Thanks for watching everyone. If you want to learn more about becoming more sociable, check out my whole playlist on building relationships with others here: kzread.info/head/PLgVZMuITSnetVwlL51dHinz1eReqrMNYG

@nathanramsundar2403

2 жыл бұрын

What did you use to learn html and java?

@ColeHastings

2 жыл бұрын

i think i started on codeacademy, then i just did trial and error through w3schools

@nathanramsundar2403

2 жыл бұрын

@@ColeHastings ok thanks alot really appreciate it

@renegroulx7029

2 жыл бұрын

I enjoyed the video, however, I wonder, are you a vampire? I see those fangs at the bottom, are they real?

@moritz3168

2 жыл бұрын

This feels like one of your best narrated videos of all time. Guess it was supposed to do that xD

Have you ever seen those "boring, awkward" people get around their friends they've known for years? There's nothing boring or awkward about them. There's something holding them back in new situations.

@licelieutenant7435

10 ай бұрын

break down the last part for me 😸

@Diabolic9595

10 ай бұрын

I am boring, awkward. And yeah, i don't have any friends because of this

@zloypanda679

9 ай бұрын

Can relate to this.

@RIP_ZYZZ1738

9 ай бұрын

​@@Diabolic9595You don't have friends because those things you say about yourself become true once you say them. They're not physical traits or something. So you manifest that energy once you characterized yourself as that

@Diabolic9595

9 ай бұрын

@@RIP_ZYZZ1738 Yeah, there are barriers in my head because of which my social skills suck. I started working with therapist. We'll see if it helps

Being authentic and genuinely paying attention to when others talk will change your life… People can sense when they’re being listened to, and when you listen carefully, your words and conversations become so much more authentic. That’s when your personality will flourish. As always, great video, Cole.

@TheToNtTuToNy

2 жыл бұрын

100% this

@Mikey_Anthony

2 жыл бұрын

Totally, that’s basically the only way to truly build connection. This also weeds out the inauthentic, closed off, superficial type people. They can’t hold deep convos like that. Authentic/open minded people thrive and engage more in those kind of discussions.

@galumptiouspotato9989

2 жыл бұрын

True. I find my hangouts 1 on 1 much more authentic because we both listen to each other and even laugh about things we talked about a while ago.

@ivansoto9723

Жыл бұрын

@@galumptiouspotato9989 I don't know why but I'm very sociable 1 on 1 but find it really hard to be part of a conversation between 3 people. I often find myself becoming a 3rd wheel the moment they talk about something I don't understand or really care about. Like a tv show or game I haven't seen or played or some experience only they shared.

@galumptiouspotato9989

Жыл бұрын

@@ivansoto9723 I know what you mean fs. Now I just realize it’s ok not being relatable or always having something to say, I just wait until I have input.

My "personality" revolved around my mother. It was always about impressing her, not making her mad, avoiding beatings, doing things that she could brag about to aunties etc. No sleepover, no parties, no hanging out, hell I didn't have social connection outside classes, all because she wanted to "protect me." One day I realized I had nothing to talk about other than school stuff and my mom. To all young ladies out there, pleeeaasseee let your future son have a life outside your supervision:(

@spacewalker7520

Жыл бұрын

People like us are doomed.

@DavidS-xu3pm

Жыл бұрын

@@spacewalker7520 facts

@VasterLordUlquiorra

9 ай бұрын

буквально описания "сына корзинка"

@nates_80

9 ай бұрын

I can relate. Glad to know there are people out there like me.

@yafilmme6160

9 ай бұрын

@@kanyedafuccincreator don’t worry you’re gonna get better

As a born introvert with social anxiety, within the past year I began going to social events more and getting into the motion of things. I learned to just go up and talk to people. Now I can say that I don't shy away like I used to, and I can keep up with small talk pretty well. The problem I learned was that I would eventually run out of things to say after 15 mins. I lack passions, I'm not opinionated, and thus my personality is weak. I struggle to form proper relationships with people, and hope this video will help me out.

@aranciata2704

Жыл бұрын

Yeah, you are not alone. I've always struggled to make deep connections with people because I always had few interests and would lose my passion for most things, and I always try to observe others in hopes that I will learn how to be like them and know what they are interested in, but at the end of the day, I just realize that Im hollow inside. So I guess we should find what we really love doing in life and stop caring about messing it up, I believe in you

@kklap3219

Жыл бұрын

Keep in mind that its not just up to you to have things to say. If theres an awkward silence, it means the other person doesnt have anything to say either. People that share common interests rarely feel like this, because they actively do, or want to do, stuff together. Just talking for the sake of talking is never gonna lead anywhere

@rustr3780

11 ай бұрын

Same. I’m good at starting something with small talk but I can never develop a relationship further because I run out of things to express and talk about that the other person would be receptive to. Then it all fizzles out and I’m back to square one 😢

@thepastarat

7 ай бұрын

If you can hold a conversation for 15 minutes, that's nothing to complain about. Not every conversation needs to last for hours. If you've both said everything you feel like saying, tell them you enjoyed talking with them and go do something else. Also, not being opinionated doesn't mean you have a weak personality, it just means your personality isn't opinionated. Nothing wrong with that.

@nickreaper6624

5 ай бұрын

Wtf is a born introvert 💀

Boring is very subjective, a scientist could bore to death a musician, a fighter could bore to death an engineer. We all like different things, there are lots of people out there, there are god tips on this video but don´t be to hard to yourself, everyone is interesting in their own way.

@prayk11

2 жыл бұрын

The storytelling skill is important for everybody though. Everyone have some kind of personality, but that won't matter much if you can't express yourself.

@michalgabriel9647

Жыл бұрын

Thats why you need to become a scientist, musician, fighter... etc. The point of this video is that you find teh things you like and develop them

@YonkoAgenda

Жыл бұрын

Great point, it's all about perspective

@rd-lw4td

Жыл бұрын

@@prayk11 people's stories bore me. No thanks. I like conversations.

