Free Download pdf Confident Speaking: www.alexanderlyon.com/free-resources

1. high pitched voice 2. accelerated speech rate 3. latency or delayed response 4. hesitations with fillers 5. fidgeting with hands 6. touching face, nose, ears, or hair 7. gaze aversion 8. leg movement 9. shifting posture 10. incongruency

@DivineLightPaladin

8 ай бұрын

Looking at this list, it looks like basically find a way to be very comfortable with bodily discomfort in social situations

@lovemyalaskaful

4 ай бұрын

Also add resting b*tch face hits people in a disturbing way...a natural relaxed slightly positive tension to the face is important 🙂

To speak the truth makes every body credible

@lovemyalaskaful

4 ай бұрын

💯 buuuut not everyone likes the truth 😂

You were created to teach this. Love all your teachings. So honest and clear. Thank you. God bless you.

@alexanderlyon

11 ай бұрын

Wow, thank you. I appreciate that compliment. I do feel like this is a calling for me, not just a channel.

@BrotherTris

11 ай бұрын

@@alexanderlyonI agree, you have good discernment 😉

I love this list. It is really helpful and gives me something to watch out for. I also enjoyed how you pointed out that there is a difference between being a signal that proves a person is lying and being a signal that people interpret as lying.

Thank you!! This is great reminder !

Greetings Mr. Lyon. I just stumbled upon your channel and have now subscribed. Great information, and excellent presentation. I especially like your video production including professional attire with jacket and dress shirt, a simple background out of focus so you're at visual attention, and ease and flow of speech. The audio is clearly and loudly miked. I guess I should expect nothing less as this is what your expertise is, but I had to send you a complement. I've added this video to my public playlist on men's attire, style and character. Thank you!

@alexanderlyon

10 ай бұрын

Thank you!

Love your channel. So glad I found it. ❤️

Interesting, thank you

Thank you Alex! This is very helpful.

Great information, thank you!

Thank you very much for your time!

Thank You for the Pearls of Wisdom

Great advice! Thx

Hi Alex. I have hit the jackpot! When I start speaking to my target audience..."Students/youth/young folks..." I will put the fear in them that if they don't watch your videos...they will die. I have struck gold!.....finding your videos. What you teach is why we produce bobbleheaded young adults who come out of school sounding like idiots and fail in life. I am a 2 time Toastmaster first time 7 years and recently rejoined a new club. I stumbled on your videos. Wow...! Thank you. You are my quasi speaking coach right now. You're doing God's work. Thank you!

@alexanderlyon

7 ай бұрын

Thank you!

Thanks for sharing, very useful.

Thankyou Alex , for sharing these truths , about ' Body Language Habits ' . I definitely need to work ON THE FIRST-TWO , AND MAYBE MORE .

great program as usual.

Thank you very much! It's great as always! :)

Professional as usual!

Thank you so much 😍

Loved the examples of damaged credibility people! LOL!

Excellent

Hi alex, can't believe u don't have over a million subscribers...the way you speak is really unmatched !!! keep up the top notch work! a French fan cédric!

@alexanderlyon

10 ай бұрын

Thank you. I'm hoping we get there someday. I appreciate your encouragement.

Thanks for the great tips. 👍

Fantastic!

The best coaching experience 🎉🎉🎉

@alexanderlyon

9 ай бұрын

Wow, thank you, Roxi!

Alex,I’ve been watching your videos and sharing some with my classes at CCRI. Last month, I was at a retirement party for a colleague and I was gabbing with my former department chair - you guessed it! Your mom! We were both so delighted to realize that my favorite communication coach is her son. Thanks for the help with my classes!

@alexanderlyon

10 ай бұрын

Oh yes! She told me about that conversation. That’s hilarious. Thank you for being such a big supporter!

Good and interesting content

I've definitely done all of these at the earlier part of my life 😂The one I am still trying to correct are the filler words. I find they come out noticeably when I'm caught off guard or simply unprepared for a response, so I try to practice my speaking points or asking for time to respond when it's applicable. One thing I've noticed a lot that you didn't directly mention (though maybe it falls into the filler category) is when people get nervous and it comes out as a little laugh/giggle. I can think of so many times of someone just giggling through an entire conversation or interview because they are so nervous or don't know what to say. Heck, I've been that person! I feel so bad when I see someone in that situation!

@alexanderlyon

11 ай бұрын

Ah, yes. Laughing wasn't on the research lists I was looking at but I know what you mean. That's a good addition.

Great content as always, thank you. It would be great to see your breakdown of the David Grusch interview (apparent military whistle blower)

@alexanderlyon

11 ай бұрын

Thanks for the suggestion, Patrick. I'll give that some thought.

