Parenting is "a constant struggle between who you think you are and who you actually have the ability to be." FREAKING NAILED IT!

@francesvachon9516

5 жыл бұрын

Yup... clinical perfectionists unite!

@Looguat

5 жыл бұрын

LoL I know, it's neverending!!

@natashakorff5574

5 жыл бұрын

Agreed!! I wanted 4, but 4 days after baby 1 was born, we scaled that dream down to 2. I very quickly became a realist!

@jbloom1981

5 жыл бұрын

I can't LOVE this enough.

@87glassrose

5 жыл бұрын

This so summarizes life as a parent! I love holding and nursing my babies. But I suck at the rest I so want to homeschool but I know I am not disciplined enough.

It always amazes me how some women are so so certain they want kids, while others (like me) can feel absolutely nothing.

@elizabethowers6973

4 жыл бұрын

I think it's a you love your own thing and hate all other kids. I know what's how I feel 🤣

@froggreen2067

4 жыл бұрын

May I ask, how old you are?

@katherinetutschek4757

4 жыл бұрын

@@froggreen2067 34🙊

@auntiechris8773

4 жыл бұрын

@@katherinetutschek4757, I'm almost 55 and to this day, I have no longing for kids.

@sb-rc8qi

4 жыл бұрын

I have 4 kids and im happy. my two aunts never wanted or had children. They are in their 60s now and happy. Everyone is different.

Only ever wanted one child, preferably a daughter. That happened and I've never, ever wanted another child. She's brilliant and perfect, despite her parents!

@jamiezuzu7326

Жыл бұрын

Same! All that but with my son! Always wanted a boy, had one, I’m almost 37..probably won’t happen, open to it, but happy

@connaeris8230

6 ай бұрын

As an only child, I'd say unless your parents are balanced people having siblings is always preferable. The loneliness can get to you, and you're less used to being with your peers. Also, having to take care of your aging parents by yourself is not the best. But hey, if your daughter is perfect, I'm happy for you.

@KS-zc4jn

3 ай бұрын

@connaeris8230 As an only child, I agree completely!

@tinyking11

2 ай бұрын

Same. I have 1 kid and I don’t desire more kids at all. I miss my freedom.

My wife had to get off TikTok/Instagram. Constant comparison to fake Utah mom influencers was making her miserable. With a 6 and 4 year old whose sole purpose on this earth seems to be to destroy the house on an hourly basis and with a never off washing machine it seemed impossible to meet the ridiculous standards of these influencers. All of whom seemed to have immaculate houses, quiet and understanding statues of husbands, and seemingly always quiet kids. I grew up with 6 siblings and my wife was basically a single child. We thought 4 was a good middle number. Nope, we’re done at 2.

@ah5721

4 ай бұрын

Those insta /youtube/ pintrest moms are hiding dirty stuff somewere for reals..or are making enough money for l housekeeping people to clean their lovely white homes behind the scenes

Single, never married, no kids. I'm 68 now and have not regretted those three decisions for a second.

@dhamariisSX

Жыл бұрын

How did you take the decision?

@kineko7823

Жыл бұрын

How did you spent your time instead? That’d be interesting!

@loreleigoldman2460

Жыл бұрын

How can you when you have no idea what you’ve missed out on?

@kineko7823

Жыл бұрын

@@loreleigoldman2460 You simply have more freetime.

@cynthiamauck5918

Жыл бұрын

@@dhamariisSX Without getting into specifics - rotten childhood. Had me wanting to stay away from my family, or creating a family. No regrets.

The idea of children is entirely different than the reality

@sheriharris7635

5 жыл бұрын

This should be on a billboard somewhere

@heatherwillis6391

5 жыл бұрын

Sara G never truer words.

@brothertn708

4 жыл бұрын

S I don’t have children yet but I’m in the process of baby dancing... please explain you’re comment... how bad is reality 😬😬😬

@LamLawIndy

4 жыл бұрын

@@brothertn708 The reality isn't "bad." S means that BEFORE we have kids, we "know" exactly what kind of parent we'll be & how they'll turn out. Once the 1st baby is born, all plans go out the window! As the great Lori Borgman once said, I was a better parent before I had kids."

@nataliewritesplans

4 жыл бұрын

I needed to hear this as we contemplate a third. Thank you.

My husband wanted 6 children. I was 5 years older than him, closing in on 30. We had 3 children, and my last one was born when I was 39. That is what my body and my emotional self could handle, and that’s ok. Mayim, I know this video was created 4 years ago, but I just wanted to let you know that I really admire your strength, intelligence and moral character. Cherish those children. They are an heritage of the Lord.

@a120068020

8 ай бұрын

6? Sounds like my worst nightmare. Glad you could stop at 3.

@nirupamasharma4389

7 ай бұрын

I can't even move beyond 1😂😂

I have a daughter who is 29 that has disabilities. I juggled going to school and raising her while she attended special education classes as a single mom with very little help for her father. Now all these years later it’s just the two of us and I am happy with it and don’t regret not having more kids. She now has a little brother on her dad’s side that she enjoys being a big sister to. So I honestly think that everything worked out the way it was supposed to.

@rickwar0

8 ай бұрын

You honestly think your ex-husband's abandonment of the two of you (or the equal part of you both selfishly failing your marriage--whatever may be the case), causing your child to be robbed of having the constant influence of a father in her life, resulting in a constant struggle for you to not only keep your sanity but also to even trust another man like you put your trust in him... you think that it was supposed to be that way? No. Admitting your own mistakes and wrongdoings as well as calling out others' mistakes and wrongdoings is crucial in moving toward the way things closer to how the ACTUALLY are supposed to be.

I wanted 12. At 40, I started adopting and stopped with 2. ❤️

@somehandle

3 жыл бұрын

I'm curious, how come you wanted 12 at first?

@anniecbee

3 жыл бұрын

@@somehandle I grew up in a foster home with tons of kids and it was fun.

@annab9994

3 жыл бұрын

We’re considering adoption, may be there are any books or information sites you would recommend? Thank you.

@georgestavroulakis6347

2 жыл бұрын

@@annab9994 i think about adoption as well and i want to get notified if someone responds

@jlex1049

2 жыл бұрын

I'm glad you did. Adopting kids who already need better lives is a good thing. 12 is an absurd number.

As one child out of 9 children take it from me, No one person can take care of all needs of all those kids!

@MrsMaryIrby

2 жыл бұрын

@@anitalouise8595 I only have one and that was enough I was able to afford my time my money me and all my energy and to my child who just graduating Medical school I would never have been able to do these things as a young person as my parents could not afford anything for us they didn't encourage education because there was no money for college or any extracurricular activity an extracurricular activities at school so I chose just one and I was able to do all those things I'm a very proud mother

@dh5549

Жыл бұрын

I agree. Not sure why some people have so many.

@dh5549

Жыл бұрын

​@Mary Irby Children these days have too much. You don't need to give them everything. The new generation, life is too easy and they have a poor worth ethic. Marshmallow society we have raised.

@taylor11111

Жыл бұрын

@@dh5549 lmfao

@moonhunter9993

Жыл бұрын

yes, it would take a large extended family (and a village)

I had a perfect baby. Almost never cried, slept good, ate good. Not very demanding for attention. She was as chill as chill can be. Now shes a 6 yearold child and still the most lovable child you can imagine. Very sweet, caring and generally almost always happy. Shes the reason why i didnt want more kids. Shes perfect and another kid could never top that off

@quinncreel6091

Жыл бұрын

Wow! I feel the same way about my kid! I also worried I would favour one child over the other, if I had another one, because that's the experience I had, growing up (and even into adulthood, my parents do not treat all their kids the same).

@thethingy8814

Жыл бұрын

She must feel very loved. I'm very happy for her

@LucasFernandez-fk8se

Жыл бұрын

Please have more. Not only is our country dying because of lack of births but also like it sounds like she was pretty easy goin. U might get lucky twice or three times 🤷‍♂️

@julezthealien2467

Жыл бұрын

​@@LucasFernandez-fk8se nooooo. Because 1, we are overpopulated AS A WORLD. and 2, however many children or none feels is good for them is all that matters.

