📚Pre-order my book to get an exclusive ticket to The Feel-Good Productivity Annual Planning Workshop Website: www.feelgoodproductivity.com/? Amazon: go.feelgoodproductivity.com/alienorhunter

@JourneywithCoffeeCC

8 ай бұрын

Which email to share the proof of purchase. Thanks

@user-gy8fh3jb1v

8 ай бұрын

Conference in speaking is the true way to learn English. Shy person couldn't learn anything in future ❤

@juliereeves5625

7 ай бұрын

I ordered in July from Amazon but I don't know where to send proof of purchase.

@KIRA-ek3uq

7 ай бұрын

@@juliereeves5625same here i donno where to send the receipt

@martinaagostinelli6495

6 ай бұрын

​@clement2148

The ONE THING I took away from this podcast - is that being confident is an instantaneous choice, made over and over again. As easy as flipping a switch - that's it. You already have everything else it takes - just throw yourself at it lol.

@f4llenstarr

7 ай бұрын

How can we do that?

@AmanSharma-sn8js

7 ай бұрын

@@f4llenstarr being introverted & "shy" myself - I have always felt that - Whenever I am overthinking, "should I say something or do something in a particular way or not - should I make this call or not - should I go ask for a raise or not - should I ask that friend out or not" - in all such states my brain always knows its overthinking, I always have this gut feeling that I am overthinking. I still choose to continue. So for me, in this state its a matter of choice - either I can stay silent and continue thinking - fighting my imaginary dragons - or I can just say eff it and say whatever I was gonna say anyway. So if I make the second choice - That. Is the choice to be confident in that particular moment. Just rinse and repeat this enough times and - voila, I am now a confident person.

@f4llenstarr

7 ай бұрын

So kinda just trusting yourself, having that self confidence in how you move forward is the right way ? self belief @@AmanSharma-sn8js

@tdreamgmail

6 ай бұрын

Did you miss the part where she was in therapy for years?

@DX-d

6 ай бұрын

🤣🤣🤣🤣 absolute delusions. You can’t become confident no matter how much you listen/read about it, that’s completely absurd. Confidence comes from a basis in knowledge, skill, appearance, positive attributes etc.

24:58 "Life is a lot more fluid, there's no right, there's no wrong, there's no right ways to be, and so.. it give me a lot more empathy for my friends and family with the ways they express themselves, the ways they are struggling, that made me less rigid and that probably made me more able to speak with people, and curious about other." That's really good.

@Leaf9688

6 ай бұрын

Your ig

Shyness is something that comes with you, social anxiety is something that happens to you. The first is about not being able to trust yourself enough, the second is about not being able to trust people after the devastating experiences you have had.

this was the best podcast episode I've ever listened to. Of all podcasts. Aliénor is a gem

Why does the thumbnail say "you can learn charisma"? It should be something about "be better at public speaking", "overcome shyness", "gain confidence".

@cinthiaruiz3291

6 ай бұрын

Agreed

@oliviachronister7768

6 ай бұрын

It’s probably based off of research that shows people are more likely to click on something with the word charisma

@angellover02171

2 ай бұрын

How is that different?

I am 8 mins into the podcast & Aliénor immediately comes out like a friend who knows me deeply. THAT - made me lower my "shy" walls and got me excited to see what she has to teach :)

What an amazing podcast! I was blown away by how relatable and open Aliénori is. Ali, your podcasting style is so natural and effortless. Keep up the great work and continue bringing on fascinating guests like this.

I loved this podcast episode, which is one of my favourites. I relate so much with Aliénor and her experience of feeling shy. I also related to being told by teachers that I'm too quiet and smart but don't ask questions or engage compared to other students. I learned so many great tips and mindset shifts from this video. Thank you Ali and Aliénor for this

32:58 there is something so lovely and calming about the little clink of a teacup in this moment and and mandarin skin on the desk. I feel like it really brings the tone together and feels so much more relatable and relaxed just by those small details whether intentional or not. I love that.

