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I care with every cell in my body..... until I don't. And when that happens, I door slam and never look back. No drama. No talks. Done.

@TC-gx3qn

2 жыл бұрын

@ Rachael Tramonte Exactly- No contact ever again.

@beebee9803

2 жыл бұрын

Yep

@paolajuarez6222

2 жыл бұрын

👏same!

@rickhollis6896

2 жыл бұрын

Yep can’t do 75/80%

@justbeyoulikeme2860

2 жыл бұрын

Yep, I'm not angry. I'm just done.

I only door slam people who deserves it. Mistaking kindness for weakness is always the rock they perish on.

@vickigarvie4093

9 ай бұрын

LOL 😂 me too. I've recently only found out that we door slam. Known I'm an INFJ for over 20 years but took no notice until I'm looking at KZread. In the past 2 years I have literally shut my front door on 2 people other than that I tell people that I no longer wish to be friends, that this is my decision not a negotiation and never see them again. Then I take a nap 😂

When people take my kindness for weakness, and think they’ll get away with treating me badly.. the door slam is real fun… especially when it comes out of nowhere 💪

@TejetejatyTJ

2 жыл бұрын

It may not be nice but if I'm pushed to the door slam I always have to hold a mirror for them to see who they are and then "kadoom" door slam. If I'm pushed to a door slam you had it coming

@PeterKnagge

2 жыл бұрын

My life has been a series of door slams, I think of it as a reverse or even anti trainwreck. When all is said and done at the end of the day it's their loss. Stay safe and good luck!

@schrodingerscat8621

2 жыл бұрын

I worked in an environment with a bunch of huge egos. I like to be kind and helpful to everyone, ideally that’s the environment I like to advocate and convey in my life. For some reason the shop foreman didn’t like that I was getting friendship and notoriety as a result of my kindness, it started with little things, picking on my work, having opinions about my process and procedure, ultimately getting a coworker in trouble that I was helping because he was too passive aggressive to attack me personally. Unfortunately, that’s when kindness becomes its alter ego which is the ax murderer. I verbally destroyed him in front of everyone and fed him into my verbal wood chipper, when the shop manager pulled us in the office to try and play damage control and regain control of the situation, I proceeded in consuming The shop foreman in front of the boss. By the end they were shaking my hand and apologizing to me. I hate having to be that guy, but like I said to them “ do not mistake my kindness for weakness” my last day was over a year ago, the day I punched out and took my stuff was the last day I spoke to anyone from that place. One big door slam. How dare you try to undermine my kindness and helpful nature! You force me to engage in verbal judo and show a man of will what will really is…

@billyb4790

Жыл бұрын

so many self righteous iNfjs in one spot.

@OceanicPearlz1

Жыл бұрын

Exactly, and It seems so natural to do when enough is enough no wonder :0

I find the lead up to a door slam very painful; when I am having to face the ugly realization that all of the emotional energy and love that I have expended on that person has been in vain and they truly do not have my best interests at heart at all. However, the door slam itself brings a sense of relief, happiness, and hope for the future. For me personally, the actual door slam is the end of the pain.

@CuracaoChic

Жыл бұрын

yes! We come to terms with the loss before we slam the door.

@TC-gx3qn

Жыл бұрын

@@CuracaoChic Definitely. Maybe that is why we are far less likely to get back with exes. 😊

@CuracaoChic

Жыл бұрын

@@TC-gx3qn I never go back to old pastures. I can no longer connect with a person that I have let go emotionally.

@TC-gx3qn

Жыл бұрын

@@CuracaoChic Same here. Romantically or friendships, all the same.

@shadowbody

Жыл бұрын

Just because something had to end doesn't mean you didn't have good moments. The door slam is the end of the chapter. Next chapter awaits.

The reason we move on so quickly because before we doorslam is because we have already moved on. I doorslam at the very last moment and last resort.

