The Binge Eating Therapist
The Binge Eating Therapist
Welcome to my channel, The Binge Eating Therapist. I'm Sarah and I am a former binge eater turned psychotherapist. My mission is to use this space to share content with you that will help you to make sense of your struggle with food and break free from compulsive eating and binge eating.
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I am going to turn off my computer and KZread viewing at 10 and read until bed time.
Just stumbled across your channel. Your video completely encapsulates my problem almost as if you were speaking about me, grieving the end of the meal. I've never left an empty plate in my life, I can eat everything in huge amounts. I'm not "fat" but have an almost unstoppable appetite - I can literally eat all day long in amounts that many think impossible. I have gotten away with this habit for years but it's catching up with me and I need to address it. I've bought your book for some help and inspiration.
Thank you 🙏🏿
I will try your advice tonight. No phone, no online shopping and let's hope the urge to eat all the ice cream from the freezer will go away
Let us know how it goes!
I am struggling with my weight and really trying to train my mind not to eat just for the sake of eating. I try to eat healthy now and find it helpful. Great vid. Cheers
I am addicted to sweets! I never overeat on other foods but sweets!
9:22 This one's a good one. Yesterday, I had a late meal because I was on a roll doing other tasks; the socially acceptable time slowly passed me by, and my parents called me while I was cooking. Yesterday I cooked too much, and I was low key too tired/peaceful (-positive story!) to eat it. I am kind of a tornado in the kitchen, but without resenting it, I nourish my soul. After deciding to put back leftovers, I'll (snack on it, while in a balance of) have a preset meal for today.
5:06 Do you consider making an intentional decision a form of progressive overload to become resilient to decision fatigue?
I may not have used those words, but yes, I think that gentle intentions can help guide decisions that may otherwise be overanalysed (leading to mental fatigue) and some decisions ahead of time mean fewer decisions throughout the day, which saves mental energy. The important piece is to understand your own temperament well enough to recognise when this starts to feel like a lack of choice that triggers a rebellious response
There IS a way out of this food eating thing! There IS! I call it the battery pack! Not quite there yet, but I will make a battery to keep the sane people (the non cookers like us) out of that hated kitchen.
Thank you❤
Thank you SOOO much. Each time I've heard about the binge eating I struggle with, when searching for an answer, I didn't really felt like I was able to finally managed to possess the knowledge that can ACTUALLY help me. The points you mentioned were really mindful, opening the parts of my eyes that saw them yet didn't know it. I love how you explained it all, I love how I was able to relate. Even just for those short 13 minutes. My journey, or, as I should say NOW: me being in the state A was a common thing I couldn't really get a grip on. I let it go too much, not knowing what to do even when I desperately tried. I want to make sure to be in the state B more for now on, I hope not to feel so horrible ever again. Once more, thank you miss.❤
i have had food issues so many years, i havent a clue real hunger, real cravings, appropriate amounts, and I really dont KNOW what i really WANT to eat. I found that restriction completely is the only thing i do! Doesnt matter what i weigh, i feel out of control unless i just DONT eat much. Just enough to survive. That is safe for me.😢. These videos help so much to try to understand all this.
❤🩹
Does this make sense I top up in reverse which has led to intuition good eating- ( ref last part of your video)
You have completely changed my life Sarah and I'm only just at the start of this healing journey. I can't thank you enough and please come to Australia so I can meet you and give you the biggest hug. <3
Awww 🥹🥹❤️
Stress made me go down the slippery slope of binge eating. After a whole year of not tracking my food, I stopped having those big binges, but I was still overeating. Then when I finally got a break from both my job and side job, I started losing weight. I've lost 6 kg since the beginning of May and now I have the eating habits of a normal person 😭😭😭 I don't want to go back to work, I'll gain all the weight back.
im so grateful for your videos, im struggling so much with trying to be mindful but i disassociate so much when i eat
I noticed you said 3:00 pm was when you started noticing a sugar craving. I sometimes have cravings that usually hit from 2:00 to 3:00. This happens on days that I don't have a big meal. Days that I eat a good amount of food and more protein than carbs, I don't get the cravings in the afternoon. I'm thinking, I may not be eating enough at lunch.
