Men: a woman moves on fast because she never loved you the way you loved her. A woman 'loves' a man for making her feel loved. ie by what you can Do & Provide for her. Once she finds better or is bored then You nolonger make her feel loved about herself. This makes her very angry with you as she had more expectations in her percieved future that you have not lived up to. This is why you can be discarded. Once you understand women you will realise there is nothing to love about them.

@jackthere

8 ай бұрын

That's a bit harsh, no?

@JeanFrancoisDesrosiers

3 ай бұрын

​@@jackthereno

I read something once that really resonated with me. No woman is truly single as they’re exiting a relationship…

@t-pain3343

8 ай бұрын

Mine monkeybranched

@moeiq2

5 ай бұрын

​

What a bitter pill to swallow. Rosanna left me 35 years ago and moved on. Quite easily it seems. For me the pain has never ended. It goes into remission. However, every so often it comes back and with a vengeance. Thanks for you helpful videos.

After 12 years and she just jumped ship and didn't miss a beat. Hell she left in September and took him to all the holiday get togethers and no one said anything. They all acted like nothing happened.

@ALEEtile

Жыл бұрын

I am currently going through the exact same thing you went through. 12 years as well, through the holidays, we’re still married but separated. She’s posting all about her new love all over social media acting like nothing happened.

@tskrome92

2 ай бұрын

😢 wow fellas! A year later and same over here! 12 years and 3 kids together and the excuse is she’s tired and worn out. 🙄

You are really good at explaining all this much love , by far the hardest thing I have been through in my life so far.. 💔

Everything you said in this video is exactly what we went through in our marriage and divorce and im finally realizing its absolutely true.

So based on your paradigm, there is no accountability for the grenading of a family. It’s not her fault, it’s not your fault. It’s nobody’s fault. Just families destroyed. Kids separated from parents. Kids exposed to other new partners. No biggie. Just as easy as moving on.

@rasidsaranovic7921

10 ай бұрын

Yeah I don't subscribe to this way of thinking it's nobody's fault. So if one party fails to communicate well it's not their fault, it's the upbringing... I wonder if it would be true for men too, due to their "upbringing"... Sounds like loads of bs to me.

@kinnish5267

4 ай бұрын

Total bullshit. A friend of mine left her husband who begged her to come back. Instead she started partying after work and banged two guys. 100% her fault. Six months later she tried to get back with her husband but he found someone else. Karma

She was cheating behind my back. My wife never griefed and was only out for herself. She stole all our money and lied to her family about me.

This is all sugar-coat bullshit... My ex never liked me, never cared abt me, she just used me to accomplish her own projects, and after she accomplished she kicked my ass, and just move on and she's never gave a shit about me!!

@johnrencheck2283

Жыл бұрын

Its funny how she doesnt respond to men telling the real truth

12:51 "This is about her, and the way she thinks about herself. She is living in a fantasy world of black/white, good/evil. As long as she lives, there if she wants to see herself as "good" she has to see you as evil. It actually tells us absolutely nothing at all about how she felt about you or the marriage...." Sounds like a description of a person with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). In which case it tells us that she has never loved you.....that she is, in fact, incapable of love. I do agree that it makes no difference. A divorce is final. One should not go back to a divorced spouse.....work on healing and move on.

This video has made me feel so much worse. It means that I was loved and I could have done something to show her I loved her so much. I failed and now I'm in so much pain and anguish.

@kinnish5267

4 ай бұрын

You can never be loved by a person focused on their wants, needs etc... She was with you because you filled some needs she had. The moment she no longer has those needs, your relationship is over. That is NOT love, that is mutualism. Love is when both of you become each other's beloved.That means in sickness and in health, for better or worse etc... This attitude of mutualism she'll take into next relationship and it will fail. You should have pity on next boyfriend. Notice that the majority of second marriages fail.

It appears that every man needs to become a psychologist, just to maintain a marriage.

She did exactly this and hid the fact that I took all decisions, but I would always ask her opinion and most of the time if not all I would take her choice. To top It all of I longed for her to help me take decisions so I wouldn't take all of the responsibility on my shoulders. I would ask her often to help with decisions and respect her choices. In the end she told me It was all meant to please me and she was afraid I would leave... This truly broke me.

I will never understand how a person can unilaterally make such a big decision to leave someone without really involving that person she supposedly loved, especially if there are kids involved and they have made a promise to stand by each other through good and bad times. Very selfish!