@lalithasarmar6670

7 ай бұрын

Wow.. thank you for pointing out the glimmer

2023 was the first year where anyone ever described me, to my face, as a confident person. The first time it happened I was quite shocked, I simply had never thought of myself as a confident person. Rather, I thought of myself as insecure. It was pretty weird but also rewarding to hear! Looking forward to improving that more in 2024, this time consciously!

I actually appreciate people who don't show too much conviction until they are really sure. Not having conviction in the thing that they are not sure of does not mean not having conviction in themselves or not having conviction in general

I really appreciate people with self awareness like Alienor. its so refreshing.

I feel so seen. This is incredible. I have also noticed as a naturally shy person that when I don't speak for myself, other "extroverts" will, and that's not always a good thing! Thank you for this.

@hs1865

5 ай бұрын

I feel exactly the same 😢😢😢

It's amazing how she is doing a podcast with him after she has watched so many of his videos and has been one of his fans for so long!

I think people are not practically shy if they are listener or would prefer to be quiet in some case, being introvert is in reality it can make the life of these kinds of people so challenging. Everyone does love to talk loudly, freely. I am thinking about life without talking freely, give your idea to others, communicating in the birthday party or wedding, what would have happened to these kinds of people. Absolutely, if this is not anxiety, it will have bring out anxiety gradually. That's true that many people fear of speech in front of audiences, no matter how many audiences are, it is hard to do that, it is too much pressure, but speaking with others, it might not have been a big deal. Thank you so much for sharing this amazing experience.

This was a great podcast. Learned so much and the discussions were so relatable and honest and real. Thank you so much!

Love your idea of doing this with a person with this history. You can tell how hard she's struggling and it's absolutely amazing how far she's come. From my point of view, though, it's hard to connect her to unshakeable confidence, since she obviously hasn't gotten there yet herself. More along the lines of - how to overcome shyness. I still find the video interesting, even if expectations are somewhat dampened

i looooove this podcast. Exactly what I needed, thank you!

This is the first podcast of yours I sat for two hours listening. Thank you! It was incredible

Very useful practical tips. Loved this episode!

I feel this story with eriting that email soooo goood!! Like feeling that something i want from another person might be too pushy, too demanding. Feel that truly. Thanks for the story.

that pause in 1:45:23 was..* chefs kiss* learned a lot from this podcast thank you to both!

Aliénor, your expression of your early history is incredibly relatable, and your way through it is marvelous. My past self would have felt less outcast and more hopeful on hearing this. My current self is reminded to treat myself and others with grace. Today I learned that we all could use a little more positive feedback. Thank you, too, for the strategies for building confidence.

This is great! Thank you for sharing

I love the distancing method. So good! My therapist gave it to me

What a great storyteller!

0k i swear this podcast just healed me! thankyuuuuuuuuu

Great talk. Appreciate her and you both.

Woman looks like a gaming character

Underrated podcast episode - such tactical insights and tips

Finally! This exactly speaks to what I've gone through most of my early years - was so difficult to explain to other people. Well now I'm past it. 😊

What helped me was a combination of the quote "You probably wouldn’t worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they do!"- Olin Miller and the section in Groundhog Day where Bill Murray basically says if nothing I do matters then I can do what I want. In other words, if people are indifferent and nothing I do really affects them because they are completely indifferent to me then I can just be my true and authentic self around them because they are completely indifferent to who I am and what I do. Also, if the average person has 40,000-60,000 thoughts a day, and those thoughts are about what they're having for dinner or what their kids are doing then things like me bumping into a lamppost, dropping a water melon in a shop, publishing a novel few people read or even writing a random post to a KZread video, will hardly register in their mind. I mean, are you really going to remember what I write here? I doubt it.

