Healing behaviour summary 1. No longer see things in black and white terms. 2. Natural desire to care for your body. 3. Naturally crave healthier food. 4. Lose desire to binge in screens. 5. Not tempted to fake the truth. 6. Work life starts to feel better 7. Lose interest in assigning blame 8. Release of attraction to unavailable partners 9. Prefer reality to fantasy. 10. Material well-being will improve.

@tboyz1

11 ай бұрын

Thanks for listing these 10 points 👍

@user-do3qz7kt2m

11 ай бұрын

Thank you

@LisaSimplified

11 ай бұрын

Thank you!

@cynthiaj.wagner1807

11 ай бұрын

Thanks my ADD needed the list lol

@anio1349

11 ай бұрын

I can't even IMAGINE #9 !

I especially appreciated when you said, "When someone else owes you an apology, but doesn't give it to you - which is most of the time...don't dwell on it."

@steveb4400

11 ай бұрын

Agreed. That used to be me playing the victim. I’m much better now at 60 years old but it took so long. We are works in progress. Stay strong.

@mylittlekittens

10 ай бұрын

I like that one.

@cherdangelo2993

9 ай бұрын

You're so right I did that so many times and and you know what it was a wasted energy because the people that won't apologize or give fake apologies which most NPD people do their fake they don't mean anything so don't worry about it they are so not worth it they have no empathy how can they apologize for real think about it right

@juliaoconnor5798

9 ай бұрын

"A true apology is changed behavior" Those with NPD just give lip service on apologies they don't mean them with the exception of they are sorry they got caught not for anything else. We have to make our own closure because a narcisist will not give any closure due to the fact they don't want any closure they want to do their best to keep their foot in the door keeping that door open. An apology that a narcisist makes is as fake as the I love you's they've said.

@sallyann8686

8 ай бұрын

It’s all Happening loud and clear now 🎉

Gosh, I've descended into nearly all of these self defeating behaviours 😢 it's taken a few years to slide here. I miss my old, jovial self. Gone no contact with the difficult people in my life and starting therapy next week. Managed to go for a short walk tonight and noticed a rainbow 😍

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

11 ай бұрын

That's a wonderful moment. What a great reward for getting outside and going for a walk. Thank you for sharing. Julie@TeamFairy

@mattlehnardt783

11 ай бұрын

I so relate to that feeling and i am sorry you go through that. I think the reason we 'beat ourselves up' is to keep others from doing it first, so they don't have to. What i've learned from the Crappy Childhood Fairy is our brains want the predictable. and that our brains are hardwired to keep us from pain. It hurts less being beat up by our 'self' than by someone close to us. If that person is 'prickly' to be with and has hurtful messages about you, we take on that message to still be under their wing. to reject what they say about us means we'll be left alone. As kids we can't take that so we agree with their negative labels to keep connected with them. Kids blame themselves for what goes wrong, our brain has to make sense of the illogical, and its illogical when parents emotionally ditch their kids. Maybe if we agree with them they'll calm down, and see we're not so bad, and we can get back together and go on with life. We can help 'fix' this disconnection if we beat ourselves up. and show loyalty to them who beat us up. We're trying to stay 'limbically attuned" to our connective main person, by sharing what they feel; rage, at us. Crappy Childhood Fairy talks about limbic attunement, which has meant so much to me. A great example of how this works is the Still Face Experiment on KZread. To take it one step further in a way that maybe applies to you, what if mom actually got MAD at baby and then "Still - Faced" baby? and never returned? Crappy Childhood Fairy said something else that helped me a ton, that our brains are wired to protect us from hurt. Like we don't want to get a sliver in our finger or cut off our leg, our brains tell us when something isn't good for us to keep us from hurt. What if you're a little kid and your parent whom you need does this? rages at you? goes overboard in 'disciplining' you? freaks out and inordinately dumps rage on you? beats you up either emotionally or physically? they're not owning their own stuff, and they slosh over onto you, as a kid, whose job it is NOT to deal with adult issues for someone else? That's a parent's job to captain the ship. I would ask, is there alcoholism in your family tree? i think this tendency to feel like crap/feel good enough to show up for life is an alcoholic tendency which can pass down through generations even when later generations don't drink. People learn to slosh their bad water all over someone else to carry, thinking this is loyalty if they carry it for them, which is a weird alternative to healthy empathy which is necessary for people to get through hard times by sharing hard times with people close to you, which is what healthy families do, workplaces do and social organizations do. talking things out, feeling empathy. A Christian example is the angel who stayed with Christ during his atonement in Gethsemane. The worst thing is being alone, thats why solitary confinement is the worst punishment. As almost as a badge of loyalty we carry our connected person's bad water, thinking, "if they see im hurting too, if they see i'll take their abuse, and stay with them, they'll wake up and see me. if i show them i understand them, maybe they'll understand me, and we'll get back together and have life like normal", so we carry on, because we don't know what else to do but hope. If they have hurtful messages about us, we can either agree or disagree, but to disagree means to disconnect, and if we do that we'll be alone, and we need them but even deeper we need to feel a sense of place within a family, because that belonging gives us a sense of place, and of self. a sense of who we are. nd our place in it; a very strong drive thats hardwired into us to develop, again, why gangs fill the void where broken families leave off. an evil alternative to what is right. one that ruins souls instead of builds them. if you're feeling ruined, instead of built, theres probably similar bonds of belonging working in your life you're trying to hang onto, out of need for connection and a sense of loyalty someone insisted you carry so they didn't have to face. You can let it go, the best thing you can do to help your connected people is step away from their nightmare they want to make you a part of, which just fuels it, and heal and be a complete person who owns their own stuff and lets others do the same. I think this is what AA is all about.

