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Very beautiful, Margaret, the reading is from The Prophet that you shared. I wS reminded my my faith that our children are loaned to us to raise so they can fly solo as adults. Just yesterday, I observed a Swallowtail bird flying in and out of her nesting home feeding her babies. She saw me observing from the balcony and went into guarding mold. I stepped out of sight of her and thought , God, as mothers human and animals,we are here to give birth,protect,feed,feather our nest,teach, and love our babies to fly solo into their adulthood. No longer a parent and child relationship but an adult to adult relationship. Choosing to be friends or not. Giving and doing our best to raise our child(ren) is what matters and brings peace to our soul. We make mistakes and learn from them.our children will do the same. Peace to all.❤❤❤
This came at a time when for some reason my estrangement was being particularly painful - I desparately needed a hug from my beautiful daughter. Well, I'm going to put this poem on my fridge door where I"ll see it every day and this will be my hug. Thank you Margaret for this wonderful gift! God bless and hugs!❤
I recently heard a discussion that it helps lighten age spots or brown spots on the face.
How beautiful - thank you, Margaret ❤️
Intuition is a gift if we trust ourselves to listen. The Gift of Fear by Gavin De Becker looks at examples where gut instinct saved lives. Love this video!
My beautiful, sweet, and wise mother kept this poem in her bedroom wall... thank you Margaret ❤
Bravo for opening the dialogue on this topic that's been a lifelong challenge due to traumatic experiences and caregiver duty and multiple deaths. Financial constraints also. I appreciate your transparency because I am an empathetic person whose coping skill is doing for others.
My dad walked away from me when I was 22, as well as my brothers. My parents divorced. Never called me, his only daughter for years, no birthday cards, nothing. He got a new family. 13 years later we tried to reconcile and it didn't work...I'd had it with his abuse and stupidity. When he was dying from cancer he reached out. Nope, did not make myself available, I had to turn my back on him to survive....when I was 18 he beat me up very severely. The estrangement was one of the most painful things someone can go thru. I'm OK now but it's 21 years later. Each situation has its own issues and perhaps the estranged child has a similar story to mine.
That’s women’s tragedy: believing motherhood gives intrinsic value to their life. When will women understand life has to be seized by oneself and enjoyed ? Mothers included? We are all useful in this life, mother or not. When will women drop their naïveté and illusions about motherhood and accept reality for what it is? Take responsibility for your own enjoyment of life and stop demanding extra status and respect. Nowadays, motherhood is a choice in the western world. Stop creating the dramas your kids want to get away from. Exactly. They do not owe you anything. And if they express gratitude, it is not because you have more value than any other being. It is just because you “performed” certain things well, which we all do, one way or another. Said by a 62 years old woman.
I am not a mother, but I did owe my mum who refused to give me up when she was in an asylum. She discharged herself and set about keeping a roof over our heads and giving Sis and me the best future she could. You are correct in that mothers have to seize a future for themselves, my mum being proof of that having been periodically shut away spanning a period of 40 years because of misdiagnosis, she went on to further her education and prove her highly intelligent brain. Together we made her final years to 103 the happiest time of our lives.
@@jennywren8937 and if motherhood is one’s bliss, then I’m all for it, as long as one is fully aware of the personal choice involved in it, and not imposing an added value view of one’s choice to the rest of the world. I’m also all for gratitude like you do, for the parents who like your mother, have demonstrated real talent or discernment in taking the responsibility of raising children.
I remembered the first time I found his book: printed and put that up on my wall! Thank you for helping me revisit that wisdom. Thank you
I feel your tenderness and how keenly you feel about this topic. Thank you for making us aware that some people hearts are hurting because of estrangement in their lives❤️
My mother died and I did not go to her funeral. Why? Because the entire universe was about her. You lose the right to say what about me when you have a child. My mother never got that memo.
How people treat you is never a personal attack on you,but a relfection of what's happening inside them. Sadhguru ❤ We all find that perfect peace. Namaste.😮
Very wise words 🥰
From Christmas of 2021 until June, 2022, my adult daughter ghosted me completely. Until my grandson was graduating middle school, and she texted, asking if I'd like to join them for brunch. I went, of course; we've been able to manage cordiality for the children's sake (now ages 19 and 16, respectively). But, she severed ties with my son, her only brother, his fiancee and their child. That little boy is also my grandchild, and, I cannot forget the hurt and pain she has inflicted on a loving brother and an innocent child. She's a cruel woman. This has changed me in a way I can never be the same. Yes, it's extremely common and a blight on our society. Thank you SO much for addressing this, Margaret..we are suffering. 😞 Hugs. Rosemarie ❤
Apart from the frequent estrangement of my father, which I put down to selfishness, I wonder whether this phenomenon is more prevalent in adopted children. Of the three adopted people I knew, all raised well, as they grew up there was no family bond at all.