Wow thank you for this. My whole life people have told me i am shy but i dont feel shy. The way you pointed out how ‘shyness’ is a super power because you enhance your listening skills and pick-up on people’s subtle needs : i resonate with that so much. Thank you for making me feel better about myself for being an observer. I love talking to people but i do prefer to listen a lot of the time. Its so annoying that people make it out like these behaviors mean youre not comfortable with yourself: not always true. Again, thank you

It is the first podcast I listened to almost totally They discuss very well on the topic how to speak confidently They speak many ways to improve, the one point is vivid in my mind The point is almost all people think that I am speaking correctly or not,that is a problem ,you get scared so just start a conversation and don't think a lot more about it I think , I am also in the same situation as I want to change that in my personal life Podcast so many points Regards with how to improve confidence and public speaking I hope to watch this podcast while you struggle with confidence

00:28 🗣 Confidence in speaking can be learned and isn't solely innate. 01:23 📚 Pre-orders for a book on productivity are available, offering access to an exclusive event for those who pre-order. 02:30 🗨 Overcoming social anxiety involved addressing deep-seated beliefs and rules, challenging self-imposed limitations. 04:23 🤔 Shyness and social anxiety can differ semantically; shy being more relatable, anxiety carrying a medical connotation. 06:26 🌟 Shyness isn't inherently negative; it provides a unique perspective and observation skills. 08:45 🤝 Shyness and extroversion both have underlying beliefs influencing communication styles. 11:46 ⚠ Shyness becomes problematic when it significantly impedes daily life and interactions. 13:41 🔄 Both shyness and extreme extroversion might stem from underlying insecurities or beliefs. 16:12 🚀 Personal transformation from extreme shyness to coaching involved challenging self-imposed rules and seeking coaching. 18:14 🧠 Therapeutic strategies included challenging and evaluating evidence for self-limiting beliefs. 19:47 🔍 Use distancing statements to reduce the impact of negative thoughts by adding phrases like "I'm thinking that" or "I'm noticing that" before them. 21:51 🎭 Putting distance between your thoughts and beliefs can help you see them objectively rather than as absolute truths. 22:19 📝 Writing down your beliefs can reveal their impact and help challenge them more effectively. 23:11 ⏰ Confidence takes time and effort to develop, often shifting between different areas of your life. 24:33 🌍 Breaking down limiting beliefs can lead to increased empathy and a more flexible worldview. 26:53 🪜 Confidence doesn't mean feeling nothing; it's about accepting and managing the feelings that come with speaking situations. 37:16 🚀 Engaging in speaking exercises and receiving positive feedback can transform self-perception and confidence. 38:40 🤔 Recognizing and embracing personal strengths uncovered through feedback can shift self-perception positively. 39:08 🗣 Speaking games can enhance confidence by making speaking enjoyable while emphasizing the need for practice and feedback loops. 40:03 🗨 Trust the first thought that comes to mind when speaking rather than overthinking, a habit that often hampers conversation flow. 41:25 🧠 Live situations might access intelligence differently than scripted scenarios, allowing for more confident and free expression. 43:56 💬 Building confidence in speaking shouldn't focus solely on external skills but also challenge internal beliefs about self-worth. 45:21 🚫 The problem isn't inability butthe belief of being a bad speaker, hindering the expression of one's capabilities. 47:58 🎓 External feedback can be pivotal in realizing the need to improve confidence in speaking, prompting actions for self-improvement. 51:32 🔀 Confidence isn't solely acquired over time; it can be chosen in the moment, altering perceptions of oneself and others. 54:08 🤔 Understanding that internal feelings may not match external perceptions can shift how confidence is projected and perceived. 56:16 💡 Conviction in speech, even if uncertain, often translates as confidence, influencing how others perceive and respond to information shared. 59:32 🎙 Conviction in speech isn't about knowing everything; it's about believing in what you say. Most people fall short on the scale of conviction in communication. 01:00:55 🗣 Mistakes in speaking can trip beginners up if they apologize or lose momentum. Recovering quickly from errors is a mark of experienced speakers. 01:07:06 📑 The "One Thing" concept: Before a presentation, identify the one message you want your audience to remember. Build your content around this central idea for clarity and impact. 01:11:49 🕒 Use the "Accordion Method" in speech prep: Start with a longer time, then gradually reduce it. This refines your message to focus on the most important elements. 01:13:51 💡 Recovering from a speaking mistake involves strategies like upping energy, taking a breath, or using "summary prompts" to redirect focus back to your message. 01:17:08 🔇 Silence in speaking has a dual role: externally, it demonstrates confidence, and internally, it allows speakers to recalibrate their thoughts and direction. 01:19:50 🗣 Pausing longer than feels necessary in practice helps your delivery seem more natural and less rushed to your audience. 01:21:02 💭 Mindset often lags behind speaking skill-bridging this gap is crucial for confidence in public speaking. 01:21:59 💡 Overcoming self-doubt involves consciously projecting confidence and authority, even if it feels exaggerated. 01:24:18 🌟 Pushing past comfort zones can start with simply committing to asking a question or initiating a conversation. 01:29:54 🤔 Most people share feelings of inadequacy; understanding this helps navigate social situations with less pressure. 01:32:14 📈 To boost self-esteem, start small and celebrate incremental progress rather than aiming for drastic changes. 01:36:58 🗨 Practice speaking in situations that challenge you, preferably with feedback, to improve your public speaking skills. 01:38:51 😄 Recognize the fun and opportunities that come from overcoming fears-public speaking can positively impact various aspects of life. 01:40:55 🎮 Games like "Rapid Fire Autocomplete" and "Blindfolded Slideshow" are available for free on Ultraspeaking.com, aiding in boosting confidence and communication skills. 01:41:10 🎭 Using games like these during learning sessions, like the "KZreadr Academy," helps with confidence building and public speaking exercises. 01:42:04 🗣 The "Podcast Game" involves swapping names on the screen while continuing each other's sentences to enhance listening skills and staying in the moment during conversation. 01:43:40 🤔 Reflecting on life choices in a scenario where money isn't a factor can help prioritize what truly matters beyond financial concerns. 01:44:34 🎭 "Blindfolded Slideshow" helps improve impromptu speaking skills by presenting random slides that you have to incorporate into your speech in the moment. 01:45:59 🌟 The "Survival Mode" of "Triple Step" involves rapid-fire speaking where the time for response decreases, helping to improve speaking speed and clarity under pressure. 01:48:03 🧠 Self-expression games like these foster creative thinking, adaptability, and the ability to speak confidently on various topics. 01:51:21 🌟 Encouragement to focus on strengths rather than dwelling solely on weaknesses, suggesting asking friends for strengths and displaying them as a reminder.

