Thank you. The neurological response you explained is the missing link for me. Now I understand that my return to old feelings and reactions is so much more than me not “getting over” the past and “hanging on” to negative thoughts; I try, but some experiences throw me back to childhood responses without me being able to mentally stop the reaction. Hyper vigilance is me, a lot!

@llbailey9946

8 ай бұрын

The book, "The Body Keeps Score" helped with the physical & neurological symptoms a lot.

My father (RIP) always made sure the fridge, basement freezer and pantry were stocked with food, overstocked, even. He explained to me that he would never allow times to become so bad that the memory would creep up of him and his brothers picking through the neighborhood waste bins (and drinking evaporated milk leftovers) the night before trash day because they were starving… I cried for his inner child.

@musicman76enator

8 ай бұрын

My mom was the same. She was a hoarder and when it came to food, we ALWAYS had a stockpile of food, drinks, meds, supplies, etc. She would overstock it too. Unfortunately it got the best of her in her later years when she got diagnosed with cancer. She eventually lost track of things and we has all this expired food, drinks, meds, etc. It was awful. It took me a few days to go through everything after her passing.

@plantyfan

8 ай бұрын

I didn't put it together but I bet that's why I keep everything full. We had to do without and now as an adult, I'm making sure we don't ever have that issue.

@iahelcathartesaura3887

8 ай бұрын

My step grandfather too. He did well in his adult life though, good job, built a nice house on very nice property & more. I was an adult or almost so before I ever learned that they had eaten out of trash cans when he was a child.

@jasonfitzpatrick414

9 күн бұрын

Hunger changes everything. Nothing else matters.

This is so true. No matter how much money I have in my bank account, I feel like I’m on the verge of losing everything.

@Chapps1941

8 ай бұрын

I had money in my account. I remember it was 2018.

@garbagekid09

8 ай бұрын

Same here

WHY hasn't ANYONE ELSE seen this???? I am 65, retired, and scared sh*tless because I was too scared to save any money because I was afraid I would lose it all ! I haven't even watched the video yet and just knowing that someone SEES what I have gone through in my life is such a ray of hope, thank you!!

@garypeterson6849

7 ай бұрын

"May God bless you with grace, mercy, healing, abundance and protection with the full armor of God in Jesus Christ glorious name AMEN" ❤ 🕊 ☺ 😉

I’m so curious why some people with unresolved childhood trauma can find themselves in healthy, secure long term relationships and the rest of us can’t. His upbringing sounds more traumatizing than mine, yet he has his stuff together for the most part..

@ShamikaLMoore

8 ай бұрын

I think awareness and communication are the key. If you can pinpoint where triggers are coming from and voice your needs, you can be a better potential partner. Also, this writer seems very self aware and cut off his mother early on. I think that was the best decision he could have made, to give himself space to heal.

@TheJvm32470

8 ай бұрын

I’m in a 5 - year loving relationship. For me it’s simply a matter of I found and chose the right person. My spouse doesn’t have this trauma, they can remain calm and cool and not add to my disregulation. I do believe that as damaged as we are, there’s still someone out there for us. But be aware, and very purposeful in your choice of partners.

@MrChachiyo

8 ай бұрын

They find patient and loving other's that see beyond the trauma and right into the heart/mind of them. I know this from being the one who overlooked all of the madness to show love.

@yehmen29

8 ай бұрын

Check out Dr Boris Cyrulnik. He is a psychiatrist who specializes in childhood trauma, he wrote several books about his ideas, one of them titled 'Ugly Little Ducklings' (they go on to become beautiful swans if you know the story). His own childhood was pretty traumatic, his parents were Baltic States Jews who had fled to France to escape the pogroms, he was born in France but then the Germans invaded France, and because they were dirt poor, his parents were unable to emigrate to a safe country. They were arrested by the French police while he was at school, the police were lazy and instead of going to the school to arrest the kid they decided to wait for him to come home, which enabled a neighbour to go out into the street to meet him and to smuggle him into the building, passing him off as her own son. She then got a touch with a priest who was in the Resistance and found a place for him to hide in the countryside. He was only at primary school and had a very unhappy childhood. His parents were sent to the gas chamber as soon as they arrived at the concentration camp. Boris Cyrulnik says that what enabled him to overcome his trauma was that he had 'des tuteurs de resilience' during his childhood, i.e. he had a few adults who were safe to be around and who supported him and parented him. He says that anyone can play that role: a schoolteacher, another kid's parent, a neighbour, a distant relative... As a very young man he was lucky to meet a woman with whom he fell in love and who loved him back, and that also enabled him to heal. His ideas were not welcome in France (he is not enthusiastic at all about psychotropes, benzos etc. for people like himself) and he ended up working overseas, especially in Romanian orphanages after 1989. He's an extremely humane guy.

@aimeeamigone2717

8 ай бұрын

I know right?

Marks story is heartbreaking. I'm choking up as I am typing this. When we come into this world we are innocent children. No one should have to go through what Mark went through. He said, financially he's doing ok. I wish Mark the best and hopefully he heals mentally from the trauma he endured as a child. It's hard, I'm 60 and only in the last few years realized the trauma I endured as a kid has DEFINITELY affected my life in so many negative ways. I'm working on it. Thankfully between my wife and 2 grown sons and Grandchildren, I look at things more positive now. Good luck to EVERYONE suffering from childhood trauma. I wish you all well.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

8 ай бұрын

Thank you for sharing your encouragement for the letter-writer and for others! Glad you are a part of our community here! Nika@TeamFairy

Hypervigilance is a tough one. I am 52 and still in this mode. My parents made enough, but Dad's drinking and showing off with fancy cars, and motorhome, atv's, boats while our power got shut off, let alone "hiding" the motorhome so they cannot re-po it was insane. I remember the bill collectors calling non stop. A house of cards. They retired and us kids had to constantly bail them out of money stuff. I cut the cord of enabling and my siblings quit speaking to me being so "mean" to Dad. It's called a boundary and creating good money habits with my kids. I always feel I never make enough and do I deserve a decent stress free life with money.

@nightbaby5101

8 ай бұрын

I'm hypervigilant, too, but not for the same reasons. Seems like I can sense hard times coming (but not at all psychic enough to know what will cause them). So, I just keep a list of potentially useful items, activities etc. in difficult times and try to do what needs to be done and keep a few things stocked. Keeps my hypervigilant tendencies less... uhmm... hyper😂

@summero-my5in

8 ай бұрын

I had the exact same situation as you!