@charlottecoolik9872

11 ай бұрын

🎉 I hope you go on many more walks and see many more rainbows❤❤❤❤❤

@7jtda

8 ай бұрын

Wow. Thank you for sharing this. I think you are doing great. I'm hoping to get as far as you have in a little while.❤

@barbhugheschapman268

8 ай бұрын

When you said you noticed a rainbow--that made me tear up. It truly is the small beautiful things that bring us happiness. All my love to you.

8 mins in, and the tears have been flowing. Thank you for giving me the emotional hug that I needed today. I've been feeling like a piece of shit and I haven't been showing up as my best self for awhile. This gives me hope that one day, I will be a better person✨️

@marshak6459

11 ай бұрын

you dont need to be a better person to be loved. horrible people find happiness and love.

@demian8439

11 ай бұрын

Keep moving forward. Keep improving. You are enough exactly as you are right now, but we can always do better. Baby steps become quarter steps become half steps... eventually you will find yourself at full stride. Just. Keep. Swimming.

@anotherhealingjourneybegins

11 ай бұрын

@demian8439 thank you🫂✨️

@WhatsMarlyUpTo

11 ай бұрын

You're not alone, been feeling same way. What would we do without KZreadrs like CCF?

@XOXOX4242

11 ай бұрын

I can relate! Hang in there, I believe in you!

I’m healing, but I have no desire to be sociable. My connections are limited to a small group of people that I see infrequently. I developed an aversion to be around people when my symptoms were overwhelming. People didn’t understand and judged me, which made me feel very alienated. Self isolation, even now, feels right for me. It’s peaceful. I don’t get lonely and I treasure the freedom to heal alone.

@tammymansfield2049

Ай бұрын

@lyndaElliot I can resonate with every word here. It's so peaceful to be able to just feel what you feel without anyone's input, advice or judgement. I'd like to have some more connection though, I'm in the process of how this looks as my relationships have changed and what I truly want has changed. All the best on your healing journey😊

@pord1234

16 күн бұрын

I understand and recognize those perceptions of people interaction in myself. However, this is a process - we were nibbled away at by neglectful parenting for years, so isn't it reasonable to think this will take time to feel at ease with more and more people. Besides not everyone has/needs the same amount of social contact.

I grew up with a mother that suffered with mental illness. Thank you for the clarity of your vision to receive healing from this lifelong trial. I find hope in your guidance.

Wow! Black & white thinking "costs us freedom"- well said! Love this new perspective ❣️

@kimmymichele12

11 ай бұрын

Me too

Excessive humility, overly helpful, walking on egg shells, putting oneself down, feelings of unworthiness or excessive pride, arrogance overcomparing also belong on the list. I love this video, and all that you do. It's giving me humbling and empowering perspectives on my own life and behaviors. How genuine down to earth love feels like and behaves. Thanks.

I find that I’ve never been able to move the needle forward on healing through behavior change. When you have CPTSD or ptsd it’s moved into your physiology. Healing your nervous system and getting to a place where you feel safe will naturally result in behavior change.

Thank you for this review and expansion. I've been tuning into your videos for ... maybe four years now? and have taken your dating course, which was very helpful. I decided to assess my progress from the references here. I'm currently doing much better in 8 out of 10 categories. What needs more effort is addiction to screens and still preferring fantasy to reality too much of the time. But seeing how far I've come in the 20+ years since I quit alcohol, is very encouraging. My 70th birthday's coming up this fall, and I'll have more than ever to celebrate, even with the loss of my late mate. Thank you again.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

11 ай бұрын

I'm sorry for the loss of your partner, and celebrating with you that your healing is so strong!

