seen from any media was their Judy Garland interview in 1964. Australians were horrified and extremely embarrassed at the way they treated her.

@sharonjensen3016

Жыл бұрын

The mainstream muck-rakers.

@Musiclover-uo2oi

Жыл бұрын

They were not wrong.

@joek600

Жыл бұрын

the man is a nut case

Tom is a professional by every means. I am lucky enough to have met him personally couple times and he has always been nothing but professional. Love how he handled the situation 👏

@user-oh6xq8lx3z

Жыл бұрын

God bless both you and whoever is reading, dont forget Jesus loves you. He died on the cross for our sins and rose three days later. Have an amazing and safe day!❤️

@spidey8764

8 ай бұрын

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahaha

I love your positive tone and how you broke everything down so nicely. I love how despite the content the focus was communication. Thank you so much I learned a lot. I cannot word enough how good this video was

@alexanderlyon

Жыл бұрын

Thank you so much, Zachary.

Tom handled it well and remember alot of the setup occurred before the interview so you're almost prepped to fly off the handle. Considering that he really reacted with more restraint than most people.

@alexanderlyon

Жыл бұрын

Yes, they were doing lots of things to put pressure on him. The whole thing seemed designed to push his buttons. People faulted him at the time but if this were a conversation between any two ordinary people, we'd see that Peter Overton's questions were persistently invasive and designed to get under Tom's skin.

@jeanniewahine5443

Жыл бұрын

Yes, and then there's all the post-interview production manipulation. I don't think you ever get a fair representation of interviews because they edit according to an agenda.

@thomascasey8171

Жыл бұрын

@@jeanniewahine5443 yeah agree completely. About the only thing you can do is make a recording yourself of the interview and try and shame the interviewer but they are pretty shameless.

@justmeandthethree

Жыл бұрын

Tom Crise promotes a horrible cult that exploits vulnerable people so I have ZERO sympathy for him.

@debrafranklin8285

Жыл бұрын

Peter Overton is a childhood friend of Nicole's so he probably already knew Tom.

Alex, long time no hear. Thank God YT showed me this video in my feed. Excellent work as usual. Still, Dolly Parton video is my absolute favorite. I watched it with my therapist and she explained some additional points from the video. I catch myself thinking what would Dolly say in a certain situation. Thank you for your diligence and perseverance. Greetings from Zagreb, Croatia!

@erinlisabutler7808

Жыл бұрын

Dobro!! Ti si sunce!!

@user-oh6xq8lx3z

Жыл бұрын

God bless

“Put your manners back in” is such a baller line 😂 I’m not a huge TC fan, but he did well in this interview. He absolutely did NOT fly off the handle, and the interviewer WAS over the line. When people try to turn promotional interviews I to hard-hitting bio pieces, I think the interviewee is totally justified in shutting that down.

@Pepe-hj4zt

Жыл бұрын

Do you think that righteous though? I feel as that's the only part of what Tom said that wasn't assertive but aggressive

@80PercentScottish

Жыл бұрын

Not sure how kids can have a normal upbringing when their dad's a scientologist lol.

@aleece4

Жыл бұрын

@@80PercentScottish 100%! 😂

@aleece4

Жыл бұрын

@@Pepe-hj4zt good question! In the context of the interview, I think it was appropriate. If the interviewer had made any attempt to give Tom an out, or to show he was trying to be sensitive to Tom’s feelings, then it would maybe have been considered aggressive. But because the interviewer was attempting to hijack an interview meant to promote a movie by asking non-related, personal questions, I think Tom’s response was appropriate.

My favorite thing about Tom’s reaction is that he never raised his voice once. He drew his boundary and kept a calm voice communicating that without being threatening z

@charlieb9064

6 ай бұрын

It was perfect, big respect for him for the way he handled that.

Lolllll I was going to comment that I love the way Tom uses people’s names when he gets miffed 😂

Assertiveness is sexy. I respect Tom Cruise's ability to speak up when someone is being rude and disrespecting his boundaries. He gave every visual cue in an escalating manner without getting rude himself. Tom is a very ambitious man and takes his craft and other people seriously so I can understand how he wouldn't appreciate this interviewers approach. No one would. Imagine if this interview represented a different industry. Can you imagine? Very unprofessional. Tom is a man who has expressed how much he loves collaboration in the film industry. He clearly enjoys people and teamwork is very important to him. So I can understand how he would become confrontational as his boundaries were further being pushed ( disrespected) after expressing his boundaries already several times. The interviewer wasn't listening so Tom had to be firm and nip this disrespect of boundaries in the bud. I believe that Tom has very good communication skills and he did take control of this interview, and graciously for both parties, turned it around with humour. I don't enjoy an interviewer whose goal is to trigger an angry response with pressure. That's ill intent. It is unnerving, uncomfortable, and disrespectful to the viewer as well. Not just because it feels bad to watch someone be to watch someone be disrespected but because the viewer is then denied what could be a really wonderful conversation. I enjoy interviews that genuinely create trust, respect, facilitate a safe space for openness, and that create a mutually enjoyable conversation for both people. Time is so precious. Why create a bad experience when one can easily create a good and positively memorable one.