@Checkmate777

Жыл бұрын

That’s true but at the same time as a person you have to be talking to someone else you have to somewhat be listening and responding to them. If you are always talking to people out of your own accord people will get bored. A person who only talks about science is cool for maybe like 45 minutes and then it’s like alright let’s move on.

Probably the highest quality self-improvement content out there.

@ColeHastings

2 жыл бұрын

haha thanks but i wouldnt say that. We will get there eventually though

@imnotusingmyrealname4566

2 жыл бұрын

@@ColeHastings I was just absolutely enchanted by that story you told!

@suu964

2 жыл бұрын

@@ColeHastings it really is , one of the best videos i have watched in along time glad i knew your channel

@wars4242

2 жыл бұрын

@@suu964 any other channels you recommand?

@suu964

2 жыл бұрын

@@wars4242 i find muchelleb also really good , it might be confusing at first but have patience her channel is amazing i got fed up with all the same bs each time ppl talk about self development i find cole and muchelleb the best right now

I can honestly say you develop your personality when you take time to find yourself , when you socialize more ,and surround yourself with people who like you for who you are when you’re genuine and real, and the things you’re passionate about are a big factor

@Yusa_Beach

9 ай бұрын

Key points, but imo the main factor is spending time with yourself, doing what you like to do and exposing yourself to all things so that they may develop within yourself.

Having “no personality” is a personality. Don’t fall into this lexical/conceptual trap. Spend time accepting and loving yourselves. Before you know it you’ll either create or find your way into an environment where your “personality” will be valued and allowed to shine.

@MgelikaXevi

Жыл бұрын

you mean, "eventually someone gonna call a boring dude\girl who has no passions and no topics to talk about - interesting"? There are people who are actually empty, and then there are people who just fail to express themselves. There is a chance for the second group (and somebody who has time for them -could discover their hidden passions) , but the first one will not be "valued" and will not shine.

@jamesmkbn

Жыл бұрын

@@MgelikaXevi what do you mean by empty? Assuming you equate emptiness to lack of hobbies/areas of interest, I don’t believe any human being has the capacity to “become empty”. Some people may seem to like that but it’s usually because they lack insight into themselves and/or the world around them.

@Grandmaster-Kush

Жыл бұрын

@@MgelikaXevi I doubt any self proclaimed personalityless person is as such, the only way to become like that is through severe trauma or mental health issues. People who never found their passion or learned to express themselves can do so later in life, they will always be boring or in the background but by no means empty or void of value.

@anasebrahim3382

Жыл бұрын

@@MgelikaXevi I don’t think some people are just empty. Every human has a personality. The supposed people we find that are empty on the inside just have their personality covered by a hard shell and when they follow the first tip in the video they will eventually slowly uncover their personality, like a locked character in a rpg game. Also the main comment’s first line is bogus. Every human’s experiences, beliefs, environment, insight shape their personality. A human having no personality is impossible. If someone says you have no personality either you haven’t opened up your own personality, or you haven’t expressed it properly(both are covered in the video) OR the person who said that doesn’t value your personality, if that’s the case you have to find a new person who values your personality more(this is also covered in the video but just briefly)

@jamesmkbn

Жыл бұрын

@@anasebrahim3382 how is the first line of my comment bogus? I literally implied what you just said now in that very first line I wrote.

Totally nailed it talking about how you have to take an interest you have and work on increasing your skills around that thing. Like when I play/make music. Learning music software is super frustrating. But my enjoyment in making my own music drives me to keep learning what I need to get better. That’s how passions are born

@ColeHastings

2 жыл бұрын

Great explanation

@wooyaa8152

2 жыл бұрын

Nothing quite like trying to get your cpu to take putting 152 serums in ableton

@euvoric

2 жыл бұрын

i also have gotten skilled at learning music software but my pure enjoyment of creating keeps me going

@goopbrain8919

2 жыл бұрын

I've been playing the guitar for the last 8 months and I look at the instrument more like a keyboard. Visualizing the scales and chords on the fretboard. It's gotten me far quickly but I've also wanted to dabble with some software, do you have any recommendations? Free or paid

@gael44444

2 жыл бұрын

@@wooyaa8152 why would you ever need that many serums

Everyone has a personality. There's no such thing as having less or more of a personality. People are just how they are

@nKarje

2 жыл бұрын

It's a figure of speech. By saying someone has no personality, it means they are boring/uninteresting. Obviously everyone has a personality.

@nKarje

2 жыл бұрын

@@SimpxSlayer-Police Who are you talking to?

@SimpxSlayer-Police

2 жыл бұрын

@@nKarje People should respect how other people go about their lives. Dont be toxic and negative to others for being too serious or acting a way you dont like. My bad I erased the name i replied. But its a rude figure of speech

@noeyedgirl

2 жыл бұрын

But you can have a "weak" personality. One that's not very intensely expressive. It's possible to alter your personality to an extent, to become more socially pleasant or exciting.

@simeonstefanov8511

2 жыл бұрын

i am not sure about that. i can say certainly that some people are basically an npcs i mean they cant be real people they are that boring

"you don't find your passion, you make your passion", this hits me really deep

I think one of the biggest problems in the modern social construct is the negative associations with certain passions. For example being into Magic the Gathering makes you a dork, bodybuilding makes you egotistical, and playing the trumpet is weird. It’s difficult to wear you passion if 90% of people will make negative assumptions. I feel that the lack of positive reinforcement is the reason a lot of people quit. Support ur friends guys.

@mr.pigeons1066

8 ай бұрын

what is Magic the Gathering

@mattkugelman4369

7 ай бұрын

@@mr.pigeons1066it’s a card game

@trolleriffic

5 ай бұрын

@@mr.pigeons1066 It's a card game that turns you into a dork and consumes all your money.