Is it a good idea to have certain systems in place to avoid a binge? Each time I am in my kitchen home alone, I binge. I want to just have the freedom and disciple to not binge when I am around food, but I find that I can only go days without bingeing if I stay away from places with lots of food. @thebingeeatingtherapist
You just honestly get it and have a very clear and helpful way of articulating the internal struggles that I identify with so much. Thank you. I would like to add something that helps me anticipate eating less and making it a positive instead of a negative. When I do this, it is helpful. I know I will be going out with friends to eat Mexican food. I know it’s going to be delicious and we do this once a month. It used to be an episode of overeating that I used to anticipate with pleasure. It can be scary now when I don’t want to do that and difficult to not do it. So I spend some time now anticipating how it’s going to be delicious and because there is only so much room in my body, only so many bites are actually enjoyable. The first three bites are ‘10’ delicious. The next three or four bites are ‘7-8’ range. As I have maybe 5 to 10 more bites they start to fall down into the ‘5’ range. I know at that point my body will have had enough and if I continue eating that the bites will be 2s and 1s and maybe even negative numbers. So the overall grade point average of deliciousness just falls the more I eat. I do grieve the end of the meal, but if I’m honest, I become more aware that I’m actually not enjoying it anymore. I really want to stop and not kill it with low quality less enjoyable bites. Thinking of it this way helps me be happy to let enough be enough. Still not easy but this process helps me. Just offering it in case it might be helpful.
This has been so helpful. I’m slowly improving. I can actually see my progress. I never thought I could get better but I am. On a binge day I say I’m just having a bad day. This is temporary and I don’t need to panic. Then the pressure is off and I do better. I try not to plan food because that triggers me if I focus too much.
Your videos have/are helping me through so much. I had no idea I even had an eating disorder for so long but I’m slowly uncovering it and it’s all starting to make sense. watching your videos has validated a lot of my feelings and made me feel less crazy. Thank you for sharing xxx
What wonderful information on here in the comments we should start a meeting we need you all!!😃
Oh my goodness the Lord just led me to your channel. You are great. I have to tell you there's been more times of fear of running out of food lately than ever before and it's been tripping me out because I start to raid the kitchen. I'm already an over eaters so it's terrible because I am panic binging. I've always been the type of person when the stress going on I lost my appetite and all of a sudden in the last year it is done a flip. All I wanna do is eat when I'm stressed. I work out all the time I am diagnosed in therapy once a week, I go to my AA meeting four years clean and sober and this year I have a year as a non-smoker. I sure don't need this to become another vice and I'm really getting concerned. Thank you so much so far for your information. I've only listened to five minutes and 19 seconds of your video.
Yes exactly...get into the part of the brain which allows choice really making your own choice. Accept that the addictive desire will still be there and accepting it
Thank you so .much for this video ❤
Nutrition is so important! Thanks for the tips. 🥗🥑
Very helpful!!
I'm 16 years old girl and I had this problem for years I use to eat fast food 3 time a day now I'm trying to only eat once in a month it's really hard for me but I'm trying
Hi would this also relate to watching and eating at the same time? I wouldn't classify as binge eating, but definitely extra eating, and enjoyable....thank you for your helpful videos :)
It can be and there can be a bit more to eating with a screen. I have a whole podcast episode on it: kzread.info/dash/bejne/g4prrbedhK2bgLw.htmlsi=49R8KxW98kF1gIL8
Thank you Sarah for this podcast. I can't tell you how many times I read Geneen Roth's books and that was in my 20's! I am now in my late 40's and still struggling. What did you think of Geneen Roth's retreat? I would love to go to one but they are always out of state and expensive. It's summer time and I hate wearing shorts and swimsuits. Yet I am working as a group leader in a day camp. I am doing this for my youngest to go to camp. I end up wearing the almost dreaded capris because it's what I sort of feel comfortable in. I will be 50 in a year and a half. Why can't I just get over this binge eating mentality? Thank you.