Hey Coach Alex, just started watching your videos. Was curious about your educational background, not because of any doubts but just curious what you would go to school for to focus on communication besides obviously “communications”. Also any book recommendations?

Love it

Like, omg! I wish I’d found your KZread channel sooner!

@chanelv5373

11 ай бұрын

Lol I was thinking the same thing. Could have used this information a month ago.😏

Hello coach Alex, Greetings from Guatemala 🇬🇹🎉

@alexanderlyon

8 ай бұрын

Hello there!

Maybe I'm just from a different culture, but for me most of these 'habits' are just habits and show that a person either nervous because of public speech or just has it on regular basis. I know a lot of people who fidget and shake legs when sitting, every time, everywhere. I agree it doesn't look professional and it's better to get rid of them though. But for me they are just behaviours, so it is even more important to know that some other people may count it as 'dishonest'. Thanks couch.

The “holding your hands” solution, to The nose touching, may also be interpreted as self soothing behavior, which could also be interpreted as deception

I do all these at the same times .

I'm definitely working on ridding my speeches of those "hesitation with fillers" -- and trying to avoid the repetitive and annoying "uhms", "like" and "you knows". BTW: The nonverbal leakage that I have found to be unnerving is when someone is describing a very sad or tragic event -- and yet that person is smiling!! Talk about incongruent!! Recently, I saw an interview where this poor young woman lost her beloved mom -- but for some reason the young lady was smiling as she described the events of her mother's death. It was very strange to watch. Her words definitely didn't line up with her body language. Thank you for these tips, Alex. Extremely helpful on what to look out for. 🎯🎯🎯

@alexanderlyon

11 ай бұрын

I've seen people smile when describing things like death or other really sad events. It sends a strange message. I believe it's a way to stop themselves from crying. Not sure.

@cherylecooper906

11 ай бұрын

@@alexanderlyon Yes, maybe they are trying not to completely break down. Good point! Still, it is uncomfortable to watch-- but we never a person's circumstance, so I definitely want to be understanding. 🙏♥️

I think one tip to avoid fidgeting is being more expressive with your hands while speaking. Use your hands to also tell the story or event you're describing.

@alexanderlyon

3 ай бұрын

Yes, good tip. If there's nervous energy, it's best to use that instead of try to hide it.

❤❤❤❤❤thank you

Right 🎉

What would you suggest to those of us who have some form of restless leg syndrome, where it's almost more distracting not to move our legs than to move them. Is there a way to move that energy elsewhere?

@alexanderlyon

7 ай бұрын

I don't know anything about restless leg syndrome but my usual advice is to take any nervous energy and put it into your gestures. This is usually in a pubic speaking situation. When standing and presenting, most of the nonverbal action should be happening from the waist up. People like gestures as long as they are small. Pacing or bouncing the legs is usually distracting.

love this. I have found that i suck my teeth. i had other things i have done in the past. those are gone and now i am sucking my teeth. i have noticed i am doing it more. i am pausing more. I'm not sure if i have to much water in my mouth

Hi Alexander. I'd suggest you go over a recent interview blind: `` "It's An Awful Feeling" - Titanic Reporter Breaks Down Talking About Missing Submersible ´´ Maybe there's some mannerisms for you to pick up on.

Coach Alex....😊😊😊

Dr. Lyon, can you do a video on how not to say "I don't know?" I tend to say that a lot and I want to break that habit. I would greatly appreciate it :)

@alexanderlyon

11 ай бұрын

One of my earliest videos is on that topic. It looks and sounds really old (7 years ago). But the ideas are still useful. If you look up "How to say I don't know Alex Lyon." I'll get it will appear in the search results.

@bjbaker1272

11 ай бұрын

@@alexanderlyon Thank you so much Dr. Lyon. I appreciate the video and it will help! Have a blessed day and thank you for your wonderful and informative videos :)

The "I'm fine" scenario could be that they are fine, but they find being questioned annoying. While I understand that you want to teach people to speak more confidently, I think it is best to teach people to speak more honestly. My personal pet peeve is when someone speaks very confidently about a topic that they do not understand. In some instances it comes off as looking rehearsed. In other instances they get flustered if I ask any questions. Worse case scenario they are completely wrong about a topic of which they speak so well, causing some sort of calamity.

@alexanderlyon

11 ай бұрын

Yes, I make videos about authenticity as well. But saying "I'm fine" when you're really annoyed is not a good example of being honest. That's an example of incongruence which comes from saying one thing but feeling another. If there's a doubt, say there's a doubt. If you're confident, say it with confidence. At the same time, many people struggle with letting their nerves get the best of them when the situation calls for certainty and I get tons of questions bout how to deal with pressure better. This video is for people who struggle with that.

