Your ex will reach out when she realises that she can't replace you. Live your life and be on your purpose!

@hashemaltuhl4518

9 ай бұрын

Or he

@CoachKen

8 ай бұрын

YES

@erinlarge5649

8 ай бұрын

What if they have convinced themselves that they don't miss you. What if you didn't do anything wrong , there was just a miscommunication but they did not respond to your texts explaining yourself? A month from now, and they are over you but you still love them ? These are my fears

@Happy-Me.

8 ай бұрын

@@erinlarge5649 First of all they're your ex for a reason and that's why you're not with them. If they do have BPD then they can convince themselves of anything especially as they will have a victim mindset. Either way you're better off without them! However, if you had a romantic and intimate relationship with them and you were their Favourite Person then you will have imprinted them and they will never truly get over you!

@vincentbravo4553

7 ай бұрын

An if she does replace you then I guess it’s a win win ??

My ex came back after 5 months, I didn’t want him anymore because I had done so much work on myself. I’m posting this so that others know that it can take a while. I chose not to take him back but it’s up to you…

@juliemanso4589

Ай бұрын

That’s awesome! 👏🏻

@Edwardisevol

10 күн бұрын

So sick love that you chose to share ! hope you find someone who choose you as much as you chose them 🤍

One of the most discouraging aspects of “No Contact” is the feeling that “I’m not worth holding onto” at the time of the breakup is compounded by the feeling that “I’m not worth coming back for” after a long time of NC.

@bobaygaming1978

6 ай бұрын

Not at all! Try to shift your mindset to the fact that they could be nervous! I recently learned that a long time ex is actually nervous to reach out because I’ve become so much better and they’re scared to say anything because of how hurt I was when they broke up with me! (I’m not gonna help alleviate her anxiety because I don’t want her back, but still!) you need to focus all of your pain and energy into improving yourself, for yourself. Not for anyone else! I wish you the best!

@ragingphoinix9144

6 ай бұрын

Real talk, coming from a dumpee who earned her spot: sometimes you're not worth coming back for. Doesn't mean you're not a worthwhile person, now, but in that moment, when your ex left, they thought you weren't worth it. And if you're honest, you probably weren't. We all like to pin this on the dumper: they're horrible people who are unsympathetic and cold. Chances are more often then not: we weren't our best selves or they'd not have felt they needed to leave. No contact isn't to get them back. It's to learn how to become a person worth a healthy relationship.

@Tommykey07

5 ай бұрын

You have to stop thinking that the other person is worth getting back. They're not coming back to you is a gift.

51 days. Every minute of every day is a struggle…

@JuniorWitter-vz4mh

9 ай бұрын

Keep going buddy. If you know you did the right thing and she didn't appreciate it. It wasn't meant to be....

@GordonPavilion

9 ай бұрын

It’s about ~120 days here. Not a day goes by…

@jeffh6960

5 ай бұрын

​@GordonPavilion I'd say if you are still NC ..... send an open ended text. Leave at that and stop counting

@SnapEtaco

3 ай бұрын

@averystreater3546 - Stay strong brother. Im struggling with you. She told me she was done. It's all my fault. 42 days no contact. But I've been working out, lost 25 lbs in 3 weeks. I pray your ex becomes your one again soon. Praying for myself too. Stay strong.

@johnnyquid-xj4kk

3 ай бұрын

Doing great then

No one wants to date someone who isn't over their ex. I wouldn't do that to someone. I certainly wouldn't want someone to do it to me.

“You’re a narcissist, congratulations “…. That was so funny. Really enjoyed this lesson. Came at the perfect time. Thank you.

Bout to start my 8 hour shift and listen to this on replay

Coach Ken and Coach Lee videos really ease my mind. I am doing good right now and thought "well i dont need to watch a video right now i am doing good". But decided to click anyways and its almost relaxing and soothing. I was doing good, but watching this somehow gave me a bit more of peace and so I am thankful.