@DwynTwo

Жыл бұрын

That should sound sweet, but it actually kind of sounds like you would love her less if she wasn't "perfect"

As a member of 8 siblings household. Big family have their challenges, but they have so many benefits that i can look on today. We still close my brothers and sister. We have lost 3 so far and we feel that every day. My parents never made it seem to any of us that their lives were ruined for being their parents. In fact, before my father passed away, he thanked us for letting him be his father. He said, it was the greatest joy of his life.. no eye in that room was dry. I am the father of 4 of my own. It was challenging, but i wouldn't trade it for nothing in the world. My six grandkids. Big family have so many good things. Like my brother born a year apart.. always had someone to play. And as we got older, always someone to talk to about anything.

@AgeismGoesBothWays

9 ай бұрын

I think most families are more dysfunctional than yours. I'm close to being an antinatalist and wish people would consider adoption first, but it's always refreshing to come across people with good parents. The world is in great need of those imo.

@connaeris8230

6 ай бұрын

​@@AgeismGoesBothWaysthat's why I'd only have kids of my own if I was certain the person I'm with was the right one. If not, I'm going to adopt if possible. No need to bring to the world new people just to make them suffer.

@janiceg8120

Ай бұрын

Being a Dad is way less work than being the one who has the carry the child , birth it, breastfeed and do most all of the childcare. Even if the man is a stay at home dad - the toll of pregnancy delivery and breastfeeding is massive . It completely changes you and your body and I’m not talking superficially. Your body looks the same eventually but it’s definitely not.

@WormMinion

Күн бұрын

​@@janiceg8120YES. Men from a big family, with a big family, with a grateful father HAVE NO IDEA. It's *cute* when they think they took part.

I wanted 9 children and at 30 years old, I stopped after 1. I 100% feel this.

@sarahhiggins6280

3 жыл бұрын

same, stopped after 1. Thought I would have 2 or 3.

@angelaalfaro9007

3 жыл бұрын

@lavidavi my mom has 3 children and she’s 8 months pregnant- 🧍🏻‍♀️

@angelaalfaro9007

3 жыл бұрын

@lavidavi she’s 37 lol 🧍🏻‍♀️ and I think she’s fine with 4 atm I don’t think she wants more

@waterlily2743

3 жыл бұрын

@lavidavi 4 kids is a lot today when you consider the majority of couples only want one at most, and a good portion is choosing to remain childless

@davidtrishhope9841

3 жыл бұрын

I have three children, 47, 39 , 22 years

As the oldest of 11 children, I really want to commend you for loving your children enough to stop when you felt that your attention was stretched far enough. We can pose pretty for pictures and be on our best behavior, but behind closed doors, we were starved for love. I raised my siblings and my mom was overwhelmed to the point of severe mental breakdown. Nearly every big family I've ever known was like this. I decided to stop at 3 because I didn't want that life for my kids. Every mother should do what you did and evaluate what she honestly can handle. I wonder what my daughter would look like too, but I also thank God I can put all my babies in the same room and afford to enter them in sports and activities I never was able to enjoy growing up because there were just so many of us. ♡♡♡

@truthhurts8312

5 жыл бұрын

Kaytie Buckhalt, Same here. I was the live in house keeper and nanny for my mother and I resented it terribly!! Flash forward to now, I have two kids and that's it. They are getting their childhoods!

@DrkRse0788

5 жыл бұрын

Same. Grew up in a family of 12 kids...its was a figjt to the death for attention from our parents.

@lauracowan100

5 жыл бұрын

I totally agree. One of six and looking back I never felt listened to. I've stopped at 3! I just would not be able to meet the needs of any more children and they need me!

@z1cke92

5 жыл бұрын

I think I have seldomly read a comment that made me sad in so many ways...

@extremesoutherngal

5 жыл бұрын

I used to envy the big families 7-10 kids each, roughly. All the nice pictures, pretty smiles, the large well kept homes.... it always looked like a dream to me. I have 5 siblings, but I was raised as an only child because I was born when they were teenagers. I felt like I had missed out on so much. But after I became a mother, I started asking myself HOW IN THE WORLD those moms could handle 7,8, 10 kids when I felt I was losing sanity with my second and third, who are not twins, but basically are emotionally. It’s SO HARD. I live in a constant state of guilt because I feel like they both need more of me than there is to go around. I feel they don’t get enough attention. I could not imagine adding even one more to this mix! With all of that said, I found out recently that one of those big families I envied had a little secret- the 2 eldest males were under so much pressure in their household, that they had both considered suicide. The father of the family, who now has 12 kids (and might still have more) developed Addison’s disease from the stress... this family looks like something you’d see in a magazine, but they are DYING inside!

My mother was such a nightmare that I was done with being a mother myself. I'd rather not have children than do to them what she did pretending "it's all for thr best, you're just too stupid and selfish to understand it". I applaud all mothers and fathers who see their limits.

@AgeismGoesBothWays

9 ай бұрын

It's wonderful to see people considering child welfare more. It seems like most of us had parents who were bringing new life into the world to give their life meaning, they wanted to be a parent, or some other self serving reason.

@Pomoscorzo

9 ай бұрын

@@MissX33 I know for sure that if I had had children my mother would have displayed the role "most wonderful grandmother on Earth" to perfection before them and influenced them to her sole advantage. A woman I know has suffered both through her mother and her daughter, who was influenced and bribed by her grandmother since childhood. If you do have children as a child of a narcissist, keep your distance or you will live to regret it.

@lesleymcneill1403

7 ай бұрын

My sister told me, after our mother died, that she (mum) didn’t want kids. I hadn’t realised it. I think she had them out of guilt. Back then, you were told you are selfish if you don’t have children. Think of those women who want children and can’t have them.

Speaking as one of 10 kids: our parents were always stressed, exhausted, and angry. The only attention given to us kids was yelling and punishment, so the best you could hope for was neglect. Dad reminded us periodically how good his life would have been if we hadn't been born. I love my sibs, especially the sister--17 months older than me--who actually mothered me. But being born in a big family ruins your life.

@92RedRevolver

Жыл бұрын

People have different experiences. Your parents had twice as many as mine but they had their problems. Less angry it sounds like and I do have a lot of love for them but even with five, particularly if you end up with largely intelligent kids with some neurodivergences, it's fucking hard. My life, as the youngest, is pretty shit because it's kind of the inverse for me -- my siblings kind of kicked each other down and us girls (my brother is eldest but he's generally always been in employment, even if maybe not had the measurable success of my eldest sister) were horrible to each other, including sexual abuse (doesn't sound like that happened in your household but is more common between siblings in larger families than smaller families). I want a kid but I really don't think I want more than that.

@litebrite8993

Жыл бұрын

I am so sorry that those are your feelings and experiences so far. Have you ever thought about why your soul chose to be born into a such a big family? What lessons or experiences you might have desired for yourself? My family situation was similar to yours but with fewer children and it took me years to understand the lessons of self love and self worth I had come here to learn. Life is a holodeck or an rpg game but most people don't realize it, once you do and you realize there was a reason for all the insanity and you begin to look within to understand those reasons, light and healing will flood your world and give you a new lease on life. Good luck friend!

@nicrosilmind

Жыл бұрын

I’m one of 9 kids; my parents were much better than yours. It’s definitely not the size of your family; it was your parents.

@justincase7848

Жыл бұрын

Having a lot of kids is hard. But it's possible your parents would have been the same if they'd had two kids. I'm one of seven and it was absolutely the most positive thing.

@arrigune

Жыл бұрын

My father suffered the same. They were 8. The majority were totaly neglected, except for the 2 favourite ones.

Husband wanted 9 kids, I wanted 4. We found that 2 was the perfect number for us. It amazes me how many people are incapable of understanding my comment. We did not have nine children. We found that having two children was the perfect number for us, which means that we had two children. Stop attacking me for having too many children.