As an INFJ, I've never known any of us to jump into another relationship right after a door slam. Not ruling it out, just never in my experience. The earliest I've, personally, waited to enter another romantic relationship was a year. But most of the time it's years. Mainly because the pain is too great and the healing takes a long time... Even if I was the one to door slam, it's still heart breaking and I feel everything. So, a mature INFJ, who isn't BPD or a Narcissist, will wait. It's like having open heart surgery with no anesthesia. You just don't want to even bear the thought of putting yourself in the position again... And yet another reason why INFJs don't like to reminisce about a past relationship with memories or inside jokes: it hurts too much and the jokes are over. Nothing is funny after a door slam.

@schrodingerscat8621

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you for this testimony. I was the victim of a narcissist almost 2 years ago. I was so busy trying to protect her and be a good partner, I wasn’t looking out for my own well-being and mental safety. By the time I realized I was in a bad situation, it was really too late. She kept hovering me for the next 9 to 12 months while banishing me to the friend zone. I was so hurt and confused I was doubting everything about myself. When I regained my self-respect I gave her the traditional door slam. July will be two years since that happened, and I’m still reluctant to engage in another relationship. An INFJ just needs time to heal, Drowning my emotions with another relationship just doesn’t feel like a viable option

@yashivuvbolshomdomenakholm8274

2 жыл бұрын

@@schrodingerscat8621 I'm very glad you finally went no contact with her. I've been victim to narcissists in the past. They not only drain your physical resources but sanity and emotional reserve. While a door slam may seem unkind to normal people, to do it to a narc is exactly what is needed. Boundaries lines get all mixed up and always violated. That's the worst. It's too late to try to put up boundaries with these people when a person finally figures it out because narcissists already knows your kryptonite to break through yours boundaries. I don't know if other INFJs have gone through this, but the guilt the narcissist will use on it's supply is unbearable. The interesting thing is that narcs themselves have layers of deep self-shame but no emotional empathy, therefore will never change but carve to have the emotional connections that INFJs naturally have. I've found out it is because in my past, these narcissists needed me to function. But I refused to be a victim of these energy vampires any longer. I can't complete anyone but myself. In the period after this kind of relationship it's necessary to heal but to also get to know yourself (very hard for an INFJ) and to value yourself. Well done sir for learning and putting the proper boundaries around yourself for your own sanity.

@schrodingerscat8621

2 жыл бұрын

@@yashivuvbolshomdomenakholm8274 As you well know, every experience is a learning experience for an INFJ. I was unfamiliar with narcissism and the traits they possess. I did a lot of reading, watching videos, conversations with my therapist and certainly self reflection to understand, come to terms and overcome the stranglehold the narcissist can possess on an empath. I have to be honest, it was a terrifying experience, I had considered making a very permanent decision to stop my pain, but came to my senses at the last minute as self preservation overrode my decision making at the moment. I feel I’m much stronger as a result of the experience, and speak very freely of it as a cautionary tale to others. What I also found out was, my mother has narcissistic traits. Like I said, everything is a learning experience…

@yashivuvbolshomdomenakholm8274

2 жыл бұрын

@@schrodingerscat8621 thank you for sharing your experience. Thank you for being brave enough to tell the truth. I'm glad you are still here on the planet. You have value just because of who you are. Learning experiences are abound in these toxic relationships. Most people who are entangled in romantic relationships with a narc have had a parent or guardian that was one. That's what I discovered too. Praying for you and your loved ones.

@jpex9

11 ай бұрын

I’ve only done one door slam romantically I does hurt big time. If doorslamed people before but a romantic one is gruelling She was damaged goods but not a narcissist. But we as INFJs must take some accountability ourselves remember we do have very high expectations yet are not very good at setting them boundaries and expectations For narcissistm info I suggest you only view Prof Sam Vaknin all the other self styled experts are full of nonsense

The door slam is not malicious, and not done lightly either. The big take away is we have already grieved, and anguished and tried to address it well before the door slam.

