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I was never being too picky, I would have settled for most any attractive college girl from a good home and family. My problem was, I could never meet women. For all of my young life, I tried bars, singles clubs, churches and even a worthless $1200 dating service. Today I'm 70 years old and I never found a women who was right for me or to be the mother of my children. It's ironic because I'm the kind of guy women always complain in how they can never find.
MFs be like "I don't believe in astrology" and then 2 seconds later are trying to figure out if they're a Delta Male
Wrong. 37 and 43 years.
That's why I want to have kids so they can be my friends
I and my wife are INFJ - both had trouble w men not understanding us - we found each other. I'm personally the black sheep of my family. My wife is much more likeable than me but I'm always well liked at work. It's when people try to romance me and put me on a pedestal without ever listening to me about myself ... That creates a lot of problems because I'm nothing but honest.
I hate the way I'm constantly misunderstood, especially my sense of humor. Seems like every time I want to joke and laugh and have fun, there's hard feelings come of it. Another big area of my being misunderstood is in how I love and understand children and young teens and want to be innocent friends and enjoy life with them. People get worried and assume I'm a molester, and I hate that. When I'm highly attracted to certain women, they get scared and think I'm out to get them, and I hate that, too. People nowadays refuse to believe there's any such thing as an innocent person, another of my hates
This assessment, once again is a little bit wrong about the infj. The mature infj knows that humanity needs certain insights if they truly have insights to offer. The infj never stops seeking away to influence humanity toward a process of betterment.. do not use their influence after all the insights that they have gained would be inconceivable to the powerful and mature infj in society. The infj much like Gandhi and Martin Luther King Junior for instance will find carefully laid out plans to make sure that everyone's best interests are actually being fulfilled. The selfish infj abandons trying to inform humanity or their family for instance of what they've learned. The truly insightful infj will stop at nothing to make sure that everyone's needs are fulfilled around them.. this comes with careful calculation and planning.. if they are malignant in their efforts they will become something like a Hitler trying to dominate over others. If they are intelligent in their calculations they can manipulate outcomes around them to change systems in order to get outcomes for those who need them the most.. please do not assume that the infj ever will stop trying to share what they have come to understand.. to abandon sharing what they have come to understand is a sin according to an infj.. because they deeply long to help humanity, they will never stop trying.
While your assessment is essentially true for the young infj in development, this assessment is no longer accurate for the well matured and self-aware infj. I would love to chat with you sometime on this specific topic. A more accurate assessment of a mature and well-developed self-confident infj needs to be explored.
Rarely off
I have never felt less than because of how others have perceived my supposed masculinity or femininity.
💯🎯💯🫂✨💙💫.
Ditto for this sigma INTJ female. 👍
The one thing I don't agree with is that we don't answer calls or texts. I am an infj and always answer asap, at least within 24 hours, and never leave anyone on read. Maybe you should use better wording, like most infj's instead of just infj's in general.
I’m INFJ and it is hard to answer calls 😂. I wait after the phone stops ringing (if it is important they can leave a message )
Just discovered I was an INFJ last year. I still can not quite understand how things that took me 40+ years to figure out about myself are on a few of the better KZread videos, almost word for word. My existence and experience, my alienation, my loneliness, my pain, my inexorable compulsion to do what's right when my brain screams no as it is against my material or physical best interests. We have less free will than I had spent my life thinking we had, and most shockingly of all, I AM NOT BROKEN in some deep way I could never explain before. God, The Matrix, or the universe, something has a twisted sense of humor; you pick. This is well beyond coincidence. I am 10 different kinds of stubborn and rational about all things so no tin foil hat or reading myself into a situation; in broad strokes this is me. That is both amazing to see and hear, also slightly terrifying as to the possible meanings. Thank you for this video.
Thanks!
This describes me. I like being sociable ,but then need my own space Enjoy my own company. Enjoy my independence.