@darthszarych5588

3 жыл бұрын

People in my family have been having only 2 kind for the past coupple generations. I think 2 is the best number. My partner is also one of 2 and if we have kids, we'll probably try for 2.

@Gymnast2Perfect

3 жыл бұрын

I always wanted 12. Settled on 8 with my husband and actually ended up stopping at 5

@zapkvr

3 жыл бұрын

Nine? That's disgusting. Do people know how to think about the planet? Jesus

@nat6704

3 жыл бұрын

😂😂

@lovethyself744

3 жыл бұрын

ahahahaha 9 wtf looool

‘It’s a balance of holding on, and letting go’ just hit me with all the feels

Hello, I am a dad of a 5-year old girl, an Indonesian who stays in Singapore. I just stumbled upon this video and my first reaction was a mere "Oh, it's that actress from the Big Bang Theory." What you've shared is a blessing for me. Sorry for being 4 years late. From what I see in a glance, you are still doing parenting talk and podcast. Hope you continue doing that. I am confident that it can help parents everywhere, if not now, maybe years later.

Oof. I’m a mom of 5. I got divorced when my youngest was a baby. I wanted six children and I always feel like someone is missing and then sometimes I wonder if I did a disservice to my kids by having as many as I did. But I’m incredibly close with all five of my children and I do know that they are loved unconditionally and completely. I cried watching this video because there is so much regret, and also so much joy, it’s hard and it’s beautiful. Thank you for this. It’s always helpful to know that we aren’t alone.

When the time came around I finally wanted kids I wanted 4. Found out I couldn't have kids. After 6 miscarriages I found a new doctor and she helped me battle through my pregnancy, 17 hours of labour which turned into a c-section and my daughter was born and she filled my heart and tolerance.

@s.j.4061

3 жыл бұрын

That’s amazing. I’m so happy for you. I’d like to have children too in the future. May Allah protect you and your lovely daughter🤲🏻

@mariaremick7320

3 жыл бұрын

💗❤🧡💛

@HECKAKYH-ADEKBATEH

3 жыл бұрын

Respect.

@trinityziakas5531

2 жыл бұрын

Wow!!!

@chiefswife1212

Жыл бұрын

Did you ever stop and think maybe you weren't meant to have kids and just let God lead the way?

I, too, have stopped having kids. I currently have 0.

@jeaniechowdhury6739

4 жыл бұрын

Kyle same here.

@zoedoran164

3 жыл бұрын

Same LMAO

@lovethyself744

3 жыл бұрын

ahaha

@LauraLeming61

3 жыл бұрын

I feel ya sista!

@tiffanylpleasant4181

3 жыл бұрын

🙋

I wanted so badly to be a mother but I stopped trying after 10 years and was diagnosed with infertility. My addicted homeless sister had 3. 2 live with their fathers and when she became pregnant with her last child she asked us to adopt him. So I became a mom via kinship foster care (cps came on day 2 after birth because she did not remain clean during her pregnancy😔) his adoption was final last year. Our son is the sweetest and most loving little boy on this planet. Before him I used to be so bitter. It made me endlessly mad and question my worth when she kept having children and having them taken away and I did everything I could right and was never able to conceive. I can see now that everything comes in God's timing and in His way. We tried to get my sister help many many times I've the years but she doesn't want it and won't accept it. I wish there were ways to make them get clean but that's just not how it works sadly.

@fathomgathergood7690

Жыл бұрын

You could have avoided CPS if she signed him over to you before he was born.

@gingerjones111

Жыл бұрын

I hear you. I did not get any kids. Yet I had to stand by and watch a totally useless person have 3. I have to tell the truth- I am still very angry at G-d over this.

@jessicaely2521

Жыл бұрын

You sound like my sister-in-law's aunt and uncle. They couldn't have kids yet they adopted my sister-in-law and brother-in-law.

@dee4174

Жыл бұрын

​@@gingerjones111 I'm sorry you feel angry with G-d. All I know is His word is perfect and all His ways are just. Maybe he has greater plans for you. You won't see that till you forgive Him and surrender. I pray you find His peacevand purpose. ❤

@PolishPocahontass

Жыл бұрын

What a nice story thank you for sharing ❤

I love listening to Mayim. She is so articulate and gets her ponts across so well. I'm 57 and never wanted children, so I'm very happy being childfree. But that's the beauty of it: We're all different. To each, his/her own. Thumbs up!

All I can think is that we are enormously privileged to live in a world and a time where women can make that choice. I'm very grateful.

@love__and__hope__

3 жыл бұрын

And mostly they commit selfish decisions. In my country pension system is near collapse as too few women have 2 or more kids.

@autisticscreechling4950

3 жыл бұрын

@@love__and__hope__ All women have the right to make whatever decisions they want in regards to their own body, be they selfish or otherwise, so long as it's not hurting anyone.

@love__and__hope__

3 жыл бұрын

@@autisticscreechling4950 It is hurting! Pension system in my country in going to collapse within few decades.

@unhappyoption5910

3 жыл бұрын

@Rvards Kammanuuzvardu In my country it’s the same case, but guess what, I still plan on not having any children at all. Why? Because there are other ways to save the system without me trashing away my whole life for kids, like immigration. I hate being around kids, I hate listening to kids, I hate having to interact with a kid. It‘s ok if others want to have them, but I will pass, thanks. And I am not the only one. There are a lot of woman like me, but most are surpressing their feelings to conform and become what we call „a loving but unhappy mother“. Many regret having kids at all, and that is ok. Point blank.

@bigcityjunglecatenvisageth1422

3 жыл бұрын

@@unhappyoption5910 I am exactly the same way as you describe. Not every woman is maternal, or should be expected to be maternal or crazy about babies and kids. I am female but I cannot even stand the sight of kids. I can't stand their wretched stupid voices or anything to do with them. And to give birth to them is "horrific" and "disgusting". The whole business/ensemble with them is just so, so horrible!!! It's worse than a curse. Give me "animals" any day.

My mother was an abusive mother... it took me all my emotional/physical strength NOT to be like her so my kids didn’t carry it on... the emotional turmoil is still within me... but thankfully my kids, grown up now; are a blank slate with their kids, and so on.......

@2degucitas

2 жыл бұрын

You did good. Congrats to changing the pattern.

I wanted two! I just had my first in December and I’m obsessed with him. But pregnancy is awful and I can’t risk having another bad one. Babies are so much work, I am in awe of women who have them back to back.

@AnnDroid877

Жыл бұрын

Even after I had my only child, I told my mom that I still wanted three. She said, “Just wait.”

@emsqua

Жыл бұрын

In awe of our bravery and stupidity! 😂 I'm 2 weeks away from having my third so we will have a 3 yr old, an 18m old and a newborn! Brave yes, but also stupid 😂😂

@xxSydneyFox

Жыл бұрын

Same. Didn't much like pregnancy. Although I do want a second one but I'm scared of having a newborn and a toddler. I never expected breastfeeding to be so difficult, especially when he doesn't latch and I have to pump. The constant pumping and anxiety about milk drying up is driving me nuts! I have so much respect for women with multiple young children too!

@gigicolada

Жыл бұрын

@@xxSydneyFox breastfeeding was so hard. I pumped for a while but eventually dried up. Momming is rough!

@gigicolada

Жыл бұрын

@@emsqua that’s a lot! They will be so close though and that’s what I’m sad my son will never have.

Being a mom is so fulfilling and draining at the same time. I always wanted 1 child and I have one. But when I had her, I wanted more. Then you figure out how hard it can be, raising a child. Then life happens. I am still figuring out how to accept having no more kids, but it definitely helps seeing you speak about your journey of accepting to stop having children.

My mother always tell me, that being a parent is the worst and the best thing ever happened to her. You're always worried even though they're 40, but also they're your biggest reason to be happy

@amcjap

3 жыл бұрын

My Mother always said the same. Worrying is the hardest part.

@Kaththee

2 жыл бұрын

Your mother is a wise woman.

@Kaththee

2 жыл бұрын

@@amcjap There is a saying, "Having children is giving hostages to fate." but I try to trust in God instead but it is very difficult not to worry. I have gotten better about it.