No contact is forever unless the dumper makes the iniitaitive to communicate

@Of_the_sea

19 күн бұрын

and then if they contact I’m not running towards them, not answering their messages, I’m gonna let them really think and reflect on their actions and behavior with me. They have to feel the pain of losing the person they took for granted and disrespected.

No contact should be final, forever, Not a game.

@cooldad895hess8

Ай бұрын

Oh so true.

I was seeing a man for a year and I genuinely thought I was in love with him. He would text me on and off, texted me when he wanted to see me and would ignore me for weeks when he wanted nothing to do with me. Eventually I said something like I couldn’t take it anymore and that I loved him too much and this hurt. He treated me like absolute garbage ending contact completely. Something he said specifically thought has just not only hurt me so much, but put into perspective how disrespectful he has been and how blind I had been to it. Thanks to you I completely ended contact, told myself I would never let someone disrespect me like that again. He came crawling back and I was so disgusted with his actions I completely ignored him. Thank you for these videos, they kept me strong throughout it. And for anyone who might be reading this, I thought I was gonna die from the emotional pain and damage I was going through. Now I’m finding my peace again. It gets better!! Do not let someone tell you more than once they don’t want you. Respect yourself enough to walk away and work on yourself. Better things will come.

@neihomai8

19 сағат бұрын

how long did you do no contact for ?

Mines a narcissist. Been gone over a year. I’d love to hear anything almost. Just feel so trashed in regards to her. My life is Much better. I’ve moved on 90% but miss the good times.

First time to listen to you Coach Ken!! Great video and very informative!!! I've been in no contact now for 22 months. If my ex gf was to ever reach out, I'm not sure what my response would be. I no longer miss her and she would feel like more of a stranger to me, as I've totally healed. Don't know if I could ever trust her again since she was the one to walk away without warning; it felt like a death at that moment. I'm in a much better place now!! The best advice I could give to others is; stay in no contact, and never reach out unless they contact you first, then decide whether or not you wish to respond..No Contact will make you stronger and help you heal!! Love yourself first!!! Always Remember: You are the Prize!!!

@pj8624

6 ай бұрын

You're welcome! Hope it helps! It's officially 24 months of zero contact and there's no turning back now! Stay strong and put yourself first! @@Whatsthedealio1977

@SpyOnDeck

Ай бұрын

Thank you 🙏

No Contact is not about getting the other person back. If they don't reach out to you after a few months, you don't need that person. There is someone else better for you that you won't meet if you keep pining for the person you miss.

@alfrenrodriguez1444

2 ай бұрын

thats what i thought that should be a reasonable waiting time like 2 or 3 months and after that time pretty much is over..

@ArjanTV

Ай бұрын

Nah if they reach back and havent had abother man during that time take them back bcs im 30 years old and all the grils will leave at some point so if u keep letting them go you will end up alone... this is what i have done all my life let everyone go now if this one reach out i will have to take her back or find someone else and start all over again till she does the same thing

I went no contact for 4 days in that time I got 12 messages 3 txts 3 Facebook reply’s, it sent her crazy… and she was the initial dumper 😊

@NinjaKiller999

Ай бұрын

That many messages that quickly is not healthy, she might have bpd or something else

Took me 5 months to realize its not enough to just project strength. You need to cultivate it every single day. She “came back” twice and both times I still came across “injured” which pushed her away. I learn lol, but she’ll be back. Please don’t stalk their social media, build yourself up, be the best version of you. It sounds cliche but its the only way to get yourself back and them.

@jeffh6960

5 ай бұрын

You have to be in a state thay shows. 1 you don't need them. 2 that you think the relationship would be worth it.

@theLupeXperience

3 ай бұрын

This is such good advice!

Listen to Coach his right. My Ex reached out after 4 months of no contact. This time she admitted she messed up and has been watching all my social media. She’s in a rebound relationship and admitted to me she’s looking for a place to move out. I stayed in my course and worked on myself In all aspects . Grateful for everything Coach and looking forward to our next meeting this week.