I gambled away my inheritance and left debt and mess behind. Despite of being a hard worker my whole life. My trauma has manifested in many addictions and I find comfort and peace in creative writing. Thank you Anna for your channel! You are truly doing God's work.

@garypeterson6849

7 ай бұрын

AMEN ❤ Anna has been a blessing for us all, I pray you find healing through your creative writing, it's a beautiful way to express yourself, "I pray God blesses you each and every day of your life, in Jesus Christ glorious name AMEN" 🕊

A lot of people that went thru the Great Depression have this same issue. My grandmother grew up very very poor and became a hoarder when she had money and could buy things. She bought double of triple of the same thing bc she was scared of not having it.

Wow your title spoke to me before I even watched the video! I have always taken care of myself. Never married, never lived with anyone else, etc. I never thought of it until recently it’s a trauma response. I’m still scared to death. And my life isn’t perfect, I’m not a millionaire, but I’m still deathly afraid of losing my ability to provide for myself. Thank you. This gives me something to discuss with my therapist. I’m 54 years old. The insanity has to stop at some point. I would like to truly relax for once in my life. ❤️❤️❤️❤️

@soozs

8 ай бұрын

Thank you for sharing. I’m 56 and, even though we have different details, the result is the same. It’s likely at least once every day, when I’m doing the daily practice, I write, “I have fear I’m not going to be able to provide for myself”. It’s clearly a deep concern, and I often wonder if the result is that I’m actually paralyzed with fear. It truly blows!! Sending you my best for your journey. ❤

@adcap631

8 ай бұрын

@@soozs Me too, I'm 63 and still hypervigilant. I now, rather that getting impatient with my anxiety, become the understanding parent to a scared little boy who was unloved within the chaos. Most people just don't get it. By 'taking' his hand, reassuring him that I'm looking after him now, and that he was right to be vigilant when young, I'm gradually learning to reparent myself and trust that things really are better. But as Anna has said, C-PTSD, the gift that keeps on giving...

@tiakore7524

8 ай бұрын

Same here.

my hypervigilance shows up when i am cooking. I overcook because i will think i will still be starving and then i end up wasting food because i cooked too much and when i am cooking. I also overbuy food, and i get intrusive thoughts that something will happen and i would have to go back to my childhood home... it is horrible living with the effects of trauma

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

8 ай бұрын

Trauma-driven thinking can be discouraging. But never forget: Healing is possible! -Cara@TeamFairy

@nightbaby5101

8 ай бұрын

I understand. I began presure canning soups because I, too, overbought - habitually! I still do sometimes... it's a hard habit to break. Now, though, I toss the excess into canned foods rather than into the compost heap or the garbage. Maybe you could do that.

@musicman76enator

8 ай бұрын

I overbuy food too. I've been over buying food ever since covid started because I have this really bad fear that the grocery stores are the restaurants are going to close down or they're going to run out of food because of say a lockdown, weather related incident, severely reduced hours, etc. I've been working with a therapist on this for the last few months. It has not been easy. Mostly because I've been so used to being a Hermit and stockpiling food, drinks, etc. It's a behavior that I got into when the lockdowns began 3 years ago.

@musicman76enator

8 ай бұрын

I also have a fear of starving as well. I know that there's food around and I have access to it but I always get that fear that I'm not going to get the food and then I'm going to go hungry. It's an experience I had when my mom was sick with cancer. When she got sick I had to rely on others to get food because I didn't know how to cook. I couldn't even figure out the snack situation. She was basically the main provider of everything and when she became incapacitated it just wrecked me. My dad was not around either so that made it even harder. I suffer a lot of trauma because of it.

@nightbaby5101

8 ай бұрын

@@musicman76enator @musicman76enator so many of us are still affected by memories of all we experienced during and after the pandemic. It was truly horrifying. That, combined with the trauma you experienced due to loss of your dear mother and your many subsequent struggles are most understandable and I hope with all my heart that your future days will lessen your grief and that you'll never face food shortages again. Discuss with your therapist how you can become food-shortage trauma-proof. As you become so, I'm sure you'll begin having more mental space for learning how to ease the agonizing and ongoing trauma of losing your dear mother. ❤

I am hypervigilant about money and feel like I could just lose it all and my home overnight and it cripples me quite a lot. I grew up with emotionally immature parents and probably being financially stable was the most stability I had. The bullying by my Dad and the enabling of him by my Mum (my Mum treated him like a God) has really damaged me though. I'm nearly 50 years old and it's with me everyday. Things have got better since my Dad passed away last year but I still have trouble relating to my Mum.

@24-7flounderproblem

8 ай бұрын

This is my life story exactly...I'm 49.

@thatotherguy1

8 ай бұрын

Me too. I'm constantly worrying about things that MIGHT happen. I've been trying to get in the mindset of living for the day but it's hard because I've always planned for the future.

@mtnshelby7059

8 ай бұрын

Im also hypervigilent about money and being concerned my paid off home is going to be taken away, all my investments gone, etc. Absurd really.

@hwbusse

8 ай бұрын

Wow this is exactly my experience as well.

Please keep talking about money!! We love (and need) it

@Bananabanananabanana

8 ай бұрын

Yes❤❤

49 y/o male here. Just learning about all this stuff. My system is definitely doing things thta my mind isn't controlling. This video resinates big time. Being ex military, the hyper vigilence is on steroids it seems like.

A few years ago, my family got to a point where we could be financially stable and secure for, really, the first time in our lives. Then, someone did something stupid and it all got taken away. It feels shameful, embarrassing, and traumatic. I am so glad you uploaded this video because I am still dealing with the fallout.

@jds0981

8 ай бұрын

This was my family dynamic. My gambling-addicted Father was the ever-present threat of financial instability, and he ultimately lost it all. I think I've internalized that dynamic, so I periodically do stupid stuff to sabotage myself. I'm working on this now. I'm looking at retirement. And I choose to believe it's never too late to heal and grow and get better.

@ronnimarcinkowey9771

8 ай бұрын

It’s terrible to be made to feel vulnerable be the victim of the collateral damage of people are supposed to protect you. You’re not alone-you have you. Take care of you like they should have.