@auntdebbie224

11 ай бұрын

I just found @crappychildhoodfairy a couple hours ago. I decided to read some of the comments. I always assume that those doing the work are much younger then me so imagine my excitement at seeing your age. Thank you for sharing it. #67yearoldchild.

@a.s.jackson8203

9 ай бұрын

@@auntdebbie224 I'm 63 and have been working on myself for the last 20 years but never made the connection between my adverse childhood experiences and my being stuck in life until I began to watch Anna's video's in the past year or so. I've learned a lot from her and others here on KZread. Thank goodness we have people like Anna on KZread helping us to heal the wounds of our childhood trauma.

I haven’t had a lot of problems at work, but I found sometimes they were related to me being on “high alert,” possibly seeing danger where there wasn’t, taking something personally, or overthinking. It has helped a lot to work on these thought distortions and continuously try to have more compassion for myself and others, while recognizing that how people act may say more about themselves than me. For example, someone may scream at me because they are experiencing high anxiety and struggle with regulating their emotions. When I learned to step back, I could handle these difficult situations much better and also not dwell on them/ recover faster. (Note- it’s never okay for a boss or coworker to scream at you, but how you handle it makes a difference for your personal wellbeing)

Thank you for your service to help others who struggle & suffer with the deluge of childhood abuse 😊💜🙏

I have been praying for a real answer. I feared that I was so messed up by trauma that I could never heal and truly live. It made me feel so hopeless and depressed. This speaks directly to my spirit and I am so grateful. God bless you

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

8 ай бұрын

I'm glad you're here!

Yikes. I need to make a list because the majority of these apply. I didn’t realize I had black & white thinking, but I isolate myself because I’ve been through 2 long term abusive co-dependent relationships, seriously detrimental. I decided that it’s better to just avoid men because I don’t trust myself to find a healthy relationship. I don’t trust men in general. I love the wrong people. Healing could change this? 🤔

@Heyu7her3

11 ай бұрын

Interesting, whereas I avoid men because I don't trust them to be healthy 😂😢

@dionisis4911

11 ай бұрын

Life is funny. I’m trying to heal my female driven wounds. Im coming to the conclusion that maybe we should appreciate it’s not any one gender that’s ‘bad’ but certain types of people. Human beings have the potential to be awful but that doesn’t mean every human being is awful

@juliagriego7693

11 ай бұрын

I spent much of my life Not trusting myself or men.

@Lyrielonwind

11 ай бұрын

​@@dionisis4911 I agree. I don't trust men but don't trust women either (malignant narcissist mother and enabling absent father).

@poetmaggie1

11 ай бұрын

There is a need for spiritual as well as mental healing, this sounds like a good place to start. There are a lot of us out here.

Thank you so much Anna, I am crying while watching this video. I've been on my healing journey for three years now. Before that, I was totally devastated because I liked someone who never like me for years (now I understand that is limerence). I stayed in a city that I hate, had job that undervalued my skill and qualifications, and my boss was terrible. The very first thing that I do to heal was quitting my job, moving to different city, stop contacting the person that cause my limerence. That was brave and I lost all of my savings, but now I've found a better job that I love and suit my skill and qualifications. I started to take care of my body by doing yoga, pilates, cycling and naturally I only want to eat healthy foods. All of this time, I wonder why I haven't found your video, but now I'm glad that I did. All of your videos are amazing and really helpful, thank you so much 💕💕💕💕

I had chronic anxiety for 9 years (chaotic childhood) and stumbled across the concept of NERVOUS SYSTEM DYSREGULATION around 19 months ago. I've been obsessively watching content on the subject, including CCF, and on June 26th I woke up and it all just clicked. I'm not particularly spiritual, but it was as though I had an epiphany (I know in reality it was just neuroplastic healing). For the first time in years I felt a deep sense of peace that, despite unpleasant sensations arising, I could always return to within a few minutes. The only time I'm not able to regain peace is when I'm exhausted and need to sleep. I've had many, many health problems in my life and looking at them through the lens of trauma changes everything. So, sooo grateful to you Anna! ❤ Two other creators on KZread that were instrumental in my reaching this point were Irene Lyon and Natalia Rachel Change. Ily all so much! 💚😭 side note: Elaine Aron's work on the personality trait of high sensitivity was also pivotal for me. I was suuuper skeptical of whether it was a legitimate trait, although after diving into tons of her research I am convinced. Very cool trait if you know how to wield it properly 😌😉

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

11 ай бұрын

Thank you for sharing & watching! It is wonderful to read about your breakthroughs. Julie@TeamFairy

@eleanor4759

11 ай бұрын

@@CrappyChildhoodFairy thank you for all that you do!!!