@crumbopulis

5 ай бұрын

You could have saved ourself the paragraph if you realized that not one person on this planet gives a single shit about what you do. Scratch friends and family, but we can’t choose our family and no friend will shit on you for your random bs

@violetsapph1

5 ай бұрын

Really well said! Though I also think that some of the lack of positive reinforcement comes from within. If you were good at something, upped your league and then realize you’re now mediocre, you may lose passion or interest. There’s also the motivation from “proving people wrong” but that’s boring. I think keeping a childlike sense of wonder, excitement, and optimism about your potential can lead you to eliteness in a hobby, even if you never actually had any talent to begin with

If someone says "you got no personality" even after you tell a compelling and emotional story like some of the best orators and comedians, then they think height and genetics = personality. But, that's okay because the universe opened a door to another better friendship to embrace.

@noah1st2everdoit

2 жыл бұрын

don’t lie to yourself, it’s unlikely someone will say you have no personality just because your short or ugly, you have to be more positive and give off good vibes if you want to be liked.

@eatthetree348

2 жыл бұрын

what the fuck did i just read

@Yusa_Beach

2 жыл бұрын

@@eatthetree348 Some part of a truth.

@zangetsu1597

2 жыл бұрын

@@noah1st2everdoit That's the problem with many young people these days. Caring too much about being liked as opposed to just being themselves and being comfortable with that. I'm 24 and all of the friends I made growing up were by me just being myself. I'm introverted and quiet, but when I hear a conversation that interests I hop in regardless of whether I've been invited or not. Sometimes I come out of it with an acquaintance turned friend. I feel this whole "going into situations with a format of 'how to be liked' is so backwards and just causes more unnecessary stress in the long-run." To be liked should be akin to not trying. End of story.

@Fr0zenPeanut

2 жыл бұрын

@@zangetsu1597 Oh how I wish I could just be myself and feel comfortable with that, but I'm afraid that will never be an option for me. I'm gay and I live in a homophobic shithole in southeast Europe. I've spent most of my life hating myself and wishing I could just disappear; I don't have any friends or relationships and I know most of my family would shun me if they found out.

Having a passion will strengthen your opinions on that which u like and having opinions will help express your personality. But having passion isn’t necessarily having a personality A personality is a bunch of reactions of a specific person. You can predict how someone reacts to things based on their personality. If someone is generally angry and reacts angrily,you may not want to joke around him. Some people are calm and that is their personality,they may not say anything but that’s how they chose to react Nonereaction is still reacting because you chose to say nothing rather than create more drama to whatever situation You can change someone’s personality by telling them to be more outgoing less reserved but I don’t believe in not having a personality at all. Being calm reserved and less outgoing is not a bad personality or a lack of it but it might become a weakness if you need to express yourself for a job or whatever. Telling people to change personality may be a double edge sword if they feel inadequate for being what they are,they might force unpleasant cringy interaction to try please others. I don’t believe in changing personality but just improving what’s already there,maybe you can interact to situations better while keeping your authenticity,having a better vocabulary and choosing the right wording can help express yourself better in more ways that suits you

@mario125ww

2 жыл бұрын

I see your pov but I disagree. Personality has been proven to change over time. For example, only 20% of people are shy genetically meaning that most people who are shy do so because of environment. Same thing with introversion and extroversion. Judging people based off of stats is ironically just as bad as telling people to be change who than are. People change over time. I for one have changed by personality at least twice. As a kid I was super outgoing and hot headed, then I became shy and calm now i went back to being hot heated and outgoing.

@elvararchfeld9734

2 жыл бұрын

yes, one's personality changing is most definitely possible, hence character development. I myself for example used to be a pseudo intellectual, but i have changed much over the years. It's just that telling someone to 'change their personality' would simply be a silly thing to do and if someone tries to _force_ themselves to be something that they're _not,_ that wouldn't be true change. Or, y'know.. As they say, fake it till you make it. 😆 I mean damn, there was even one guy going on about how you can reach higher levels of consciousness, and once you reach the highest level, you can just at will reprogram yourself to have whatever personality, personality traits, mannerisms and behaviorisms you wish, but that's a different topic entirely. Everything else you said was spot on.

@elvararchfeld9734

2 жыл бұрын

Everything i just said is irrelevant because of this, lol... To quote myself: "I think the main issue here really is that we're using different definitions of the word 'personality' and i don't mean personal definitions: 3: "habitual patterns and qualities of behavior of any individual as expressed by physical and mental activities and attitudes; distinctive individual qualities." 4: "a) the sum of such qualities seen as being capable of making, or likely to make, a favorable impression on other people. b) [colloq.] Personal attractiveness; engaging manner or qualities.""

@michaelatorn8380

2 жыл бұрын

having a passion will increase doubt, the more you learn, the more you realize you know nothing.

@FDE-fw1hd

2 жыл бұрын

I feel like personality is more how you think than what you do

"Tú no encuentras tu pasión. Tú haces tu pasión" No sabes lo mucho que mejorará mi vida eso.

It’s not the fact that they don’t have a personality, it’s the fact that their afraid to show it.

@SL-wt8fm

Жыл бұрын

True

I'm in such a gridlocked situation. I remember getting mocked or outright bullied for expressing passion about things ("Shut up, nobody cares!"), so I told myself to bottle up and talk about safe, external things only. That led to me not becoming passionate about anything and shying away from delving deep into interests. Now I struggle with self-consciousness and perfectionism because I imagine one awkward or off-color statement gets me labeled as The Weirdo and I DO NOT want to be The Weirdo. Videos like this and intense therapy are helping melt the ice a bit but man am I in deep.