I did EmDR like Anna did and it was very helpful, also neurofeedback was helpful but my break through with hyper vigilance came with prayer and the realization that I had survived the worst and I could again. Fear of what could happen is the trigger to hyper vigilance. You don't need to fear, you know you are a survivor.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

8 ай бұрын

Thank you for sharing your words of encouragement! Nika@TeamFairy

The thing about losing everything is that after you do, there is nothing left to fear. Honestly there is something liberating about this! Lost $$, family, health, friends, home, and job. Have me, lots of alone time to heal, and it is a good thing I can prove to myself I can be there for myself. It IS helping. People always said I was doing everything right, hang in there, things will get better. They did not. Even worse is when I am told to reach out for help. Be vulnerable. Don’t be afraid to ask! Bad ideas!! It makes the few remaining friends run the other way as fast as possible.

@soozs

8 ай бұрын

We are in the same boat. God bless you.

@Onthe9thlife3730

8 ай бұрын

That's not how trauma works, that fear doesn't magically go away once the worst thing happens.

@thecoldglassofwatershow

8 ай бұрын

Yup, reaching out and asking for help was some of the worst things I did, I should have ALWAYS relied on myself. People don’t come through, or even sabotage you when they see you need help.

@lightitup33333

8 ай бұрын

@@Onthe9thlife3730 the fear has not gone, but I am not walking on egg shells with the most important people to me because they bought into the isolation tactics.

@WildAlchemicalSpirit

7 ай бұрын

Feeling this

Definitely. I grew up seeing our cars get repossessed, having to quit baseball and bowling because my parents couldn’t afford it, not being able to answer the phone in case it was a bill collector, having to pretend we weren’t home when the paper delivery guy came because we didn’t have his $6.50, getting teased in school for wearing secondhand clothes, hearing my parents fight about money constantly, etc. And I definitely didn’t want to repeat that, especially after having a kid myself. My marriage was doomed regardless, but my financial vigilance didn’t help any

@Chapps1941

8 ай бұрын

I was never allowed to play sport ...... in case l enjoyed it.

I grew up in a pretty unstable environment, too. Only 5 different schools but I was constantly passed around between relatives and family friends. In the end, the anxiety from my trauma and having to start work at 17 to gain independence from my family caused me to drop out of school. I'm amazed that this person did so well for himself. Personally, I never learned to stop moving. I'm 26 and I've never stayed anywhere longer than 2 years, usually I move on every 12 months. I feel like I'm an inch away from homelessness any minute. It's so hard to heal when you're not financially stable, and it's so hard to be financially stable when you can barely get through the day. There was a period where i worked myself to the bone to save up so I could study and ended up with a grand total of 10k - and then COVID caused me to lose every dollar. Sometimes I honestly don't know if all of this is even worth it.

It is a miracle that I am still here after 53 years.. 1) I was molested by a "friend" at age 12,2) a verbally abusive father,3) a devastating car accident that led to a Traumatic Brain Injury -( TBI) as well as several physical injuries that have left me partially disabled at age 26 and 4) the murder of a dear female friend by her fiance at age 44.... And even though I am able to live on my own with public assistsnce and finally obtaining SSDI -(Social Security Disability Income) as well as zero debts.. I still have fears of losing everything and ending up on the side of the street... Needless to say I am extremely hypervigilant...

@Chapps1941

8 ай бұрын

I hear that and l understand.

@tomtbi

8 ай бұрын

@@Chapps1941 thank you..

@tomtbi

8 ай бұрын

@yupyup3878 thank you..

@vibesz

8 ай бұрын

I’m sorry you had such a hard life. I too have been through the ringer and actually lost my dad, my good health, and my savings with 6 months. I’m still unemployed although I’m a professional. My only safety net to get me through this? Faith in the Living God who gives me supernatural peace and strength

Imagine being this children who witness war their entire lives

I’m sorry for all the terrible things I’ve read in the comments. I hate y’all had to go through all that. I’m getting better about hyper vigilance. A year ago I was doing room checks before bed, and checking windows in rooms I considered weak spots that criminals would likely use as entry points. I’d check under each bed and look in every closet. My wife called it “checking for monsters.” Around the same time I was out of town at my sister’s place, and as the sun started setting, I became very aware of people walking by, as well as people in other apartments ability to see us inside. She noticed I was terribly uncomfortable, fidgeting and looking around the room for a tactical advantage in case something violent from outside went down. I asked if I could close the blinds. After I did, she said “what’s wrong?” I uncontrollably burst into tears and said, “I have hyper vigilance.” The weird thing is that I have never been in the military, or the victim of sudden violence as an adult. But, decades ago my dad’s brother molested my sisters and several female cousins. When I told my dad what he’d done, he didn’t do anything at all, and my mom yelled at me. I’ve come to the conclusion that since deep inside I realized my parents didn’t have my back, that I developed hyper vigilance to make myself feel safe. That’s my guess.

@CynthiaAva

8 ай бұрын

I can relate to this. Thank you for sharing.

@storycharms

8 ай бұрын

You sound like a very caring and responsible person, a real blessing for those around you. I'm so sorry your very normal and natural instinct to protect the vulnerable members of your family was dismissed and invalidated by the one person you should have been most able to rely on for support. In my opinion, your dad was mistaken in choosing to ignore your warning and you were right to raise the alarm. It doesn't seem surprising that your young developing mind interpreted that past event as a signal that if *you* weren't constantly watching out for the safety of others, nobody else would step up.

@recollectionsofinvisiblechild

8 ай бұрын

@@storycharms thank you

@jds0981

8 ай бұрын

"I realized my parents didn't have my back", is so incredibly helpful. As a child of narcissistic parents, that statement is my childhood in a nutshell. I never felt completely safe, I knew my safety net was conditional and had big holes in it.

@recollectionsofinvisiblechild

8 ай бұрын

I’d like to add a bit more information: I don’t live in a high crime area. Neither does my sister. In fact, where I live is consistently ranked as very safe, so it shows you the twisted affect that negative childhood experiences can have on your outlook, regardless of reality. Also, my childhood experiences have a very negative affect on my spiritual life. I realize some reading this may be atheist, and I understand where you are coming from in most cases, and I’m not trying to stir anyone up by mentioning God, but without going into too much detail, I often think God relates and reacts to me the way my parents did. And that’s not good. I suffered spiritual abuse from churches as well, in a big way at times. I started to make videos documenting not only my spiritual abuse, but that of others that I witnessed, but I physically relive all of that when I recall it, and it makes me breakout in rashes and feel more awful than normal. Anyway, thanks for listening and commenting.