I knew deep down that I was full of self defeating behaviors, but had no idea why...no basis for beginning to understand myself. My childhood cPTSD (staying back a grade at the age of seven) was so traumatic and disruptive that I could not handle it on a conscious level. It went deep into my subconscious mind where self defeating thoughts became imprinted and ruled me. Only when I connected with the source of my trauma did my healing journey begin. I have written about this before; and do so now to help others understand that sometimes, yes, we do need to know the root cause of our trauma before healing can begin.

Self defeating behaviours: 1. Neglect of body: dental hygiene, food, exercise 2. Blame 3. Black and White thinking 4. Numbing with substances 5. Binge eating or starving yourself, orthorexia 6. Addiction to tv, social media, phone 7. Dishonesty 8. Work problems 9. Irritability 10. Attraction to troubled partners or friends 11. Being in an unfulfilling romantic life / abusive sexuality 12. Addictive use of fantas 13. ? 14. Avoidance of people/ responsibilities 15. Debting 16. Re-enacting trauma

@thekinginthenorth3222

11 ай бұрын

I have 6, 12 & 14

@sonja_rademacher

11 ай бұрын

❤ Thank you!

@sonja_rademacher

11 ай бұрын

​@@thekinginthenorth3222Think of doing an autism and adhd testing. Often comorbidity...

@SurvivorRevive

11 ай бұрын

@@sonja_rademacher There is a lot of overlap in symptoms with autism, adhd and cptsd as well as other disorders. If you look it up, I'm sure there is a ven diagram out there that breaks it down.

@amykyns15

11 ай бұрын

She didn’t mention a #13.

I literally keep asking my doctor and therapist why I don't crave healthy foods and movement. Now I get it. I'm going to share this with them.

1 of the great things about getting older and not being like, 25, and dealing with this anymore (hugs to all the 25 year olds) is that you start to see that you are the common denominator in all situations, so you can't blame other people. When the same thing happens 1, 2, 3, 4,....X times, in different places, at different times, with different people, you start to realise it's not just them, it's you. What is quite stunning is how , even when you know your patterns, you can still repeat them, over and over and over again. It shows that it isn't just knowledge that changes things. You can be fully self-aware and still create these situations, consciously or unconsciously.

This is what i talked to my therapist about this morning. I skate your videos with her. ❤❤❤ Thank you for being you - you really genuinely help lives!

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

11 ай бұрын

Thanks for sharing the videos with your therapist! Sounds like you are making progress. :) Julie@TeamFairy

Thank you Anna! Your videos have been invaluable to me. This video actually made me feel hope that, despite the bumps in the road, I actually am on the path to healing.

I hate food. I watch people enjoy it and it just makes me sad. I can pass up a buffet table, allowing myself nothing. My mom was an addict and was unavailable alot. I guess im still thinking like an abandoned child, having to eat whatever i found in the kitchen. Thanks Anna, you and Tim Fletcher are really helping alot of people. ✌️

I have a mountain of childhood trauma, but found a great therapist who’s worked with me to help me with so much. Sadly, I did a lot of damage to my two adult children that I own, but still have a lot of shame about. Seeing their trauma is sometimes unbearable. I’m two years away from getting my MSW and have worked in social services for 25 years which has been a blessing and a curse. But, healing myself has helped me be a better advocate and helper of people. It’s also allowed me to set boundaries, too. Thank you for your wonderful videos and honesty!!

My concern is I don’t know what I’d replace these habits with. As terrible as that might sound, the known is a slow burn, but tearing away the distractions, makes me anxious,

@angry-lucky-catty

11 ай бұрын

I saw a tweet once that said “but that’s a load-bearing coping mechanism!” and I felt that.

@halcyondays8945

11 ай бұрын

Have you learned her daily practice yet? It’s really good. I had this convo with my therapist. She said it’s tempting to want to take away these less-healthy mechanisms as a form of self improvement but sometimes that leaves us more vulnerable. She told me to work on building my “healthy tool box” before dismantling my less-healthy mechanisms. In fact the more I build up my healthy tools the less attracted I am to my old behaviours.

