There is more to this. Who are we when we are afraid, when in a difficult situation vs when we have no difficulties? A lot of people want to be one way but when backed into a corner we behave differently.

@NegotiationMastery

Жыл бұрын

Agreed! Fear and difficulties can alter our behavior. Thanks for sharing!

@JoisAkshaj

Жыл бұрын

@@NegotiationMastery Sharing?

Wow, that bear analogy must work. When I heard it not only did I know what I would do, but I didn’t believe anyone would answer either of the other questions. From my perspective, it’s a bear. It is not going to understand if you approach it to give it a hug and will likely maul you. But if you hace to fight it to save your life, it’s a bear. It’s going to beat me in a strength battle every time, but as a human being my one advantage is I might be able to beat it in strategy. Obviously, if it already has me in its grip and I have a knife it’s time to fight, but if I can find a way to hide or get away without drawing it’s attention that is ideal, and if I can’t do that finding a way to take it out at a distance gives me a better shot at survival. I can see someone not thinking of those options in the moment because you are faced with a bear that might kill you. I can even at least understand the idea that the bear hasn’t attacked you yet, so maybe waiting until it’s clear it’s going to attack before hurting it makes sense. I also understand the concept that if it does hurt you you have to do what you need to do to survive even if the poor bear is only following its nature and was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. But we aren’t talking about a situation where you can’t think of the options. The question tells us the options. Why on earth in a battle with a bear would anyone think it’s a better idea to try to win a physical fight with a bear rather than trying to win a battle of wits with a bear? To put it in D&D terms, the bear has huge Strength and Constitution stats compared to me. I have huge Wisdom and Intelligence stats compared to the bear. If I want to win, I need to make the battle a battle of Wisdom and Intelligence, not if Strength and Constitution. To be clear, I’m not saying Analysts are inherently superior to Assertives. I strongly believe from a moral perspective and an intelligence standpoint all types have both strengths and weaknesses and overall are inherently equal. I’m just saying in this particular thought experiment the other two answers are so foreign to me I actually thought at first they were both jokes and no one would ever answer either one. Since people actually clearly do answer the other two answers, there is clearly something important I am missing. This means I need to do a much better job getting into the minds of Assertives and Accommodators to understand what they are thinking and why they are thinking it.

Sometimes, perception is more real than reality.

@NegotiationMastery

Жыл бұрын

One's perception is their reality. That is why Tactical Empathy is so powerful.

These are gems. ❤❤❤❤❤

Questioning authority is certainly a recessive trait. Roughly 80% of the public simply does not do it.

@hollybigelow5337

11 ай бұрын

I would agree with that. I will also go one step further. Many of the people I know who do question authority don’t do it in a rational, balanced way. Instead, they basically question it merely for the fact that it is authority, and they default to not only QUESTIONING authority, but flaunting it. If authority is wrong, and it often is, this will be the correct response, but sometimes authority is wrong and sometimes it is right. This means those of us who follow authority without question are often going to be wrong, and those of us who automatically fight authority without question also are often going to be wrong. It is rare to find someone who sometimes follows authority and sometimes fights it.

I see that I like to defend my reasoning, but I have seen more often that others tend not to care. So I felt not listened to. Now I know better... they don't care about the reasons most of the time.

Another pure gold video by BSG ❤thank you Derek and Sandy! Another home run!