@marinestone2283

Жыл бұрын

Excactly! Tom is in control and comes across sexy!

@spidey8764

8 ай бұрын

is being rude and disrespecting his boundaries? he asked him an innocuous question and Tom acted like a baby and didnt want to answer it. The interviewer wasnt rude in his way of asking byt Tom acting like a baby is ok????

@UKGeezer

4 ай бұрын

@@spidey8764 Exactly. Tom Cruise throwing his toys out his pram like he always does with interviewers who ask him totally legit questions he doesn't feel like answering. Of course he has every right not to answer them, but to tell the interviewer he was being rude is just ridiculous. He's always struck me as being a narcissist, how many times have I heard him say you don't know what you're talking about, but I do.

Excellent analysis Alex . Your kind and wise approach to explaining all the nuances in these communications are very helpful . Keep up the good work ! I’m learning so much .

@alexanderlyon

Жыл бұрын

Much appreciated, Stella.

I love watching body language and communication videos because the more I watch the more it solidifies my own personal understanding of social interaction.

Tom Cruise is the personification of intense.

@lookylookyigothooky

Жыл бұрын

Scorpio rising! Love them or hate them.

@phoenixrising5088

Жыл бұрын

@@lookylookyigothooky I'm a Scorpio rising and yes I have been loved and hated. It is not an easy rising sign. you need a thick skin.

@lookylookyigothooky

Жыл бұрын

@@phoenixrising5088 working on it! 😅

@meesalikeu

Жыл бұрын

its called straight edge. no drugs no alckyhol. no sex outside of getting err pleasured. tom is a famous one aling with his age peers like straight edge rockers henry rollins and fugazi band.

@danielkeslerjr4407

Жыл бұрын

Please don't blame ur zodiac for who u are.

I'm actually really surprised that Tom handled himself properly. Thank you for sharing this clip with us; it gives me many ideas about how to handle upcoming potential conflicts. I only watched halfway through because I thought the interviewer was quite cringey, but I continue to enjoy your content, Alex. Thanks again.

@lakkakka

Жыл бұрын

Lmao just the idea of you dealing with a convo in anyway when you can't even force yourself to finish a video because it is "cringe". I don't see you master any convo style outside of yelling angry single fat lesbian shouting at everything they don't like.

@debbylou5729

Жыл бұрын

And you’re the expert on behavior? You’ve just shown us that you are unable to behave properly

@lakkakka

Жыл бұрын

@@debbylou5729 proper behavior is subjective if we're talking proper behavior all women fail with them hoeing themselves on tinder and onlyfans, etc. There is no.proper behavior only preferred. And I act and speak in the way the way I prefer. Not what you prefer.

@austingeorge6659

Жыл бұрын

@@debbylou5729 Are you referring to me or the previous comments that look like they were automatically deleted by KZread before I could read them?

@kdizzle901

9 ай бұрын

This was a long time ago

I’m glad that you mentioned him using the person’s name. I have noticed that with Tom. I also catch myself doing that with my husband when he has pushed my buttons 😂

I think Tom Cruise has some seriously weird worldviews, BUT I think he is an awesome man. Whenever I see him interviewed he is truly a gentleman. I've seen him on shows like the Graham Norton Show, and even though he is one of the most powerful men in Hollywood, he is respectful and shines the light on other people in the interview, focusing on them and putting the attention on them. People concentrate on things like 'jumping on couches' and 'losing it in the 60 minutes interview' almost as if to say that's his normal behaviour. It's not. Not by a long shot. Give the man his due.

@markislivingdeliberately

Жыл бұрын

He may, but so does everyone else. Don’t know why he gets shit for it and a catholic person isn’t constantly asked why they think raping kids is just part of their rich history.

@drewpar2976

Жыл бұрын

Man is completely brainwashed by Scientology.

I just found your channel and I’m hooked. I really like the way you discuss things and explain things. Thank you. Binge watching videos now. 👍💯

@alexanderlyon

Жыл бұрын

Welcome aboard!

@carolpetrie8780

Жыл бұрын

me too! I am doing a business course and one of the videos was linked in my course material. Now I am going through and watching as many as I can! 🙌

@clairruckman7674

Жыл бұрын

Me, too. Just within 48 hrs. 100% will share with my kids, and already shared the Dolly one with my sister. We just love Dolly she is a gem. Frankly, I know she isn't a comedian, but if she opted to go Betty White late years bawdy I'd die form laughter.