@kathleen1685

11 ай бұрын

@@alexanderlyon I believe a person can be fine, but annoyed that they are being interrupted. The most honest thing to say is that I am trying to work and wish to be left alone. I'm fine is an abridged way of saying that. It sums up many things. It can mean that I do not need any help at this time. It can mean I am not comfortable discussing something right now. It needs to be taken in context. My point of view is that it is a boundary. I believe we should respect other's boundaries. On another note, I really do not care for those body language guys. I've always been dubious of their abilities. In one video, a man had a nervous reaction to what he was thinking, his mind was racing. The body language guy thought he was reacting to what an interviewer was saying. The body language guy stated that he was definetly lying and that he would go after him with full force . The man was previously convicted of "assaulting a woman." DNA proof exonerated him years later. The police planted a car key and his blood to arrest him. In the interview, a reporter talked about a missing woman and that he was the last person to see her. He did a flashback to the previous time the police set him up. Everyone in the comment section was defending him and telling the body language guy that he was wrong. That was when I realized that body languGe people need to work on their craft.

@alexanderlyon

11 ай бұрын

I respect your opinion. Thank you for the thoughtful discussion. On your second point, there are WAY too many so-called experts claiming that specific "body language" cues demonstrate that people are lying. It's a totally bogus claim. I don't know if you've seen my really long (26 min.) video on that. But I give a really deep dive into the actual research. I don't typically post links in comments but you seem genuinely interested. And the video links directly to the article I'm citing so you can take a look at the research for yourself. I'd love to hear your thoughts if you watch it. kzread.info/dash/bejne/c3WHwbKpl9zWdZM.html

I was thinking of assigning this video to my students, but wanted to first identify the "decades of research" it is supposedly based on. Any academic references available?

@alexanderlyon

10 ай бұрын

Here's the best place to start. It's a meta-analysis article by a team that has been looking at the bogus connection between these behaviors and deception: (downloadable PDF): www.nationalcac.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/Reading-lies-Nonverbal-communication-and-deception.pdf

Your stance on filler words is fascinatingly opposite of Valerie Fridland's. You should listen to her interview with Alan Alda on the Clear and Vivid podcast recently, I'd be interested to see if your opinion changes on filler words after that at all

@alexanderlyon

10 ай бұрын

Thank you for the recommendation. I'll take a closer look. In short, there's a normal amount of filler words that nobody notices. But the frequent use of fillers hurts speakers' credibility. In high-stakes situations, fillers can create an impression of dishonesty even though there is no actual connection between the two. It sounds like she agrees with that. So, my advice is for the speaker. Knowing people judge fillers harshly, what can we do to reduce them? It's not a fair perception but it is a common perception. From what I gather (and I don't know much about her or her book), Fridland's view is that we should to some extent accept that fillers are unavoidable, they serve a function, and we shouldn't judge them so harshly. I agree with her here too. She also gives tips on how to reduce fillers words when I've heard her talk about it through practice, become more familiar with the words we're using, etc. So, she does give tips on how to manage fillers. Her tips are different than mine but we both give tips on filler reduction. But overall, her main message (from what it seems to me) is looking at the linguistic and cognitive role that filler words play in conversation. I have no doubt that fillers serve a purpose, but likely in the same way that scratching somebody's nose serves a purpose (to relieve an itch). That doesn't mean scratching my nose during an important message is more beneficial than not scratching my nose when we weigh out all of the pros and cons. Either way, I'll probably look at he book. Thank you for mentioning her.

I'm sure somebody has already mentioned it, but I think you need to look at the spelling of 'gaze aversion' on the timeline. The spelling there has a very different meaning

@alexanderlyon

10 ай бұрын

Oh, you're the first person to say something (that I've noticed). Those were autogenerated, but I just went in and fixed it. Thanks.

@daxrico266

10 ай бұрын

@@alexanderlyon ah, I see, that makes sense. It gave me a chuckle anyway

How and where should we implement these tips? I find it hard to focus in conversation while trying to implement these tips.

@alexanderlyon

10 ай бұрын

Just start with whatever small behavior you think is your biggest issue and don't worry about the others. I gave a quick tip for each behavior. For example, I used to swivel in my chair and shift my posture a lot until somebody pointed it out. Now, I plant my feet and I don't swivel. Start small and practice.

Hello

The voice pitch… I grew up around females who had a broken super high pitch and then lower pitch tone. They used the high pitch to criticise or say their disapproval, but also used it to make someone think they were harmless or nice (not while criticising) but l have a low tolerance to pitches , when l hear women mostly, change their pitch, and go really high pitch, l cringe and think something in them is clenching and they are not being truly themselves. I have however noticed in me using higher pitch when slightly uncomfortable, but l hadn’t noticed it till l recorded it and managed to forget l was recording myself…something l want to neutralise and get to balance in the tone of the voice. Bill gates: ’ I have already answered this so many times, l am so tired of being asked how l feel about having accepted a diner (or two) with Jeffrey Eimpstein, l already said l regretted it, and have no more to say about this(and all the kiddies) 😂🎉

Kennedy's Rice Staduim Space Speech?