@samc.319

2 жыл бұрын

I already worry for my cats's safety and wellbeing on a daily basis, I'm glad I don't have to worry if they're ever going to college.

@karenabrams8986

Жыл бұрын

That is true

I honestly don't know why people feel they need to justify choices of having children or not having children. It is YOUR choice and no one else's business.

@lo5338

3 жыл бұрын

Thank you 😊

@SabrinaMBowen

3 жыл бұрын

I was thinking this. But for those of us who wanted a lot of children and then decided it wasn't for us and chose not to have more than a few often face A LOT of harassment. My youngest is almost 10 and I still have to hear about all the reasons I was wrong to ever say I wanted more. As a celebrity, I can only imagine she faces that at a higher level than someone like I do.

@pluggerblog

3 жыл бұрын

Exactly.

@gabriellar5399

3 жыл бұрын

Or maybe it's not justification but just sharing as a way of supporting others

@kinndah2519

3 жыл бұрын

We know it's our choice. She wasn't talkin about it being our choice or somebody else's. She's talking about battling your heart and your ability on this matter. Please pay attention

I'm a single mom of 7 children. My husband left me when our 7th was 3. I didn't plan to do this alone. I love my kids so I'd go through this struggle again and again. However, it has nearly broken me. I hope my kids have a mind like yours. I will support them and love every grand child they bring into this world. But for their sanity and well being, I hope they decide on 2. Because that is difficult but doable. 7 alone sometimes feels like I might not make it through it. It feels like I can't be the mother I wanted to be because I'm struggling so much for us all to survive. Btw, I love your podcast and I think you are a lovely intelligent soul.

@piranyam

Жыл бұрын

My both grandmas were left by their husbands as they had 7 and 5 children... I admire them for their strength, but all my aunts and uncles were practically neglected and my both parents really tried their best with me (only child) but as a couple, they were so horribly immature 😅

I was an only child. My daughter was an only child, who said she wanted more than one. She had 4. I’ve learned so much about babies, children and families watching them grow. My daughter has the patience of a saint and loves them more than anything. Each child is a unique person from the moment they are conceived. They are born with their own personality. No one is completely like another. Do what you can and love each and every one.

Having children is always one foot in the hell, one in heaven

@aidenjameswithers3489

4 жыл бұрын

2 feet in heaven. You're children give you the status. Not meaning rude I apologize but all in all... these children are our generation gn

@clippotronics522

4 жыл бұрын

@@aidenjameswithers3489 totally acceptable opinion greetings

@winecrimesfoodandtime7119

4 жыл бұрын

Oh yes indeed

@Skyesoceaneyes

4 жыл бұрын

Never heard it put this way. I totally love having kids...but yeah, I totally get it.

@chanceversace2185

4 жыл бұрын

I understand where you’re coming from. It really depends on who you are as a person and your perspective on challenges and life. Doesn’t make you any less of a good parent. It just matters how you execute your feelings. My mom is a natural worry-wart. Anxiety is her middle name. She struggled with nervousness since she was a little girl and of course, having children did not make her feelings any better. My mom has 3 kids and was what they call a “helicopter mom”. She was sometimes overbearing. She did her best and tried to make us all as happy as she could, no matter how nervous she got. No matter what, she tried. And she loved us fiercely. However, she opened up to me when I became an adult and she explained how she is in constant fear as a mom. She always thought the very worst would happen and thought how she couldn’t live if anything happened to any of us. She was in hell. But we are her world. She was also in heaven. Her youngest is 21 and she still panics sometimes. So I get your perspective and I validate it.

These days, just one child is a lot of work. And money.

@Stettafire

2 жыл бұрын

@Jo C and yet families have less and less time to deal with said work.

@kellielaine5848

2 жыл бұрын

and worry.

@elvinrosetes31

2 жыл бұрын

Practical & best attention if you only have one

@abeltesfaye_

2 жыл бұрын

@@elvinrosetes31 not really since then your baby will grow up spoiled and won't learn how to compete in the real world as well as people who have siblings. Jordan Peterson gave an excellent talk about this confirming it

@soulsunshine108

2 жыл бұрын

It was a lot of work always, but nowadays mostly we have no live-in family members to help.

I stopped having kids even before having any :D I was growing up convinced that as a young adult I would get married and have a baby by 18 or 20. When I started living on my own at 20 and realized just how much energy it takes to do all the chores and make sure I have finances to cover your needs, I thought that I could not add more stress and responsibility than I already had. At 36, still in the same situation and loving living childfree. I don't think I will ever want a child.

If you are a committed and loving parent to your child, it's a full-time job. Some parents can take care of more than others. Knowing your own limits shows what commitment is possible.

I have no children.. I never had that maternal pull at my womb.. Too late now and still No regrets

@rebelmia4751

3 жыл бұрын

If i wanted a child i would adopt one any time. But i dont. No man needed, no pregnancy just for the sake of being blood related. I could just walk into any orphanage and look around. But i dont.

@rebelmia4751

3 жыл бұрын

@Mikael B what are you saying? Orphanages dont exist where you're from coz you never seen one? Or do you mean you dont know how to get there? In every country ppl dont tend to keep the babies they make. You just dont see it around you and conclude it's in no ones lives... It's pretty ignorant of you to assume your inviroment is based on your experience

@krazykat6066

3 жыл бұрын

👍

@nativevirginian8344

2 жыл бұрын

I have no maternal feelings at all. Found out when I was 55 I have a heart defect and labor probably would have killed me. So for me it worked out. Was somebody looking out for me? I never had any energy to begin with, could not have dealt with kids.

@Stettafire

2 жыл бұрын

@Mikael B we call them by a different name here, called care homes and they're rough places. Lots of kids getting involved with drugs and crime. Adopting is also very hard as a single parent, unfortunately.

I wanted 10 children. I did not have a supportive husband but we were blessed with 4 children. I had two miscarriages and I still grieve them at times but now 30 years later God has blessed me with 6 grandchildren to love and care for so you see, I have my ten children.

@Sodiumreads

5 жыл бұрын

Melinda Banning reading this put me in tears.

@zoomzoombabe

5 жыл бұрын

How lovely! Always looking at the positive, sunny side 🤗🤗

@Silly-Little-Mama

5 жыл бұрын

Love this! ❤️❤️

@jessicaemilia101

4 жыл бұрын

...and to Mayim’s point that’s probably when you were meant to be that mom of ten. This is a beautiful share and I’m glad you got your ten. I’ve had multiple losses even with the two that got to stay and it’s nice to think that one day I may be a mother to seven after all. Ty.

@felixfischer312

4 жыл бұрын

Yes isaw that as i read it and two Angles watching over all of you.

I never wanted kids and thought I’d live in solitude but someone special bumped into my life and changed all my aspirations. Now we’re happily married and going on 11 years and we have 3 beautiful kids and want another. Patience was the perfect word and it’s ok if fate has a different plan than what you were expecting.

@Tsubahi

Жыл бұрын

As long as you are not "manipulated" by God or fate or whatever.

This 4 year old video was just served up to me by the KZread algorithm at the perfect time. My husband and I dreamed of having enough kids for a soccer team, but we have a 3 month old Velcro baby who came out of a 10 day NICU stay and cried nonstop for the next 6 weeks. Now I’m terrified of having another kid.

I always told my 3 kids there are three things to remember about having children. 1) Can you afford children. 2) Can you stand children. 3) Can you actually have children. My oldest fits all 3 criteria. My second child can’t have any. My third child hasn’t wanted any.

@Karen-ul9hd

4 жыл бұрын

Maybe the first question should be: can you love children?

@MandiiJanee1994

4 жыл бұрын

My mother only had 1 saying and I personally think it’s the best. Choose your babies father Wisely

@jayaom4946

4 жыл бұрын

One thing we're forgetting when we say this to people that don't (yet) have children is that you will love these people more than you can imagine. I didn't feel anything about my sons before they existed!!! Once they were born I loved them more than I ever knew was possible. I mean, this is just a beautiful part of being a mother. The father often gets that too in a different way. I had all of my children when I thought that I couldn't afford them but I learned to make sacrifices. Not everyone is also trying to finish grad school at the same time as having babies!!!! Funny how she brings that up but still acts like the main issue was with the baby period.