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach

2 ай бұрын

You're not alone in this point of confusion. I see a lot of men struggle with this for many years. I don't know the details of your marriage at all, but in many, many cases the leaving spouse DID try to involve the other, usually for many years. The problem is that in a lot of relationships men and women don't communicate very well, and when one partner is trying to express the distress they feel the other isn't able to hear or understand what they're saying or asking for.

@cosmodoc

2 ай бұрын

@@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach well, to be able to change things, first I have to be made aware that a divorce is seriously on the cards. I have never considered a divorce as being an option, unless both have seriously tried their best to fix their marriage. This was clearly not the case with us, which is totally irresponsible if children are involved. Of course children can equally suffer when the parents are still married and are fighting in their presence, but this can be avoided and a divorce almost certainly will harm them psychologically.

Seriously woman, you have hit the nail on the head. Where the hell have you been ? IDK how the YT gods worked , but you are spot on.

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach

3 ай бұрын

I'm glad you liked this video, thank you for watching and for commenting. IDK how the YT gods work either... sometimes the algorithm does funny stuff. If you found this one helpful, you might really like my free masterclass. It goes a lot deeper into the step by step process of coming out the other side feeling in control of your life and emotions. You can find it here: resources.rachaelsloancoaching.com/masterclass-register

Thank you so much Rachel .. Just what I needed to hear , spot on !!

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach

2 жыл бұрын

You're welcome, Ian. I'm really glad to hear it helped.

Thank you for this message!! This is exactly what happened and still to this day, 5 years later she still hates me and blames me with made up stories of abuse. I won custody of the children because of her illogical decisions. In return, the hatred and attempts to destroy me financially, professionally, and mentally continues. I will not break but I do have feelings. Truth is, everything went south when her mother died in 2012. Went through all stages of grief till 2017 and left. Again, this helps me so much. Thanks, Mike from NC

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach

2 жыл бұрын

Hi Mike, you're welcome. I'm glad that you found the message in this video helpful. How are you coping with the feelings that come up for you around this? It sounds like you have a good perspective, but I can imagine that the ongoing conflict in that relationship with your children's mother is stressful.

@mikehinson5935

2 жыл бұрын

@@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach ❤️❤️

@Lpmeff

Жыл бұрын

There trash and can’t trust

This video has helped me on so many ways as I move on. Went on a date and this video helped me move on. Recognizing that my health is about my choices and addressing my anger has helped me move on as well. I get to create new identities and discover new understandings of my emotions. Damn right why she left doesn’t matter.

I was diagnosed with stage 3 esophageal cancer in June 2022. Chemotherapy and radiation treatments for several months. In November 2022 went thru major surgery to remove the cancer; very high risk of surgery. In January 2023 the doctors seen spots on my liver. Conducted a biopsy. On February 12, 2023 my “wife” left me. On February 20, I am diagnosed with stage 4 liver cancer & stage 3 lung cancer. I found out she has been cheating on me since October 2022. But I’m realizing she had contact with this low life for over a year. Now I’m going through very intense strong chemotherapy treatments. Everyday I’m battling for my life, every millisecond of everyday. I was a burden to her, a liability to her. She is cheating on me with a older low life piece of crap. She is 36 and he is 50+ years old with 5-6 kids and is living in a house that he is renting from his ex-wife. Icing on the cake. This low life piece of crap knows everything about my daughter. That is disgusting and sickening. Now she is filing for divorce and stripping away my daughter away from me. Completely out of my daughter life. And to replace me with this garage as her father/dad………. I’m dealing with that right now.

@krishchait6106

3 ай бұрын

I feel for you man...stay strong

Very good video. So spot on in my situation 👌 🙌 👏🏻 😌

Well its not her fault not telling me? That's not how a relationship works, i mean, seriously all comes down to communication...sneaking and keeping one of the most important issues behind the back of the husband for over a year? Im sorry but that doesnt make any sense in my head. So i just need to accept this?

How about the thought, I am easily replaced?

The worst thing to me the rejection. We fell out over a group of online friends she got involved with over lockdown. The worst thing is when I did the same thing many years ago and she confronted me I stopped the harmful behaviour straight away. When the shoe was on the other foot she wouldn't do the same thing for me. Things spiralled and here we are after 21 years of marriage down the drain and two heart broken kids .