I have never felt at home anywhere. Not even in my own home. Nothing feels permanent.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

8 ай бұрын

I hear you. Very much.

@genevalawrence801

8 ай бұрын

You are not alone in this. ((HUG))

@NothingToSeeHere1141

8 ай бұрын

I'm right there where you are. I bought my first house under my own steam 9.5 years ago. I've never painted or hung pictures. It doesn't feel like home. Justa building I happen to make mortgage payments on, keep my stuff and have shelter for me and my pets. My mom made fun of me to my sister behind my back because I haven't even hung pictures. Even after all of these years I know this could all be lost in a second. It's constant fear and it's very unsettling.

@cjsrescues

8 ай бұрын

@NothingToSeeHere1141 that's exactly the way I feel and am. I want to feel at home, but I just can't. Thank you for sharing your story with me. I don't feel so alone.

I will turn 40 next month. I have a lot of depts and no job. Last weekend I was on vacation which I planned for 20 years. We were in an amusement park and even I was on almost every roller coaster last year, I almost shit my pants getting on the first one. And I mean it, I almost shit myself. I was able so far to win the battle against depressions, social phobia and ulcerative colitis. After beeing a long time in therapy and meditating every day, I found out, that my parents left me alone as a baby. I was crying for hours and 6 years ago same happened to me after a serious accident. I got no meds for 12 hours after the surgery and there was no doctor in the night shift to gave me some in this hospital. After that I had to walk on crutches for 3 months and only to put my foot on the floor could mean I had to do a new surgery. No pressure on my leg at all, that's what the doctors said. For 3 months! I live on the second floor without a lift. So basically you had to jump very high stairs on your one leg and the other one was a raw egg. Its 36 steps to my appartement. As a child I experienced a lot of violence from both of my parents, I luckily and unfortunately have no siblings. I wish sometimes I could share my pain with someone. Well after the accident I developed ulcerative colitis, because all I did is to put all my pain away. Last year I faced it and it turns out: I have a lot of fear in me! And even I could handle carousels and roller coaster last year, while having flare ups afterwards. This year I can't, the fear is so bad, I almost shit my pants while waiting in line. To know that there is no way out of a situation, like waiting in a line, where you can't go or beeing in hospital without beeing able to walk or planing something just to find out a new flare up starts and you will shit blood for the next moths, this is such a personal hell! A situation where I have no escape! Like when I was a child and we lived in this one room appartement, where you just couldn't hide! This eats me alive!

I too am hyper vigilant. It is exhausting. Thank you for sharing skills to help us cope. I want to let you know that from the first time I saw you I was so impressed with how REAL you are. It is obvious that you care deeply for others. You are blessing so many lives💕

This is ME in a nutshell. The hypervigilance rules me.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

8 ай бұрын

Thank you for watching. Glad you are here. If you haven't already, try Anna's Daily Practice. It is the technique that led to Anna’s own healing, and she uses it to this day. bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice Nika@TeamFairy

This does resonate with me, (thank you) and probably lots of folks. I attended 7 Elementary schools, 11 schools total graduating at 16. I was bullied at school (and at home) but school was my refuge. My Father passed when I was 13. My siblings & I all moved out by 17. To date I've moved approx. 26 times in 18 cities, 3 states, and 2 countries, across seas, countries & continents too, big moves. All my life, I've had this irrational fear of becoming a "Bag Lady." I also seemed to have a belief that if I unpack all my boxes or hang up all my Art, I'll have to move again. Right now I'm in the process of de-cluttering and organizing, so it's all coming up. This Winter I plan to plant trees across the back fence, putting down roots, (even though I'm still a renter). I still dream of buying a home someday, so I may move once more, hopefully for the last time. EMDR sounds good, thanks for mentioning it. Thanks for your videos, they do help us out here in the world...

@Chapps1941

8 ай бұрын

I'm 64 and I've had 67 addresses. 29 by the time I was 16. I actually lived in one place for 8 years.

I also get the hypervigilance and fear of losing everything and I find it reassuring to have a budget and a ledger book. I set aside every payday for all monthly expenses and I divide up annual expenses so as to put aside for on each payday. I have columns for each expense so I can reassure myself at a glance how I am doing. Also a column for savings. Family dysfunction and abuse really keeps you in fear.

Hypervigilant around money✋

My childhood was chaotic too like many, many others. I have CPTSD. I get extremely hyper vigilant and sometimes isolate heavily. I also have panic attacks weekly. Due to other added trauma as well. But I remember as a kid being in places not very long. Leaving in the night. I am a huge work in progress. Not giving up.

EMDR has helped me a ton with these kinds of bodily/thoughtloop symptoms. It is completely calming down my body’s baseline levels

This is so true. Went through roughly 15 years ...being mistreated by abusers I was married to. Got separated and finally legally out of it. Still the depression and anxiety are persistent. Trying to make a living and getting better... yet not able to shake this feeling... that am gonna loose everything all over again. God forbid! Gives me scary nightmares too.😮 So thanks for this useful post from you... Feel validated... n will try to give myself time to heal properly ...given that it's raw.

Childhood trauma has plagued me with home & food insecurity, financial insecurity, hyper vigilance & imposter syndrome..This is so relevant. Your videos CBT & Recently A.R.T. (Accelerated resolution therapy) Thank you😢❤

Oh this is perfect!! Thoughts and fears about money and losing my house have plagued me for many years. As I got older and started working, I’ve been waiting for the proverbial other shoe to drop. I have money in the bank, (not as much as I would like, but have been taking steps to remedy that)….but that hyper vigilance still hangs on.

Doesn't matter. I have lost everything. No-one gives me work. I'm into my 7th year of not working. Oh joy! Another 6 years to when l was going to retire. I look at 4 walls most days. The beach is half hour away and l go there every 3 or 4 days. I'm trying to do the Daily Practice but depression gets the better of me most days. I can't stand this much more.