If you never want to be DOOR SLAMMED....watch for clues. Door slams feels good and is final, when the other person usually "doesn't want to talk calmly" That door will never, ever be opened again. Hopefully the person getting slammed learns the valuable lesson before their next relationship. Every word he says in this video to 100% TRUE.

"If that's you, congratulations. You've made it to the INFJ never again book of lessons". This is hilarious and so apt😅. This is one of the most apt and exact videos I've watched about the INFJ door slam PSYCH-O. Thank you. I'm literally in this exact process right now, and everything said is reflective of my motivation and process. People underestimate the value of the energy we spend to be in their lives. Coupled with our ability to be consistent, they always ultimately take it for granted and assume it'll last forever. It's such a sad reality to come to terms with but it is what it is. Personally, this is one of my favourite videos of yours. Keep doing the great work.

@faridaashu5505

Жыл бұрын

@Stephanie I feel you there. May we all learn it finally, and adjust accordingly.

INFJ here and a fellow door slammer.

Number 7 is really true. For other people, they thought it is easy for us to door slam someone. What they do not know is that before coming up on such a decision, it takes days, weeks, months and even a year of sorrow and pain which is truly heartbreaking.😢 But once we had done the door slam, that's the end of everything. We can finally fee the freedom from an imprisonment liked toxic relationship. It not the door slamee that just felt the heartbreak but most specially the door slammer on first hand.

@tlhogid663

2 жыл бұрын

Took me three years of rumination before I broke up with a friend last month. She seemed surprised.

As an INFJ, there's an unfortunate point sometimes when you realize you are being manipulated. Maybe it's a description of an event that is inconsistent with the previous version (or two versions they described). This can happen personally or professionally. Who wants to be lied to or manipulated? And yet... we tolerate that to a point. But once that point is reached...the door must close. Chances were given, as were options for clarification, most INFJ's want to find an explanation at all costs because we care about people. But there comes a point...and when reached and then INFJ's need the door shut and bolted.

I had to doorslam recently. Four years I spent in a relationship with her and her kids. I truly love them. I did everything cooked,cleaned, everything with the long haired dogs. I worked very hard to make everyone happy. I was less important then the kids but that's a given. But friends, dogs, wine and never wanting to compromise hurt and slowly tore me down. Not wanting to hurt or damage anyone I learned to suck it up and just take more alone time to deal. I would have stayed. She was a white liar, I watched her do that to everyone. A few months ago she started to do that to me over the phone. She finally looked me in the eyes and white lied to me. I always knew when she was doing it just always felt it. I confronted her on it because I could I could prove it was a lie. She changed her story right into another lie. I proved it was also a lie. I truly love them enough to know that if I can't trust my partner to be honest with me I would pull back more and more. I would be more judging . Knowing things would only be worse on the kids if I stayed. I packed up all my things and left. It was the hardest choice I have ever made I do love them all. We don't always do what we want but what we know we have too.

@aodh5966

2 жыл бұрын

You did the right thing. No doubt valuable lessons were learned. Hope you find the woman you deserve! Keep your standards high

@beebee9803

2 жыл бұрын

Had the same situation, but with a friend of 13 years. Babysat her dog whenever she asked (ALWAYS said yes), helped her clean 3 houses so she could sell them & move, took care of her post-op multiple times (moved in while she recuperated - her OWN KIDS refused to help her any of those times), always said "sure, I'll help," EVERY time she asked. When she met her future husband & they got married, I was persona non grata. As an INFJ, after realizing that for 13 years, I had NOT been her close friend, but rather her pet sitter, house cleaner & maid --- I said "friendship's over," & have no regrets. I take comfort in knowing that at least I was a loyal & faithful friend at all times. She was not & really has no real understanding of friendship. I feel for her husband. Hope he figures her out sooner than the 13 years it took me. FYI -- whenever I asked HER for a favor or help (which was rare), she either said it "wasn't a good time," she "had plans & couldn't change them," or else acted like I was making unreasonable demands. I kept telling myself she was just "that way," because I was trying to give her the benefit of the doubt. Never gonna make THAT mistake again !! This was a very valuable life lesson !!