Tom: Peter, take the responsibility of what you wanna know Peter:🤔

@sharonjensen3016

Жыл бұрын

Well, it's true. The gutter press DO want to know.

Wonderful presentation and incredibly enjoyable. Thank you for not just pausing the clip every few seconds, then talk for a few, and then resume. Great job!

Brilliant commentary. Thank you for the analysis, you broke it down really well, and thanks for the added tips. I am a recovering doormat, and love these types of videos as it gives me tools to be more assertive when needed.

Tom said it well when he said " Nobody is normal and everyone has a story". I think this was his way of saying everyone has flaws and no one is perfect, and therefore no one has a right to judge as if they're better. I feel this was his way of a precursor, knowing the direction the conversation was likely going to go. He showed good restraint even towards the end.

I find Tom’s take on his children’s upbringing as surprisingly wise for a rich and famous person. I like how Tom isn’t afraid to just call someone by their first name when they start blathering with excuses. I want to try that. Being in the interviewers position, I always like to hedge my personal questions with something along the lines of, “if you don’t mind me asking”, or “I totally get if this is too personal….” Because it gives the other person a more easy and comfortable out. I also don’t sit down and interrogate people though

@sin3358

Жыл бұрын

I noticed that he mentioned Peters name the second he said it. I work at a call center and we were taught to use our leads name to be friendlier with them so we can have an upper hand in getting them to agree to our perspective and offers. I personally hate it, I always prefer using sir or ma'am in order to stay respectful, so that kind of irked me

@CartePostale.

Жыл бұрын

When we moved from the U.K. to the U.S.A., we were asked a LOT of questions which, although we are generally quite a laid-back couple, thought they were extremely personal. A couple of examples. We were asked how much my husband earned & how much we'd paid for our home. The worst was a woman who hadn't spoken to us at all for the first year we attended our church. Instead, she waited until I was in conversation with three others one morning & then interrupted to ask the question, "So, when are you two kids going to give us babies?" She & her husband were popular & they were known for throwing great parties but they knew nothing of manners. Can I just point out that, if you feel you need to put either of these two statements before a question, you already know you're probably, "crossing a line". However, props to you as well for knowing there is a line.

@psyience3213

Жыл бұрын

@@CartePostale. yeah what can I say, us Americans like to get know each other in a very personal way 😆 we don’t ask to judge though, we ask just to better understand. I appreciate your viewpoint.

@mikeyseviersspookshow5183

Жыл бұрын

@@CartePostale. You're problem, if I may, is hanging out with Americans who go to church. They're an evil, nosy lot. Did you move to the American South?

@clairruckman7674

Жыл бұрын

My experience with talking a lot is from doing over the phone CSR work. Letting people just talk and not have hard questioning tends to allow people to share stuff they normally wouldn't. I had people tell me everything from their favorite positions to terrible things like their small child needing a heart transplant all while doing CSR work for a cell phone carrier. People like to share, and just giving them space to talk often gets you the most intel on everyone intentional, or no. Lady I literally help at my grocery store added an hour to my trip on two separate occasions, but she was in her 80's, immigrated from Lebanon, has two children speaks 3 languages , and is a Christian. I haven't seen her since before the pandemic, but just by listening to her I still remember those details of her life and she shared that with two separate occasions bumping into each other. Oh, and her eyes are going and she was wondering about vitamins to help support them, hence I started helping her shop to begin with. Read her some labels and shared what I knew about eye health. ...

You’re really a great communication coach! And, God bless you too.

“It’s better to communicate your boundaries imperfectly than to let people walk all over you.” Thank you. I DID this at my work with a colleague who was bothering me one day and he never talked to me again.

Hello, Mr. Alex Lyon 👋 Thank you for bringing up communication examples using celebrity interviews. This is very interesting! Please show more about this. If you have the opportunity, you may well bring up the subject - body language. Kind regards from🌹 Pia Sweden/Gothenburg

Tom Cruise didn’t realize Old School manners were changing. Back in the 1960s-1970s people use to understand boundaries.

@JSilva-ei5st

Жыл бұрын

Old school manners are good manners. Good manners are timeless.

@cooldude6408

Жыл бұрын

Lol they are still effective, talk to anyone like this with extreme personal questions and he will show u the boundaries.

Keeping it light and maintaining a smile throughout conflict and/or crossed boundaries! What a great lesson!

Peter overton is trying to get a gotcha moment with Tom, virtually hunting Tom, for a big TV moment, a big scoop, this is not a conversation based on honesty. Tom is so right.