I thought I was the only one who practises music so quietly that nobody can hear if I make a mistake 😂 And I don't show my emotions outwardly a lot. If I won the lotto, I wouldn't scream and cheer like others would. I'm not that expressive. But when no one is watching, I love to dance and spin around, and skip and twirl down the street (if nobody is around). Yet I would NEVER dance in front of a person. I love being alone in nature. Walking in a forest or something similar makes me feel so alive, and reminds me how beautiful the world is 😊🩷🩵💚
Not me. Like Jesus, I am an INFJ who forgives everyone/everything, even if it goes completely against my morals and principles. I love unconditionally, so nobody ever leaves my heart no matter how badly they betray me, or how many times. They can abuse me for years and I'll still love them. I don't like a lot of things that people do. I'm very sensitive and have a strong sense of justice and fairness. I have a high moral standard, and I'm extremely against evil, hateful, or violent actions... But I still always try to understand everybody and love them for who they are beyond that. I was even able to love someone immediately after they murdered my friend who I also loved. Obviously living this way isn't easy... but I can't give up on anybody.
Unfortunately, people can be slick and so deceptive that we fall for the idea of who people portray themselves to be until we hone in on their inconsistencies
I seriously don't know any effects I give to people. I mean i go to work after about a week off and co workers are like hey where have you been? And by name too. I'm looking at them, thinking I didn't know anyone would notice I wasn't around or even knew my name. Well at least I know my body won't be rotten for long at home, cause someone would send a wellness check. That's good to know.
Wow! So me! Different!🥳👍🤗🩷
Pro tip: Must learn to let go of their own ideals and be flexible with the ideas of others and practice their extraverted intuition (Ne).
I’m a infj and I have to tell people I’m not a psych or a medium sometimes cause I can predict what’s going to happen before it happens. I just have an extreme awareness and can pick up small details of people/ animals, as well as, the vibes they give off. Even when I was younger I realized “oh they need blank or I need to show them I’m blank because they are saying or doing this behavior/ action” so I learned how to adapt my behavior to fit the situation, not in a manipulated or calculated way, but to know how I can take actions to prevent them from being hurt or to make it a pleasant experience for that person. I do sometimes psychoanalysis when I first meet people and don’t mean too because it’s just second nature at this point. Even as a young child I can’t watch people getting hurt or even when people are describing bad things that happen to them I cringe and can’t help but squirm cause I’m imagining it in my head it’s like I’m witnessing it happening in real time. Like for instance I couldn’t watch funnest home videos as a kid (and still to this day) because it would make me cry and upset to watch people feel embarrassed or hurt.
Interesting. I am a INFJ and can relate to most of this. Intelligence (for me at least) is the number one component to attraction, on any level. My X is 20 years older, a Classical Musician (harp, pipe organ, piano), Religious Scholar and English major with an ability to remember (almost word for word) anything that he has ever read. For example, he read a dictionary from cover to cover. Let’s just say that it is best to be on his team when playing any kind of word game or puzzle. He has read many versions of the Bible and can speak Hebrew and Latin. So I wouldn’t suggest getting in to quoting Bible verses to him. His knowledge and intelligence enveloped me like a warm blanket. It brought me contentment in a profound way. A truly great Man. We were together for 13 years and I still love him dearly. Alcoholism is a challenge to coincide with. I chose to distance myself from it. That decision was a very tough one to make. That was almost 8 years ago. I have not even tried to date or look since.
I agree with almost all the comments
I know that I have had a few INFJ friends in the past, and found that the friendships didn’t last too long. For starters they would always doubt my loyalty, often make excuses for not honouring appointments and always see my chill, cool and emotionless mannerisms as being inattentive, dismissive, just simply being cold and uncaring, albeit that wasn’t the case at all. For instance this one INFJ friend would constantly ghost me and justify those actions for being inattentive and unappreciative, albeit that wasn’t the case at all. I know I would be the one getting hurt in the end, so a breaking point would reach and I would wind up unfriending this INFJ. -INTP
Chill cool and emotionless.
Found out that I am an INFJ two years ago. Made the Test again and again, but it was always INFJ. Last Year I was diagnosed with ADHD, and later with Autism to. I am 55 Years old. Sure there is a huge overlap with INFJ and Neurodivergent.