@dorianhardy8239

2 жыл бұрын

Hey, you story hit me. I know how it can be tough to try to fit in, etc. I'd advice you to start practicing meditation regularly and seriously. It's very likely that it'll change your life. There are several other things you can do, of course. You could cure your phone addiction or start doing what Cole says in this video. Meditation seems to be the key to freedom, success and happiness. Don't give up on self improvement if you are on. Keep pushing through struggles. I can't tell you it's not going to be easy to do all the things you know you should do but that you don't do, but I can tell you this: it will be worth the sacrifice. (I think you can be stuck in self improvement, in some way, that's why I'm saying this. All love.) Wish you the best👊❤️

@RajMGandhi

2 жыл бұрын

Wtf... Nailed it perfectly... I am not interested in anything anymore.. And the stuff my livelihood depends on is boring af. Massive crisis have to distract myself as much as possible with drinking and stuff...

@zegmakker5869

Жыл бұрын

best not to engage with shallow people like that, they suck all the life and intelligence out of any conversation they participate in

@MgelikaXevi

Жыл бұрын

The opposite part of your personality - are the people around (coz, there is no "personality" in a vacuum where nothing happens) . So first you develop yourself, then you change the environment, then new environments changes you more, etc. Otherwise you gonna be shaped according to that initial social circle (thanks God if it is a good circle with plenty of decent people, but it could be the other way). If you doing something meaningful, but people around are indifferent - then try to establish connection to another group of ppl. When I was into martial arts - i did not tried to tell everyone about it, I talked to my buddies from our club. When I got into programming - i wasn`t trying to give passionate speeches about programming to random dudes\girls from previous circle - i was networking with people who had an idea what i am doing. I assume that at one point i might become passionate enough to spark an interest in someone who has nothing to do with programming, but it is not my concern right now. When it comes - it comes. Now I am on "normal difficulty" talking to people who are interested in similar topics, while I am becoming professional in my field. If I start to be everything at once, and then meet a bored looks of ppl who never heard of programming - it might damage my ability to progress on this path. So for now I am on "passion developing", not on the story teller part.

@travis3430

Жыл бұрын

Whoever mocked you, doesn't respect you... therefore cut them out of your life if you are able to or as soon as you're able to. That's what I've done to ppl as much as I can to the ppl I know don't respect me for being myself

You and I were the same in high school I wasn’t interesting at all and whenever I was with my friends they always knew a lot of people and I didn’t ,I was always the guy that’s was just there and not noticed . I’m 23 and I’m still like this so I need to create my passion as well and work on my confidence to communicate with people more . Great video Cole

@BryMakesArt

2 жыл бұрын

I believe in you. Take baby steps every day to improve and you'll feel better sooner than later!

@Mecca188

2 жыл бұрын

@@BryMakesArt thanks man ✊🏿💯

@misstrunchbull3953

2 жыл бұрын

Right there with you bud

@thekaran7683

2 жыл бұрын

that's literally me rn and I'm 15

@thokozanikwinda1513

2 жыл бұрын

you're not alone bro. we're literally the same

This has to be the best personality self improvement video I've watched. Actually makes sense and is to the point

Great video! This connected a lot of dots in life for me. I’ve never felt short on personality, but storytelling has been a weak point in my life. That contrast can sometimes leave me feeling like I’d be better off not even TRYING to tap into my identity. Storytelling is a universal skill that everybody should have if they want to deepen their ability to reflect, connect with people, and just breathe more excitement out into the world. Love it

I always loved drawing cars but I kind of stopped drawing in my early 20's because I didn't think I was talented enough. It took me at least 10 years to get back to it, and thanks to instagram I have seen super talented guys and their drawings. I told myself that I could do the same or even better if I practiced a lot. Now 8 years and 200+ drawings later I teach people how I draw cars, and they pay for my knowledge. I finally see (at age 39) what I want to do every day.

@rasheemthebestfirstone3274

2 жыл бұрын

Damn 💪🏽👏🏽

@j.6267

2 жыл бұрын

Thats beautiful.

@hanarielgodlike9283

2 жыл бұрын

As a fellow artist i saw your work and my jaw droped LOL Dude your cars are amazing. Have you tought about doing a voice over tutorial? XD

@CarDrawingsByErik

2 жыл бұрын

@@hanarielgodlike9283 thanks. I'm doing those videos for my Patreon already 😎

@orangecat9559

2 жыл бұрын

holy shit your drawings are impressive

1. Build passion and skills. - Explore things - Get Deep into things so that you can talk about them as long as you like 2. Learn to tell a story - learn from the experts by observing them (Comedians, speaker etc) - Read fiction to enhance your vocabulary

@gauravdeep

2 жыл бұрын

Also try to engage with people, social interaction will develop your story telling skills.

@ales3880

6 ай бұрын

yeah, that works on people which are also interactive and have good questions and same humour, otherwise there is no chance for me. I have to have my tribe to really match and show my personality, but thats for everyone who is honest and dont put mask i think

@gauravdeep

6 ай бұрын

@@ales3880 Not everyone needs to see your personality you know, especially the people you don't vibe with. So, it's good as long as you know you have a personality to share with the people you care about and actually want to hang out with.

@user-gp8zo7rp7x

5 ай бұрын

ok, but why? lmao

@gauravdeep

5 ай бұрын

@@user-gp8zo7rp7x So that when you grow old you don't end up being an alone, miserable and grumpy man and people starts cutting you off.

If you think someone is boring, you’re toxic. People are people, different people different opinions. Different people different hobbies. Jus like compare and contrast, there’s no compare and compare or contrast and contrast

I’ve come to the realization that us as people love storytelling. Whether it’s simply gossiping, watching shows, movies, music, etc, they’re all stories.

i feel like personality is more about how you respond and interact in a conversation - I find that being as genuine and honest as possible in your responses and asking questions you are actually curious about lead to conversations where you can express your inner feelings better. I have been told by others that I am a quite a character, but I feel like only 20% of my conversations are about my passions.

@asafoetidajones8181

Жыл бұрын

I've met interesting, thoughtful people with no hobbies and a general omnivorous and indistinct content diet, and unusual looking people witn dozens of hobbies and the personality of cottage cheese

I think reading fiction books was the best thing that helped me develop my humor and good storytelling, I'm glad you included that!