@nicolaskni2751

9 ай бұрын

Hey Julio, what did you do to improve? And how quickly did your ex got into a rebound? And was that person the complete opposite of you?

@nicolaskni2751

9 ай бұрын

Also did you date while being apart?

@SpyOnDeck

Ай бұрын

Did you two get back together?

@Christian.Knight

Ай бұрын

Awesome. Any updates???

A personality typology called Socionics shows the heart is divided into 2 parts: 1) Emotions (tied into logic) 2) Ethics of Relations (tied into rational actions)

I admit I think about her a lot. Sometimes I just don't want, it's heavy but thoughts and memories just run in my head like videotape. I'm actually bettered myself hugely since we broke up and see my worth much much deeper. It's been over 2 months NC and sometimes I just want this to end. We'll see what future brings. Stay strong All.

@theLupeXperience

3 ай бұрын

Any updates?

One of the BEST coaches out there. Thank you Coach Ken! Good summary of how to use of no contact correctly.

Who in the world would want an ex back after they been with someone else 🤔 It's been contaminated. I personally could never enjoy her peach pie again. Think about that as you lay your head down to sleep.

Thanks Ken, I really needed to hear this now, blessings to you ❤

Wise, and sound advice.

I have to make you my compliments for the genuinity and spontaneity you transmit, you seem a good man who is not trying to teach games, but really how to have an understanding relationship. I hate when they talk about mind games and how to play it cool, that is so immature. It's really soothing to hear someone understanding the pain and that emotions are sometimes indeed not truly logical. Most of all I repeat, it seems you're a good man, that why it's nice to listen. Ps: here I have a contradiction to say. Since me and my boyfriend had really a deep serious bond and never cheated on each other for 4 years and a half, and always say to each other even in fights we'll never date others, if I would see them dating someone else I would never reach out for them EVER AGAIN. This is true, cause they would really break that innocent bond that was between us. So if you want to have them back, I suggest you yes to talk to others, have them as friend, but don't date! I would never date anyone, nor come back to someone dating another! Ever

I love ur content sooo much , there is no other coach out there that speak so well and easily to be related by you. You speak a lot facts yet not diminishing hope

Ken !!! You are absolutely awesome!!! Thank you for your advice and inspiration ❤😊 Its really hard but I am healing and each day I am getting stronger 😊

Excellent content, as usual, kudos for lighting my way back to myself, Ken👍🏻

Thank you Coach Ken for your insight and the encouragement to work on myself and regain my strength. And I love how you make little snarky comments sometimes that make me bust out laughing. It helps to step back and look at the relationship situation with a bit of lighthearted humor.

It’s true about you feeling you have a purpose. You have and you fulfill it with these. It’s hard, so many times I’ve listened to these when I’ve felt weak and almost ready to reach out.

@CoachKen

8 ай бұрын

Thanks Angie! Appreciate the encouragement very much!

This is really helpful! I’ve been struggling with trying to move on without letting her go (I don’t think I’m there yet). We were together for 3 years and became best friends 6 months before that. I graduated college a year ago and stuck around the state for her since she’s about to graduate. I think that made me build my life around her too much. We’ve had to do long distance the last year and in my eyes the relationship was strong and happy. I feel like I treated her very well and it felt like absolute true love. I was her first everything and she was my first real relationship. We broke up a month ago and I started NC a few days ago after we talked (I basically begged for her back and thought it was my fault, wrote a letter and everything). I feel if our love is true we will find our way back but right now we both need to build a life outside of each other and not around each other. If we grow and heal the worst parts about ourselves the relationship could work again or it wasn’t meant to be. Good luck everyone and go try to be better versions of yourselves!

Best coach out there identies the best tx brother this has been brutal

Hit the like button folks. This brother preaches the truth!