@NegotiationMastery

Жыл бұрын

Glad you enjoyed it

Better than 'sorry for waiting' is 'thank you for your patience' ... 😉

This so MUCH fun to know and use❤

Also, for anyone who wants to understand Analysts better, at least for me part of the reason I have to prep and review is because I literally am incapable of following the conversation in real time most of the time. In the Myers-Briggs testing I am definitely an N rather than an S. I am caught up a ton in my head and am not very aware of the physical world around me. I can’t count how many times someone will compliment another person on their haircut and I will think, “Oh, did they cut their hair?” Then l’ll look at them and realize I can’t remember how they used to look and have no clue if they did or not. I have had situations where someone might compliment another person on their weight loss and ask how much weight they have lost, and they will say something like 70 pounds, and I didn’t notice the difference. That may sound harsh, but the good news is I am also unlikely to notice when someone GAINS 70 pounds as well. While technically at some level this might be a choice, the harder I try is I notice the world around me the worse my migraines get and the greater my general memory loss, so I can do it for SOME top priority things, but I can’t do it for everything. This is likely an aspect of my ADHD. So while I believe it’s somewhat a choice, I also believe there are people who work have as hard as I do at these skills and get at least 10 times better results in this area due to how they are wired. It all evens out. It may have its downside, but how I’m wired gives me special skills in other areas. Anyway, the point is that in the moment a combination of the difficulty of perceiving the room around me and also anxiety makes it nearly impossible for me to be present in real time. If I prepare in advance, I can create decision trees and also figure out what data is relevant, or at least seems relevant, before I get in the room. This gives me a greater ability to interact with the other person, maybe even give them SOME answers, and also know what data I should prioritize gathering during the interaction. In the actual meeting, I will mostly go on autopilot based on the decision trees I created in advance and will do my best to just put my mind on record mode rather than analysis mode because if I try to analyze the data in real time I will miss a lot of the conversation. After the meeting, I can then start replaying my imperfect recording and try to see what happened and what’s important. Why is this important? Well, in the book Chris Voss says something like that an Analyst will spends hours or even days figuring something out that they could have figured out in 15 minutes at the negotiating table. I solidly believe the Assertives could pick that up in 15 minutes. And if I have properly prepped, I might even pick it up, too. However, if I walk in that room without any preparation and decide to fly by the seat of my pants the odds that I will notice that thing that happened in 15 minutes is almost zero. Perhaps with training to help me focus better and remember better and to help me bring my anxiety down I might be able to develop the skill of perceiving that thing that the Assertive picks up in 15 minutes of interaction. I would LOVE to have that skill, but unfortunately it is not innate, and so far I haven’t even found a reliable training program that will give me those skills no matter how hard I am willing to work or how much I am willing to spend. So when it bothers you that the Analysts have to do a pre and post version of meetings, perhaps it will take some of the resentment away to know that it’s not just extra work we are doing to cover our butts and make sure we don’t get it wrong. It is all of the work we are doing to compensate for the fact that we are wired differently. I would much prefer not to have the meeting at all. I rarely get anything out of it that I couldn’t have gotten better from primarily emails with the occasional phone call to clarify a couple of points. To me, the meeting itself is what is wasting the time. My prep work and post work can be halved if I know meeting time is going to be minimal because I can just focus on the argument itself rather than having to prep a whole bunch of decision trees to create the illusion that I am capable of somewhat responding in real time. And I also get that some things are just easier to explain verbally and in person, so not all meetings are bad or a waste of time - just roughly 90% of them. Am I capable of doing the meeting without any pre and post analysis? Sure. In that scenario, know that I can create a default answer of no for everything you propose. History has shown me the risks of saying yes tend to be way higher than the risks of saying no, so if I can’t understand the argument being made it’s better just to go with that. If I can do the data analysis beforehand and you happen to propose a deal I’ve already considered and like, I can even do the conversation with only pre analysis and no post analysis. But if you absolutely insist that I skip my process of pre analysis because it’s wasting time and it s just overthinking, I can do that. I’ve already done enough life pre analysis to know that a no and preserving the status quo may make me miss out on occasional amazing opportunities, but it also protects me from going bankrupt over fraudulent schemes and protects me from making commitments I can’t live up to and protects me from putting myself in dangerous or miserable circumstances. Basically, I’ve already done the analysis, and the answer is no. Now, if you want to give me time to re-think and consider if this situation is unique enough to justify taking the risk and changing my answer to yes, I will take the time to do that. Yes, I know this process is inherently flawed, but it does compensate fairly well for my inability to notice the world around me in real time.

@NegotiationMastery

11 ай бұрын

It sounds like our training would be a great fit for you. Go to the quiz on our website to discover which kind is right for you: bit.ly/3N9MhWc

@hollybigelow5337

11 ай бұрын

@@NegotiationMastery If I ever get money again I definitely would love to do some training. I recently lost my job if 15 years, and my new base salary is $25,800, so basically at the moment it’s essentials only, but I’ll try to keep this link handy in case that ever changes. Thanks.

@hollybigelow5337

11 ай бұрын

@@NegotiationMastery Dang it. You are even in my home town on Oct 23. I wouldn’t even have to get work off for that day. I hace never wished I had money for a training more. Maybe the impossible will happen and I will get money from somewhere between now and then.

Chris is more eloquent in delivering his teachings

@NegotiationMastery

10 ай бұрын

We appreciate your input. Thanks for watching.

🔥🔥💯💯

Hey Swans, fast question. In the first phase of team building, it is good to use a directive style according to Blanchard's situational leadership theory. This style is needed because it is about setting frameworks, rules, standards. It also applies to POSITION. At this stage, the employee needs frequent feedback. Is it a good assumption for BSG to negotiate with a team member in this way?

@flochfitness

Жыл бұрын

Sounds like you are looking for a definitive answer to get it right?

@NegotiationMastery

Жыл бұрын

Remember the 80/20 Rule. 80% Accommodator 20% Analyst