Why can’t she just come back?! This is just the only question I only have. I’m super cut up with no idea how to carry on.

@DeadCat-42

24 күн бұрын

My wife woke me up at midnight and left , never said why. I waited around for years, kept the wedding dress in my closet etc.. Finally I just moved into a forest and became a hermit for about 9 years. I don't want to hurt my friends so I just took myself out of their lives. This why I won't hurt anyone when I finally end this life I have hated for so long.

I guess resonated with me but I still feel that guilt. We went to couples therapy (never that long and never dived into the real issues) and I went to individual therapy for myself but never really jumped into the issues that were hindering me from connecting in a meaningful way with my STBX. She had told me a number of times what was troubling her over the years but I never delved into it due to my own shame, guilt, and trauma about previous life events. She did try and stayed in an unfulfilled relationship longer than she probably should have. I do take the blame. We never openly and honestly talked about the central issues. Even though I knew the issues I never fully committed to fixing it. Just temporary Band-Aids on a cut that was growing more infected by the day. Then after a little bit it was back to the same-old, same-old. She had enough. Maybe she didn't bring these up because she didn't want me to feel bad. Mostly I think she was done with bringing it up. You make great videos and I appreciate you taking the time to upload them. Most videos for men going through divorce are by men and they have an undercurrent of toxicity in them. Your take is different. Thanks again.

Yea u are right dr Rachel…. After 11 yrs of marriage I’m 36 now , apparently over the years I never controlled my anger and controlling and didn’t change she is leaving me now , just randomly one day out of the blue leavjng me behind lost and confused she moved on so quickly . I have lost all trust in women if such a good girl could have divorced me I tried so hard to change before too apparently it wasn’t enuff

@Mojojo129

Жыл бұрын

I’m in so much regret now that I’m losing my wife over it but it’s too late now

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach

Жыл бұрын

Do you have a support system or a community that is helping you process all of this? It is a lot for anyone to handle on their own. I may have already offered you this in another comment, I apologize if it is redundant. I host a community for separated and divorced men to support one another in first surviving this and then starting to deal with regret and loss so they can move forward. You can find the details here: www.rachaelsloancoaching.com/better-beyond-divorce Hang in there. It may not seem like it right now, but you will eventually come out the other side of this.

My ex moved on quickly because she is a gold digger . She needed her taxes paid . She needs money , despite reaching out to me ! She found a rich guy that for a little sex would give her money and pay for her trips to see him and put her up in fancy hotels. Believe me , she just wants money!

Hi Rachel. I started the process. I am the one who left and went no contact. We broke no contact and hooked up for the best xxx I have ever experienced. Immediately she tried 5:32 to get me to reconcile, but said it would cost me. When I left I had no feelings towards her. Now I am trauma bonded and completely addicted. I can not think of her eventually finding another man! I am racked with anxiety and fear. I am also afraid if her in a way..

Wow, you have described my current situation in this video like it was my story . 21 years and 3 kids later, I wasn't good enough anymore. Thank you, I will be buying your book.

Rachel, Mine wife moved on in her mind and had 2 affairs. One of which was our 22F babysitter. She moved on quickly.

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach

7 ай бұрын

I'm so sorry to hear that. Brutal. How are you doing?

@t-pain3343

7 ай бұрын

@@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach surviving. Life will get better eventually.

Women don't move on quickly... she had another guy already lined up, was already cheating, and then dumped you.

Maybe she loved you maybe she didn’t or maybe she still loves you but she left . So instead of reflecting on that focus on what you feel you did wrong in the marriage and fix those issues and use what you learned for the next relationship. You’ll be happy you did . Trust me 👍🏽

Still, it's hard. But I'll live..

Yes, she never loved you in the way you wanted. She loved the benefit you provided to her life, not you for you.

She said she has been moving on for the last 2 years, back when she said we need to go to counseling but I blew her off and I guess we started our downhill trend. She has become mean and I figure that’s how she is justifying leaving me… I am the bad guy now.. I wished we had talked more…

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach

2 жыл бұрын

Hi Rob, It's hard to know for certain, but you may be right. Often being mean is a way to justify the decision to leave. It can also be a cover for any feelings of shame she may have about the role she's played in the problems between you. It sounds like you're feeling regret and I'm sure many other things. How are you doing?