“I love him but he is not my God.” That stuck out to me. Never looked at it that way but it’s so true and valid. Once again great video, thanks Coach

Thank you for all your incredible insight and knowledge. You eased my mind and helped me remember who I am. That is priceless. Talk to you soon for an update. Ttyl

It's been over five months now and I was the one who started the no contact this time. I'm just so sick of his lies and abuse anymore. He's a big time cheater and lair. He left for another woman and now is cheating on her now... so yeah I'm never coming back... she can have that fool.

This dude is very very good

Thanks Ken, you made this time bearable for me ❤

I believe in your purpose. And I love that you know the difference between compassion and false hope and never sacrifice truth for the latter. I think our Father in heaven must have done a good number on you, to mould you into who you are now. Thank you for being strong and handling the pain, and helping others handle it.

@CoachKen

8 ай бұрын

He's been very merciful to me

Coach Ken, can you make a video about how to move on from a BPD relationship?

Loved this video thank you

@CoachKen

8 ай бұрын

Thanks Jelli!

It means you checked your Ego!

4 months into no contact and I'm still traumatised.

@GordonPavilion

9 ай бұрын

With you, but it’s getting better …all the time.

@WiseAsianGirl

2 ай бұрын

Same

@droflivelife

2 ай бұрын

@WiseAsianGirl hi there. I found after about 6 months it started to get better. Been 11 months now and I'm doing much better.

@WiseAsianGirl

2 ай бұрын

@@droflivelife hii im so happy for you! 😊 i hope it will get better for me too.. right now i dont even feel worth returning to

@Ghostrider32064

Ай бұрын

I'm also 10 days away from 4 months of no contact , self worth is quite low still. Miss her everyday. My no contact started 26 jan her birthday was on 15 Feb, I sometimes wonder that what if she isn't reaching out because i didn't wish her happy birthday. I couldn't wait for another 20 days for her birthday to pass and then go contact , it was too painful I had to do it. Did I ruin my chances by doing that ?

Almost 7 months. Every day is a blessing, a gift from god, and it's livable! She didn't do anything for me. I did everything for her. Never want anything one sided again. Stay single, stay free, be happy!

awesome advice

@CoachKen

7 ай бұрын

Glad you liked it!

47 days here, day by day i think of her but i know this happened for a reason. Never knew what no contact was until now.

18 months of No Contact after a 22 year relationship, I think it's safe to say it's over

@wtcmedic911

9 ай бұрын

Mine was 10 years with a narcissist. She’s been gone also 18 months. She yelled at me in March on voice mail for sending things back as she requested. When I’m tired I miss her and the high

@russ123321bunya

9 ай бұрын

Have you reached out?

@MDDR-io7nh

9 ай бұрын

Why would I reach out when he monkey branched. He already had someone waiting on the side. I will never reach out!

Exactly what I needed to hear this morning. Plz make a video on how to find a purpose greater than being "her everything". I feel like my loyalty to her is a purpose greater than myself, and undying love is my greatest value. I'm working on my degree to become the 2.0 version, so I have a SECONDARY purpose but how do I make the secondary, primary?

I wouldn’t want to date someone who is not over their ex. If they bring her up during our date - it’s over. I refuse to be a rebound and it’s not fare to me, I want someone who is ready emotionally to open new chapter of their lives instead of rereading past chapters. I’m giving it my all and I expect them to give their all or it’s not gonna work.

One of your best videos ever! 🎉

3:33 as a charger owner this is so funny 😂

I have been in no contact working on myself. He will reach out once every few weeks. Say hello then ask how I am. I answer very shortly. With out emotion and in short. Then he won’t say anything else. Then reach out again after a few weeks. It’s a hovering game with him. He continues to do it. I stopped thinking he was going to return. So when he messages I answer. But what he doesn’t know is he lost his chance with me through this game. I think he just wants to feel I’ll always be available. But through this behavior of his has shown me a lot. I choose to be someone’s choice in a room full of people rather than the only one in an empty room. Besides all of that. Hes a covert Narcissist so it all’s for the best.