@jennyngocle5957

8 ай бұрын

Incredible

@brolysujay

8 ай бұрын

God will reward you for this massive help. Hearing her yapp is really irritating.

@MarkRasmussen24

7 ай бұрын

amazing summary! what AI tool do you use to get this? thanks so much!

@nihal786

6 ай бұрын

Oh mahn ❤

@hilderoseevans5142

6 ай бұрын

Thank you !

Shyness and introversion are not the same thing. Shy people can be extroverted. I was shy and introverted but I learned public speaking and charisma for work. I am still an introverted person.

Best deep dive discussion yet. I really relate to this topic. I'm glad I'm not alone. Thank you Ali and Alienor. I'll check out Ultraspeaking and see where my journey leads from there

I watched this full podcast till end for the very first time it's really helpful for me to improve my skills as well and really it can be life changing it can giv me more oppourtunities in my career as well as making good friends sheis just guiing as a friend and the one who passed through this sitution understand more better than any one else.More what i came to know about is peoples perspective about you like it happend with everyone nooneis perfect

Inspiring 💖

She did great and I could have listened for longer😊

Where has Aliénor Hunter been hiding? And why am I just now finding her? Upon watching the new video UNlocking your potential, I was directed to this and am so glad I was! Had to share this with my hubs! Really enjoyed the connection made with the Barbie movie lol. I hope she shares more like this in the future!

I grew up very social and because later in life either I changed, or society charged, people began to treat me with disdain, annoyance, or disgust so I stopped going out. Even going to the grocery store was hard. I do not think I ever had a fear of speaking, but i did have a strong fear of having to sit through judgement. Anyway, I ended up working at a hotel where I was forced to meet 40 plus people a day (at least), and by the end of that job (2 years) I was almost back to my original self. What had helped wasn’t really the practice of speaking, as much as realizing their judgement isn’t so bad and talking with them mostly resulted in good moments. Shy people are probably more sensitive than outgoing people.