I can understand if she may have grieved earlier than me and she may have been ready to leave for awhile. But why do her and her new partner move so quick..he moved in with her like right after I left..

This is the best channel on youtube on this matter. Thank you.

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much! I really appreciate your support.

Great video to watch helped me a lot, I miss my ex sadly she has just gone silent she never replied to any messages I sent.

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach

Жыл бұрын

Hi Tony, I'm glad this video helped, and I'm sorry that you've had that experience. It can be hard to move forward when you don't get the opportunity to make yourself fully heard. How are you doing? Do you have some good support for yourself?

@tonyleroux6855

Жыл бұрын

@@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach hello Rachael wow so nice to get a reply thanks. Not much support just trying to understand how she could be so and cut me off after 16 yrs we used to text every day. Wishing I could tell you the whole story. I miss her and hope she may make contact one day.

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach

Жыл бұрын

@Tony Le Roux I understand how confusing it can be, especially after all of those years together. I don't know if you're looking for more consistent or guided support, but if you'd like to discuss working together we can schedule a consultation call. You can tell me the whole story and what you'd like to achieve, and if it sounds like something I could help with I'll tell you how coaching works and we can each decide if we'd like to work together. If you're not looking for more involved support, I certainly understand. There is a program called Good Guys to Great Men with Steve Horsmon that is less coaching and more self-guided within an amazing community of men who have been through similar situations - that might be an option for you to explore as well. If you would like to schedule a time with me you can find my calendar here: www.rachaelsloancoaching.com/contact-8 or you're welcome to email me at rachael@rachaelsloancoaching.com

I just want to say this is honestly really helping me get through this

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach

5 ай бұрын

I'm really glad to hear that, and I'm sorry you're going through it right now. If these videos are helping, check out my free masterclass here: resources.rachaelsloancoaching.com/masterclass-register It goes deeper than I can here on KZread, and will give you more concrete tools.

@TurquoiseFilms

5 ай бұрын

@@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach thank you. I will check this out. Making sense of all this is the hardest part so thank you for this

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach

5 ай бұрын

@@TurquoiseFilms I understand. It's a struggle most of my clients face. The solution is actually counterintuitive. Most people try first to understand her actions... but it's when people slow down and look inward, and do the hard work of deeply understanding their own thoughts, emotions and actions, that hers start to make more sense.

@TurquoiseFilms

5 ай бұрын

@@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach Im hoping to get there. To be honest I really do know she feels betrayed and hurt. It still is so hard for me to comprehend how much she lashes out and how cruel she can be...even though I'm starting to understand how she feels even if I don't agree with it. I'm working on myself now to be a better man. Saying that to her got her very angry saying 'oh NOW you want to be better??' it was never my intention this way. I was always trying but I guess this situation has caused me to try harder, motivated by more desperation I suppose

Thanks Rachel. These videos are helpful. One thing I have problems with, and please pushback if you think I'm wrong or anyone else...... When it comes to blaming, look we both made plenty of mistakes. I might have made a lot more than her even, not sure. For years I've come up with all kinds of initiatives to improve the relationship though. Let's read this book and do the things it suggests, take a course, go to counseling together, do stuff for each other to make the other person feel loved whether we feel like it now or not, etc. Everything was met with a great deal of resistance and most things she flat out rejected completely. Telling someone you want to get divorced is obviously the ultimate rejection of any commitment to the relationship but for years already there seem to be all these moments of lack of commitment. I'm not angry at the hurtful things she has said or done, I have said and done hurtful things myself. I'm angry at her for not being fully committed in learning and changing what needs to be learned and changed to have flipped this around. If she she would have been as passionate about making us work as she is with her hobby, I think we would have done great by now.