This list is accurate, but also sad because of just how many of these - pretty much all of them - often feature in the behavior of neurodivergent people. It's no wonder neurodivergent people are treated with so much bigotry, aversion and mistrust by neurotypical people.

Touching nose goes with Pinocchio

The word lying. Maybe should be replaced with deception.

Im a leg shaker 😂 I will do it without knowing. When I realise that I am doing it, its usually because I am agitated with certain company and restraining myself from telling them that they don't know what they are talking about or their opinion is ignorant but no point telling them because they just wouldn't get it. Or...I'm bored now, get the hell away from me 😂 Or...I'm angry with you because of your stupidity😂 Never because I'm lying! Well...I am really though because I'm pretending to not be pissed with you 😂

These habits you’re covering in this video, are some of the habits, you covered in a previous video. In that video your thesis was, there are no body language signs that can determine whether somebody is telling the truth or being deceptive. That body language interpretations are a 50/50 guess. In most part. I’m confused about the premise of this video. 👍👍👍👍👍😎

@alexanderlyon

20 күн бұрын

You are exactly right about the other video. The trouble is, the vast majority of people falsely believe these behaviors indicate deception. Therefore, it's still best to avoid these behaviors because they will hurt your credibility. The conclusions people will jump to will be unfair, but we can't manage their perception. We can only manage our own behaviors.

the nose thing that dude did, Bloody koke nose...lol

Shaking leg? Magnesium? Or a Civics course and different parents 😆

Gaze Aversion ........Here in NZ our indigenous people group (Maori) do not make eye contact as a form of respect!

@alexanderlyon

11 ай бұрын

Yes, different cultures handle eye contact differently.

All autistic and ADHD people watching this: "Oh man, I am so screwed." Numbers 3, 5, 6, 7, 8 and 9 😰

Referring the Communist‘s “nose touching” behavior may be his base line. So. Maybe analyzing base Line behavior that is not positive behavior should be addressed separately. Because these are unconscious behaviors. And in a conversation, unconscious behaviors can’t be controlled. ??

@alexanderlyon

3 ай бұрын

I did a related video on this that I mentioned in this one. Nose touching (or really any of the behaviors mentioned in this video) are not signs of deception one way or another. Like you said, people do these unconsciously. The reason I made this video is because many people mistakenly believe these are signs of deception (even though they aren't). So, these behaviors hurt our credibility either way. In that light, it doesn't matter to onlookers if his nose touching is his baseline or not. Other people may notice it and jump to the wrong conclusion.

How to communicate/understand an autistic person.

BodyLanguageGhost might disagree with some of these; let the war commence!

@alexanderlyon

11 ай бұрын

I've never seen a video fro that channel. I'm sure it's great. To be clear, however, I didn't invent this list. It is drawn from decades worth of research. I posted a really long video about nonverbal communication, "body language," and deception. Here's a link: kzread.info/dash/bejne/c3WHwbKpl9zWdZM.html

@RetroMMA

11 ай бұрын

@@alexanderlyon I'll be sure to check it out. Thanks!

Ben Shapiro can't pitch higher or speak any faster😂

This is the business equivalent of the incessant attempt by the social justice left to gradually trim away the parts of our behaviour that we don't like. Be who you are and things will work themselves out.

Zizek has Tourette’s syndrome (as do I). He’s not being dishonest …

@alexanderlyon

11 ай бұрын

Never said he was being dishonest. I said some people perceive that he may be dishonest because of the nose touching. That's the point of the video: People jump to unfair conclusion because people mistakenly believe that behaviors like that are connected to lying. That's a myth.

@pinecone421

11 ай бұрын

@@alexanderlyon Yes you are right. I guess I was replying more to what your friend said. Either that or I misheard you. Either way, I agree. Sorry if I misconstrued you!

’ pro-communist philosopher? ’

@alexanderlyon

7 ай бұрын

Yes, Slavoj Žižek is the person featured in the clip. That's what he's known for. He's written He's written dozens of books from that perspective. I don't agree with a word he says. I'm a capitalist. But that's his message,

In my case, and perhaps even in the case of the "nose scratcher", its my mustache and a stray hair that's curled up and lightly scratching my nose. It is totally annoying. lol

This is quackery and not a real profession.

Stop saying god bless

@alexanderlyon

11 ай бұрын

Nope. I'm a committed Christian. I love Jesus. If I lose subscribers because of it, I'm fine with that.

Excellent

Hello

@alexanderlyon

11 ай бұрын

Hello!

@urgonusla1450

11 ай бұрын

@@alexanderlyon Hola!