I highly recommend checking out this conversation I had about Geneen Roth and her work: kzread.info/dash/bejne/X66E09KMmdyqZ9o.htmlsi=A9WiQLzQvzfzQe3o Both of us have been on her retreats, gained some insight from her work, but also have a couple of concerns about her messaging at times
Sometime I feel like my biology is also scared of my own psychology. I've restricted my own food in the past on and off, so I can also see how my appetite my try extra hard to obtain as much food as possible in case my shame tries to cut off food again.
❤🩹❤🩹
Thank you so much!
Sarah, this video (and your others) are so wonderful. I hope you had a good time on the yoga retreat. The writer Kate Manne in her latest book Unshrinking has a similar idea to body allowance which she refers to as "body reflexivity". xx
Thank you. It does help to break "I hate cooking" into exactly what I hate, so I can work on it. Basically I hate every cooking thing mentioned in the comments. Lol.
Hi could you please do a video about eating while watching? That is the most time that i will crave crisps etc, and rarely snack if not watching. Thats probably been most challenging part of intuitive eating, although thankfully no more bingeing. I first started learning about IE about 7 or 8 months ago....thank you :)
Very relatable. I do have this podcast episode where we talk about this: kzread.info/dash/bejne/g4prrbedhK2bgLw.htmlsi=LSs9KkH98mRRp-Y6
I guess idislike the eating✨
I am living with my almond mom currently and I have no other choice. She keeps making comments about my body and my weight. For her if I don’t lose weight immediately I won’t be able to find clothes that fits me and I will keep gaining weight. Even tho I told her to stop, I won’t try to lose weight she still trys to make me do some diet by secretly (I don’t know if that makes sense). Like by saying “ You don’t eat in the mornings if you stop eating at night you will lose weight.“ or “ You need to cut of gluten.” And I can’t make her stop for the life of me. I can see how she is disgusted by my body. It hurts a lot and the bad thing I started to see myself exactly like how she does. I really need an advice on how to make her stop because she affects my recovery so much and I find myself relapsing .
Oh jeez! What a distressing situation for you. I'm so sorry that you are having to deal with that. We have actually recorded a podcast episode about this and it will be released on KZread on Tuesday 9th July over on the Life After Diets Podcast channel. Hopefully it will give you some ideas about how to handle this. There is too much to say about this for me to put in a comment...
Something that has worked for me is thinking ahead about the meal and considering if it will be satisfying. Not just will it satisfy my hunger but will it satisfy my need for variety or tastes, textures, and types of foods. If I DECIDE ahead of time that what I’m going to eat WILL satisfy, then I find I enjoy the meal more and don’t keep reaching for something else.
How does all this in neurodivergent minds?
There is a lack of research into neurodiversity and binge eating so we have a big gap in evidence-based knowledge, which makes it very hard to answer this in a comment. With my neurodiverse clients we have to piece together what we understand about their processes and figure it out from there on an individual basis as there is so much diversity within neurodiversity.
@@TheBingeEatingTherapist thank you! A few minutes in I realized this wasn't for me. Appreciate the honesty of there not being enough research. I wish other types of therapists would be more honest about us needing different therapy. ♥
@@ruthhorowitz7625 I'm glad you were able to identify what you didn't need in my video and actually your comment is inspiring a possible video idea. I've been reluctant to make one because there doesn't seem to be enough information about it, but maybe that's why I should 🤔 One of my very closest friends is another therapist who is neurodivergent (ADHD and autism) and she has had therapy as a client where she was missed on so many levels and at the time (pre diagnosis) blamed herself for not being able to make the changes she was trying to make. We have a lot of conversations about how to make therapy a safe and helpful place for neurodivergent. She is my go-to person whenever I need her perspective and I have learned so much through our friendship 🤩
omg wish you were my therapist! thank you
5:11 I choose to be striving instead of struggling. To strive for better is different because you don't let yourself be looked at(, by you or {the patronization from} others) in a way that suggests you are tangled in your wishes. This allows me to stand up (for myself) to the sneaky notion that my immediate effort is in vain or obsessive.