@OshiKuru7321

4 жыл бұрын

@@MandiiJanee1994 Kids don't need to have a father to thrive, just putting that out there. Personally I enjoy being the sole one to make my family's decisions.

@MandiiJanee1994

4 жыл бұрын

ShayGalaxy they don’t that’s for sure, however you should attempt to choose a good father, choosing someone abusive isn’t good for anyone

Being a parent is really hard. Not easy like what we see.

I remember hitting 45 and being sad about not having any kids but now I look at our current social economic trends and I am so glad I didn't have any. Current kids have a very bleak future ahead of them. Many of today's youth have or are giving up knowing their chances of a stable future are dwindling away.

I thought I will be a mom before 30. I'm nearing 34 and I'm finaly pregnant with my first. I thought that pregnancy will be happy joyful time for me. I have hyperemesis gravidarum, basicaly throwing up all the time. I always wanted two kids. Right now I'm not so sure. But I learnt that you can make plans and life will surely change them for you. And the best thing you can do for you is to accept and adapt.

Wanted none. Had none. No regrets. Bless you moms. My father had 16 siblings.

@babdullah5025

4 жыл бұрын

I'm from a family of 9 kids. It was shity.

@courtneygrier2015

4 жыл бұрын

Wanted none, have none, zero regrets here too! I have many things I want to do and having kids is nowhere close to that list.

@TheEmeralddreams

3 жыл бұрын

Wanted three. Had none. No regrets. Yes! Bless the moms out there. My father has/had 12 siblings.

@Shortjascha

3 жыл бұрын

My dad had 8 siblings I had 3. Was enough for me I'm a cool uncle.

@Elizabeth-yg2mg

2 жыл бұрын

Many of the people I've known from huge families didn't want kids.

You didn't fail at being a mom, you said yourself you had two wonderful children, time to be happy and be grateful.

@tiffanylpleasant4181

3 жыл бұрын

💯

I enjoyed motherhood every single seconds. All labour of love worth it. I wont change with anything. I'm blessed .

My mother always wanted 4 children, but after 3 c-sections be pregnant again would be risky. She's 71 years old now and said she always missed her 4th child.

I wanted a cool dozen. I had six that passed before I held them in my arms. I adopted one. Thank you for this video.

@annettemorrison7737

5 жыл бұрын

I am so sorry for your loss but am glad you adopted. ❤

@melissadoran911

5 жыл бұрын

wow i am so so so sorry for all of your loss. congrats on your adoption you are an amazing mom

@miguelmarquez4192

5 жыл бұрын

I didnt expect that. Im sorry you repeatedly experienced that kind of loss.

@michelled.8470

5 жыл бұрын

Sending virtual hugs to you 💞

@Kaemea

5 жыл бұрын

My Mom had 3 miscarriages before she and Dad adopted my brother and I. I can't comprehend the pain you have gone through. I'm so happy that you were able to adopt!

Motherhood is a much bigger and more important job than most people realize or will admit. Absolutely nothing can take the place of a good mother in the life of a child.

@christinelagueux8155

2 жыл бұрын

Agreed...I have one and it was enough

@eliasa2318

2 жыл бұрын

You are wrong.

@SquirrelNutkins

2 жыл бұрын

Except a good father.

@stevenauldridge2679

Жыл бұрын

Actually research disagrees. Its the father that makes the difference. Dont believe me? Look at the american black population. Whos raising them? Mothers. Whos absent? Fathers.

@stevenauldridge2679

Жыл бұрын

@@dd4850 Tell that to the women in Ukraine.

As someone who wanted 3, but only got one who is now graduating & soon moving out, this video is a welcoming reminder that I am not alone in my feelings. I have regrets & am mourning the "what ifs".. I wish I had more time when she was little, but you deal how best you can: now w/ the emotions of letting go and then w/ the reality of raising a kid. You are often stressed & tired & coping as best you can in the moment & I have to remind myself that she's turned out alright. 😊

Thank you for your vulnerability and transparency in this conversation about motherhood and childbearing. I appreciate you!

My mother always said that motherhood for her was overrated. Growing up I saw that same thing and decided not to go the mom route. Never regretted it for one second and am almost 60. Being a mother is not for everyone and unless you are ready to make that lifelong commitment don't do it!

@maryrosekent8223

5 жыл бұрын

thenitenurse22 As the eldest of five who had enormous responsibilities from the age 12 until I left home at 18, I never wanted any either. I wanted to wander around the world and eventually live abroad, which I did-less wandering than I had anticipated and I lived in a place I never thought about when I was young, but I’m really glad I made these things come true. I still hope to wander more, but I’m contented to live out the rest of my life in California.

@houseofbows

5 жыл бұрын

I call it glamourized. People think their child will be perfect never have issues never hate them and so on but truth is you sacrifice your life for them and they can hurt you more than anyone in the world. Or you can hurt for them.

@j.m.7056

5 жыл бұрын

Mary Rose Kent My exact situation! I have a life and am glad you do too!!! 😘

@Kim2887

5 жыл бұрын

That's so sad that your mom felt that motherhood was overrated and that she actually told you that. 😢

@melsterifficmama1808

5 жыл бұрын

Kim Davies sad? Or honest? Saying that motherhood is overrated is not the same thing as saying she doesn't love her kids. The fact that they had the conversation shows that they are close enough for honesty.

I’m a new mom who wanted 6 kids.. my first born son was stillborn, 4 years later we welcomed a healthy baby girl annnnnd I think I’m done 😓lol. This video brought the clarity that my mind needed!!

@thewhitefam5924

3 жыл бұрын

I'm very sorry, Kimmie. That's very sad to hear you lost your first son, but happy you can have him in your heart while taking care of his little sister

@debbiewiands1822

3 жыл бұрын

Wanted 6. Came from 6. Had 1. At 65 still working on my mental health. Love him to death. Every thing I did he did. Payback 😊

@fainafaina1940

Жыл бұрын

I have a beautiful son. I would like to have another child deep down in my mind but I'm done as well:). I had a very traumatic second pregnancy where I lost 2 twin girls and my marriage broke down. Plus I want more time for myself and I'm not ashamed to say that. I'm absolutely happy with one child!

@moonhunter9993

Жыл бұрын

So sorry about your loss. I am glad to hear your girl is healthy.

@clairebearie87

Жыл бұрын

also lost my first..and I am done

Parenting, the gift that steals your sanity, triggers your issues to show you they have not been dealt with yet, and teaches you things about yourself that you didn’t know yet. I wish you the best in your adventures as a MOTHER punkin.

@alietheredge

7 ай бұрын

With them yet, lol.

I felt the exact same way but now I'm expecting baby #4. It honestly does get easier the more you have. The more your patience grows, the more your love grows, and the more people there are to love each other. When it's just 1 or 2 all the attention giving falls on you and it's difficult to juggle. With more, they play with each other and keep each other company and like they're alone time.

@eleonoraformatoneeszczepan8807

Жыл бұрын

Thank you for sharing that. I've heard something similar to that said before by someone, in the area where I live, too.

@MinkaLovesPineapples

Жыл бұрын

Totally agree with you, husband and I just had our second child and parenting actually got easier as opposed to just one child...we now are planning on having four or five kids. We can't wait and our oldest is loving it.

@emilybailey96

Жыл бұрын

Thank you for this comment.

@larbakatariina1912

Жыл бұрын

This is such a reassuring comment, we have 2 for now and it's rough sometimes... But I personally would love to add one more to our family but I'm constantly worrying about there being enough love and us not having more than 4 hands so who would be left out...

@emilybailey96

Жыл бұрын

@@larbakatariina1912 Even with one child you will feel like you are never giving enough of yourself. It would never matter how many kids we have, it stretches us as mothers and fathers, and we will always wish we could give more! It is simply a part of loving children.