@yashivuvbolshomdomenakholm8274

2 жыл бұрын

I had a similar situation with my ex recently. He took advantage of me, also. But his lies weren't white. They were huge and he would change his story all the time. When I would ask him logically of how his story changed so completely, he would just look at my blankly. I believe he was a narcissist. I guess I was just supposed to believe whatever came out of his mouth. I was listening to a lot of psychology podcasts about telling the truth in relationships before it ended... If it weren't for those videos, I wouldn't have been prepared... It still felt like the rug was pulled up from under me. The worst part was leaving his daughter. She even called me mom because her biological mom passed away when she was a baby. I loved them both so much... Well, still love her. It was easier to let go of him because of the manipulation but it has been excruciating to not have her in my life (she's only 8 years old and I'm the only mom she's ever known but I have no rights). My heart is completely shattered.

@danpetty3539

2 жыл бұрын

@@yashivuvbolshomdomenakholm8274 I'm sorry. The kids really do make it painful. I'm betting like me you put in and did everything you could. This was the hardest choice I ever made and the most painful.

@yashivuvbolshomdomenakholm8274

2 жыл бұрын

@@danpetty3539 yes, I did put up with a lot and was the only one who took care of his daughter. I'm so worried for her developing mental health now. She already has so much self hatred at 8 years old because he would blame everything on her or me. What did you do to mentally or emotionally let go of the children? Because I'm having a really hard time with it. Any advice would help.

I've door slammed quite a few people in my life. In fact, in the last few years itself. And in most of those cases, it was gradual but it was also literally a door slam in the end.

Door slam is";No way Back for me 🙏🙏♥️.

I'm glad that the video maker had the empathy and knowledge to point out that it's not only the person being stepped away from that hurts. The whole thing sucks. It's the death of a relationship even if it was a shitty or toxic one and a grieving period is sure to follow. We'll still do it, because we are too smart not to. And it's a kindness. No one should want to stay in a relationship that is not nurturing them. Same goes for the person being walked away from. And yet, we'll labor over it for months before we actually act hoping to be proven wrong.

Absolutely 💯. After giving plenty of opportunities to people totaly undeserving, I have door slammed many a times. Never regreted any of the door slams either. So true too about the keeping it civil on certain relationships that still needed some level of contact 😆. Funny only in the last 2 years I discovered about personality types and specifically this INFJ personality type that so weirdly fitted myself. I lived my life thinking I was so different that could not fit with the "normal" standard, now I understand myself better. Thank you for this great video 😍

It’s for sure a painful process

@PSYCH-O

2 жыл бұрын

I say it's worse for the INFJ than the other person. 😅

I literally laughed while watching this because it’s 1000% accurate. I LITERALLY blocked a friend of 14 years, a couple days ago because I couldn’t take her toxic, dismissive, arrogant, boundary pushing, disrespectful demeanor anymore, after multiple attempts at trying to confront her and resolve things…. I said my piece, respectfully but boldly… she dismissed everything I said and tried to flip it on me…. So I blocked her… I’ve literally had a feeling for months that this friendship would end and while there’s a few things I do miss…. I have other friends… other friends who actually value me as a person whom I can feel safe around and be myself around… and don’t keep pushing my boundaries. Two days prior to blocking her, I blocked a guy I had been talking to for a short time… literally not worth my mental energy…

Yesterday I slammed the door, it is not the first time(and will not sit here and say I am proud of it), but I am amazed at how the person is just gone. So much pain, deep, deep pain and then they are nothing. Wanted so bad just to see them, now I would not spare a moment for them. Unless in dire need, life threatening, I would not lift a finger. I have become a ghost.... an echo

Well as an INFJ myself … i speak for myself, i will always gave chances for other people to explained and confront them about the problems, but once i got enough … i will like not even mention the problem and let it passed. 😅 there will be no argument at all, not even gave the person chance to fight. I am sorry.

@tlhogid663

2 жыл бұрын

Don't be sorry. Perfectly reasonable.