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach

11 ай бұрын

You're welcome. I'm glad the videos are helpful. I'm sorry to hear that your wife was so lackluster in working on the relationship. You may be right, that if she had been as willing to work as you were, things may have been different. In fact, you probably are. When two people commit to working together and both are willing to be humble and grow, there are few problems they can't overcome. But she wasn't willing or able to work on it, or on herself. I don't think you're wrong to be angry at her. In fact, I think anger is often an important part of the process of grieving and healing. I would encourage you to tune into the anger and learn from it- what is it telling you about yourself? It is easy to stay on the surface of the anger and be mad at HER. But that's not really what anger is about. Anger is the internal voice that says, "I deserve better. I deserve more. I'm worth fighting for." She didn't want to work on it... and you deserve a partner who does. Someone who is as willing to reflect, learn and grow as you are. It is rare for couples to stay together when one definitely wants children and the other doesn't, or when one feels the need to travel the world while the other never wants to leave their home town... and yet often couples will stay together for decades even though one is 100% committed to healing, learning and growing and the other one is really just interested in gardening. I'm really sorry that you're going through this. I hope you can embrace your anger in a healthy way as you unpack the marriage and start to move forward. You deserve love and commitment at the same level you give it. She is not the person who can give you that. After sharing so much time together, that may be difficult to accept... that's what anger is for :) It can help you find your way to acceptance.

@christiaan4music

11 ай бұрын

@@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach Thank you. Not really in the mindset of another relationship. Especially with two young kids I think that would make their life even more complicated so unless I'm convinced otherwise at some point by very valid arguments, I'll stay single. But thanks again! I've reacted to some of your other videos as well. Wish I would have seen some of them earlier.

women file 90% of the time….so if u take the woman out of the equation, the overall divorce rate would only be 20%! the man needs counseling??!!!

@propersami7704

8 ай бұрын

Re-read your comment skippy

@KoolT

8 ай бұрын

Incorrect. 75 percent. You're incompetent so I'm leaving 😂😂😂😂😂😂

@KoolT

8 ай бұрын

​@@propersami7704😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂❤

@KoolT

8 ай бұрын

You mess up checking account w yo math man why yo woman leave you😂😂😂😂😂😂😂❤

@liketearsintherain832

8 ай бұрын

​@propersami7704 it's a joke

Women: "If he really loved me, he would just know." Men: "If I had the power of telepathy, I would be a billionaire by now..."

Thanks so much. That clarified so much thoughts for me and assisted me to understand so much things.

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach

2 жыл бұрын

I'm so glad this one was helpful. Thank you, John, for watching and for supporting me here on the channel.

Rachel, I was getting close to losing hope in any relationship counselors until I discovered your channel! Everything you say makes sense to me. Finally some good logic in this matter and a highly refined delivery.

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you! Though I'm sorry to hear that you've had some bad experiences. If there is a particular topic you'd like me to speak to, please let me know here in the comments. I'd love to make this channel really work for you!

Your channel is a blessing. In reality, so many Men including myself literally struggle. Thanks and continue the good work.

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach

9 ай бұрын

Thank you. That means a lot to hear.

You forgot to add the prescription of SSRIs which added lots of changes within weeks. As far as being mean, she relished it.

I’m confused. We had a good conversation about separating. She told me I had till a certain day that papers would be be ready for me to sign. Literally everyday before the day came things were calm. The day came and she started being very nasty and started blaming me for everything. No papers were given to me on that day either. She has been very hurtful in her words tho. I want to stay but she’s been giving me mixed signals I feel.

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach

2 жыл бұрын

I apologize for such a slow reply. Somehow I missed your comment. This may no longer be relevant, but it sounds like she is projecting her emotions on to you. There is a real finality in signing papers, and it might be triggering her need to justify her decision in order for her to overcome any lingering doubts or self-blame. That can lead to her lashing out and blaming. Definitely confusing, and definitely not fair, but perhaps, on some level, understandable. How are you doing now?

@mr.fettesq.7705

2 жыл бұрын

Its spot on what you just said...all except the understandable part of that womans behavior. Its nor acceptable or understandable. Projection happens and she prob has confused thoughts of some regret...still makes acting nasty not ok. And makes her a bad person.

She tell the truth my ex said everything she is saying

I am not sure I ever loved her 32 years. I married her because she was the best choice then

Thank you

I can't seem to book anything with you 😕 any suggestions ?

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach

2 жыл бұрын

Hi, my apologies for being so slow to reply. I have been quite booked and a bit behind in these comments. You can email me at rachael@rachaelsloancoaching.com and we can find a time to speak. Please give me a bit of information about your situation and what you're looking for in coaching, and also let me know your time zone so I can send you a few times.

be glad she moved on i am five years after divorce i havent been able to enjoy it. she is someone elses problem. i dont look up people before i met my ex wife either why? why bring up high school after divorce. i dont have mental illnesses like people who are out of high school who look at peoples baby pictures social media stalk their high school sweethearts thirty years after high school why do they still have their number even at 90 like s former uncle of mine and his son keep trying live like high school why? maybe they need medication to keep from sextorting or blackmailing people with revenge porn. if they do it at 80 they were like that in high school themselves.