Much respect for TC in this interview.

This is the second video I watched that you produced. I find them excellent. You explain your evaluations clearly and use effective illustrations from the material you are evaluating. Thank you.

@alexanderlyon

Жыл бұрын

Thank you. I appreciate your positive feedback.

@MohinderDick

Жыл бұрын

@@alexanderlyon I liked your explanation of the “agree and limit” strategy. Wish I’d learned it sooner. I’m also recommending your course on Stakeholder engagement. Again, good job.

These videos are so helpful. Especially with co-workers. Thank you

@alexanderlyon

Жыл бұрын

Glad you like them!

Excellent analysis, very insightful to my life. Much appreciation Alex!❤

@lronhubbard8031

Жыл бұрын

Alex only gives hearts to certain comments which Alex likes.

I think Alex did a great job reviewing this interview from a communications point of view. However, what I find even more fascinating - is that whatever you think of Scientology - but here in this interview you actually see Scientology at it's core. Tom is applying the teachings of Scientology. Take a close look at 4:07 and then read below: Early on in the interview Tom Cruise finds the interviewer (Peter) is what Scientology considers to be the anti social personality. Scientology teaches the anti social personality is seeking to make trouble for others. They don't want you to succeed in life and they try hard to portray you in a bad way. In this case, they (Tom and his team) never demanded Peter to follow a course or be forced at Scientology. They just asked him to go to a Scientology church and see what it's like with his own eyes. Early on in the interview, Tom corrects this with friendly words. You can see Peter (the interviewer) to change this perspective (as if he's demanded to go to Scientology). Tom corrects it. Peter admits it. If you are into scientology you basically see at 4.07 that Peter tells "people want to know". Scientology teaches that the anti social personality would often say these phrases. It does not come from other people, but from themselves. it's their opinion. Anti social personalities often talk in broad generalities. “Everyone knows...” and such expressions are in continual use, particularly when imparting rumor. When asked, “Who is everybody...” it normally turns out to be one source and from this source the antisocial person has manufactured what he or she pretends is the whole opinion of the whole society. This is why it's so fascinating to see Tom Cruise actually correcting Peter by saying: "it's not what everyone wants to know, but it's what you want to know..." Scientology believes that such a person deals mainly in bad news, critical or hostile remarks, invalidation and general suppression. It is notable that there is no good news or complimentary remark passed on by such a person. The antisocial personality alters, to worsen, communication when he or she relays a message or news. Good news is stopped and only bad news, often embellished, is passed along. Now read the teachings of Scientology regarding anti social personalities (suppressive persons), watch the entire interview which can we found on KZread and see Tom Cruise respond. And again, what ever you may think of it, Tom applies the rules of Scientology on this person. He seemed to be super alert on this interviewer. Whatever you think of Scientology it's all up to you. I'm just explaining my point of view. With regards to my English: it's not my first language. I'm Dutch.

@CristinaAcosta

Жыл бұрын

Thanks for the insight

@marcvandervelsen

Жыл бұрын

@Nomane Euger I think you missed out on some of the context I have given. But it’s alright, we’re able to review and analyze the interview just like we want 😀👍🏻

@marcvandervelsen

Жыл бұрын

@XchangeHealth Thank you 🙏🏻👍🏻

@marcvandervelsen

Жыл бұрын

@@CristinaAcosta You’re welcome!

@libbyworkman3459

Жыл бұрын

@Marc Overzee Your English is just fine. In fact, you’ve made me interested in finding out a little bit more about Scientology.

Ive seen other celebrities handle this situation by pointing out to the interviewer the fact that the interview is about the topic at hand(eg , the movie , the book , etc that the celebrity is selling at the time.) But I believe at the time of THIS interview , that kind of rebuttal could have been seen as very rude. And also , Im sure that Cruise , to his credit , is keenly aware that his fans are interested in his life in general and probanly wants to both be polite to his fans and the journalist. But I totally agree with your conclusions. Good job.

I needed this two weeks ago. Thank you for sharing!

@alexanderlyon

Жыл бұрын

Glad it was helpful!

i salute tom’s thoughts on there’s no such thing as ‘normal’, absolutely each is unique

You did a great job breaking it down.. As for Tom or anyone confronted with uncomfortable questions, there's a quick remedy for aggressive dialog, immediately set boundaries, tell the antagonist to move to a a different question or suggest a topic that you'd rather talk about.. I usually prompt the interviewer with a rhetorical question, which gives one a moment to re- compose oneself .. it's easier for a seasoned communicator to change up on the fly... nice job coach..

@alexanderlyon

Жыл бұрын

Good ideas, Rev Zone.