Wow! In the past hour, I've watched two of your videos and have learned so much about myself, than I have with 7 years of Therapy @ Barbra Siatra's Children's Center. This place was an amazing place that started my journey to healing, so please take this statement as a compliment. ❤ Thank You for helping those of us that can not afford to get any help as far as Therapy goes. I'm so grateful I found you.😢❤

Been binge watching your content most of the day. You get it completely! I'm definitely guilty of being stuck in the: "What could I have been in life if I had a healthy relationship with my mother? What if she had adequate funds to help me fulfill my dreams?" It is extremely difficult when so many get dealt very good cards in life - Enjoying exotic family holidays yearly, money provided for study and leisure activities, full support of business and professional endeavours, access to connections and jobs to help them move up in the world. I'm only 29 and things have been very difficult. Still on minimum wage watching my golden child brother earn three times what I earn in a year because of the opportunities and support he was given. It's very hard to not be bitter when others have things easier. Trying to be grateful for what I have and knowing I built it myself with no help. This video was incredibly helpful to me and insightful to where I am on my journey. Thank you so much ❤

You are a real life angel. The most healing part of my day ♥️

I really love and appreciate Creppy Childhood Fairy videos, they're so calm and soothing, feels like home

Wow I'm halfway into this and I'm so glad to hear that I'm normal because I'm feeling like there's so much more work that list resonates😮

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

11 ай бұрын

You got this! -The Fairy Team

I needed to hear this today. Regarding point 2 though, I'd add self-blame, cos that's what I did to myself for so long: why didn't I see/get/understand/avoid this 'situation' before it happened, why didn't I handle it that or this other way....horrible

"Now that we are adults, no one is coming to save us."

Listening to this list was a sobering reality check. I knew I was relapsed in my eating disorder recovery, but this feels like I am in trauma healing relapse too. I have been deeper into my healing journey, previously. I realize, now, I did more than letting go of self-care while caregiving for a family member. ☹️

@lismi9178

10 ай бұрын

Maybe you did the care taking, because you were denied the care as a child and now you over compensate by giving it to others? That would be the reason of your temporary relapse: taking care of others instead of yourself? I apologize if I am in the wrong! I just seem to recognize my former neglected self here, the person who took care of everyone else's ailments and worries but never her own 🙄

This video came up in the KZread suggestions at a good moment in my life. It has been only a few months since discovering that C-PTSD was at the root of many of the problems I had been facing during the past few decades. Because of my voracious appetite for knowledge of whatsoever may be beneficial, plus a side of addiction to social media (OK, I'll admit that), along with ADHD hyperfocus (I've known this about myself for decades), and Autistic Focus on Special Interest (yeah, KZread helped me figure that one out too, over a year ago), I allowed myself to binge-watch a plethora of videos by Crappy Childhood Fairy and Therapy in a Nutshell, among others, and to Learn and Apply What I'm Learning and Make Improvements in My "Mentals." 😊 One-to-One therapy sessions and meds have helped a lot too. Because "I fear that" my husband also suffers C-PTSD, I am allowing myself to feel less resentment about his behaviors, although I still get irritated. But now that I'm aware of the feeling when dysregulation begins, I can take hold of my own reins a lot sooner and steer myself away, take a moment to cool down, to breathe, to restore the logic-brain, to assemble some less-accusatory thoughts, and come back with a non-explosion. As little as five minutes will help me defuse the emotional bomb. Next: to give him enough support, let him see the improvements I've worked on, provide enough information to awaken his curiosity (yes, I've advised him to get curious instead of scared about learning a thing), and let him recognize the need for help and healing, and to seek and accept the help. I just downloaded the PDF that goes with this video, and I am gearing up to read it! I had already figured I would write about my own experiences with all the applicable signs of C-PTSD and of Healing so I could share them with Hunny -- "This is what life used to be like for me; This is how my life has changed for the better." You see, starting with, "This is where I've had difficulty," may be a non-threatening way to discuss the "please recognize that this is also you." 💌

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

11 ай бұрын

I'm so glad you found the channel! Thank you for sharing, we're all sending you encouragement :) -Calista@TeamFairy

Progress, not perfection.

1 - Yes 2 - No 3 - No 4 - No 5 - Yes 6 - Yes some 7 - Yes 8 - Yes 9 - Yes a little 10 - Yes 11 - Yes 12 - Possibly 13 - Yes 14 - Number was skipped :) 15 - Yes in the past and on and off currently 16 - Yes 73.33% - The numbers speak for themselves. Time to work on the steps that you and others have and continue to cover for us to help us on our roads to healing and thriving in life. As always, thank you so much!

❤This is excellent, absolutely excellent. Love your presentation this time; concise & directly to the point. May all the angels bless you forever for what you are making available to people that don’t have the $ for shrinks. ❤🙏🏼🌹

This sounds wonderful. I pray all of us get healed.

My neglect of my own health/ welfare resulted in a heart attack. This went from early drug use, binge eating, and lack of exercise.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

10 ай бұрын

Wow. How is it going now?