This fit so well and made so much sense. She was at least half a year ahead of me, going by what she said (reason #1). Also I know her mother/her parents kinda fucked her up, along the lines of "don't make waves", "as long as you don't address a conflict there IS no conflict" etc. Her mother also has terrible behavior when it comes to conflicts. She'll insult you/demean you to your face, but when you "fight" back SHE'll get angry. She won't actually SAY she's angry, she'll just stamp around angrily etc. She's already in another relationship, at least since early in the separation, hell, maybe before, I'll never know. So she's doped up with oxytocin etc. (reason #2) and the relationship automatically validates her (reason #3). I don't know to what degree she blames me (reason #4), at least some I assume. I blame her as well, not exclusively though. I acknowledge I made mistakes and at least some of the stuff she claimed (not paying enough attention, I got too "lazy", too comfortable, took too much for granted etc.) is definitely true. I acknowledge my part in our problems, but at the very least she never ever clearly addressed her unhappiness etc., just "hints" and "signals". So I may have given her reason to be unhappy (she also had her faults, but I accepted them as part of the deal) but she never really fought for the relationship, never gave me/us a chance to fight for it. I expected honesty from her, to call me on my shit if necessary. I definitely needed a kick in the ass, but that only came with the "it's over, it's too late". Would have loved at least one chance before that. Now I'm working on myself, taking time for myself, no dating, just processing the divorce, the pain, and trying to come out of this mess better than was before it.

All of these explanations sound feasible, but you can't ignore that as an adult you have to develop some sort of communication skills and emotional intelligence along the way to explain how you feel to your partner. The rationalization just doesn't jive saying that she should just be understood or that she felt the guilt or remorse for leaving. It seems as if someone is relieving themselves of a whole relationship, there were things making them unhappy I don't think they'll be too miserable or shaken up by blowing up the relationship. Moving on for them means a new start and a new start is usually means to celebrate.

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach

Жыл бұрын

Hi Kevin, thanks for watching and taking the time to share your thoughts. I wish you were right when you say that as an adult you have to develop some sort of communication skills and emotional intelligence.... I agree that the world would be a MUCH nicer place if people did, but the reality is that they don't have to. And so often they don't. Many, many people (including many of our politicians) are walking around acting out impulsively and emotionally like 5 year old children. Communication skills and emotional intelligence are often not prioritized or valued in our society. And I do think you're right - for some people moving on is cause for celebration. For others it is deeply painful, even when they've chosen it. I did an interview awhile back with a coach who works with divorced women, and she really opened my eyes when she described how broken her clients felt, even though they were the ones who filed. She also talked about how talented many women become at pretending everything is great when they are dying inside, because they feel immense pressure to do everything on their own, be everything as a 'modern woman'. I imagine the exact inner experience varies wildly, just as it does for the men I work with. I'm sorry to hear that your experience has been so painful. I hope you're finding some good support to help you move forward and heal. Thank you for being her and sharing a little bit of your experience!

I got the I love you but not in love thing. That's after I kicked her mom out of the house because she was going through our house and and telling me how to live. There for I blame her mother for the separation. We're didn't sign papers yet and her best friend hopes when she comes to her senses and I will be there yet.

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach

2 жыл бұрын

Hi Keith, you left this comment a few weeks ago. How are things going for you? Have you and your wife reconciled?

@keithheller7775

2 жыл бұрын

@@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach we split up and sold the house doesn't look good. Still didn't do any divorce papers yet but I think it's probably going to happen.

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach

2 жыл бұрын

@@keithheller7775 I'm really sorry to hear that. How are you feeling through it all? If you'd like to talk about it or discuss some tools/strategies that can help you move through, let me know. I'm here to support you if I can.

@keithheller7775

2 жыл бұрын

@@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach yeah I don't know what to think don't want to but I think it's time to move on. It hurts because I think all the good stuff we did and the first time I met her. Guess I gotta toughen up and move on.

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach

2 жыл бұрын

@@keithheller7775 Making the decision to move on can be the hardest part. Honestly, toughening up is often what our friends and family think we need to do to move on, but I find that it isn't a very effective strategy because the hurt doesn't just go away. There are some things you can do to truly make peace with the past and heal those wounds which makes moving on a lot easier. You can book a free consultation with me and I can help you make a plan for moving on that works for you: calendly.com/rachaelsloan/strategy

It will back fire at some point.