@agoogleuseranonymous2658

Жыл бұрын

For women honestly this video is almost pointless. They don't need any of that.

@felyortiz6

Жыл бұрын

what types of books would you recommend

@tundeuk

Жыл бұрын

@@agoogleuseranonymous2658 They do if they want to catch Chad or Tyrone.

@MrEysox

Жыл бұрын

How does reading fiction books help you develop your humor ?

@agoogleuseranonymous2658

Жыл бұрын

@@felyortiz6 Don't ever take a woman's advice on that honestly. Go check out some what the pickup artists have to say. Always listen to the fisherman ... never the fish.

I had pretty much no personality in high school either. Very much a fly on the wall kinda person. But when things would need someone to step in or volunteer, i’d always offer a hand. Cole, much like you, I had a cord hitting experience except mine was the girl telling me “You don’t matter. People like you never matter.” Man that set me off. But looking back, that was the best thing that happened. It was the push we all need but don’t like.

I love the genuineness you pour in your videos.

Hey Cole Hastings, I'm 14 Years old And i'm from indonesia i just wanna tell you that. You're changed my life, now i creating good habits, stop fitting in and stop caring what others thinking about me. Now i love doing what i love, like i apologized to my parents what i done to them and now i live harmony with them. Also i stop fit in and now i have 4 true friends, i walk in nature, enjoying view. I just wanna say thank you for changing for my life and sorry for bad english. Edit 26 june : i mean i stop try to fitting in if i dont fit, i fit people that if they want to fit me. And surround yourself who get you, dont forget the biggest happiness is having a deep connection relationship to others (friend,girlfriend,family)

@ColeHastings

2 жыл бұрын

Love to hear i helped. You are the one that put in the work though, you should be proud

@rifkywageyo477

2 жыл бұрын

@@ColeHastings Yessir, Keep the good work man!

@ateeqroomy8415

2 жыл бұрын

The fact that you're 14 and already smart enough and working on yourself is great man!!! I'm 17 and I'm trying my best too. I hope you get to wherever you want to be!

@pragyankakati3092

Жыл бұрын

You are so sweet...at 14 i was literally a weird kid..i'm still a weird person..but as i'm 18 i'm a weird adult now...lol doesn't it feel awesome when we behave/react how we wanna behave/react without thinking a lot

@Windermed

Жыл бұрын

as someone who's 16, seeing your comment is inspiring to me as someone who wants to change and stop caring about what others think. i'm really glad his videos helped you, and hopefully i, too can put in the work to make my life better for myself.

I have no personality to the point where I steal other ppls personality’s. Their laugh, their voice. It’s weird

@creeperkingdom3190

2 жыл бұрын

same

@hosnemir3201

2 жыл бұрын

Borderline Personality Disorder???

@uatcgfhdhu

2 жыл бұрын

I just took the "Take a little of all the things you like to make your own style" drawing advice, and use it to make a personality. Didn't work, now i'm a mess of random stuff.

@Alex25.

8 ай бұрын

that s a good thing,people think "copying other people" is bad and that authenticy is all that matter but if you try to copy someone you find confident around people,you can t fully copy them,at this point it s your own style of doing that,so it s wrong to say you re copying them.

@Alex25.

8 ай бұрын

​@@uatcgfhdhuit should be "take all the good things from people around you"

Hi. I stumbled upon your channel just because I have been self reflecting. Your content is high quality and very helpful. It's relatable and it's just what I needed. Thank you

I totally agree with you. I was working and studying my whole life but nothing of what I did filled me up till i started doing community service and speaking up about RESOLVING issues in my community.

Speaking about "Developing a Passion" "So Good They Can't Ignore You", a book by Cal Newport. He goes in depth about it.

Great video & great storytelling Cole. It’s important to remember your passions are YOURS and you don’t need to worry about what other people will say about them. Dive in & go deep. Thanks again Cole appreciate what you do bro 🙏🏽

Guys If someone thinks you are "boring" just ignore them it is not worth trying to suit others expectations, behave the way you are find comfortable for you.

@Ihave10billionsubs

5 ай бұрын

Bingo. This stupid video is basically just trying to teach people to conform, though not saying it explicitly.

This might be the best self-improvement video on youtube. Thank you so much, Cole. I hope you become more successful in your life. I will definitely watch this video, again.

I appreciate your thought process in selecting ideas for videos which aren’t covered by the mainstream and also the fact that you give out advice that we can put into action right away. I’ve watched a lot of your videos and your uniqueness really strikes out

For me I didn't have much of a personality at first after high school (Fell into a depression for 3 years) till I decided to in my free time start writing stories just so I won't be cooped up only playing videogames and watching anime. I wasn't good at it at all but I felt a little spark about it and practiced it every so often. What sparked it in the beginning was my love for all the stories from American Cartoons (Avatar last air bender and samurai jack), Anime and manga (FMA:B, Afro Samurai, and berserk) and from videogames (Legacy of Kain, The humorous and fun writing of the ratchet and clank series, Bioshock, Jack 2 and 3, etc...) and not to mention LOTR trilogy movie. It wasn't me just loving them as is but the writing and world building in it that really put a smile on my face and made me go "Know what? maybe I should write something of my own." and then bam I've been doing it ever since and practicing on my skills. It's literally the one thing I do every time I get my breaks during hours work. I will literally talk for HOURS on end about writing and worldbuilding and referencing all the great stories I loved in my childhood as proof. Thing is I hated reading and writing during school and always had sub par grades on it (Getting C's and D's mostly) but coming back to it and learning on my own terms I've loved it so much.