@ilsevanheerden4976

8 ай бұрын

Hang in there ❤

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

8 ай бұрын

That sounds hard! You’re in the right place. -Cara@TeamFairy

@pippilongstocking-qs7fm

8 ай бұрын

I'm on my 7th year without steady work as well. If you're physically able, have you considered dog walking or in home doggy care for vacationers? Please don't give in

@TopSecretInformations

7 ай бұрын

I feel you. What the hell we gotta do to kill severe depression? rob a bank to be able to afford expensive poison pills to chow down every day? I hate pills. I might be down for robbing a bank though, but we can't talk about it online.

Ive always been called stingey but have come to realise its a trauma response to becoming self sufficient, home owner, stable job and a good mother. This MUST continue, its in my blood to thrive....all because i dont ever want to rely on my parents or anyone else that can have some kind of control over me

Alcoholic mom and sober for 497 days for hopefully for good. One day at a time. Find supportive friends. The issue i for me is the hypervigilance sucks the brain and I feel its this that really causes dementia. I have a good relationship with 2 sons. My oldest dies 5 years ago from a massive heart and that propelled me to where I am. God is where I get my comfort. I pray for healing for us all. Thanks Anna!

Thank you for helping me realize there are others out there who have also gone through childhood trauma. Every experience is different, yet, I realize that many are similar. I am 77 and still struggling with the past. I won''t discuss what my experiences were because it is so painful that it takes many days to recover from even thinking about it. Thanks again.

I didn't know this was called something! Hyper-vigilance. I'm always scared I'm going to be homeless, any day now. Just any day, any time. It's going to happen that I'll be living out of my car, or moving to SF to go live with my sister and all her kids... It's not like my finances are doing so well, but when they get really bad, I just can't stop being afraid of it happening. Maybe it's totally rational, in reality.

This is great and helpful analysis. I became aware of my hypervigilace from childhood after years of therapy. It took me a divorce to get there, actually living through that nightmare of abandonment again after I'd seemingly done everything to ensure my life was completely different than what i came from. That was an especially dangerous state to be in. I'm so thankful I got through all of this. Much love to anybody out there struggling, and especially all of the children suffering now.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

8 ай бұрын

Great to hear you're in the better place now. Thank you for your words of encouragement to others. I'm glad you are a part of our community here! Nika@TeamFairy

Anna, thank you for sharing this. I didn't know anything about Hyper Vigilance until this video. I've suffered from this most of my adult life and ONLY LATELY realize that I am better off MENTALLY if i don't worry about the "what ifs". It's hard because I've always been a planner for the future and try to stay one step ahead. I want to thank you for your videos. Some people don't realize the devastation of growing up in an unstable home. Have a good day.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

8 ай бұрын

Thanks for watching and for your comment! Glad you are a part of our community here! Nika@TeamFairy

The timing of your videos is uncanny. I spent all of today stewing in my anxiety for the future. I've lived with my parents my whole life and I've been saving money for quite some time. I'm sitting on a decent pile of savings and I'm ready to move out finally. However, the thought of doing anything with my savings is paralyzing. I want to invest but I'm afraid I'll make the wrong decisons. I want to buy a place but I don't want to spend everything on one thing. Sitting on my savings makes me nervous with rampant inflation but doing anything with it also scares me. Sigh.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

8 ай бұрын

Thanks for watching. Daily Practice is a good tool to help sort out things like this. Give it a try if you’re interested: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice Nika@TeamFairy

@Onthe9thlife3730

8 ай бұрын

I recommend looking into the FIRE community, financial independence retire early (though the E can stand for elective and most people end up focusing on the FI part and take a slow journey rather than hunkering down and powering through for retirement). Bloggers for FIRE go through their journeys and some will list what they've invested in and why and how they've mitigated risk or managing risk. So picking several people in your country and seeing what they do/how they do it before taking that knowledge and applying it to your own situation. Personal finance is personal after all. Don't pay for any courses though, if someone is spruking a course avoid them, FIRE people may put out recommendations for things that eased their journeys but they always put lots of caveats on it and give out their knowledge or processes for free.

I was relieved to see some older people in the comments (I'm 69) . Hypervigilant has been the story of my life! Afraid of losing home, possessions, not having enough food. I lived in 13 different homes by the time I was 18, alcoholic father, 3 siblings, I'm the oldest, never enough food, cupboards and fridge empty a lot. I am never completely secure in a relationship (widow now)....I'm hypervigilant almost every day, living in one bedroom with a counter in the laundry room for a pseudo kitchen currently, out in the middle of nowhere where, can't afford anything else. I have owned 3 homes and lost them for various reasons out of my control. At least I have a 'label' now and I definitely know why.....problem is how to fix it before I exit this plane....would be nice to have some peace🙏

omg. this hit me hard!! I hope you continue to heal and have success, Mark. I swore to myself as a kid that I'd never be poor again (I realize now that I wasn't really as poor as I thought, etc). I have kept my word to myself and I have "enough" and I'm not poor. However, it doesn't feel like enough and I worry about losing it. I'd love to get past this and thrive!!

Super helpful video and the comment section is super validating. Anna, please consider doing a "better late than never" video for us older folks on this journey.

Wow, this guy's story. It's so hard and sad to listen to, and to imagine that children grow up in families with unstable environments like this... So, so sad. 😔

These are the kinds of stories that helps us understand we weren't the only kids suffering - even though at the time we felt we were all alone in this world. That aloneness has caused me a lot of sadness as well as a host of other issues. I've never had people able to understand my life or circumstances growing up and even though I'm 38 already, I've only ever had 1 friend that also experienced poverty and trauma. People mean well, but when they tell you "I completely understand, we also battled poverty" (and you find out their mom only bought them sweets on special days to teach them discipline. But to them that meant they were poor cos they couldn't have sweets every day) it creates a resentment and frustration that runs pretty deep. People WANT to think they suffered, and when you hear their accounts, it's mind-boggling they're actually serious? I once had a colleague tell me "we were dirt poh growing up". I later found out the reason she said this was because they couldn't keep their horses anymore and had to downsize to a one story house. Growing up amongst privileged people is really difficult when you stick out like a sore thumb. I remember watching my peers, seeing what they had, going to their houses and seeing furniture, possessions, full fridges, seeing 2-car homes, holiday getaways, pocket money/allowance, medical comforts, braces had when needed, family support - and it was ALL foreign to me. To this day, I never fit in anywhere - even though I'm doing okay (i.e my kid isn't hungry and has all she needs). It's hard not to be angry at the suffering of some when others have no idea. But I'm working on it, and my heart goes out to Mike. I hope he finds his peace soon. To all the people who truly understand real trauma, poverty, neglect, abuse, hunger: i am so sorry for your suffering. I pray that one day you find true peace - and that it comes in time for you to still be able to enjoy your life. Xxx

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

8 ай бұрын

Thank you for sharing your experience with us, and thank you for your encouragement for others! If you're interested, Daily Practice is a great way to process fears and resentment. You can try it free here: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice Nika@TeamFairy

boy did i need this today. i lived by myself in nyc for 8 years (hyperindependence much?) and in leaving an abusive job (that heavily reflected the family i grew up with) i'm staying with extended family while i look for work, which hasn't been successful in the past few months. i just had a nice talk with them today about how they are not judging me for having a pause in my life, and i expressed my fear of running out of resources (specifically food and money!).