@CoachKen

3 ай бұрын

Very happy. for you! CN can be incredibly damaging and addictive! You can also give him the same "you deserve to be with someone who's able and willing to give you what you need. I'm not that person, so I need to be honest with you and myself enough to tell you to move on." They hate hearing what they like saying to others

So long as I have peace I do not worry about the other person now, I will forgive but that does not mean I will put myself in the line of fire again. After 6 years of suffering the rages , the blame projection and verbal abuse I am done but I have peace because I know I was innocent and did nothing to hurt only to help but to no avail, so I leave it in Gods hands and shake the dust off my feet and move on.

@cburgz3697

9 ай бұрын

You played a role, do you know what role it was?

@sulamerican3135

5 ай бұрын

​@@cburgz3697What was it?

Your videos always help me tremendously, Ken. I’m currently in no contact with my ex for a little over a week and it feels like it’s been an eternity. I messed up really bad and hurt her terribly, but I know I need to give her the space she deserves away from me to heal. I just want her back to prove I can do better, will be better- but within this past week, I’ve realized the type of person I was and want to change that for the better. Listening to you helps me a lot and takes the stress away. Thank you so much.

@russ123321bunya

9 ай бұрын

What happened during the breakup, is she aware you know your issues contributed and did you apologise for that yet?

@kagamitaiga9167

7 ай бұрын

same bro

@kagamitaiga9167

7 ай бұрын

me too, ive realized my mistakes, if we didnt broke up i cant reflect on my past actions. Been like 5 weeks already

@jeffh6960

5 ай бұрын

Any update brother ? You hold fast in no contact? Ask her out for coffee? Or the "I hope you are doing well" text?

@Lemonyzed

5 ай бұрын

@@jeffh6960 Holding fast with the no contact, bud. I haven’t looked at her socials in about two weeks cause it triggers me but I’m way better than I was three months ago- learning to actually love myself and care for myself instead of wallowing in self pity. She’ll come back and I know that in my heart. She’s in a different country but I’d love to ask her out to coffee lol. One day I will.

Thinking about that Cher song I'm I strong enough to live without you.😁

It's the "international peace sign" and "kia thought it was a charger" for me 😂😂💀

Coach. Do you have a video on how to know if your being love bombed. By a new person in my life? This lady is amazing kind and thoughtful. We both are adult seniors. Her actions touch my heart. Sadly I can’t yet wipe my 10 year ex who I was so in love with even with all the narcissistic baggage. I admired her. Confirmed narcissist since HS. She’s 65 now. My new lady is the opposite, Asian and great. Then I thought about love bombing. Also I still pray for my ex to miss me. (Yes I know it’s a lie). One great thing. I lost the last and have no contact at all. Inherited her 2 adult sons. Not a bad deal for me. lol. I love them both fine and honorable young men. We don’t talk about their mother unless it’s to speak of a trauma from her. Or being neglected. Told them I want to know nothing. Not out of anger but out of love. She walked. I did not. The last words were “be quiet in your place and don’t bug me”. Luckily in a voicemail so when I’m down. This helps. Lol

Thanks!

@CoachKen

8 ай бұрын

Hey Bonnadorable! Thanks so much

Has been 9 months now been separated. Last time I saw him was 5 months ago. We were together 5 years . He is stubborn person and his ego is higher than his love for me. He disrespected me and I walked away and never heard from him. He blocked me and I found out that he is with someone even he told me that love me.

I saw my ex dating others and it made me feel less and dont want her back anymore . Yes it hurts but it’s unfair if shes hooking up with others . I rather be single and take time to grow and find a better woman

I was in a LTR long distance for 8months she broke up with me in March last contact she made with me was May in August she like a couple photos. I have not reached out to the breadcrumbs. Now she is posting quotes and now has unfollowed me on snap chat and Instagram. Still has me on Facebook but I’m restricted. I’m gonna keep doing the NC even though it’s hard. Hopefully something will change with her.