@anthonynguyen1289

2 жыл бұрын

Gosh this video and comment are what I needed right now. I’ve always had some kind of small interest in story telling, but I despised writing in school and just came to a conclusion that I wouldn’t be a good writer. I definitely think I should try writing now especially since I’m in that depressive episode of college

@sentinelprime5728

5 ай бұрын

I think I may start to write my own stories too

@boratsagdiyev522

5 ай бұрын

​@@sentinelprime5728I like to smoke weed, write about that

this video helped me so much and opened my mind on understanding exactly where i was stuck at. i can’t wait to continue forward with my passions to better my storytelling as well

MAN THE WAY YOU TELL STORY IS AMAIZING

@soioioioioioio34

Ай бұрын

Nah he sucks f him

about the passion thing, i partly disagree. Passion can be something you find, it depends on your underlying personality traits. If you are familiar with the big 5 personality traits, you know the trait openness is associated with creativity. And that creativity is often something you don't control, as it generates its own ideas, and finding those ideas is a part of finding ones passion. But even then, when you find it you may not initially be that passionate about it, as i agree that passion is something you build over time. I discovered that through doing many different creative things, and even getting quite good at some, but always running into a wall because my head just wasn't generating ideas which is crucial for creating new things, and putting so much time into a hobby which isn't satisfying your creative need when you are a creative is soul-draining. So if you are creative, or just generally get a lot of ideas and have a tendency to daydream, try to listen to those ideas. It is a monster you can't control. If you are less creative, I'm not sure. I can guess that as long as it interests you, you can develop some sort of passion for it.

@TheSheepster

2 жыл бұрын

Yeah! Listen to the ideas, then you can create stuff from them! Passion is something you find AND create further.

@paul3734

2 жыл бұрын

If you personally lack the creative element, there is nothing stopping you from sourcing ideas from others, putting your own spin on them and cumulatively building your experience to open the door to more creative ideas.

Great video Cole ! recently just found your channel, and it's truly a gem for any men out there.

@zangetsu1597

2 жыл бұрын

Think this should apply to anyone tbh.

@chiemxerxobi

2 жыл бұрын

@@zangetsu1597 there's something here that relates specifically to men. Often a lot of our perceived value comes from our personality, while girls can go by with their looks.

@myyuhhhe7543

2 жыл бұрын

You are not serious. 🫤

@mede201

2 жыл бұрын

@@chiemxerxobi yeah but not every girl is beautiful, so they also have to develop a personality

@snoopy4554

2 жыл бұрын

​@@chiemxerxobi i'd say it's not the personality but what he has achieved instead

Holy shit, that really means a lot. Choosing your passion made it all click for me. I've been stuck with my self help because I don't have anything I'm dedicated towards. For the past 7 years or so I've been worried about my ability to choose what i want to do for life. But, what I realize now... is it's all about just choosing something and running with it. Your brain will enjoy it on its own.

great video. And the part about passion was super precise. People wait till they get struck by "passion lightning" without realizing, that it is super rare occurrence. Most passions for 95% of people - are developed through skills and professionalism. It is very rare that you get a passion just out of blue sky, just by looking once at something. And even if it looks fun - you have a long road to go, till you become competent enough to express that passion. Otherwise it is just stays on the level like "yeah, I observed it, seemed pretty cool, but no, i have no idea how it works" ..

The thing about storytelling is that when someone pressures me to come up with a story I don't have one but I can tell one if it comes up naturally during conversation. It's like when someone just straight up asks me a question I need time to think about it which is rare during conversation. I can type out a story easily because I have time to think but in the heat of the moment I don't have time to think so I don't have the right words right away. It's why I'm not good at job interviews. But given the right context like someone telling me a story I can tell a story about when something similar happened to me. It's just the guidance I need to keep the conversation going. Instead of relying on someone else to come up with a story off the top of their head maybe try to guide them with your own example. People expect too much of others to carry the conversation and just dismiss them as having "no personality" if they aren't interesting right away. Perhaps it's your fault, maybe you didn't engage on their level to help guide them towards an interesting conversation to let their personality shine. Everyone has a personality, if someone seems like they don't have one it's because you don't know them well enough.

@urphakeandgey6308

5 ай бұрын

My easy way out: "I can't think of anything off the top of my head. Do you have an example?" Best case scenario, their story reminds you of something. Worse case, you just have to talk about their story a bunch to keep the conversation going. Nightmare scenario would be if they don't have an example, but at that point, I'm sure they're feeling pretty awkward themselves.

Opposite issue, I have a personality but people are assholes to me. I’ve learned to be myself in the best way, and I can be pretty goofy. I’m not overly annoying, but people continue to be assholes to me

@vicki11edbycuriousity

2 жыл бұрын

F them. You sound fun to be around in my book.

@LorettaBangBang

2 жыл бұрын

Find better people

@macewindu6853

2 жыл бұрын

@@LorettaBangBang I do, they always find me

@thomasffrench3639

2 жыл бұрын

Hey man, seems you are living your best life. Next time people are assholes just say “take a seat, Skywalker”

@donanderson3520

Жыл бұрын

Tell them to fuck off

this video randomly came up in the algorithm, great content i didnt know i needed. SUBSCRIBED

Thank you so much for making this video, I almost teared up at the end lol. Self Improvement has been something that I also have been working hard to get a part of and I always think that's it's better to try and fail and have progress than to actually not try at all. Life is short, make it unique and worthwhile in your way.🤘

you’ve come so far, and i must say, you’ve easily shown us that! i appreciate this video so much, it has taught me a lot. thank you always, Cole. :)

Man my interests have been a huge hindrance in life. While I enjoy reading literature, philosophy, history playing the guitar, going on hiking or cycling trips, my acquaintances are just into football and gambling. Throw in an occasional NETFLIX series, and that's it. You've completed a circumference of their mental sphere, explored every inch of their intellectual territory. As Orwell observed almost a century ago, people tend to lose their individuality after the age of 30, and voluntarily submerge their noblest faculties into whatever fad seems to appeal to the herd at any given time period. Standing out like the proverbial injured thumb will admittedly get you attention, but not *necessarily* the kind that you crave.

thank you for the storytelling advice man. I've always had issues communicating my experiences because I never actually learned how to tell a inticing story. I started a google doc where I'm going to write little mini stories about my day. I'll definitely start reading more fiction too. Thank you for this video!