@shadowbody

Жыл бұрын

It's wise.

These habits are so true of me. I thought I was just odd this way but I guess it is an INFJ thing. I have done every one of these actions.

Yeah, I've had to door slam a couple times already. It is not a fun thing and it does take a while to go through because of our willingness to want things to work. Hell in the last months with an ex I was trying to be friends with I was thinking "maybe I can just keep then around to write a paper on psychosis, narcissism, and the desperate need to be unique." (Wasn't gonna just a joke thought to myself, but the possibility was there) but ultimately having to slam that door is what needs to happen for both parties in hope that they may be able to self reflect and so that you as the INFJ can heal from the wounds they caused

100% accurate. I spend months agonising and analysing every event, conversation, hurtful deed and each sign of abuse. I then instinctively start to step back and distance myself until the next one is the deciding factor and I just leave. I say nothing but just switch off completely re this person and there is NO going - back. I would like to think the recipient learns from this but as insincere, hurtful and toxic, I doubt that they do but at least I have escaped.

I never want to give up but sometimes it's just a necessity unfortunately thankyou

@PSYCH-O

2 жыл бұрын

Exactly, it's the unfortunate side to life and maturity 🙄

@andy1971williams

2 жыл бұрын

@@PSYCH-O there's just no pleasing some folks no matter how hard you try, they just throw all your efforts back in your face, trample all over your heart and expect you to put up with it !

I am within 2 months of a door slam. Apparently I don't tolerate toxic people very well, especially predators that feed off of kindness! Weird though with this one, I started detaching about 3 yrs ago. For some reason I began deleting the nice things I did for him. Until I did nothing. And he did absolutely nothing, so in the end we were left with nothing!

I door slam but I always forgive and get sucked back in.. eventually

@tlhogid663

2 жыл бұрын

Never ever get hoovered back.

Workplace colleagues are the worst. Nobody cares about your feelings. Just do your job and put yourself back in your toolbox until next shift.

@tlhogid663

2 жыл бұрын

😭 the worst

I always thought there was something wrong with me. It's fascinating to see other people's minds that work just like mine. We just don't want to waste time caring about people who don't care about us as much as we care about them. Been married over 10 years and starting to see these signs in myself. I want everything to work out but I'm at the point where if my feelings are not reciprocated I'm going to stop trying. I do too much for others to not to deserve to be happy too. Extra love to all you others going through something similar.

That's me to a T!!! I can almost here the door creak as it's building up. The folks I've door slammed never saw it coming.

This is so true. Was talking with a girl for a while and then she told she wasnt over her ex and I was so sad for those couple weeks we weren’t talking. We saw each other again and started talking and then she friendzoned me again. Immediately doorslammed her, blocked her off everything and never looked back. They get one more chance and theyre done.

That's me alright. Close the box, it's dead.

This is amazingly accurate! The term "Door Slam" is so appropriate. Don't forget that the flying monkeys MUST also be on the other side of the door. Thank you for sharing!

I am an infj t and have doorslammed a lot of people who thought that they can take me for granted and also lacked integrity and caused more turmoil to me

Door slammed someone last year, and someone this year. Hopefully won't have to do it again for a good while

The time and steps to get to the point of the doorslam is very draining…weighing out all the reasons,all the ifs and buts can be soul depleting but once I’ve closed that door there is no looking back no pain,no hate,no love just nothing only a sense of liberation,a feeling of a crystal clear energy that washes over me.

Iv door slammed 5 of my childhood friends last year. And they seem like total strangers to me. Yet they always show up almost everywhere around my house. They even hang out on my street, chatting loud. It only makes me angrier. U absolutely spot o ln

This is SO me. I just Slammed the Door on a decades long friendship. And so textbook...I slammed, I forgot, I moved on n I'm turning over that new leaf n I'm lovin it!

Another great video- thank you!

Accurate and very relatable

I didn't know what that thing was..the "door slam"? I called it,... "dropping you off a high cliff" ...never to be heard from again! 🤗 Great explanation!