Ugh this feeling. This channel is so valuable.

Good work, Anna! Wise words from someone who knows what she is talking about. It is a big gift to explain how this works, as good parents would. It is embarrassing to physically startle at something so innocent as a neighbor in the elevator when the door opens. My favorite tactic, when noticing hypervigilent fear, is to "check for bears", as it calls me into the present truth. It is as though my inner child often needs the reassurance of my divine inner mother honestly looking around and announcing with a laugh, "Nope, no bears" (to myself, not my neighbors!). It is a way to integrate something I haven't been able to cure. My good neighbors of decades chuckle at me jumping about nothing.

@daisyviluck7932

8 ай бұрын

I have an exaggerated startle reflex, too. I have some workarounds, but sometimes it’s just embarrassing 😏

I so deeply relate to most of the Comments. Sadly I married an only child entitled brat with little sense of responsibilty. He was fired 14 times in 10yrs and his mother just says "they don't appreciate how special you are" .... sigh. The daily destabilizing is getting worse. I have no "home" anymore, just a storage unit house. I've started saying I would be better off alone, that ALL I want right now is safety. Echoes of running away and so many nights hiding in the barn as a child....

This video helped me see that I have some of this hypervigilance going on now in ways I hadn't recognized. So helpful!! I don't think I've really faced this particular fear of losing everything, but I think I've been living it since my rent increased a couple years ago. Thanks for mentioning this kind of fear around food! Always over-buying it. I get so much from your videos Anna, thank you so much.

I survived child abuse. Im still in therapy. I left a safe foster home at 13. But i had a younger sister. Who was being raised by our abusive mother. I moved in with them. To keep my sister safe.

This one hit home. Hard. My dad was a self employed dry alcoholic, who would unpredictably relapse every few years. During these times my mother, brother and I tried to keep up the facade that everything was OK. To protect the family and my fathers business, our only source of income. And hoping that dad would come out of his drinking spell before we lost him and everything else. Several times we were very close. My dad died at age 50 when I was 22. We lost house and business and everything. After stabilizing this situation we all went our own ways. The feeling of fear and insecurity stuck with me for my whole life. At age 58 it's still well and alive and can sent me into sheer panic, depression and insomnia out of nowhere.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

8 ай бұрын

Thanks so much for sharing! You might like Daily Practice. It is a technique that helps calm triggers, and it is a great way to process fears and resentment. bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice Nika@TeamFairy

@LaLaObeRoT

8 ай бұрын

@@CrappyChildhoodFairy Thank you.

My mother died an unrecovered alcoholic at 96, lost interest in it with all the morphine in her last days. Her doctors gave up decades ago. She was present off and on; her main moods were anger, blame and sadness, except for hilarity when her friends were around. My dad covered for her, while he saw another woman and criticized my brother and I. In 2017 I lived in the catastrophic Thomas Fire burn in California. We evacuated, lost nothing, while our neighbors' property burned flat. My home now is in a more extreme fire danger area. I'm stressed frequently: our buildings need fire-resistant resurfacing, I need money to buy it, and have to choose what to evacuate with. That and having the threat of a dictatorship over us all have given me adrenal fatigue, a state of total exhaustion. I pray, meditate, do yoga, take rests. I guess I'm a poster child for hyper-vigilance against material and other loss; I don't do well with new trauma.

I wish this guy would write this as a screenplay!wow

I hope Mark finds healing and I’m glad he’s found happiness in some measure in life.

You are a light in a small and dark corridor. Thank you for sharing your light. ❤

This really hits home

Vagus nerve therapy. I can't stress this how important this therapy was to me lately. This will reset you in ways you can't imagine ❤

Lots of Love for you brother ❤👊

Such a great and insightful video - thank you, Anna ❤

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

8 ай бұрын

I'm so glad it was helpful :) -Calista@TeamFairy

I can’t unwind even when there’s nothing going on. I’m calmer amidst chaos. There’s something to focus on. When it’s peaceful, I feel like I have to be more vigilant because others aren’t paying attention.

I definitely understand this fear.

Thank you Anna. This took a lot within me to choose to listen to this video. You understand. Someone gets this. I feel less alone. I thank you.🌸

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

8 ай бұрын

We understand as few others can! You're not alone. I’m glad you’re here. Nika@TeamFairy

I still go threw this.. this man was motivated in spite of all difficulty he stayed focus doing the right thing that's great wow ya had it rough best to ya.

Have a problem with this also. Very thankful for this video, so helpful! Anna is terrific as always.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

8 ай бұрын

Thanks for being a part of our community here! Nika@TeamFairy

Thank you. This video is affirming and helpful.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

8 ай бұрын

I'm so happy to hear that! Thank you for taking the time to comment :) -Calista@TeamFairy

Oh wow!! This was SO HELPFUL! Thank you Anna and Mark for sharing all of your experience and wisdom, it is so validating, reassuring and VALUED!! 🕊

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

8 ай бұрын

You are so welcome! Thanks for your comment & thanks for watching! Glad you're here! Nika@TeamFairy

I'm so proud of Mark for the steps he has made in his life and that he is seeking help to overcome his childhood trauma. I wish him all the best in his recovery journey. At least now I have a word for what I have been undergoing-hypervigilance. Thank you Fairy.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

8 ай бұрын

Glad you are here! Nika@TeamFairy

oh my this helps so much

Wow, Mark is an inspiration. What a nightmare history. You are a success in spite of this.