@clairruckman7674

Жыл бұрын

Great advice. I plan on sharing this with my kids. I'm fortunate enough to have a husband who sacrifices himself to the outside world, so that I don't have to, but ever so often I still have to outside world. Plus, worked in a field over a decade where unfortunately both from the company and the caller that would have escalated stuff:/ So happy I don't have to work in life. Being a CSR though very, very good at it, it causes some really bizarre communication issue. I.E. I'd talk in my sleep an apologize as though taking calls for work. Over a decade to stop apologizing for literally everything. I'm sorry that happen to you... I tend to be a people pleaser and easy going, hence was good at the job. A they aren't mad at me. They are mad their bill is 3x what they budgeted, because Becky went over minutes, but 10 hrs a day 4x a week even Id developed really weird communication issues. For instance even talking to people I liked past 180 seconds near impossible to stay focused on the conversation without trying to move on close the call. That developed, because of KPI Calls per hour requirements. Plus, after a certain point in the call you divert attention just passively listening/ conversation, so that you can actually fix what they are calling about. Just found these videos, but hopefully I can finish deprogramming my developed CSR traits and go back to speaking to people outside of my family and close friends and not revert back to Thank you for calling how may I help you today:D

Wow, this is my new favorite channel. I always considered myself a great communicator, but I can easily learn a few things from this channel. Gotta sub!

@alexanderlyon

Жыл бұрын

Welcome aboard!

@RumbleFish69

Жыл бұрын

@@alexanderlyon Thanks so much, my friend! I really appreciate the welcome! 🙂

First time I’ve listened to your commentary Dr Lyon. Thank you. With your examples, Parton and Cruise, you’ve shown me a better way to communicate. I’m often aggressive rather than assertive and want5odo better.

Boy, I struggle with assertion. Can't wait to hear how bad I am at communicating my boundaries, lol

@clairruckman7674

Жыл бұрын

LOL!!! My response to the video (mainly wrote so he gets participation algorithm bump) was an essay on my explaining how bad I am at assertion because I see it even when setting boundaries as being confrontational. Glad I'm not the only one.

He dominating people around him by his charismatic even when he not talking and he effortless That is alpha/king charisma , he is strong eye contact , great smooth voice , handsome face

I bet this ability to maintain control, set boundaries, and keep people accountable for their actions without escalation also gives him an excellent parenting style with his kids. I like the way he smiled and said they were good people and that he was proud of them. There wasn't any sense of ownership or self congratulation. He just seemed genuinely in awe of who they are becoming.

Tom easily could have said “Nobody wants to hear about that. We’re here to discuss my movie and the performances in that movie and you’re doing a disservice asking about my personal life.” Tom was probably jet lagged and didn’t have patience to deal with the tomfoolery

@RandomCarrot2806

8 ай бұрын

He did, both subtly at first, and directly when telling the interviewer he was crossing a line.

@lauralarrabee7870

8 ай бұрын

@@RandomCarrot2806 Tom came away looking arrogant. Tom Hardy is a better example. Tom Hardy was asked about his sexuality and didn’t sound hard or fierce about it. Tom Cruise had been hounded for years so I can kinda understand why.

@RandomCarrot2806

8 ай бұрын

@@lauralarrabee7870 He only comes away looking arrogant if you were incapable of spotting what the journalist was doing and Tom's repeated polite rebuffs.

I love that Tom Cruise put him in his place. I respect people who are not afraid to politely voice their boundaries.

I would pay money to see a review of press secretaries. Make it even, do a bit of both sides (Psaki vs McEnany) to keep everyone happy. Would absolutely pay to see that. Wish people could see the things unseen, to realize the depth of the situation; to understand what comprises series of words and how those are formulated by positions and thoughts. We take so much at surface level, and it does no one any good to be unaware. For example, two incredibly amazing footage sequences would be Doocy vs Psaki (her response), as compared to Acosta vs McEnany (her response). There is SO MUCH there. So much.

The end of the interview is legendary, where Tom asserts that the interview was excellent, and the Peter just had to be corrected :)

@alethiamillner5603

Жыл бұрын

Like a boss! The interviewer said something like you think the interview went well even though you thought I was being disrespectful? Tom was like yeah you step out of line but I put you right back in! 🤣🤣🤣

“people will cross your boundaries if you let them” - does this mean that i can NEVER ever just relax around other human beings? 🥺

@MadonnaGrogan

3 ай бұрын

Sometimes

I have seen this interview multiple times over the years usually attached to a clip regarding lists of celebs flying off the wall in interviews etc . I've also always agreed with the interviewer that Tom was some crazy lunatic just because he's trying to protect his personal life and family and stick up for himself. Honestly, I think it did have a lot to do with how 60 Minutes framed this with the voice overs and editing. After just finishing watching it again I can say I have completely changed my mind and do think that Peter was being a total ASSH*LE by not caring about his interviewee and how clearly uncomfortable Tom was feeling.