I've been binge watching all your videos.. seriously you are such an intelligent person. You've used all the things you have experienced in life to help others.. and I think that's amazing. Thank you for all of your videos. Every time I watch one, I immediately feel so positive.

I love all your videos bro, I lost my older brother when I was 13 and you give me the advice I think he would’ve if he was still here. Much love man, keep up the great work

@jah_sama5624

2 жыл бұрын

hope you're doing well.

@ColeHastings

2 жыл бұрын

Much love, im sure your brother would be very proud of you

@homesickmadeit

2 жыл бұрын

@@ColeHastings Thank you man, I appreciate it

@mrgreenboy644

Жыл бұрын

May your brother rest in peace.

I live with my dad and have never made a joke or expressed myself around him. Any time I get excited or take more than a couple sentences to say something he shuts me down immediately. When I'm with my mom or sister I have no problems with my personality, but I feel like it is an automatic reflex to not even smile around my dad

@MaseraSteve

Жыл бұрын

Well unfortunately i have 2 family member with same attitude and 0 supportive members, i got massive impostor syndrome i literally doubt myself what about you?

@Merlinfoop

Жыл бұрын

this is relatable. around my father I cannot express myself without him making some unsupportive comment.

I'm going through a rough breakup of 4.5 years and am searching for myself. I realize I have no personality and my hobbies/interests are basically watching TV (especially since covid). I too am an introvert but will really keep these steps in mind to develop a passion and become a better storyteller.

Much love Cole! Certain pieces of your content have been exactly what I needed to hear, and your delivery is spot on. Your willingness to call BS on common practices that don't work is refreshing.

I appreciate your videos, they are always helpful and insightful. I have been trying to slowly but surely improve myself and the fact that you give out actual things you can do to help achieve these things are monumentally helpful as other videos don't actually go through the steps which might be the most important step towards actual improvement. I am 27 and I have felt I don't have a personality, but how you broke it down as part having a interest in something you are passionate about and being a good story teller is something that never occurred to me, I just kept telling myself I am just not that personable. I have l anxiety and is difficult for me to approach someone with a subject that isn't video games, illustration, or religion and even then I struggle trying to keep a conversation going about those topics as I feel like I have exhausted what the other person might found interesting about my interests. I make a friend and then after a few conversations I feel I have drained the well of topics that might come up organically without me bringing them up. I think the skill I am lacking is being a good story teller like you pointed out. I can't seem to structure why I have my interests and why I enjoy them in appealing ways to others so that they can see why I love what I love. I will try to follow your recommendations and try to become a better storyteller and pay closer attention to conversations of people I deem good story tellers. Thanks Cole!

I like the unusualness in the material structure, you really captured my interest. Well done!

Now this is what you call "Self improvement video", hats off dude ,got to learn so much.

This resonates very well with my line of thinking and experiences. I have most likely often been seen as that boring person just blending in, but has no real interests and so on. When I was younger I thought I was just unlucky to not have found any real passion, like the self-help books and gurus speak of. Only in recent years I have begun to understand that "finding your passion" is not a passive process, where you suddenly realize "This is my passion". You have to make a real effort yourself to to get better at things, try to see the beauty in things, try to see nuances. If you are just bored about life and everything, this is not the real world being boring, it is your perception of it and you can change that. Almost anything can become intersting if you give it a chance and actually try to experience it and the inner beauty of it. Use your curiosity to drive you forward. To be bored is often the same as not paying enough attention. This video felt really accurate and honest, so you have one more subscriber now :)

I truly needed this video after spending 4 semesters at uni, studying a topic I am not passionate about. My lacking passion affected my social skills and mental health, giving me deep feelings of inadequacy. I'm now opting out of uni, taking my power back, and I'm going to try finding new ways to spend time on stuff I actually love. Thanks for making this type of content.

@splinterborn

2 жыл бұрын

Same for alot of people. Stumbling round in the dark.

@liamcraddock9539

Жыл бұрын

Damn a lot of that describes me and I've just stumbled to the end of second year... I don't seem to have done very well. I don't know what to do.

@jonathanglover7999

Жыл бұрын

@@liamcraddock9539 Personally I've just now dropped out of university. I also got to the end of my second year. It has taken me a long time to find out what to do instead. I ended up deciding to find a job and save up money to go to a non formal school where I can learn about sustainable living, permaculture and nature which are the things that I truly love. Just wanted to share that and to encourage you to find a path that suits your passions and interests.

@TheGintama86

Жыл бұрын

@@jonathanglover7999 hows that going to make u money thou?

@sentinelprime5728

5 ай бұрын

​@@TheGintama86😂

Dude, that was sick! Great video. Congrats!

thank you so much cole, I'm 18 and this video confirmed my thoughts and progress ive already made. I love this sort of content, i write down every important word try it, practice it and improve. keep it up.

Wow man, this is really one of the best videos you made. Amazing storytelling, so great that I wasn't having any other thought in my mind other than the story... keep going like this bro

Cole, I just stumbled upon your channel and have found what you talk about all so informative and true to how I view the world. I’m currently struggling to improve my social skills and grow out of being a chronic introvert, and your videos have been incredibly inspiring. Thank you so much for doing what you do. 👊❤️

i found this video randomly. i am not even subscriber of this channel.but this man just got a core and centred reason i was looking for. thanks bro. i want and wish your all need be fulfilled becze your video drastically changed my life. thanks again. .

Dude this video flipped a switch in my head today. Thank you so much!

Wow, that was really one of the best and most useful videos you ever made! I agree so much with creating one's passion and also realized that I missed out on developing my story telling skills.