I knew when I was 8 years old, I did NOT want kids. I was so afraid that I would be the same parent as my father, and I did not want the possibility of any of my "children" be verbally and emotionally abused as my siblings and myself as we were. My brother and sister became our father with their children. Now 50 years later, I know that I made the right decision. I stopped the abuse cycle on my end.

@susanverhoeven4962

Жыл бұрын

I agree with you completely. At 74 years old now, I have never regretted my decision.

@queenbee3647

10 ай бұрын

I came from a violent and abusive family. I hurt and cried alot. I ETCHED the parenting I experienced in the front of my brain and avoided it at all costs. My daughter never was hit. Always supported. Taught to be a free thinker and responsible for herself. In other words I love her and I show it. Shes awesome. Shes the only grandchild. My siblings didnt want any.

@leonip9142

9 ай бұрын

Just the fact that you understood it as abuse is awesome. It took me years to figure it out.

@teacupglitterinfested1525

9 ай бұрын

You still could’ve stopped the cycle even if you had kids. However you don’t need to have kids to brake the cycle. I didn’t start with you but it’s also on your end to grow and heal from your trauma. I hope you innerstand everything I just typed and have a nice life.

@kathybateman7500

9 ай бұрын

@@teacupglitterinfested1525 I stand by my 50-year-old choice. Now say, "Goodbye" and keep learning to spell and use punctuation correctly.

I had one! It was the best 21 years (so far) of my life! We’ve travelled, he’s played piano for 12 year.... we had toooooo much fun! He’s a great kid and it was the best thing I’ve ever done.

@user-dy4zv3rb7n

Жыл бұрын

So why not have more? I just don't get it....

@savleensur8670

Жыл бұрын

LOL YOUR PROFILE PIC IS THE BEST

@savleensur8670

Жыл бұрын

To the person who asked me why OP did not have more kids, not your fucking business

Really appreciate this honest giving reflection. I always wanted 4 and was blessed with 3 under 3. It was exhausting, mentally and emotionally challenging and I’m thankful for them and the journey it’s brought. But it comes with a lot of pain too and being real is important.

I decided not to have kids after being a doctor for 4 years. I know what lack of sleep can do to a person and it really affected my mental health. Raging hormones on top of that for everyday for years, nope.

@alinan4320

8 ай бұрын

Not a doctor here , but I have got the same perspective as u

My mother was the 4th of 10 kids. She hated it. The older kids always had to sacrifice everything for the younger ones and be caretakers instead of regular teenagers. My grandmother did not want my mother to go to school so she could help out more at home. Their family was too poor, so no one could have anything other than the bare, bare necessities, since if one kid got something, all 10 had to get it too. My mom always told herself she'd never have more than two kids. I'm so sorry to hear that your initial dreams weren't realized, but I think you've found a better dream on your journey. Yes, your kids can't make up a football team, but they'll have parents who had the ability to have and raise them. Thanks for sharing this video, Mayim :)

@brothertn708

4 жыл бұрын

C Tran that’s too sad! Does your mother resent the younger siblings?

@theresebizabishaka7605

4 жыл бұрын

This can happen no matter how many children there are in the family. A selfish mother is a selfish mother. I had a friend who was an only child but her Mum sat around the house all day and made her to do the work. I was the eldest of 3 and never made my bed till I left home. I have 5 children and do most of the work but everyone contributes to the house as they should. It's not about the number of children but I the heart of the mother.

@YeshuaKingMessiah

4 жыл бұрын

Many many families of many have not had this happen. The children go on to have their own many children. Becuz large families have so much going for them, than not going for them. Its the heart of the parents, as stated above.

@babdullah5025

4 жыл бұрын

@@YeshuaKingMessiah Most of the time with a lorry of kids in a family there's always a lack of attention and care.

@YeshuaKingMessiah

4 жыл бұрын

B Abdullah this is a myth

My husband and I thought we'd have at least two kids. After my son was born (he, too, was a Velcro Baby), we both said "ONE AND DONE!"

@caroljenkins6273

5 жыл бұрын

But did you both get the surgery to prevent you making more babies. If not you weren't really done.

@pizzaperson1

5 жыл бұрын

Same here haha!

@maureendoherty3051

5 жыл бұрын

I have 4. I wanted my children to have brothers and sisters. I have a few friends who are only children themselves and always wished they'd have siblings. One of my friends that I grew up with was always at my house to experience the noisy fun house.

I had twins via a C-section. Worked 30 hours a week for the first two years. No help from family, just my husband and me. Loved every minute of it. I wish I could have had another set of twins, but it wasn't to be. My girls are all grown up now and are amazing human beings, they are the best work of my life.

I admire your strength and I can only imagine the number of people you have helped not just in your day to day interactions but your videos that reach out to so many people with a huge range of topics. Xx

Never had children. Married late in life and did not want to be a single mom! No real regrets.

@jenleigh342

Жыл бұрын

Me too! You GO GIRL! 😁😄😄😃😀

@Yogagirl9935

Жыл бұрын

Me also!

@riseevolution

Жыл бұрын

i am in that situation passing the time of having. some women have a lot of kids , i really didnt want that.

@KatsCorner

Жыл бұрын

I am sixty and never wanted them either part of it was the state of the world environment as well as sadness I witnessed with all the disappointed elders I worked with waiting for their kids who NEVER visited or rarely showed up.

@jennabryan1658

Жыл бұрын

Similar club! "a constant struggle between who you think you are and who you actually have the ability to be." - applies to LIFE not exclusive to parenting

"As a clinical perfectionist, I feel like I failed at being the mom that I wanted to be. I couldn't bring myself to have more children when my boys still needed so much love and affection. And also my sanity was kind of questionable to begin with." I'd say you succeeded as a mom if what you wanted to be was a sane, sensitive mother who cared about meeting the needs of her children and preserving her sanity. The universe/God gave you fertility, but it also gave you a brain and a heart to craft the best family for your unique self. Mad props, Mayim.

@ameliarenkel2569

5 жыл бұрын

Lauren Potter, Truth!

@vashtiramsaroop5410

5 жыл бұрын

Lauren, well said. Non-mother that I am, I am worry about how much I take care of the people around me, and I don't have the responsibility of motherhood. What you share is beautifully, and compassionately articulated. Thank you!

My dad is the eldest of seventeen children (no twins, all survived) and every time I hear these stories from moms, I reflect on my wonderful grandma and am amazed at how the hell she did it.

Awe Blossom, what you said was moving to me. I still struggle letting go. Thank you for sharing.

"It's a constant struggle between who you think you are & who you actually have the ability to be". Self acceptance. Something I also struggle with daily. Thank you so much for sharing.

"GOD, GIVE ME THE PATIENCE TO HAVE 11 CHILDREN!" ROFLMAO

@carasmussen27

5 жыл бұрын

I wanted at least 2 but only had one at 42 so there was no way i could have more. She always wanted a baby brother or sister.

@delemoslovelyandreap.8461

5 жыл бұрын

Cathy Rasmussen my brother wanted another baby sister/brother, but i don't lol.

@dianawestrup7416

5 жыл бұрын

But give it to me RIGHT NOW!!! LOL...

@claresadeaburroughs856

5 жыл бұрын

Thank you for posting this. I too wanted many children, but was only able to have one. I understand the guilt. May we both find peace.

@ShelbySteele23

5 жыл бұрын

Cathy Rasmussen At 42 naturally?

I was married almost ten years before the urge to have children hit me. Sadly, I had full term (conjoined) twins that died at birth. I SO wanted to get pregnant again immediately so I could "do it right" this time. A year later, I had my baby girl. As I was dragging my IV to the bathroom while holding my sutured gut in with a pillow, I decided...no.., I FELT...I was done. It was weird. I just knew this was it. And it's not that I didn"t want another baby, I just knew I couldn't do it again. I wanted to adopt, but my husband was against it. I regret to this day we didn't have another child and sibling for our daughter...but physically I was done. Now I have 2 grandsons (one special needs) and my heart is full. But still, at 70 now, I feel there's something missing.