@wtcmedic911

9 ай бұрын

10 years also in a long term long distance. A narcissist and I didn’t realize it. We were together on her 90 day visas. I still miss her

Even if I'm doing No Contact I can't have him back because he has too much baggage ( addiction to drugs, options, amount mental issues, Narcissist traits, Depression, post traumatic stress and deceptive). Lot of respect and love for him has disappeared. That's the karma when he betrayed me. He lost me. I am doing forever Now Contact.

I hit 100 days NC instigated by me. My ex FA broke up with me. He was all in his feelings at the breakup. So deep there was no discussion.

Coach Ken - help 🙌🏻 Does the no contact work outside of when he comes to my work and picks up stuff that he delivers for us? Does this also work when I walked away from a situation where he was unavailable because of someone else. 2:15

@CoachKen

3 ай бұрын

Yes - missing a lot of details but just going by what you have here - yes, it still works in many cases

Its been 1 month since we split and started NC. We split because she told me she felt like she had doubts in our relationship and had wanted to leave to have some time to find herself. We've been together for 6 years and have lived together for 3 years. Shes had a history of cheating on me twice before this recent break up. She told me she wanted to find herself and wanted to see who she was without me and to decide if she wanted me in her life. About 1 week ago she broke contact to retrieve her printer because she needed to print out documents to get her passport. Turns out she was talking to one of her online friends that lived in Europe and told me she started having feelings for him and he had feelings for her and wanted her to visit him in europe for 2 weeks for his vacation. She said he was going to pay for the whole trip and when i asked her if she was going to go she said she really wants to but doesnt know if she is going to. She said she wanted to see how if this relationship would work or if she's going to regret her decision. Mind you their interactions have strictly been online only. It was hard hearing this news because of the reality of her being so far away with practically a stranger shes never met in person. She made me feel like our relationship meant nothing to her and that i was worthless to her. Its truly heartbreaking but it gave me the closure to finally start moving on. Im trying to stay strong but its been a difficult time. I want her back but i know that it may not happen. These past few weeks ive been missing her so much its been hurting me so much. Still in no contact but hoping she will realize her mistake.

it worked for me three times. each time after about 8 months and every time he came back more in love that before. i am joking often that on the next breakup he will propose.

@jeffh6960

5 ай бұрын

That's kinda toxic. Please do therapy together

@CoachKen....What if she sent me a pair of texts in the last 2 months breadcrumbing me with the "Hi, how are you?" ? I was very nonchalant and indifferent. It's been about a 1.5 months with no more interaction. I have not broken no contact since 6/12/23 and she broke up with me on 5/12/23. I can't believe I'm still not over her in 7+ months. I hate feeling like this.

I broke no contact after 3 months, she didn't even open the message...I've been moving on, and I have, to some extent, I'm dating again now..I'm annoyed at myself that I still think about her everyday though.

While listening, l was literally watching the pendulum swing side to side on the wall clock, then you mentioned your metaphor about watching the watch.... profound. It then occurred to me that if my ex represented either the hour hand, minute hand or the second hand they all eventually come back to the same place on the clock regardless if you're watching the pendulum or not. In that sense, watching the pendulum is a waste of time. The message l got from you and the clock analogy was use your time to grow and let the hands on the clock ( your ex ) do their thing. The time it takes them to start missing you depends on whether they're the hour hand, minute hand or the second hand. What goes around comes around l guess.

Thank you very much. I have so big pain. No contact is very good idia but I have 1 big problem that she left me with my 4 kids. I miss them and I miss her and crying every day . My relatives insult and offends me by telling me I’m my face that “you are not a man if you cries over your wife left you”. What ca I do in my case if I have kids I must contact them so automatically I contact her for she has mobile phone . Sorry for my English.

6 months? I've been missing her, everyday, since Day 1. It's been almost 6 months. Without hyperbole, Ishe is in my dreams, every night. I feel like she doesn't miss me, at all.