Anna is a walking miracle. A true angel on earth and crusader to help those of who really. Want a better way to live

Im hypervigilant not about money or possensions, but about my family (primarily husband and 2 kids) and making surr they are alive and breathing each morning. Sometimes i wake up in the middle of the night and check to see if they are alive.

This so so very helpful 😊

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

8 ай бұрын

Glad you are here! Nika@TeamFairy

I grew up in an alcoholic home and my memories are an unstable combination of good and bad. My dad being drunk and sick, and at the same time feeling loved and cared for (he always kept a job as a janitor and things were tight but we were never homeless) I carry a feeling of fear and instability to this day. I am in therapy and keep very physically active with activities that are close to nature (rowing on the ocean and cycling) as well as classes at the Y. But the feeling is always there.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

8 ай бұрын

Thank for watching and for sharing your experience! As an addition to your healing process you mentioned, I encourage you to try Anna's free Daily Practice course. It is the technique that led to Anna’s own healing, and she uses it to this day. bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice Nika@TeamFairy

I'm realizing I really overreacted to my situation as a child. Of course, I didn't know how to respond, so I just went to DEFCON 1 instantly. I'm realizing now that the thing that works, for the persistent fears, is slowing down and slowing down some more; really sitting with those fears, that were\are justified, is the only way through, for me.

Thank you for this video..I suffer with the same issue...and I also sent this video to my sister

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

8 ай бұрын

Thanks for watching! Glad you are here. Nika@TeamFairy

A lot of the things you mentioned for help. I have done but nothing has fully taken my anxiety away. It always returns. I'm 42 and today is my first day being home, I just couldn't handle my work anymore, not the work but the people. I can't be around many people. I don't think this will ever go away for me. Now I'm not working and I'm going to eventually probably get depressed. At least I got my house payed off but I had so many other goals. I don't know what I'm going to do but I'm going to keep working on this

Thank you for pointing out that the fear and resentment is sometimes more than justified. I've been interested in EMDR for a while (without any talking - I refuse to give someone their dose of child porn) but it's so expensive here in the UK!

@ilsevanheerden4976

8 ай бұрын

Look up BWRT on the official site and find a therapist in a cheaper country. It's a much quicker route to healing.

Great video! I'd love to hear you talk more in depth about the effects of homelessness and how to move past it.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

8 ай бұрын

Thank you for watching! If you'd like to ask Anna a question, feel free to write a letter to her from here: bit.ly/CCF_Letters Nika@TeamFairy

Man. Kinda had the same situation. My family had a very unstable income and we moved a lot. I was unmotivated and stayed with my parents for longer than I care to admit. I think all of that messed me up and I'm still struggling into this. Glad I found this. Hope it helps somehow.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

8 ай бұрын

Glad you're here! Nika@TeamFairy

@ShintogaDeathAngel

6 ай бұрын

I also stayed with my adoptive parents longer than I should have, for similar reasons. I have my own home now and while I still have some trauma related issues, it's helped a lot to get physical distance.

Thank you for another insightful video. Would you consider addressing how to care for parents that come back in their old age asking for help from the now adult children they abused?

My mother grew up on a dairy farm with 8 siblings through the Depression, to say she was 'thrifty' is an understatement. I saw her recycle sticky tape. She would recycle gift wrapping paper and I only ever got one gift for birthdays or christmas, so I always grew up feeling as though I wasn't worth having money and I inherited her fear that the money would run out. I cured myself with EFT and I'm in a better financial position than I've ever been in my life.

Wow... what a story. I am proud of you too Mark. Of course, through the headline in the thumbnail, i bookmarked this video. Growing up, compared to Mark, my life was cake. There was always money, and a home, my parents always together, alcohol, although there, was never abused. I was under the illusion that I was loved. I left the nest at 19 to go to a community college an hour away. I reflect, and now realize that that is when my life actually began. Getting away from the abusive home town was such a relief. I was roomies with a hometown best friend, he respected me, and I him. I (and we) made all new friends, some of who are friends to this day. My hometown was an extension of my family... I grew up in the 60's. I am ADHD (undiagnosed at the time) and somewhere on the autistic scale (yet to be determined). I was abused by most hometown peers, easily lead to do malicious mischief... which I realize now, felt good as a way to release anger... but sorry for the damage I caused. When I moved away, my new friends just accepted me, didn't critisize me. My best friend was the same... we enjoyed each other's company, music being the common bond. Back then, just sitting, listening to music, was an activity. We did that a lot. Music became my life. All my adult life I was in gratitude toward my mother for being a music and art lover, exposing me to sophisticated forms of music and art as a child. I was also grateful toward my father for exposing me to tool use, crafting, fixing things, engineering. This is also a major part of my life, and a way to make a decent living. I didn't realize it, but a music mentor in my new locale also picked up on my learning disability... or so he thought. At first, I was this raw recruit, clumsy, intellectually challenged. But he insisted that I study, practice, get on stage, and fail until I succeed. I did, diligently.... and in short order, I surpassed him, instrumentaly, and vocally. Mentor was also an entertainer. He opened a music listening room/club, and skillfully booked professional touring acts into it. He recommended I come see specific performers. I was a sponge, enthralled. Through observation, I learned to also be an entertainer, as well as a musician, a truly skilled performer. As I did so, mentor's sarcastic abuse increased in intensity. His encouragement to perform waned... and he seemed to do everything to stiffle me. I could not stay away from the club. The music and performances were so inspiring, good... I had developed more friendships, found many lovers there, all thanks to music and my abilities. Mentor's abuse continued... I did my best to tollerate it. Fast forward to now. I'm 73. My golden child sister has just passed away.... Through her executors, I found out that my family merely tollerated me. Because of my learning disability (which I found was not a disability, just a difference), I was subject to being looked down upon, demeaned, relentlessly. Even through our adulthood, my sister always looked at me as a child. Every christmas, she'd buy me a child's toy... I never understood why until just before she passed. That's how she viewed me. She coached her executors on how to deal with me. She was a life-long teacher, as were her executors, all stoic, unemotional, controlling. When I went to help clean out my sister's estate, I got lambasted, intensely shamed, by these executors, who used the same exact words my parents, teachers, guidance counselors used when a child/teen. This forced me to realize that I was demeaned by my family, for life. I realized that all my accomplishments, all achieved without going to school, lesrned on my own, meant nothing. My music, my engineering fabricating, my art, my professional success, meant nothing. I didn't have a framed documents of scholastic achievements, and therefore, I was still this learning disabled kid to be motovated with shame, abuse, demeaning criticism. Because I tested highly intelligent, i was labeled an "underachiever." It was stuck to my forhead forever, in their eyes. This lead to life-long low self-esteem. I now see why a drew abusers, i.e. musicial mentor... who still looks down his nose at me like I'm retarded. When the executors verbally unloaded on me, and a realized within hours, what I had endured all my life. I went into a rage that was so intense, I swear I was insane. I drank to cope... it worked. Being a health enthusiast, my body told me I was injuring myself after a month... I cut way back... but anxiety and depression replaced the anger. I tried some of the drugs prescribed, they all sucked, compromised me worse than the booze. I now want nothing to do with my family. People are handing me old photos... I'm so angry, I've never felt grief for the loss of all of them. Music mentor is dealing with cancer, and I suspect will be gone soon... again, no grief or pitty felt. I am making progress, all on my own, but am seeking counseling... my motivation and focus is dismal... I want my life back... I've things to do with this old but vigorous body and brain... there's music to work on, and crafting projects to start and complete... I'm still so angry.