I admire your for making the hard and best choices for yourself and your family because I have known people who have made choices that were not in their or their family’s best interests. And it always seems to end up hurting everyone involved including people who love their family. It can be heartbreaking all around. I am also insanely proud of you and wildly impressed that you completed your PhD while building your family and then moving on to get back to acting. You’re one of the rare success stories of former child actors/stars, and I’m so happy for you!

My aunt ended up having only *one* kid.. after she gave birth to a *10 pound* baby.. my aunt is *only* 5 feet tall. That was *enough* for her.

@nativevirginian8344

2 жыл бұрын

I never understood why any woman would put herself through that twice-or once really. But as I said above, I never felt the urge at all.

@AshutoshKhantwal93

2 жыл бұрын

10 pounds wtf that's like 4 something kgs

@Elizabeth-yg2mg

2 жыл бұрын

Ouch.

@feliciakidd9358

2 жыл бұрын

Lol. You know thats right! I have only one.

Thank you. I needed to hear this tonight. After one kid, I was done. Career, plus no help with housework, cooking, or bedtimes, and being one those Moms who was up every two hours for 16 months. It’s too much. It leaves me a pretty cranky mom and it’s overwhelming. Thank you for your honesty. It helps me to feel like I’m not alone, and that it’s actually okay to be struggling.

@queencranberry

5 жыл бұрын

Cathy M you are not alone. Same here. I am solo parenting in a marriage. Waking up every 2 hours. I am done.

Thank you for being so candid. Yes, parenthood is challenging but I still believe well worth it.

OMG I needed to hear this today✨🥰🙏 you are amazing. I feel all of it, and knowing I’m not alone in this journey of constantly managing ‘not being enough’ with all the pain and guilt and self beating means a word 🙏

As a mom of a velcro baby, I'm just glad to know that I'm not alone.

@elizabethashley42

3 жыл бұрын

Not at all! My second was a velcro baby, and now at age 5 she's found her independence, but she's also my most empathetic, giving, and loving child so far. It gets better. ❤️

@thenourway

3 жыл бұрын

I have had 3 Velcro babies (though I always said they were allergic to the floor). You can do it! Its super hard but dangit when the oldest brings home that Vday card saying "I love my Mom" you know it was just all worth it....

I NEEDED THIS!! I am a 30 yr old mom of two boys. Oldest is two youngest is 10 weeks. In the recovery room after my second c-section my husband and I looked at each other and decided no more kids. I have some guilt and sadness and what ifs especially wanting a girl but you have to see the balance and know what you can handle and we agree we are content with our two blessings but I want it to be well with my soul and in due time it will💙

@patricianabende7674

2 жыл бұрын

You're my twin. I have 2 boys and battling whether I should try for a girl as a third. But childbirth and taking care of them takes a toll. I live a day at a time and try to seek that balance. For now an not sure but so far an happy with the 2

Plans change and that's ok. I had a set number of children in my head and when I reached it I didn't feel done at all. Other people thought I had "so many kids" but it just felt like my normal. I have 9 now and kinda want more, we'll see what happens. My kids definitely want me to have more, lol. My husband says the more the merrier but also says it's my call since I have to go through so much to have them. So he's happy with whatever I decide. It is a lot of work but the way I see it, they're only little once and it goes by so fast. I think I'll be 80 and still wishing I could have just one more baby. I get a lot of people telling me how expensive it is, but everyone spends money on differently and has different priorities. I buy good clothes but usually on sale, my kids don't see anything wrong with hand me downs. They're just not materialistic. Over the years I've gotten into gardening for fun but it's turned out to be very useful. What started off as pet ducks turned into endless eggs. We have zero food waste because leftovers and scraps to go the hens and in return give us more eggs. We eat a lot of them but I still have to give some away to friends because it's just too much. I switched to cloth diapers years ago for health reasons. I had a baby with bad eczema who would get a rash from disposable diapers. Cotton diapers fixed the issue and I stuck with them. Things have a way of working out.

@reflectionsinthebible3579

11 ай бұрын

Don’t you worry about being high risk? What about problems during pregnancy? What about just the risk to your life? I’d be afraid to have so many not even to mention more.

@sweetpie7919

11 ай бұрын

@@reflectionsinthebible3579 All of my pregnancies have gone very smoothly. I've never had any complications or health issues. My babies have all been full term and very healthy. If I had ever had a problem I would feel different but that's not the case. I have a good friend who has had two children, both cesarean, with really hard recoveries afterwards ( she's fine now) and she's decided she's done.. I can't blame her. Honestly, I wouldn't want to go through that either. Labor and delivery isn't fun, it's painful, it's hard work, but it's one day. And to me it's worth it. I recover the same as anyone else and in a few weeks feel back to normal. Pregnancy is a very normal thing after all.

Thanks for sharing this, I got very emotional about the loss part and saying goodbye and all the last times with our beloved children ❤

I have two children 7 years apart and I thought this would some how make it easier to have two kids ! WRONG 2 kids is 2 kids regardless of how far you space them out 😩

@paulapazyamor4893

4 жыл бұрын

Pretty Fair!! I have 2 kids too, actually, 2 under 2...most part of the time it's much easier than I thought...but there's always a moment when you think "man, why?"😂😂both of them weren't "planned", although I got amazed when finding out the pregnancies...well, raising kids is not for everyone!!!😂😂😂😂😂

@jennialong

4 жыл бұрын

I had the same thought having my kids 5 years apart. Lol Yeah so wrong in thinking it would be easier!

@NeroliCannoli

4 жыл бұрын

@@paulapazyamor4893 Thanks for sharing this! We had always planned to have five years or more between our kiddos, but baby #2 was a suprise so there's only 2 years and 8 months between them. I was plagued by guilt that I deprived my eldest of the focus and dedication I should have been able to give her in her toddler years, especially because I was bedridden with morning sickness for most of my pregnancy and at five weeks the baby wound up in hospital with a minor heart condition. I always felt like if we'd just been more careful, and stuck to the five year plan, everything would have somehow magically been perfect... It's... reassuring to hear that having an age gap between them doesn't somehow solve all the woes of having two kids. Two kids are TOUGH! Whether you have them a decade apart or a year, you really need a support network around you.

@kessiawright1710

4 жыл бұрын

It is harder to have them so far apart. You just get used to them being more independent and then you start over again.

@barbarahope1934

4 жыл бұрын

Queen Jasz There was 7 1/2 years between my sister and myself. It felt too much. We weren’t close at all. We li e on different continents and have done so for the last 50 years. We communicate, but I wish I had had a sibling closer to my own age. There are only the two of us. Unfortunately the large gap was just down to nature. Mum tried for years before she was able to fall pregnant a second time whereas I was an accidental baby. I don’t think a big age gap is beneficial, from my own experience.

I have watched this many times. It really helps validate my feelings of probably stopping at 2 kids even though I want 3. The way you word things is amazing.

@tanzpearl

2 жыл бұрын

Same here.

I’m so glad you made this video. I’ve said my entire life that I wanted to have two kids on purpose and a third on accident. I have one. And I may only ever have one. He deserves everything that he deserves. He’s not ready for a sibling. I’m already in my mid 30s and in a failing marriage. I don’t think that I want another partner or another child, after what I’ve been through. And it does make me sad to think that I’ll never give him a sibling. Because I’m the oldest of four and my siblings are the most important thing in my life. And I do mourn. But I also know that to be the best mother I can possibly be? It’s not about numbers. It’s about quality. And my child deserves quality. I don’t think he’ll have quality if I continue have anymore children. Especially under the circumstances I’m in. It’s a hard decision to make. But I think it’s the right one. He’s the right one. I had so many dreams of what my life would be like, as we all do. But dreams have to adjust and change with us. My dream now? Is to meet a single dad with a daughter. And we live in two separate houses in the same neighborhood😂 I don’t ever wanna live with a man again

Thank you, @Mayimbialik, for sharing your motherhood story. I cried while listening; I am 37, with a 4 yr and 15 mo. old little ones, who are attached to me all the time. I had a triple hernia repair when my 2nd was only 5 months old. My first has been diagnosed as Autistic, and I love them so much but it is definitely has not been easy.