@alexanderlyon

Жыл бұрын

Thanks for saying that, Nate. I appreciate that you watched with an open mind.

@eddiek8179

Жыл бұрын

Also, 60 minutes Australia is a very disingenuous program - ironically because it touts to be truthful about news but it isn't. It's mostly skewed segments or hit pieces. Their KZread page will attest to that - they have their comments turned off. All of their videos.

@noneofurbusiness5223

Жыл бұрын

Always! remember, a reporter is after a story, period. When I was RN I was taking care of teen that had been in car 🚗 accident. She was no info. So NBC Affilliate called *every* single room & asked for her!

@SvensktTroll

Жыл бұрын

I have seen a few interviews with tom and i think he makes sense. I don't like the cult thing but most people are a part of some sort of club/cult=religion Media is trash

One thing significant to note about this, is that the interviewer Peter Overton, and Nicole Kidman, were childhood friends, and Cruise knew this. So there's more going on than what's immediately apparent in regards to loyalties.

Whatever you think of Cruise, he did great.

6:11 "If they've crossed your boundaries and made you feel uncomfortable, you have no obligation to make sure they feel comfortable". This pretty much sums it up. Sometimes we take the right of others to feel comfortable for granted while we forget that we have that right too. We feel we're being rude when we set boundaries but what we are is being fair.

@alexanderlyon

22 күн бұрын

Exactly. That's the heart of the situation.

The interviewer Peter Overton was Nicole Kidman's next-door neighbour growing up as a child / teenager in Sydney. He's well and truly crossing the line here and Tom Cruise showed a lot more class than I would have in this situation.

New to this channel. The host is so smooth and consistent. I like it.

@alexanderlyon

Жыл бұрын

Thanks for the compliment. Welcome to the channel.

@beermoney5448

Жыл бұрын

@@alexanderlyon no problem. Are you jewish (ethnicity not religion)?

I think what you missed was a better rebuke (examples) of what 60 minutes did. They should have been called out for how they portrayed Tom the way they did, shame on them. They added fuel to a teaching moment that turned it into a fire, not cool. Other than that your review of the interview was spot on, we all learned something from it so in that we thank you.

I never had much use for Tom Cruise as a person, though his work has always been impeccable. This interview is one of those things that caused me to shift to where I have real respect for him as a man, as an individual. Go Tom!

This is KZread gold to me. I thought I sucked at confrontations but now I see I suck at assertiveness and showing boundaries.

Great advice, I wish I can put this on practice. I've lost some friendships because they have crossed boundaries and I let it scalate. I was resentful and claimed too late for respect but the other part saw things differently, didn't acknowledge the disrespect and the friendship was broken, I think because I didn´t put things straight right in the moment

@karenking5357

Жыл бұрын

I agree . Same thing has happened to me so I totally understand

I like the honest feeling Tom is giving. I think he emulated exactly how I felt about the interviewers attitude and questions, And was a little surprised he didn't get up and walk out. But knowing what I know of Cruise through the media I know he cares deeply about his work and he cares deeply about the people who work for him. He does his best to put out an elite product and he loves life! For all that, I admire him. As far as how he handled the interview, in the eyes of say, Australians, he was too emotional. I do agree with his honest feeling but think... the kind of feelings I think Tom was having were basically like a spasm. Once you allow yourself to go to that place where you are offended, You experience a kind of spasm. One that lasts until you purposefully get a hold of your self or when enough time has passed. That said, I find some of the comments here trashy. I empathize with Cruise and what he has to deal with outside of his work. It's sad people don't realize how cowardly it is to sit at their keyboard and publish things about someone they would never have the gall to say to their face.

I am a big fan of Tom Cruise. He strives to be honest and professional. Great review of boundaries and communication.

I really like your take on this. I really appreciate your insight on handling uncomfortable questions

As we say in Jamaica “people dem too inna”. This is why I’ve mostly refused to do any interviews when asked over the past few years. Very few journalists know how to interview people without being intrusive, condescending and disrespectful.

@ajamanaid

Жыл бұрын

Dem to noasy... cho!

Tom: Me; Peter: My mother-in-law.

I like how Tom drew a line and never backed down.

I appreciate this breakdown so much I had believed what the edits wanted me to believe.

Love your insight! I imagine Tom's publicist gave the interviewer some topics that were off limits and the interviewer ignored them. Also, when Tom was on that press tour for War of the Worlds, his future wife Katie Holmes accompanied him on many stops (Ophrah). Katie may have been right there so Tom would have been especially upset by the questions about Nicole.