@llbailey9946

8 ай бұрын

Hugs. I can relate.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

8 ай бұрын

Thank you for sharing your story. If you haven't already, I encourage you to try Anna's free Daily Practice. It is a great way to process fears and resentment, and it is the technique that led to Anna’s own healing (she uses it to this day!). bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice Nika@TeamFairy

First comment!! Yes. Great video per usual ❤❤❤

It doesnt help literally losing everything to homeless a few times. 😢

I just went through the most ridiculous week that can only be termed hyper vigilance I just learned… when a long running job is being inconsistent.. I lost my s@$t and have been a hot mess… thank you for naming it… dang my weird childhood…..signing up for class immediately 😭

Omg. U are so right !

Wow lovely phrases and ideas to contemplate!!!!

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

8 ай бұрын

I'm so glad :) -Calista@TeamFairy

I was raised on a poor farm in northeast Minnesota, but to this day, I have to have a full woodshed, full freezer, and root cellar, but I've never had a full enough bank account.

Her hair is so healthy

Yep, me too

My mom made us move from one place to another and now that I am older, i am very strict with money. The instability i experienced in my childhood makes me feel like money is the only thing that could keep me out from the streets. Not having a permanent home is such a traumatic experience for me and I would never want it to happen ever again. I am super hyper vigilant now because I am afraid something might happen that would lead me to losing money to pay for rent. Even my job threatens me. Whenever I do not do a good job i get scared I might get fired and I may not be able to pay rent and I would be back to how my mom and I lived. The trauma is still with me now that I am in my 30s. This story really resonates with me.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

3 ай бұрын

Thank you for sharing your experience with us. If you haven't already, try Daily Practice - it is a great way to process fears and resentment. You can try it free here: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice Nika@TeamFairy

@timcook4552

2 ай бұрын

@@CrappyChildhoodFairy oh thank you so much! I sure will!

Hey Mark! You are not alone. So far you are doing great. Things will not get easy from now on... economy is crumbling and they are coming for our assets... but find a place to you and your family in the country... grow your own food... raise chickens... have a milk cow... this is how I've mitigated my hyper-vigilance.

@koubenakombi3066

8 ай бұрын

In the country is not about titles, it is about what you can do for you and your community in daily basis.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

8 ай бұрын

Thank you for sharing your encouragement for the letter-writer! Nika@TeamFairy

I have a tendency to stay stocked up on freezer food and pantry items . I do buy the basic items on sale, but I have a terror of running out of food, even though is no reason to be afraid. It comes from being , not poor exactly, but we had just barely enough when I was a kid. I wore thrift store clothes and learned to sew. At least when I was in high school buying second hand clothes was considered fairly cool. I also seem to have accumulated far more clothes than I need for the same reason. Now I want to get rid of things that no longer serve me . Including the reasons that I got to this point

Leonard cohen. We are all broken. That's how the light comes in. Anthem.

I feel for mark❤. Sadly I know childhood trauma of many kinds and hypervigilance. I don't want to get into it because it is lot and a long story. But I'm hyper vigilant about money and my physical safety. I'm very hyper vigilant about my physical safety and having a place to live. When things are going good I always have the feeling that things can or will fall apart because it repeatedly has throughout most of my life. At 34 I'm doing pretty good in my life despite my past and dysfunctional family situation. I'm more independent than I wasn't in my earlier young adulthood. I have money in the bank and I have a stable job and I'm kind of semi homeless. I part time live with family or I live where I work in a Hotel for weeks at a time here and there and plan C is the camping tent I ordered off of Amazon. Which I haven't had to sleep in luckily😂.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

8 ай бұрын

Thank you for watching. Glad you are here! Nika@TeamFairy

I know hypervigilance well. I am stuck. I search for the missing piece. The fear of success is problematic. I get enough money saved and then can leave a job until poverty. I also can weather anything. To the point that I neglect myself. Tough to get and stay on track. I have learned when hypervigilance appears and deal with it. I have also noticed my frustration turns into anger. I think the woman I love turns her frustration into anger too. But, I love all of her, good and bad. I hope to marry her one day. She is beautiful.

I WORKED VERY HARD...if I had stayed by myself I would have been OK... BUT I married a maggot .. and it took til I was 40 to walk away from all of it... And they all stole EVERYTHING... I STARTED OVER WITH NOTHING AT 40 INJURED BY A CRIMINALLY NEGLIGENT EMPLOYER ALMOST DIED... 7 YEAR RECOVERY ON MY OWN...DOGGED OUT BY MY LAWYER... ALMOST RECOVERED I GOT HIT BY HURRICANES KATRINA AND RITA.. 10 YEARS PTSD...DESTROYED HOUSE 2 FEMA TRAILERS FINALLY FOUND AN "UPIDDY SLUM"..FULL OF DANGEROUS ILLEGALS AND CRACKHEADS... IT ISN'T AN IRRATIONAL FEAR....I AM LIVING IT

@Onthe9thlife3730

8 ай бұрын

That is horrific and I'm so sorry you're in that situation and have had this as your life experience so far. I hope that when you manage to get in a better situation you are able to finally allow yourself to release tension.