@PSYCH-O

2 жыл бұрын

Lol I like that analogy 😆

this channel is sooo underrated holly molly keep going!

Ups... I often say things I later regret. But if its a real doorslam, the Person will feel obviosly over time 😅

"Don't care about peoples' problems"

@tlhogid663

2 жыл бұрын

I have actually said this to people recently before full door slam. "People must not come to me with their problems." By "people", I obviously mean that particular person.

I have done this since I was really young and it seemed so opposite of how I usually feel about and treat people; this now makes so much sense!!

I can’t believe how accurate this is. 🤯🤯 I am definitely a door slammer.

I had two best friends that were both INFJ, one Male and then other Female. I was friends with Miguel since 2nd grade and I was friends with Stormey since 6th grade. The both of them were my best friends and it sucks that I’ve lost both of them. Miguel and I have lots in common, as we’d talk about concepts, ideas, and how life would be like in the future. Sadly I took his kindness for granted, as I was immature and It came to mind that, yeah as an INTP I’m cold, heartless, and would rather spend time figuring out the world instead of others emotions, but I sometimes miss his company, as we were both great friends. Anime? Heavy Metal? Videos Games? We would skip school and hangout like there was no tomorrow. Stormey was an amazing friend and a potential lover, she was bright, amazing, and we’d talk all night over the phone. Funny jokes, Dumb ideas, and what we had in common. It was exactly like my friendship with Miguel, but Stormey was a girl. A cute one at that! She was into anime, video games, tattoos, piercing, she was like the girl of my dreams and funny enough, she showed up in my dreams a couple of times, but our friendship ended. It was after I had fallen out of my girlfriends favor and she cheated on me for no reason, which angered me greatly. It was at this point that I grew colder and colder, emotions meant nothing to me, and I had a thirst for power, as I wanted revenge against my ex. It was then at 16 years old, nobody recognized who I was and people feared me. The anger and vibes I was giving off literally had this feeling of “ Don’t fuck with me or I will beat the shit outta you “. Six years later I revert back to my old self, but it was too late. I wasn’t popular amongst my friends anymore, most people hated me, and everything felt off at this point. Stormey at didn’t have feelings for me anymore and She saw me more as a nuisance half the time. Miguel and I were still friends, but he was tired of my immature attitude towards life and now we hardly ever talk. As an INTP I believe we have a lot in common, as we can be great friends, but lovers? Idk, apparently INTPs/INFJs are known as the golden couple, but maybe I just made things bad between me and my friends. Regardless it’s best to say that feelings are wasted on us INTPs, we are thinkers and INFJs are people who use their feelings to understand people. Not to mention, why would I want to understand something irrelevant to me? I’m willing to be a great and caring person, but giving up my thinking and mental abilities? No thanks I’ll pass on that 😂

@TamagoEgg

11 ай бұрын

Lol I thought you're self reflecting but no. It's not about giving up your thinking and mental ability but to learn about EQ and emotionally connect with others before using logic and rationality. You can speak logic but you need to learn when is the right time to use it, not just throw it around trying to be right all the time. People see it as bossy, arrogant, egoistic and trying to put others down with your patronizing language. If you truly want to change, admit it if not why would you even be watching video about INFJ. You do not have to avoid your own emotions.

@Roasty420

11 ай бұрын

I'm learning to use my emotions more, but it's difficult, when most of your life you've pushed your emotion aside and all because you refuse to look weak or even seem. irrational. I mean INTJs don't show any emotion, as they are afraid, they might seem unintelligent or irrational as well. Honestly, I wish I had mastered my emotions long ago, then maybe life would be different. Currently I am studying to become a computer programmer. Then I am going to create an app that'll be sent into market, which will then make me money. I'll move up to CEO and I'll become rich. My goal? To help people and save the planet. I want to innovate like other people who are just like me. Bill Gates, Sergey Brin, Larry Page, and Steve Wozniak. All of them are INTPs, and these same people created Apple, Microsoft, and Google. I believe if I try hard enough and work hard enough, I can accomplish anything.