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach

Жыл бұрын

I'm afraid it usually does. Sometimes knowing that makes it easier to cope.

Because she cheating before hand! He's just finding out

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach

7 ай бұрын

Sometimes that is the case. Not always though.

Yep, and this is all true....she didnt go through stages she just didn’t give a crap. I was hussled and it was my fault..This will never happen again....I dont care if I die alone, this will not happen again. This is a great channel.. It's is nice to listen to a smart logical lady. I may not agree with some stuff on here but the channel is great.. thank you..

Yea...no...i call bullshit again, while I agree that shes probably further along in the separation process...to make the assumption that she already went through exactly what we are going through now is nonsense. Because when someone is gone like really gone, the loss is real. In all aspects. She was able to to come up with ideas and experiments to maybe fix something and try it out because we were still there. Weather it worked or not...age "want through all that grief already" with us sleeping next to them available for them. Theh in essence got to have their cake and eat it too. Got to say all their goodbyes within themselves while still being intimate. We the dumped get NONE of that. Not even close. We get cruelty, resentment and annoyance by our Exes. It's a completely different animal. So no it is not the same and she dod not experience the same thing already. She took the easy way out with lots of thought and trying..whatever she could come up with. She could watch you tube videos and take advise and try those things actively. We get none of that. To try and make the claim she went through the same thi g already is rubbish and should be called out for the rubbish it is. This is why it's easier for the dumper. This is why it appears they have moved on faster. Because they were able to do whatever they wanted and now still get to do whatever they want while blaming you and being cruel at the same time. That fact should be discussed a hell of a lot more. The dumper should have spoken up and gotten the dumper involved. It takes 200% to trh and fix something or mend a relationship or marriage. Not just 1 half of that. How fucking selfish.

@keywestfan2503

Жыл бұрын

Accountability is like kryptonite my man

You tell me things I know are true but I don't like what I'm hearing. The truth hurts, why is life so painful.

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach

Жыл бұрын

Your comment made me sigh this morning, Tim. I agree. Life is painful. Sometimes I find myself wondering why it has to be that way... last night I took a restorative yoga class. Usually I prefer the more active stuff, but I really needed to settle my nervous system yesterday. It helped. And in one of the long, still, supported poses the thought occured to me that there is literally no light without darkness, and vice versa. If there was only light, we wouldn't even know it was light. It is only the contrast that defines them, and we couldn't comprehend one without the other. I think perhaps that's also true with emotion. Could we know joy without knowing pain? Would there be any meaning to pleasure if loss didn't exist? I'm not totally sure, to be honest... but I think that if we ever really did arrive in heaven or hell we might only experience it as joyful or painful for as long as we retained our memories of what the opposite experience was like. This is a bit of a ramble. Not sure if it helps or not! But I hear you - and I agree. It's hard. It hurts. I also think its worth it. Have you seen this from Katie Morton? A client recently shared it with me and it's pretty cool: instagram.com/reel/Cldgw88MRuY/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y%3D

My exgirlfriend broke up after 12 years just before Christmas. She has been emotionally distant, for a long time with really random negative comments about me... Suddenly after she broke up , she got on dating apps and a lot of late night partying, and posts happy things on social media. She is totally disconnected from me it feels... Very hurtfulj, we got two wonderfull kids too... You have some really good stuff on your channel. Thanks

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach

2 жыл бұрын

Hi Mikael, You're welcome, thank you for watching. I'm really sorry you're going through this right now. How are you doing?

@mikaeltvedt4245

2 жыл бұрын

@@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach Hi! Well I manage, sort of. I dream of her at night, being sweet at lovely and all that... We live in a small town, sometimes I see her, it feels like a cold spear comes through my chest, taking away my energy... What happened in our relationship I don't know really. I misset intimacy and she missed communication. Maybe I didn't listen, when she needed it... The hardest part for me now, is thinking of her with someone else. And that I miss her, being together with our kids. We had the magic, acceptance for each other, it was so great. She is 40 and I'm 38. She is probably thinking the grass is greener, and she could settle with someone better... 🖤