@paul-davidalmond716

9 ай бұрын

@@CrappyChildhoodFairy Much better. I'm nearly done with cardiac rehab, emotionally, I'm much better. Learning new habits, and mindsets. I talked to a confessor, who-when I told him of my CSA said, "That can take a lifetime to unravel." He's right, but I just keep going.

This is spot on. From the signs that you're still in it, to the signs that you're healing. Great video! Good to see that I'm making great progress. I really hope to others to gain full control over their lives again, without being held back by what hurt and damaged you.

I’m saying this while I have a moment of courage. I’m in an extremely toxic marriage and I’m disabled since 2000 so I can’t support myself and I don’t have much extended family to help. None able to help or they are struggling with similar issues. I am to scared and frozen to do anything. For the past 5 years I haven’t even gotten out of bed but to go to the bathroom. And once a month to my chronic pain doctor. When I have to leave the house for something I start getting panic attacks and usually cancel my appointment and reschedule. I can’t imagine how many people ask you for help as I am, I pray I am one you feel you could😢reach out to and help. Respectfully and sincerely thank you for all your time you give making videos and providing support for people who struggle with PTSS.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

11 ай бұрын

I am so sorry you are struggling like this. It might sound small, but the foundation of Anna's healing method is the Daily Practice. It's what she herself used and uses. It's a free course, and you can learn and do the technique from bed. You just need the internet to take the free course, then scratch paper and pen/pencil to practice the technique. bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice Julie@TeamFairy

@jennyferguson5583

11 ай бұрын

That’s Wonderful! I’m going to do that! The Daily Practice!

@niebieskimotyl3308

11 ай бұрын

Psychiatric treatment may be also helpful with dealing with panic attacks. My doctor told me it's my nervous system that needed a lot of help, when I started to have health issues and he was right.

@Lyrielonwind

11 ай бұрын

​@@niebieskimotyl3308 Diaphragmatic breathing helps too.

@a.p.6040

11 ай бұрын

❤

After the second time she said we should just be friends, I walked away, no contact and righteously ghosted.

I have identified with some of the behaviors. Others, I used to have and have outgrown (my word). But I have also learned that you can be a good person and work hard and still have bad things happen to you (I am an author with no income, case in point). And it is like what you said. It is how you handle it! It also reminds me of a RHCP song, "Wet Sand". The line "You don't form in the wet sand" gets to me every time and goes back to that point. Thank you so much for these kind reminders!

Crappy childhood, clinical depression while having a stressful job, and now grief about my deceased husband. How to untangle it all is my challenge.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

10 ай бұрын

Sorry you're going through so much right now. We always suggest people start with the Daily Practice. It can help you figure out where to start -- how to untangle it. bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice Julie@TeamFairy

13:35 “Take a walk, floss your teeth, shop for clothes that look good on you.” I bet combining all thee activities would speed up the healing process significantly, am I right?

Yes, I'm normally abnormal and can relate to many of these. Most of us are a paycheque or 2 away from homelessness in this unside down world we are presently living in. The funny thing is, normally I wouldn't even be paying attention or caring one way or the other, simply because there's very little I can do to change any of it anyway. I'm well on my way to dealing with much of this and your advice has helped. I appreciate it.

Excellent information! Point by point highlights exactly what the enemy of peace and stability looks like so I can be aware and not being controlled and unaware of my own behaviors left wondering why I’m still struggling in certain areas. Thanks Anna !

I cannot tell you how much hope you have given me

Thank you so much for this video. I can see very clearly where I’ve made progress and the areas that are holding me back. I really do isolate myself and that’s what needs to change the most. The fact that I even want to find a Church where I feel I belong is progress in itself 🥳

Thank you so much for the work you do and for your videos!! I feel so validated and “seen” - especially after watching this particular one. At this point in my healing, I feel as though I am learning how to be human again without the programming of my childhood. It is as though my brain is being asked to work differently after operating the same way for over 40 years.

ok, I still have a few things to address but apparently I'm doing really well... at some point in time I struggled with everything you listed and now it's just a few left to look into deeper! Yay! thank you for everything you do!

This is the most helpful to me so far. I have already done a lot of work, but your videos will put my recovery in hyper-drive. I can also attest to what you say that when even one behavior is changed, it starts steamrolling into other good behavior. I can't believe how far I've come, but then again, I'm 60 and have worked on it most of my adult life.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

8 ай бұрын

So glad you are here! Good luck on your healing journey! Nika@TeamFairy

you save my life and happiness, from the day one since i learn ur video's, my healing process has good progress, stil a lot to do, but i'm really happy with who i am now. thank you so much

Wow! I see sooo many of these behaviors in BOTH me and my husband, but he HATES it when I ask him to watch a video that I believe would be helpful for my or our mentality. It's super infuriating!