What if I never chased or begged? I just said okay to him saying I need to think about what I need in a LDR. He was scared of being more serious. We’ve been in NC for almost 2.5 months. What should I expect?

Its only been a week and its driving me crazy 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

I agree with this video, but what if she’s doing no contact too?

What I don’t get is why she comes back only to leave. She does it every few days any reason to contact me. She says I’m the closest person to her, wants to meet etc, I keep saying I won’t be friends with her. This has been going on for 8 months it’s exhausting. She has family issues which are means we can’t be together….but why reach out??

Do coach Ken have a FB group? thx

what to expect when a girl keep coming and leaving, she blocked me 7 times in one year... i'm pretty sure she is hiding something from me, we are in a long distance relationship and she never wanted to show me on her instagram, she also delete our conversations... most of the time she block me for a few days, the longest lasted 2 months and i was in so much pain, i lost 28lbs... she came back, but i ended up blocked again since 9 september now, she said she has too much problems in her work and she feel depressed and doesn't want to pass her nerve on me, she said i love you before blocking me... very difficult to move on and i'm never sure that she'll come back or not and even if she comes back, i'm never able to keep her.

I’ve been in no contact for 5 days he’s been gone 3 months and I saw his son to give him something yet my ex messaged me yesterday to say thank you and then what I already knew . Do I reply or just leave it ?

@myrtleesther8855

9 ай бұрын

be honest with yourself and then you will know what to do.

Coach Ken if you had to but a percent on it how much of NO CONTACT and stages of no contact is subconscious??

I’m quoting from another gentleman, “Just because I care for you it doesn’t mean other men will”. I noticed how my exes ended up in really bad relationships soon after. One got beat up by her lover, left her bruised up. I don’t think I ever used profanity around her much less smack her around. But oh well. Usually the grass ain’t greener on the other side. Oh, and yes, I did everything wrong after the break up. But I dodged a bullet. Ah, you remind me of Henry Rollins.

What if my soon to be ex spouse is already in the numb state?

This week it will be two months. I really hate the no contact approach. Emotions come as waves and can be so painful. I miss her even though logically looking back it was a one sided relationship from me, she even acknowledged this when she broke up, but I want nothing more than having her back in my life. I’ve had the worst two months, almost failed university (as a mature student), haven’t been able to get focus on getting a job etc. logically this is a horrible person but I keep thinking back to our years together and how loving she was. Am I just a blind fool?

@CoachKen

Ай бұрын

I wouldn't assume you're a blind fool - more likely a hurting wounded and confused person!

@J3ff687

24 күн бұрын

You undersetimate your capacity to face off struggles. We all pass by these struggles. And personaly i am passing right now by these struggles, but Keep fighting bro. Not many ppl can't stand 2 months without begging the dumper. You are building a stronger mental that will help you when your ex will come back one day or with news relationship. Just keep the faith in God, and in your own Value.

5 months for me. We were long distance. No mutual friends together.

@TACTICOOLJOE94

8 ай бұрын

7 months for me bro. Stay strong

What if you were blocked immediately upon break up? Didn’t have an opportunity to chase. Pretty much forced no contact. Haven’t looked back once.

@Wetsand348

4 ай бұрын

Honestly, that's a blessing since you didn't have the opportunity of doing anything wrong + blocking someone who really cares for you in the middle of their hurt is going to be an extra weight on your ex's mind at some point

Hi Ken quick question, I was in talking terms with my ex and tried to initiate going away together to sort things out between us. Her reply was “I don’t want to hurt your feelings” I immediately went into no contact from there she has sent several messages about ignoring her which I have. She has got bpd and I was the best relationship she had and I was wondering does going radio silence help a bpd realise what she has lost and if so will I continue no contact until she comes with a legitimate offer of us getting close again? Thank you very much

@russ123321bunya

9 ай бұрын

Don't ignore her. Thats the point of no contact. Watch Kens BPD videos.

my question is ; after 6 months ..should i give her or us a second chance? is it healthy? is it worthy? if she didnt come back anytime sooner than 6 months..is it gonna work?