In this part I’m speaking to the ‘diet-starts-tomorrow’ mentality. I had binge eating disorder and would make the same promise to myself that tomorrow I would do it differently. Calling myself out in the moment would sometimes stop a binge (not always) because I realised I couldn’t keep kidding myself that I just be able to transform overnight. It helped me to stop heaping all the responsibility onto tomorrow me and focus on what might be possible now.
Once I start I can’t stop. Literally. I hate food but I eat it nonstop unless I’m asleep 😢
Thanks!
Thank YOU! 🙏🏻❤️
International friend here! 👋🫶 So grateful for this channel and your brilliant voice of reason (especially during the times when my own internal voice of reason has gone temporarily offline). I guess I tend to swing back and forth on the chaos/control pendulum. I started buying "binging foods" again within the last couple weeks. I didn't realize that I was using food as another way to punish or hurt myself. 😥 I practice mindfulness in other areas, but I'm newer to practicing around how I use food to nourish my body. Abstinence (from binging foods) seems safer to me, because I feel like I get so out of control when I give myself permission to eat certain foods. Then I began considering that maybe I'm not eating enough during the day (but only because your of your videos!) I do cardio 5 days/wk. during my lunch hour, and eat my lunch at my desk afterwards while I'm working. I didn't notice any significant weight loss. And since I spend so much more time sitting now that I work a desk job, I thought 1000 calories or less was totally legitimate. It didn't occur to me that the evening cravings and compulsions could actually be valid hunger.... Anyway, thank you holding space here, and for sharing all your amazing insights. Grateful for your guiding light on the journey.
Trying to diet again and your videos are very helpful understanding how to control some impulsive behavior. I know my demons and are trying to keep them at bay. Thank you for the videos.
I am feeling tired
Polite comment - study with shakes and ghrelin seems strange. You can't just trick the body about different caloric intake. In a metabolically healthy person, different organs in our digestive track with receptors "can sense" how much nutritionally danse food we ingest. Even low-fat milk vs high-fat milk digest differently. Hormon ghrelin is just a piece in a very large picture in human digestion. Overall, i really appreciate your work and helping us with food struggles.
Ghrelin is released in anticipation of how much food we believe we are about to consume. We won’t trick the body long term because you are right. It’s much smarter than that. If you are about to eat the stomach releases ghrelin before you even take a bite. If you are planning to eat a small snack you get a small amount of ghrelin. If you are about to eat a big meal you will get a larger release of ghrelin. It also had a natural circadian cycle so there’s more to it too. Here’s the link to the study so you can see (if you’re interested, not trying to push an agenda) pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/21574706/
Thank you, me neither 🙏🏻🙂 In my opinion, this study is more like "cherry picking", not so well designed, showing narrow results and conclusions. Broadwise, taking ghrelin to consideration - if it would be so simple, that we can just mentally trick our body how much food we eat, there will be less obesity and ED. I THINK 🙃 that this kind of "mentally tricking body" mindset can lead to physical hunger and maybe again to mental restriction, because a person falsely assumes that he/she ate too much calories ??? Just my thoughts...
Such good ideas and thoughts. Thank you
Yada yada I like you! I’m going to butterfly a lot, my diabetes is out of control. You are very helpful.
These videos are really helpful. At the age of 62, I am sick of bingeing when I'm tired or distessed. Evenings are difficult because I'm tired but I'm learning to sit with it. I go to bed at 9pm now. My bingeing is less to do with restriction and more to do with emotional distress, anxiety and chronic insomnia from working nights. Now I'm retired, my sleep is better and I've got time for me. I watch one video a day, let it sink in and I'm slowly reading your book. Thank you 😊
So good. This is also a helpful comment for me. Wishing you the best!