Thank you. Your research and experience mean so much to me, I learn a lot from you.

I love how practical and grounded in reality your advice is. What you say has been consistently actionable. Thank you. ❤️

Wow. This is super informative and so hard to watch. I had to stop halfway and binge watch something funny because it was triggering me so much. Most of these apply except for numbing with substances. I was able to quit alcohol and cigarettes recently. One healing behaviour I see in myself is that I don’t feel tempted to fake the truth. I would really like to work on everything else thats on the list. Thank you Anna!

Thank you for these short videos. Long ones seem daunting to many people with this issue.

Thank you , peace to you all.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for gifting me,a healing 30 plus years of therapy hasn't. Determined to create my chosen mindset

Anna I can't thank you enough for such a meticulously analysed video about the self defeating behaviours that we may have due to CPTSD and what baby steps to take, consciously to regain our happy normal current behaviour, as a loving, social being. I am going to use the notes from this video, and translating yoir entire lecture/lesson/guidance to my Hindi speaking community, with your kind permission. You are truly a fairy...not in fantasy, but in reality! my blessings to you and your team!

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

11 ай бұрын

Thank you so much for this kind note. If you do create a Hindi translation, I welcome you to upload a caption file to the video itself, so other Hindi speakers can enjoy it too!

Thank you and Happy 2024. I love how you say you may have one or two but I have had almost here. Don’t fret everyone. It gets better. Promise 🎉

Another fantastic and incredibly helpful video - thank you Anna for all you do 💜👍🏾

I do Every single one of these. So Overwhelmed

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

11 ай бұрын

You're in the right place, we're all here for you :) -Calista@TeamFairy

@kimberlytrent5245

9 ай бұрын

@@CrappyChildhoodFairy ❤️🌷

This was very encouraging bc I was really feeling down but this reminded me of just how far I have come and to keep going ❤

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

10 ай бұрын

I'm so happy to hear that :) -Calista@TeamFairy

Something to consider. Many people who struggle with Asperger’s have experienced trauma from childhood rejection based on their condition. People on the spectrum struggle with categorising the importance of events, opinions and ideas. Everything is important. For them, developing fixed and black and white values is a survival technique to spare them the anxiety of confusion. This may mean added challenges as they navigate through both the childhood trauma and the ASD limitations in thought

You're a blessing to the Internet. Thank you CCF!

Thank you, Anna. This video brings me much hope for the future xx

Your links are great and deep! They are helping me though easier said than done! I had no abuse or trauma as such, but may be other traumas related to culture and expectations and being around over-protective family! This helps really

self defeating behaviours - neglect of body (shabby clothes, bad food...) - blame (not seeing your role in problems) - black and white thinking (always outraged) - numbing with substances - numbing with food -

@GodiscomingBhappy

5 ай бұрын

- addictive use of media - dishonesty (exagerating, lying,....) - work problems - irritability (arguments, ranting, rage....) - attraction to conflict partners/friends - being in an unfulfilling romantic life (abussive sexuality.....) - addictive use of fantasy (fleeing reality) - avoidance of ppl and responsibility (covert avoidance) - deadding (living below your means, debt) - repeating traumatic patterns Dont panick.... you can get out of this. You matter, i dont know you but i know God Loves you and i love you too because i know how much it hurts. You can do it, one step at the time.

Thank you so much. This video and the years of experience and thought behind it have made such a difference today. Ive sent this vid to myself to refer back to as a lodestone. Thank you.

This is so good. Thank you.

this video was extremely informative, thank you so much!

Thank you so much!!! This is so helpful🌸

So much insight in one video. I’m learning so much about myself and why I’ve been having so much trouble and pain in life. Now that I’m understanding the whys I feel more empowered to change and grow. Thank you! 🙏

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

6 ай бұрын

Wow, I'm so happy to hear that! Thank you for taking the time to comment :) -Calista@TeamFairy

Thank you, Anna. This is so precise and helpful. I know we all have to do things ourselves, but it is helpful when someone points important things out. 🙏 Fantastic, the part where you say that when we do one small positive thing, it somehow opens up a small space for new action. Thank you. 🙏

Love these videos and I appreciate that the information is free and I’m aware that it’s free because there’s advertising, however each time a commercial interrupts suddenly it makes me wish I could physically do something to the person in the advertisement. Watching these while just having experienced a trauma storm is brutal with the advertising abruptness.