They're not coming back. I say that because it sounds like that usually works. But. They're still not back so I guess it didn't work. Hmmm. But yea. It's tough trying to disconnect. It's something that I'm going through right now. It's been over a year and it's suddenly hitting me that I just want to forget.

My ex dumped me and deleted my contacts that same day because my family made a surprise birthday party and i couldn't be at her place tht day,to find out she had me a surprise party date just her and i tht same day,so i got dumped coz of tht,im hurt,but i know deep down i truly loved her,but i think God pulled me out of a bad relationship in a long run.

@Coach Ken Why will they not ask us what is wrong? Seems like that should be your exes reaction to No Contact. That was the reaction I was hoping for myself.

Question: if he replied to my story does that mean he broke no contact? He didnt try to have a conversation tho

It has been 14 months, she told my brother to tell me hi, and wished me a happy Birthday 3 weeks ago, i did not respond because i really don't know what to do?

Coach Ken I’ve been separated from my husband for 14 months with a pathetic attempt at reconciliation 1/2 way through that time. He has been adamant he is not coming back and wants to move on with his life since March. We have kids so have been in touch the whole time. I pleaded at intervals, the last time being just over a month ago. I almost totally blew it about 5 or 6 weeks ago by attacking him via text mainly because he had spent some time with another person. Now I am basically in something like smart contact and things are ok. In the meantime he is living his own life because apparently he’s no longer in love with me and quite possibly numb. Your video about getting a good man back was us to a tee. All I can do is continue to be the best me now because I think there is still hope there. I am in dark limerance. Not sure what else I can do??!! Please help if you can?

98 days .but he normally messages me before hand. . My intuition tells me to wait..am I wrong?

What if I asked him not to contact me again?

Please help. Mine sent a breadcrumb after many months. I ignored it and not heard anything since. Should I have responded?

@Freudster21

23 күн бұрын

You should have responded and just kept it casual. Like “hey good to hear from you, I’m doing well, just keeping busy, hope the same for you!” If they ask another question or keep the convo going, or reach out again then ask if they’d want to get together for coffee. If they decline or are flaky, then just say “ok take care” and go no contact again, and probably move on. They are playing games at that point.

Hold on so are you guys really trying to get back into a relationship with someone that doesn't want you? I'm sorry for the heart ache you've all experienced, especially if you were truly committed to the relationship, but i haven't spoken to my ex in 4 months, we had a beautiful relationship, rarely any real smoke, but ive grown to understand she wasn't healed and she didn't do the hard work on herself, which is why you need both parents to develop a complete sense of self, and how can you self correct if you don't have the self awareness to do so... it's the same as the kids that are left to their own devices with no one to gate keep food, from there that child will be overweight, have low self esteem, depression, anxiety, so on and so forth, and i think similar things happen to people who don't come up in stability

I let him go because after a year and a half I felt he didn’t give me the place I deserved in his life. Still I don’t feel it has to be me to reach out. Am I wrong!? 😢

Ken what if he reached out after 5 weeks and had the feels, scared he lost me but we jumped back into things too quick and he slid back into relief and took off again after a couple days. Been 5 weeks since then. Haven’t been great at maintaining NC… but I’m back in it again… Last time he was very angry (i thought he hated me), was very adamant we’d never get back together, had a rebound, blocked me everywhere. Right now he just has me blocked on snap bc i bugged him a bit and he seemed more annoyed, not angry. No rebound. Has just asked to be left alone for now. Think he’ll return again if i stick to NC??

@jayr_xx

6 ай бұрын

Also… we are both adhders…

@jayr_xx

6 ай бұрын

Okay he literally reached out 4 hours after i wrote this…

I figure she'll come around after i marry someone else.

Am I blocking him or just ignoring????

So what if both parties are doing NC???...lol

@CoachKen

Ай бұрын

Who initiated? It's on them!