It's sad that western culture is so fixated on extroversion. Unless there is an actual psychological problem as the speaker seemed to have, most people who identify as shy are introverts who just prefer their own company. I have met some quiet people who had tremendous charisma and more importantly, depth. To be honest, I find most extroverts entertaining at first but they tend to be superficial and self involved. In Asian culture, there is more of a balance where the more senior or knowledgeable one is, the less there is a need to be loud and noisy.

@BeastTitan213

7 ай бұрын

Agree

@migrantmel8919

6 ай бұрын

I completely agree that in western culture we value extroversion, but I think you're mixing up introversion and shyness. Looking up the definition: "Shyness involves fear of negative evaluation", which is completely different from introversion, which is more about wanting to be alone. Also I would say those are stereotypes of extroversion/introversion that you've mentioned. Why does an extrovert have to be loud/noisy? Why does an introvert have to be quiet? I've met some very extroverted people who are not at all loud/noisy, and I've met some introverted people who love to scream and sing and dance. You could get your energy alone and not be shy at all. You could get your energy from being around others and still not be the center of attention or the "entertainer".

Thank you Alienor

سفندي ده الي شمالك ياعلي 😂😂 great podcast i watched on your chanel i'm following you from Egypt

Hey my brother take my respect love from Bangladesh 🇧🇩❤️

@rabindranathhansda6473

8 ай бұрын

আরে কেমন আছো 👋

For me, social anxiety means that I think the majority of people want to take advantage of me and are seeking to disrespect me. I do not see kindness in other people automatically. I'm always on guard waiting to be attacked and I am always very surprised when someone is kind to me without their being strings attached.

this is really helpful!

I’m crying watching this 😢…feels like I’m seeing myself in Alienor

I LOVE her❤! she looks charming and this episode really help me, it’s related .

*Ask yourself question n shi* This video is extremely valuable

Speaking in a emotional intelligent manner is such a important character trait in life. Thanks Ali and Aliénor!

@f4llenstarr

7 ай бұрын

How can we do that?

I think shyness and social anxiety it's just the person being afraid of rejection from ppl around ,and when u're shy to the point u can't live ur life like a normal person is a problem u need to work on it and everyone can

Love from India 🇮🇳

Hey, that our coach amazing Alienor❤

I love her ❤️

As a public speaking coach myself - I think this could have been useful but some fundamentals weren’t covered & I found myself disagreeing with a few things. Would love to one day jump on the podcast 🤞

@BeastTitan213

7 ай бұрын

Go for it mate the world is yours ✌️

@TheMatchReview

6 ай бұрын

Any free online resources you can recommend to get started with public speaking?

I see the shy in you and how everything else is still an explicit decision :3

I love British accent 🥰♥️

I think what she could be is a highly sensitive person (hsp) which counts for 20% of people. If so the shyness comes from being a hsp and the benefits mentioned like noticing people's body language more than most come from this too and not directly from the shyness which imo as being someone who was shy for most of my childhood I would say there's nothing really great about it

🎉 Thank you 🎉 Have a wonderful day 🎉 Sun 🎉 Peace 🎉

Highly sensitive person! ✨

Would love to buy the book but money wooh

Paramount tip: Change your mindset, the "inside", and once that's done, change the strategies that you use to boost your confidence when speaking; the "outside". The inside-out approach is the foundation.

Wow, listening to her describing her anxiety breaks my 💔.

Oh my God , i am exactly her . I can’t accept coffee or tee from anybody , avoid talking with receptionist in doctors office, i contact my landlord for my water boiler after i spend months having cold shower and i got ill.