While I liked it when Tom just straight up called Peter out and told him he was crossing the line, I found the start of this interview extremely awkward and weirdly subtly combative on Tom’s part. The questions weren’t serious, but he was flat/intense on every question, as if he was trying to low-key intimidate Peter from the start. He said Peter’s name in a way I would not consider friendly FAR before the questions stepped over the line. I don’t know if it was his body language or just the tone of his voice (or both), but I got subtle “domination” vibes from Tom the whole time, even when there was nothing to be defensive about. It was like he didn’t really want to be there. And maybe he didn’t. Maybe he was tired. Or ill. Or maybe he’s just tired of interviewers trying to take advantage of him, so he’s automatically on guard with all media personnel.

@benwolk2028

Жыл бұрын

Good points. Although the interviewer was out of line and needed to be called on it, Cruise did seem a little edgy from the start.

@1beachygurl

Жыл бұрын

@@benwolk2028 I feel it was because the questions were geared towards Tom's personal life, not the movie he was promoting which was the purpose of the interview in the first place. I think Tom should have asserted those boundaries by stating that he will not answer any questions unrelated to the movie. 🤷‍♀️

Great video. I'm an Australian and I remember this interview on TV in Australia like it was yesterday. I was on Tom Cruise's side, too. That interview was typical of Australian 60 Minutes journalists: always trying to make mountains out of molehills and then spin it in a mean-spirited way.

When he said i want to help people, I laughed outloud!!🤣🤣🤣 Fake lil man with a short complex🤣🤣🤣

Interesting breakdown Alex. Just a little back information to add. Peter and Nicole are very good friends, they grew up together so there is a familiarity there! Tom would have known that during the interview. Hence the statement 'You wanna know Peter! Remark from Tom. Liked and subscribed.

@alexanderlyon

Жыл бұрын

Yes, James. I'm learning more about that since posting the video from comments and looking into it more. I think you are right that Tom was indicating that in his statement. I agree with you.

“Put your manners back in” 😂👏

Agree with all of your points. I’ve been advised to take this approach to interviews: have an objective (the “why” that led you to agree to the interview). You agreed to the interview for a purpose. Break your purpose (objective) into a few main “bumper sticker” points (or well thought out sound bites). When the interviewer crosses a boundary or strays from your objective, get the conversation back on your intended track with one of the points that you want to convey. Listen to an interview of any senior public or private sector official and you’ll likely see this technique in action.

This man had me at, "God bless" 🤗🤗🤗

@alexanderlyon

Жыл бұрын

You watched until the end!

Thank you so much for the analysis and breakdown of this interview of Tom Cruise. I watched the video of the original interview before finding this one. I watched it because a lot of people framed it as Tom’s “Scientology was coming through” with him wanting to control everything/everyone. I’m not a proponent of Scientology nor am I a big Tom Cruise fan. He may or may not be controlling, I don’t know. However, I was most definitely on Tom’s side with this interview. The interviewer was getting more and more personal without having established any trust with Tom to be so. Additionally, he did not discuss the movie Tom was there to promote at all. Maybe he was put off because he was required to go through a Scientology session prior to the interview with Tom, but that’s not an excuse for his line of questions. Him bringing up Nicole to Tom, their kids, their relationship, breakup, etc., was not clever - trying to be cheeky with that “love of your life” question was ridiculous and completely inappropriate. This interview reminds me of the one that Robert Downey Jr went through when the interviewer skipped asking about the movie RDJ was promoting and went after his past drug abuse and past lifestyle. Irrelevant. I’m glad how I saw this interview is same as you!

Laughing is not always humor. You indicated that you read Tom's response and laugh when the "love of your life" question came up as handling it with humor, but to me, that looked distinctly like a laugh of discomfort. I wouldn't at all be surprised if the foundation/purpose of that type defense did indeed stem from humor's ability to diffuse situations, but... I've been increasingly confused when this sort of thing comes up. I don't always get it right, of course, but I'm able to detect a usually pretty clear difference between a laugh with humor and a laugh with discomfort or anxiety. I often reflexively laugh myself when I'm uncomfortable or nervous, and when it's me, I can even pick out different reasons why I'm doing it. As often as this kind of response appears (including in acting, indicating people are very much aware of it, and it's at least in the same family as "wry laughter"), I still keep seeing more and more indications that this is an unusual thing to pick up on. I've often been the first or only person to pick up on someone being in distress because of false humor, while rarely knowing or having talked much with those individuals prior (this has even happened in purely text contexts, without any visual or auditory cues to help). I've seen different types of professionals in related fields seem to miss that same difference, or talk about all sorts of related things without mentioning that specific thing, and I've seemed to even confuse multiple mental health therapists by stating that I'm a "nervous laugher," even when I explain what I mean by that, as if laughing when uncomfortable was actually a weird thing to do. I don't know how much you read or respond to comments, but I'm going to throw the question out there anyway: Is that really considered unusual? To do, or to pick up on? It's getting more difficult to shrug it off as things like "oh, it just wasn't relevant to what was being discussed" or "well maybe that's just not something that specific person has experienced enough."