This is the best ever information I have ever watched, life changing! Thank you fairy 🧚‍♀️🙏🏻💕✨

...One thing that i realized recently, is how important it is to not be like: "I have to solve it first." It really doesn't help to let your issues keep you from doing what you want to do, because you made yourself believe that you need to solve x, y, z first, in order to enjoy life. There is no reason why it would exclude each other.

Good one, Thanks! I started a long time ago, to clean myself up, away from the cowardly bits in me, which many still do, do not want liers screamers, shittalkers flying monkeys, manipulaters, heavy drinking, abusive people, in any way, around me anymore, and with that, I also, do not want to have persons around, who do these things to me, or to others. And with having taking that inside of me, and chosen, what I want instead of what I dont want, it is in a changing since some yrs. Better for me, and better for others. Heart knows the Truth.

Hey Anna I want to thank you wholeheartedly for putting in words so precisely what I feel and experience for so long.

The constant outrage now seems to dominate popular culture, and it’s become so bad that we can’t have sensible conversations anymore. It’s perhaps a reflection of how our personal trauma shapes our society over time.

Thank you so much… I appreciate everything you said because it resonated so deeply within me! It was just what I needed to hear this morning. My journey has been long, complicated, and complex. It is a wonderful feeling to teach myself to appreciate it, and slowly watch my esteem and confidence build! I am grateful for your sharing, thank you again!😊

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

8 ай бұрын

Thanks for your comment & thanks for watching! Nika@TeamFairy

Thank you so much for the straight forward advice and examples 😊

I recently subscribed to your channel and each time I watch your video, I am so amazed at how accurate you are. Thank you for what you do, you do it exceedingly well.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

8 ай бұрын

Thank you for being a part of our community here! Nika@TeamFairy

What a wonderful exciting video. Makes you feel so good to move on. Thank you

Thank you for this video. It truly was a blessing to me. I deal with almost everything you mentioned. But, I also noticed I have healed a bit too when you talked about the happy endings. Thank you for giving me your knowledge.

Your videos are SO helpful. Thank you! ♥

I didn’t realize that lying is also due to trauma, or that it’s often because we’re ashamed of who we are. Knowing this makes me feel less “icky” and more positive about being able to change it. Will make it my top priority!

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

8 ай бұрын

Gald to hear this video is motivating! Good luck on your healing journey! Nika@TeamFairy

I'm so thankful I can watch this, very helpful!!!

Thank you for this❤️

I'm 53 and moved into a good neighborhood 3 years ago and really was finding some happiness and then it seems like the haters came and people that decided to turn into stalkers and just all kinds of trauma out-of-the-blue that I didn't expect and I am finally conquered my eating disorder but I'm at a point where I just have zero energy and zero motivation to get things done so I know it's depression and anxiety has been incredible in the last few months but thank God that's easing off I'm just trying to rest and not beat myself up and hope I can get back to completing projects because my lease comes up in 6 months and I'm freaking out

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

11 ай бұрын

I hope these techniques help soothe the symptoms a bit. Glad you're here. -Cara@TeamFairy

@charlottecoolik9872

11 ай бұрын

@@CrappyChildhoodFairy thank you so much I listen to you most of the afternoon and I'm getting ready to go take a bike ride now that it's dark and cool and I will be listening and doing the work and I think you so much and wish you happy summer

THIS. Thank you so, so much for this. Will probably watch it daily ❤️🙏🏻❤️

Good timing for this extremely valuable information. Thank you. 🙏🏼

This is SOOOOOOO necessary. Thank you so much. Excellent insight.

This video really nails me 100%. I have tried all of these things to feel better. I am now 46 years old. I don't think I will be perfect, but I can work on some things. Quit Alcohol. #1. I have went back to Alcohol over and over. Stopping for periods of time only to go back to it because it helps calm down my anxiety. I can't relax around people. I am either a hermit, or I am out there acting crazy with the alcohol.

Thank you so much! My life in a nutshell. For me your videos are so valuable as they are showing the difference between knowing the road and walking the road - or having the road already walked to the end. I can confirm all aspekt you adress from my own experience and join in the lovely enthusiasm you spread as you are sending your message: healing is possible that way!

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

9 ай бұрын

Thanks for your comment & thanks for watching! -Cara@TeamFairy

I have learned and healed so much because of you, I can’t thank you enough and I’m trying to pay it forward!😊also I reduce alcohol.

Jeez! All this is normal for people like me & I can know I'm such a person if all this is as normal for me as it is for everyone with c-ptsd?! Now that I know how normal all this is, I feel better and know I can better work toward a new & improved normal. Thanks, Anna!

Thank you so much Ms. This has been truly helpful. God bless you.