I love your authentic and honest videos about motherhood. We need more of these! You let overwhelmed mothers feel that there is nothing wrong with them. Thank you.

I wanted four children, two pricey C-sections later, we decided our budget, my body, and the husband's emotional well-being couldn't purposely plan for more children

@kayj389

2 жыл бұрын

I feel this!!

I LOVE how honest you are and I LOVE YOU!!💞

This makes me so sad for you 😢. I hope you come to peace with this and can move past thinking about it. I had 2 kids following 4 miscarriages and I'm at peace with this. I think about the 4 I lost and that I ran out of time to have more. But honestly more than not I am incredibly grateful for the 2 awesome kids I have and all the traveling and other things I can do because I have just the 2. Bless you.

This is so cute. As a little kid, I wanted 4 boys...and name them after the ninja turtles. I just turned 36, not married and no children. I couldn’t be happier. I have my friends and family. People forget that some things are not meant to be. And after years of trying with relationships...I realize not everyone was meant to find a husband or children. So I stopped trying, now I live each day, work, pay bills, and travel as much as possible. I know people are going to give false encouragements and crap like don’t give up. I’m not, I’m just moving on.

@Ms89Monkeylover

5 жыл бұрын

You go girl!

@MayaRivka

5 жыл бұрын

I also wanted to have more than 2 but also had 2. But seeing the planet as it is, is it really a responsible choice to have so many? Our planet is burdened with so many humans and its not getting better. I fear for my grandchildren and the depletion of resources. I think it’s something we really need to be mindful of.

@KellsSmith1244

5 жыл бұрын

This is really great to read. I'm 50 and my two daughters are young adults now. I am a patient and kind mom now, but I was completely overwhelmed when they were little. I just didn't have my act together and having kids was not a solution. My brother is single with no kids and he's super happy living in a small condo in a big city.

@leahquispe4569

4 жыл бұрын

I got married but it was awful because the person I married just wanted a green card and citizenship..... You are lucky to be able to travel, my son is in the autistic spectrum, I would love to travel, not sure I'll be able to, Be happy where you are.....Life is too short.... I've been recovering from a car accident that happened almost 2 years ago.... Life is short grab happiness with both hands...

@pawsnotclaws2772

4 жыл бұрын

Christina Mammolito you go girl!!

Mom of four boys here. I LOVE my sons and NO we were not "trying for a girl" when we had our sons. But now that we have reached that stage of being done I have had to mourn the idea of having a daughter. I would not change any of my sons from exactly who they are...but I did always hold on to that idea of having a little girl. I understand that period of needing to say goodbye to a picture you had in your head while still being very happy and content with the life you have.

@susansmith493

3 жыл бұрын

I think 90% of women think as you do .... the longing for a daughter. I wonder if most men long for sons. I'm not sure. I only ever wanted boys.

@IONov990

2 жыл бұрын

@@susansmith493 Did you get along better with boys growing up?

@tmaxwell6033

2 жыл бұрын

@@susansmith493 same. I'm pregnant with my second boy and plan to have one more, which I hope is also a boy. But I will be happy if it is a girl too. Just always saw myself as a boy mom.

@IONov990

2 жыл бұрын

@@lisafoos8976 Why do you think it is difficult raising girls? My mom used to say things like that

@albertschulz5575

2 жыл бұрын

Same here. Took a tremendous amount of emotional work to be okay with it. Wishing you all the best!

Wow! You said EVERYTHING that I have thought and felt after having only one son (at 36). Wanting another child and deciding not to have another child was one of the toughest decisions I have ever made and I still sometimes feel regret, guilt and grief. Thank you for sharing your feelings so I know mine are shared by others...I'm not alone.

This is like, I think all parents feel. We had this dream of how parenting would be, but reality is that the kids take their own path. I love the journey my son takes me on and I have accepted he determines how things will go. Still every day he makes me feel amazed how this little person discovers the world and will see small wonders he is surprised about. He is my little treasure.

I wanted 2. One of each. Had my awesome daughter, now 6 years old. Still secretly want a second, but as a full time working mom who wants to have the energy for the one child she has, I just can't do it. I'd rather be a good mom to one, than a frazzled mom to two.

@vivianevans1228

5 жыл бұрын

Good for you....you became wise quickly.....

@jessielynn

5 жыл бұрын

Your comment is me! Full time working mom with a 9 year old and I’m still not ready for the second.

@Kim2887

5 жыл бұрын

@@jessielynn Sadly for me it prob will never happen. I'm 45 now, lol.

@lizlindenbauer8519

5 жыл бұрын

I feel the same way!

@jeniferkoch4883

5 жыл бұрын

I always wanted two or more. That plan didn't work for us. We've tried and lost. First one is 6 and talks about his 'brother or sister' who will likely never come. I'm slowly accepting that I want him to have the attention, financial security, and energy from us he deserves and has become accustomed to. Best laid plans...

I'm not a woman or a mother, but something about this really resonates with me. I think it's the common theme that we all have created certain expectations in our lives. But that doesn't always align with reality.

This is bang on the mark. My two boys show me exactly who i am and not who i believe myself to be. It's a revelation!

Listen your talks is just like reading a short storie... it's also colorful and so full of emotion - and also very well put into words. ❤ thank you!

I wanted 5. I have 1 and I'm done. I can't have anymore medical reason so I'm grateful for my amazing son.

@matthewlocke9225

4 жыл бұрын

Andrea Miller I would consider adoption, my best friend is an only child and she wishes her parents had another child, even if it wasn’t biological

@kv8497

4 жыл бұрын

Same. Wanted 5 have 1. I feel done right now at least.

@iancarisi8342

4 жыл бұрын

I wanted 3, had a vasectomy after the first because my now ex wife thought that it was OK for a woman to hit a man. Sadly, most of you, society, agree with this.

@rolandofgilead43

4 жыл бұрын

@@iancarisi8342 sorry to hear that man, no it's not okay it's fucked up no matter the gender. at least you had one kid man

@LC-kk9kc

4 жыл бұрын

I'm an only child and I've always been happy 👍

I wanted six. And boy did I try. My first, I was on bed rest for 6 months. Had a terrible time trying to hang on to her. We both almost didn't make it. But I had a beautiful daughter...and so I wanted another. My second and third. I just couldn't keep them inside me. One came at six months and the other at five. Horrific . Awful guilt. Why did my babies die before they even left my body. So. I was going to be the mother of one. We resigned ourselves to it. Loved our daughter . She was enough. Then God gave me my second child. We weren't trying. We were actively not trying. Using birth control... Again hard pregnancy. In bed. She came at 31 weeks. But she was healthy. Just tiny. We decided then, that was all. We had two lovely wonderful amazing daughters. They were enough. Now they are 39 and 34 and they are everything a mama could ask for. I'm blessed.

@mrazqmujete1427

5 жыл бұрын

How old are you?????????????????/

@Tara-id3rk

5 жыл бұрын

Your daughters are a blessing. And you will meet your other babies one day :) God bless

@gigidodson

5 жыл бұрын

I'm 57.

@rosaliehoover6105

5 жыл бұрын

Aww this brought tears to my eyes.... so thankful that you had 2 healthy ones!

@TriggerHappy923

5 жыл бұрын

Pregnancy is a huge strain on the body. It can cause temporary issues even lifelong issues. Some hormone issues, maybe even thyroid issues. Low thyroid hormone leads to miscarriages. You're working for double and sometimes that's too much. Whoever says pregnancy is nothing on a woman to sacrifice is full of it.

Amazing how your story is similar to mine. Except that I wanted 4 children, but gave up at child number 2. I was , I am, such a worried mother and could not cope with them sick. Was terrified in each viroses episode... But to this date I regret not being brave enough to try 2 more angels. And at the end of the day I think exactly the same as you : things are as they should be. According to HIS wish!!!❤❤❤

Thank you for being so open and honest about this!