All under 18s are "children." Period. "Corruption of a minor" is a FELONY. As a teacher, I am a manditory reporter and according to my training, just exposing a minor to even just suggestive images is a reportable offense. If they are going to allow 13-17 year olds into the group, they HAVE to be more strict about posts like this.

OP posting fetishwear where minors can see it is illegal in some countries

The lolita community already fights tooth and nail against fetishists, they don't need people like this coming in with fetish bollox claiming it's lolita, and then to be silenced for raising concerns. I feel especially bad for the minor. I'm still only 17 myself, and I fully agree that this kinda shit just isn't appropriate in this context. But to be verbally yeeted in front of a train for saying that is absolutely ridiculous

I just want to say that I HIGHLY APPRECIATE how you mentioned towards the end that lolita fashion should be "safe and inclusive for minors AND asexuals." As someone who is ace, I feel like we're often disregarded a bit too easily and people force things on us in an attempt to "fix" us or something, and your comment just felt really validating. So thank you for including us!

Thank you for also mentioning the asexual people in the community. The reason I like and wear the fashion is because I want people the think "Oh that's a cute outfit they got on" instead of "oh that's a sexy/hot/ext outfit they got on". That face gear thing horrifies me. I can't believe the mods let something so OBVIOUSLY A KINK ACCESSORY stand, let alone defend it. Honest everyone should just mass exodus CoF and go start a new group like... yikes

I think Sharon should be removed as a mod. Primarily because several things contradicts the rules and terms of service for the community. As a mod you're held to the standard of having to enforce those rules, and if you can't well that's not the job for you. The fact that this person openly says in a lot of their stuff at this is fetish gear and that they are for all intensive purposes of fetishist on their insta prove the point. As for censorship, when you are in a community you have to respect the community guidelines. You agree to those terms of services when you get an account or you join a community. The fact of the matter is the fact that Sharon doesn't think that teenagers are children, is really scary because while teenagers are developing into adults they still are underage and they still are children and anytime in a court of law you will end up subject to that. This is a nightmare.

My two cents on this situation: Personally, I think we (as a community) should just do a mass exodus and make a new page that strictly prohibits fetish gear being used in coord pictures. For one, to show that this kind of fetish pushing enabling behaviour is NOT ON. And also because at this point, it's clear that the CoF mods just want to cater to their own kinks instead of giving this fashion the love and (most importantly) RESPECT it and it's members deserve. It's really sad that we should even have to make a new page where lolitas of all ages are safe, but CoF mods just can't be trusted with this anymore (at least for now). As a side-note, I don't interact with most of the lolita Facebook pages (except second-hand pages and pages that just update you on new releases) and now I'm really happy I never joined CoF.

I remember being too nervous to post a coord that leaned too Otome > Lolita in CoF back in the day because of how harsh they were deleting coords that are too casual - I can't believe this is an actual mod!? And if the vast majority of the responses are people uncomfortable with the post, why is it even a question of if you should keep it up or not???

As an Ace who witnessed the shit storm firsthand, I just wanted to thank you for speaking up for us in this vid. The mods dropped the ball big time.

Tyler: lolita warrior and protector of our community

“The protection of the spirit of lolita fashion as a completely non-sexual form of feminine expression, safe and inclusive for asexual and underage persons, should always come first.”

From what was described, that outfit didn’t sound lolita whatsoever. On top of that, they posted a picture with fetish gear in a forum that allows minors. The OP should have kept their picture the appropriate places, ie. their Instagram and other groups who are 18+ and allow fetish things. I’m not even going to get into the fact that they fetishize the wrong lolita because it’s only 8 in the morning.

Good god

I honestly don't care if someone chooses to combine lolita and fetishwear in their personal style. But if you wouldn't wear bondage gear to your office job, you are capable of understanding what attire is considered appropriate varies from space to space. So why is it that you think the lolita community doesn't require the same courtesy?

I've lived the gothic life. I've lived the fetish life. I've lived the Lolita life. And they should always stay mutually exclusive when they cross the line or violate already established rules. Especially when you "claim" a piece/accessory is ok when it's clearly not. I'm with you here, Tyler. That face ring is not Lolita. And it, sure as hell, is not appropriate for kids. My daughter (14) is a Lolita and I should not have to explain fetish gear to her because some idiot doesn't understand the bare basics of actual Lolita fashion and forces her to be exposed to it without a care of the impact it will make on them.

I feel so bad for the minors that spoke up but were deleted by the mods. To have their voice invalidated like that in the face of actual harmful content in the name of not stirring the pot and getting things done is awful. Shame on that mod and I hope justice gets served.

So closet of frills is canceled, where are we migrating ladies

Oh god i remember this post i was so shocked how everyone seemed to be ok with sex gear in lolita even saying it was "normal accessory in oldschool" yes someone commented that, i was personally too scared of being attacked to comment anything.

Lor and Tyler's friendship gives me life ☺

As someone who has survived sexual trauma, I had a massive change in what I wore after I had processed what happened. I went from wanting to look “hot and sexy” to being absolutely mortified of the idea, and that’s what has drawn me into Lolita. The idea that I can look alternative and beautiful yet, modest, allows me to express myself safely. Allowing kinksters into the community, while it might make the community “evolve” and “be more accepting”, it also undermines the idea of a safe space for MINORS (!), Sexual abuse victims, asexuals, and a general population of people who just.... doesn’t like the idea of being fetishized? I don’t see why the mods are catering to the vocal minority when it actively harms the majority