@samgreeneggs8101

Жыл бұрын

A laugh of derision I think

My friend is a waiter in LA, he waited on Tom a lot and he said that he says your name constantly in a low voice and looks directly into your eyes.

Thank you! 🤗 This was very helpful. I like your videos.

The only thing I personally think Tom shouldn't have done/said was the "put your manners back in". That's how you speak to a young child. If he needed to address it to that extent he could have changed his wording to something like "I'm letting you know you crossed a line, but that doesn't mean we can't continue with our polite conversation", to show he meant what he had said, while acknowledging things were fine prior to that one moment, & being willing to move on from the low point in an otherwise light hearted conversation.

Saying someones name assertively also stops people from "hiding" behind their job title or any group related ethics. "Peter" is not an abstract man, fancy suit wearer, show host, interviewer, public person, representative of the public's opinion, or any other description. No, Peter, it's YOU I'm talking to!

Incredible video Alex. If I was an interviewer and I was interviewing people whether they are famous people or non famous people, I will never ask questions about their personal lives like their childhood, their relationship with their families, their relationship with their close friends, their love life, their mental health struggles, their parenting, their physical looks, their religion, and especially their traumas because it is inappropriate plus it is none of my business. I would interview them about their careers, their fun activities, their success, and their talents. I completely understand that some people find it extremely fascinating to learn personal issues about famous people and non famous people especially if it is toxic, but at the end of the day it is none of our business. How would these creeps feel if they were asked about their personal lives, I bet they would feel uncomfortable. So it is better to feel safe than sorry. Treat people the way you want to be treated period.

The whole keeping eye contact, hardly blinking and using the other persons name are all master suppression techniques. Tom is very good at this and undoubtedly something he's learned in scientology.

@magnoliaflowers4861

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yes, or reading books on Psychopathy.

@daCubanaqt

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😳 Lol

@dianeespinoza8647

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Why Scientology? He may have just studying communication for interviews because they are pushy.

@jesperjee

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@@dianeespinoza8647 Because to have control of a person is something Scientology traffics in. It’s all about control, to mold people.

@dianeespinoza8647

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@@jesperjee so you you believe he was an instructor of their curriculum? Who knows I guess, I know some people who are Scientologists, none possessed that trait,as a matter of fact they were rather passive people I always attributed this to Scientology since it wasn’t a personality trait before their involvement with them.

It's very important to let people know when they have crossed your boundaries. Don't rely on just body language alone to convey your message. It's ok to flat out tell someone with words that they crossed a line. I say this because I have unknowingly crossed this line and would have appreciated a heads up. I later received my heads up from the human resources department. I thought my new co-worker and I were starting to become close friends. I never meant to upset them and would have stopped if she had said anything at all. Instead I had to find out from reading the really long email to HR describing how uncomfortable she was. I felt so horrible. On top of that what if this had caused me to lose my job or promotion? I was able to salvage my professional relationship with them and later we did end up becoming great friends! There is a difference between a 60 Minutes interview and real life. Our host is correct when he says that people will cross your boundaries if you let them and that you should be assertive in this situation The interviewer wanted to cross Tom's boundaries. In real life there are people like me who have no idea that they are upsetting you. You will encounter people in your life who DO intend to bother you but give people the benefit of the doubt by politely asserting your boundaries consistently then diffuse as Tom graciously did. This will save everyone time and pain so you can reach a more comfortable environment.

Yes, as has been touched upon slightly, it is almost certain that Tom's publicist went over the acceptable parameters for the interview as is almost always the case. These boundaries would be set bybthe artist and agreement from the interviewer would have been required by the celebrity's staff prior to their agreement to agreeing to accept the interview. This fact is confirmed when Tom states plainly "You crossed a line and you KNOW you did." This point also addresses one ofnyour final thoughts in which you suggest Tom communicate his boundaries earlier. While this may be valuable guidance to apply when an agreement is not already in place before the conversation starts. However, such was all but certainly not the case in this situation and the same is true for the rare interview in which the subject simply walks away. Once a line is crossed or an agreement broken, all bets are off and no obligation for courtesy is required by the subject.

Thank you for these suggestions. I'm going to see if I can figure out how to apply this to a texting situation when body language and communication can be trickier.