is it still a door slam if the person has reached out and i have taken their call? I don't ever call them nor do i feel guilty not visiting them or anything i'm just not even angry anymore but i certainly stay away from them. But i will say there are some ppl that are just too toxic where i blocked them on Social media and telephone and pretend not to see them if we're in the street...without feeling guilty but i hope the best for them anyway

@shariedumoulin9920

2 жыл бұрын

Yeah, it's still a door slam. I'm guilty of the same. If they reach out, out of need, I will at least listen, maybe offer a hand, but no opportunity to discuss what happened.

I get very analytical about it, weigh out all the pros and cons (even made a spreadsheet once); can i help this person not do BLAH? Then try a couple of different ways and without improving results... I start removing them from my daily thoughts, monthly plans, and whatever future along with memories until all of that space is a cold black whole. Then on final straw is when they doTHAT thing, i ask myself; "Do i need this person in my life?" And by then they are a person on a bus and i can feel my energy coming right back to me and i walk away and leave that void in my past and go forward happy 😄

#4 is so me lmaooooo and it’s always being mentioned to me! But I love this trait!

This is so me.

100% true 🙂👍

The door slamee. Sheesh I wish I knew this stuff sooner.

@SHAYBR33

8 ай бұрын

Me too. This just happened to me and I didn’t know it was a thing until recently.

I door slammed even before I knew there’s a word for it and before I knew I was an INFJ. So far I have only done it twice. I hope I don’t have to do it again.

Shiat! Now that i think about it i really cant remember what my ex liked, what was her quirks, its not even a memory, thank you for the great content.

@susansalvucci4281

10 ай бұрын

Many years ago, before I knew what an INFJ was, i slammed the door on my husband. He deserved it, of course. But I was surprised that once I moved on, I couldn’t remember what he looked like. I didn’t know that side of me existed - survival mode.

How often do I have to say it? Stop hiding in my closet. Yes, I'm the INFJ who's done the door slam.

I slammed the door on my narcissist on May 11th, 2022

@amyitis

Жыл бұрын

🥳 woohoo!! It's been 7 months for me since the door slam on my narc ex. Never looked back. Keep it up!!

Pretty much yes

@PSYCH-O

2 жыл бұрын

Thanks for watching!! 🙌

WoW, just wow. I really didn't know but this describes me perfectly. I'm known for never going back, if an x is an X, typically they will never be anything more than an X. And yes people have a habit of saying things that can never be unheard. In a relationship if someone tells me "I don't love you, I never loved you, I don't love you anymore more" that person will NEVER have a chance to say that again. As a friend if you tell me, "we are not friends, we were never friends, we are no longer friends" the same applies. I had an extremely close friend for close to 4 decades in our 40s she decided to have kids through IVF, about 2 years before any kids WE decided to co parent the kids. 6 years later she had a 4yo and a 1 month old. One day the 4yo would not eat anything but popsicles, when she wanted her 6th I told her no, not until you eat some food. Her mother got mad at me for this and laid into me. Explaining that "we are no longer doing this co parenting thing" The next morning she called freaking out because she had a meeting to go to and I wasn't there to watch the girls. When I finally answered the phone I had to explain that she basically fired me the day before and besides, I don't take care of children I can't say no to! That was 2018, I haven't spoken to her since. She knew better, she knew I don't argue and that if she made demands I would fallow through on those demand. She is now 50, raising an 11 and 4 yo. This same person would introduce me to others as her "gay friend" this only stopped after me asking for it to when I started introducing her as my friend that can't keep a date long enough to become anything more than just a date.

The months, weeks leading to it or actually miserable because it's not something that I want to do, it's something that I know is what's best probably for both parties.

I slam the door on the "Bad-Actors" in my life. I don't need or want them in any aspect of my life. It gets slammed hard, and it is slammed permanently. No exceptions and no regrets!