I'm going on my first HAL cruise next week! I'm very nervous. I wonder if I made a mistake. I hope that the crew is kind and understanding.
Intuition is so important indeed .It mostly tells the truth❤.ur right
Much love to you Margaret Manning! You are a treasure to all who listen & Hear! BIG Hug from Idaho to You Lady M
I cd a done better!
Thanku dear❤
This topic is what drew me to you Margaret. I think of you now as a Death Dula & someone who helps a LOT of women grapple with their losses. ❤THANK YOU❤
Thanku for this❤️😘
Silly poem. Read your Bible.
I’ve learned to show grace towards all the different types of people in the world as I’ve aged. I not only accept them ( and myself) but enjoy the colourful “quilt” they create ( and myself too lol) 🥰
Thank you Margaret Manning! Thank you for these reassuring videos! Yay!
I’m dealing with that too… It’s sad but I’ve come to the realization that there is nothing I can do to change that. I have my own relationship with both and to be honest it’s easier for me. I don’t have to take sides or listen to supposed grievances on various family situations, holidays, etc. I grew up in a family with 2 sisters and yes we had our squabbles and hurt feelings but we never would say that the relationships were toxic.. I guess that’s “social media” again providing the latest trend🤷♀️
This was in reply to another comment about sibling estrangement…
Heart hurts but you go on 💕
My late father in law read this poem at my infant son’s christening. How wise he was and I was blessed to have been his daughter in law. Thank you for sharing Margaret… poignant reminder for myself as my first grand daughter has just arrived.
How lucky you were to be part of his family 🥰
Very moving and powerful. Thank you for your message. I have been estranged from my daughter but we are now trying to heal.
Forgiveness ...own up to your wrong doing...apologize...or vise versa
You are so welcome
Thank you again Margaret ❤
I was told to always remember that my new born son was only on loan to me, by a very wise friend I have always held this belief, and I am lucky that I am still in my children's lives, in one case thanks to a wonderful daughter in law. But I think that it is a little unfair to assume that all estrangement is the result of mistakes by the parents. It seems to be a trend fanned by social media. Several of my friends are dealing with estrangement and they were all good parents. Our parents never had this to deal with, and they were able to have a greater influence on their children as a result.
Mary. Family problems have always existed. Always. People falling out with offspring/parents/relatives. And I dont think anyone is saying It is always the parents' fault. There are complex and complicated factors at play. Estrangements can and do happen where there are mental health issues, drugs, alcohol abuse etc. But leaving aside these issues, where there is a solid, steady foundation the family Will survive falling-outs and rows.
@@doloresaquines1529 I can't agree with you, I personally know several families who are dealing with estrangement, they have all provided loving supportive homes for their children. Also previous generations were not subjected to the influence of drugs to the same extent. I think it is much harder for families now.
In the 80's I got out of work after midnight and across the parking lot on a side street I noticed a car with one headlight just idling. I immediately knew something was wrong. I left the parking lot and just a block down the road this car zoomed up behind me, went around, and slammed on their breaks in front of me. Because I was hyper alert I was able to steer my way out of the situation of rear ending them (3 adult males in car). It was either an insurance scam or carjacking or god forbid a kidnapping. I returned to work where there was security and calmed down before going home.
Thank you, Margaret. That was powerful and so true. I was wondering, if someday, you could address the problem of being a parent of two siblings who are estranged from each other, (not from me.) It’s difficult for me to find what my role is in that situation. I try to hear both sides and stay neutral because I love them both and they are both intelligent, successful adults, but for many reasons, they do not speak to each other. I would like, someday for that to change, but I also have to prepare myself for the possibility that it won’t. Have you ever seen anything on that topic in your research? Thank you.
Well, User, the reasons, whatever they are, lie at the heart of the Matter. As their mother you are emotionally Close to them, which makes being an objetive moderator difficult. Perhaps a wise relative might help, or an outside mediator.