So you're saying my Ni claps my Se... Go figure 😂 9:18
I recognize "spiritual awakening" as 12 Step language now that I'm attending Al-Anon (for family members of alcholics). The term made me a bit uncomfortable since I grew up evangelical, which emphathized the awakening of "accepting Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior." That never sat well with me because of all the contradictory beliefs. When I requested clarification for my own peace of mind, I was either shamed or met with cold silence. I always felt terrible when I was in affect intimidating people, including ministers even as a small child, and it took many years of therapy to see the truth. Now I'm finding healthier community is this larger AlAnon group meeting at a hospital, which works for me whereas the smaller ones meeting at churches did not. Not to say that any group is however "the answer." The answer, or all the answers really, from the big questions to how I want my coffee, all lie within and it feels good to be tapping into this. My current focus with the help of 12 step language is to use my higher power to remove faults of character which I'm sensing in my lower abs. I'm learning to breath down there where my wisdom lies and that is helping me tap into its wisdom. One thing I like about 12 step is how they use the past tense in "having had a spiritual awakening," we bring our awareness to others in our daily life best through actions than words. That honors that as INFJs we already know, we've already arrived, we just need to quiet ourselves enough to listen and to be present. I had to leave a church and Christianity I found toxic, but accept that truth can be found in its teachings, along with other wisdom traditions. I accept that just for me, "Seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you" means something along the lines of "Listen to the wisdom your higher power has given you shrouded in mystery but clear as day inside of you to discern what is right happening immediately in front of you. It will open up your life and its gifts and opportunities, all just one day at a time, because this divine friend brings you from point a to b with only meandering lines, and all shall be well."
Infj door slam They get nailed super glued and welded shut lol 😂
This is all so true, especially number two. Not many can last long enough to even be best friends. So my besties who are still with me until now are very rare people and I am grateful to have them.
My best friend of almost 15 years and I have been distant for months. One of the things I’ve realized about our connection is that it’s purely emotional and based on me being the hero and them forcing me out of the house. Otherwise, there hasn’t been much in terms of intellectual intimacy as of late and they seem to have no true interest in improving their situation. This causes me discomfort that I have spoken up about, but my words fall on deaf ears. My “solution” has been distance. Either you catch on or it was meant to be that we grow apart at this point. I’m not much interested in forcing connections.
YES
This is pretty accurate, for the most part. I am an INFJ. At times it can be a taxing and overwhelming existence. Starting when I was young. Being around people is a quick drain of energy, patience and tolerance. There is a lot of disappointment that comes along with being an INFJ. Unfortunately, perfection is hard standard to live up to. Especially when bombarded with white noise. From every direction.
It's hard to remain friends with us because we're perfectionistic...we're choosy, we don't let just anyone into our circles. INFJs would rather be alone than surrounded with the wrong people...
Facts
Even as a young child, I chose to be alone, rather than make friends with all the immature and selfish children at school. I was 6 years old, and had already decided I preferred having an intelligent conversation with an adult, rather than hanging out with kids who fight over toys 😂
This is me 100 %! 🎯
Find out fast who values truth and seeks it primarily.
I guess I was lucky ( it didn’t feel that way at the time) I had a very toxic friendship in middle school. I learned at an early age to recognize and keep these people at arms length. I do have three besties and we’ve been friends for thirty years. I am 53 and have had to work on letting go of my judgements and personal views with my close friends and family. You have to choose to hold space for those in your inner circle. You don’t have to do it for everyone, but if you value a friendship you need to hold space without judgment or trying to change the person. Advice from a seasoned INFJ
That holding space is essentially like accepting a family member for who they are, without necessarily approving whatever it is that you find objectionable (i.e., not lowering your standards, but finding a no-judgment or no-opinion zone)-you just think of them as SOUL FAMILY, which they are.
When I was going through some tough times with my family, I binge watched a bunch of INFJ videos to reconnect with the pieces of myself that my family hates me for. It’s helped me find self acceptance and to rid myself of coping behaviors that weren’t healthy for me. I initially adopted the behaviors because of the things that were said and done to me. There’s no more people-pleasing (which I realize now that being that way wasn’t good for me or the other person). I hate conflict, so I think that was the primary driver behind the people-pleasing. I also feel everything the other person feels, and preferred to feel happy than feeling disappointed (or any other tough emotion when others are upset with me). I’m getting better at allowing the disappointment and other emotions to be there without me trying to “fix” it. It’s ok if I am the perceived cause of the emotion. Also, I have gotten better at voicing my boundaries. When people don’t honor the boundaries I set, I don’t waste anyone’s time. I’ve always kind of been that way, but without the voicing part. I’m getting better at that, no matter how it makes the other person feel.