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach

2 жыл бұрын

@@mikaeltvedt4245 ​ Thank you for sharing some of your story. It sounds like things changed really suddenly for you. I hope you're finding some peace for yourself. If you find that you're getting stuck or that the energy sucking spear is impacting your life, I may be able to help you. If you find yourself at the point, you can schedule a consultation call with me here: www.rachaelsloancoaching.com/contact-8 or email me at rachael@rachaelsloancoaching.com

@yiannisyannakis7698

2 жыл бұрын

Don't worry it's not gonna last long. Partying and one midnight standing it's not a relationship but just another btch going with the flow. Man stand up for yourself, do your best and get someone new. But be careful with that, take slow steps as you learned your lesson from your ex. Never invest 💯 into a new relationship

@montavictoriam4044

Жыл бұрын

i see ur point ..im feeling the same way and trying to defeat it

She move on 2 months before she ask for a divorce

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach

2 жыл бұрын

That sucks. I'm really sorry. How are you doing?

Well, first off all, as a man life teach us that women are all but goddesses. So if you are not the sole reason why the relationship has gone south, you have so many stages to go thru. Like you are falling from a very high heaven before you hit the ground. And only then can you start all over. Personally i think i stand at, or close to, that ground now. And right now I'm wondering...i put up with so much crap, believing that the reward was spending time with something divine. And it turns out women are just humans like myself. Suddenly the world is all changed.

I truely believe I was just a place holder. She may have gone through all I've been through (I doubt it) but see went from my bed to his in one day. He's physically everything I always wanted to be.

I was a fool, our son would cry and scream when i would hand him to her and she blamed me for thst and would call to cuss me out after.

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach

Жыл бұрын

Hi JB, I've been seeing some of your comments, and it sounds like you've been through hell. I'm really sorry. How are you doing? Do you have someone on your team to support you as you move past this?

@jb5313

Жыл бұрын

@@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach Hi,yes i do and i am doing much better now. My ex is alone in a small 1 bedroom apt and my son is with me. Her lover dumped her and she told a mutual friend that all men are just out to use her for a toy. Our friend told her that no she had a husband that would have died for her and she not only threw him out but did everything she could to destroy his life. They aren't friends since lol. I have met a beautiful woman who i think maybe the one. Funny the 1st time i introduced her to my son i gave my ex the option to be present. She already had another guy around him. We met at my house and i was showing the ex my sons bedroom where he would be sleeping. The idiot my ex was dating told my gf that she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen and asked her out. My gf pulled me aside very upset and told me. I told them it was time for them to go. I called my ex later and told her but she didn't believe me lol. I figure they deserve each other. They broke up and my ex works from home and has put on about 90 pounds. I've heard she regrets her choices but she'll never admit it to me.

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach

Жыл бұрын

@@jb5313 It sounds like the problems she was struggling with weren't solved by divorce. It also sounds like you are finding some good things in your life, with the new partner. It is hard to tell just from comments... but it sounds like maybe your ex still occupies a lot of your thoughts? Is that the case or is it just that we happened to be talking about her? In my experience it can feel pretty good when you see your ex struggling, especially when she treated you so poorly... but it's also been my experience that holding on to that feeling can be limiting in the long run, because it keeps you focused on her instead of on yourself and your life. That might not be the case at all for you. Like I said, it's hard to tell from such a brief conversation. I'm really glad to hear that you get to be with your son, and congratulations on building what sounds like a lovely new relationship!

👍

She acted as an horrible person in the end.... And I so sorry about her and the fuzz that she put us and our kids in. I m out of her black and white thinking. Adults shouldn t thinking like that and solve their issues together. Thanks for the kind words.

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach

2 жыл бұрын

You're welcome. And I'm sorry to hear that you went through all of that at the end. How are you doing now?

@montavictoriam4044

Жыл бұрын

i feel u man ..i told her the same as well lets try one more time as we both know how now we can fix things ..but she left me and im still trying to jusify her action its hard especially that we have kids together

4:24 "If it was true love, he would just notice....."She's not crazy for thinking this! Lots and lots of women think this way!.....Its not your fault either! ...How could you know if she didn't tell you?" Either He should notice or he shouldn't. So, yeah....she IS crazy!

@DystopianUtopia8

Ай бұрын

It's total BS.

These are all true.. yepp..fool

Uh.....she done w your azz mooch😮😂😂😂😂😂❤

🙏🏽🥹🙏🏽