My husband had four siblings, and was close to only one sister. Only the other day I said how pleased I was when we met, that I had found a 'proper' family😮 My father in law was lovely, but passed prior to our marriage, and had been the mainstay of a family who not only had very little in common, but some actually disliked each other! It seemed a natural process to me that they ventured their own ways, and nothing new having worked on many ancestry investigations. Launched into adulthood, they have new paths to explore, and you are so fortunate that you still have both around.
@@jennywren8937 Thank you for your response. Your perspective was insightful and made me feel that not only am I not alone in this, but that you are completely right. I have both of them around. I need to think more on that positive and not only on the negative aspect of their relationship. Thank you.
@@doloresaquines1529 You really hit the nail on the head very concisely. It's just that it breaks my heart. I have often thought that they could use sibling counseling and wish that they would want to. Thank you for taking the time to respond. It helps.
@@user-ry9yh3wr4n Bless you! I do understand.
In my experience miscommunication is often at the root of estrangement... and then there is pride. I hope they do not struggle when we are no longer around, and there is no possibility for reconciliation. I wish all you wonderful mums happiness x
Very good advice.
Glad it was helpful!
It is a powerful message. However I am the one who cut off contact because my son and his wife are abusive. I feel awful that my son turned out this way but I cannot have him in my life. I wish him well
Kate. You took the correct course of action. It is devastating that he turned out to be abusive. Who knows the reasons why.
One of my late sister's children was, and still is, very toxic. She gave my sister such hell that Sis happily helped her pack her bags ready for departure to Canada. I've heard that she rules her poor unfortunate husband with a rod of iron, and her sister keeps in touch out of 'duty'. I wouldn't.
🥰
Thank you for this. I have an adult child who is mentally ill. He doesn't work and is running out of his grandfather's trust money. It is so hard to just listen to him without trying to help with ideas he doesn't want to hear. He comes and he goes. Thank you for this helpful listening. This was very helpful. I will let go.
Bonnie. All you can do is let go. It is very sad. Nothing you can do. Without professional help he will continúe onthis trajectory. Mental illness is a dreadful burden.
Understanding mental illness takes some handling. All suggestions, however well meant, can be overwhelming to someone who is already overburdened in mind. Of course you will need specialist guidance, and I know from experience that this is hard to find. Meanwhile, quietly gaining trust and being around to listen is a start, since mental illness is so complex. Best wishes.
My heart goes out to you regarding your son. Mental illness is a horrible sickness. I do hope things improve for you and your son gets the help he needs.
I’m wondering why there exists this phenomenon where an overwhelming amount of adult children are estranged from their parents. My husband and I are going through an estrangement with one of our daughters, who has cut us out of her life about two years ago. Trying to make sense of what has happened I have come to the conclusion that this is a trend amongst a vast number of adult children. Has there ever been a time in history where this has occurred ? My mum and I had our difficult times. Sometimes we would be estranged, but never for more than a month or so. I couldn’t cut my mum out of my life even if I wanted to. It would be excruciatingly painful. Yet this current generation are able to cut their parents off. As you said, Margaret, they have their reasons. Our daughter has refused to tell us why she’s doing this. I’m familiar with The Prophet. Thank-You so much for reading it to us today. Those words are comforting and wise. I think I’ll print them out, keep them with me and try very hard to be content with not ever knowing why our lovely daughter has cut us off.
Catherine . Keep asking. There is a reason. DShe may find It difficult to Tell you. And no, this "current generatión" are all not able to cut off their parents. That is unfair!
I am glad to hear this! My 3 Children and 4 Grandkids, I never see or hear from. This set me FREE🙏😉 NOT going to worry about it anymore. Just live my life. And, do for others, who think I am an OKAY PERSON. Thanks for POSTING this. It SPOKE VOLUMES.❤❤️🩹❤❤️🩹❤❤️🩹❤❤️🩹❤ Sharon Moses Eugene, Oregon
Thank you for this. It is so powerful.
Dude looks like he’s never had a woman interested in him. I know young women who are physically attracted to women older men who are not n shape and good looking. 😂
I did the best I could with what I had at the time.😢
Absolutely
Same here. My adult sons don’t consider what I went through and the lack of support. I did the best I could considering so many unfortunate circumstances that I had to deal with. Stay strong!!
😢Thank you! I needed this