These videos make me feel normal. 🎉
Exactly how I am brother
I do yes, and for these reasons. This has been the one constant place for INFJ accuracy I've found. Thank you for that.
❤💯
I have one best friend that has lasted over 2 decades. I think she's an infj as well cause she understands me😂
Well that wouldn’t mean she’s an infj but she could be entp and if introverted intj or intp infp all these types understand infj pretty well
Hey PSYCH-Os! 👋 *So, do you think people find it difficult to remain friends with you as an INFJ?* Comment down below 👇
TY for this content.The INFJ I know wouldnt share her struggles,they seem to isolate themselves from others and it hurts not knowing how much they're hurting.I find that alienating and a ppont of stress bc as an INTP I relate to many of thier strugles...they do not let you help them.
Not at all. I am the instigator of events. (As long as I have an SE backup and place to escape.) Most of my friends are from decades ago, but they tend to be scientists so they welcome heartfelt debates and maintaining connections. New friends are also of the same types. I consider it an investment to stay in contact with old friends whether remotely or in person. I do one-on-one weekly in-person visits with different individuals 9 months of the year. (I know I need to hibernate during the Winter, but folks usually have family events then any way.) I regularly touch base via email (or less often) phone. I try to do a larger event each year, but it really is about every other year. Still, my SE friends are often impressed at how I keep everyone together. It is an investment. Especially so as I grow older (61) and could be so isolated personally and professionally if I didn't recognize the value of the investment. I want to stay vibrant and involved in social life...well maybe just going out to eat. And I want to work until 72 then consult after that. Tough to do if you are isolated. I am the proverbial cat lady with 5 cats and 1 small dog, but I recognize the need to maintain long-standing friendships. This deliberate effort started after a divorce from someone who didn't want me to have friends, and I consider it a lesson well learned.
@@bootlegapplesI have those exact same problems with INFJ’s. I thought I was the outlier INTP here.
@@sylviaowega3839 I'm seeing an INTP now and she had *exactly* the same issue..both of us coming out of failed INFJ pairings.We loved them but that distance of the heart,not sharing thier hurt w us,the crumbs we got for communication.Again,I had a deep connection,she is a wonderful woman and we're friends for life but closing me.off to her pain kept me worried about her.
There’s a difference between boundaries and walls.
INFJ here. I was born this way. I was like this *before* I was born. I have childhood trauma, a lot of it, but I was already who I am. Here's a comment I made on a Frank James poll, asking if people are born good, bad, or neutral: It depends on the person, though mostly good. It also depends on how you define in. In the cosmic sense, we are all good because we are all where we are meant to be, and playing the role we're meant to play. "Bad" people might be doing something bad to help you, to teach you a lesson that you were meant to learn. Maybe they're sacrificing their own spirituality to play the baddie in this life time so that others may grow and evolve from their interactions. Maybe those "bad" people will be "good" in their next life. We only judge them when we're here in the thick of it. Some of us are born good because we incarnated here from higher realms of existence to make this world a better place, by spreading love and light wherever we go, uplifting the consciousness of those around us, and teaching them a better way to live. That's what I do. I was born with my morals, beliefs, and principles already ingrained in my soul. I didn't learn this way of being from anyone on this physical plane.
We set boundaries.
Boundaries or walls? 😅
@@obidavekenobe A walls come after boundaries are crossed. Nothing is in a vacuum. You can set up boundaries, if the cross them you reinforce those boundaries, when they still don't learn.. walls. Its not a game I would loose due to being all to aware of them. The conscientiousness the INFJ has means they respect boundaries sometimes to their own detriment of not being symbiotic with others, especially those which incorporate some level of abuse within their relationships. No trauma bonding thank you.
@@user-xg2pd3ek9u i see a pattern emerging among the INFJs. Defensiveness and guarded. Likely from trauma.
@@obidavekenobe I cant argue against the trauma. It happened.. in my case, raised by single parent, had to stay one step ahead of them, their feelings / mood. Made me an anticipator, constantly watching all the details. Detail oriented. So add that to your data.
Love helping you stand on your Own 2 Feet. Don't expect us to hang around after that. There is no more Need. But don't be Needy without trying to Stand on your Own 2 Feet. We will leave so fast you''ll Wonder if we were ever there.
👌