This type of stuff pains me, like i do truly want to better myself, and someday i will utilize this advice after i have my current focuses down, but it seems like for so many things i need to put forward an extraordinary amount of time and effort to even approach how normal people are. It seems like I'm just so far behind so many others socially it just hurts.

@Pointlessuser222

2 жыл бұрын

I’m the same too your not alone 😞

@sirumugaivijayalakshmi7181

2 жыл бұрын

Same bro

@Void-qz1zd

Жыл бұрын

Same. Doesn't make any sense to me.

@MrEysox

Жыл бұрын

I get what you mean, but that's actually a reason to work even harder ! You will be proud once you will see how far you've come

@kamodo2299

Жыл бұрын

@@MrEysox Thanks man! I sure hope so, it seems like a goal that is always 6 months away, but I just need to trust the process

this is the video i needed bro.l i've recently been super focused on school (highschool) and realized that the reason why I don't know who I am is because I have no passions, nothing to make me interesting. I'm really glad that I live in a period of time where people online make videos like these for guidance. thx

actually , you're an artist ,OMG the way you edit this video and the storytelling part is just unique !!

Great video Cole, very inspiring. And just in time as I am preparing for a deep dive into a social skills improvement plan. I will bookmark this video for future reference.

I completely agree on much of this. I'm a full on advocate of self improvement, I've been steadily working at this.

Everything I needed to hear was in this video. It’s as though this video was made just for me at this exact moment in my life. Thanks man

Great way of explaining, one of the best I've seen on KZread

“Unlike most people who watch self improvement videos” You nailed the comedy there😂

Love your storytelling!!! I would also like to thank you for changing my life

I am having the exact same problem as described where I find it very hard to articulate things and get/say things on the spot when I am around strangers. I am much better with the people that I know. Thanks for making this video.

This hits very close to home. Thank you for this video

As an aspiring KZreadr this video has been extremely helpful. I've noticed that some of my video ideas have good potential but I always seem to struggle with the execution and storytelling aspect. I'll start practicing more so I can level up my game and hopefully start seeing better results in my future endeavours. Thanks again for making this video Cole!

Maaan, the best thing after coming home from work is the notification from your channel 💪💪

@ColeHastings

2 жыл бұрын

I really appreciate that!

Man, this is such a good video. I’ve never had such a good guide for this sort of thing. Thank you for sharing! Also, go Bills!

Cole, I love your videos because you're one of the only guys who can talk about a very specific experience in sophomore year of high school and remain holding my attention. Bravo!

This is insane,I’m a sophomore right now and I started watching this video right before the bell rang for English class,You literally explained my life,I feel like I’m multiple different people and it’s so hard and awkward for me to connect with other people,there is a reason I found this video,hopefully it help because I feel like a ghost,we would literally have a group project and I would be the only one not doing it even if I try to talk to people it still doesn’t work,no one ever remembers me or wants to talk to me and am also really love playing video games. After fully watching this video I feel like I’m not alone but it all still seams way to complicated and I still feel down like it’s not gonna work out for me,amazing content though your so lucky thanks for posting this.

@zacharynguyen7286

4 ай бұрын

Hope you are doing good and staying safe ❤

@harriswone4215

4 ай бұрын

@@zacharynguyen7286 thanks it means a lot I hope you stay safe too,God bless❤️

I was listening to this video at work with earphones and googled who Cole Hastings is. A lot of pictures of a guy without wearing a shirt were popping up. I quickly closed the tab. When I turned around, my colleagues were standing there starring at me in a judging way. :D Regardless, your advice is great.

@1life0gods

2 жыл бұрын

🤣

@87alock

Жыл бұрын

Lol

Wow, that was awesome, i don''t know how this video appeared in my timeline, but totally worth my time. Thanks!

Your voice and tone = *CHEFS KISS* Perfecto for this video 👏🏽

I love your channel man, these tips are actually useful and unlike other channels. Keep the good work !!

Cole, how do your story telling skills get utilized in your video creation process? Do you actually write out full scripts of your videos word by word or have you leveled up your story telling to the point where you can just follow a thread of chronological bullet points and talk freely off the top?

@ColeHastings

2 жыл бұрын

I write full scripts word by word. Sometimes theres some improv

@suu964

2 жыл бұрын

@@ColeHastings it shows , your words are so eloquent

This is really some high quality content, no hidden agendas here this man is genuinely out here giving his 2 cents just trying to help people through dwelling on his past experiences. To all other content creators out there... THIS IS THE BLUEPRINT. Take notes.

thank you so much for making this video! This truely helps me out a LOT!

I related to this video more than any other video you've made. Great job.

Cole, I still remember the video when you first moved to Austin and asked the guy in the slackline group how to develop charisma. You obviously have done a lot of research since then! I'm proud of how far you've come as a creator. And about storytelling: there's a reason why Drake just signed a massive deal with UMG. Love him or hate him, he's one of the best storytellers in the game. And to be at his level takes a lot of personality and conviction in the words that are spoken.

every video i see of yours just makes my days better and better

That was beautiful, it was honestly an enjoyable watch.

It's crazy how often I can relate to this guy's videos

@Mecca188

2 жыл бұрын

Same it’s like we lived the same life

One of my favorite things about homeschooling: you can develop your talents. I love to learn about animals and mental illnesses. And having a topic where you just can go on and on about and have someone listen, is the greatest feeling.

from several videos i've watched about self improvement that one was really good and impressive. I never watched a video like this, really awesome 👏👏

This is so true! A few years ago a friend of mine said something to me that will probably never leave my mind completely and that thing was: "There is nothing more beautiful than seeing your eyes light up when you talk about something you are really passionate about." And I wholeheartedly agree. This is also why I am less and less worried about "boring" others with talk about my hobbies at work or when going out, etc. At least so far I've never had somebody react negatively when I gushed about drawing or 40K for instance. You worry they might but usually, at least in my case, this is all in your head.