She's just lovely. 🤩

What course are they talking about ? Can anyone help with a link or something

Ali - I’ve preordered your book but why do you keep saying “I know people don’t like preordering books” in your promo message? Psychologically although I preordered your book i keep realizing my thoughts going to “oh I don’t like preordering books”…. Just something I’ve noticed!

people often conflate introversion and social anxiety. If you’re ‘shy’ in the sense that you’re reserved and enjoy your own company that’s fine but if you want to interact with people and are unable to do so then that’s really problematic

I don’t think it’s shyness afraid to ask for a duvet in that situation. I can relate I am too afraid to call or ask something or push boundaries with people as I am anxious that person may get angry, shout at me or they say I am not polite or something will go wrong. And it is based on real situations in my life.

It 's the Right Time ❤️ it's a problem i work to solve it ❤️

What's the name of the intro song?

Has Alienor written a book?

her name is amazing

“Back in the days when we used to live in tribes…in the jungle “ lost me there sorry 😂😂

"The problem isn't the problem. The problem is your solution for the problem."

Yesss, click on this because charisma sounds interesting but public speaking is way more interesting/useful

Hello 🎉

Ali and Aliénor hadn't heard of or seen The Mask Me: I'm noticing that I'm feeling old 😅

1:29:00

1:50:26 the English listening test at school

Interesting. Thanks for being open and sharing your way. Listening the vocal fry the whole time is very disturbing. Voice is part of charisma.

For a Second I thought this was the Ginger from the YT shorts 😂

what about shy vs quiet?

I seriously thought she was that man that is trying to reverse aging, and he actually succeeded

yes, that is true for me, when i realized that this shyness is hindering your life, i have to do something, and started doing something about it

i don't get it as much, difference between self talk and thinking. u said speak before u think and later on that self talk is important, i have that confusion in real life and actually my thoughts delay and slutter my speaking i trying to balance that out

wow! she is the prettiest girl in the world!

her voice is sooo funnyyyy :)))))

Sounds like this magician was Mystery 😅

You can learn Rizz 😮

❤

3:35 😲Who is this!? Who is this second person in her that's speaking to us!???

Dear lord those eyes u have one of the most beautiful eyes i see in my entire life 💗💖

unfortanaly i can only understard a few wors, she speak very fast, souuns a pretty interesting

Does audible count as a preorder?

How come her contact info isn’t included in here?

Being afraid to talk anyone who isn't a close family member or friend is not "shyness". That is a severe instance of generalized anxiety disorder at minimum. Especially when she says that her anxiety was because she had a vague sense of fear that something bad was going to happen to her for no reason all of the time. That is a classic symptom of ptsd and demands professional treatment, not self-help videos. Can we please stop conflating serious anxiety disorders with being "quiet" or "shy"? I thought we were done doing that years ago.

@bradybythesea

8 ай бұрын

I don’t know man, you ever notice how some people symptoms get waaay worse once they’re diagnosed? I think looking at it from her perspective is actually a hell a lot better than getting thrown straight on the pharmaceutical for quite a lot of people. Not to mention the distinct lack of access to MH services in the UK so healthy alternative and natural ways of dealing with these things should be welcomed. She clearly didn’t need to have all the stuff you talk about to get herself over her shyness and make a success of herself… just saying😊

@makingawesome8730

8 ай бұрын

I mean, she's better now so sharing how she overcame it is useful. Not all therapists are good and not everyone can or will go see one.

@AkA-sw7rl

8 ай бұрын

@@bradybytheseagreat thought, 💭 while I very much agree to what the person above states that her state of mind back then can be hardly defined as „shyness“ I do think you absolutely are on to something with your point of view!!

@TheScrewdriver09

8 ай бұрын

PTSD ? You are speaking with the authority of a Shrink but the very fact that you said what you said must mean you’re not a Shrink, cos no one who would’ve studied Psychology (seriously at least )would draw such a myopic Conclusion about fear of speaking to strangers. If you are, you must be the kind that needs therapy first. 😂

@Danielbignuts

8 ай бұрын

@@bradybythesea I don’t think the symptoms get worse, I think a diagnosis legitimises how people really feel on the inside and they feel like they don’t have to hide anything and can be more true to themselves