03:39 ok so now the trend is to have part of your shirt tattooed to match your shoulder.😮

I am an INFJ. I once had a romantic relationship with someone with BPD (though I didn’t understand what that was at the time). I was love bombed then lead to believe she wanted to marry me and I proposed. She accepted. Then eventually I was pushed away several times after reconciliation several times. The emotional roller coaster finally flew off the tracks when she said she wanted to be “just friends”. I just told her “goodbye “ and that was that. At the time I didn’t understand my own personality type or what an INFJ door slam was. My intuition just knew I was being subtly abused and it took action. It was like I wasn’t even in control of it. But the pain of that breakup hurt for nearly two years afterwards. No one can have a relationship with someone with a personality disorder and not be damaged by it.

Everyone in the comments: “I’MA InFj🤪”

[3:10 - 3:27] He said, "Congratulations". 🥳🎉🥳🎉

I think this concept is still quite misunderstood. For me, this is not a deliberate move, it happens spontaneously. And it is not "reserved" for anyone in particular. If I see that the other person does not respect or does not care about me, or if the person betrays me in some way, then I just automatically stop reaching out to them. At some point you just become acutely aware that you're mistreating yourself and that spending time with some individuals is time away from other genuinely valuable connections.

slamming

Is door slammed supposed to be like a friendship breakup? OOOOOOO I GOTTA STORY

The first time i got door slammed on me ** looking from the other ** quietness..... and then the door blows off its hinges and then shatters at the same time and then there's me green as the hulk with shredded clothes! No questions... everyone just turned into vapor! Lol

I’ve slammed the door on 4 people in my life.

Don't tell the nacacisst its called closure❤️🙏😇

I'm wondering if all the people in the comments bragging about having enjoyed door slamming are really INFJ's... It doesn't scream "compassion" to me, which is at the core of the INFJ personality. I would say I probably am an INFJ... I tested as one, and have performed the door slam with a few friends in the past. But I would not say I enjoyed the process. It feels rotten to just blank people you previously had spent time nurturing a friendship with, and have lots of memories together. Each time you let a call ring out, when you block them from seeing your online status. When you get messages asking what's wrong, but don't answer. It feels really shitty, but you don't reply because you know by this stage, to reply would just invite them back into your life, and the same shitty things that pushed you away will happen again. An INFJ performs the door slam not as a satisfying action of self gratuity and revenge, but because it is their only means of exiting a toxic or negative relationship due to their empathetic nature being a constant exploit for manipulation when communication is available.

@joanndeck4315

Жыл бұрын

It’s BOTH imho…..for protection from toxic people BUT it also feels soooooooooo damn good to love yourself and put yourself FIRST for once, since we are so compassionate and probably put that person’s feelings ahead of our own several times BEFORE the door slam….that’s why it’s satisfying to some of us. Do we still feel crappy? Ya of course, but knowing that we do care for our own feelings is a RELIEF for givers to the core 😊

@budayjerang2195

4 ай бұрын

Door slamming takes a toll on INFJ, if you have a history of trauma and Narcissistic parents.

This is so scary accurate to my current post divorce state 😳

Oopsie doodles...oh well.

😭

This is actually interesting cuz uh, my ex INFP half slammed the door on me first, and after a good ammount of being hurt and having the thoughts actually come in I have to look for a new future and give up, the door slam just happened. Since then, the only thing I've given is "Happy Birthday, youve come a long way" Thats it. Thats all I can offer to someone that had to leave my life in the end.

my bf is about to confirm this :/

Im slamming an entire group of people. The door slam knows no bounds. ❤❤❤

You want to be a negative in my life? Bye bye

2nd

@PSYCH-O

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you for the visit! 🙏

First

@PSYCH-O

2 жыл бұрын

💙

What what up with that woman and the messed up hands...

Wtf is infj...

@st0a

2 жыл бұрын

An MBTI type

The "Door Slam" is a necessity. Its not fun. Lot of fools commenting in here

im the slammer, and i laughed thru this whole video bc it is so accurate 😂❤