Join the Greece Group Trip!: linktr.ee/nuancehoe 🤝 DONATE VIA DONORBOX! donorbox.org/thanks-for-the-amazing-content-carah-let-me-help-you-keep-it-funded 👩‍💻 Join the Hoetown community on Patreon: www.patreon.com/nuancehoe 🍯 Tip Jar (Venmo: CarahB): account.venmo.com/u/CarahB

@bl3343

Ай бұрын

You know the phrase "Simpsons did it first"? Zelph did it first.

I was raised Mormon..... The culture about sex is that it's for married couples, didn't have premarital sex. With the purity culture-I've went through so much inner turmoil. SA'd as a child-by family friend & a family member. So that caused me so much inner turmoil. I've had & continue to have so much turmoil around sex! I also had the fact that my parents were divorced-my mom was into BDSM, she also portrayed herself within Mormonism as Molly Mormon. So this contributed to my lack of being able to reconcile what I was being taught vs what I knew she was doing & hiding. While she was shaming me-she called me a "little whore" because I was SA'd by family friend I was 7-10 when this happened. Basically I've still got so many problems around sex. I've left the Mormon religion, my mom still holds strong to the belief system! Thank you for talking about this, it's very needed.

@forrestgossett

2 ай бұрын

That’s terrible. To be abused and not have a parent take up for you? How does your mother ‘hold strong’ to the belief system? Is BDSM okay in the context of being married? I’m not a Mormon; never was. I guess I’d differentiate between being a somewhat purposely naive married adult, doing vanilla things, versus being a secretive married adult doing things decidedly ‘non-vanilla.’ One is definitely living a lie. And it is to this I speak: You can’t be seen as ‘holding strong’ to the belief system if you are hiding what you are doing, in any church-defined realm, not just sexually.

@greg-op2jh

2 ай бұрын

I am so sorry that happened to you. You are perfect just the way you are. Sending you so much love and healing. I hope you can find peace. It was not your fault what happened. No one is ever responsible for being SA"d. I was groomed and sa'd by two adult men at the age of 16 and it's something that lives with you. You are beautiful ❤️

I think it’s about finding balance. Islam pushed marriage equally hard at a young age, and I eventually rebelled against that and explored the alphabet of possibility. Unfortunately - emotions get messy, communication is a rare skill, and the amount of people being safe is really low. I hope you find a balance that works for you.

God I would love to go to Greece with yall

@CarahBurrell

2 ай бұрын

Let’s do it! Ask all the questions!! Time to get a spot closes on the 28th!

Thank you Carrah ❤

Thank you for sharing

What about the notty bits the leaders had once banned?

When I was a Mormon, I was not only talking about sex, but I was having lots of sex outside marriage (using precautions of course).

@SaffronHammer

2 ай бұрын

and the bishops were cool about this in your Temple Recommend Interviews?

@ExvangelicalJess

2 ай бұрын

@@SaffronHammerNope. He asked and I just fibbed about it. I wasn’t about to discuss my sec life with anyone, let alone some old man three times my age. I only went once to receive my own endowments. It freaked me out so much I never went back. I left the church before I ever needed a new TR interview and had my name removed from all church records.

@SaffronHammer

2 ай бұрын

@@ExvangelicalJess I admire that, but as a faithful believer, in my mind I could not even imagine lying -it would have been lying before god-in my brainwashed mind. I feel compassion and pity for my indoctrinated-since-infancy self.. I know the trauma will be lifelong. But everything is better outside of religion, for myself. I am forever grateful for waking and leaving, and now being able to think and feel more clearly .

@ExvangelicalJess

2 ай бұрын

@@SaffronHammer I was in college at the time, and would have never even considered discussing my sex life with anyone who was old enough to be my parents parent. I had no problem talking to my best friends about sex since it was with them I was having it, but I had no problem lying to an old man who was asking personal questions about my sex life. I didn’t see it as lying before God. My temple endowments freaked me out so much that it was the beginning of my exit from the church. The last straw for me was when the bishopric tried to use some heavy pressure tactics to get me to agree to drop out of university in my junior year in order to go on a mission I had no desire to go on. I was 28 years old and was not about to uproot my life to go on a mission with a bunch of 19 year old kids. I had served in the Air Force since I was 18 years old and had been on my own for 10 years. I wasn’t giving up completing my bachelor’s degree to do something that I had never desired to do in the first place. I wasn’t raised in the church. I had only converted a year earlier, had my TR interview and a month later received my endowments. It was the next week that I had my first of many interviews regarding the mission I had no intention of going on.

12:30 I don't want to sound like I'm shaming, but I'm having a hard time understanding why someone would be into faires like that. Perhaps it's because I associate faires with children's literature and I don't think kinks should involve infantilizing.